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302 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 22, 2020











“I said we treat OUR old ladies like queens. You’re not an old lady. You’re Reggie’s woman. I don’t need to respect you.” He pops a cigarette in his mouth. “The last I heard, he beat you so badly, you spent a week in the hospital.” He saunters past me and heads for the exit, lighting his cigarette.
“Do you kiss Reggie with that mouth?” Lake smirks. “Let’s just go,” says her friend on a sigh. “They’d never understand.” “Understand that a mob princess had the nerve to come here? I understand perfectly.”
Ziggy suddenly screeches and takes off towards the gates. He crashes into a little blonde and wraps her into a hug. Her little curls bounce from the impact and she giggles. “Malia, my daddy’s real name is Finn,” he announces, taking her hand and pulling her towards me. “He brought me to school today.”
“He’s a mob boss. He’ll always know where you are,” I point out. “He probably knows where you are the second you sign a new lease.”
ClubWhoreI shower and when I step back into my room, Bonnie, one of the club girls, is lying on my bed. It’s the same arrangement each night. She’s the only club girl I’ll have in my bed.
ClubWhore“You and Bonnie again last night?” puffs Chains, lifting the weights. “What’s that, a month at least? Are you taking her as your ol’ lady?” I shake my head. “She’s good at sucking cock, what can I say?” I snigger through the lie.
“We don’t pay them, so they’re not whores.” “Free accommodation. Free food. That’s the payment,” he points out.
“Are you bleeding?” she gasps. I nod and sit next to her. I find a tissue in my bag and press it to my lip, trying to blink away the tears that threaten to fall. “What the fuck happened? I was watching the whole time,” says Eva.
“He’s sneaky,” I mutter. “I should have listened to you. It was a bad idea to come.” “Yah think?” she hisses. “Fuck, he’s crazy.”
ClubWhoreI glance over and see a female rubbing up against Riggs with her arms wrapped around his neck. She’s part of his group. When he looks up at her, she plants a kiss on his lips, and he smiles and tucks his phone into his pocket.
ClubWhoreHe wraps his arm around her waist, and I feel disappointment creep in as I look away.
ClubWhore“One more drink and we’ll head back,” I say, and he relays it as Bonnie sets the tray on the table. She’s been glued to me all evening. I can’t exactly tell her to fuck off when she spends every night in my bed. It’s easier than explaining to the guys why I blow hot and cold with her.
ex WifeThere’s a commotion at the door that distracts me, and I spot Rock trying to block someone from getting in. I catch a glimpse of the blond and know instantly that it’s Michelle. “Fuck me,” I groan. I pass my beer to Cree and head over. “What are you doing here?”
She chews on her lower lip. “Oh my god, I let you kiss me and you have a girlfriend.” Her face is full of regret and worry. “You mean Bonnie?” I ask. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s . . . ” I pause. What do I say, my comfort blanket? Instead, I go with, “It’s complicated.”
“I made a move and she blew me off,” I sigh. “Where’s Bonnie?” Cree laughs and slaps me on the back. “Dust yah self off and carry on. I like it.”
ex Wife“And you? Could I have you back?” Giving her false hope would be cruel, so I shake my head. “Get better for Ziggy. He needs his mum around.” Michelle scoffs. “Your mum would never let me come back here. She’d die before letting me be around for Zigg.”
ex Wife “Lay with me?” she asks, taking me by the hand and leading me towards the bed. As I strip down to my shorts, my heart hurts. Being so close to her and yet so far away brings back too many bad memories. We climb under the sheets and she lays her head on my chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes. At least I know she’s safe tonight.
ClubWhoreI spot Bonnie coming out of Trucker’s room as I make my way down for breakfast. I do a double-take and she shrugs her shoulders. “What?” she asks. “You think I don’t need attention too?” I ignore her. The rules of the club are that any of the club girls are fair game unless a member claims them.
ClubWhoreShe swipes her cloth over the coffee table and then sighs. “Is it me?” she asks in a low voice. “I’ve been coming to your bed for weeks, but nothing ever happens. I need to know if it’s me.” I shake my head. “No. I told you before that I’m not looking for anything right now. Just the company.”
ClubWhore“But we don’t even speak. We fall asleep. It’s a little weird.” “Maybe we should call it a day. I have a lot going on right now and I don’t have the time to dedicate getting to know you properly right now. I’m sorry.”
“Well, she’s in his bed every night, but that doesn’t mean shit unless he lays claim to her,” he says. “Lay claim?” I repeat.
“Yeah. A biker usually lays claim to the girl he loves. Then she becomes his ol’ lady. Once he’s done that, they’re official. It’s like having a wife. No other brother can take her.”
ClubWhoreBonnie takes a seat on my lap, making sure to rub her ass against me. We’ve come to an understanding— she can fuck who she likes, but she spends the night in my bed. She rests back against me lazily.
ClubWhore“Pres, am I in your bed tonight?” asks Bonnie, sidling up to me on the blanket. I feel Anna glance briefly in our direction, but with Cree and Eva talking and my mum and Leia, I’m certain she didn’t hear. “I’ll let you know,” I mutter quietly. “It’s just I’m horny as fuck and I need—” I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.
“It’s always fucking busy in here. I know it sounds fucked up, but the only time I can sleep for more than an hour at a time is if someone’s sleeping next to me.” “Like a comfort blanket?” she mutters. “Maybe,” I shrug. “Who fucking knows? I just know it works, and if I don’t sleep, then this place goes to shit. I’m crazy when I’m tired.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t push me away like what we just shared wasn’t fucking hot. If that’s how hard you come from just my mouth, imagine what it’ll be like when I fuck you,” he whispers close to my ear. “You’re not the type of girl to fuck around, I hear that. But now I’ve had a taste of you, I won’t be letting you go easily.”
ClubWhoreThe cab arrives ten minutes later. I look over to see Riggs laughing with Bonnie. She’s on his lap again, and even though he’s told me there’s nothing sexual between them, I can’t stop the feeling of jealousy that drips through me when I see them looking so intimate.
“You’re kidding yourself. He’ll punish you by hurting those you love. I’m offering you protection. I’m not asking for you to share my bed or to be my ol’ lady. You won’t owe me anything. I just want to help you.”
“You realize this is all your fault?” Cree hisses at Anna. “You came into our bar and that made us a target. We don’t have a choice but to go to war with your fucking husband thanks to you because stepping down would make us look weak. You should have stayed on your own side of the tracks. But now you’re here, we have to protect you.” He pulls her to where Eva is sitting. “Look at her. This is what will keep happening if you ignore it. Now, get your shit together and come with us to the club or I will personally dump your ass back where it belongs.”
ClubWhore“Come on, Pres, let’s get you to bed,” says Bonnie. “Naked. I need skin,” he mumbles. He looks up and blinks a few times. “Anna?” “Anna,” Bonnie smiles awkwardly, “I don’t suppose you could help me get him to his room?”
ClubWhore
“I don’t have time now, Bonnie. We’ll talk tonight.” “That’s what you’ve been saying for the last few nights, and each time you fall to sleep. I want clarity. I need to know what you want,” she snaps.
ClubWhore
I rub a hand over my beard. “Shit, man, I’ve fucked up.” “Why?” “I tried it on with Bonnie the other night. Luckily, I was so drunk that I passed out, but that wasn’t before I practically begged her to fuck me.” Cree laughs hard and I groan. “It ain’t funny, brother.” “So that’s why she’s desperate to talk?”
ClubWhore
“Yeah. I reckon I said some crazy shit about trying to make things work and taking things to the next level. I’m usually so controlled and I blew it in one fucking night.”
ClubWhoreBonnie appears behind Anna and I groan. Like this couldn’t get much worse. “I’m waiting for you,” snaps Bonnie. “Do you wanna talk out here or in bed?”
ClubWhore“My life is fucking complicated, Bonnie. I don’t have time for relationships. It wouldn’t be fair to you.” “Jesus, if you’re gonna back out, at least be fucking honest,” she spits. “You’ve been eye-fucking Anna since the day she strolled into The Windsor. It’s clear you’re hot for her.” “She doesn’t feel the same way, so that’s not the issue.”
“Girls always read too much into things. She’s been sharing your bed. In her head, that made her close to becoming your ol’ lady,” she says. I pour the hot milk into a mug and hand it to her. “How did it go with Reggie?”
“Reggie’s cruel. His words, his actions, things he’d force me to do— he’s just cruel. He likes to show me that I’m not in control, he is. He likes pain, inflicting it. It gets him off,” she explains. I groan. I don’t need that image in my head.
ex Wife“Why did Michelle leave?” she adds. “I cheated on her,” I say, looking her directly in the eyes. “I cheated over and over. Broke her heart and she turned to drugs. Turns out, they made her happier than I did. Growing up in this life is hard. I watched the guys with the club whores. It’s just part of it.
“But I thought it was okay to cheat. She was pregnant and wasn’t interested in sex. I stupidly thought that mattered. Fuck, I was such an ass.”
“I don’t fucking want Bonnie. Anna, I love you,” I blurt out. “Just you.” I sigh. Anna stares at me. A range of emotions passes over her face. “Don’t make me sleep alone,” I add.
“Who do you think you are? You come along and think you can just take over and change the rules. You’ve been here two fuckin’ minutes and you’re making decisions about my kid?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I know you hate to talk. I think you’ve made yourself perfectly clear. All the picnics, the lazing around in the sun, the movie nights, all of those things this last week have meant nothing because we’re just fucking, right?!”
I shake my head. “Yah know what, Cree, I don’t think it’ll work between us. I love her. How mad is that? I haven’t known her long enough for that. We need to get this done with Reggie. Since those girls came into our lives, we’ve been fucking up all over the place. We’ve waited too long as it is because I’ve had my head full of her. Let’s call church in an hour and put a plan together.”
“I really like him, and he just threw everything in my face. I was the one who kept my distance and he convinced me we were worth the risk. I’ve watched him with Malia this week and it’s given me hope. Hope that we could be happy, all of us as a family.”
I stand by Michelle’s bed, watching her chest move up and down. A small part of me wishes I could love her like I used to. Maybe that would be enough for her to stay clean. But deep down, I don’t trust her, and I can’t put Ziggy through it all again.
“You know the guys are calling you Riggs’ ruin, right?” he asks, and I laugh. “Because you’ve ruined me for every other woman out there. There’s no one who comes close to you, Anna. Marry me?” He drops to one knee and I laugh nervously.