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The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse
New from the Splatterpunk Award-winning author of KILL FOR SATAN! and DEPRAVED. Our story this time around involves a guy named Phil. Phil went on an epic bender last night after breaking up with Crazy Sue. And now he's waking up with the mother of all hangovers. But that's the good news. Crazy Sue has called and left a message. She has Phil's hamster, George the Magnificent, and she's threatening to squash George if Phil doesn't come back to her. She gives him an hour to make his way back across town to her place. Still in a drunken daze, Phil bolts from his bed and heads outside, at which point he runs headfirst into yet another complication--the fucking zombie apocalypse has started. But Phil loves his rodent buddy and he means to get to Crazy Sue's place--whatever it takes.
130 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 30, 2020
24 people are currently reading
72 people want to read
About the author
Bryan Smith
104 books761 followersBryan Smith is the Splatterpunk Award-winning author of more than forty horror and crime books, including 68 Kill, the cult classic Depraved and its sequels, as well as The Killing Kind, Slowly We Rot, The Freakshow, and many more. Bestselling horror author Brian Keene called Slowly We Rot, "The best zombie novel I've ever read."
68 Kill was adapted into a motion picture directed by Trent Haaga and starring Matthew Gray Gubler of the long-running CBS series Criminal Minds. 68 Kill won the Midnighters Award at the SXSW film festival in 2017 and was released to wide acclaim, including positive reviews in The New York Times and Bloody Disgusting.
Bryan also co-scripted an original Harley Quinn story for the House of Horrors anthology from DC Comics. He has worked with renowned horror publishers in both the mass market and small press spheres, including Leisure Books, Samhain Publishing, Grindhouse Press, Death’s Head Press, and more. His works are available wherever books are sold, with select titles also available in German and Italian.
68 Kill was adapted into a motion picture directed by Trent Haaga and starring Matthew Gray Gubler of the long-running CBS series Criminal Minds. 68 Kill won the Midnighters Award at the SXSW film festival in 2017 and was released to wide acclaim, including positive reviews in The New York Times and Bloody Disgusting.
Bryan also co-scripted an original Harley Quinn story for the House of Horrors anthology from DC Comics. He has worked with renowned horror publishers in both the mass market and small press spheres, including Leisure Books, Samhain Publishing, Grindhouse Press, Death’s Head Press, and more. His works are available wherever books are sold, with select titles also available in German and Italian.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 22, 2020
Probably my least favourite book I've read by Smith. The story dragged along. I struggled to find the motivation to pick it up even though it was short. The story felt like it jumped about aimlessly and the ending was pretty disappointing.
March 26, 2020
Disappointing
Hard to believe that this is the same author that wrote Slowly We Rot and Depraved, among many other great books. Found myself skimming through the nonexistent plot. Very disappointed.
Hard to believe that this is the same author that wrote Slowly We Rot and Depraved, among many other great books. Found myself skimming through the nonexistent plot. Very disappointed.
October 6, 2024
I didn't make it very far this shit is so hard to read but it's funny.
August 17, 2021
I give 1 fucking fuck and 1 motherfucker.
February 23, 2020
The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse is a touching story between a young man, a youthful woman, zombies and Satan. Bryan Smith delivers a story of a struggling relationship surrounded by brutish zombie violence. Readers should prepare for a full blown nonstop literary adventure that definitely strays from the norm. This evil and diabolical creation will certainly be loved and respected by readers of the extreme.
August 22, 2022
Not a bad read, felt the word count was padded out with the word f@ck too much, I dont mind bad, even terrible language but it seemed to hinder the flow of the writing in some parts. Not the best Smith I've read.
February 25, 2023
Well, this is a divisive one. It's short, vulgar, and batshit crazy.
So it's pretty much up my alley. Initially the prose that Bryan Smith chose for the protagonist that we follow throughout is annoying. Every sentence seems to have an expletive thrown in for no good fucking reason. You would think, "The book is called The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse, how can you complain that there is so much swearing", right? Honestly, I fucking got used to it within a few goddamn pages. But I can see how some cunts couldn't.
Now, the cocksucker in chief that we follow, Phil, he's just broken up with Crazy Sue. But then, this bitch has gone and threatened the real hero of the story, George The Magnificent, the hamster that Phil forgot to remove from their shitty apartment before he kissed that sweet snatch goodbye. Now he's got to go out and save George The Magnificent from that crazy ass thundercunt.
Problem is, between last night's blackout shitfaced post-breakup drinking binge and the fucking rodent threats of the morning, it seems the fucking zombie apocalypse broke out. Oh shit, that must be how the book got it's fucking name. Anyway, it takes our dipshit protagonist a minute to understand that, but soon we realize the stakes are sky fucking high, you know. By the time you close this bitch up and move on to your next read, you're gonna see frogs rain, evil doctors, magnificent hamsters, Lord Satan, ghost bitches, and more. Can our bro make it or will he go tits up like a soy boy beta cuck pussy?
Look, if you can't take some fucking fucks in your fucking book on the fucking zombie apocalypse? Probably won't enjoy this shit. Can't jive with crazy fucking twists and characters who are clinically stupider than a giant bag of syphilitic dicks? Probably won't enjoy this shit. Don't appreciate shit written from the perspective of a mongoloid fucking fucktard who is working through a shitty situation with all the grace of Donald Trump impersonating a handicapped journalist? Probably won't enjoy this shit.
But if you got the fucking stones to take a ride on a speeding coaster that's coming off the fucking tracks, you will probably find this every bit as exciting as your mom found my 9 inch pork sword last night. Speaking of anal, if you demand literary realism and/or don't know fuckall about what a sense of humor is, you should probably see if a book called "The Fucking Regular Day" exists. Bryan Smith hasn't written that shit yet tho, I fucking checked for your lazy ass as part of my due diligence for this here impartial fucking review.
I guess, what I'm saying is that George The Magnificent is the fucking shit. Go read about him if you've got the balls. If you don't, there's always the option of fucking off and trying something fucking else.
So it's pretty much up my alley. Initially the prose that Bryan Smith chose for the protagonist that we follow throughout is annoying. Every sentence seems to have an expletive thrown in for no good fucking reason. You would think, "The book is called The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse, how can you complain that there is so much swearing", right? Honestly, I fucking got used to it within a few goddamn pages. But I can see how some cunts couldn't.
Now, the cocksucker in chief that we follow, Phil, he's just broken up with Crazy Sue. But then, this bitch has gone and threatened the real hero of the story, George The Magnificent, the hamster that Phil forgot to remove from their shitty apartment before he kissed that sweet snatch goodbye. Now he's got to go out and save George The Magnificent from that crazy ass thundercunt.
Problem is, between last night's blackout shitfaced post-breakup drinking binge and the fucking rodent threats of the morning, it seems the fucking zombie apocalypse broke out. Oh shit, that must be how the book got it's fucking name. Anyway, it takes our dipshit protagonist a minute to understand that, but soon we realize the stakes are sky fucking high, you know. By the time you close this bitch up and move on to your next read, you're gonna see frogs rain, evil doctors, magnificent hamsters, Lord Satan, ghost bitches, and more. Can our bro make it or will he go tits up like a soy boy beta cuck pussy?
Look, if you can't take some fucking fucks in your fucking book on the fucking zombie apocalypse? Probably won't enjoy this shit. Can't jive with crazy fucking twists and characters who are clinically stupider than a giant bag of syphilitic dicks? Probably won't enjoy this shit. Don't appreciate shit written from the perspective of a mongoloid fucking fucktard who is working through a shitty situation with all the grace of Donald Trump impersonating a handicapped journalist? Probably won't enjoy this shit.
But if you got the fucking stones to take a ride on a speeding coaster that's coming off the fucking tracks, you will probably find this every bit as exciting as your mom found my 9 inch pork sword last night. Speaking of anal, if you demand literary realism and/or don't know fuckall about what a sense of humor is, you should probably see if a book called "The Fucking Regular Day" exists. Bryan Smith hasn't written that shit yet tho, I fucking checked for your lazy ass as part of my due diligence for this here impartial fucking review.
I guess, what I'm saying is that George The Magnificent is the fucking shit. Go read about him if you've got the balls. If you don't, there's always the option of fucking off and trying something fucking else.
September 16, 2020
A devilish twist on the zombie apocalypse
In the zombie f'ing apocalypse our hero Phil is on a mission to break up with his psycho girlfriend, Crazy Sue. That is until she threatens to hurt his pet hamster George. Now Phil has to make his way through the zombie apocalypse to keep George from getting squashed. Getting there isn't easy and once he arrives things don't go quite how you'd expect them to go. Phil's world gets turned upside down, Sue may not be as crazy as he thought and the devil is having a good laugh at it all.
I've wanted to read something from Bryan Smith for awhile now so I grabbed this up when he offered it free earlier this year. These days if you're going to write about zombies you have to do something completely different and I think Smith does just that. Around the halfway point the story takes a left hand turn on the path (see what I did there) and goes in a way I've never seen before. I liked everything about this book except one. Phil's expletives-laden Jackassery kind of drags on you after a little bit. I mean it makes the story funny to read but after awhile I just wanted to get on with it. Besides that small detail its a fun, somewhat over the top thrill ride. It isn't profound or meaningful but it is a fun, switch your brain off for awhile kind of book.
In the zombie f'ing apocalypse our hero Phil is on a mission to break up with his psycho girlfriend, Crazy Sue. That is until she threatens to hurt his pet hamster George. Now Phil has to make his way through the zombie apocalypse to keep George from getting squashed. Getting there isn't easy and once he arrives things don't go quite how you'd expect them to go. Phil's world gets turned upside down, Sue may not be as crazy as he thought and the devil is having a good laugh at it all.
I've wanted to read something from Bryan Smith for awhile now so I grabbed this up when he offered it free earlier this year. These days if you're going to write about zombies you have to do something completely different and I think Smith does just that. Around the halfway point the story takes a left hand turn on the path (see what I did there) and goes in a way I've never seen before. I liked everything about this book except one. Phil's expletives-laden Jackassery kind of drags on you after a little bit. I mean it makes the story funny to read but after awhile I just wanted to get on with it. Besides that small detail its a fun, somewhat over the top thrill ride. It isn't profound or meaningful but it is a fun, switch your brain off for awhile kind of book.
November 23, 2020
A zombie tale with a slight twist is something I needed during 2020.
I really enjoyed this quick guilty pleasure, it’s a zombie tale with a bit of an attitude. I enjoyed this view of the end of the world as it’s not as focused on the undead as it is one mans journey to save his hamster.... yes his hamster.
Without going in depth I liked the thought process of certain scenes such as the elevators and the pee scenes.
Also the twist and then ending both landed pretty well for me. I was mixed on the ending but something about it just made me enjoy it.
But the fact he gets locked up and life returns to normal and we skip ahead in time just felt shocking and different which I enjoyed. I don’t know how much I loved the ghost sue aspect as much but the break out scene was awesome.
Driving away with Satan was not the ending I wanted or expected but for some reason I felt like I was down for that ride too.
I really enjoyed this quick guilty pleasure, it’s a zombie tale with a bit of an attitude. I enjoyed this view of the end of the world as it’s not as focused on the undead as it is one mans journey to save his hamster.... yes his hamster.
Without going in depth I liked the thought process of certain scenes such as the elevators and the pee scenes.
Also the twist and then ending both landed pretty well for me. I was mixed on the ending but something about it just made me enjoy it.
But the fact he gets locked up and life returns to normal and we skip ahead in time just felt shocking and different which I enjoyed. I don’t know how much I loved the ghost sue aspect as much but the break out scene was awesome.
Driving away with Satan was not the ending I wanted or expected but for some reason I felt like I was down for that ride too.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 16, 2020
Lmfao!!!
What an entertaining story! One of the funniest characters ever written about, Phil wakes up on the day his girlfriend "Crazy Sue" has "kidnapped" his pet hamster and threatened to "or else" the little bugger unless Phil gets to her house as soon as possible whilst the Zombie Apocalypse is going on outside. As he finally arrives at Sue's apartment Phil meets Satan and the fun truly begins. Never a dull moment in a Bryan Smith book I tell ya!
What an entertaining story! One of the funniest characters ever written about, Phil wakes up on the day his girlfriend "Crazy Sue" has "kidnapped" his pet hamster and threatened to "or else" the little bugger unless Phil gets to her house as soon as possible whilst the Zombie Apocalypse is going on outside. As he finally arrives at Sue's apartment Phil meets Satan and the fun truly begins. Never a dull moment in a Bryan Smith book I tell ya!
April 4, 2020
So. Much. Fun.
More absurd than Richard Simmons shopping for firearms, more chaotic than playing duck, duck, goose with actual ducks and geese, funnier than watching Abbath do a faceplant at an outdoor festival (look that one up on the Web, thank me later) & faster than a denial of credit for that one shifty friend we all have.
There's also loony girfriends, diabolicly distorted hamsters ...and zombies.
A bargain at twice the price.
More absurd than Richard Simmons shopping for firearms, more chaotic than playing duck, duck, goose with actual ducks and geese, funnier than watching Abbath do a faceplant at an outdoor festival (look that one up on the Web, thank me later) & faster than a denial of credit for that one shifty friend we all have.
There's also loony girfriends, diabolicly distorted hamsters ...and zombies.
A bargain at twice the price.
Read
October 3, 2020DNFing at 17% (aka 17 pages in). im not rating this book although based on what i read it would be a zero. im not a prude. i love cuss words. but when every other word is "fucking", the cussing starts to lose its potency and becomes annoying. i even tried forcing my brain to skip over them but that did not work. im hoping this book is misleading and Bryan Smith has some other books that are better.
November 2, 2024
Not his best work
It almost feels like a teen ager wrote this book. Trys too hard to be funny. Not as good as his previous work. Also way too much swearing just seems juvenile. Still one of my favorite authors...
It almost feels like a teen ager wrote this book. Trys too hard to be funny. Not as good as his previous work. Also way too much swearing just seems juvenile. Still one of my favorite authors...
February 20, 2020
Solid pulp fiction. Gore, sex, violence. Everything you'd expect from the fucking zombie apocalypse!
March 25, 2020
Zombies with a Twist
A crazy fun read that is all over the place but in a good way. A good way to spend the day while in County wide lockdown lol
A crazy fun read that is all over the place but in a good way. A good way to spend the day while in County wide lockdown lol
May 6, 2020
Bloody, gross and action-packed from the beginning to the end.
November 13, 2020
Just Fucking Crazy
As always Bryan Smith delivers depravity, blood, guts, and sex like no other. If you're looking for a book that's just debauchery on every page, LOOK NO FURTHER.
As always Bryan Smith delivers depravity, blood, guts, and sex like no other. If you're looking for a book that's just debauchery on every page, LOOK NO FURTHER.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews