Scott Mason lives alone—but he never feels alone. Everywhere he goes, the spirits of the dead call to him for help. The threat of unwanted touch and the flood of memory and emotion that always comes with it forces him to hide behind long sleeves and gloves. He exists in fearful seclusion compounded by his schizophrenia, which keeps him separate and untrusted in his small-town community. His only comforts are the stability of his part-time work at the library and the affection of the elderly woman who took him in as a homeless teen. Life is quiet and steady and medicated, and Scott doesn't dare to wish for anything more.
Until Finch. The vibrant, green-haired musician just moved in next door and seems determined to make friends with his reclusive neighbor.Finch is everything Scott can never be—friendly, carefree, talented, and, most importantly, he doesn't have to worry about being accosted by the restless dead at the checkout counter. He also does something no one has ever done for Scott before—he doesn't treat him like he's sick.
Companionship is uncharted territory, and Scott fears he can't keep his ghosts hidden for long. When Finch shows an interest in being more than friends, Scott will fast lose his grip on his quiet and steady world.
Book safety, updated content warnings, and tropes down below. "You belong in a cell like that,” Finch said, and Scott flinched, looking up into the other man's face with a pit in his stomach. “What?” he whispered. Finch tilted his head at him. “I said, 'are you up for a road trip?' It's about an hour drive."
I'm struggling with finding the words to describe this book, as it's unlike anything I've read before, I think. It's a mixture of mental health, mental illness and the paranormal. Struggling alongside Scott and trying to figure out if what he sees and hears is a result of his schizophrenia, or if it's ghosts, or if it's just reality was very unsettling at times, but so well done.
What made it heavy was the descriptions of Scott's depression and struggle with mental health and mental illness. You can tell the author either has personal experience or consulted with someone who does, because it was all very real, and I imagine I'm not the only person that will be able to recognize a lot of what this character thought and felt. Scott resigned himself to spending the afternoon pretending he was going to do the laundry. In reality, he took a nap, put on a movie on Netflix, then counted the odd numbers from 511 up to 627 and backwards by threes to distract himself from the thought of swallowing all of his remaining pills.
The book doesn't pull its punches when it comes to describing what it's like to live with depression and taking anti-depressants, among other medications. Scott struggles with keeping both himself and his living space clean. He can't sleep, but he can't focus on other things either. He's unmotivated, and his eventual sex life is almost ruined by the medication he's on. It's all very real and not at all romanticized. What was the point of so much medication, of therapy, of feeling nothing and wanting nothing and fighting to sleep at night just so that he could wake up ready for bed again?
Scott's mother is likely sick herself, and instead of getting him help, she would use him and manipulate him and make the problem worse. She made me so angry while reading.
I haven't even mentioned Scott's love interest yet: Finch. This book is very much centered around Scott, but I enjoyed Finch's character as well. He was relatively uncomplicated, which I think was necessary, honestly. Everything else that happens and Scott's struggles was more than enough. That's not to say that Finch's character was flat or uninteresting, he just didn't take center stage until very late in the book when we needed him.
I'm giving it 5 stars, but there was a couple of things that bothered me. Scott is referred to as 'the brunette' what felt like a thousand times. It threw me off the first couple of times, but eventually it just felt bizarre. The second thing was the changing perspectives. I love dual POV, but I was confused several times while reading, because there was no clear markation or indication as to whose POV it was. Even though I’ll be seeing the words ‘the brunette’ in my dreams, this book is so fucking good. The completely unique, harrowing and beautiful story totally makes up for the sometimes dodgy editing.
I’ve read it two times now and I love it so much.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️ Mental health rep Psychic/medium Ghost whisperer Schizophrenic MC Librarian MC Musician MC Hurt/comfort Found family Paranormal Slow burn Push and pull Virgin MC Therapy
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️ Prescription drug use (MC, on page) Side effects of prescription drug use (low libido, vomiting, tremors, etc.) MC emotionally and psychologically manipulated by parent (past and present) Auditory and visual hallucinations (on page) Past and present suicidal ideation Suicidal thoughts (on page) Several past suicide attempts (MC, some details) Details of severe depression (MC) Brief mention of past drug use (marijuana) Mentions of past psychiatric hospital stay (MC) Graphic injuries detailed (not MCs) MC abused as a child (psychologically) MC neglected as a child Past self harm (MC, scarring) References to past underage drinking and drug use (marijuana) Mentions of a person having committed suicide in the past (not detailed) MC experiences vision of woman being raped and killed (some details, not graphic) Descriptions of human remains Vomiting Brief mention of electroconvulsive therapy (past) Withdrawal from antipsychotic medications Drugged by parent (past and present, unknown tea) Brief mentions of slavery and racism in relation to a past murder (unnamed character)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️ Cheating: No Other person drama: No Breakup: Yes POV: 3rd person, dual Genre: Contemporary romance w/paranormal elements Pairing: M/M Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles Main characters’ age: 25 and 26/27 Series: Standalone Kindle Unlimited: Yes Pages: 267
“So you don’t sleep much, huh? I see your light on up there all the time.” “I can’t maintain these bags under my eyes by keeping a normal sleep schedule, can I?” Finch nodded. “Exhaustion-chic is really in this year. I admire your dedication.”
Did he believe Scott at all, really, or did he think he was just sick, like everyone else? Scott sighed and leaned his shoulder against the wall. Was he sick? Was all of this real, or was it just in his mind? Was there even a difference?
Finch scoffed, shaking his head with a small smile. “How someone in your situation always finds the upside, I don't know.” “I don't have a choice,” Scott said. He shrugged one shoulder. “I've...been where I can't see an upside, and...it gets me put in the hospital,” he finished with a faint, dry smile.
She’s looking at you. Scott glanced across at his mother, who was humming softly as she changed lanes to pass an old sedan. She hates you. “Okay, sweetie?” she asked when she noticed him staring at her. “Want to jump out the window?” “What?” he whispered. “I asked if you wanted any coffee.”
Beautifully disturbing? This is a heavy story, full of love and depression. Scott has a very difficult life, if you can call it a life. As Finch wriggles his way into his heart, oh so slowly, I mean really slowly, because it's not easy to get to Scott, the sad story slowly turns into a beautiful love story. Everything gets better and better, only to be completely destroyed. Oh my that was exhausting, but also necessary, because like Scott I thought the whole time that something wasn't right about all this. So I know this all sounds vague, but I can't say more without giving away important things. If slightly mysterious things are your cup of tea and ghosts don't scare you too much and mental illness doesn't freak you out, then I can recommend this story.
He still got sick to his stomach every time he thought about going out in public. He still never slept properly. He went through his regular routine of work, doctor, and shopping simply because that desperate little bit of stability kept him from killing himself. But he had no energy, no drive, no…hobbies or wants or dreams, no…nothing. The nothing was sometimes worse than the visions. 🥺😢🥺
Paranormal MM Hurt/Comfort Mental Illness Rep So Very Emotional Virgin MC Slow Burn
This one got me. This story was probably one of the most gut wrenching and emotional stories Ive read. I probably say that a lot, but for real. Punch in the gut!
Scott is not well. He’s a diagnosed schizophrenic that struggles with everyday ‘normal’ functions. He sees and hears things that others don’t, and it’s heartbreaking to read about. He has a couple people that help and care for him, but mostly he’s just alone and surviving. Barely. Life changes when his landlady allows her nephew Finch to stay with them. Finch is an easy going friendly guy that takes an immediate liking to the shy and reclusive Scott. As Finch tries to build a relationship with Scott, he finds out that there is something even more special about him.
This book just felt so real. Scott really struggled while trying to adjust to being with someone while also trying to better himself and come to terms with the fact that maybe the ghosts he sees are real and not just part of his sickness. There’s a lot more to the story, but mostly it’s a story of one person accepting their mental illness and one person learning how to support and care for that person that they love. Beautiful story.
Heavy hurt/heavy comfort; slow burn; heed the TW; very unique story; isn't that cover adorable??
This book broke my heart and put it back together multiple times. I will now gush way too much about it:
MC1 is Scott, who's in his 20s and it is well-known around their small town that he has schizophrenia; he sees and hears things that aren't there. He's attempted suicide in the past and has ongoing battles with it, has had multiple stays in a mental hospital, and there's ongoing discussion of his doctor, medications, and side effects (including difficulty orgasming) throughout the book. Scott can't touch people or objects without seeing their thoughts and memories/history. He was abused by his mother, his gifts taken advantage of, and ran away from home as a teen. He's never had friends, much less a boyfriend.
MC2 is Finch, who moves in with his aunt next door to Scott and he's pretty quickly smitten with the shy, awkward man. He pursues Scott, trying to take it one step at a time for Scott's sake, but struggles a lot with how strong his feelings are. But he is a total green flag and tries so hard for Scott. And, Scott can see how much Finch likes him.
Scott goes through so many ups and downs throughout the story, and there's some moments that brought me to tears. The book ends HEA, but there is no "healing power of love" here. Scott has moments where he wants to be better because he likes being around Finch, but also has lots of backsliding, too. It felt realistic, but it was also quite descriptive of Scott's issues. It was hard to read it all unfolding and see every time he struggled. I loved how much Finch cared for Scott, though.
I have been wanting to read this for the longest time. The reviews had me so excited but damn did it let me down… this was sad but the angst wasn’t what I was expecting… neither were the ghost interactions. I expected there to be a lot more focus on the ghosts rather than Scott and his illness. But he is the main character so it's understandable. Also I have never read a book where a character is referred to by their hair colour (ie. ‘the brunette’) this many times. It just irked me a lot especially because Finch was basically never referred to the same way. Like just when I thought it was over and Scott wouldn’t be ‘the brunette’ again I’d turn the page and it happens… 103 times to be exact.
This book was so freaking unique and charming. It's a thoughtful take on mental illness and its impact on relationships, with two fundamentally decent characters who take care of each other and work through their challenges with kindness and compassion. It also has some PHENOMENALLY creepy ghosts - I slept with the lights on after this one - that were super amazing. (Honestly, I would completely read a sequel that was just ghost hunting.) Highly recommended.
This is a lovely book! It definitely dealt with the mental health aspect very well! It was such a unique concept, you won't be able to toss this into any old trope! The one and only caveat, and I wasn't the only one to feel this way, but.....the one MC is referred as "brunette" way too many times! But the book is still beautiful and worth it! Highly recommend!
Such a different plot then what I normally read but I really enjoyed it. To see Scott struggle with his illness and to see Finch support him and not be pushed away by it was beautiful. But oh, man the author calling Scott “the brunette” all the time was so annoying.
4.5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 Finch and Scott are going in my pile of favorite characters. I adore these two so much.
Scott is the “town schizophrenic.” Everyone gives him a wide berth. He doesn’t really talk to anyone to begin with, but everyone sees how he sometimes stares or talks to things no one else notices. He’s lived a very lonely life - has no friends, and doesn’t go anywhere. He only has Ernie, the woman who took him in when he was a teenager, and watched after him. She’s the only person Scott can stand to be around. When he touches people or objects he can hear their thoughts, feelings and even glimpse memories - which can easily be overwhelming. He doesn’t have that with Ernie, when they touch he feels calm and peace. But Ernie wasn’t enough, and Scott has struggled. He’s almost given up too many times to count. Until Finch comes along.
Finch is the green haired man that is the nephew of the woman Scott has for a landlord. Finch with his easy going demeanor, beautiful singing voice and just overall calmness. Scott can’t help but feel some things around Finch, and Finch was taken with Scott from the moment they laid eyes on each other. Finch is everything Scott could need, but he has to let it happen first.
Finch has been told Scott is schizophrenic, but unlike everyone else, he doesn’t let that dictate how he sees Scott or how he treats him. To Finch, Scott is a beautiful man with an adorable shyness to him. He doesn’t care if Scott has some issues. He also is the only person that sees Scott for who he truly is. One night they’re driving down the road and Finch witnesses one of Scott’s “delusions.” Maybe Finch can’t see what Scott does, but he knows something is there. He realizes that Scott has some secrets, and Finch is there for the ride.
Finch and Scott go on some awesome ghost adventures together. Scott doing all the work of course, and Finch being the patient, ever present friend. The mixture of ghost stories and relationship cuteness was perfect. Not too much of either. Everything in this story was balanced out just right. I also really loved that mental illness and health played a huge part in this book. There’s very descriptive and excellent information on what it means to be unwell, and what someone has to go through with medication, therapy, etc just to feel a little bit better. Had lots of appreciation for that.
But most of all, I just loved Finch and Scott. Especially Finch. Gosh. He was just so perfect for Scott. Never pushing him, never passing boundaries. Just a loyal friend who does everything he can for Scott, but also gets Scott to do more for himself. And it’s Scott that chooses to take those steps. That’s the best. Also have to say the slow sex scenes as Scott has all his firsts were 👩🏻🍳💋
I just absolutely adore the two of them and I am so glad this was recommended to me. I definitely know I’ll be reading it again.
I can't even believe what I just read. How have I not read this book before? I'm speechless, but I have to find a way to rave about this book. How do you know if all of those voices in your head are really ghosts like your mom taught you, or schizophrenia like your doctor and the rest of the world tells you? Or, what if it's both? And what if you find the one person who truly sees and believes you?
Scott is finally feeling stable. He has a job, his own place, and even a cat. He has one friend, the elderly woman who found and rescued him at 16. The rest of the town avoids the weird schizophrenic guy who wears long sleeves and gloves year round. But the clothing protects him from the voices and visions that flood him when he touches anything or anyone. And the schizophrenia medication helps reduce the voices and helps him have a better idea of what's real and what's not. He's not happy, but he's stable. And his cat gives him a reason to not kill himself.
And then Finch, his landlord/boss' nephew, moves in next door - the vibrant green-haired musician who wants to be his friend. The man who sees him and accepts him as he is. And for the first time, Scott wants more.
But their tentative move from friendship to more is not easy. It takes immense patience from Finch. And a hell of a lot of trust from Scott. And then there's the issue of sex... Scott's meds make that nearly impossible. Even after a change in medication that makes him enjoy some aspects of sex, orgasm seems impossible. The way this is handled in the book is amazing. It's not easy, there's no magic dick. But exploration, experimentation, and a ton of patience and love find some answers.
The idea that someone could have schizophrenia AND ALSO see and hear ghosts is a new one for me. But I loved the way this is explored in the book. It causes a lot of angst at times, and gets a little scary for a bit. But if you can handle reading through the tears, it's totally worth it.
Third person dual POV
TWs: suicidal ideology, discussion of past suicide attempt, psychological and emotional abuse by parent, severe mental health issues
I read a sample and thought I would like it so I purchased the book. It was more of a slow burn and two steps forward , one step backwards kind of story. Scott grew up with the gift of seeing and being able to talk to ghosts. He travelled with his mum who took advantage of his power instead of nurturing him. He rana away and An older lady Ernie discovered him and brought him back to health but he needed to stay on his meds to stop the chaos and voices he heard in his head. One day Finch arrives to stay downstairs with his aunt and over time they grow closer but Scott struggles everyday with his problems and finds it difficult to be intimate with Finch as he can feel everything he’s thinking just by touching him. They are doing really well when suddenly Scott’s long lost mother finds him and wants to take him back to free spirits with her like before. She convinces him that he’s not sick and doesn’t need all the medication he’s on and he leaves his new life behind to run off with her ending all ties with Ernie and Finch. Things are all as he thought they would be with his mom and she throws away his medication and as he deteriorates, she pushes him further until he just wants to end everything. Luckily he has the sense to call finch who with Ernie’s help, is able to fly to bring him home. There are lots of triggers in here about mental health, suicidal thoughts, but underneath is a beautiful story of two men who can see past all of that and build a life together.
I screwed up and went into this book expecting it to be full of MM sex and angst. What I didn't expect was to find a story that pulled at my heartstrings and captivated me completely. The suicidal thoughts that Scott experiences were hard for me to get through, as someone who shares the same intrusive thoughts from time to time, but the way Finch helps him through is amazing. This book did hold a lot of trauma and triggers depending on who the reader is, but I am happy I took the time to read it. Finch is the best friend/boyfriend we all wish we had in our darkest times. Soothing, patient, kind, and willing to go to the ends of the earth for the person he loves most. Most of the character development comes from his partner, Scott, who struggles with who he is and his mental health throughout the book as well as dealing with his abuser and coming to terms with them. The characters and writing are amazing and I can honestly say I enjoyed my time with Scott and Finch.
Scott Mason, 26, library worker, has schizophrenia, medium (clairvoyance, clairaudience, channeling, retrocognition, psychoscopy, psychometric telepathy), ran away from mother, taken in by Ernie, has attempted suicide, considerate, humble, lonely
Brown hair Hazel eyes
Finch River Glen McKinley, musician, working at a dog groomer, smoker, kind, accepting, casual
Green (blonde) hair Blue eyes
Third person Omniscient POV Elizabeth City, Norfolk, NC
Slow burn, Virgin MC, medication-caused sexual dysfunction, mental health rep, paranormal romance, found family
I love this premise. Scott sees things as a medium and is also treated for schizophrenia because it helps. The mental health rep is A+. Their relationship is slow and Finch is so, so patient. There was a lot of repetition—if I had to read “the brunette” one more time… I checked and it’s used 121 times. Tooo much. I was able to overlook those small issues because the story was so lovely.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I really wasn’t sure what to expect going into this book and tbh I almost dnf at around 20% but I’m so glad I carried on!
This is an extremely slow burn and it is quite a narrative driven story. I don’t often read slow burns which might’ve contributed to me struggling with the story to begin with. I felt it was a little telling instead of really living the story but once I got used to the style of writing I think it actually quite portrayed Scott’s personality well, he was such a shy quiet guy. I really enjoyed the plot it was very interesting and unique. In the end I really came to appreciate the slowness and steady build of their relationship it was very suited.
Stopped reading around 24% The first 10-15% seriously hooked me and then it just…didn’t. Some people will no doubt love it though; it’s great that we’re all different. I quite liked Scott and Finch but imho the writing needed some serious editing. Scott is referred to as ‘the brunette’ on nearly every page and once I noticed then it began to grate. Which is a shame, as Scott’s character was intriguing and his inner voice and behaviours endearing. I might try another by the author sometime.
This book was so freaking unique and charming. It's a thoughtful take on mental illness and its impact on relationships, with two fundamentally decent characters who take care of each other and work through their challenges with kindness and compassion. It also has some PHENOMENALLY creepy ghosts - I slept with the lights on after this one - that were super amazing. (Honestly, I would completely read a sequel that was just ghost hunting.) Highly recommended.
I LOVED THIS!! This is the type of hurt/comfort I live for. Finch met Scott at his pace every step of the way and the paranormal element of it was fantastic! It was such a good take on ghosts. The entire plot regarding Scott's mom and his mental health was absolutely perfect. It felt so incredibly real to how people react with family members who are probably not the best for them. Scott also questioning his issues and diagnoses again just added that real world element that I love. This was definitely a tough one, and an emotional one, but it was easy to read, paced really well, and had so many cute and sweet moments. I'm so glad I randomly found this one.
It’s always great when a book really manages to have a character with a mental illness that feels real and that doesn’t have love solve everything for them. These two were so awesome together and the side of ghost hunting was pretty great. Loved it. Agree with a previous reviewer about ‘the brunette”…it was so weird.
Beautiful story, wonderful characters with a lovely ending! I enjoyed the characters, and the author handled Scott’s mental illness well, along with how the others around him acted. I loved how Scott and Finches relationship development, From Scott accepting that Finch cares for him to Finch seeking him out when things get bad. With a HEA, I highly recommend it!
I do not enjoy slow burns. That being said, this was a five star read for me. The main characters are just perfect for each other. Finch has the patience of a saint and the way that he helps Scott out of his nightmare is just wonderful.
I really enjoyed this book. My only complaint was the ridiculous number of times Scott was referred to as “the brunette”. 123 times in 260 pages. I eventually had to start deliberately skipping the words, it got so annoying. But I really liked the premise of this book, and how supportive Finch was.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect with this one? But this exceeded it. Mental health, imposter syndrome, your brain lying to you? All of it. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me yearn. Just wow.
I would have enjoyed this book so much more if the author hadn’t consistently described the one character as “the brunette”! It took me out of the story every time I read it. It was used 120+ times!!!!!
Re-read: 4.5 still love them, omg how can someone come up with such a good plot. TBH this time i didn’t connect as much but mainly bc my guy Finch seems like a lazy freeload. Like i love him to pieces but he soooo does not have his shit together. I still love their relationship though and how sweet they are.
5 stars take all my money idc
Finch is such a softy i love him and then there’s Scoot all kind and shit 😭 i love them so much it hurts