UPDATED review posted on 10/11/2020:
Since posting my original review of the ARC, the author had reached out to me and we had a couple of exchanges about the points I made in my review. The author graciously took my review as constructive criticism and edited the book accordingly, then shared some specific edits with me.
I can't speak for the entire book, but I can't in good conscience leave my original review un-edited as the issues I raised in it seem to be fixed now. I have told the author that I would have went on with the book if it weren't for the issues I originally had, and I'm repeating this here. Now that these are resolved, I urge readers to keep this in mind if they read my original review.
I will not delete the original review, as that seems unnecessary, but I really appreciate and respect that my comments were taken as constructive criticism and used for edits. I might yet go back to the book and give it another go in the future, but until then please keep in mind that my original review concerned only 25% of the book and that the issues mentioned in it have now been resolved and edited by Ms. Ray. The original review does not reflect the finished product.
I have also in good conscience cleared my rating for the book, as I technically haven't read the finished version of it, besides the edits Ms. Ray sent me.
As always, give this book a chance and decide for yourself how to feel about the story!
Original 1 star review posted on 28/10/2020:
I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange of an honest review.
DNF at 25%
I went into this book with such high expectations that it pains me to write a bad review for it, but this book and I did not click at all.
The positive is that the premises of the book is pretty cool. A mystery that takes place across different countries, with multiple characters, and some time jumps sounds like a pretty fun thing to read. And I liked that the events were taking place at three separate locations. However, I think I knew from the prologue that this would be a difficult read for me due to the writing style, which I found a bit tedious and hard to follow with unnecessary descriptions that distract the reader from the flow of the story. However, writing styles are more of an acquired taste that can work with varying degrees of success depending on the reader -so I thought I would ignore my initial assessment and trudge on.
This brought me to the first chapter, and I honestly think that had I not hated Benedict's pov so much; I might have been able to maybe finish the book. I don't know if it was an intentional choice on the author's part, but Benedict's chapters were extremely uncomfortable and unsettling to read (and not in a good way). The book tried to sell Benedict off as an aloof, wealthy banker but what I got was a character that was deeply unlikeable, and borderline disturbing in how he described his surroundings and perceived other characters. Again, not in the good, intentional this-character-is-deliciously-messed-up way, but in a this guy is insufferable kind of way. This came from the way Benedict talks about the female characters, to him wanting a "trophy child", to the very upsetting few paragraphs where he uses the words "prey", "his prize", and "his target" to describe someone he wants to pick up at a bar. Someone who the book hints at being far -far- younger than the 30 year old main character. And this is all in the first two chapters. I don't mind reading about closeted queer characters with internalized homophobia -although god knows it's a trope I'm sick of- but to write Benedict to sound this predatory and unsettling, then have the catch be surprise, he's a closeted self-hating gay! rubbed me the wrong way. The only time I had any kind feelings towards Benedict at all was, very briefly, during the scene at the hospital with his mother. And even that didn't last long.
Marie is more tolerable on her own and the chapters do get somewhat easier to read once she appears, but there are some things throughout her chapters (and Benedict's) that made me stop reading to take a break. There was a very unfortunate paragraph where Marie insinuates that a ten year old child is looking at her in an appraising/sexual manner while she picked up her son at school.. this theme of minors and adults pops up on three separate occasions within the first 7 chapters. Again, a scenario that I might read (in a crime novel or a story dealing with trauma and abuse) if done differently and if it didn't set such an uncomfortable tone for the rest of the narrative because it's left unacknowledged as something deeply wrong. The incident at the school in particular made me recoil. I would venture to say that if you're an adult reading a child's look that way, then the problem is you. Not the child. So, yeah, Marie made me feel iffy too.
What else? As a queer woman of color, mishandling of characters of color jumps at me each time. It's almost always expected, but completely unwelcome. I'm not saying that this book is racist, but it describes its characters of color weirdly. Benedict describing a character as "The Asian guy" repeatedly wasn't great. Surely he could have said "Laure's friend" or "The secretary's friend" or any number of things after the initial acknowledgment of the character's race?! Another strange instant of this was the following, said by a doctor to Benedict: "She slipped into a coma." A slight Indian inflexion ringed her final sentence. . I had to stop at this line, frown, and try to figure out how this line belonged in a scene that should have been emotional and meant to inspire sympathy to the main character. Instead of getting emotionally invested, I had to stop and marvel at how out of place and weird the line felt. Might be an issue of the writing style again, but it was unpleasant to read all the same.
This is all to say that I really tried reading this book and to keep going with it, but there were just too many things about it that did not sit right with me. I want people to keep in mind that I only read about 25% of it, so maybe some of it is intentionally setting events up for later but I personally couldn't get far enough to find out. The amount I read was more than enough for me as I tend to focus a lot on characterization and writing style, and sadly neither one worked for me here.
I still appreciate getting an opportunity to review this book, and as always I urge people to pick up books for themselves and make up their own minds on whether or not they find a book enjoyable.