The Pact We Made

by Layla AlAmmar

How could I explain to her that nothing in my life felt real? That in a country like Kuwait, where everyone knew everything about each other, the most monumental thing to ever happen to me was buried and covered over? For the sake of my reputation, my future, my sisters and cousins; the family honor sat on my little shoulders, so no-one could ever know.

Dahlia has two lives. In one, she is a young woman with a good job, great friends and a busy social life. In the other, she is an unmarried daughter living at home, struggling with a burgeoning anxiety disorder and a deeply buried secret: a violent betrayal too shameful to speak of. With her thirtieth birthday fast-approaching, pressure from her mother to accept a marriage proposal begins to strain the family. 

As her two lives start to collide and fracture, all Dahlia can think of is escape: something that seems impossible when she cant even leave the country without her father's consent. But what if Dahlia does have a choice? What if all she needs is the courage to make it? Set in contemporary Kuwait, The Pact We Made is a deeply affecting and timely debut about family, secrets and one woman's search for a different life.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Middle East, Feminism, Audiobook, Family, Female Authors

288 pages, Hardcover

Published March 7, 2019

About the author

Layla AlAmmar grew up in Kuwait. She has a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Edinburgh, and her work has appeared in The Evening Standard, Quail Bell Magazine, The Red Letters St Andrews Prose Journal, and Aesthetica Magazine where she was a finalist for the Creative Writing Award 2014. In 2018, she served as British Council International Writer in Residence at the Small Wonder Short Story Festival. She currently lives in the UK where she's pursuing a PhD in Arab Women's Fiction.

Reviews

[Henk · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story of gaining agency and freeing oneself of expectations of society. Slow moving but full of insights in Kuwaiti society, while also dealing with sexual abuse and mental health problems
Was it too late to be what I might have been?

Our lives are sustained by rituals is a quote quite at the start of The Pact We Made. This seems a fair assessment by Dahlia, a rich Kuwaiti of 29 who is plagued by anxiety and is desperate in not being coupled by her mother to suitors.

Sexual abuse and mental health problems come back when we learn more about Dahlia and her friend group (mostly women, because: Man and woman can’t be friends per the mother of Dahlia). Everywhere, people are less happy than they project, from infidelities to secret gay relations to incest, everything is glossed over in relation to Kuwaiti society and its expectations for the respective genders (See the sheep, be a sheep.). Money and the chance to travel abroad offers some solace, but the constant judgement of neighbours is stifling.

Being in your 30s and needing approval of your parents to eat with someone or go to a party, if you’re a woman is an exponent of this.
Society is changing, someone remarks: People do all kinds of weird shit nowadays.
But this is more about a tattoo than any fundamental upheaval to the system, and a marriage broker is even engaged by the mother of Dahlia in the quest to marry her off before she is to far into her 30s.
Paralyzed and without agency, the main character spins around in circles and becomes more and more unhappy:
It occurred to me that if I had been more crazy I would have been happier.

Her parents and friends notice this, but attribute this to an overly active sense of integrity rather than to something more fundamental:
You do make things more difficult than they need to be
There is a slow but a touching end, which in a sense implies the possibility for Dahlia of something a kin to: The kind of happy that doesn’t require elaboration
But the position of females, even educated and creative ones whose drawings are exhibited in art galleries, are precarious is also definitely a message Layla AlAmmar seems to convey in the book.

The Pact We Made is less a thriller than an intelligent snapshot of contemporary Kuwait and how it tries to be modern and traditional at the same time, and what price this asks of its citizens, especially women.

[Fatima Zubair · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

"How much damage do parents do, unintentional though it may be? A word that cleaves the psyche, a withheld embrace that ripples through generations, an episode that festers like an open wound. Might these things not be so easily avoided if we all just scattered ourselves to the wind?"

"Though it was a pleasant enough day, men in suits and dishdashas hurried across the road, trying to get to their destinations before they started to sweat. I wondered how many of them were happy, how many were resigned, how many were as bored as I was, how many wished for something more and if any were in the process of attaining it. I wondered how many of them had no idea how miserable they were."

"When something traumatic happens at a formative age, it stops that development – not even stunting it, but sending it branching off in a whole other direction, making you someone you might never have otherwise been. Some of your traits might survive, some might evolve and adapt to your new circumstances, but some are sure to die away, to wither into indiscernible nothings."

BOOK REVIEW
The book is set in Kuwait and revolves around a woman named Daliyah her life struggles. It is a contemporary fiction and cover the erratic and stupid culture of South East Asia where women are treated as a marriage material and their life as a person doesn't matter unless they have gotten married because apparently marriage is considered some kind of a trophy (I am not denying even a word of it because this happens in my family as well) but it doesn't stop there, a woman must bore a baby in her first year of marriage because that's how it is done!
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Dahliah has a good job and she is an independent women money, only she cannot take her life decisions herself (the irony!) But again she hasn't done enough as her sister has because she denies all the proposals and her mother and father are worried sick as she is getting too old and no man would choose her as his spouse (the labels society put on us!), other than that she has a god job in a respectable field and her salary is commemdabel as well. She and her friends have made a pact when they were young that they would all get married by a certain age and only she is the one who hasn't abide by it.
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What's more? she has a traumatic past and it has changed her in many seen and unseen ways and her demons still come to choke her at night but her parents are in denial (oh they know what is that buy still!) or they think one can heal from such wounds.
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Dahliah want to do something different. She want to have her individual identity where there would be expectations to fulfill and she want to know more about herself because she doesn't relate to other girls and women. And she sure as hell doesn't want to get married.
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While reading this, I thought the author has penned down my story in some way or the other. Because honestly our societal standards are cringe worthy. Almost all the things are relatable. How being a modern has nothing to do with permitting your girl to go anywhere or let her wear anything she like or let her study whatever she want to but rather listening to her and respecting her choices when it comes to her life and her choices in terms of marriage. It is actually the society and its rotten roots as they refuse to budge and literally keep track of what a girl or a woman does in her life.
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Although, at the end, a couple of things happened that I didn't quite like and I can say the author wanted to show things this way because parents don't understand that you can't boss around your 30 year old spawn.
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All in all, it is a great read. If you want to read about Arabic culture with a touch south-east asian customs mixed with modern norms then this is the perfect book for you. Also, if you are a feminist then, a must read indeed!

[Ewe Linka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, it was a different read to what I normally read so I didn't know what to except.
It started off intriguing but the middle meddled on for me and I found myself lose focus at points. I didn't feel connected to the characters in the sense I was indifferent to their journey.
However, despite a few personal preferences, I can see why this book can be viewed as an excellent cultural read into lives not everyone may know about and I found it interesting to dive into it.

[Fadillah · Rating 4 out of 5]

She furrowed her brows. It's a party. Parents never approve of that, but I mean, she's an adult.' I had no response, and she turned away to spin more circles and send little waves across the pool. How could I explain to her that in our culture a daughter is not thought an adult until she's married and no longer in her father's care? That until then we just played at being adults - going to work, hitting the gym, watching our money - but remained impotent when it came to making any real decisions about our lives. I bet Kim had difficulty fathoming that a thirty-year-old had to ask permission to leave the country, or that she had to hide her male friends from her parents because good girls' didn't socialize with men. My parents had no idea who Yousef was; in the ten years I'd known him, as a friend, then as a colleague, they'd never met him nor heard me so much as mention his name. How could I make her see the myriad paradoxes in our culture? That while a few families were like Monas, who'd actually encouraged her to get a degree abroad and had been disappointed that shed chosen to stay with us, most of them were like mine and Zaina's, who thought we shouldn't do anything without considering what society might think of it first. Our lives were these elaborate plays, and we all wore masks. There was a life that people saw, where you were respectable and did all the right things, a life where people thought highly of you and you were firmly set on a predictable trajectory. But there was another life as well, one inside you, a life where you thought things you were too ashamed to say out loud, where you lied to people and you lied to yourself. It sometimes felt like I had put my past in a hole and spent my time shoveling dirt into it, but like some cheap horror movie, it kept trying to claw its way out.
- The Pact We Made by Layla Alammar
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Sexual Assault Perpetrators Are Usually Family Members And Family Friends and that’s a fact that we cannot deny. Statistics and research has proven it over and over again. ‘The Pact We Made’ brought us readers into a reality of what it’s like being SA’d by family members and rather than bringing the perpetrator to justice, the victim’s family wishes it to keep silent for honor and family’s reputation is at stake. Dahlia were betrayed twice, once when she was raped by Omar uncle (her mom’s cousin) and second, when she’s got to know that her parents know Uncle Omar’s Nature but still insisting on doing the whole extended family vacation. Dahlia lived with her trauma - feeding it to monsters that lived around her. She channeled this obsession into her drawings and arts. I do have to apologise that some of these artistic references mentioned in the book went over my head as i am not familiar with it at all. I don’t have to highlight how ‘virginity’ is being placed as part of family’s honour / reputation but we all know at some parts of the world , its a cultural norm and how society control women indirectly. Dahlia is also trapped in this notion as her parents (especially her mother) refused to acknowledge the crime and keep on insisting that Dahlia to get married. She kept on pushing matches for an arranged marriage despite Dahlia passed 30 years old (which again for some culture , it’s considered old already). I have such high hope for Bu Faisal to be her mentor / second father as her real father failed her but it was turned into disappointment when he suggested Dahlia to be his second wife in a subtle manner. Yousef proposed to her but Dahlia knew deep down that they better stayed as friends. On the title itself, The Pact we made was hinting on the Pact that Dahlia has forged with Zaina and Mona - on marriage age and basically sticking together through thick and thin. But all’s left are words and they have moved on with their life leaving her dealt with her own pain and tragedy. I am not sure Mona and Zaina is the good indicator of best friend (at least not for me). This will be by far one of the memorable books i’ve read in 2023 - although we are only at the second month of the year. It was haunting and radically lyrical at the same time. Being an unmarried muslim woman, i relate so hard with Dahlia. Coming from a conservative society whereby Patriarchal values were enforced upon, Dahlia’s thoughts reflected what i have had in mine for so long. I was not ready to end this book as i finished this in one day but i am pretty sure once i parted with the book, Dahlia’s word echoed through me and this is one of them : “That his parents hounded him about marriage struck me as impossible. He was young; he had plenty of time for all that. More than that, he was a man. Unlike me, his eligibility didn't plummet further each year. If anything, he would become more desirable as more and more women remained single for longer. Why were they, our parents, so eager to push our lives forward? Why were they so keen to see the next phases of our lives start? What if there was no next phase? Certainly there were people - even here, where being alone struck such fear into the chest - who never found anyone to share their lives. Surrounded as we were by the divorced and cheated on and jilted, all slinking back to the family home, often with multiple children in tow, was it even worth it? Did it not make more sense to just give up on the whole enterprise?”. This would have been 5 stars read if its not for the ending. I understand why she choose Bu Faisal but he is a married man and i can’t stand infidelity. Polygamy is allowed in Islam but not in my worldview and certainly not in a way i wanted Dahlia to reclaim herself and retain her freedom.

[Faris Abdulrahman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I managed to finish the novel in two days. It isn't because I found the story to be engrossing or interesting. Instead, I just wanted to get it over with, as I found myself asking "so what?" after turning each page. I hoped the ending would make up for a rather lackluster plot, but it didn't, unfortunately.

The author could have spent more time on character and plot development instead of flexing her muscles when it came to writing prose. For example, in one scene in chapter one where Dahlia goes to meet her friends for dinner after an awkward encounter with a potential suitor, Al-Ammar writes: "For a moment I could almost imagine I wasn't there, but at a cafe on the South Bank, watching lights play out, low and slinky in the sky, trailing a long, blurry milky way in the water. A light breeze played with my hair and ruffled my dress, but it really wasn't too cold."

This is a casual dinner between three friends; the writing is a bit over the top here and doesn't serve much of a purpose.

Other times, Al-Ammar does get it right. While at the awkward meeting with the potential suitor and his mother, Dahlia's mind begins to wander. "The sadu carpet under the coffee table was woven in thick strands of black and white and bold red. Geometric patterns bordered by thick blocks of color. An Arab’s idea of neutral. I picked a thread at random and followed it down through the weave. My eyes tracked it up and over the ziggurats, sliding down the incline of a diamond, hopping across little interruptions of white. The pattern was a choice someone had made, the will of another that the thread was obliged to bend to. If you picked the right thread, you could follow it back to the beginning. Thread Zero, the one that started it all, the one holding it all together, that one element upon which everything was built. Did my life have one such string? If I pulled at it, would it all come crashing down?" The sadu analogy here fits perfectly well with the idea of making choices and decisions that could potentially change the direction one's life takes, plus it's very well written.

My other issue with the novel is the fact that the characters, and their interrelationships, aren't well developed. Dahlia's two girlfriends are caricatures - sidekicks or page fillers at most. One of them is cheating on her husband; the same guy Dahlia once pined for. Also, the relationship between Dahlia and her mother: literally every conversation is just "Mom: get married. Dahlia (brooding): No."

Least favorite parts:

the matchmaking scene (this does not happen in Kuwait...it really doesn't...literally Edward Said is rolling in his grave because of this scene.)

wax candles in the bathroom scenes...I understand the trauma associated with this...but it was WAY over the top...not because the fact that Dahlia was a victim of rape isn't a serious issue...I just didn't believe this is how the actual character would have responded.

The tragedy that was the ending:

She ends up fleeing her family, her suffocating, overbearing mother, and her life (read: cage) in Kuwait...how? By running away with her father's friend who is already married and has children...

You could tell this book wasn't planned...Stephen King was a pantser (i.e. he writes from the seat of his pants as opposed to planning/outlining)...but if you're a debut novelist, it wouldn't kill you to at least try some semblance of an outline...it seems like Al-Ammar didn't know where she was going with this, got flustered and overwhelmed, and just finished it off with a flourish. I can envision her shutting her laptop after writing that last chapter and going "well, whatever, it's done."

So Dahlia escapes the patriarchy of her life, by fleeing into the arms of her father's creepy married friend? Who knew her since she was a kid?

This novel cannot be salvaged if only because of the ending.

[Tasnim (Reads.and.Reveries) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been referred to as a Kuwaiti ‘me too’ novel which, at the very least, makes it quite clear from the outset what the themes are. It isn’t hard to guess the nature of this violent act, the details of which allow Layla Alammar to portray the extent to which patriarchy facilitates a covering over of male abuses of power and places a family’s honour and reputation so squarely on the shoulders of women.
This, of course, allows men to go unpunished while women suffer in silence, trauma unaddressed so as to avoid public shame.
The Pact We Made is a thought-provoking, timely novel, written in a way that lays bare the societal context, thereby adding another perspective to this most necessary of conversations.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Both the art and cultural references where foreign to me, but within the pages I found some of my own thoughts. It made me feel seen and I wanted to shove the book into some of my family's face and say "this is what I feel".

On the other hand, seriously, "jardin" instead of garden. The author went a bit too far with using foreign words instead of translation and descriptions. I can understand some of them but, it was excessive.

[Jacki (Julia Flyte) · Rating 4 out of 5]

If one of the reasons that you read is to understand the experiences of people living in different countries from you, this is a good choice. It's set in Kuwait and it's about the life of a 30 year old single woman.

I knew very little about Kuwait before reading this but it sounds like a mini Dubai. Despite bordering Iraq and Saudi Arabia, it's a place where women enjoy considerable freedoms. They can work, they can drive themselves around, they can dress in short skirts or tops that slip off the shoulder, they can mix with members of the opposite sex. But at the same time there is an expectation that they will marry and have children.

Dahlia is 30 and still unmarried. Her parents, especially her mother, are increasingly anxious about this situation. Both her close female friends married in their mid 20s - marriages that are not unhappy but still far from idyllic. Dahlia's resistance to marriage initially seems like a determination to hold out for love but gradually we learn that there is trauma in her past.

This is an easy read and an interesting story, but it's also somewhat repetitive (so many conversations with her mother telling her she must get married and Dahlia saying she doesn't want to). And the ending left me feeling uncomfortable - was that really the best decision she could have made?

[Sarah (sarahanneisreading) · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Zubs Malik · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Pact We Made is timely and thought-provoking novel, written unapologetically about the cultural nuances of being a single woman in Kuwait deemed past her accepted age of marriage.

The Pact We Made tells the story of Dahlia who is staring down the barrel of her thirtieth birthday, the age when a Kuwaiti woman from a good family is past her prime marrying years. But beneath the surface this book is layered with so much more and that is why this book should not be taken at face value.

The story, her story, Dahlia’s story is stripped bare for all to see and to hopefully understand the pressure placed on women of Arab heritage and the war we/they face to break free of what is considered as ‘normal’ or from what is ‘expected’ from us. Despite what we have endured in the process. The hush silences and ‘accepting’ what happens to us and continue as normal. The feeling of being suffocated when your talents are suppressed. From not having a voice of our own and placed under the guidance of male dominance to dictate your life.

Like other books written on this topic this one is not generic. There is general image when one writes about the Arab world and culture because apparently portraying that image sells. It always begins with the same obnoxious, abusive and sexist men and the veiled timid women who are submissive to the oppression that they receive. Quite frankly it is a lame ideal and should now be changed. Women of Arab cultures should be written about to praise their strength, intelligence and endurance. We have such amazing women from the ‘desert’ as examples yet usually authors write about this. But not in The Pact We Made. Dahlia is fierce despite what she has been through. She is powerful and she is strong and her narrative moves away from submission and shows her true strength.

With a strong feminist voice who breaks convention and culture to find herself makes ‘The Pact We Made’ for a poignant read.

[Elias Jahshan · Rating 4 out of 5]

An honest novel that deftly tackles the cultural nuances of being a single woman in Kuwait. The absence of tired Orientalist tropes (these kind of stories often have it) plus a strong feminist voice make it a worthwhile read.

[Yousra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dahlia and her best friends Zaina and Mona make a pact as children that they will be married by the age of 22 and have their weddings together - Dahlia is now approaching 30 and still unmarried while her best friends are already married. Set in contemporary Kuwait, The Pact We Made is the story of a grown woman’s life facing the pressures of Kuwaiti society to be married by a certain age, behave in a certain way, work in certain fields and care about her reputation. In secret Dahlia cares not for these things and her mother’s unrelenting pressure makes her feel choked, adding to the chronic anxiety she suffers from as a result of a very traumatic experience at the age of 15, an experience that makes her “damaged goods” in the eyes of Kuwaiti society. Will Dahlia be able to stand up for herself and choose the life she wants?

As someone who grew up in the Gulf from the age of 14 to 29, I resonated with so much in this novel, from the pressures young Gulf women face such as the pressure to get married, the way society is obsessed with reputation, and topics such as convenience marriages and the way that sexual assault and rape is dealt with in the Gulf. It was incredible to read a novel about Kuwait in the English language that was so realistic and frank - for a long time novels set in the Gulf only existed in Arabic and if a book speaks of taboo topics like rape, homosexuality and relationships before marriage, they are banned in the Gulf. It was refreshing to read Gulf Arabic terms and to re-live experiences such as the expat house parties! A spot-on depiction of life in contemporary Kuwait - even if you’ve had no experience of the Gulf you will still be touched by this story of a woman who yearns to live a life she chooses rather than a life where others always set her path for her.

[BBTheReader]

Who are you?
Before the world tainted you?
What path would you have chosen?
How would you walk this earth?
What will your tongue say?
And most importantly...
How would you react when you feel your heart beats for the first time?
Who will your heart choose?
Who would you have been?
Can you be who you meant to be? Who you wish for yourself to be?
...
when I started reading this book, I thought I was going to discuss the Kuwaiti traditions, explain how/why I hate some, explain the things I hate in Dahlia & her friends, criticized behaviors here & there, even though I don't like to share my beliefs/thoughts much, but this is what the book is talking about & in order for me to share my thoughts about it, I have to share my thoughts about the topics it highlighted..

But then, slowly slowly, we were getting hints about a trauma that happened in Dahlia's past, a kind of trauma that will stay & stain.
Life, at its ugliest..
we walk around judging people, forgetting to think about how & why they become this person, forgetting the accumulations that cased them to be who they (don't) want to be..
forgetting that they are simply human beings, who had their enough, exactly just like us!

I'm wondering if this book is talking about that spark we feel towards someone (what people like to call it love at first sight?) that kind of spark that happens once in a lifetime, stay forever, & leaves you wondering what if?
The one that makes your daydreams beautiful.. the one that you need to keep at the back of your mind & remember it only when nothing in life feels worth living..
life, at its bittersweetest!

[Surfacin9 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was able to relate to the main character Dahlia on so many levels. I lived my teen years in Kuwait in the ‘90’s in a family slightly more conservative than the one depicted in this story, so the theme of the book took me back to that guarded life I had. I remembered how claustrophobic I felt, not only in my room, but even outside, because as long as I was within the borders of the country I was expected to behave in a certain way, dress to the standards of my family’s conservative values, and express views that would fit perfectly into the expected cookie-cutter molds. I use the past tense here because now it isn’t quite as bad as it was before. I see teenage girls these days doing things I could’ve never imagined myself being able to do back then.

Because thematically my life was very similar to that of Dahlia’s, reading this book took me through the visceral spectrum of emotions that she went through in her story, and for that I applaud the author. It was no fun to be taken back to that boxed self, and the ending of the Dahlia’s story is even more depressing. But a successful work of art gives the audience a cathartic experience, and this is what I was left with — an overwhelming sadness for all the girls and women who continue to suffer in the shadows of patriarchal societies.

[Shambhavi Pandey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I usually enjoy Middle Eastern familial dramas, so I had high hopes for this one. But it didn’t quite deliver, least to the level I anticipated. The only reason I pushed through to the end was to see if the conclusion would redeem the rest of the book, but it stayed consistently listless and dull.
Set in Kuwait, the story revolves around a 30-year-old woman who feels trapped by her family's pressure to get married, and wants more from life than just settling down as per societal norms. Instead of actively seeking out marriage prospects and dreaming about her wedding, she longs for liberty and draws inspiration from the famous works of artists. But that’s all about it: she grapples with an irritable sense of distaste and indifference for anything and everything around her. And the reason is unknown, it’s just there and you are meant to work through it.
The writing often felt overly ambitious without delivering on substance. The plot was thin, and the characters were underdeveloped. Additionally, the protagonist's subtle misogyny was off-putting, if not her for-no-reason-cynical attitude. It was one underwhelming read for me: didn’t resonate and failed to engage me on any meaningful level.

[Papyrus and Peppermint · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compelling, thought provoking, entirely important.

I absolutely LOVED this book, I read it in less than 2 days.
The author’s descriptions transported me with Dahlia at every moment. I saw the clothes her mother laid out for her, I saw her art, I felt her pain, her jealousy and her struggles. I will warn you that the story contains mental health struggles, abuse and moments involving self-harm which I understand may be triggering for some people – however I feel it is absolutely one of the most important books I’ve read to understand exactly what goes on behind closed doors in cultures outside of my own, the deep struggles and lack of mental health support that some people are facing in order to protect family ‘honour’ and that even in what appears to be a modern society, the reality is anything but in line with modern times.

I 100% recommend this book, it’s an absolutely amazing debut novel. I feel that the story however hasn’t quite finished, so hope that there’s a second one in the works.

[Noha Nasrat · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn’t for me. I usually love books about issues women are facing in different parts of the world. But I didn’t love this book. I felt it was all over the place. Ammar tried include bits and pieces from Dahlia’s past but sometimes it just confused me and it added nothing to the story. I know that Dahlia suffered a tragedy but I felt like she could have built a new life for herself instead of dwelling on the past especially that what happened wasn’t her fault. Also she speaks of wanting freedom! However I couldn’t believe who she chose at the end! Is that freedom! I feel she went from one cage into another cage. As an Aran woman myself, I think It would have made more sense for her to marry Yousef, and spare her parents the heartache and the scandal. I honestly didn’t think her poor parents deserved all that she put them through. It broke my heart. Overall it was a fine read. It might be interesting for foreigners to get a glimpse of life in Kuwait (Although I don’t know how accurate the portrayal really is).

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this was such a good read. I am amazed and very impressed that this is debut novel. Set in Kuwait, this is the story of Dahlia who is rapidly approaching her thirtieth birthday and, to the chagrin of her mother, remains unmarried. Dahlia is struggling to reconcile being a modern woman, with the cultural expectations of her family and country. She is caught between two worlds and needs to make a choice as to where her future lies.

This is a beautifully written novel with acute and poignant observations of the position of women in Kuwaiti society. Dahlia’s struggle with her own anxiety, familial relationships and societal expectancies are deftly described and I was completely absorbed by the story. It is a very truthful and courageous work. Bravo Layla AlAmmar; this is one of my books of the year.

I received a complimentary copy of the book from NetGalley and publisher, Harper Collins, in exchange for an honest review. Thank you.

[RuthyMB · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m conflicted with this book. It’s a really interesting quite frustrating insight into the life of a 30 year old female in Kuwait. Forced to meet suitors for marriage, can’t do anything without parental permission and lots of fear she will bring shame on the family and community for making her own choices such as having a tattoo. Comments on her weight and how it won’t make her a good wife etc. She’s struggling with an abusive past and anxieties and self harm.
I found the story boring in lots of parts, I agree with other reviews it just seems scattered and lots of it was flashbacks and not present story. It’s probably my fault and the way I read it..not the authors or the book. I think it was just a bit lost on me. Best part was the last 2 chapters to be honest.

[Tanja · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just so beautiful. It's character driven, written in 1-person singular, and explores some pretty dark themes and how they might impact someone, all of which are things I typically avoid when choosing a book to read. The reason I ended up buying this book was that I took it for something different, but I am so glad that I did, because this book really is wonderfully written, lyrical but without falling into strong purple prose. The characters are engaging, especially the protagonist, Dahlia, who takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, as she is figuring out who she is. This book hits you emotionally in the best way. If you are looking for something to read, I highly recommend this book.

[Sarah AlObaid · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aside from the question of representation and whether this was accurate, and aside from the fact that the writing style was quite beautiful, i felt like this very obviously carters to a Western audience. I read it as perpetuating the idea of the East being stifling and oppressive and the West as the place of liberation and freedom.

[Nermin Farid · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is outspoken, it tells the story of Arab women, in one way or another a girl or a woman would relate to the story of Dalhia. The story packs many issues in it which what was great, the patriarchy of the family and society, the cage of norms ! All well reflected here.

[↠Ameerah↞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poignant.

[Els Willems]

Read my review on Whichbook.net: https://www.whichbook.net/book/12408/...

[Jules (Never enough time to read) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. I’m already looking forward to her next book.

Although I found the ending a little bit disjointed from the story.

[Rhoda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my read the world selection for Kuwait

Dahlia lives in modern day Kuwait where on the surface women enjoy considerable freedoms - working, driving cars, go out to cafes with friends, even dressing in short and fitted clothing. However making independent decisions about your life is not permitted. On top of that, Dahlia is almost thirty years old and not yet married.

Dahlia’s mother is bordering on hysteria regarding her daughter’s single status and does everything in her power to continue to introduce supposedly suitable men and their families to her. Dahlia is just not interested and the reader is left to wonder whether she is holding out for a love match or whether the dark secret surrounding her family is holding her back….

This is an emotional read and you can’t help but despair at the lack of personal choice women have in some parts of the world….and what must be endured in the “spirit” of keeping up appearances. It’s difficult to fathom having so little control over your own life as a 30 year old woman 😥

The story was an interesting, yet claustrophobic read which is infuriating when the reader learns what the family secret is. I was less than enchanted by the ending though - despite Dahlia finally making her own important decision, it sat uncomfortably with me and seemed like such a compromise. Although perhaps it was supposed to be 🤷🏻‍♀️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5.

[Serena · Rating 4 out of 5]

The power of this author’s voice is really something. It’s very brave, to write this book.

I think all the characters are also incredibly well done. Nadia, Baba, Mona, Zamia, Abu Faisal and Yousef - really great work. Especially Yousef who deserves a story of his own. I love the idea and really have a lot of sympathy towards loving someone “enough” to marry them.

I also would like to say that it’s very reassuring to read this as a thirty year old. Not because we need new forms of relationships or ways of loving people or various experimental accounts but because of this, this right here:

“I looked up when her sentence trailed off. ‘God, no!’ I replied. ‘No, not at all. I’m just sick of it. The whole thing’s such a sham. I hate feeling like my whole life hinges upon this one event, like if it doesn’t happen, then I’m just taking up air.’”

I also liked learning about the yathoom demon.

[Malaika Rehman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. The premise had so much potential—an unmarried Kuwaiti woman battling family expectations, cultural silence, and personal trauma? That’s exactly the kind of layered, introspective novel I usually enjoy. But sadly, I found the execution disappointing.

The writing style is often confusing and emotionally distant. I struggled to connect with Dahlia or fully grasp the significance of many scenes, which often felt abstract or meandering. While the themes are important—especially trauma, autonomy, and womanhood in a conservative society—the way they were presented felt disjointed rather than powerful.

There were moments of brilliance, especially when art and metaphor were woven in. But overall, I found it hard to stay engaged. The book felt like it was holding me at arm’s length the entire time.

[Amy Buckle / Amy's Bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set in Kuwait, The Pact We Made is about Dahlia, who is approaching her 30th birthday and being unmarried, is being hounded by her parents to find a husband. While they are on a match-making hunt, Dahlia is fighting her own battles – of her identity, her career, and her past which she struggles to let go of. Feeling her future is uncertain, Dahlia is determined to take back control of her life, but how easy will the truly be? A story of trying to gain autonomy in a society that traditionally does... read the full spoiler-free review here: https://www.amysbookshelf.co.uk/2023/...

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written and quietly moving book. The main character Dahlia is a 30 year old Kuwaiti woman grappling with the consequences of childhood trauma. As a capable woman the tension between her inner turmoil and need for self-determination and the oppression she experiences as a Kuwaiti woman and daughter are at times unbearable. Her pain is palpable and I was carried throughout by the wish to see her resolve her inner turmoil and make choices that worked for her. Whether she does so you'll judge for yourself.