A Stranger at My Door: Finding My Humanity on the U.S./Mexico Border

by Peg Bowden

A Stranger At My Door is a personal odyssey of challenge, failure, and redemption. A man in desperate crisis appears at the doorstep of a family home in the Sonoran desert. Attempts to do the right thing—to provide food, clothing, shelter—are hampered by the politics of fear and xenophobia. Taking a stand on the side of compassion, Peg Bowden, a retired nurse and humanitarian aid worker, explores the ethical and moral values that drive her life choices, which at this particular moment in time, do not align with the politics of her homeland. This is a tale of a relationship between two people whose very conceptions about the "other" forge a friendship that transcends the borders of their lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

229 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 18, 2019

About the author

Peg Bowden is a retired nurse living on a ranch in the San Cayetano Mountains of southern Arizona, close to the Mexico border. She paints watercolors, practices the piano, and plays timpani in a community concert band. The last thing she wanted to do in her retirement was health care. And guess what? She is doing the most profound work as a nurse that she has ever done with the travelers heading north from Central America and parts of Mexico. Peg writes about her immersion into the politics of immigration and volunteers regularly at an aid station in Nogales, Sonora, Mexico.

She lives with her husband, two dogs, a feral cat named Tamale, and a lot of open range cattle.

Reviews

[Pam Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the single most important book I have read since I left Indy to move to Green Valley, AZ. I was ready to learn about the history and culture of a different part of America: this book schooled me on immigration at my back door.

[Kim Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it, it was helpful to read another person’s experience in helping someone migrating since I will be working with this population.

[Karen Fasimpaur · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A Stranger at My Door" is an incredible story of our shared humanity, our common struggles, our collective joys and pains.

As a resident of the borderlands myself, this book resonated deeply with me. This is a place of wonder and beauty, but also one that is broadly misrepresented, resulting in fear, suspicion, and uneasiness on the part many.

This book shows the human struggles of life in the borderlands and everywhere on earth. It is a story of grace and awkwardness, of generosity and ineptness, of clarity and complexity. It is a chronicle of the very real human struggles that we all face as we try to navigate through life.

While this story has something to say about the real costs of the US's hate-filled immigration policies, it is also an absorbing and enjoyable read that carries a message of hope.

[Laurie Parsons Cantillo · Rating 4 out of 5]

“There is no ‘other.’ It’s all us. I learned what I’m made of and what I’m not. And what I want to become.”

Author Peg Bowden, a Green Valley humanitarian, details her journey from meeting a migrant at her door, visiting his family in Guatemala, and learning to set boundaries while helping him and his family. I love how real she is—describing her fears of this stranger in her home, her guilt over not wanting to become too close, and her dismay at the growing polarization of our nation.

I admire her honesty and sense of self-deprecation, yet she’s a model for overcoming fears and xenophobia and helping someone in need. Sadly, her sense of morality and what SHOULD be second nature does not align with politics in our country today.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems very odd to me. “The Line Becomes a River: Dispatches from the Border,” is one of the most important books I read in the past year and I wanted this book to be of similar importance. But it is not. It starts well, with the arrival at the author’s home of a man trying to cross the border and freezing and starving. I did like the honest recording of her reactions – wanting to help a stranger but also uncomfortable. I was surprised that the author did not speak Spanish after a number of years of living on the border,(but then, I don’t speech Salish after living in Washington State for 12 years) and I can see my surprise as judgmental. The book continues to yank me back and forth between positive and negative reactions. Juan Carlos is not an easy person. He seems to be overly demanding and also somewhat incompetent at making good decisions. The author tries to be a desert angel – begins learning Spanish and providing some money (they seem quite well off compared to me, but that is hard to judge, of course) but finds she is not comfortable with Juan Carlos’ decisions and demands. It seems that some of the discomfort is cultural and some my be because of the need of a translator or attempts to communicate without knowing the other’s language. I did appreciate that the author is also confounded by her reactions. The author’s note should be read before and after reading the book, plus before writing a review,

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book because it happened in the area where we are staying for the winter close to Nogales and the Mexican border. I appreciated the author’s honesty in sharing her reactions, her struggles with her fears, in setting boundaries, her willingness to admit to being naive and her generosity.

The memoir shows how murky and fuzzy border issues are. It shows the struggles people have to criss the border legally. I am glad the book covered a period during both Obama’s and Trump’s presidency. The border issues did not begin recently. Juan Carlos’ back story and the challenges he faced amidst great odds are thought provoking. Is it better to move to the US or stay in Guatemala? I read this book in a day and the only reason I did not give it 5 stars is it is a bit repetitive.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The true story of a woman living in the Ariona dessert who helps an undocumented immigrant. The author finds it to be more complex and difficult to help J. C. than she immagined it would be. In the process, she confronts the racial stereotypes fed to her by her father and her desire to value all individuals. The book has good information about how the U.S. is complicit in the large wave of immigrants trying to enter the country from Guatemala. I found it to be a well-thoughtout and moving book.

[Gloria Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mesmerizing and enlightened narrative of our border life reality

What an amazing brave, generous, honest soul Peg Bowden (Margarita) is!

I am inspired to help the cause after reading this compelling book, because we can all be good Samaritans and make this world a better place. Thank you for your unselfish acceptance of the "other" Peg. I am one of them. RIP.

[Luis Cruz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the start of the book and how the author wrapped everything together really made it easy to picture the scenery. I feel like the story lost a little bit of meaning towards the end of the book and it was hard to make sense of the importance of certain things

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Peg has given us a heartfelt glimpse into her world and the world of immigrants. She shares her fears and the courage that took her beyond those fears to save the life of another human being.

[Meeka Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

“So, fleeing a country where he has a good chance of getting shot, or his family could starve, or he could be extorted every week by renegade gangs- these are not reasons enough to obtain help and sanctuary from the richest country in the world.”

Bowden’s ability to write was smooth and descriptive. I felt that I was with her in the Arizona desert in her home on the day the lost, traveling Guatemalan man stumbled upon her seeking humanity. I was there with her on her journey on learning the complex immigrant imprisonment and deportation. And I was with her in Guatemala eating masa tortillas and celebrating Semana Santa.

I recommend this book to open your eyes and heart to one story of millions of people who have sought help and a better future for themselves and their families every day as they crossed the border to America, some successful and others detained or deported. I value Bowden’s humility to recognize her own white privilege and bias, and her honest thoughts to overcome her initial internal response. This book opened thoughts of my own bias and assumptions on immigration, asylum, and deportation within America.

[Karol · Rating 4 out of 5]

A touching personal narrative

Bowden powerfully narrates a history of the relationship she developed with a near dead Guatemalan man who appeared on her patio one winter night . He was lost, a refugee from an impossibly difficult life as a coffee plant worker. Abandoned on the wintery Arizona desert, he was frozen and desperate for food and water.
Her story is candid, straight forward and moving. This reader was humbled by her kindness and integrity. Bowden has navigated an impossible course between the boundaries of these two contrasting lives.
Would that more of us would find more of our own humanity in these difficult times.

[Alice Benson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful story, well-written and honest. I loved the detail and description, but what made the story resonate with me was the author's honesty.