Sex and the iWorld: Rethinking Relationship beyond an Age of Individualism

by Dale S. Kuehne, Jean Elshtain (Foreword)

A pastor who is also a politics professor examines current issues pertaining to sexuality and society and asks, What kind of world are we creating? And is it the world we want to live in? With no finger-pointing, and a cordial openness to responses from all points of view, Dale Kuehne contrasts the "tWorld," in which traditional morality reigned and recent innovations would have been inconceivable, with the post-Enlightenment "iWorld," in which these innovations are promoted because the perceived immediate needs of the individual are paramount. Both, he finds, fall short of the "rWorld," the larger web of healthy and nourishing social relationships that provides the context for a biblical understanding of individual sexuality. This book will transform the conversation on sexuality among college students, campus ministers, church and ministry leaders, and all readers with an eye on culture and public policy.

EXCERPT
Even as the broader culture has deviated from the traditional understanding of sexual ethics and marriage, so have Christians. . . . Given the rapid shift in the sexual behavior of Christians, it should come as no surprise that when the church attempts to respond to the questions posed by the Sexual Revolution, it does so with mixed messages, a muted voice, and little impact. . . . The answer for the church is not to withdraw permanently from the public debate about sexual morality. Instead we need to step back, think deeply about what we believe, and rearticulate it in a better way. Most of all, we need to practice what we profess and in doing so, reengage the culture in a dialogue about the meaning of sexuality.

Genres: Christian, Sexuality, Relationships, Nonfiction, Cultural, Counselling, Theology

240 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2009

Reviews

[Dale Kuehne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since I'm the author, my guess is that I should never have listed my own book, but until I figure out how to de-list it... Given the subject matter, it was a really hard book to write, but I'm reasonably pleased how it turned out, though I know not everyone shares that opinion.:)I didn't like writing the book

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

The sexual and relational values and boundaries of Christian teaching, according to this book, are the solution to the radical freedom and materialistic views of the postmodern world.

I imagine some will argue with his definition of postmodernism, which, in my judgment is less POST-modern than it is simply taking modernism to its logical extreme. That said, he makes a compelling biblical and philosophical and practical case for finding the relational depth and personal well-being all humanity longs to experience in loving God and one's neighbor.

This book will keep you thinking long after you've closed it and set it aside.

[Amelia Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very intense read but very thought provoking. Looks at how the sexual revolution changed America and the impact of individualism on happiness. Definitely recommend.

[John Hayward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Philosophers see current post-modern thinking as anarchism and are all agreed that this is not a stable position for any society. However, anarchism is a transitional state. As shared values within our society are eroded and individualism takes hold, the ability of society to operate becomes dependent on some form of central coercion. If people don't agree on what to do, then nothing gets done unless someone takes charge. Thus the danger of what this book calls the iWorld is not in fact the risk from freedom for all to think and do what they like, it is totalitarianism. A politics professor and pastor, Dale Kuehne exposes the weaknesses of the iWorld, in which the interests of the individual take priority over all other concerns and also argues that the Church is wrong when it harks back to a former and inaccessible tWorld, in which traditional morality reigned; instead, prioritising love of God and neighbour, he presents the case for a more biblical rWorld, in which a larger web of healthy and nourishing social relationships provides the most personally fulfilling context for sexuality within marriage and for relational well-being, whether single or married.

[Carl Di-Palma · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have given this 3.5 rather than the 3, it didn't quite make it to 4 as it left too many unanswered questions for me.

What i did find helpful was Kuehne's analysis of how society has moved from the T world( traditional) of relationships, to the i world ( individualistic) and how this ( while not entirely all bad) has affected many aspects of our relationships not just sexual, not forgetting that we probably haven't seen the full effect / consequences of this paradigm shift yet. Kuehne then suggests rather than attempting to return to the T world ( which was not ideal) we instead attempt to live out what he calls the R world( relationships). This however, will require a bottom up collaborative effort from individuals to families, groups as well as governmental support in order for it to happen, but even then it will take time.

[Chris Bannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A clear, ambitious work of socio-political, philosophical analysis around the emergence of our present cultural moment, for so concise a volume. While the prospect of dethroning the iWorld for any alternative framework, prior to its full blown fruition in a Huxley-esque individualized social dystopia, seems increasingly remote, it remains a modest comfort to more fully understand the forces at work in the formation of this world and the manner in which they define the conversations of our day.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crucial for understanding the worldview of our predecessors - or our parents, and how it has shaped modern society today. However I'm not wholly convinced of the rWorld and its feasibility. I don't think modern society is willing to understand its value to the extent of adopting it. In the author's view the rWorld is worth individual sacrifice because life centered around relationships leads to the greatest possible amount of happiness and fulfillment. But I am hard-pressed to properly judge that it is truly worth the opportunity cost (perhaps because of my age), and it is difficult to believe that people would give up the pursuit of wealth and individualism for the connective matrix of those around them. Furthermore since the rWorld is at the present moment fictional it is difficult to gauge whether or not it truly delivers on its returns.

[David Rathel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kuehne argues the sexual revolution that occurred in the 1960's and 1970's ushered in a new worldview in Western society. He entitles this new worldview the iWorld, or the individual world, because contemporary culture is marked by a commitment to radical individualism.

Kuehne believes this radical individualism has hampered relational development among many in the West, and as an antidote he proposes a model entitled rWorld. This rWorld, or relational world, is marked by its commitment to relational development and lasting commitment. Kuehne offers helpful suggestions on how we can turn the West to this new rWorld. I find some of them to be rather compelling.

A great read on where we are, where we have been, and hopefully where we will one day end up!

[Joel Wentz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kuehne's invention and use of new terms "iWorld", "tWorld", and "rWorld" are quite effective in diagnosing our current cultural issues with sex, sexuality, and gender identity. I particularly appreciated the way he traced how key philosophies and thinkers (Nieztche, Voltaire, Aquinas, among others) have led our culture into this landscape. It's both a call to recognize some of our unhealthy attitudes, as well as a powerful vision of the way things could be if we seek fulfillment in healthy relational networks, as opposed to individualized self-actuality. If you are interested in peeling back some of the layers on our culture, and if you find yourself frustrated by the pervasive self-centered-relativism in America, I highly recommend this!

[Daniel Mcgregor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was afraid this book was going to be one in a long list of books about pornography and why it is destructive to the human soul. Though those books have their place, I was not looking to read something that I was already convinced of. Kuehne provides a much bigger and much more impressive project. He explores how we define relationships and the telos of those relationships. The first 2/3 of this book is critically insightful. The last 1/3 is not as interesting, if only because by this time I am convinced that culture defining relationships by what one gets out of them, contractually, and consumeristically is doomed to failure.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genius! Simply can't recommend this more highly. His analysis of contemporary culture (the iWorld)is spoton and serves to identify why issues regarding gender, sexual identity, same-sex atraction, etc. play so much a part of our current societal conversation, and why as Christians we often find ourselves defensively fighting battles over these issues.
His distinction between the tWorld (tradition) and rWorld (relational) needs to be understood by anyone attempting to hold out for "traditional values" in regards to sexuality and marriage.

[Eleanor Gustafson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important book, in that Dr. Kuehne contrasts the the tWorld of traditional values with the current iWorld of gratifying immediate needs. In today's world, everyone longs for deep, satisfying relationships but mostly looks for them in the wrong ways and places. He then lines out the rWorld that offers not only better people relationships, but also and more importantly, our relationship with God in whose image we are created. I am looking forward to his sequel that will develop the rWorld concept more fully.

[Eddie Snipes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because it was written by the son-inlaw of someone in my writer's guild. I was pleasantly surprised. He explores the underlying social ideaologies that shape the way our culture views sexuality, and how the Christian can approach engage and influence the postmodern culture with the Christian message.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book for a Bible study. It is thoughtfully, intelligently and humbly written. It puts into words a lot of thoughts I've had about our culture and evangelical Christianity within our culture, but is also an eye-opening perspective-changer.

[Gina Dalfonzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful and often powerful. It provides a helpful paradigm for looking at the current state of our culture and figuring out where it could and should go from here. Four-and-a-half stars, rounded up to five.

[Dan Rudd]

Thought provoking looking into living the the relational world rather than the individual world.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful picture of our cultural values and a compelling perspective on a better way to live