Self-Care for Grief: 100 Practices for Healing During Times of Loss

by Nneka M. Okona

Process your grief, protect your mental health, and find moments of happiness with these 100 self-care activities specifically designed for difficult and distressing situations.

When faced with loss or trauma, the grief can oftentimes feel overwhelming. It can feel difficult, if not impossible, to focus your attention elsewhere. And yet, during hard times is the perfect time to look inwards for support and practice self-care. Tuning in to your personal needs and taking the time to create a thoughtful self-care practice can make all the difference in moving forward in a healthy way.

In Self-Care for Grief , you’ll find 100 self-care activities that are specifically designed to help you protect your mental health, even while grieving.

You’ll find useful activities
-Cooking to honor your loss
-Practicing saying “No”
-Naming your emotions
-And many more

No matter what the circumstances are, Self-Care for Grief has the activities you need to de-stress, stay calm, and even find moments of joy in the most challenging of times.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Health

192 pages, Hardcover

Published August 3, 2021

Reviews

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was received as an ARC from Simon & Schuster – Adams Media in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.

I remember the last time I have suffered a huge loss and that was in 2018 when I lost my uncle, aunt, and grandma in consecutive months. It was so important for self-care and self-value to deter you from being reliant on anything that can hurt you such as drugs and alcohol. I also loved the approach Nneka M. Okona took with this book with it being more of a journal and connection rather than stating facts and recommending the best remedies and practices. Reading this book was like going to your therapist’s office and create a safe space for you to let out all of your negative emotions and normally I could not find that is most self-help books its more factual based or the author sharing their own personal experiences. I know we will have quite a few interests in this book and a lot of people will be checking this book out.

We will consider adding this title to our Self-Help collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

[Kara]

I bought this book after losing my father unexpectedly in 2020. (I must have pre-ordered it because it was released in 2021.) I often liken the grief to a rock I carry with me that changes size: sometimes it’s a pebble and I can put it in my pocket and sometimes it’s an immobilizing boulder, but it’s always with me. I wanted something action-oriented to help me manage it. Even now, more than two years after the loss, the practices help - because grief is unpredictable and you don’t really get over it; you just make space for other emotions as time goes on. I recommend the book to anyone facing any kind of loss, be it the loss of a loved one, a job, home, relationship… It offers mourners something to *do* (and sitting in silence, which is offered as a suggestion, is indeed doing something), and you can refer back to the practices as needed.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 🌟
I read this book after going through a lot of loss this year, including a pregnancy loss. I loved reading the history behind self-care, and about the people and groups who contributed to the field. I found many strategies in the book to use. My favorites are the grief mapping, tapping, meditation, deep breathing exercises, listening in silence, and cutting cords. The book was divided into 4 types of exercises, including physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. I found some of the mental exercises to be a little ambiguous. Although they are helpful to reframing some of my thoughts around the loss, they weren't actionable things I could do, but rather ideas to reflect on. I gained a lot of insight into my grief from this book, and look forward to honoring it and giving it the space it needs in my life. Thank you for this book, Nneka.

[Carol A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some very helpful ideas for anyone going through any kind of transition involving loss—not just ideas of things to do in private, but also things to do when faced with well-meaning cliché spouters, etc.

[Caoilo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Adams Media for an e-ARC for review.


In this short work Okona manages to word the feelings of those who are dealing with a loss and trauma. Not only this but Okona also shows us how to accept these losses, appreciate our feelings and eventually how to move on. The book tells us it is ok to morn and that it does not come with a schedule. How to begin to set boundaries again, to self advocate and more importantly how to love our selves again.

Okona manages to show complete understanding and care in only a few pages. They deal with a wide range of areas in that small amount of space. From fear, guilt to family, friends and healing. By using food, space, sounds and releasing emotions Okona helps her readers with their grief.

I am blown away firstly by the fact that Okona didn't make a book just about death. Yes it does seem to primarily focus on death but at several intervals Okona makes it clear that she wrote this book with all grief in mind. And as someone who has been through many types of grief I can appreciate that.

Not a lot of people would consider the death of a pet the same as the death of a family member. Or see the loss of a job as grief. Though I did pick this book as I continue to grieve a loss of a family member two years on, I actually think that Okona made me realize that I am carrying a lot of other kinds of grief too. Grief that I have never truly dealt with my whole life, because I was never thought how to or even allowed to. In away this book let me acknowledge the fact that in a big way I am still grieving for a childhood I missed out on.

I would recommend this book to EVERYONE, because to some degree we are all grieving something. I have a few friends who's grief is fresh and when they are open to it I will be suggesting this book. It makes so much sense. One of the big things to start off with it the allowing yourself to grieve. I hadn't realized but I grew up not being allowed to truly grieve in case I overshadowed the grief of others. That is step one of grief and I never got that, it is no wonder I carry a life worth of grief around with me.

Though I loved the cover, plain yet elegant, I do wish how ever that there were some drawing or illustrations inside the book. Even just some elegant, gold outlines of cushions or pink petals, just something to make the pages less like a textbook. More of a criticism on the publisher rather than the writer.

As someone who is not religious I am glad Okona did not start her book with that section or she may have lost me. I still do not think attending a religious venue is for me but I did like some of the other suggestions.

The only other criticism I have is that some times there seemed to be quiet a bit of repetition in parts. Even something mentioned only a page earlier is now stretched out over another page. One of my teachers in school called it "waffle." Something that may have only taken a few sentences or a couple of paragraphs now takes two pages. I understand this was probably due to word or page count but it was usually where I took a break and put the book down.

Still definitely a book I could see my self rereading again and again during hard times.

[bookventures_of_a_wildflower · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've received an e-arc via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a tough cookie because there were parts of it that I liked and appreciated and there were things that I quite disliked. The parts I disliked took away from the parts I liked.

This book reminded me of Zen:The Art of Simple Living, but it did not live up to it. The structure and small one page (on average) practices were definitely a similar vibe.

The best way to describe this book is that it is random. It honestly felt as if practices and chapters were put together on a whim, without any deeper thought into the proccess and steps of grief. There were practices that could've been in multiple chapters because there was no sharp distinction between mental- and emotional self-care.
I also did not understand the numbering of chapters and parts, while the practices themselves weren't numbered, so you didn't really know how many you've completed out of the 100.

The most annoying thing was that the practices themselves were good and easily readable and accomplishable, but their order took away from the experience. For example stretching and screaming after one another, talking about health stuff such as digestive system and planting something. The order of practices made zero sense. Also why would planting something be part of physical health rather than mental or emotional, when even the description of it sounds more like the latter?

I would suggest a reorder of the 100 practices with a more thoughtout division and also adding a couple of illustrations to help envision them and make it more positive and less dry.

My ratig is 3 stars.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this beautiful book to be very, very helpful in my own grief journey this year. The author gives excellent background information about what grief is exactly and how it affects us in many different ways, and most importantly she gives us permission to make the journey our own. Also included are many, many good and useful suggestions for caring for ourselves during a grief journey, and these include activities for our physical, mental,emotional, and spiritual health.

I found the Resources section at the back of the book useful as well as the thorough index.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book and found that it finally broke through my walls about tackling my grief. I liked the succinct summaries of different self care ideas because, to be honest, my brain often feels like mashed potatoes when I get sad, and this wasn’t overwhelming or too emotional tackle. It was just the context you need - and it made me think, oh yeah I could do some of these things! … and if you wanted to learn more, there are resources at the end of the book. The author has put thought into organizing compassionate ideas to help you deal with a seemingly impossible feeling - healing from loss.

[Potassium · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really nice resource. I love the that she talks about how self-care emerged from Black activism and Audre Lorde (would have loved to have learned more about that). I also like how self-care options are divided up into different sections.

I’m sad I got this as a library book because I want to mark this book up and label the self-care options that I have found the most useful.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just ok, nothing new that I haven't read before. Believe me, I've read a LOT of books about grief and although this one is ok, I think it would be better for the newly bereaved. I didn't read the whole book, just skimmed it.

[Ralique · Rating 3 out of 5]

mostly a list of activities that you can do

[John Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many useful methods to help one deal with grief. Some ideas were not my cup of tea but majority were very useful.