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Dear Sonali, Letters to the Daughter I Never Had
Dear Sonali, is a passion project from the TV's Divorce Court Host. Seeking to share her mother's wisdom with a daughter of her own, this mother of six boys has written letters for young women to help them grow, conquer and thrive. From money to men, to passion and profession Judge Lynn gives her best advice From he particular point of view. At once, practical, methodical and motivational, Judge Lynn shares the best she has with all of the women that call her The Auntie in Their Head or Mom2.
- GenresSelf HelpNonfictionLove
201 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 25, 2019
308 people are currently reading
1486 people want to read
About the author
Lynn Toler
6 books70 followersLynn C. Toler is the judge of the television series Divorce Court, replacing Mablean Ephriam in 2006. She previously hosted the court show Power of Attorney. Toler brought tenacity and compassion to the courtroom enforcing nontraditional judgments, such as hand written essays.
Judge Toler is the author of My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, in which she describes how she dealt as a child with her father's erratic behavior due to his bipolar disorder.
She earned an undergraduate degree in English and American Literature from Harvard in 1981 and a Juris Doctor from the University of Pennsylvania Law School in 1984. Toler currently resides in Ohio with her husband of 17 years and two teenage sons.
Judge Toler is the author of My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius, in which she describes how she dealt as a child with her father's erratic behavior due to his bipolar disorder.
She earned an undergraduate degree in English and American Literature from Harvard in 1981 and a Juris Doctor from the University of Pennsylvania Law School in 1984. Toler currently resides in Ohio with her husband of 17 years and two teenage sons.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
February 27, 2021
Quote: “Never get so comfortable with where you are that you go on cruise control. There are always hungry people right behind you. Don’t let them catch you coasting.”
3 ½
I got this book because I loved listening to Judge Lynn Toler on divorce court. She shared a lot of knowledge and things to learn in this book. It is written for a 20 year old but she tackled everything: relationships; money; single moms; practical matters; emotional management; self Awareness; etc.
3 ½
I got this book because I loved listening to Judge Lynn Toler on divorce court. She shared a lot of knowledge and things to learn in this book. It is written for a 20 year old but she tackled everything: relationships; money; single moms; practical matters; emotional management; self Awareness; etc.
February 22, 2020
Nicely done. If you watch her show you’ve heard many of these things. It IS information you hope (fir example) your daughter or grand-daughter will know and follow.
January 29, 2020
I love Lynn Toler's take on life. She has a "cockpit cool" that I'd like to have someday.
The book cover gave me the impression that the advice would be aimed at children or teens, but this book seems aimed at adults in their 20s. That's fine by me. I struggle to communicate with my mom on an emotional level, and this book felt like having a extra mom to give me warm but stern advice on all aspects of life. If you want to command your life like Toler, this is a hand-crafted guidebook of principles to follow.
I loved her first book, My Mother's Rules. I actually think it's better to begin there. It's interesting to see how her ideas and personality have developed over the last decade. That first book is so raw. She wasn't famous yet when she wrote it, and was going through tough times. If you are a big JLT fan, I highly recommend starting at the beginning of the "series".
Her advice in this book includes how to navigate the big stuff, for example ideas like:
"You can’t make people do right by you, but you can decide how often you let them do you wrong."
and
"Anger authors a lot of bad moments."
But she also addresses the little stuff that grease the wheels of life, like:
"Being late, in general, tells people you can’t be relied upon. It says you don’t respect their time."
And much more! Highly recommended.
The book cover gave me the impression that the advice would be aimed at children or teens, but this book seems aimed at adults in their 20s. That's fine by me. I struggle to communicate with my mom on an emotional level, and this book felt like having a extra mom to give me warm but stern advice on all aspects of life. If you want to command your life like Toler, this is a hand-crafted guidebook of principles to follow.
I loved her first book, My Mother's Rules. I actually think it's better to begin there. It's interesting to see how her ideas and personality have developed over the last decade. That first book is so raw. She wasn't famous yet when she wrote it, and was going through tough times. If you are a big JLT fan, I highly recommend starting at the beginning of the "series".
Her advice in this book includes how to navigate the big stuff, for example ideas like:
"You can’t make people do right by you, but you can decide how often you let them do you wrong."
and
"Anger authors a lot of bad moments."
But she also addresses the little stuff that grease the wheels of life, like:
"Being late, in general, tells people you can’t be relied upon. It says you don’t respect their time."
And much more! Highly recommended.
June 18, 2021
I want to preface this review by saying: I love Judge Lynn Toler. I used to watch Divorce Court on a regular basis while grading papers (and doing more watching than grading, which is probably why it took me so long). I think she is full of solid advice and thoughtful witticisms.
I did not love this book. Giving it three stars is probably being generous because I love Judge Toler so much. I was hoping for a sit down, heart-to-heart kind of 'chat' between Judge Toler and the audience, her 'daughter' in a well constructed way. The content of the book is okay at best - I feel as though it was written in a stream of consciousness manner, run through a cursory spell check, and then got published. There are numerous instances of repetitive statements that would've flowed better with a little polish. However, my biggest gripe is the consistent outright lack of editing (or poor editing - I honestly couldn't tell you which). There are missing periods, inconsistent capitalization, odd spacing, unclosed parentheses... and it's not just a few times. Mistakes happen. I'm talking multiple times PER CHAPTER, to the point where it is distracting to the reader and sometimes causes confusion in the sentence.
I was really disappointed in the quality of this book and I don't think I will be reading Judge Lynn's other offerings.
I did not love this book. Giving it three stars is probably being generous because I love Judge Toler so much. I was hoping for a sit down, heart-to-heart kind of 'chat' between Judge Toler and the audience, her 'daughter' in a well constructed way. The content of the book is okay at best - I feel as though it was written in a stream of consciousness manner, run through a cursory spell check, and then got published. There are numerous instances of repetitive statements that would've flowed better with a little polish. However, my biggest gripe is the consistent outright lack of editing (or poor editing - I honestly couldn't tell you which). There are missing periods, inconsistent capitalization, odd spacing, unclosed parentheses... and it's not just a few times. Mistakes happen. I'm talking multiple times PER CHAPTER, to the point where it is distracting to the reader and sometimes causes confusion in the sentence.
I was really disappointed in the quality of this book and I don't think I will be reading Judge Lynn's other offerings.
January 28, 2023
When I started reading this book, it wasn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be about. I’m not even sure if I can describe exactly what I was looking for but the beginning to me was shaky. I almost gave up on the book but it was only about 200 pages so I kept giving it a go. In a perfect world, I would’ve finished this book in a day if I was in love with it but I wasn’t. However, I made it through lol.
I feel like I wasn’t the target audience for the book and that’s why I struggled through the first half or so. It’s really for a young woman between the ages of 18-24 (who is not married). As a thirty year old woman, alot of life has already passed me by for it to apply (I’m married and have a few kids.)
The second half of the book I enjoyed reading alot so that really pushed me toward the end. I got some really good highlights out of it. I feel like it gave me good inspiration on becoming a mother of a daughter. Overall, it was a good read and I will be reading her book on marriage.
I feel like I wasn’t the target audience for the book and that’s why I struggled through the first half or so. It’s really for a young woman between the ages of 18-24 (who is not married). As a thirty year old woman, alot of life has already passed me by for it to apply (I’m married and have a few kids.)
The second half of the book I enjoyed reading alot so that really pushed me toward the end. I got some really good highlights out of it. I feel like it gave me good inspiration on becoming a mother of a daughter. Overall, it was a good read and I will be reading her book on marriage.
March 1, 2022
This book is great advice for young women! I have so many notes and highlights.
I will be gifting a copy to my daughter.
I will be gifting a copy to my daughter.
August 3, 2020
Awesome read!
Reading this book felt like I was having random dialogues with my mom. It gave good advise to young women which some otherwise would not have access to. Thank you Mrs. Toler for this. Definitely recommend to purchase this book.
Reading this book felt like I was having random dialogues with my mom. It gave good advise to young women which some otherwise would not have access to. Thank you Mrs. Toler for this. Definitely recommend to purchase this book.
May 3, 2022
Dear Sonali, Letters to the Daughter I Never Had by Lynn Toler ✍️💕📄👧🏽
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...
February 17, 2020
I absolutely adore Judge lynn, she's a fantastic role-model. I loved this memoir/ self-help book. Although I may not necessary agree with everything in it, I think a lot of women need to hear her message of "put yourself first, focus on your success first." I watch Divorce Court frequently and I can see why Judge lynn felt the need to really lecture on "don't stay with a cheater, don't stay if you're unhappy because of the time invested, use birth control, don't depend on anyone for all of your money and security...etc" it was common sense to me but not to a lot of individuals. Great advice!
May 11, 2021
I love this book, will reread again !
Great reminders to womanhood and new gems to apply to everyday life.I love all the quotes and memoirs. The dialogue felt like she was talking to me personally!
Great reminders to womanhood and new gems to apply to everyday life.I love all the quotes and memoirs. The dialogue felt like she was talking to me personally!
April 6, 2025
I’ve always liked Judge Toler and I enjoy her quirks and stories and life lessons that she shares on social media. If you’ve ever tuned in to some of those, this book isn’t that much different. She’s very direct and no nonsense, but at the same time she can be funny and relatable and not pretentious.
She never having had any daughters of her own, dishes out advice about everything from ambition, keeping yourself in check, but not complacent, being your own person, thinking for yourself, relationship advice, etc. Not that anything that she had to say was deeply profound or life changing, but it is pleasant to hear and overall agreeable and light for the most part. I listened to it twice in a short period of time, so once again, a very easy and light read.
I suggest listening to the audiobook (narrated by Toler herself). Not that she’s the best narrator, but I think it adds something to hear the words read in the writer’s own voice. I also think the content goes down a bit easier as a listen more than a read.
She never having had any daughters of her own, dishes out advice about everything from ambition, keeping yourself in check, but not complacent, being your own person, thinking for yourself, relationship advice, etc. Not that anything that she had to say was deeply profound or life changing, but it is pleasant to hear and overall agreeable and light for the most part. I listened to it twice in a short period of time, so once again, a very easy and light read.
I suggest listening to the audiobook (narrated by Toler herself). Not that she’s the best narrator, but I think it adds something to hear the words read in the writer’s own voice. I also think the content goes down a bit easier as a listen more than a read.
February 4, 2021
This book was on my TBR (to be read) list for a long time. Mrs. Toler's words of wisdom felt like my mama, grandma, or even an aunt was talking to me. The same way that she was on Divorce Court, she exemplifies the same wisdom and energy in the book. Every word in this book can be used in every walk of life. From relationships, jobs, money, parenting, motivation, etc, all women regardless of age, income, relationship status, etc can and will gain a better understanding of life after reading this book. I will be buying my own personal copy just to flag and highlight certain portions because there are so many good gems in this book. If you're looking for a no non-sense self help guide (as if your mama was giving you a "talking to"), then, Dear Sonali is the book for you.
June 20, 2020
I really love watching Judge Lynn Toler on the TV Show Divorce Court. She has so much wisdom and is so knowledgeable yet, she is so very down to earth. I was super sad when I hears she was not returning the next season and wanted to read the book she mention her show. It is a surprisingly fast read. I was expecting something more drawn out or in depth but, instead it is filled with little nuggets of wisdom. Nuggets of wisdom that you're gong to want highlight or read over and over again. The advice totally feels like it comes from a second mother.
I'll miss Toler on her show but, I truly hope she writes more insightful books. Books that educate you and push you to be a better person.
I'll miss Toler on her show but, I truly hope she writes more insightful books. Books that educate you and push you to be a better person.
August 6, 2022
Dear Sonali, is a gift to every reader. Judge Toler opens her heart and provides essential information on how to make a productive life. Her book is full of love, life-long lessons, and common sense information that sometimes isn't offered in the home, school, or family settings.
She covers topics such as love, family, raising children, domestic violence, temper control, reaching the heart with words, career, school, choosing a life mate, good behavior, social norms, expectations, and best practices. This book is suitable for young and mature readers too. I look forward to gifting copies to several loved ones.
She covers topics such as love, family, raising children, domestic violence, temper control, reaching the heart with words, career, school, choosing a life mate, good behavior, social norms, expectations, and best practices. This book is suitable for young and mature readers too. I look forward to gifting copies to several loved ones.
October 12, 2021
Judge Toler does a terrific job of giving the advice that only a mother who loves and wants the best for you can. At times, we all can use a nudge in the right direction or words of wisdom that gives us the courage we sometimes need to fly. If you’re at a crossroad in your life and unsure which way to travel, or if you’re simply tired of repeating mistakes that keep you in the same position, this book may just be for you. Whether it’s love & marriage, love & divorce, chasing your dreams, or getting out of your own way, Judge Toler has advice for you. Would recommend!
September 4, 2024
This book was really fun to read! If you haven’t already read “My Mother’s Rules”, I’d suggest you read that first. You obviously don’t need to read it in order to understand this book, but it will give u a lot of background information you wouldn’t have known otherwise. In addition, Judge Lynn Toler does a great job at expending on her points she made in that book with this one. It was really easy to read and gave me life lessons in my 20s that I’d most likely would have learned later on in life. I’m very grateful to the Judge for writing books that will help/change so many people!
May 29, 2020
In this self help book, Judge Lynn Toler gives pratical advice to young women. Personally, I really enjoy her tv show Divorce Court and I was super excited to see what her written voice would be like.
In the first half of this book, I wasn’t sure I liked the writing style, because she writes like she speaks, and I'm not typically a fan of such writing styles. But after a while, it started to feel more and more comfortable-- like a transcript to an interview. It makes sense, though, as the format to this book is that it's written in a series of letters.
A lot of the advice was common sense for me, but I can definitely see how it would be useful for some. On the other hand, a lot of the advice reframed common sense type knowledge in a fresh way, that might make the "common sense" advice more applicable and chewable.
I got a lot of love for judge Lynn, such a wise and intelligent woman!
Solid advice, and a quick enjoyable read. I liked it! Definitely reccomend to watchers of the show.
In the first half of this book, I wasn’t sure I liked the writing style, because she writes like she speaks, and I'm not typically a fan of such writing styles. But after a while, it started to feel more and more comfortable-- like a transcript to an interview. It makes sense, though, as the format to this book is that it's written in a series of letters.
A lot of the advice was common sense for me, but I can definitely see how it would be useful for some. On the other hand, a lot of the advice reframed common sense type knowledge in a fresh way, that might make the "common sense" advice more applicable and chewable.
I got a lot of love for judge Lynn, such a wise and intelligent woman!
Solid advice, and a quick enjoyable read. I liked it! Definitely reccomend to watchers of the show.
April 19, 2021
I love Judge Lynn Toler. I watch her show Divorce Court. She can take all of your complicated thoughts/relationships and simplify them in a way that makes sense. I loved this book. I felt connected to who she is. I think she did an awesome job at reading the room (the world). I think anyone can take a few gems from this book. No matter where you are in life. No matter what age. As long as you are open to receiving.
February 25, 2024
Amazing!!
Highly recommends this. Felt like a letter from your own mother, that holds no punches yet they all land gently (very much directly). Encouraging and challenging, for me well written and the nature pauses in how the letters are written give you that space to absorb, let it settle, breathe and apply without judgement. (Even though it is a judge who wrote it *drum da-dum-tsk*)
If I didn’t say it before I’ll say it again - highly recommend!
Highly recommends this. Felt like a letter from your own mother, that holds no punches yet they all land gently (very much directly). Encouraging and challenging, for me well written and the nature pauses in how the letters are written give you that space to absorb, let it settle, breathe and apply without judgement. (Even though it is a judge who wrote it *drum da-dum-tsk*)
If I didn’t say it before I’ll say it again - highly recommend!
February 15, 2022
This book was ok. It had some good bits of advice but I felt like it was very basic and surface level. I didn't feel inspired and most of the advice given were things I've learned on my own in my short 31 years of life. I still love Judge Toler, but this book didn't do much for me. Perhaps if I had an unstable life I might have gotten more out of it.
April 18, 2020
I love Judge Lynn!
I appreciate this book so much, it’s a reminder of self worth. I always hear her talk about the book on Divorce Court so I had to read it myself and boy was it worth it. Thanks Judge Lynn, you’re everything I aspire to be.
I appreciate this book so much, it’s a reminder of self worth. I always hear her talk about the book on Divorce Court so I had to read it myself and boy was it worth it. Thanks Judge Lynn, you’re everything I aspire to be.
May 26, 2020
My mom 2
What an enchanting message to read. I appreciate all the words and wisdom a mom could give to a daughter. Such great knowledge. I wish to give to my daughter a similar message one day.
What an enchanting message to read. I appreciate all the words and wisdom a mom could give to a daughter. Such great knowledge. I wish to give to my daughter a similar message one day.
April 3, 2021
Judge Lynn Toler is a fav of mine! I love watching her show and seeing the advice she gives to people. The book was excellent! There are so many valuable lessons and pieces of advice she gives! Awesome read!
July 27, 2023
Just what I needed
This is an inspiring, motivating, and heartfelt read. Various topics discussed to help develop you personally, professionally, and relationally. I’ll be reading this again.
This is an inspiring, motivating, and heartfelt read. Various topics discussed to help develop you personally, professionally, and relationally. I’ll be reading this again.
December 19, 2023
I really wanted to like this book but I just don’t agree with some of Judge Toler’s viewpoints. I like that she is stern and very strong minded, but I just don’t think the tough love approach should be applied to all aspects of life.
December 29, 2023
This book provides an amazing insight to everyone but for me as someone that doesn’t have a traditional/best friend/close relationship with my mother it felt amazing to be mothered in a way that felt embracing and understanding while also raw and honest. 10/10 read.
April 30, 2024
Lynn Toler
Wow what an amazing book. It was like sitting in a room with a very wise mom. Although I am 56, I learned a lot from her wisdom for I didn’t get life lessons when I was growing up
Wow what an amazing book. It was like sitting in a room with a very wise mom. Although I am 56, I learned a lot from her wisdom for I didn’t get life lessons when I was growing up
July 28, 2025
Has some really good lessons. They are well broken down too and easy to follow. Written for a 21 year old but honestly, there's room for any woman in here to gain something worthwhile.
Definitely recommend.
Definitely recommend.
June 2, 2020
Great book. Sometimes mothers don't know what they don't know. This book shares "jewels" that I wished my mother shared with me. It made me reflect, accept my flaws, and strive to be better each day.
June 24, 2020
I got this book because I have deep respect for Judge Lynn Toler. It is filled with advice for young women in their 20s and it is very inspiring.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews