Why Women Are Blamed for Everything: Exploring Victim Blaming of Women Subjected to Violence and Trauma

by Jessica Taylor

She asked for it. She was flirting. She was drinking. She was wearing a revealing dress. She was too confident. She walked home alone. She stayed in that relationship. She was naïve. She didn’t report soon enough. She didn’t fight back. She wanted it. She lied about it. She comes from a bad area. She was vulnerable. She should have known. She should have seen it coming. She should have protected herself.

Victim blaming of women is prevalent and normalised in society.

What causes us to blame women who have been abused, raped, trafficked, assaulted or harassed by men? Why are we uncomfortable with placing all of the blame on perpetrators for their crimes against women?

Based on three years of doctoral research and ten years of practice with women and girls, Dr Jessica Taylor explores the many reasons we blame women for male violence committed against them. Written in her unique style and backed up by decades of evidence, this book exposes the powerful forces in society and individual psychology which compel us to blame women subjected to male violence.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Psychology, Womens, Feminist Theory, Politics, Science

328 pages, Paperback

First published July 16, 2020

About the author

Chartered Psychologist | Sunday Times Bestselling Author |

Director of VictimFocus | Speaker | Researcher

Alma mater: University of Birmingham (PhD) and The Open University (BSc)

Reviews

[Psych Lady · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book I was looking forward to reading and I bought several copies as gifts. Having read it, I wish I had waited before buying copies for other people. The author is undoubtedly an expert on victim blaming and she has some interesting ideas, but this book has some serious problems. It is marketed by the author as being based on her PhD and ten years of working in the field. However, it is sloppily written, contains factual and grammatical errors, is littered with generalisations and the author sometimes cherry picks from the research literature and as a result, gives a misleading impression of what the research tells us about certain topics. The book is written for a general audience which is a good thing. The phenomenon of victim blaming is a serious issue and should be widely understood. The problem with this book is that it does not do justice to the topic. This book would not be published by an academic publisher because it would not withstand peer review - at least not in its current form. The text taken from her PhD is generally fine. The problem is the large amount of additional text, some of which is taken from the author’s blogs, and this material is of poor quality.

The book contains sentences in need of some simple editing. For example, on p. 195 there is a single sentence that is 120+ words long. On nearby pages, there are sentences that are 70-80 words in length (pp. 192, 193). Poorly constructed sentences like these appear throughout the book and could easily have been revised by a competent copy editor.

Rape myths are defined differently by the author in different parts of the book. This does not add to clarity of understanding, particularly when Taylor’s version of a definition differs to the definition found in the source she cites: pp. 39, 61, 92. It would have been easier to quote the source and this would have avoided Taylor’s use of a circular definition that includes: ‘Rape myths are common societal myths…’ (p 61). In another example of sloppiness, on p. 47 the author states: ‘I have found the use of specific examples to be useful and effective when demonstrating the impact and prevalence of victim blaming’. It should go without saying that examples cannot prove the prevalence of anything. In her list of key terms on p. 13, Taylor gets the legal definition of rape wrong. It is not a UK definition as she claims, and she misses out the reasonable belief element of the definition. Competent peer reviewing would have identified such basic errors.

Equally concerning is the author’s seeming lack of awareness of key research. As a result, Taylor makes claims that are either factually wrong or are in dispute. We see this in her discussion of topics, including self-defence classes for women; safety campaigns that focus on women and alcohol consumption; policing and victim blaming; pornography and the impact of online games on attitudes and behaviour. She dismisses self-defence classes for women as victim-blaming, yet never properly engages with the relevant literature on the feminist self-defence movement which has been written about for the last four decades. I agree with Taylor’s criticism of posters that warn women about their drinking and vulnerability – it is classic victim blaming. There are, however, campaigns that focus on the rapist/abuser and are arguably a model for other public education campaigns. Her claims regarding the impact of online games and pornography are directly contradicted by studies that she ignores. Another problem is that Taylor cites research that is years out-of-date and from outside the UK as if it gives insight into contemporary professional practice in the UK. It doesn’t.

One area which I feel compelled to comment on is how Taylor deals with data on sexual violence in schools. On a single page she makes multiple errors – some are minor and others, are more serious. Either way, the number of errors on p. 158 illustrate the sloppy way parts of this book have been put together. First, on p. 158 she states: ‘5500 sexual offences were committed by school children against other school children within the school between 2012-2015 which included 600 rapes’. Taylor is referencing the Women and Equalities Committee Parliamentary report on sexual violence in schools. This is what the report states: ’Data published in September 2015 showed that 5,500 sexual offences were recorded in UK schools over a three-year period, including 600 rapes’ (p. 5, see also: p. 7).

The report refers to offences that ‘were recorded’, not ‘committed’ as Taylor incorrectly claims. The distinction is significant – there is an important difference between recorded offences and offences that can be proven to have been committed – particularly in cases involving children under the age of criminal responsibility. Second, the report makes no reference to the 5,500 cases being perpetrated by school children. The reason for this is clear, if one goes to the BBC news source in footnote 1 of the Committee report. The source states: ‘At least a fifth of offences were carried out by children, so called “peer-on-peer” abuse, but details about the rest of the assaults are not known’. The Committee report is accurate in its use of the source, while Taylor is not accurately recounting what the report says. Third, there appears to be a word or words missing on p. 158 when Taylor states: ‘59% of girls had been sexually harassed in their school or environment’. It is unclear what she means by 'environment' and it doesn't make much sense. The Women and Equalities Committee report, which is her source, refers to ‘school or college’ (p. 7). Fourth, on p. 158 Taylor states the following: ‘22% of girls aged 7-12 years old reported experienced [sic] “sexual jokes” or “sexual banter” from boys at school’. Leaving aside another error in written English, the Committee’s version (p. 7), and its source, Girlguiding (para. 10) says: ‘22% of girls aged 7-12 had experienced jokes of a sexual nature from boys’. Nothing is said about these things only happening at school as claimed by Taylor. Further, her two quotes do not appear in the text (or in either source generally) so there is no reason to put the words in quotation marks. This assortment of errors on a single page is not only a product of poor writing and copy editing, but is also a failure to accurately convey what a source has said.

[Davina Daniels · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a feminist, I believe the subject matter of this book is incredibly important. However as a professional and as an academic, I have no choice but to admit this book is badly researched, full of misleading "quotes" which aren't quotes at all and sloppily cited. the jumbled mix of thesis and blog is low-quality, and this book does a disservice to the incredibly important and under-researched topic of victim blaming. I'm not at all surprised the book is self-published.
In this review I have highlighted some of Dr Taylor's many oversights as well as some of the deliberately misleading information in the book.

On p. 160 there is quote: ‘shock tactics’ which Dr Taylor claims comes from the Women and Equalities Committee Parliamentary report on sexual violence in schools. The quote does not appear anywhere in the report. On the same page, Taylor states that ‘Teachers excused the sexual assault ...’ The report on p. 10 refers to teenagers, not teachers. Still on p. 160, Taylor discusses sexting and quotes from an NSPCC report: ‘girls are sluts but boys are congratulated’. This quote does not appear anywhere in the NSPCC report. Presumably, this is Taylor’s interpretation of comments on p. 7 of the report. Why it appears in quotation marks is unclear. On p. 161 there is another quote that does not appear in the NSPCC report: ‘it wasn’t like they were raping them, it was only touching them up’. Again, this is presumably Taylor’s interpretation of comments made on p. 32 of the report, but it is still a made up quote.

Drawing from the NSPCC report (pp. 27-29, 31, 44, 50), Taylor tells the story of Kylie who was in a relationship with a boy who ‘would try and dictate what she wore’ (NSPCC p. 29). Taylor claims that Kylie ‘told an interviewer that she was asked to write ‘JASON OWNS ME’ across her breasts by her boyfriend’. While reference is made to this phrase in the report (p. 28), It is only in the context of giving an example of typical behaviour by boys and nothing to do with Kylie.

Taylor also claims Kylie’s boyfriend said to her that if she wore shorts under her skirt ‘no one could say she was asking for it’. Kylie never said any such thing and the phrase ‘asking for it’ does not even appear in the NSPCC report.

In response to other claims made by Taylor on p. 161 — Kylie did not say her boyfriend advised her to wear shorts under her skirt, nor does Kylie say he checked under her skirt everyday to see if she wore shorts, nor that he expected her to wear shorts in hot weather. In fact, Kylie says she wore shorts precisely because the weather was hot. Kylie challenged her boyfriend when he complained about her wearing shorts and wanted to know why she wasn’t wearing tights: ‘it’s hot, why do I have to wear tights, I’m wearing shorts’, ‘I don’t care, I’m wearing shorts, so in summer you are telling me I can’t go out in shorts’ (p. 29).
Taylor claims that Kylie’s boyfriend’s name is Jason (p. 161). His name is never mentioned by Kylie.

This is shocking because the author is an advocate of encouraging women and girls to speak out. The story of Kylie could have been recounted by respecting her words and experience rather than creating a fake narrative. Kylie’s words concerning her boyfriend’s behaviour are powerful. Beyond that, I struggle to understand why an author would construct a false narrative.

One of the unusual reactions to negative reviews of this book has been the author’s declaration that her legal team checked all her ‘references and citations’ and found ‘no issues’. The legal team can’t have checked very carefully. The book contains multiple citation errors. The problem is that some authors/co-authors cited in the main body of the book are not listed in the bibliography and when they are, they are not necessarily in alphabetical order so it is worth carefully checking before concluding a source is not listed.

To get to specifics, when reading the book there was a citation to a source I wanted to read. I discovered the source wasn’t listed in the bibliography. So when I spent ten minutes checking nearby pages this is what I found. From p. 154 to p. 173 there are a total of 19 citation errors involving 13 different authors/co-authors. In these instances, anyone wanting to know where Taylor gets her information from will be disappointed because no source is listed.

On p. 115 Taylor claims victims: ‘are often asked victim-blaming questions about what they were wearing, their prior sexual history, their prior relationship with the perpetrator, how they behaved during and after the assault, their reasons for not reporting sooner and the nature of their previous sexual encounters or relationships with men’. For such an extraordinary claim, one would expect to see the citation of rigorously conducted domestic research. That’s not what we get.

Taylor doesn’t tell us in which specific police forces these things are happening, but claims the questioning ‘often’ occurs during ‘achieving best evidence’ interviews. ABE interviews are used by domestic police forces to interview children, vulnerable and intimidated witnesses. ABE guidance and training does not endorse the questioning regime she describes. To put it simply, her sources provide zero evidence that such questioning ‘often’ occurs in ABE interviews in the U.K.

The evidence she does reference is from North America. This is where she gets her reference to clothing, late reporting etc. The studies cited are 11, 14 and 15 years old. This tells us nothing about contemporary practice and because her sources are North American they are simply irrelevant to the ABE claim she makes.

Taylor could have cited relevant domestic sources on police questioning of sexual offence victims, but none would support her sweeping generalisation. She also cites something she calls ABE (2013), which is not listed in the bibliography.

Taylor makes poor use of the important research of Peggy Reeves Sanday who has examined the existence or absence of rape in different cultures. Taylor claims that ‘Sanday (2003) could not identify any rape-free cultures in the world’ (p. 134). Before summarily dismissing her findings, Taylor also states that a key issue in the context of Sanday’s work is whether rape free cultures ‘were in fact feminist cultures that challenged patriarchy’ (p.134).

Contrary to Taylor’s claim, Sanday found that in 47% of the 95 societies she surveyed rape was ‘absent or rare’ (Sanday, p. 340). ‘Rape free’, according to Sanday’s definition, means there is ‘no evidence rape [is] commonplace’ (p. 359). Sanday identifies key differences between ‘rape free’ and ‘rape prone’ cultures throughout her chapter. Some of the ‘rape free’ societies might be described as having a feminist cultural ethos of mutual care, nurture, and respect between males and females. Taylor appears to have missed all of this.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, we find yet another citation error - Sanday (2003) appears in a collection edited by Cheryl Brown Travis, called Evolution, Gender and Rape (2003). I give the title so any interested reader can find the source. It is not listed in Taylor’s bibliography.

Taylor also claims (p.134) that in her 2003 chapter, Sanday references the work of Otterbein (1979). First, no she doesn’t. Second, Otterbein (1979) is not listed in Taylor’s bibliography - as a reviewer, I am getting very bored saying this.

The quality gap between the content of the book taken from Taylor’s PhD and her blogs/other added text is huge. Ranting on social media is one thing, but to charge money for a book with so many errors, fake quotes and a fake narrative is inexcusable. Since I have a day job, I do not plan on spending more time reviewing this book. It is a disappointing read. The subject matter deserves better.

[Vee 27 · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book last year. I'm a PhD student researching in the field of violence against women, and whilst academically Jessica Taylor isn't particularly revered or respected, her name gets thrown around a lot in front line services. I thought I'd read the book.

I get why. Her writing is clear, accessible and not behind paywalls of academic journals. To ensure that she can write how she likes, Taylor self publishes everything, including this book. It's based off her PhD, but the book itself isn't peer reviewed which means that shoddy research, bad grammar, clumsy syntax and dated research are never questioned. Academic work ought to be more accessible - on that we agree - but peer reviewing exists for a reason. Whilst this book is accessible it often isn't factually correct and she uses broad sweeping statements to gloss over nuances needed in politically contentious research such as sexual violence.

It's difficult to take Taylor's work seriously which is a shame because I'm sure she has a lot to contribute. However, if she refuses to allow her work to be peer reviewed and brushes off any criticism as misogyny (sometimes it is, sometimes it's just criticism against bad research) then survivors of sexual violence are being let down.

One star. I don't enjoy books which waste my time.

[Haven Hightower · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a significant read for me on so many levels. Knowing my own experience with assault and having heard the stories of so many other women, the accounts in this book reflected emotions that are all too familiar. We focus so much on the modifiable factors that lead to instances of violence against women, all our efforts go to what we can do to protect ourselves in bad situations. This makes it easy to lose sight of the fact that the fault is not on the victim when it comes to rape. It seems clear to me that if we spent the same amount of time talking to boys/men about their actions as we do teaching women how to respond/protect themselves against rape we'd perhaps have more encouraging statistics.

[Kit · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little terf-y, VERY swerf-y, extremely repetitious (literal paragraphs and sentences were transposed), some sus citations, made ZERO mention of trans women (in a book about rape culture and victim blaming? C'mon.)

It was good if you ignored all that stuff, though. That sounds shitty but I mean it. When she was on she was ON.

Don't buy it though. If you want to read it get it from the library.

[Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is brilliant. It's challenged my thinking, made me angry and WILL push me to be aware of the issues raised AND campaign to do something about them

[Deborah Siddoway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a book that was long overdue. That said, I am going to start with some of the problems. The first of which is that the layout is a little distracting. The body of the text should have been spaced a little better, and the text should have been justified, because on the page the layout grated for me. I know I shouldn't judge a book by its layout, but as it was an irritant for me, I thought this was something that could easily be rectified. Also, while her reference list is handy, what I also really wished for was an index. That too should go into any further editions of the book.

With my little irritations out of the way, it is best to move on to what is really important, the content of the book itself. The subject matter was presented in a powerful and informed manner, and left me simmering with rage. Male power, male privilege, male dominance and male violence are at the heart of this book and Dr Taylor confronts head on any of the plaintive cries of "not all men" and what she calls the "whatboutery", which she directly correlates with misogyny, where whenever any issue is raised in connection with women, the endless echo back seems to be whatabout the men? As she states, rather bluntly, if you are looking for a section in the book about men and boys, this is not the book for you.

In placing women's trauma at the heart of the book, Dr Taylor is able to deconstruct the narratives that lead to the blaming of women subjected to male violence for their own trauma and the reasons underlying this. Dr Taylor relies on her extensive research and experience within the field in doing so. The book challenges you to confront your own internalised prejudices and assumptions in your consideration of male violence against women and it also allowed me to reconsider some of my own responses to male aggression and to stop looking for what I did to 'encourage' or 'invite' that aggression.

This is not an easy book to read. I think if it wants to reach a broader audience it could do with being a little less academic, but it is a book that should be read more widely.

We need to stop blaming women for male violence. Women have no responsibility for the violence of men. None. She should not have needed to say this, but because of the way in which society does blame women for their own trauma, her book does say this, and says it loudly.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Based on the title you would expect this book to be a lot of speeches with emotionally evocative language and anecdotal examples. It is exactly the opposite though. The author organizes and lays out extremely clearly and specifically the reasons women are blamed for rape and male violence and then outlines exactly how they are applied in the general population, in the criminal justice system, in our culture, in family and friend groups, in the media, in the education system, by mental health professionals, and by the women themselves. Her approach is so thorough and so logical it would be extremely difficult to argue with.

I actually learned about this book because I read a social media post regarding the intensely threatening tactics online stalkers and trolls used to try to stop the author from publishing. It’s horrifying but I can see why. It has real potential to change things. There’s nothing about this that’s very rhetorical or subjective, it’s all very clear and specific and would be quite easy to refer to for anyone interested in changing their conversations, policies or approaches to sexual violence both personally and in schools, law enforcement, the media, etc.

I hope this book gets the attention it deserves.

[Susanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a must read - especially for men. And excellent, eye opening and important read. Found this incredibly hard hitting and, at times, upsetting so I’d recommend reading this slowly so that you can take necessary breaks as well as time to absorb each section. Would have gave this 5 stars but I found some elements a tad ‘research method’ heavy towards the end - but I understand that to be a necessary part of psychological research.

[Catherine Lai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yeah, finally finished this tough and thick book, that I've put away for ages! It is not that this book is badly written that caused me to be put off from finishing it; it is simply the fact that the author has done a brilliant job in shedding facts and lights into victim blaming, especially when it is on crimes that involves women. Even making minor jokes on rape are not spared in this book 😬(which kind of reminded me of a special case that happened recently)

The author is a researcher, lecturer and feminist herself. Thus, the book contains a lot of past and current researches (both quantitative and qualitative) and jargons that someone from the field of feminism and psychology can understand. At first they sound a bit draggy, but as i read on in the later chapters, i found that they help make her argument in her thesis and in this book a sound and relevant one.

Overall, I love the depth and quality of the book , which i did not regret reading it slowly through the lens of a woman and a fellow academician.

[Linda Rowan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This topic is very important, and this book could have been great but it wasn't. The writing felt messy, unnecessarily wordy and very repetitive. I was disappointed.

[Miya (severe pain struggles, slower at the moment) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting, eye opening, inspiring, empowering, informative, it is all there. Great and easy read for all humans. It is not text book like, so it is great for young folks as well. Lovely read! Be prepared to get emotional and deeply passionate about women!

[Eve Batten · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book took me over 2 years to read. i think it’s SUCH an important subject matter and there were some crucial bits but it was really sloppily written with assumptions made.

[Dom Hargreaves · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmmm this was an interesting book! Some of the points Taylor puts across are so important and they were really interesting!! This like BJW and the dichotomous way women blame themselves vs others is really important in today's society and I LOVED two things - (1) How she took apart other research in a clear objective way, and took apart her own research in that way and (2) How she suggested more than one way of thinking in MANY places. My issues with this book, though, were that in SOME places, Taylor felt slightly repetitive, and also that there were some points where I just annotated "??". Sometimes I felt what was said in 30 pages was said in the first 10, and that Taylor could have used that space to explore alternate ideas instead of rehashing ones she had covered really well! Also in some places I feel it was slightly underexplained (I know I'm just completely undercutting myself here!), and that there were slight leaps from results of a study to a conclusion. Other than those two points though, this book was really eye-opening and interesting, especially from a male readership P.O.V and I just think this book had such amazing potential, but only hit about 3/4 of it (IN MY OPINION!). Really great writing in some places also, good job Taylor!

[Ami · Rating 3 out of 5]

A brilliant book, that thoroughly explores the misogyny and victim-blaming steeped in our culture and society.

The book is, however, let down by the prolific grammar, punctuation, language, and formatting errors. There were numerous spelling mistakes, missing brackets, errant commas, etc.

Nevertheless, an important book that will hopefully champion significant change in policy, healthcare, and society as a whole.

[Jessica Hay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts of this book were interesting, the authors research into scenario based victim blaming was fascinating, however although data based I wanted more justification from the respondents as to why they blame the women in the scenarios - make them account for it.
This is very much a piece of research rather than a ‘book’ there is a lot of repetition and a real mix of ‘this is the data’ and ‘this is clearly the authors opinion’. Also of note a lot of the cited research into police victim blaming is from the early 2000’s, quite outdated for a book completed in 2020.
A somewhat interesting read, but I don’t know if it taught me anything I didn’t already know, and could have easily been 100 pages shorter.

[Catherine]

I’ve had this on my list for a few years and I was excited to finally get to reading it. However, after reading several of the reviews that came with receipts about incorrect citations and quotes, as well as statements that the author’s research has not been peer reviewed, I’ve chosen to not read it. I think it would be irresponsible to read the book knowing that some of the information is inaccurate. I’m disappointed and hope I can find another book on the topic to read.

[Emily Johnson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Using stories of abuse from patients who didn’t consent is wildly unethical, I can’t imagine how retraumizing it is for them as they’re learning you did this to them by reading your book, exploiting patients’ trauma to make money and further your career is against medical codes of conduct and I hope these patients report you

[Salomé Doré · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me angry (which I expected) !
It was such an interesting read and I strongly recommend everyone to read it.

[Esperance A Mulonda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite having a great message and great resources. This book could have been so much shorter. I love reading theory as much as the next person but most of these need to be trimmed down. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Sophie Cannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me angry start to finish. I’d recommend it

[Elena Ratoi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Prea multe chestii se repeta in carte. Aveam impresia ca citeam aceleași fraze de câteva ori. În rest, analiza se merita a fi citită.

[Sian A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very thorough and powerful book on victim blaming of women after sexual violence committed by men. Lots of food for thought but also some disturbing segments. Would have preferred less of the "methods section of a PhD thesis" parts however. I would also have liked more specifics from the author of how she would recommend teaching about/preventing violence against women rather than just what was shown to be harmful.

[Dan Edge · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dr Taylor has been accused of using a personal story in this book without the vixtim's consent. Even if she had their consent, the person has clearly requested for their story to be removed from the book. Dr Taylor has yet to respond, or even acknowledge, this request. The questionalble ethical standards behind this book are what have led me to give it 1 star. However, even without this issue, I would struggle to give it more than 3 stars.

It is hard to know whether this book is an academic text or a "pop science" book. As it tries so hard to be both, unfortunately, it fails to do either to a good standard.

Academically, it is poorly referenced with many citations not having the full, or complete, reference provided. There is a lot of repetition with many paragraphs throughout saying exactly the same thing, just worded slightly differently. Three chapters are basically condensed versions of studies that the author has completed, all of which have limitations and flaws which are only briefly identified at the end of the book and not really examined in any great detail. For example, within her qualitative research Dr Taylor does not provide any reflexive account regarding how her subjective position as a feminist academic, who has been subjected to male violence,may have influenced her analysis of the data. She briefly talks about how data was analysed and verified by more than one person but this is very vague and almost appears to be an afterthought. Stuff like this is likely the reason behind why you can not find any of the studies in this book published in peer reviewed academic journals as they would likely need ALOT of amendments.

The book works better when viewed with a pop science lense, but there are these interludes where Dr Taylor dives into heavy(potentially flawed) academic studies that she has conducted, which are too detailed for a pop science book, but then not detailed enough for an academic book. Regardless, the repetive sentences and grammatical issues remain a problem.

As a man, this book was hard to read and my gender has likely influenced my ability to review this book objectively. Within this book, men are positioned as sexual predators who harm women, and women are positioned as victims. This is understandable, considering the focus of the book, however the alternatives of women commiting sexual acts of violence against other women, or indeed men/boys being victims of sexual violence from other men (or women) is not even recognised as something which is possible.

Dr Taylor does provide some interesting ideas and suggestions about violence against women and victim blaming. I think this book would have been much better if she had just shared her ideas and then submitted her academic studies for publication in a peer reviewed scientific journal.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poorly written and quite dull. Whoever edited this book needs firing as the paragraphing and sentence structure is mad. I read the whole thing though and there were a couple of interesting insights - probably could have done with being 200 pages shorter.
Edit: also just read some of the other reviews detailing all the misquotes and false narratives. Such an important topic deserved better :(

[Tim Pieraccini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Taylor can be applauded for putting together a work which is rigorous, comprehensive and yet very readable. The examination of how well-meaning advice to women is part of victim-blaming was particularly helpful to this reader. Because of the complexity of the data and the numerous factors involved in the attribution of blame, solutions to the problem seem hard to come by, but Dr Taylor's concluding statement is unequivocal:

"Men are 100% responsible for male violence.
Women and girls carry 0% of the blame. Ever.
None.
Nada.
Zero."

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Admirable, but poorly executed. This is a good first draft but needs more work. A lot of repetition and probably not interesting or accessible enough to the general reader.

[Deb Lonnon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt I needed to read this and at times wished I had never started. It's quite academic, which has been a bit of a challenge for me, as I am out of practice, but it was worth sticking with it. It's also a little poorly edited and proof read in places (Sorry! My brain goes straight for a typo!)

It's also immensely depressing.

An in depth exploration of rape myths and the people that believe them, from this experiencing sexual violence to people working in the criminal justice system and people working in support services.

There is a fair amount of pscho-social study to support the authors views, but a huge amount of contra-findings depending on the study examined, which leads to a fragmented landscape in which I felt a little hopeless of change..

Things I have learned.

Police officers going through training to help them question rape myths ended up *more* entre ched in their views.

The CPS is more likely to attempt to prosecute a 'classic rape' (random, street attack, young attractive (white) woman - preferably sober and chaste) than any other kind and that doesn't guarantee a result.

Really interesting studies in race and ethnicity and the type of rape myth that is prevalent in different cultures depending on nuanced sterotypical views of women.

Older women more likely to be victim to rape in their own homes by a stranger - but as we didn't hold stats on women over 60 until recently, it's difficult to say.

The statutory response to rape, sexual coercion and abuse seems to be 'Women and girls educate yourselves' rather than 'men and boys, don't be a rapist'. We have to do the work and even when we do, it's still our fault.

It does end with some suggested actions for HMG/statutory services which are helpful and generally sensible.

In summary, I need to read something fun and feminist utopia next - but googling 'books where bad things don't happen to women' hasn't given me any strong leads.

I would like to see this author write something with a slightly more intellectually inclusive approach, so that her strength and approach reaches many more women and girls.

[Alice · Rating 2 out of 5]

tw sa
This has really important messages in it, and should be required reading for anyone working in rape centres, sexual violence services, psychology, the criminal justice system, etc. I'd like to disagree with one or two points - firstly, Dr Jessica Taylor says that 'I have written it to be accessible to as many people as possible and I have refrained from writing a traditional academic textbook based on my findings.' Unfortunately, I'm not sure if the book is as accessible or easy to digest and pick up as it was supposed to be, the beginning was extremely effective, and so were the sections of interviews with women who had been blamed for being subjected to male violence, and the interviews with professionals working in SA services. However, the presentation of data and statistics, though deeply important, is not going to reach people who aren't purposefully seeking out information on feminist topics. It's still definitely written in a scientific, heavy way, with a lot of repetition - not for the general public's consumption, which is a pity, because the more people that literature like this reaches, the better. I also believe it was a harmful choice to use the UK Sexual Offences Act (2003) definition of rape in the glossary at the beginning of the book, as rape is defined as 'an act by a man who intentionally penetrates the vaina, mouth or anus with a penis when the other person does not consent. Whilst anyone can be raped, only men can commit rape with a penis.' I think it's obvious why the defnition is harmful, and obviously Dr Taylor doesn't have control over what's in the law, but she does have control over what is being published in her book, and what definition she chooses to use, highlight and emphasise as the 'correct' definition. Anyone can rape, and highlighting this definition erases the lived experiences of those whose rapists were women, or didn't have a penis, or sexually assaulted them without penetrative acts. There's also a terf dogwhistle about 'denial of sex' on page 7, which is unfortunate.

[Lisa Butler · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished this book because I felt I needed too, however what I didn't realise was this was a very academic book based on her research. At times it felt like a good narrative but then it seemed to switch to a lot of research which made it confusing to follow at times. Also I found that a lot of the research she used was old for such new research.. For example when talking about how the police handle rape cases it was research from early 2000 and was quite negative. I would hope things have changed since then but perhaps I'm wrong as women still get blamed for male violence.

I brought this book based on the title and what I knew the subject matter was and I thought it would be more of an exploration of why victim blaming exists. We all know it exists but it was more of a exploration of what we already know with no real insite. It was an interesting read but it didn't teach me anything I didn't already know.

My favourite line from the book that resonates with me is ....
"The responsibility and blame sits squarely with the oppressor and the oppressive structures that allow the oppression to continue. It is not on the shoulders of the victim of abuse and oppression to protect themselves from the oppressor"

It's so awful that we live in a world where only "classic" rape or violence will ever get a conviction and that means that the woman is described as not too pretty to excite the man intentionally, wearing the right clothes not too provocative, has a good job, no mental health issues, no criminal convictions, didn't drink or take drugs, took place in daylight, she protected herself and screamed and attacked back and it was by a stranger and also witnessed. God help the women that don't fall into this category because you will never be believed.

I could of just turned to the back page to get the answer I wanted that women are not too blame at all for any male violence.