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American Homemaker
Kim Loomis is a social media star, homemaker and mortician. With her husband Norman, they’ve been bringing in a dark harvest. But death is an infrequent visitor to a small town, and when they struggle to meet demand, Kim decides there is a profitable alternative. Except Norman doesn’t want any part of his wife’s horrific plans. He wants to leave Kim, but no one leaves America’s homemaker.
It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly efficient killers, Melody is forced to accept a job from Kim. But not everything is as it seems. Kim is hiding something, a secret so terrifying there may be no way out for anyone.
It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly efficient killers, Melody is forced to accept a job from Kim. But not everything is as it seems. Kim is hiding something, a secret so terrifying there may be no way out for anyone.
415 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 24, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
August 30, 2023
Five Subversive Stars and Five Inch Louboutin Stilettos
- with Five Stars on the Heels!
Where do I begin with this book?
As my first foray into horror, I purchased it knowing the risk. I'm a squeamish sort eschewing bloodshed and had no business reading it based on reviews reporting shocking gruesomeness.
Yet, the unique premise called out to me and I was swayed by the sly, situational humor.
How could I resist a mortician housewife moonlighting in "parts"? Body segments, that is.
The dichotomy between bizarre and normal is brilliantly illustrated at a seemingly simple hen gathering. Kim the hostess, gives a cleaning tutorial. However, she’s a wolf among sheep - a depraved killer with a macabre end game.
Factor in Melody, a hit woman who accepts the wrong contract and ratchet up the violence. The plot becomes even more sinister when she becomes a target herself. Exponential chills with each turning page.
Subtle in addition to outrageous, I was braced for overt brutality but not for the disquiet in some of the stiller scenes. The interactions between Kim and her cowed husband were particularly unsettling.
This book was riveting. One of my scariest reads ever and yet I. Couldn’t. Stop. Looking.
An outlier thriller, it’s THAT book I always hope is waiting in my book stack.
I highly recommend this.
9/30/23 : I purchased and read a softcover copy a few years ago but it's now available on Kindle Unlimited.
- with Five Stars on the Heels!
Where do I begin with this book?
As my first foray into horror, I purchased it knowing the risk. I'm a squeamish sort eschewing bloodshed and had no business reading it based on reviews reporting shocking gruesomeness.
Yet, the unique premise called out to me and I was swayed by the sly, situational humor.
How could I resist a mortician housewife moonlighting in "parts"? Body segments, that is.
The dichotomy between bizarre and normal is brilliantly illustrated at a seemingly simple hen gathering. Kim the hostess, gives a cleaning tutorial. However, she’s a wolf among sheep - a depraved killer with a macabre end game.
Factor in Melody, a hit woman who accepts the wrong contract and ratchet up the violence. The plot becomes even more sinister when she becomes a target herself. Exponential chills with each turning page.
Subtle in addition to outrageous, I was braced for overt brutality but not for the disquiet in some of the stiller scenes. The interactions between Kim and her cowed husband were particularly unsettling.
This book was riveting. One of my scariest reads ever and yet I. Couldn’t. Stop. Looking.
An outlier thriller, it’s THAT book I always hope is waiting in my book stack.
I highly recommend this.
9/30/23 : I purchased and read a softcover copy a few years ago but it's now available on Kindle Unlimited.
July 10, 2019
BookishFirst gave me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was terrifying, gruesome, and insane all wrapped up together. I did not want to put this book down at all, but at some points I was either so queasy with what was happening, or I had chills and got freaked out. Definitely had to stop reading this at night. American Homemaker, you guessed it, follows a young woman who is an American Homemaker, on the outside she is a perfect wife, a perfect friend, and a social media star. From the beginning chapter you would not expect this to be a thriller at all, but with every turn of the page it gets more horrifying and darker. This book follows Kim and takes you down a terrifying path of who she really is: a psychopath.
“The mask she usually wore of wholesome goodness had slipped, and Norman was staring at a monster.”
Let me tell you this book is so weird and creepy which made me love it so much more. Melody is our other main character of the story, she is a contract killer and let me tell you, she doesn’t mind blood and the gory details will undoubtedly have your stomach upset. You wouldn’t think these two women paths would cross, but they just might.
Along the way, we get lots of side characters stories… which to me made it all the more suspenseful. Somehow, John Kraine perfectly wraps up everything that went on into a perfect plot twist of an ending. I thought I was missing pages of the book because I just could not fathom how it ended.
This was a fantastic messed up book, that deserves 5 stars. I was shocked, frightened, and had literal goosebumps throughout the whole thing. The gruesome details of how people were killed was like no other. I can’t remember a book that I have read that actually made me stop reading just to catch my breath. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed reading this.
This was terrifying, gruesome, and insane all wrapped up together. I did not want to put this book down at all, but at some points I was either so queasy with what was happening, or I had chills and got freaked out. Definitely had to stop reading this at night. American Homemaker, you guessed it, follows a young woman who is an American Homemaker, on the outside she is a perfect wife, a perfect friend, and a social media star. From the beginning chapter you would not expect this to be a thriller at all, but with every turn of the page it gets more horrifying and darker. This book follows Kim and takes you down a terrifying path of who she really is: a psychopath.
“The mask she usually wore of wholesome goodness had slipped, and Norman was staring at a monster.”
Let me tell you this book is so weird and creepy which made me love it so much more. Melody is our other main character of the story, she is a contract killer and let me tell you, she doesn’t mind blood and the gory details will undoubtedly have your stomach upset. You wouldn’t think these two women paths would cross, but they just might.
Along the way, we get lots of side characters stories… which to me made it all the more suspenseful. Somehow, John Kraine perfectly wraps up everything that went on into a perfect plot twist of an ending. I thought I was missing pages of the book because I just could not fathom how it ended.
This was a fantastic messed up book, that deserves 5 stars. I was shocked, frightened, and had literal goosebumps throughout the whole thing. The gruesome details of how people were killed was like no other. I can’t remember a book that I have read that actually made me stop reading just to catch my breath. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed reading this.
January 15, 2020
DNF. A bunch of crazy people doing bad stuff. Too many people. I couldn't follow it.
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review on Goodreads.
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review on Goodreads.
June 29, 2019
This book was very dark. It was definitely a thriller that kept me on the edge. There was also a lot of death. Do not read this book if you get squeamish. The first chapter starts out with a trio of women at a homemaker's meeting. You can tell that the women have some petty disputes and don't all like each other. In the second chapter a woman is a contract killer. One might not think that either of these chapters are connected but they are.
I did not love this book because of how horrific some of the details were. However it did keep me reading. I read this in a day because I really did want to know what happened. I do think I might have some nightmares later about it though. This was not my type of books but I could definitely see fans of Stephen King or people who like books on the darker side enjoying this.
I did not love this book because of how horrific some of the details were. However it did keep me reading. I read this in a day because I really did want to know what happened. I do think I might have some nightmares later about it though. This was not my type of books but I could definitely see fans of Stephen King or people who like books on the darker side enjoying this.
March 29, 2021
I’m not actually sure what I think about this one.
I guess I…sort of liked it?
There were parts that were very amusing and other parts that were quite heartbreaking. I did find, though, that the style of the piece wasn’t 100% right for me. It takes a very long time for two of our storylines to meet up and when they finally do, it was sort of anticlimactic. The whole ending was really. The problem is that the book kept ramping up and up and up, only to end with a bit of a whisper.
I did find the book entertaining, but didn’t end it all feeling particularly satisfied.
So…okay.
I guess I…sort of liked it?
There were parts that were very amusing and other parts that were quite heartbreaking. I did find, though, that the style of the piece wasn’t 100% right for me. It takes a very long time for two of our storylines to meet up and when they finally do, it was sort of anticlimactic. The whole ending was really. The problem is that the book kept ramping up and up and up, only to end with a bit of a whisper.
I did find the book entertaining, but didn’t end it all feeling particularly satisfied.
So…okay.
July 22, 2019
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book, but I wasn't disappointed. The way it is told in multiple point of views had my heart racing at times. On the same page, we had back-to-back point of views of the same scene. I don't think I've ever read something like that, just so unique and definitely had me at the edge of my seat!
The plot just grips you and takes you on an intense journey with insane plot twists. I didn't see quite a few of them coming, just took me by surprise.
This was a bit graphic with gory details during some scenes. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who is squeamish.
I would recommend this book to anyone that loves thrillers. John Kaine did a fantastic job with this story. I look forward to reading anything else by him.
The plot just grips you and takes you on an intense journey with insane plot twists. I didn't see quite a few of them coming, just took me by surprise.
This was a bit graphic with gory details during some scenes. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who is squeamish.
I would recommend this book to anyone that loves thrillers. John Kaine did a fantastic job with this story. I look forward to reading anything else by him.
October 23, 2019
This noir book is a little like Martha Stewart meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith! Kim and Norman are married morticians with a side business that is described as a "dark harvest." But on the surface, Kim is the all-American homemaker with Youtube videos that have all the women (but one who is out to get her) fawning over her advice how to clean microwaves and toilets. There's also a female assassin whose story ties in at the end, as well as two young neighbor boys--one who goes missing--and the other determined to find him. How do these all fit together? Kaine has crafted a creepy, yet intelligent layered plot that will keep your head spinning until the very end. Do hope there's a sequel to this as it's good, dark fun!
Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!
July 3, 2019
Let's start with the obvious; I love gruesome books. The more details about terrible, horrendous things, the more likely it is that I am going to like a book. With that said, I also have to emphasize that I like gruesome only when it is used well and not just for shock value. In the case of this book it rides that line very, very closely.
This thriller follows not one, but two female serial killers, one is a social media darling and the other, is, well, not. The thing is, Kim is really unlikable in a non intentional way. Usually the author places some sort of 'good trait' in their protagonist even when they are a crappy human but Kim, there was nothing there for me.
The twists were acceptable for a thriller but they didn't break the mold in any way for the genre (which is fine btw) but I was hoping there would just be...more nuance maybe? When I read books with serial killer leads, the draw come in two different ways; an exploration of the mind of a serial killer like Dexter, or for the serial killer to be some sort of metaphor for something with society like Hannibal. This book has so much potential but got trapped by genre and the author's expectations for a good thriller.
I would have loved to have seen some non stereotypical elements to this thriller and with the fertile bedrock of the backgrounds of our two leading ladies, there was so much potential. Maybe this author will push passed their idea of genre in their next work and show me something really phenomenal but until then, this book gets a 3 out of 5 from me.
This thriller follows not one, but two female serial killers, one is a social media darling and the other, is, well, not. The thing is, Kim is really unlikable in a non intentional way. Usually the author places some sort of 'good trait' in their protagonist even when they are a crappy human but Kim, there was nothing there for me.
The twists were acceptable for a thriller but they didn't break the mold in any way for the genre (which is fine btw) but I was hoping there would just be...more nuance maybe? When I read books with serial killer leads, the draw come in two different ways; an exploration of the mind of a serial killer like Dexter, or for the serial killer to be some sort of metaphor for something with society like Hannibal. This book has so much potential but got trapped by genre and the author's expectations for a good thriller.
I would have loved to have seen some non stereotypical elements to this thriller and with the fertile bedrock of the backgrounds of our two leading ladies, there was so much potential. Maybe this author will push passed their idea of genre in their next work and show me something really phenomenal but until then, this book gets a 3 out of 5 from me.
July 25, 2019
I received this novel for free from BookishFirst and the author in exchange for an honest review.
The first half of this book was really good. It was thrilling, and gruesome, pretty wild from the very beginning. I don't recommend if you are even a little squeamish! The characters are unlikable, but in a way that makes them intriguing. The narration was a bit stilted, but I think that is beacause you get so many POVs. The plot was great, up until about halfway through.
By the middle of the book I was so frustrated. I felt like I was reading two different books that only vaguely had anything in common. It began to feel a bit convoluted.
3 Stars. I'd still check out more from this author.
The first half of this book was really good. It was thrilling, and gruesome, pretty wild from the very beginning. I don't recommend if you are even a little squeamish! The characters are unlikable, but in a way that makes them intriguing. The narration was a bit stilted, but I think that is beacause you get so many POVs. The plot was great, up until about halfway through.
By the middle of the book I was so frustrated. I felt like I was reading two different books that only vaguely had anything in common. It began to feel a bit convoluted.
3 Stars. I'd still check out more from this author.
September 18, 2019
American Homemaker by John Kaine. With two female serial killers at the center of the book (Kim a homemaker/mortician and Melody, a hired assassin), the author skillfully depicts the contrast of strange and normal with dark humor, unique plot twists and non stop action. The story is quirky and grisly (not for the faint of heart) and it hooks you into taking an intense journey. Very entertaining read and truly something different.
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.
September 20, 2019
Desperate Housewives meets American Horror Story!
Kim Loomis: American homemaker, social media star, and mortician (alongside her husband, Norman). Unfortunately for Kim, people in her small town just aren't dying quickly enough, so she needs to get...creative.
Melody Morgan: Contract killer on the brink of retirement, or so she thinks. She mistakenly kills a cartel's money man (oops) and is dealing with the fallout.
These are very broad strokes, so as not to spoil anything. There's so much more going on throughout the story. The other members of the Homemakers Association of Vermont (Brooke, Paige, and Megan) all have their own...issues, let's call them. Are any of these women particularly likable? No, not at all, but for me at least, that didn't take away from the story.
I got an absolute kick out of this book!
(Side note: This may be because I've been watching Why Women Kill (CBS All Access) - although there is WAY more killing happening in this book than on that show. Also, if you're not watching it, why not?)
Fun, smart, and sharply written, American Homemaker has definitely earned its place among my favorite books of the year.
Thank you to the author and BookishFirst for the free copy!
This review also appears on Very Melanie!
Kim Loomis: American homemaker, social media star, and mortician (alongside her husband, Norman). Unfortunately for Kim, people in her small town just aren't dying quickly enough, so she needs to get...creative.
Melody Morgan: Contract killer on the brink of retirement, or so she thinks. She mistakenly kills a cartel's money man (oops) and is dealing with the fallout.
These are very broad strokes, so as not to spoil anything. There's so much more going on throughout the story. The other members of the Homemakers Association of Vermont (Brooke, Paige, and Megan) all have their own...issues, let's call them. Are any of these women particularly likable? No, not at all, but for me at least, that didn't take away from the story.
I got an absolute kick out of this book!
(Side note: This may be because I've been watching Why Women Kill (CBS All Access) - although there is WAY more killing happening in this book than on that show. Also, if you're not watching it, why not?)
Fun, smart, and sharply written, American Homemaker has definitely earned its place among my favorite books of the year.
Thank you to the author and BookishFirst for the free copy!
This review also appears on Very Melanie!
June 17, 2019
Fantastic thriller. I finished this book in a matter of days. I was reading another one concurrently or I would have finished sooner. The basic premise is a married couple are running a funeral home in a small town. The wife is selling “parts” off the dead bodies to make more money because there’s money in those parts and she’s, to put it bluntly, a stone cold killer. There’s a lot more money in black market organs though, so I’m sure you can see where this is going. Then a kid goes missing. Her husband is a pretty docile sort, but this is just about the last straw, goshdurnit.
The moving pieces in this story are really intricate, from the alcoholic mother of the first missing kid, the loving couple of the second missing child, who snuck (sneaked? Meh, shrug), out of his room out of guilt to find the first kid, who was his best friend. The guilt was rising from a fight they’d had right before the first kid disappeared. There’s a twin to the mortician cum black market organ seller, she’s in a psychiatric unit for taking the blame for their foster home burning to the ground after a particularly bad beating she’d endured. Oh, and the black market organ seller is a completely off the rails Martha Stewart worshipper who has a lot of “opinions” about how a home should be kept pristine and has YouTube channels and such devoted to her vocation of “homemaking.”
There’s also a side story of an assassin, a former army soldier going on in the background, which ties neatly in right at the very end of the story and I’m hoping fervently will lead to a second book. This wild ride goes all the way, literally, to the very last sentence of this book. I gasped out loud and looked at my husband and couldn’t not try to explain what the h*ll had just gone on in this book. Absolutely fantastic read. I can’t wait to get more from this author.
The moving pieces in this story are really intricate, from the alcoholic mother of the first missing kid, the loving couple of the second missing child, who snuck (sneaked? Meh, shrug), out of his room out of guilt to find the first kid, who was his best friend. The guilt was rising from a fight they’d had right before the first kid disappeared. There’s a twin to the mortician cum black market organ seller, she’s in a psychiatric unit for taking the blame for their foster home burning to the ground after a particularly bad beating she’d endured. Oh, and the black market organ seller is a completely off the rails Martha Stewart worshipper who has a lot of “opinions” about how a home should be kept pristine and has YouTube channels and such devoted to her vocation of “homemaking.”
There’s also a side story of an assassin, a former army soldier going on in the background, which ties neatly in right at the very end of the story and I’m hoping fervently will lead to a second book. This wild ride goes all the way, literally, to the very last sentence of this book. I gasped out loud and looked at my husband and couldn’t not try to explain what the h*ll had just gone on in this book. Absolutely fantastic read. I can’t wait to get more from this author.
July 25, 2019
I liked this book's plot points: the foster kid who grew up jaded but with a heart of a gold and becomes a killer; the husband and wife mortician duo who supplement their income in nefarious ways, one of which reluctantly; the teenagers who have no idea of the evil that exists in this world; and the housewives who think the sun rises and sets with their towel folds. It's a fun read, and a nice escape. Personally, I prefer very dark, haunting reads, so this book hits my sweet spot in many ways.
I loved that Kim is this famous "homemaker" despite being successfully self-employed. I love that Melody is a female assassin with a dark past, in it only for the money.
However, this book overall fails to deliver the thrills and twists it promises.
I wasn't keen on the author's style of beating the reader over the head with certain themes right away, such as Melody's softheartedness. It felt heavy-handed and condescending.
The plots go nowhere you don't expect. The book is scattered because of ALL the characters' perspectives. Way too many points of view, without any real mystery to keep you turning those pages. This story plays out like a story told by a child at an aunt's party: "and then and then and then!". The big reveal at the end was already revealed multiple times previously. I felt like I was reading a YA book instead of an adult's thriller.
Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone.
I received a free copy of this book from Bookishfirst in exchange for an honest review.
I loved that Kim is this famous "homemaker" despite being successfully self-employed. I love that Melody is a female assassin with a dark past, in it only for the money.
However, this book overall fails to deliver the thrills and twists it promises.
I wasn't keen on the author's style of beating the reader over the head with certain themes right away, such as Melody's softheartedness. It felt heavy-handed and condescending.
The plots go nowhere you don't expect. The book is scattered because of ALL the characters' perspectives. Way too many points of view, without any real mystery to keep you turning those pages. This story plays out like a story told by a child at an aunt's party: "and then and then and then!". The big reveal at the end was already revealed multiple times previously. I felt like I was reading a YA book instead of an adult's thriller.
Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone.
I received a free copy of this book from Bookishfirst in exchange for an honest review.
January 5, 2019
This book deserves all five of these ridiculously well-earned stars.
What a messed up book. And I say that with the utmost respect for what John Kaine did here. I'm not easily affected by gruesome books, but my god, my heart was hammering. I had to put it down, read a few chapters of a another book, pick it back up, take a break, go for a walk, think happy thoughts, pick it back up. It was intoxicating and addicting and I absolutely loved it.
There were a lot of characters in this book and I feel like none of them got gypped of a story line or great character development. There were also a lot of characters that I grew rather fond of and let's just say that things didn't really work out for them. And (morbid as it sounds), I think that's great. Too many thrillers just kind of work everything out at the end and sometimes, that just isn't fulfilling to the reader.
Those twists...they had me pull back, stare at my Kindle and (out loud) say "NO EFFING WAY." Bravo.
It doesn't get much better than this. I would recommend it to anyone that has a strong stomach and loves a good thriller. You know whodunnit the whole time, but you will definitely enjoy the ride.
Thank you so much to the author and Goodreads for the advanced copy.
What a messed up book. And I say that with the utmost respect for what John Kaine did here. I'm not easily affected by gruesome books, but my god, my heart was hammering. I had to put it down, read a few chapters of a another book, pick it back up, take a break, go for a walk, think happy thoughts, pick it back up. It was intoxicating and addicting and I absolutely loved it.
There were a lot of characters in this book and I feel like none of them got gypped of a story line or great character development. There were also a lot of characters that I grew rather fond of and let's just say that things didn't really work out for them. And (morbid as it sounds), I think that's great. Too many thrillers just kind of work everything out at the end and sometimes, that just isn't fulfilling to the reader.
Those twists...they had me pull back, stare at my Kindle and (out loud) say "NO EFFING WAY." Bravo.
It doesn't get much better than this. I would recommend it to anyone that has a strong stomach and loves a good thriller. You know whodunnit the whole time, but you will definitely enjoy the ride.
Thank you so much to the author and Goodreads for the advanced copy.
January 20, 2020
So, one word to describe this book is WOW! First, you have Kim, she's popular on social media and in her circles for being a perfect homemaker who has a day job as a mortician with her husband Norman. Brooke and Paige are avid followers who would do anything to be in her good graces and then there's Megan. She knows Kim isn't perfect and would love nothing more than to find out what's really going on with Kim. Kim is hiding lots of secrets. Like how she really makes so much money, since being a mortician in a small town isn't very lucrative.
Next, we have Melody. She's a contract killer. She's made a ton of money killing for hire and she also runs a laundromat (to hide behind) with her good friend, Rosa. Rosa has no clue what Melody's really up to.
Then we have a group of young friends. Corey and Evan are the two friends in the center of the group. One day, Evan goes missing and Corey does everything he can to find him.
This books seems to have 3 different stories going on, but in the end, it will all make perfect sense! It's pretty suspenseful and full of surprises! I was even shocked to find something out in the very last paragraph of the book!!
Next, we have Melody. She's a contract killer. She's made a ton of money killing for hire and she also runs a laundromat (to hide behind) with her good friend, Rosa. Rosa has no clue what Melody's really up to.
Then we have a group of young friends. Corey and Evan are the two friends in the center of the group. One day, Evan goes missing and Corey does everything he can to find him.
This books seems to have 3 different stories going on, but in the end, it will all make perfect sense! It's pretty suspenseful and full of surprises! I was even shocked to find something out in the very last paragraph of the book!!
July 8, 2019
I love thrillers. They are my favourite type of books by a mile. I love being shocked and scared and tense and even uncomfortable. But there is a line and at times, this book not only crossed the line but stomped all over it. Some of the gruesome details felt as if they were added in just for shock value, which I really don't enjoy. There has to be a reason, not just to shock the reader.
I have nothing against unlikable characters - as I keep saying, humans are imperfect. We are not all likeable and perfect all the time and so unlikable characters do not phased me. But sometimes I wasn't sure if Kim was supposed to be as unlikable as she is!
I enjoyed that this book focused on two different women serial killers and tried to break the mold for the genre, but I think there was so much more the author could have done to give us something unexpected and new. I didn't dislike this book, but I felt potential was wasted. Maybe the author's next book will push the boundaries further?
I received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I have nothing against unlikable characters - as I keep saying, humans are imperfect. We are not all likeable and perfect all the time and so unlikable characters do not phased me. But sometimes I wasn't sure if Kim was supposed to be as unlikable as she is!
I enjoyed that this book focused on two different women serial killers and tried to break the mold for the genre, but I think there was so much more the author could have done to give us something unexpected and new. I didn't dislike this book, but I felt potential was wasted. Maybe the author's next book will push the boundaries further?
I received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
November 19, 2019
American Homemaker was definitely one of those books that caught me by surprise in how good it was. Kim is our shining star, who seems to have it all, and mostly does. She’s a force to be reckoned with, but she’s hiding something. Something that could bring her world and entire “empire,” for lack of a better word, crashing down. Kim and her husband have paved their own way in the world, but falling on hard times, Kim finds a way. The trouble is, her husband wants out. But how do you leave a woman like Kim? You don’t.
Melody, our other high-profile character, has every dangerous killer out to get her, so she’s pretty much blacklisted at anywhere she can find work as an assassin. This leaves her knocking on Kim’s door to find work, because who else would you go to in a time like this?
Overall this book was a fantastic thrillers with twists and turns at every corner. This is a semi-domestic thriller, but it certainly will appeal to anyone who enjoys crime-related fiction and harrowing secrets.
Melody, our other high-profile character, has every dangerous killer out to get her, so she’s pretty much blacklisted at anywhere she can find work as an assassin. This leaves her knocking on Kim’s door to find work, because who else would you go to in a time like this?
Overall this book was a fantastic thrillers with twists and turns at every corner. This is a semi-domestic thriller, but it certainly will appeal to anyone who enjoys crime-related fiction and harrowing secrets.
May 30, 2020
Holy cow! What an unexpected and shocking psychological thriller.
Kim Loomis' goals as America's homemaker are high and she won't let anyone get in her way. As self-appointed president of the new Homemakers Association of Vermont (HAV) and social media sensation, she is taking the vocation of homemaker by storm, but not everyone trusts her sincerity. In fact, there is something sinister about a homemaker who's also a mortician.
Melody Morgan is on the verge of retirement with a sizeable nest egg, but she just needs to do a couple more jobs. However, Melody is a contract killer who murdered the wrong husband. Now her life is in danger which leads her to a shocking discovery.
There are a number of characters in this disturbing story who are slowly revealed and all connected in a mind-blowing finale. The book is full of murder and mayhem and no one is safe from a psychopath.
Thank you to Mr. Kaine and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book with no expectation of a positive review.
Kim Loomis' goals as America's homemaker are high and she won't let anyone get in her way. As self-appointed president of the new Homemakers Association of Vermont (HAV) and social media sensation, she is taking the vocation of homemaker by storm, but not everyone trusts her sincerity. In fact, there is something sinister about a homemaker who's also a mortician.
Melody Morgan is on the verge of retirement with a sizeable nest egg, but she just needs to do a couple more jobs. However, Melody is a contract killer who murdered the wrong husband. Now her life is in danger which leads her to a shocking discovery.
There are a number of characters in this disturbing story who are slowly revealed and all connected in a mind-blowing finale. The book is full of murder and mayhem and no one is safe from a psychopath.
Thank you to Mr. Kaine and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book with no expectation of a positive review.
July 10, 2019
I won this book from Bookish First.
I enjoyed this book. It is not the kind of book that you can take too seriously, because it's just so over the top. The main characters are Kim and Melody. Kim is a homemaker and mortician married to Norman, who is also a mortician. Melody is a hitwoman moonlighting as a cleaning lady.
But this book turns things on their head, because Kim is not what she seems to be, and things start going south really fast. This book moves quickly, with short chapters that keep you turning. The book also doesn't hover on boring dialogue, and there is nothing to draw you in emotionally. But that doesn't mean anything is left to the imagination; the author is just telling a story, page by page.
This book isn't going to change your life, but it's the kind of book that is just fun and doesn't require a lot of thought. It is very dark, as there are tons of people murdered and buried throughout, but if you can handle that, dig in!
I enjoyed this book. It is not the kind of book that you can take too seriously, because it's just so over the top. The main characters are Kim and Melody. Kim is a homemaker and mortician married to Norman, who is also a mortician. Melody is a hitwoman moonlighting as a cleaning lady.
But this book turns things on their head, because Kim is not what she seems to be, and things start going south really fast. This book moves quickly, with short chapters that keep you turning. The book also doesn't hover on boring dialogue, and there is nothing to draw you in emotionally. But that doesn't mean anything is left to the imagination; the author is just telling a story, page by page.
This book isn't going to change your life, but it's the kind of book that is just fun and doesn't require a lot of thought. It is very dark, as there are tons of people murdered and buried throughout, but if you can handle that, dig in!
September 8, 2019
I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this new book sent by NetGalley and author John Kaine. I mean. a husband and wife morticians who own a funeral home, sounds simple enough, right? The wife wants to be the best American Homemaker, sharing how she takes care of home and husband with other women who want to be the best homemaker they can be. On the side she is selling body parts on the black market to bring in enough money to live the lifestyle she portrays to others. Then we meet an assassin who ends up killing the money man for a Mexican drug cartel. And this is just the beginning of this wonderful, darkly humorous, twisty thriller. Add in a missing 12 year old boy with a drunken mother and his best friend who also goes missing and you have a fast paced thrill ride of a book. I can not tell you how they all end up crossing paths but I can tell you it is well worth the ride to read this. Luckily, the end leaves an opening for another chapter? I can only hope!
July 3, 2019
Okay wow I wasn't sure how much I would like this book but dam it's flipping good. Kept me in. Blurb sounded good so it drew me into it. Then I read the sample and was like oh wow okay I need more lol. I love the fact the cover is simple but it shows what the book is about. Five star book. Couldn't out it down at all. Loved it. I may end up rereading it but other than that I think others would love or like this book but I understand it's not for everyone. But I liked this book. I want more. I have a feeling that it could possibly be turned in a series or a set of books. But other than that I won't spoil the book but I will say you need to stop what your doing and grab this book asap because its really good
July 8, 2019
Wow, this book was so amazing. It would make the best scary movie. It was so dark. Talk about some messed up people in the world. The author is so gifted at bringing building a world and twisted characters. He really brought feelings out in me as I read. And I love the cover. I kept wanting it to have some supernatural creature in it, but I guess humans who are psychopaths are more scary than vampires and the like. I’m surprised all the killings went on for as long as they did without questions or discovery. The only thing I wasn’t crazy about is how it sort of ended on a cliffhanger. I’m hoping this means another book? Please. There were characters you love to hate and ones you will root for. Can’t wait to read more by this author.
January 6, 2019
There are no calories in a book. Are there? Let's hope not. For the second time in as many months I picked up a book and was unable to put it down until the last page. The author in this book manages to show that there is good and bad in all of us even the worst psychopath still has human feelings. There were so many characters that could be stand alone plots and at the end I had lost count of the number of murders. But good plot twists brought us to an ending that shows that evil still exists and will continue in the next book.
July 5, 2019
I was immediately sucked in to this story, leaving me on the edge of my seat THE ENTIRE BOOK. American Homemaker deserves EVERY SINGLE star that I'm giving it. An absolute turn-the-page and turn-your-stomach thriller with incredible plot twists. Character development was amazing - I found myself loathing Kim, Brooke and Paige, while rooting for (and crying for) Norman, Evan and Corey. So many emotions in one book!!
October 30, 2019
An absolutely stunning tale of greed and murder! Not only was the plot intelligent, but the dirty deeds by multiple hands were diabolically wicked. I read voraciously, but rarely do I feel as though (as so many readers claim) "I couldn't put it down". It was true with this book; hated to see it end, but was satisfied with the wrap-up. This is an amazing book and comes with my very high recommendation. 5+ stars!
November 17, 2019
Wow!! Incredible read!! The characters are well written and come to life instantly. The plot has so many subplots with twists and turns that you just never see anything coming and wait in the edge of your seat for every new development. This book would make a great mini series or movie!!
Thank you NetGalley and John Kaine for this advanced reader edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partners
Thank you NetGalley and John Kaine for this advanced reader edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partners
May 1, 2019
WOW!
I don't write enough reviews however I had to write one for this. Without giving any spoilers this books was amazing! By the title and summary I didn't know what to really expect! Definitely a story within a story. It has been a while since I have read a horror story this well written and for that I am grateful. You will not be disappointed.
I don't write enough reviews however I had to write one for this. Without giving any spoilers this books was amazing! By the title and summary I didn't know what to really expect! Definitely a story within a story. It has been a while since I have read a horror story this well written and for that I am grateful. You will not be disappointed.
October 11, 2019
Short Take: Finally! Proof that a messy house is a sign of a healthy psyche.
Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.
Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.
Kim Loomis Has It All. She’s a successful-enough businesswoman (in a small town like Montpelier, the three competing funeral homes only get so much business), always dressed perfectly in the latest most expensive clothes, and president of the Homemakers Association of Vermont.
The last accomplishment isn’t quite as prestigious as it sounds, as the HAV only has three other members at the moment, but Kim has big plans. Of course, with such a small group of women, a certain amount of jealousy and gossip is bound to ensue, but seriously…. How DOES Kim afford the clothes, Mercedes, and everything else with such a limited client base? The more Kim glosses over the truth of her lifestyle, the more determined club member Megan becomes to unearth her secret.
In another state (and really, another world) Melody Morgan has a thriving career, because let’s face it: As long as spouses leave crumbs on the counter and toothpaste in the sink, there will ALWAYS be a market for contract killers. She can’t exactly show off her wealth or brag about her skills, and she has to keep her social circle small, of course. After the job that was supposed to be her last Goes Horribly Wrong, Melody finds herself in the crosshairs of some very, very bad people.
And back in scenic, quaint Montpelier, a twelve year old boy has gone missing, and a whole lot of horrific long-buried truths might be exposed to the light at last.
Y’all, this one is BANANAS. For 370-ish pages, there’s an insane amount of story. We get the perspectives of not only Kim & Melody, but also the kidnapped Evan and his best friend Corey, Corey’s dad, at least one particularly murderous member of a ruthless drug cartel, and all of the ladies of the club. Virtually all of the women in this story are egocentric, obsessive, and unlikable, and not-coincidentally, tremendously entertaining.
And, my beloved nerdlings, do you really need me to tell you that twists and turns abound? Because they do, oh, do they ever. But in American Homemaker, it’s not so much about the twisty plot or crazy-sudden outbursts of violence. No, this one is all about the characters, and how bad people can do good things and vice versa, and how notions like good and bad can always be contorted into each other to the point that they don’t matter anyway. Not to mention a uniquely American strain of image-conscious sociopathy that seems to be taking over the world.
(Let me briefly interject that I seem to be immune to that one, I’m quite comfy in my slovenly skin, thank you very much, and I have zero desire to “curate” anything ever.)
There’s so much discussion to be had, so many twists within turns and ugly secrets within outward perfection that I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of a single facet of a priceless gem.
Which is why the ending was such a shock. Of course this will always be a spoiler free zone, but after spending so much tension-filled time with a main character, it was a bucket of ice water to the sensitive parts when the camera cut away from them.
To Mr. Kaine’s credit, American Homemaker doesn’t have the cash-grab sequel-setup feel that I have come to loathe, and most of the major plotlines are wrapped up in perfectly fulfilling ways, but the ambiguity of that one person’s fate still doesn’t sit quite right. The best stories leave you wanting more, but this one just left me feeling a bit deprived. Granted, it’s easy enough to imagine what happens next, but it’s just not the same.
Definitely still worth the ride though.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a bucket full of Reese’s cups, because if Walmart can start Christmas right now, I can start Halloween.)
Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.
Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.
Kim Loomis Has It All. She’s a successful-enough businesswoman (in a small town like Montpelier, the three competing funeral homes only get so much business), always dressed perfectly in the latest most expensive clothes, and president of the Homemakers Association of Vermont.
The last accomplishment isn’t quite as prestigious as it sounds, as the HAV only has three other members at the moment, but Kim has big plans. Of course, with such a small group of women, a certain amount of jealousy and gossip is bound to ensue, but seriously…. How DOES Kim afford the clothes, Mercedes, and everything else with such a limited client base? The more Kim glosses over the truth of her lifestyle, the more determined club member Megan becomes to unearth her secret.
In another state (and really, another world) Melody Morgan has a thriving career, because let’s face it: As long as spouses leave crumbs on the counter and toothpaste in the sink, there will ALWAYS be a market for contract killers. She can’t exactly show off her wealth or brag about her skills, and she has to keep her social circle small, of course. After the job that was supposed to be her last Goes Horribly Wrong, Melody finds herself in the crosshairs of some very, very bad people.
And back in scenic, quaint Montpelier, a twelve year old boy has gone missing, and a whole lot of horrific long-buried truths might be exposed to the light at last.
Y’all, this one is BANANAS. For 370-ish pages, there’s an insane amount of story. We get the perspectives of not only Kim & Melody, but also the kidnapped Evan and his best friend Corey, Corey’s dad, at least one particularly murderous member of a ruthless drug cartel, and all of the ladies of the club. Virtually all of the women in this story are egocentric, obsessive, and unlikable, and not-coincidentally, tremendously entertaining.
And, my beloved nerdlings, do you really need me to tell you that twists and turns abound? Because they do, oh, do they ever. But in American Homemaker, it’s not so much about the twisty plot or crazy-sudden outbursts of violence. No, this one is all about the characters, and how bad people can do good things and vice versa, and how notions like good and bad can always be contorted into each other to the point that they don’t matter anyway. Not to mention a uniquely American strain of image-conscious sociopathy that seems to be taking over the world.
(Let me briefly interject that I seem to be immune to that one, I’m quite comfy in my slovenly skin, thank you very much, and I have zero desire to “curate” anything ever.)
There’s so much discussion to be had, so many twists within turns and ugly secrets within outward perfection that I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of a single facet of a priceless gem.
Which is why the ending was such a shock. Of course this will always be a spoiler free zone, but after spending so much tension-filled time with a main character, it was a bucket of ice water to the sensitive parts when the camera cut away from them.
To Mr. Kaine’s credit, American Homemaker doesn’t have the cash-grab sequel-setup feel that I have come to loathe, and most of the major plotlines are wrapped up in perfectly fulfilling ways, but the ambiguity of that one person’s fate still doesn’t sit quite right. The best stories leave you wanting more, but this one just left me feeling a bit deprived. Granted, it’s easy enough to imagine what happens next, but it’s just not the same.
Definitely still worth the ride though.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a bucket full of Reese’s cups, because if Walmart can start Christmas right now, I can start Halloween.)
July 7, 2019
Kim Loomis is a psychopath. On the exterior she is poised and wholesome. She makes it her mission to elevate American Homemakers everywhere. She holds meetings at her home for a select few, where she presides over topics of discussion such as the best way to clean your bathtub beneath a mammoth gilt-framed portrait of Martha Stewart, wearing her best designer dresses. But Kim is dark and terrible. She has secrets that would make the rest of us run in terror, but to Kim, she's just doing what needs to be done to maintain the lifestyle she wants to live.
My biggest problem with the story was that the blurb seems to imply that the story is primarily going to be a showdown between contract killer Melody, and Kim Loomis. If this had been the focus of the story, Melody accepting a job then starting to doubt Kim, then the two of them playing cat-and-mouse as Melody discovers Kim's horrible truth, I think this could have been a much better story. Unfortunately, Kim and Melody do not even cross paths until probably 90% of the way through the book. I liked Melody, and it would have been exciting to see Melody going off the deep end after finding out she'd been duped by Kim and ultimately seeking redemption prior to her retirement by taking Kim down. There was just so much more that could have happened here. But it didn't.
It is fast-paced, it is certainly a thriller and a page-turner. The characters are quite well-written, from the psychos to the side characters. Kaine definitely has a gift for writing. But if you're expecting to see your typical easy-going killer-for-hire go rogue or the bad guys meeting even badder guys and cleaning house, it's just not that kind of story. I was surprised at how many people died with no ramifications.
Usually I'm all for a dark book from time to time, but I enjoy my dark tales with splashes of wit and dark humor. There's no humor here. Just dark. And gory. There aren't really any fabulous plot twists either. Just a straightforward who's-going-to-make-it-out-alive horror story. (And the answer is, um, not many)
If you like a fast-paced horror read, you'll love it. There's quite a bit of gore as far as descriptions of people meeting their doom, some language, and some implied sexual content but nothing descriptive.
It does end with quite the cliffhanger, not sure if there will be another book or if you're just left to wonder.
My biggest problem with the story was that the blurb seems to imply that the story is primarily going to be a showdown between contract killer Melody, and Kim Loomis. If this had been the focus of the story, Melody accepting a job then starting to doubt Kim, then the two of them playing cat-and-mouse as Melody discovers Kim's horrible truth, I think this could have been a much better story. Unfortunately, Kim and Melody do not even cross paths until probably 90% of the way through the book. I liked Melody, and it would have been exciting to see Melody going off the deep end after finding out she'd been duped by Kim and ultimately seeking redemption prior to her retirement by taking Kim down. There was just so much more that could have happened here. But it didn't.
It is fast-paced, it is certainly a thriller and a page-turner. The characters are quite well-written, from the psychos to the side characters. Kaine definitely has a gift for writing. But if you're expecting to see your typical easy-going killer-for-hire go rogue or the bad guys meeting even badder guys and cleaning house, it's just not that kind of story. I was surprised at how many people died with no ramifications.
Usually I'm all for a dark book from time to time, but I enjoy my dark tales with splashes of wit and dark humor. There's no humor here. Just dark. And gory. There aren't really any fabulous plot twists either. Just a straightforward who's-going-to-make-it-out-alive horror story. (And the answer is, um, not many)
If you like a fast-paced horror read, you'll love it. There's quite a bit of gore as far as descriptions of people meeting their doom, some language, and some implied sexual content but nothing descriptive.
It does end with quite the cliffhanger, not sure if there will be another book or if you're just left to wonder.
July 16, 2019
Stepford wives Meet C.S.I. It is readily apparent that the women who have gathered together in the book’s opening scene are more competitive than friendly, and their façade of perfection goes downhill quickly from there. Think Stepford Wivesmeets C.S.I.or American Greed television show. Part of what makes this thriller mystery so scary is the true investigative reports of the black market for human organs and tissue. This book is also realistic in the various issues- social media stars, foster homes, an alcoholic mother, drug cartels, and serial killers.
Kim, a social media- star influencer, is not very likeable and continues to be even less so as the story progresses. In fact, a reader will be challenged to find any likeable character in this book. If you are easily upset by murder and gory details, then this book is not the one for you. Kim Loomis uses her business as a mortician for illegal gain and even seeks help from another evil female named Melody, a gun-for-hire who gains entry to people’s homes with her day job of cleaning houses. At times, the double lives of these characters seem more like a joke or parody of evil crime stories, but the same can be said about some of the unbelievable crimes reported in newspapers and magazines and television shows
The short chapters make this book very easy to read, and the book definitely kept my interest; at the same time, it’s not a book that I would tell my friends they can’t miss. I appreciate the opportunity to have an ARC from Bookish. This is my honest review in exchange for that advanced copy.
Kim, a social media- star influencer, is not very likeable and continues to be even less so as the story progresses. In fact, a reader will be challenged to find any likeable character in this book. If you are easily upset by murder and gory details, then this book is not the one for you. Kim Loomis uses her business as a mortician for illegal gain and even seeks help from another evil female named Melody, a gun-for-hire who gains entry to people’s homes with her day job of cleaning houses. At times, the double lives of these characters seem more like a joke or parody of evil crime stories, but the same can be said about some of the unbelievable crimes reported in newspapers and magazines and television shows
The short chapters make this book very easy to read, and the book definitely kept my interest; at the same time, it’s not a book that I would tell my friends they can’t miss. I appreciate the opportunity to have an ARC from Bookish. This is my honest review in exchange for that advanced copy.
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