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The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color
"A terrific resource that shows readers how to start feeling good about their body and rewire their sense of self-worth." —School Library Journal starred review
It’s time to ditch harmful, outdated beauty standards and build real, lasting body positivity. It's time for a self-love revolution!
Every day we see movies, magazines, and social media that make us feel like we need to change how we look. This takes a toll on how we think about ourselves—and how we allow others to treat us. And while many teens feel shame about their body, being a teen girl of color can be hard in unique ways. Maybe you feel alienated by the mainstream image of beauty, which is still thin, white and able-bodied. In addition to that, you may also feel pressure from within your community to measure up to a different—but equally unfair—beauty standard. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you’re surrounded by these unrealistic—and problematic—ideas about your body?
In The Self-Love Revolution, leading body image expert and creator of #LoseHateNotWeight Virgie Tovar offers an unapologetic guide to help you question popular culture and cultivate radical body positivity. With this groundbreaking book, you’ll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty; understand the unique tools girls of color have to counter negative body image; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You’ll also learn how to call out diet culture, and discover ways to move beyond your own inner critic and start building the unconditional love for yourself that you deserve.
It’s time to explode society’s beauty standards, stop messing with diets, wear what you want, and recognize that your body is your business. This book will help you find your way to radical body positivity, one step at a time.
It’s time to ditch harmful, outdated beauty standards and build real, lasting body positivity. It's time for a self-love revolution!
Every day we see movies, magazines, and social media that make us feel like we need to change how we look. This takes a toll on how we think about ourselves—and how we allow others to treat us. And while many teens feel shame about their body, being a teen girl of color can be hard in unique ways. Maybe you feel alienated by the mainstream image of beauty, which is still thin, white and able-bodied. In addition to that, you may also feel pressure from within your community to measure up to a different—but equally unfair—beauty standard. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you’re surrounded by these unrealistic—and problematic—ideas about your body?
In The Self-Love Revolution, leading body image expert and creator of #LoseHateNotWeight Virgie Tovar offers an unapologetic guide to help you question popular culture and cultivate radical body positivity. With this groundbreaking book, you’ll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty; understand the unique tools girls of color have to counter negative body image; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You’ll also learn how to call out diet culture, and discover ways to move beyond your own inner critic and start building the unconditional love for yourself that you deserve.
It’s time to explode society’s beauty standards, stop messing with diets, wear what you want, and recognize that your body is your business. This book will help you find your way to radical body positivity, one step at a time.
175 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 1, 2020
47 people are currently reading
1035 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
March 28, 2020
The Self- Love Revolution is a self-help book that promotes body positivity in young women. I'm not exactly young (38!) but still found this book inspiring and interesting. I hadn't heard of this author before but now know she is well known in USA as a leading expert on weight based discrimination. I especially loved the paragraph "Hating ourselves takes up a lot of energy and time. Imagine all the stuff you'd get done if you didn't feel self-conscious or worried about what other people think...." Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my digital copy of this book.
March 10, 2020
I received an advanced reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.
This is a fabulous book for any detail of any age (although the cover seems to imply its for teens). It's never too late and your never too old to discover self love or love yourself entirely inside and out.
This book has some fantastic information within it and I loved the journal prompts which really made me sit and think and approach things in different ways.
I urge all women especially with low self esteem, to read this book!
This is a fabulous book for any detail of any age (although the cover seems to imply its for teens). It's never too late and your never too old to discover self love or love yourself entirely inside and out.
This book has some fantastic information within it and I loved the journal prompts which really made me sit and think and approach things in different ways.
I urge all women especially with low self esteem, to read this book!
February 4, 2021
This book could be a great resource for a young women's discussion group, but please know that it does include discussion of the following possibly triggering topics: hatred of one's own body, eating disorders, self-harm, sexual abuse, and fatphobia.
"That's what it means to be a human. That's what it means to show up. Not to strive for perfection, but to know that everything we could ever need lives inside us."
"That's what it means to be a human. That's what it means to show up. Not to strive for perfection, but to know that everything we could ever need lives inside us."
May 21, 2021
Although “The Self-Love Revolution” is a book whose target audience are teen girls of color, I feel that the Tovar’s words can also heavily resonate with women of color as well.
“The Self-Love Revolution” is a part of a book series called “Instant Help Solutions” and is written especially for teens and offers practical tips and strategies for dealing with a variety of mental health issues and life challenges.
The book consists of an introduction, sixteen chapters divided into three parts, and an conclusion. The main purpose of this book is to acknowledge that teen girls of color not only have to face the pressure look a certain way by the dominant white culture standards but they also expected to look a certain way based on their culture’s standards as well as learned to stand up against racism, sexism, and fatphobia.
In the introduction, the author starts her book with a letter to the reader in which she expresses how girls have been taught to be afraid of their bodies instead of taking ownership of their bodies. Tovar also uses her introduction to briefly discuss body justice and introduce herself to the reader. At the end of the introduction, she introduces the concept of radical body positivity and informs the reader that the best way to practice this is by getting to know yourself through journal exercises at the end of each chapter.
In part one: our messy world, Tovar discusses beauty standards, fatphobia, racism, food obsession, and diet culture. In the first part of the book, Tovar compares the different definitions and standards of beauty on a global level. In addition, in the first part of the book, Tovar shows the reader how fataphobia and racism affects body image as well the perception of one’s body.
In part two: thoughts on common body confusions, Tovar seeks to answer questions teen girls of color have such as why is my family always talking about my body, why isn’t confidence enough, what do I say to trolls, and how do I live myself?
In part three: be you, not what someone else thinks you should be, Tovar encourages the reader to embrace their body as it currently is because it does amazing things everyday. In this last part of the book, she also empowers the reader to say no at least once a day, never skip meals, take every hour spent criticizing your body and do something else that’s amazing, find genuine allies, and wear what you want.
The book concludes with Tovar congratulating the reader for finishing the book. In addition, Tovar reminds the reader that this is not an ordinary book but is meant to be a guide to start a revolution. Through “The Self-Love Revolution” Tovar provides a path to help girls of color navigate through a culture meant to destroy them. By providing an new vocabulary as well as examples from her own life, Tovar hopes that those reading this book have a moment of self realization and learn to fully embrace that they are amazing, unique, and have the power to change the world.
I love this book because it’s a book I wish I had when I was a teenager. Tovar’s words really resonated with because I too know how it feels to be the only or one of few people of color in a situation. I too know what it’s like to not feel attractive or worthy because I didn’t look like the people of TV or movies. As I wrote as the beginning of this review, although this book is geared towards teen girls of color, I feel that women of color could greatly benefit from Tovar’s words as well since I believe that some women are not living as the best versions of themselves because of hurt they experienced during their childhood and teenage years.
“The Self-Love Revolution” is a part of a book series called “Instant Help Solutions” and is written especially for teens and offers practical tips and strategies for dealing with a variety of mental health issues and life challenges.
The book consists of an introduction, sixteen chapters divided into three parts, and an conclusion. The main purpose of this book is to acknowledge that teen girls of color not only have to face the pressure look a certain way by the dominant white culture standards but they also expected to look a certain way based on their culture’s standards as well as learned to stand up against racism, sexism, and fatphobia.
In the introduction, the author starts her book with a letter to the reader in which she expresses how girls have been taught to be afraid of their bodies instead of taking ownership of their bodies. Tovar also uses her introduction to briefly discuss body justice and introduce herself to the reader. At the end of the introduction, she introduces the concept of radical body positivity and informs the reader that the best way to practice this is by getting to know yourself through journal exercises at the end of each chapter.
In part one: our messy world, Tovar discusses beauty standards, fatphobia, racism, food obsession, and diet culture. In the first part of the book, Tovar compares the different definitions and standards of beauty on a global level. In addition, in the first part of the book, Tovar shows the reader how fataphobia and racism affects body image as well the perception of one’s body.
In part two: thoughts on common body confusions, Tovar seeks to answer questions teen girls of color have such as why is my family always talking about my body, why isn’t confidence enough, what do I say to trolls, and how do I live myself?
In part three: be you, not what someone else thinks you should be, Tovar encourages the reader to embrace their body as it currently is because it does amazing things everyday. In this last part of the book, she also empowers the reader to say no at least once a day, never skip meals, take every hour spent criticizing your body and do something else that’s amazing, find genuine allies, and wear what you want.
The book concludes with Tovar congratulating the reader for finishing the book. In addition, Tovar reminds the reader that this is not an ordinary book but is meant to be a guide to start a revolution. Through “The Self-Love Revolution” Tovar provides a path to help girls of color navigate through a culture meant to destroy them. By providing an new vocabulary as well as examples from her own life, Tovar hopes that those reading this book have a moment of self realization and learn to fully embrace that they are amazing, unique, and have the power to change the world.
I love this book because it’s a book I wish I had when I was a teenager. Tovar’s words really resonated with because I too know how it feels to be the only or one of few people of color in a situation. I too know what it’s like to not feel attractive or worthy because I didn’t look like the people of TV or movies. As I wrote as the beginning of this review, although this book is geared towards teen girls of color, I feel that women of color could greatly benefit from Tovar’s words as well since I believe that some women are not living as the best versions of themselves because of hurt they experienced during their childhood and teenage years.
March 9, 2020
When I first saw this book I noticed it was a self love book pointed towards teenagers. I struggle with self image and self love so I figured it wouldn’t hurt. And wow I am so glad I picked it up. It has such a good message for any age and everyone should read it. I found myself not able to put it down and feeling inspired to go against any negative speak and embrace the love of myself. This is a must read!! I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
May 11, 2021
Really great read. Educational and the personality of the author really shines through. There’s journal prompts after each chapter. Definitely challenged me to think different about myself and it’s always a good reminder to have defined things like sexism and fat phobia. Everyone’s opinions and experiences matter and the more I learn the better I can be an advocate for myself and others.
December 27, 2021
I liked the journal prompts, they made me reflect on how this book applies to my life.
April 6, 2020
Thank you Netgally and the author for the gifted copy. All thoughts are my own.
A lot of the time when you see body positivity articles/books/posts whatever, it tends to be caucasian females. Every one should feel represented and this book really helps with that. It's full of great info, and is affirming but not preachy which I really appreciated. I'm in my early 30s so I'm not the target demographic but I still found it relatable and relevant.
There are some repeat sentences. I'm not sure if that was intended or not :-)
4****
A lot of the time when you see body positivity articles/books/posts whatever, it tends to be caucasian females. Every one should feel represented and this book really helps with that. It's full of great info, and is affirming but not preachy which I really appreciated. I'm in my early 30s so I'm not the target demographic but I still found it relatable and relevant.
There are some repeat sentences. I'm not sure if that was intended or not :-)
4****
April 18, 2021
Misleading title, poorly written, unsupported claims. There are many examples, but I'll only include a few:
1. One large issue with this book is the lack of defining what "fat" and "thin" mean to the author. My interpretation is probably very different from hers and from other people. These are very subjective. For someone making so many arguments using this vocabulary, it is essential to explicitly define their meaning quantitatively. Otherwise, there is very little grounding.
2. For a book with "self-love revolution" in the title, I expected this to be more broad in focus and talk about treating yourself to solo dinners, bubble baths, dedicated me-time, and the like. But this book is heavily focused on "fatphobia" and body image, with nods to sexism and racism affecting one's experience of fatphobia.
3. Constantly talks about people, mostly women, being fat-shamed but never brings up the other side, that society also doesn't approve of extremely thin, anorexic/bulimic people. Furthermore, the author completely ignores that society also has standards for how men should look: not bald, washboard abs, tall, great facial hair (in some cases).
4. The idea that "my body was meant to be fat" is completely absurd. Also, the author writes "You've probably already heard all the arguments that being fat is unhealthy and makes you sick. What we never hear about is how research clearly shows that it's almost impossible for a naturally fat person to lose enough weight to be considered thin. The Huffington Post shared in an article that the chances of a fat woman becoming a thin woman is 0.8 percent."
- There is zero reference to this Huffington Post article.
- The Huffington Post isn't really a reliable source for any medical advice.
- Define "fat" and define "thin".
- Where are the citations to the literature?
5. "...research that states that fat people have advantages over thin people - like we have stronger muscles - and one study showed that fatter patients lived longer after chemotherapy treatment for a certain kind of cancer than thinner patients did".
- What are these health advantages? "Stronger muscles"? I'm calling bullshit. Show me references to literature.
- This sentence actually does have a reference, but it's only for the latter part (about the chemotherapy).
- This is extremely laughable. Just because a fat person might outlive a thin one after chemo for this one kind of cancer doesn't validate that fat people on the whole have significant health advantages over thin ones, which is what the author is implying. Furthermore, without sticking some numbers on this, I have no idea how much longer the fat people outlived the thin ones. Are we talking weeks? Years?
- I looked for this research paper, but I could only find the abstract. I found a related paper from 2020 (Overweight is associated with better prognosis in metastatic colorectal cancer patients treated with bevacizumab plus FOLFOX chemotherapy). They found that, comparing obese, overweight, and normal patients (BMI ranges listed in paper), that the difference in median overall survival for obese versus normal patients was 4.4 months. I know that's better than nothing, but really?
1. One large issue with this book is the lack of defining what "fat" and "thin" mean to the author. My interpretation is probably very different from hers and from other people. These are very subjective. For someone making so many arguments using this vocabulary, it is essential to explicitly define their meaning quantitatively. Otherwise, there is very little grounding.
2. For a book with "self-love revolution" in the title, I expected this to be more broad in focus and talk about treating yourself to solo dinners, bubble baths, dedicated me-time, and the like. But this book is heavily focused on "fatphobia" and body image, with nods to sexism and racism affecting one's experience of fatphobia.
3. Constantly talks about people, mostly women, being fat-shamed but never brings up the other side, that society also doesn't approve of extremely thin, anorexic/bulimic people. Furthermore, the author completely ignores that society also has standards for how men should look: not bald, washboard abs, tall, great facial hair (in some cases).
4. The idea that "my body was meant to be fat" is completely absurd. Also, the author writes "You've probably already heard all the arguments that being fat is unhealthy and makes you sick. What we never hear about is how research clearly shows that it's almost impossible for a naturally fat person to lose enough weight to be considered thin. The Huffington Post shared in an article that the chances of a fat woman becoming a thin woman is 0.8 percent."
- There is zero reference to this Huffington Post article.
- The Huffington Post isn't really a reliable source for any medical advice.
- Define "fat" and define "thin".
- Where are the citations to the literature?
5. "...research that states that fat people have advantages over thin people - like we have stronger muscles - and one study showed that fatter patients lived longer after chemotherapy treatment for a certain kind of cancer than thinner patients did".
- What are these health advantages? "Stronger muscles"? I'm calling bullshit. Show me references to literature.
- This sentence actually does have a reference, but it's only for the latter part (about the chemotherapy).
- This is extremely laughable. Just because a fat person might outlive a thin one after chemo for this one kind of cancer doesn't validate that fat people on the whole have significant health advantages over thin ones, which is what the author is implying. Furthermore, without sticking some numbers on this, I have no idea how much longer the fat people outlived the thin ones. Are we talking weeks? Years?
- I looked for this research paper, but I could only find the abstract. I found a related paper from 2020 (Overweight is associated with better prognosis in metastatic colorectal cancer patients treated with bevacizumab plus FOLFOX chemotherapy). They found that, comparing obese, overweight, and normal patients (BMI ranges listed in paper), that the difference in median overall survival for obese versus normal patients was 4.4 months. I know that's better than nothing, but really?
April 13, 2020
ARC Review: Received for free via Netgalley for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
CW/TW: fatmisia
I think this book is important, especially for your readers. It's one of those books that I wish I had when I was growing up but am glad is existing now. Even as we learn to love the bodies we're in, there is still so much to learn, and books like this one will for sure help us get where we need to!
CW/TW: fatmisia
I think this book is important, especially for your readers. It's one of those books that I wish I had when I was growing up but am glad is existing now. Even as we learn to love the bodies we're in, there is still so much to learn, and books like this one will for sure help us get where we need to!
Hard truth: love that is conditional on how you look isn’t love at all. It’s a form of manipulation, control, and abuse. These things hurt us.
Beauty standards weren’t designed to benefit girls or women— they were designed to control us
Does this cultural idea benefit me and the people I care about?
Nope.
August 1, 2020
I seem to have missed what the focus group for this book was supposed to be, based upon the language. Apparently this is recommended for a younger audience, but I think this book has sound advice for all ages (and all genders, despite having "girls" in the title).
There are some quotes that resonated with me.
"Sometimes our family feels like they have an extra-special gold-plated permission slip that they can use whenever they want to pass judgment on us." I felt this in my gut. I love how she (the author) points out that some of our biggest critics (besides ourselves) are those who we grow up with, and these people feel entitled to have and share an opinion about our bodies with us. And I am so glad she pointed this out, as this isn't widely discussed, especially among differing cultures that normalize this kind of behavior, as it is treated as part of "tradition," which she also discusses.
"No one is ever too old to change their ways." Yup. Exactly. Yet, I come across many individuals who assume that, once they hit a certain age, that they can use the excuse of "well, when I was growing up, this is how it was....*insert racist/queerphobic/body-shaming statement here*." Please. You can still think for yourself, even after X age.
"Confidence also can't solve big cultural problems, like sexism, racism, homophobia, and fatphobia." I mean, yeah, pretty much. Being confident can do wonders in terms of one's outlook on life and self-esteem, but will only go so far. Her statement here is pretty self-explanatory.
Now, I had some issues with a few snippets here and there of Tovar's book.
I like how we're reminded that health above else is what matters and that health does not necessarily come in one size, but I wish that message was expanded upon and became more of the central focus of the book.
Her claim that "fat people have more health problems because of the stress of being attacked constantly for being fat" didn't have a footnote or even anecdotal evidence behind this. Where's the research to back this up? Did I miss it? Please let me know, because I didn't see where she obtained this "research" from. I'm not necessarily doubting this claim, but it's a pretty weighty statement to make without proof.
Oh, and I really wish there wasn't such a broad comparison made between trans women and bigger bodies in relation to the lack of acceptance they experience. Tovar writes: "Trans women, for instance, experience physical violence at high rates for wearing things that are not considered appropriate for their gender assigned at birth." Yes, this is true, especially among POC trans women, and is tied to the eventual deaths of these individuals. It's tragic, and we must fight to protect our trans sisters. However, she follows this sentence with the following: "Fat people often get verbally harassed or stared at for wearing bolder clothes." Um. Okay. Yes, this does happen. Fat people are shamed if a certain outfit is worn because society deems it as "not fitting" for certain body types. People are bullies (or as she says, trolls). However, however, however......do NOT equate these two issues. Do NOT put these two sentences together, side-by-side, in the same paragraph. Fat people are not dying at the same alarming rate that trans individuals are for the way they appear to the world. Even with the outstanding difference in the language ("violence" versus "stared") should provide enough of a hint that these are not the same experiences. I should not explain this. I found it very jarring that these two issues were written as if they are on the same level. They are not.
So, I'm conflicted. There were times where I found myself saying "heck, yeah! preach!" in response to the many body-positive, size-confirming notes in here. But there were other times that the language was more harmful than not, and quite frankly, there was a lack of self-awareness on the author's part.
There are some quotes that resonated with me.
"Sometimes our family feels like they have an extra-special gold-plated permission slip that they can use whenever they want to pass judgment on us." I felt this in my gut. I love how she (the author) points out that some of our biggest critics (besides ourselves) are those who we grow up with, and these people feel entitled to have and share an opinion about our bodies with us. And I am so glad she pointed this out, as this isn't widely discussed, especially among differing cultures that normalize this kind of behavior, as it is treated as part of "tradition," which she also discusses.
"No one is ever too old to change their ways." Yup. Exactly. Yet, I come across many individuals who assume that, once they hit a certain age, that they can use the excuse of "well, when I was growing up, this is how it was....*insert racist/queerphobic/body-shaming statement here*." Please. You can still think for yourself, even after X age.
"Confidence also can't solve big cultural problems, like sexism, racism, homophobia, and fatphobia." I mean, yeah, pretty much. Being confident can do wonders in terms of one's outlook on life and self-esteem, but will only go so far. Her statement here is pretty self-explanatory.
Now, I had some issues with a few snippets here and there of Tovar's book.
I like how we're reminded that health above else is what matters and that health does not necessarily come in one size, but I wish that message was expanded upon and became more of the central focus of the book.
Her claim that "fat people have more health problems because of the stress of being attacked constantly for being fat" didn't have a footnote or even anecdotal evidence behind this. Where's the research to back this up? Did I miss it? Please let me know, because I didn't see where she obtained this "research" from. I'm not necessarily doubting this claim, but it's a pretty weighty statement to make without proof.
Oh, and I really wish there wasn't such a broad comparison made between trans women and bigger bodies in relation to the lack of acceptance they experience. Tovar writes: "Trans women, for instance, experience physical violence at high rates for wearing things that are not considered appropriate for their gender assigned at birth." Yes, this is true, especially among POC trans women, and is tied to the eventual deaths of these individuals. It's tragic, and we must fight to protect our trans sisters. However, she follows this sentence with the following: "Fat people often get verbally harassed or stared at for wearing bolder clothes." Um. Okay. Yes, this does happen. Fat people are shamed if a certain outfit is worn because society deems it as "not fitting" for certain body types. People are bullies (or as she says, trolls). However, however, however......do NOT equate these two issues. Do NOT put these two sentences together, side-by-side, in the same paragraph. Fat people are not dying at the same alarming rate that trans individuals are for the way they appear to the world. Even with the outstanding difference in the language ("violence" versus "stared") should provide enough of a hint that these are not the same experiences. I should not explain this. I found it very jarring that these two issues were written as if they are on the same level. They are not.
So, I'm conflicted. There were times where I found myself saying "heck, yeah! preach!" in response to the many body-positive, size-confirming notes in here. But there were other times that the language was more harmful than not, and quite frankly, there was a lack of self-awareness on the author's part.
June 21, 2020
I wish, wish, wish I had had this book to read when I was younger! Virgie Tovar's Self-Love Revolution is a primer on oppression and self-love as an act of resistance. Through the lens of her own experiences surviving bullying and discrimination related to culture, skin color and appearance, Virgie Tovar lays out the whys, wherefores and how-tos of a meaningful life as a young woman in a gender-biased society.
The thing is, this isn't really just a book. It's a course. It's a program. It's a journey. It's a series of questions that beg more questions, all of which get at the core of: how do I feel about my body and myself? why might I feel those ways? how can I support myself to have an easier time in this world built on other peoples' biases?
Ms. Tovar's language is anecdotally accessible ... reading this book is like sitting with her at her favorite Boba place and listening to her talk about pivotal moments in her life. However, it's not just one woman's testimony that upholds the thesis of Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color. Ms. Tovar draws on research and scholarship by herself as well as numerous experts from intersectional feminist communities.
She tells readers everything I wish I had learned when I was a teen and began my own journey with disordered eating.
She tells readers what I wish I had felt when I grappled alone with my first peer sexual assault.
Respectfully, tells readers how to take care of themselves even when the grown adults in their lives don't necessarily have the tools to do this without passing on harmful and oppressive beliefs.
I recommend this book to young people who identify as female without reservation. I myself am white, of a culturally mixed family background, and I benefitted greatly from the book's mention and unpacking of cultural, ethnic and skin-tone bias. But more importantly I can see how this aspect of The Self-Love Revolution would be extremely important to young people of Black, Latinx, Indigenous, and Asian heritage and to young people with disabilities or who feel in any other way marginalized.
Note: Though the book seems clearly written for young cis women and young people who were assigned female at birth, The Self-Love Revolution nods numerous times to the existence of more than two genders and of the necessity to incorporate all people into a body-positive society, regardless of gender expression.
The thing is, this isn't really just a book. It's a course. It's a program. It's a journey. It's a series of questions that beg more questions, all of which get at the core of: how do I feel about my body and myself? why might I feel those ways? how can I support myself to have an easier time in this world built on other peoples' biases?
Ms. Tovar's language is anecdotally accessible ... reading this book is like sitting with her at her favorite Boba place and listening to her talk about pivotal moments in her life. However, it's not just one woman's testimony that upholds the thesis of Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color. Ms. Tovar draws on research and scholarship by herself as well as numerous experts from intersectional feminist communities.
She tells readers everything I wish I had learned when I was a teen and began my own journey with disordered eating.
She tells readers what I wish I had felt when I grappled alone with my first peer sexual assault.
Respectfully, tells readers how to take care of themselves even when the grown adults in their lives don't necessarily have the tools to do this without passing on harmful and oppressive beliefs.
I recommend this book to young people who identify as female without reservation. I myself am white, of a culturally mixed family background, and I benefitted greatly from the book's mention and unpacking of cultural, ethnic and skin-tone bias. But more importantly I can see how this aspect of The Self-Love Revolution would be extremely important to young people of Black, Latinx, Indigenous, and Asian heritage and to young people with disabilities or who feel in any other way marginalized.
Note: Though the book seems clearly written for young cis women and young people who were assigned female at birth, The Self-Love Revolution nods numerous times to the existence of more than two genders and of the necessity to incorporate all people into a body-positive society, regardless of gender expression.
October 9, 2020
I picked this book up, quickly, on a library run last weekend and I'm so very glad I did. It's written for teenagers, but this newly 50 year old woman got A LOT out of reading it. I wish I had had a book like this when I was growing up as a third culture, African-American Asian in the 1980's. Personally I had to get on the other side of 35 to start accepting all the "non-standard" parts of myself fully and without shame. And this book BREAKS IT DOWN and makes the very strong case for SELF LOVE as means towards achieving peace, happiness and the ability to harnass one's talents. More than that, this book asks you to think critically about why you accept messages from a phobic, money hungry, patriarchal world. As the author, Virgie Tovar writes: THE STANDARD SUCKS.
Tovar's prose is direct and affecting. She doesn't waste time with pages of examples, though the ones drawn from her own experience were very instructive (the "yellow umbrella" story and vignettes of her clearly drawn, all-too-human family had me in "I laughed! I cried!" mode). At the end of each chapter she asks you to "Write It Down" and asks questions that help you reflect on the lessons imparted. Yes, at 50 I still was holding on to the "But isn't being fat unhealthy?". I'm glad to say I've thrown away that old, hurtful, vicious mode of thought, thanks to this read.
It feels great to grow into one's very own self, but "Self Love" sounds too vast for most of us to actually apply. This book provides concrete suggestions for how to use one's time and energy focusing on much more useful pursuits, and gives a blueprint for gathering a group of friends and building an environment where one can feel safe and supported as they move through life.
If I could stand on a street corner and give out 2 books this year, this would MOST DEFINITELY be one of them. A hugely important book and I'm so very glad I read it. Thank you, Virgie Tovar!
Tovar's prose is direct and affecting. She doesn't waste time with pages of examples, though the ones drawn from her own experience were very instructive (the "yellow umbrella" story and vignettes of her clearly drawn, all-too-human family had me in "I laughed! I cried!" mode). At the end of each chapter she asks you to "Write It Down" and asks questions that help you reflect on the lessons imparted. Yes, at 50 I still was holding on to the "But isn't being fat unhealthy?". I'm glad to say I've thrown away that old, hurtful, vicious mode of thought, thanks to this read.
It feels great to grow into one's very own self, but "Self Love" sounds too vast for most of us to actually apply. This book provides concrete suggestions for how to use one's time and energy focusing on much more useful pursuits, and gives a blueprint for gathering a group of friends and building an environment where one can feel safe and supported as they move through life.
If I could stand on a street corner and give out 2 books this year, this would MOST DEFINITELY be one of them. A hugely important book and I'm so very glad I read it. Thank you, Virgie Tovar!
June 10, 2022
I appreciate the concept of this book and why it was written. Impossible beauty standards affect women all over the world, and they can be very damaging to one's self-esteem, especially if you fall under a further marginalized group, such as being a "girl of color." This book tackles body positivity through a lens aware of internalized and hidden racism, which is extremely important to acknowledge. Virgie Tovar is overall very aware of these kinds of things and how to address them, and I love that she challenges ideas such as how confidence on its own really isn't key, and self-love is way more effective in the long-run.
Still, I found this book blind in certain areas. I am Asian, and we experience a different kind of racism from those who are brown or black, and the kinds of problems we face were not really discussed in the book. Also, while I like how this book dismantles fatphobia, as a naturally smaller and weaker looking person, I couldn't help but feel insecure about my body after reading these things. Petite people do not have it necessarily easy, especially when we are Asian, and we deal with infantilization, another thing not discussed in this book (she discusses the opposite happening with young women who are brown or black).
Overall though, I think that so many young women could benefit from reading this book, especially if they are African-American or Latinx. Even being outside these cultures, there are a lot of smart quotes and good advice for people of any age, gender, or culture.
Still, I found this book blind in certain areas. I am Asian, and we experience a different kind of racism from those who are brown or black, and the kinds of problems we face were not really discussed in the book. Also, while I like how this book dismantles fatphobia, as a naturally smaller and weaker looking person, I couldn't help but feel insecure about my body after reading these things. Petite people do not have it necessarily easy, especially when we are Asian, and we deal with infantilization, another thing not discussed in this book (she discusses the opposite happening with young women who are brown or black).
Overall though, I think that so many young women could benefit from reading this book, especially if they are African-American or Latinx. Even being outside these cultures, there are a lot of smart quotes and good advice for people of any age, gender, or culture.
October 19, 2021
Read this for the Bloody Buddy's Instagram book club.
This is basically another version of "More than a Body," but this one is targeted to people of color and fat people. The general message of the book I liked, but I disagreed with some things she said.
She defined racism as "the idea that white people are better than all other races." I disagree. I think racism is if a person of ANY race thinks they are better than another BECAUSE of their race. An Asian could be racist against a black person and vice versa.
She also talked about fatphobia and how people should be able to wear and eat what they want, etc. While I agree with that, she didn't seem to put any emphasis on health. Yes, eat what you want, but keep in mind that health can be an issue with your diet REGARDLESS of what you weigh. She seemed to preach eat whatever and however much you want - don't be afraid to be fat. She forgot to mention, "But beware of killing your arteries and becoming diabetic with this method... Future death ahead if diet isn't somewhat in check." Weight/body size doesn't equal health. So whether skinny or fat, she didn't seem to mention eating based on what our body needs/intuitive eating. Wished she would have a bit.
In short, ignore this book and just go read "More than a Body" instead.
This is basically another version of "More than a Body," but this one is targeted to people of color and fat people. The general message of the book I liked, but I disagreed with some things she said.
She defined racism as "the idea that white people are better than all other races." I disagree. I think racism is if a person of ANY race thinks they are better than another BECAUSE of their race. An Asian could be racist against a black person and vice versa.
She also talked about fatphobia and how people should be able to wear and eat what they want, etc. While I agree with that, she didn't seem to put any emphasis on health. Yes, eat what you want, but keep in mind that health can be an issue with your diet REGARDLESS of what you weigh. She seemed to preach eat whatever and however much you want - don't be afraid to be fat. She forgot to mention, "But beware of killing your arteries and becoming diabetic with this method... Future death ahead if diet isn't somewhat in check." Weight/body size doesn't equal health. So whether skinny or fat, she didn't seem to mention eating based on what our body needs/intuitive eating. Wished she would have a bit.
In short, ignore this book and just go read "More than a Body" instead.
April 19, 2020
Graciously received a free copy through first reads.
This author does many good things in this book, but there are also some not so great things.
I teach about self esteem in higher education, so I was excited about reading this book. However, I would say the main focus was for young people who are overweight, I wouldn't give this book to my friend's daughter of color because she struggles with self identity, but not weight issues, so that narrow focus was disappointing.
I'm glad she mentioned microaggressions, such an important topic. However, the term microagressions does is not just about racism, as said in this book. Microagressions can also be about gender, disability, etc.
While I totally agree that young girls should feel comfortable with their bodies, I do not agree with the author's stance on just eat whatever you want. Our goal is to help young girls be healthy, yes mentally, but also physically. You should cut back on soda, not because of how it makes someone look, but because it can give you a lifelong disease and slowly kill you, I know, it happened to me.
Overall was disappointed, this book has potential, but needs major revisions.
This author does many good things in this book, but there are also some not so great things.
I teach about self esteem in higher education, so I was excited about reading this book. However, I would say the main focus was for young people who are overweight, I wouldn't give this book to my friend's daughter of color because she struggles with self identity, but not weight issues, so that narrow focus was disappointing.
I'm glad she mentioned microaggressions, such an important topic. However, the term microagressions does is not just about racism, as said in this book. Microagressions can also be about gender, disability, etc.
While I totally agree that young girls should feel comfortable with their bodies, I do not agree with the author's stance on just eat whatever you want. Our goal is to help young girls be healthy, yes mentally, but also physically. You should cut back on soda, not because of how it makes someone look, but because it can give you a lifelong disease and slowly kill you, I know, it happened to me.
Overall was disappointed, this book has potential, but needs major revisions.
March 16, 2020
I'm generally not a fan of self-help books as most tend to be stale, repetitive, shallow, inconsiderate and impractical in their rhetoric. This book was not that. One of the main things that sets it apart is the inclusion of things to say or do to change your outlook, lifestyle or approach to loving one's self and to life in general even. She notes the issue, provides context for causation and then gives the reader pragmatic suggestions and solutions.
Virgie did a great job of breaking down more complex topics in an easy-to-digest manner without being patronizing, which is so important especially with a book aimed at teens.
While its aimed at teens and young women, I think girls and women of all ages can benefit from this, whether as an introduction to the topic/field of self-love or as a reminder.
Virgie did a great job of breaking down more complex topics in an easy-to-digest manner without being patronizing, which is so important especially with a book aimed at teens.
While its aimed at teens and young women, I think girls and women of all ages can benefit from this, whether as an introduction to the topic/field of self-love or as a reminder.
May 29, 2020
Readers are encouraged to question and reject mainstream beauty standards in favor of body positivity and radical self-acceptance in this fresh, inclusive guide for young woman of color.✨
✨
I’m not big into the self-help genre, but Tovar’s words sparkle among cliched calls to “love yourself.”
💕
With wit, relatable anecdotes, and on-point historical and cultural context, she succeeds in showing exactly how we’re programmed to feel crappy about ourselves and why the heck we shouldn’t.
✍️
Practical steps to making that happen are provided, but Tovar’s tone doesn’t condescend. There’s a current of we’re-all-a-work-in-progress that runs throughout that renders this book utterly charming.
📖
Though I’m not the book’s target audience, it’s the love letter I needed as a teen. And if I’m being honest it’s the love letter I didn’t know I needed right now.
✨
I’m not big into the self-help genre, but Tovar’s words sparkle among cliched calls to “love yourself.”
💕
With wit, relatable anecdotes, and on-point historical and cultural context, she succeeds in showing exactly how we’re programmed to feel crappy about ourselves and why the heck we shouldn’t.
✍️
Practical steps to making that happen are provided, but Tovar’s tone doesn’t condescend. There’s a current of we’re-all-a-work-in-progress that runs throughout that renders this book utterly charming.
📖
Though I’m not the book’s target audience, it’s the love letter I needed as a teen. And if I’m being honest it’s the love letter I didn’t know I needed right now.
August 20, 2020
Great book for teens! As an adult reader, i was transported back to my youth and couldn't help but wonder how useful hearing these messages of self-acceptance and celebration would have been. Specifically comments on non-white young women and the deconstructs the harmful messages white-marketing has on them. Wonderfully done. Virgie Tovar has a friendly voice and strong message. Get out your yellow umbrellas, and shine on ladies! <3
March 10, 2023
Sensational! Great book that reminds me of a Women Studies 101 class. Tovar breaks down complex ideas about beauty standards and fatphobia. It's an easy to read book with great writing prompts about self love, confidence, and culture. I also want to add that people other than girls can/should read this book. I did not find myself feeling like this book had highly gendered language although there are specific explorations of oppression that woman/girls face. Highly recommend!
January 30, 2025
An interesting read for anyone who has felt frustrated with themselves or others for perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards. Society tends to teach us what beautiful is instead of teaching us how to find the beauty in what we already are. This book explains that and gives you journal prompts to help deconstruct your view of beauty to find space for a little less self-criticism and a little more self-love.
January 1, 2021
It's weird. I was reading this book with utmost gentleness, as if I was reading this book to my inner child who learned to dislike herself growing up. And as I was reading it a long with her, i cried and remembered how far I have come in learning to love myself as I am. I wish I had this book as I went through puberty.
October 3, 2021
This book was such a wonderful read! It explains diet culture, racism and how it affects the body image of people of color, and how to be an ally and how to look for allies as a fat person. I highly recommend this read, especially for young people who are just learning about fat phobia and fat activism as well as feminism.
August 23, 2020
I love this book so much! It has really helped me personally with finding ways to love myself for who I am. I recommend this book to anyone who is struggling to love themselves and spends a lot of time self-deprecating (like me). :)
June 3, 2020
This book is amazing!!! It is geared toward young adults and I wish I had read it when I was a teen. Even reading it at 25, it was exactly what I needed to hear in more ways than one.
June 13, 2020
This is a foundation for the radical self-love that will change this 🌎.
Had I had this resource of tools when I was a kid, I would have actually loved myself in spite of the hate.
Had I had this resource of tools when I was a kid, I would have actually loved myself in spite of the hate.
January 26, 2021
Loved this. Very casual but still impactful and makes you think.
Read
April 18, 2021Didnt totally finish since not intended target audience but wanted to support author and ideas
January 26, 2022
An anti fat-shaming and "don't worry about your appearance" book. Just skimmed it.
August 8, 2022
Good to read, and a great book for young girls, say middle-school aged.
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