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528 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1666
GERONTE: Sir, I’m delighted to see you in my house. We’re in great need of your help.This is followed by some further foolishness -- Sganarelle chases the
SGANARELLE (in doctor’s gown and steeple hat): Hippocrates says… that we should both keep our hats on.
GERONTE: Hippocrates says that?
SGANARELLE: Yes.
GERONTE: In what chapter please?
SGANARELLE: In his chapter… er… on hats.
GERONTE: If Hippocrates says so, we must do it.
SGANARELLE: My dear doctor, having heard of the remarkable things --
GERONTE: May I ask whom you are talking to?
SGANARELLE: You.
GERONTE: But I’m not a doctor.
SGANARELLE: You aren’t a doctor?
GERONTE: No.
SGANARELLE (picks up a cudgel and beats him as he was beaten): Honestly?
GERONTE: Honestly. Ow! Ow! Ow!
SGANARELLE: You are now. That’s all the qualifications I ever had.
SGANARELLE: Is this the patient?All of which really goes to show that the Marx Brothers’ vaudevillian schtick has a long and distinguished ancestry.
GERONTE: Yes, she’s my only daughter. It would break my heart if she were to die.
SGANARELLE: She mustn’t do anything of the kind. She can’t die without a doctor’s prescription.