Allies: Real Talk About Showing Up, Screwing Up, And Trying Again

by Shakirah Bourne (Editor), Dana Alison Levy (Editor), I.W. Gregorio

This book is for everyone. Because we can all be allies.

As an ally, you use your power—no matter how big or small—to support others. You learn, and try, and mess up, and try harder. In this collection of true stories, 17 critically acclaimed and bestselling YA authors get real about being an ally, needing an ally, and showing up for friends and strangers. 

From raw stories of racism and invisible disability to powerful moments of passing the mic, these authors share their truths. They invite you to think about your own experiences and choices and how to be a better ally.

There are no easy answers, but this book helps you ask better questions. Self-reflection prompts, resources, journaling ideas, and further reading suggestions help you find out what you can do. Because we’re all in this together. And we all need allies. 

A portion of the proceeds from this book goes to supporting charities. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, LGBT, Social Justice, Feminism, Disability, Anthologies

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2021

Reviews

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS DAMN BOOK!!!!

DAMN!!!!

I loved every single one of the essays and I took something from them.

The book tackles issues that are well known, but also issues that aren't discussed a lot. So this book is
just the start of a journey, to dive deeper into these issues and see how you can help and support.

Additionally I love that this book offers so many rescources at the end. So after finishing the book, you can dive deeper into these issues and have places, that you know are legit and do actually good for the communities.

I CAN'T RECOMMEND THIS BOOK HIGHLY ENOUGH.

I also started going through the authors and put a lot of their books on my tbr.

[Jade · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

This anthology was a bit middle of the road for me. There were a few entries that I really liked and felt that they went above the basic primer/101 of intersectional allyship, but overall I felt that the majority of the pieces were very surface level. I think that this collection is more geared towards those just starting to come in to their activism and acknowledgement of their privilege, but not really for those who are looking for more nuanced texts.

Still I think guides, texts, and collections like this are really great to have because no matter where you are in your understanding of privilege and being an ally it is great that awareness is there; and that you are trying to work on being a more informed and active member in fighting against white supremacy, while also learning how to do that without talking over people of color and the other voices you are trying to stand with. So overall I think this is a nice place to start but those who are wanting a more nuanced and layered text may want to look somewhere else.

ARC given by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

[Ocean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is extremely powerful and educational. A must-read for anyone who wishes to be a better ally to marginalised communities.

[Alex Nonymous · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of Allies: Real Talk About Showing Up, Screwing Up, and Trying Again in exchange for an honest review.

This was really well done. Allies takes a very conversational approach to teaching about allyship in all of its essays which means it both more easily consumable and more impactful while also being able to teach it's audience more about the many facets, complexities, and ways they can be an ally. All the essays in this are distinctively important and add more to the collection and while it'd be impossible to make a perfect guide on allyship, this one comes pretty close.

[danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think everyone should read this book

[Cait · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger Warnings: Racism, homophobia, ableism, car crash (mention), surgery (mention), bullying, sexism, rape culture, systemic racism, interanlized racism, slavery and segeration, Islamophobia, chronic illness, medical trauma, child abuse and disownment (mention), illness and death of family friend (mention), colorism, colonialism

[Nicole (bookwyrm) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a series of essays featuring personal experiences with allyship: times the authors were allies, times when they needed allies, and times when they had to learn they were not even trying to be allies and needed to do better. I really appreciated that it covers so many different areas of minority. Allies are needed to combat so many injustices... racism, misogyny, ableism, and bigotry against LGBTQIA+ people, to name the most common.

There is something for everyone here, whatever your background. It is aimed at a teen audience, but I think that just makes it more accessible to adults who may not want to read the hard truths about the way the world is skewed. Intersectionality is mentioned a couple times as well, and though it's not gone into in as much detail as some of the other issues, I appreciate that the book starts off by acknowledging that all of us can be discriminated against in some ways, and privileged in others. I wish books like this had been common when I was a teen. I found this book by walking past an end-cap display at my local library; I don't remember seeing anything remotely like it when I was a teenager haunting the library shelves.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

"Dana's Absolutely Perfect Fail-Safe No Mistakes Guaranteed Way to be an Ally" by Dana Alison Levy- Such a great introduction to the collection. I liked how the author went through and explained an ally and allyship.

"An Open Letter to the Young Black Queer" by Cam Montogmery- Such an insightful essay into growing up black and queer in today's society. Very interesting commentary included in this one as well.

"Hey Kid, Choose Your Battles" by Eric Smith- As a child who was bullied in middle school, I could relate to the message in this essay. I have heard the line choose your battles a lot.

"Round and Round We Go" by Kayla Whaley- Some interesting commentary on living in this world with a disability.

"This is What it Feels Like" by A.J. Sass- What a wonderful essay from this author and how they came to accept their sexuality and themselves.

"A Bus, a Poster, and a Mirror" by Brendan Kiely- An interesting take on bullying from someone who used to be a bully.

"Travel Logs of a Black Caribbean Woman: Embracing the Glitches" by Shakirah Bourne- Such an insightful essay about racism and comparison to the matrix.

"Stutter Buddy" by Derick Brooks- I especially loved the inclusion of the comic with this essay.

"The Unsafe Space" by Adiba Jaigirdar- An author that has a 2022 release I really want to read. I loved her essay and the commentary she included.

"Dismantling Judgement" by Lizzie Huxley-Jones- I loved this essay.

"Why Didn't Anyone Else Say Anything?" by Naomi and Natalie Evans- I really liked this essay and the discussion that was had about why do people never say anything when they witness racist behavior.

"From Author, to Ally, to Co-conspirator" by I.W. Gregorio- Such a wonderful essay.

"Lupe" by Aida Salazar- Really thought provoking essay.

"Did You Know Gandhi was Racist?" by Sharah Dhaliwal- Another great essay about racism and the way the world is today.

"Lifting as She Climbs" by Andrea L. Rogers- What a great and insightful essay.

"Counting on Esteban" by Marietta B. Zacker- Such a great end to the collection. I loved the way that the author talked about finding an ally at such a young age.

I really loved this essay collection. I think that it really is something that needs to be read throughout the country and world. There are some great impactful and insightful things in this collection and important things that need to be said.

[agata · Rating 5 out of 5]

Allies is an incredible collection of essays focusing on allyship, written by YA authors. The stories these authors share are personal and varied, just like their experiences: some essays are about the allyship they extended towards other people, some were about how they received help and support from other people and what it meant for them. Some, and I personally think those were the most important, were about failing as an ally. There is a big emphasis on the fact that everyone will make mistakes even if they mean well and I believe it’s a crucial fact that needs to be talked about, because the fear of failing often stops people from doing the right thing. The essays show the ways some authors failed, but then improved, how they managed to learn and move on from missteps.

The book is addressed to younger people and teenagers, so the language is easy to follow and all the used terms are explained in a digestible way. I loved the resources at the end of the book! The self reflection prompts made the experience of reading the essays more introspective and reflective, and the book list helped me add several titles to my TBR pile.

Allies is such an important book in today’s world. Although many of the things explained in it are probably already known to people who consider themselves allies, it’s a great starting point for the younger generations. It’s also a quick and amazing refresher course for all of us, no matter our age or experience, because allyship is a lifelong work which requires constant learning.

[Lauren Sieben · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great collection of short stories on how to be a better Ally and how to show up for people. I would definitely recommend it for those that want to help but are afraid of hindering. There’s a lot of great resources and conversations in this book to help guide.

[BiblioBickie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several essays in this collection could be used in English, History, or Enrichment classes. There is something for nearly everyone, with most of the essays being helpful for people both sharing identities with the author and not. Designs along the bottom of the page change with each story, making it easy to find when one stops and the next one starts.

Dana's Absolutely Perfect Fail-Safe No Mistakes Guaranteed Way to Be an Ally by Dana Alison Levy - a conversational introduction to the concept of allyship including anecdotes about the author's attempts and sometimes failures with the message that you just need to keep trying and learning and trying again.

An Open Letter to the Young Black Queer by Cam Montgomery - Cam describes discovering labels for what she was feeling, opening up to being "queer" in college after attending Baptist Christian school and growing up in a Black family where LGBTQ+ people and issues were simply not discussed.

Hey Kid, Choose Your Battles by Eric Smith - Smith, a "Latinx/Middle Eastern kid adopted by a white family," describes being bullied in school, not understanding why, and how his friends helped him embrace his identity.

Round and Round We Go by Kayla Whaley - Whaley grew up participating in Muscular Dystrophy Association telethons as one of "Jerry's Kids." She discusses the complexity of being used for getting watchers to donate money while also benefiting from the experience, not just for the work done by the MDA but also for the social aspect of seeing friends at the annual telethon. She concludes that, "it's only when we come together with our personhood intact on both sides that true allyship is possible."

This is What it Feels Like by A.J. Sass - Non-binary Sass recounts the year they came out with their chosen name and how different friends' comments and allyship helped him feel more comfortable in public and in the men's locker room at the gym. Told in sections labeled fall, winter, spring, summer, and a year, at the end, Sass fast-forwards two years, five years, six years, eight years, ending with "A year might not feel like a long time, but years add up. Every single one has brought me closer to the person I am now."

A Bus, a Poster, and a Mirror by Brendan Kiely - White, Catholic Kiely begins with an incident from 7th grade when he participated in bullying a classmate he refers to as "Z" and Colin, "one of the most popular guys in our grade," stood up for Z, telling Kiely, "it's not funny...how do you think he feels? ... and you're an @$^%, Brendan." He continues to discuss being at an "all-boys Catholic high school" and being uncomfortable with discussions about girls "as though the person didn't exist--only the body did." This experience taught him about complicity, and how "doing nothing is a behavior," too. He encourages readers to "take a good look in the mirror and decide" who they will be.

Travel Logs of a Black Caribbean Woman: Embracing the Glitches" by Shakirah Bourne - Bourne compares moving from ignorance to awareness with regard to racism to Neo's awakening to the Matrix after experiencing "glitches." "Beware, the agents that protect systemic racism in the real world may be operated by your sweet old neighbor who bakes you cookies, a beloved family member, or your closest friend. And allies can be those who you least expect..." She shares anecdotes from Barbados (1997 and 2004), Edinburgh, Scotland (2010 and 2011), Philadelphia (2012), New York (2012), and then Barbados in 2020.

Stutter Buddy by Derick Brooks - A brief comic describing how talking can be like walking through a maze, and how for people who stutter, it can be like walking right into an invisible barrier. Brooks concludes with "it's worth the wait" for the person talking to make their way around the barrier.

The Unsafe Space by Adiba Jaigirdar - Jaigirdar, a Muslim woman who moved from her native Bangladesh to Dublin at age 10, describes her experience creating a website, magazine, and podcast with three white college friends that would "be inclusive of minority voices who are often unheard in popular media." Time and again, her voice was spoken over, and "even in what was supposed to be a 'safe space,' and 'feminist space,' women like me were just a point of discussion rather than reality." Complicated issues such as Moana as Disney princess with no love interest, Muslim veiling written about by a white non-Muslim woman, Gal Gadot's activism as an Israeli, and white tears feature.

Dismantling Judgment by Lizzie Huxley-Jones - Huxley-Jones describes her experiences having seizures in public and "The Look," the moment that a person looks at you, sees something they think is strange, and so turn themselves away. It lightning-flashes over their features." Huxley-Jones also talks about "quiet" signs of disability and how to spot them in order to take ally behavior, such as offering a seat to someone on a crowded bus or train car. She provides advice for how to "dismantle that instinctive judgment and grow your compassion if you didn't grow up surrounded by disabled people:...accept that you probably know less about their experiences than you think you do, ...start listening, ... [and] practicing catching your judgmental brain making an assumption, and interrogating it." Each suggestion is accompanied with explanation.

"Why Didn't Anyone Else Say Anything? by Naomi and Natalie Evans - Told in alternating points of view with subheadings "Natalie" and "Naomi," the authors (children of a Black Jamaican and white Briton) focus their story around an incident when Natalie, on a train from London to a small town in Kent, witnessed two white drunk men refusing to provide tickets to the conductor, a Black man, culminating in one of their asking him, "'Did you get a f***ing passport to get into the country?'" Natalie had felt something off with the interaction and started filming it on her phone from the near beginning, and she finally decided she needed to say something. Both sisters asked, as they often did after a racist encounter, "Why didn't anyone else say anything?" Natalie discusses some of the racist incidents in her past, in which people who could have been allies, such as a teacher, weren't. They started Everyday Racism, UK, to draw attention to the fact that racism is not "a thing of the past."

From Author, to Ally, to Co-Conspirator by I. W. Gregorio - Dr. Gregorio is a urologist and author, who describes her experience with being an ally to the intersex community. In her essay, she provides information about intersex people, medical paternalism, and non-consensual surgeries. She also discusses the complexities of being a non-intersex person who wrote a novel about an intersex character which increased visibility but also might not have been her story to tell. Gregorio plugs Sol Santana's Just Ash as an #Own Voices book with an intersex main character. Gregorio knows that she's finally moved from ally to "co-conspirator" "because by fighting for what I believe in, I've pissed off many of my doctor friends and colleagues, possibly to the point of damaging my professional reputation."

Lupe by Aida Salazar - Salazar describes how her mother, a "very Catholic, very straight, and cis gender traditional Mexican woman surrounded herself" with many gay male friends. Salazar grew up with these friends in her family's Los Angeles-area home, performing drag shows. One of these men was a close friend from Mami's childhood in the "same pueblo in Mexico," Lupe, whose family disowned him, "beat him and even sent him to jail ... simply for being gay." Lupe and Mami were like family, and both fully supported Aida when she began presenting herself in a more masculine manner at age 6-7. In 5th grade, Aida kissed a girl, then they both washed their mouths out with soap in the girls' bathroom, and she "buried my feelings of bisexuality and my boyish gender expression down deep." Around the same time, Lupe and several friends arrived at the house after having been beaten up, and she learned "the world was actually cruel to folks whose genders or gender expressions were fluid or who were queer in any way." When Lupe contracted AIDS, Mami steadfastly stayed by his side, giving "him sponge baths, chang[ing] his bedsheets and began, and spoon-fe[eding] him," defending him "against anyone who dared speak poorly of him."

Did You Know Gandhi Was a Racist? by Sharan Dhaliwal - Using an incident where a white friend came roaring in to a coffee shop rendezvous asking her the title question, Dhaliwal, a "British Indian woman," meditates on the anti-Black racism and colorism in her South Asian culture and how exhausting it can be to have educational discussions with (primarily white) people when she really just wanted to catch up on gossip.

Lifting as She Climbs by Andrea L. Rogers - Rogers, a "citizen of the Cherokee Nation," discusses Native representation (and historical lack thereof as well as misrepresentation) in children's book publishing as well as its impact on young children such as her daughter. Recognizing that perhaps she should write stories she wants to see, Rogers attends a white-led writer's workshop and goes with a white author to a conference, where she feels isolated as an outsider. Things change when she attends a children's literature conference sponsored by Kweli Journal, led by an African American woman, Laura Pegram. Surrounded by other authors of color, Rogers found "the space and the support to find a nurture a writing community."

Counting on Esteban by Marietta B. Zacker - Freshly arrived in the United States from Puerto Rico in a January of elementary school, Marietta struggles to learn English, watching Sesame Street with her abuelo, and taking refuge in numbers, counting everything. One day, Esteban sits next to her on the bench where she waits for her sister every day after school. Although he does not speak fluent Spanish, he pronounces her name "as it was meant to be said...as beautiful as the sound of the ocean waves on the shores in Puerto Rico." They become friends, and when she says "three" like "tree," a student appears out of nowhere, saying "'It's three, not tree. You're in America now, and you have to speak English, Mary.' Then a forceful pull of my ponytail jerked my head backward, throwing me to the ground." Esteban yells, "'It's Marietta, imbécil.'" Zacker talks about how it was easy for Esteban to sit on the bench next to her an say hi, and it was harder for him to stand up to the bullies, but he did it, and it made all the difference.

Includes content warning at the beginning and, at the end, robust listings of "Stuff to think about, further reading, and more resources" Also includes blurbs about the authors and acknowledgements in the form of text bubbles exchanged between editors Bourney and Levy.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Allies is a collection of essays and experiences of people from different groups in society who are often considered as “Others” aka, everyone who isn’t a straight, white, cis person.

It discusses privilege, and what you can do with yours.

Telling stories of their experiences of allyship - being allies, needing them, and failing to be one - and learning from it.

This was a great, yet harrowing anthology that has made me want to step up, and speak up at injustices facing many in the world today.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every one of these essays was an insightful, personal look at how allies can exist for many different communities. The variety of voices, the intersectionality, and the shared feelings of support and frustration from others was important to read. Some stories were close to me, and others provided exactly what I needed, a doorway to examining something that hadn't been overturned before.

[Erica (Cheekymama2) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved reading the different stories and ideas on how we can be allies. I’m going to keep this on my end table and pick up from time to time to read a story again as I still have so much to learn. Everyone can learn from this book!

[Kareena · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fabulous resource for teens.

[Sarah Relyea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. So many different life experiences to hear about first hand. These essays are a great start to learning more about what others go through and that it's important to speak up, step in and be there for our fellow humans!

[Ren (A Bookish Balance) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Average rating: 3.875/5 stars

[Eloise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This compilation of essays by 17 YA authors helped me to understand many different points of view in today's complex world.

[Kinsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book, but as far as writing on social justice goes this was nothing ground breaking. It would be a great starting place for someone that is younger or older that's just beginning to learn about the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community and how to be an ally.
Some quotes I liked:

"Being an ally means that when you screw up (and you will), you apologize and do better...but you don't insist on forgiveness, or try to make the other person process it with you, or beat yourself up so badly that it suddenly becomes their job to reassure you" (pg. 14)

"we vote with our wallets and our time way more often than we ever get to vote in elections" (pg. 16)

"I read more nonfiction than I used to, trying to fill the gaps in my knowledge left by a white supremacist education system." (pg. 17)

Instead of calling out: "calling in offers someone a bridge back from their mistake, and is done with an assumption of good faith. It's saying: 'you might not have known this, so I am telling you. And now that you know, you can do better.'" (pg. 21)

"...to be so inside of you that you cannot fathom any other way to be." (pg. 33)

"When you're younger, there's this burning desire to promise yourself that one day, you'll get back at those who wronged you. Even as a writer, you joke that you'll name people after the folks that caused you pain. But as the years pass, so does that want.
It's called growth, and I want that for you." (pg. 38)

"how do you teach someone to navigate the complexities of unjustified hatred when it's not a part of their personal, lived experience?" (pg. 41)

"Doing nothing is a behavior." (pg. 86)

"If we didn't act against that culture of misogyny, we were that culture of misogyny." (pg. 87)

"an ally has to do constant self-interrogation because it's hard to correct a bias that you don't know exists." (pg. 101)

"'justice is what love looks like in public.'" (pg. 201)

"Allyship is not for the selfish." (pg. 201)

"the problem was their outlook, not my presence in our shared world." (pg. 212)



Recommended books:
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- How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
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- A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn
A People's History of the United States

- Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum
Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

- March Trilogy by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin, and Nate Powell
March

- When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele
When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir

- Good Talk by Mira Jacob
Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

- How We Fight For Our Lives by Saeed Jones
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- Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin
Beyond Magenta: Transgender and Nonbinary Teens Speak Out

- A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski and Richie Chevat
A Queer History of the United States for Young People

- She/He/Me/They: For the Sisters, Misters, and Nonbinary Resisters by Robyn Ryle
She/He/They/Me: An Interactive Guide to the Gender Binary

- See No Color by Shannon Gibney
See No Color

- All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
All You Can Ever Know

- A Proper Young Lady by Lianne Simon
A Proper Young Lady

- Just Ash by Sol Santana
Just Ash

- Born Both by Hida Viloria
Born Both: An Intersex Life

- Contesting Intersex: The Dubious Diagnosis by Georgiann Davis
Contesting Intersex: The Dubious Diagnosis

- Raising Rosie by Eric and Stephani Lohman
Raising Rosie: Our Story of Parenting an Intersex Child

- XOXY by Kimberly Zieselman
XOXY, A Memoir: Intersex Woman, Mother, Activist

-Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, edited by Alice Wong
Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-first Century

- New Kid by Jerry Craft
New Kid

- Two Sisters: A Story of Freedom by Kereen Getten
Voices 6: Two Sisters: A Story of Freedom

- Windrush Child by Benjamin Zephaniah
Windrush Child

- Black and British: A Short, Essential History by David Olusoga
Black and British: A Forgotten History

- Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You: A Remix by Ibram X. Kendi and Jason Reynolds

- This Book is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons On How to Wake Up, Take Action, and Do the Work by Tiffany Jewell and Aurelia Durand
This Book Is Antiracist

- Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People ABout Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge
Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race

[AJ Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

Allies is a group of essays that provide insight on how to be... well you guessed it, an ally. An ally for marginalized groups who face oppression, intentionally or not. There are 16 essays that were created by 17 people, the vast majority being YA authors. There was also an author who is a doctor, some are bloggers, and then there was an artist (one of my favorite entries), but yeah, all have ties to YA material.

So let me get this out of the way - I'm not the biggest fan of the Young Adult subgenre. I call it a genre when I know it's more of a marketing tool, but that's another conversation for another day. Most of my nitpicks are tied with that statement. With that being said, I enjoyed every single one of the essays and the message being portrayed. The only detractors for me had nothing to do with the messages within the stories.

My first nitpick, which gradually went away, is that the first few essays felt a bit too... young. The writing felt a little cringy and I realized that maybe I wasn't the target audience when it came down to the writing style. There was just a lot of slang and '!!!' and capitalizations to accentuate some words. It just made me feel old and I'm not even thirty yet. This simmered down pretty quickly though.

Second nitpick and one that I probably won't explain properly - there was just one essay, in particular, that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It absolutely had nothing to do with the message. It was more the execution. The way I interpreted it was that the author was trying to provide a positive message, but the point before it was stated was grounded in negativity. I thought that was going to turn around with some sort of uplifting message, but then it never did. Maybe I just read it wrong. I know that's vague, but that's because I don't want to mention which specific story it was. What I find captivating though is that it's going to be an essay that I linger on and continue to think about. Because again, maybe I'm just interpreting it in the wrong way. It is stated at the beginning that none of this is simple and we are all learning along the way.

Since the book consists of 17 authors, there was no way I was going to love all the different writing styles. I would say that I really enjoyed the writing in about 83 percent of the book. But there were some entries where the writing was a little boring and didn't keep me as engaged as I wanted to be. But with how many stories there were, I appreciate that the writing was solid in most essays.

And finally, my last and probably biggest issue with the book (and probably the pettiest) - the design choice to put highlighted quotes in bubbles on every other page. I was just so annoyed because there would be a really good statement, but then right after reading the statement, the highlighted quote would immediately follow. Why? I just read that...

Why? I just read that...

See? Annoying. But the biggest offender was towards the end. One of the authors was talking about something along the lines of feeling like they didn't belong in a certain space and how bad they felt. Right after it's stated, there's a bubbled quote saying the complete opposite, which threw me off. That quote didn't appear until the end of the next page... it kind of detracted from the moment. It made me feel like the editors didn't trust the readers would pick up on key segments of the stories.

Now I feel guilty for laying out all my negatives. But maybe it'll make non-existent readers of this review realize that there are little to no issues with the book. Because yeah, this all just comes down to personal taste. The most important thing though is that I feel like every essay has merit and a great message that everyone needs to hear. Below will be some standout essays that I absolutely loved.

Hey Kid, Choose Your Battles
This Is What It Feels Like
A Bus, a Poster, and a Mirror
Travel Logs of a Black Caribbean Woman: Embracing the Glitches
Stutter Buddy *
"Why Didn't Anyone Else Say Anything?"
Lupe *
Counting on Esteban *

* probably my favorites and the ones that hit me the hardest.

[Mihai-Andrei · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,7/5

[Trigger Warning Database]

Trigger & Content Warnings

Racism & colorism
Islamophobia
Ableism
Misogyny
Classism
Queerphobia & queermisic slurs
Intermisia
Coming out
Sexual assault
Domestic abuse
HIV & AIDs
Bullying

[A.J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I contributed an essay to this anthology. My review is based off a physical ARC of the US version that I received as a result of my participation.

I really can't say enough about how incredible this anthology is and what a great job editors Dana Alison Levy and Shakirah Bourne did in curating a diverse array of experiences. There are essays about racism, transracial adoption, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, colonialism, feminism, and so much more. This wasn't always the easiest read, nor did I expect it to be. Many of the essays forced me to think about my own privilege and how I can use it to advocate for and uplift the voices of others.

It's a ton of food for thought, but of the very best variety. Because ultimately, the tone of these essays is encouraging. They invite in rather than make accusations. Whether you've considered yourself an ally for years or are interested in learning how to become an ally to friends or strangers, this collection will give you a good place to start. It also includes prompts and resources in the backmatter so you can continue learning and advocating long after you finish reading this much needed collection.

ALLIES is available in the UK on July 29, 2021 and in the US on September 14, 2021. A portion of the proceeds from sales goes to The Black Curriculum in the UK and We Need Diverse Books in the US.

[Ruvini · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re new to the world of nonfiction/ essay collections and you’re looking for a gentle introduction to it, this is the book for you.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great resource for learning how to be a better ally to many different marginalized groups. The essays are all interesting and conversational, and touch on so many different topics of allyship.

[kory. · Rating 3 out of 5]

a good, diverse anthology that touches on a lot of topics and starts a lot of important conversations. i think it will be most helpful for people just getting into activism and allyship.

content/trigger warnings; overall discussions about racism, anti-blackness, colorism, islamophobia, ableism, classism, queerphobia, coming out, bullying, violence, misogyny, sexual assault, domestic abuse, medical abuse, interphobia, d slur, hiv,

the second essay touches on the author discovering pansexuality and i just. i’m emo. i’ve seen this story so many times, but seeing it in a book is so!!!

“Pansexual. Hearing it was one thing. Understanding it was like coming home. My world opened up its mouth wide, swallowed me whole. Everything clicked. Everything, all of it.” and “The very definition of the term ‘pansexual’ is what then helped me realize all the ridiculousness of the gender binary. That same day, when I grabbed ‘Pansexual’ as a label and said ‘this is mine now’ was the same day I discovered non-binary as an option for me, too.”

and the author nicely explained the bi/pan confusion. “Pansexual, on occasion, gets tossed in with ‘bisexual.’ And though the two are similar, they are not the same. They simply share space. Bisexual is the attraction to two or more genders. Meaning multiple. And not necessarily male and female exclusively. There are many genders and this all includes those who ID as non-binary, meaning neither male nor female. So, bisexuality simply means the choice of two or more. Pansexuality swings a little differently. Pansexual means that I share an attraction to any and all genders. The difference? Multiple is not the same as all.”

one note i have is about how one of the essays (written by the author of “none of the above” which i hated) is about how that book wasn’t their story to tell and they need to know when to listen to others instead of speaking for them, especially considering the author is a doctor and intersex people have had “doctors speak for them for too long”, yet here they are again? speaking on intersex issues? while not being intersex? i get that this is a “learning” type essay about allyship, but wouldn’t it have been better and more inclusive and insightful or helpful to have an intersex author speak on intersex issues and how to be a better ally to intersex folks? it’s just kind of....ironic, the choice that was made here.

[Rebecca Parten · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Allies: Real Talk About Showing Up, Screwing Up, And Trying Again” by Shakirah Bourne and Dana Alison Levy is a welcome addition to the expanding space surrounding how to be an ally. Through the lens of 16 the different pieces numerous issues were explored. Things such as race, gender identity, disability. Each piece was told in an authentic way that posed important questions for readers to reflect upon. While it may be presented as a book for Young Adults, I think that it serves as a great introduction for teens (high school) and adults of all ages on what allyship is all about.

I appreciated the fact that one of the first pieces emphasized that it’s ok “start small” - that being an ally doesn’t mean you HAVE to attend large rallies or protests or completely change up your routine. It is more about noticing the little things you can do in your everyday life to be there for others. Another piece talked about how being an ally sometimes means *not* doing something - not speaking for others. Instead, it’s about giving people the space to share their experiences. Their stories.

As a white, cis, heterosexual disabled woman at first I wasn’t sure how much I’d relate to some of the experiences described in this book. And to be fair, I can’t say that I 100% do relate to every experience because that would be disingenuous. But, i did notice a feeling of “yeah, I can relate” with almost every piece at one point or another. To me, that shows how well the authors throughout the book did when explaining their experiences. I think this empathy is the first step towards being a good ally.

Finally, something that is also really cool about this book is the inclusion of author suggested resources on the various topics discussed, practical suggestions such as phrasing examples for having difficult conversations and numerous reflection prompts! These could serve as discussion questions within a small group or in a classroom, essay topic ideas, or simply as things the reader can reflect upon in whatever way works best for them.

In conclusion, I think that this book is going to be an important step forward in promoting allyship and understanding of experiences different from our own.

Many thanks to DK Publishing NetGalley for this e-ARC for review in exchange for my honest review.

[Trina Talma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway

This is definitely a thought-provoking collection of essays, one that anyone can learn from, provided they’re willing to learn. A wide variety of viewpoints are represented, from people who learned to be allies and those who needed allies at some point and managed to find them. Some are more eloquent than others, but all have interesting stories to tell.

I think personally I would have found the book even more interesting if there had been a story or two from someone closer to my own age. Not that I can’t learn from someone younger than me, but the views of someone in their 40s or older would provide an even broader perspective and reach a wider audience.

I might have given this book four stars, but I found the graphic-heavy design distracting at best, annoying at worst. I don’t mean illustrations- there are none, apart from one essay presented as a comic - or infographics (none of those either). I mean the generic doodle shapes on the edges of every page, even on the pages of the comic, and the block quotes on practically every other page. These give the book the look of a cross between a cheap magazine and a preteen girl’s diary. Maybe that would appeal to some readers; as far as I was concerned, if the writing had been of lesser quality, the appearance of the book would have made me leave it less than half-finished. There were also some essays which could have used closer editing for grammar and sentence structure, though that may be my cranky old writer voice talking.

I would honestly like to know if there are any books on this subject written by a Gen-Xer. I’d appreciate any recommendations.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is great collection of essays for anyone who wants to be a better ally or thinking about becomng one.

The first one, Dana's Absolutely Perfect Fail-Safe No Mistakes Guaranteed Way To Be An Ally by Dana Alison Levy was the most educational and uncomfortable one for me. The author tells you what to do and what not to do if you want to be an ally. I had committed I wanted to show someone empathy for her problem and I did it the wrong way! It really backfired, the recipient played a practical joke on me that was mean. I would have wanted a simple verbal response pointing out my mistake. But she enlisted two people in the joke and I had to go to restroom to sob. We never talked together again. It was too painful. I made a big mistake and she ratchetted it up. I could avoided the mistake and if I saw her doing that to another person, I would have summoned the guts to call her out.

Another essay stood out to me, Dismantling Judgment by Lizzie Huxley-Jones told her invisible illness and many of the same experiences that I have had and felt like I had found a friend.

Another essay, Lupe,was another favorite. I loved the story about her mother and her mother's childhood playmate. They maintained a strong friendsip and helped each other through out their lives until Lupe's tragic death.

[Em (Diversify Your Shelf)]

*This is of the preview because I didn't read it in time and now it's difficult to find without purchasing*

I can't speak to the whole book, but I really appreciate how the introduction breaks how the different privileges & types of oppression people have and how they can intersect. I *love* that right from the beginning it discusses how "being an ally means when you screw up (and you will), you apologise and do better.... but you don't insist on forgiveness....". This is such an important point because many people (myself included) will mess up and in their guilt will override the conversation and the person that has been hurt. At best, it's minimizing and at worst it is a form of abuse. I did a rather substantial essay on how the expectation of forgiveness in post-conflict societies just further marginalises people in the name of peace (because forced forgiveness for some nebulous 'greater good' is toxic), so I am glad that right from the beginning this book makes clear that forgiveness should not be expected and that when you screw up, you don't guilt the injured party into consoling you over your misdeeds.