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Brave(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist
At forty, Margaret quits her sales job to follow her husband’s hotel career to Paris. She’s setting sail on this adventure with a glass half full of bravery, a well-traveled passport, a journal in which she plans to write her novel, and the mentally engrained Davis Family Handbook of Rules to Live By.
Everyone tells Margaret she’s living the dream, but she feels adrift without a professional identity. Desperate to feel productive and valued, she abandons her writing and throws herself into new roles: perfect wife, hostess, guide, and expatriate. When she and her husband move to Cairo, however, the void inside she’s been ignoring threatens to engulf her. It’s clear that something needs to change, so she does the one thing she was raised never to do: asks for—and accepts—help.
Over the next fifteen years abroad, the cultures of Egypt, Thailand, and Singapore confront Margaret with lessons she never would have learned at home. But it’s only when they move back to Chicago—with Margaret now stepping into the role of perfect caretaker to her parents—that she has to decide once and for all: will she dare to let go of the old rules and roles she thinks keep her safe in order to step into her own life and creative destiny?
Everyone tells Margaret she’s living the dream, but she feels adrift without a professional identity. Desperate to feel productive and valued, she abandons her writing and throws herself into new roles: perfect wife, hostess, guide, and expatriate. When she and her husband move to Cairo, however, the void inside she’s been ignoring threatens to engulf her. It’s clear that something needs to change, so she does the one thing she was raised never to do: asks for—and accepts—help.
Over the next fifteen years abroad, the cultures of Egypt, Thailand, and Singapore confront Margaret with lessons she never would have learned at home. But it’s only when they move back to Chicago—with Margaret now stepping into the role of perfect caretaker to her parents—that she has to decide once and for all: will she dare to let go of the old rules and roles she thinks keep her safe in order to step into her own life and creative destiny?
- GenresMemoirTravelNonfiction
272 pages, Paperback
Published September 15, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
August 26, 2020
Margaret Davis Ghielmetti's new memoir, Bravish, covers a lot of territory. Not only are we transported to a variety of international locations, but the landscape of the heart is traveled as well, taking us on a journey from living with crippling perfectionism to the freedom of becoming one's authentic self.
As the wife of a career hotelier, Margaret lived as a traveling spouse wherever her husband's posting took them. New York, Paris, Egypt, Thailand, Singapore. Just the thought of all those moves is exhausting. Orchestrating these international moves, acclimating to entirely new cultures, making new friends, entertaining business associates - Margaret repeated the process many times and became an expert on how to pack, move, and adapt. She was perfect at it. Perfection requires sacrifice and hers was to put the needs of everyone else in front of her own. It's hard to hold on to a clear idea of your own wants and needs when they are continually sublimated by those of others.
She writes about some of the coping strategies she developed to withstand the pressure and disappointment she felt, alcohol being primary among them. Getting sober is an act of bravery without any qualifying 'ish.' Margaret managed to give booze up when it meant being deprived of the very things that made her feel less isolated and undervalued. All of a sudden the feelings must be dealt with without filter. Maintaining sobriety is a commitment to the self and it's from this point that she begins to discover who she is. Only with sobriety can she begin to arrange her life so her own needs are met. Only then does she gain a clear idea of what those needs are.
It's been said that the art of the memoir is to turn the personal into the universal and Margaret succeeds at this in a seamless, delightful way. Her misadventures and trials are entertaining and serve as pieces of the puzzle she has in front of her. What does she want? How can she obtain it? Who will be hurt in the process? Her husband Patrick is shown as a supportive and kind man who avoids taking for granted the life Margaret gives him. However, the demands of his job means she is left alone much of the time, isolating her in often bewildering new locations. With her sure prose she makes the reader feel what she felt. The stakes grow as she struggles for clarity and the reader is fully invested in her journey.
It's with a sure hand that Margaret writes her compelling story. She is also a popular figure in the Chicago storytelling world and her expertise is put to good use here. Her tale is fun to read but also challenges our notion of what we owe ourselves and what, if anything, we owe others. These are questions we all should ask ourselves in our own journeys into confident self-worth and authenticity.
As the wife of a career hotelier, Margaret lived as a traveling spouse wherever her husband's posting took them. New York, Paris, Egypt, Thailand, Singapore. Just the thought of all those moves is exhausting. Orchestrating these international moves, acclimating to entirely new cultures, making new friends, entertaining business associates - Margaret repeated the process many times and became an expert on how to pack, move, and adapt. She was perfect at it. Perfection requires sacrifice and hers was to put the needs of everyone else in front of her own. It's hard to hold on to a clear idea of your own wants and needs when they are continually sublimated by those of others.
She writes about some of the coping strategies she developed to withstand the pressure and disappointment she felt, alcohol being primary among them. Getting sober is an act of bravery without any qualifying 'ish.' Margaret managed to give booze up when it meant being deprived of the very things that made her feel less isolated and undervalued. All of a sudden the feelings must be dealt with without filter. Maintaining sobriety is a commitment to the self and it's from this point that she begins to discover who she is. Only with sobriety can she begin to arrange her life so her own needs are met. Only then does she gain a clear idea of what those needs are.
It's been said that the art of the memoir is to turn the personal into the universal and Margaret succeeds at this in a seamless, delightful way. Her misadventures and trials are entertaining and serve as pieces of the puzzle she has in front of her. What does she want? How can she obtain it? Who will be hurt in the process? Her husband Patrick is shown as a supportive and kind man who avoids taking for granted the life Margaret gives him. However, the demands of his job means she is left alone much of the time, isolating her in often bewildering new locations. With her sure prose she makes the reader feel what she felt. The stakes grow as she struggles for clarity and the reader is fully invested in her journey.
It's with a sure hand that Margaret writes her compelling story. She is also a popular figure in the Chicago storytelling world and her expertise is put to good use here. Her tale is fun to read but also challenges our notion of what we owe ourselves and what, if anything, we owe others. These are questions we all should ask ourselves in our own journeys into confident self-worth and authenticity.
October 28, 2020
Brave(ish) is supposed to be an uplifting book, but man it depressed me. I’m happy for the author that she was able to eventually understand what she really wanted out of life, that she finally realized it wasn’t her dream to follow her husband around the world and throw a bunch of parties to help his career, that she could tell people no and still feel lovable.
But this book reads like a series of sad events that happen to a very lonely person who gains some insight but experiences very little connection to her world. I had trouble feeling anything while reading her story. I still have no idea who her husband is. In fact, he sounds kind of terrible, honestly. 😬 After finishing the book, I can tell the author feels more comfortable in her own skin, which is great. But I’m not sure if she’s happier? More content? Fulfilled? On a journey she actually enjoys? Basically, I saw a lot of growth but not a lot of joy, so I’m left feeling confused. And a little melancholy.
But this book reads like a series of sad events that happen to a very lonely person who gains some insight but experiences very little connection to her world. I had trouble feeling anything while reading her story. I still have no idea who her husband is. In fact, he sounds kind of terrible, honestly. 😬 After finishing the book, I can tell the author feels more comfortable in her own skin, which is great. But I’m not sure if she’s happier? More content? Fulfilled? On a journey she actually enjoys? Basically, I saw a lot of growth but not a lot of joy, so I’m left feeling confused. And a little melancholy.
August 17, 2020
I wrote the full review on my blog: https://adventuresinnonsense.com/book....
This book was truly wonderful, and I can't recommend it enough. I connected with Margaret. It read easily but still had lessons to give.
This book was truly wonderful, and I can't recommend it enough. I connected with Margaret. It read easily but still had lessons to give.
July 17, 2020
Note: I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley and am leaving this review voluntarily.
When I began Brave(ish) by Margaret Davis Ghielmetti, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. My favorite genre has long been biographies/memoirs, but a book about traveling the world? That was a new one for me. Thankfully, Brave(ish) did not disappoint, and Ghielmetti’s book is far more than I ever could’ve hoped to read.
As Margaret follows her husband, Patrick, around the world for his job as a hotel General Manager, she played the role of Hostess perfectly—in many ways, reminding me of Bree Van de Kamp from ABC’s Desperate Housewives. Margaret felt obligated to fulfill these hosting duties and more in order to be the “perfect” spouse, but it was evident early on in the book that the duties weren’t fulfilling her in return. When Patrick is transferred from Paris to Egypt then Thailand, Margaret’s adoption of various values and customs from these cultures ultimately contributed to her realization that she striving for perfection isn’t the key to joy; rather, it’s authenticity.
On her journey to personal and spiritual enlightenment, Margaret combats not only her perfectionistic tendencies, but also her alcoholism. She realizes that filling herself with wine could never fill the void the perfectionism had left within her, and for the first time, she begins making true, lasting friendship (with plenty of disappointment along the way). While she explores the wonders of the world, she also explores herself and a potential new way of life, with her supportive, loving husband by her side.
In many ways, I felt like Margaret was telling me the story personally, as if it were one of her many “Trip Reports” sent via email to her loved ones around the world as she and her husband relocated. Brave(ish) is candid, with many relatable quips throughout. The author’s inclusion of detail—both of the world and her experiences with infertility, the loss of her parents, and loneliness alike—set this book apart from many memoirs I’ve read. Brave(ish) doesn’t shy away from Tough Topics; instead, Ghielmetti embraces them fully.
I’m awarding Brave(ish) five stars for Ghielmetti’s ability to immerse the reader in her perfectionism from the very first page, bringing the reader alongside her in the reflections and realizations on her journey. I’ve read dozens of memoirs and autobiographical works, but none like Brave(ish). I highly-recommend Brave(ish) for all readers, but especially women who struggle with “Type A Tendencies” or accepting that there is no such thing as the “perfect homemaker.”
And Margaret, if you ever see this review…congratulations on finally finishing your book. 😊 Your passion for the written word is evident. Keep writing.
When I began Brave(ish) by Margaret Davis Ghielmetti, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. My favorite genre has long been biographies/memoirs, but a book about traveling the world? That was a new one for me. Thankfully, Brave(ish) did not disappoint, and Ghielmetti’s book is far more than I ever could’ve hoped to read.
As Margaret follows her husband, Patrick, around the world for his job as a hotel General Manager, she played the role of Hostess perfectly—in many ways, reminding me of Bree Van de Kamp from ABC’s Desperate Housewives. Margaret felt obligated to fulfill these hosting duties and more in order to be the “perfect” spouse, but it was evident early on in the book that the duties weren’t fulfilling her in return. When Patrick is transferred from Paris to Egypt then Thailand, Margaret’s adoption of various values and customs from these cultures ultimately contributed to her realization that she striving for perfection isn’t the key to joy; rather, it’s authenticity.
On her journey to personal and spiritual enlightenment, Margaret combats not only her perfectionistic tendencies, but also her alcoholism. She realizes that filling herself with wine could never fill the void the perfectionism had left within her, and for the first time, she begins making true, lasting friendship (with plenty of disappointment along the way). While she explores the wonders of the world, she also explores herself and a potential new way of life, with her supportive, loving husband by her side.
In many ways, I felt like Margaret was telling me the story personally, as if it were one of her many “Trip Reports” sent via email to her loved ones around the world as she and her husband relocated. Brave(ish) is candid, with many relatable quips throughout. The author’s inclusion of detail—both of the world and her experiences with infertility, the loss of her parents, and loneliness alike—set this book apart from many memoirs I’ve read. Brave(ish) doesn’t shy away from Tough Topics; instead, Ghielmetti embraces them fully.
I’m awarding Brave(ish) five stars for Ghielmetti’s ability to immerse the reader in her perfectionism from the very first page, bringing the reader alongside her in the reflections and realizations on her journey. I’ve read dozens of memoirs and autobiographical works, but none like Brave(ish). I highly-recommend Brave(ish) for all readers, but especially women who struggle with “Type A Tendencies” or accepting that there is no such thing as the “perfect homemaker.”
And Margaret, if you ever see this review…congratulations on finally finishing your book. 😊 Your passion for the written word is evident. Keep writing.
December 4, 2021
What a pleasure to read Margaret Davis Ghielmetti's memoir Brave(ish). She's a traveler to places near and far ( Paris, Egypt, Thailand,Singapore, India, Switzerland and Chicago to name a few) and her journeys are full of adventure. Her husband, Patrick is a general manager for the Four Seasons hotel group and Margaret accompanies him to all these amazing places. Margaret immerses herself into the varied countries where they live, going out of her way to meet local people, speak their language and learn about their cultures. Brave(ish) is exceptionally well-written with authenticity and humor. I highly recommend the memoir. Margaret is indeed a brave woman. There is no ish about it.
July 21, 2020
This was an interesting memoir.
It was probably the first memoir I ever read, but somehow the idea of a "Recovering Perfectionist" expat had me interested in this story. Even more so because by also being an expat I can, at least partially, relate to the story from a common ground perspective.
I liked that it was mainly centered on the narrator's feelings other than being merely a golden positive-side-only type of memoir. Especially because a lot of people tend to see expat's lives as being just an adventurous never ending vacation, when the reality isn't like that. There is also a negative side to living in a foreign country far away from your family and long-term friends and this book talks about that too.
Apart from that, I think this book also missed more enthusiasm by the narrator. You often get that feeling that her life was only a constant string of chores and lonely boredom even if she is all the time in beautiful settings. On the other hand the whole narrative drives home the point that a person should have their own goals and not only care about others all the time. This is something that especially stay-at-home wives often do too, remaining all the time busy with tending to others while their own wishes remain deeply buried as not all all important and therefore not a priority in their lives.
So I liked the main theme of this memoir very much and would therefore recommend it to anyone who has forgotten the true wishes of their souls and would like to be reminded that doing your daily chores everyday perfectly won't be a good substitute to pursuing your true aspirations and goals as an important priority too.
I would like to thank NetGalley and She Writes Press for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
It was probably the first memoir I ever read, but somehow the idea of a "Recovering Perfectionist" expat had me interested in this story. Even more so because by also being an expat I can, at least partially, relate to the story from a common ground perspective.
I liked that it was mainly centered on the narrator's feelings other than being merely a golden positive-side-only type of memoir. Especially because a lot of people tend to see expat's lives as being just an adventurous never ending vacation, when the reality isn't like that. There is also a negative side to living in a foreign country far away from your family and long-term friends and this book talks about that too.
Apart from that, I think this book also missed more enthusiasm by the narrator. You often get that feeling that her life was only a constant string of chores and lonely boredom even if she is all the time in beautiful settings. On the other hand the whole narrative drives home the point that a person should have their own goals and not only care about others all the time. This is something that especially stay-at-home wives often do too, remaining all the time busy with tending to others while their own wishes remain deeply buried as not all all important and therefore not a priority in their lives.
So I liked the main theme of this memoir very much and would therefore recommend it to anyone who has forgotten the true wishes of their souls and would like to be reminded that doing your daily chores everyday perfectly won't be a good substitute to pursuing your true aspirations and goals as an important priority too.
I would like to thank NetGalley and She Writes Press for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
July 17, 2025
Loved this! She did a great job making the reader feel as she was, growing throughout her journey. I could relate in many aspects, and thoroughly enjoyed this!
September 14, 2020
Thank you so much to booksforwardPR and She Writes Press for my advanced digital copy! Braveish is a well-written memoir with such a personal tone, it feels like talking to a friend. The author details her experience living in various countries and the struggles that she dealt with along the way. I found the main themes of her memoir interesting and loved the overall “live your best life and follow your goals” message. I did find my thoughts drifting at times but this book still ended up inspiring me to travel more! 3.5 stars
May 12, 2022
This book held my interest and gave me vicarious travel adventures as well. I wanted to know what happened next, thus reading it in under a week. I found it more engaging than a NYT bestselling novel that recently took me four months to read, and I usually love novels. I don’t usually read personal memoirs. I found this author’s journey both entertaining and enlightening.
January 17, 2022
In Brave(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist, Margaret Davis Ghielmetti whisks us around the world in this delightful memoir, travelogue and journey of self-discovery.
Margaret leaves her job to become “Trailing Spouse” to her Four Seasons GM husband, Patrick, as his career is launching halfway around the world. Determined to begin writing her novel in their first three-month stop in Paris, she instead busies herself as hostess-with-the-mostest, providing guided tours to an unending stream of guests. It isn’t until it’s time for the next stop, Egypt, when the realization that her turquoise journal designated for novel-writing remains blank.
As Patrick’s career progresses and his work days become longer, Margaret descends into reflexive habits dictated by The Davis Family Handbook - perfect wife, hostess and expat - she plunges into the realization that she has lost herself in the process. Margaret struggles with loneliness, and finding herself and her purpose as something other than perfectionist.
Struggling against her demons and The Handbook, she finds faith and her voice even through the process of aging and the challenges of caring for her eldery parents.
Each chapter titled for the geographic location Margaret and Patrick are “stationed” in, Brave(ish) is a delightful trip around the globe for armchair travelers. This book is a pleasure as Margaret delves into the cultural details of the countries she finds herself with breathtaking descriptions of her day-to-day observations as well as her adventures in strange and wondrous places: a tower overcrowded with monkeys.
This is a story of how to love and be loved and how to find yourself when you think you are lost. Margaret writes with raw honesty and pure love. Whether in breathtakingly beautiful exotic parts of the world, or sitting in her parents home sharing coffee, she bares her soul.
Brave(ish) is outstanding. Flawlessly written. And Margaret’s life is astonishingly relatable. A masterpiece of a memoir.
Margaret leaves her job to become “Trailing Spouse” to her Four Seasons GM husband, Patrick, as his career is launching halfway around the world. Determined to begin writing her novel in their first three-month stop in Paris, she instead busies herself as hostess-with-the-mostest, providing guided tours to an unending stream of guests. It isn’t until it’s time for the next stop, Egypt, when the realization that her turquoise journal designated for novel-writing remains blank.
As Patrick’s career progresses and his work days become longer, Margaret descends into reflexive habits dictated by The Davis Family Handbook - perfect wife, hostess and expat - she plunges into the realization that she has lost herself in the process. Margaret struggles with loneliness, and finding herself and her purpose as something other than perfectionist.
Struggling against her demons and The Handbook, she finds faith and her voice even through the process of aging and the challenges of caring for her eldery parents.
Each chapter titled for the geographic location Margaret and Patrick are “stationed” in, Brave(ish) is a delightful trip around the globe for armchair travelers. This book is a pleasure as Margaret delves into the cultural details of the countries she finds herself with breathtaking descriptions of her day-to-day observations as well as her adventures in strange and wondrous places: a tower overcrowded with monkeys.
This is a story of how to love and be loved and how to find yourself when you think you are lost. Margaret writes with raw honesty and pure love. Whether in breathtakingly beautiful exotic parts of the world, or sitting in her parents home sharing coffee, she bares her soul.
Brave(ish) is outstanding. Flawlessly written. And Margaret’s life is astonishingly relatable. A masterpiece of a memoir.
August 16, 2020
I really loved Brave(ish) and it’s a great read on multiple levels: If you enjoy reading of travels and learning of cultural differences, including belly laughing anecdotes, this is for you. If you have ever found yourself needing to do a re-set in your life, and need inspiration, this book is for you. If you ever found yourself putting yourself last, and realized that doesn’t work, this book is for you. If your book club needs a very relatable memoir with a lot of themes for discussion, this book is for you.
Ghielmetti is a master at setting a scene and painting a picture in this well-written travelogue/personal journey about a corporate wife who accompanies her Swiss husband – a manager for Four Seasons – into France, Egypt, Thailand and Singapore. Although Margaret is ready for adventure, she is also ready to carve out a new role for herself as best expatriate and corporate wife ever, only to find frustration and rejection at every turn. Her aging parents in far-away Chicago are having health issues, another strain on her self-imposed quest to meet unrealistic perfectionism. With insight, compassion and humor, Ghielmetti reassesses the unwritten family rules she followed until middle age, when she found those rules kept her from living a fulfilling and meaningful life.
I highly recommend Brave(ish) for every type of reader and human.
Ghielmetti is a master at setting a scene and painting a picture in this well-written travelogue/personal journey about a corporate wife who accompanies her Swiss husband – a manager for Four Seasons – into France, Egypt, Thailand and Singapore. Although Margaret is ready for adventure, she is also ready to carve out a new role for herself as best expatriate and corporate wife ever, only to find frustration and rejection at every turn. Her aging parents in far-away Chicago are having health issues, another strain on her self-imposed quest to meet unrealistic perfectionism. With insight, compassion and humor, Ghielmetti reassesses the unwritten family rules she followed until middle age, when she found those rules kept her from living a fulfilling and meaningful life.
I highly recommend Brave(ish) for every type of reader and human.
September 16, 2020
To say that I understand what it means to be a perfectionist would be an understatement. This review took me several days to get through, not necessarily because the task was particularly difficult but rather for how much pressure I was putting on my self to articulate my thoughts.
It is a tricky, terrible thing to have perfectionism as a specter hanging over your life – especially when it’s of your own making.
Margaret Davis Ghielmetti is one such person and her memoir serves as a reminder of how important perception can be when it comes to tackling the obstacles put in your path.
By all accounts, Ghielmetti has a supremely privileged life. A loving mom and dad, siblings she gets along with, a good career and a loving husband who deeply adores her. She’s financially stable enough to quit her job and become a traveling spouse, throwing herself into each new location and new culture with the kind of abandon that only comes from having the financial means to do so. But as Ghielmetti’s work shows, all the money in the world can’t absolve the feeling of emptiness that comes with not having your own niche. Born for hospitality yet having married into it, Ghielmetti describes her attempts to make each new location that her husband is stationed at as home with the kind of wistfulness that reads like a travel diary – wondering what daring location they’ll be rushing off to next. As with the genre, it becomes abundantly obvious to the reader what the problems are long before our protagonist does, yet that also comes with the recognition that hindsight really is 20/20. The journey is internal regardless of their geographical location and yet by the end, we get the sense that Ghielmetti is really only just beginning.
Light and expressive, Brave(ish) would be perfect read for a book club or for anyone looking to escape into someone else’s life.
It is a tricky, terrible thing to have perfectionism as a specter hanging over your life – especially when it’s of your own making.
Margaret Davis Ghielmetti is one such person and her memoir serves as a reminder of how important perception can be when it comes to tackling the obstacles put in your path.
By all accounts, Ghielmetti has a supremely privileged life. A loving mom and dad, siblings she gets along with, a good career and a loving husband who deeply adores her. She’s financially stable enough to quit her job and become a traveling spouse, throwing herself into each new location and new culture with the kind of abandon that only comes from having the financial means to do so. But as Ghielmetti’s work shows, all the money in the world can’t absolve the feeling of emptiness that comes with not having your own niche. Born for hospitality yet having married into it, Ghielmetti describes her attempts to make each new location that her husband is stationed at as home with the kind of wistfulness that reads like a travel diary – wondering what daring location they’ll be rushing off to next. As with the genre, it becomes abundantly obvious to the reader what the problems are long before our protagonist does, yet that also comes with the recognition that hindsight really is 20/20. The journey is internal regardless of their geographical location and yet by the end, we get the sense that Ghielmetti is really only just beginning.
Light and expressive, Brave(ish) would be perfect read for a book club or for anyone looking to escape into someone else’s life.
September 21, 2020
Thanks to @booksforwardpr, @margaretghielmetti, and @shewritespress for my gifted copy of Brave(ish)! In the book, Ghielmetti documents her life as a “trailing spouse” to her husband’s job with the Four Seasons, the adventures around the world they experience, and the journey towards living her own life, not one that was laid out for her.
The adventures that Ghielmetti finds her in, along with her inner dialogue about them, are absolutely fascinating. It was interesting to hear about all of these magnificent places she was living in, and things she was seeing, and then see how she processed a move back to Chicago. Ghielmetti touches on a variety of events that happened while she was out of the country as well, including where she was on 9/11 and the decline of her parents’ health. I think that there is a lot to learn in this book - not only about how to live as an expatriate, but also about how to live for yourself, and not according to any guidebook. One example was how Ghielmetti rejected the notion that a GM’s wife was to throw nightly cocktail parties. She ended up doing it on her own terms. There are many more ways in which she does this throughout the book, but I’ll leave those up for the reader to discover.
If you’re in need of an escape, Brave(ish) is out now.
The adventures that Ghielmetti finds her in, along with her inner dialogue about them, are absolutely fascinating. It was interesting to hear about all of these magnificent places she was living in, and things she was seeing, and then see how she processed a move back to Chicago. Ghielmetti touches on a variety of events that happened while she was out of the country as well, including where she was on 9/11 and the decline of her parents’ health. I think that there is a lot to learn in this book - not only about how to live as an expatriate, but also about how to live for yourself, and not according to any guidebook. One example was how Ghielmetti rejected the notion that a GM’s wife was to throw nightly cocktail parties. She ended up doing it on her own terms. There are many more ways in which she does this throughout the book, but I’ll leave those up for the reader to discover.
If you’re in need of an escape, Brave(ish) is out now.
November 7, 2021
The title of this memoir fits it perfectly. I came away impressed by the author's bravery and adventurous spirit even in the face of doubts and insecurities. She skillfully weaves together her inner and outer journeys as she visits an astounding number of exotic locales, fulfilling a lifelong travel lust that takes her, strangely enough, farther away from realizing her dreams.
Ghielmetti writes so honestly and engagingly that I was fully immersed in her story and finished it in one weekend. I didn't expect to be so swept up in the details of life as a 'trailing spouse' but the way she expertly captures the push/pull between feeling both blessed and adrift is so universal that it didn't matter what country she was in or what luxury hotel she was describing, I was thrilled to travel with her! There are a lot of layers here to appeal to many, many readers.
Ghielmetti writes so honestly and engagingly that I was fully immersed in her story and finished it in one weekend. I didn't expect to be so swept up in the details of life as a 'trailing spouse' but the way she expertly captures the push/pull between feeling both blessed and adrift is so universal that it didn't matter what country she was in or what luxury hotel she was describing, I was thrilled to travel with her! There are a lot of layers here to appeal to many, many readers.
October 22, 2020
Brave(ish) impacted me deeply. It made me laugh and cry out loud, sometimes simultaneously. While Margaret’s journey is an unusual one that has taken her all over the globe, it is one that so many of us can relate to while enjoying the wonderful travel tales. It made me think about my own ‘family handbook’ and how it has impacted my decisions and my life. Margaret reminded me that it’s never too late to find yourself. I have given this book as a gift to many friends and all have reported back that they loved it. It's such an intimate journey that Margaret shares and it is one that many of us can relate to. I highly recommend this book.
September 17, 2020
Brave(ish) is a revelatory and rich mix of memoir and travelogue. In this emotionally powerful book, Margaret Davis Ghielmetti reveals the painful journey she takes to self-discovery with insight and humor. At the same time, her interior journey is a kaleidoscopic travelogue for the armchair traveler, taking the reader from one globetrotter's dream landscape to the next: New York, Paris, Cairo, Sharm El Sheikh, Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Singapore, and India. An acclaimed storyteller, Margaret writes with raw honesty, probingly and hilariously, about her adventures and struggles as a trailing spouse. After a lifetime under the crushing commandments of The Davis Family Handbook, confined to helping others fulfill their dreams but pushing her own to the side, Margaret finally, BRAVELY, liberates herself and pursues her own destiny. Her story inspires you to explore deep inside and find that nugget of courage to do the same.
September 22, 2020
I liked the combination of travelogue plus memoir. I enjoyed reading about the author living in other countries and experiencing the cultures vicariously through her. I think she adapted as well as she could, but also conformed to rigid standards that were arbitrarily set. It was a quick pleasant read. I appreciate when authors allow readers to peak into their lives.
Thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the advance read.
Thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the advance read.
November 3, 2021
Reading Brave(ish) was like going out for coffee with a (very interesting and well-traveled!) friend. My favorite memoirs always make me feel connected to someone whose experience is completely different from my own, and on this point, Brave(ish) delivers. Ghielmetti shares stories from her globe-trotting life while grappling with issues—the unwritten Family Handbook, dependence on alcohol, loneliness, caring for aging parents—to which many of her readers will relate. This would be a great choice for a book group as there’s much fodder for discussion here—Ghielmetti even includes some possible questions to get the conversation started. As for me, I’ve sent a copy of Brave(ish) to my mother for her birthday so we can talk about it! And I might just get this line tattooed on my forearm: "But I know now that the emotional payoff has to come from inside me--not from the praise of others for my people pleasing. I'm retraining myself not to bite, no matter how alluring the lures."
September 3, 2020
I really enjoyed reading about all the travel and new places the author got to go to. I am not sure I was able to relate as much as I originally thought I would. While I am a people pleaser, I don't do it to the detriment of myself. Overall the book kept my interest and made me want to travel much more than I have.
September 30, 2020
Reading Brave(ish) led me to an “aha” moment I had been unknowingly awaiting my entire adult life. A recovering perfectionist myself, I found solace in another woman questioning “What will I be if I’m not perfect?” Kudos to Margaret for asking tough questions and finding answers. Let us take her example and forge ahead towards being- at the very least- brave(ish).
February 28, 2021
This was a bit of a slow start for me. I'm very particular about what non-fiction I read, but something about this just spoke to me: perhaps I, myself, feel 'Brave(ish)', or at least want to. Regardless, I'm so glad I read it.
I have to say that I was initially a bit envious of a family having a 'handbook' until I twigged it was a metaphorical one, and that my family likely had one too (and possibly two: one for the girls, one for the boy). Anyway, family history/mild resentments aside, I am close to the author's age and although had a very different life growing up and am vanilla pudding compared to her Harrod's rich Red Velvet cake (no, seriously - to both), I related to many parts of the book, and particularly the last couple of chapters, where she really comes into herself and starts to fully own her place in the world.
A few of my highlighted phrases:
-'Do I really still feel that I don't have the right to exist (if I'm not a saint, saviour, and sentry)?'
-'I tell a story that leaves me shuddering with sadness - about how I repeatedly gave away my self-respect to try to hold men to me.'
-'Over the next nine days, a massage therapist tells me that I swallowed pain for so long that my belly got full and transferred the pain to my back to carry around. He says that's why my lumbar is so tender.'
-'...the emotional payoff has to come from inside me - not from the praise of others for my people pleasing.'
All of these resonated in me for different reasons: I'm trying to write a book. I lost my dad (40 years ago, grieving still has not happened). I struggle to believe my own worth and deservedness. I give away my self-respect to please men/people. I struggle with internal/external validation. Etc. Etc. I think maybe we can all relate to these sorts of things to varying degrees.
BUT. Reading this, the personal story of a woman who is so well-educated, well-travelled, has a loving and well-meaning (imperfect) family, a good and kind man as her husband, and a real, genuine curiosity about the world, and yet who struggled so much with her place in it, really struck a chord in me. Lit a little spark in me like Margaret's god spark was lit in her one day. I finished it on Valentine's Day, so make of that what you will (I, however, do not believe in coincidence).
This book won't appeal to everyone. Not every book can be for every body, and that's okay. But I loved this and would recommend it to anyone who is feeling a little adrift.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for the ARC to read and review. All opinions are strictly my own.
I have to say that I was initially a bit envious of a family having a 'handbook' until I twigged it was a metaphorical one, and that my family likely had one too (and possibly two: one for the girls, one for the boy). Anyway, family history/mild resentments aside, I am close to the author's age and although had a very different life growing up and am vanilla pudding compared to her Harrod's rich Red Velvet cake (no, seriously - to both), I related to many parts of the book, and particularly the last couple of chapters, where she really comes into herself and starts to fully own her place in the world.
A few of my highlighted phrases:
-'Do I really still feel that I don't have the right to exist (if I'm not a saint, saviour, and sentry)?'
-'I tell a story that leaves me shuddering with sadness - about how I repeatedly gave away my self-respect to try to hold men to me.'
-'Over the next nine days, a massage therapist tells me that I swallowed pain for so long that my belly got full and transferred the pain to my back to carry around. He says that's why my lumbar is so tender.'
-'...the emotional payoff has to come from inside me - not from the praise of others for my people pleasing.'
All of these resonated in me for different reasons: I'm trying to write a book. I lost my dad (40 years ago, grieving still has not happened). I struggle to believe my own worth and deservedness. I give away my self-respect to please men/people. I struggle with internal/external validation. Etc. Etc. I think maybe we can all relate to these sorts of things to varying degrees.
BUT. Reading this, the personal story of a woman who is so well-educated, well-travelled, has a loving and well-meaning (imperfect) family, a good and kind man as her husband, and a real, genuine curiosity about the world, and yet who struggled so much with her place in it, really struck a chord in me. Lit a little spark in me like Margaret's god spark was lit in her one day. I finished it on Valentine's Day, so make of that what you will (I, however, do not believe in coincidence).
This book won't appeal to everyone. Not every book can be for every body, and that's okay. But I loved this and would recommend it to anyone who is feeling a little adrift.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author and publisher for the ARC to read and review. All opinions are strictly my own.
March 17, 2021
I could not put this book down!
Brave(ish) is more than a memoir, it's an exploration into how we find peace and acceptance of who we are. Ghielmetti takes the reader on a compelling journey as she navigates her way around the world -- and into her soul. Her sharp writing and storytelling expertise elevate this book to the point where I felt I knew her.
Brave(ish) is more than a memoir, it's an exploration into how we find peace and acceptance of who we are. Ghielmetti takes the reader on a compelling journey as she navigates her way around the world -- and into her soul. Her sharp writing and storytelling expertise elevate this book to the point where I felt I knew her.
September 12, 2020
An enjoyable memoir describing the travels and the different countries that the author has visited. The main premise of the book is the importance of following your own goals and what lights your soul instead of only taking care the other people in your life.
September 23, 2020
Ghielmetti shares her travels around the globe while challenged with a personal journey. Navigating through life-changing experiences over a nineteen-year span, from marriage to published book author, Ghielmetti draws on a reader's imagination of place and setting through her descriptive writing of details, then digs deep to uncover meanings to her experiences and relationships to others and to herself. A true page-turner of life lessons, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Gielmetti's story and I know you will too!
September 24, 2020
I read this book on a reviewer's recommendation and greatly enjoyed the author's story of finding herself as she travelled the world. But more than her exotic experiences in Egypt or Thailand or India, I appreciated the moments when she turned her ex-pat lens on herself and explored what it meant to find her true home.
March 2, 2021
Margaret Ghielmetti let's us into her life, love and travels in this well-written memoir. We get to vicariously go to Paris, Egypt, Thailand, Chicago all while watching her re-imagine herself from perfectionism to self-acceptance.
September 19, 2020
Brave(ish) is a moving story that makes sense of an individuals life while sharing a universal message that connects all of us who struggle to come into our own instead of living by others' rules. After taking the reader on an inspiring and heartfelt journey through the world, Ghielmetti offers questions at the end of the book that will make for excellent book club discussion or personal reflection.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and was especially touched by the ending.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and was especially touched by the ending.
November 3, 2020
Take a tour of the world and meet a very brave soul trying to figure out her find out her place. Well written, funny, honest and inspiring.
September 16, 2020
Thank you to Books Forward PR and She Writes Press for my gifted copy in exchange for an honest review:
I really loved this memoir that’s part travel, part finding oneself, and part relating to family. It was so readable, and relatable, I really didn’t want to put it down, and I especially didn’t want it to end.
Being stuck at home and not able to travel, this helped me to fulfill that lingering wanderlust I’ve been feeling. It also has inspired me to know that it’s ok to speak up for what I desire. Nothing will explode, no one will die.
I highly recommend this book!
Also, Margaret is an absolute joy to chat with!!
I really loved this memoir that’s part travel, part finding oneself, and part relating to family. It was so readable, and relatable, I really didn’t want to put it down, and I especially didn’t want it to end.
Being stuck at home and not able to travel, this helped me to fulfill that lingering wanderlust I’ve been feeling. It also has inspired me to know that it’s ok to speak up for what I desire. Nothing will explode, no one will die.
I highly recommend this book!
Also, Margaret is an absolute joy to chat with!!
February 22, 2022
I took this book on holiday. It was the absolute, best decision. Margaret enhanced my stay with her exotic adventures and heart felt trials and tribulations of being an expat, wife of a hotel GM and distance daughter – the latter being a topic close to my heart.
But it is more than a travel memoir. Margaret shares the turmoil of leaving family behind and the flip-flopping, brain-gym it entails. There’s no shortage of thought-provoking, seasons of life moments.
I recommend this book to anyone overdue for a book they can't put down. It's also perfect for anyone who has lost a parent afar. There's plenty you'll find of comfort. And of course perfectionists... it's a must.
But it is more than a travel memoir. Margaret shares the turmoil of leaving family behind and the flip-flopping, brain-gym it entails. There’s no shortage of thought-provoking, seasons of life moments.
I recommend this book to anyone overdue for a book they can't put down. It's also perfect for anyone who has lost a parent afar. There's plenty you'll find of comfort. And of course perfectionists... it's a must.
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