Recovering From Reality

by Alexis Haines

As the star of the E! Reality series Pretty Wild, Alexis appeared to be living the glamorous life. In reality, she was battling depression, drug addiction and trauma. Her firsthand experience with sexual assault and substance abuse, combined with the explosive effects of social media storytelling, ignited a desire in her to eradicate shame around our greatest struggles.

In Recovering from Reality, Alexis shares how she learned to turn embarrassment into empowerment, using her public meltdown as an opportunity to pull back the covers on the misogyny and abuse that fuels so much of popular culture. With profound insight, Alexis shows how women can stand up and heal from the institutionalized and systemic trauma that keeps them from recognizing how powerful they truly are.

From panhandling drugs on the streets to partying with some of the biggest rock stars in the world (often on the same day), Alexis’ life was more than just pretty wild; it was nearly fatal. After facing up to six years in the correctional system due to her burglary conviction, Alexis got sober at the age of 19 and began to build the extraordinary life she lives today. Recovering From Reality documents her journey, tells the true story behind the “Bling Ring” and explains why her involvement became a defining moment in her life.

In this gripping memoir, Alexis shares what it’s like to go from hot mess to hot mom, showing how we all have the power to change the world, and to find our true passion and meaning through some of our most shameful experiences. Inspired by her public journey from reality TV meme to sobriety, motherhood and wellness, Alexis is living proof that you can heal yourself— if you’re willing to recover from reality.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

207 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 24, 2019

Reviews

[Emily Norris · Rating 1 out of 5]

I watched Pretty Wild back in the day and have been a big fan of Alexis since I stumbled upon her podcast last year. I was really excited to read this book and assumed that it would be on brand with her podcast and I would love it, but I have to say that this book has completely changed my perception of Alexis. She constantly preaches acceptance and loving people for who they are, as well as the importance of allowing people to get sober/ deal with their shame in their own time, but this book is in direct defiance with a lot of what she has said in the past. I honestly couldn't even finish this book because it was full of inconsistencies (her type of initial injury for which she was prescribed medicine as a child varies depending upon which interview you listen to). Possibly most upsetting to me, is how she completely throws Tess under the bus in what I feel is a desperate ploy to get more readers. Tess deserves her own opportunity to recover from reality tv and her drug addiction, but Alexis never shy's away from an opportunity to drag Tess's name through the mud. She tells stories of Tess that I don't feel are hers to tell. She had plenty of interesting experiences of her own, there was no need to bring Tess into it. She complains how Tess wouldn't sign an NDA in regards to her book, and now I totally understand why. Tess has gotten sober, worked her ass off, and is now a mom, and while it's great that Alexis is comfortable enough to share her past, I think it's so inappropriate and trashy that she doesn't appear to have any qualms about exposing someone else's darkest times. This book is so disappointing and really makes me think that the old Alexis still exists to a certain extent. What she has done in regards to her sobriety and turning her life around is unarguably impressive, but her victim mentality and lack of empathy and respect towards someone she describes as her sister is disheartening. Additionally, any constructive criticism shared about this book by readers is met by Alexis with a seriously bratty attitude and a very lengthy instagram story in which she deflects any responsibility.

[Maura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This whole book is about her past traumas and her drug addiction. I’m confused by the bad reviews because this didn’t feel preachy or like she was bragging at all. She even mentions that she realizes her ‘celeb’ status and skin color offered her more privilege and opportunities than most would receive in her situation. It was a quick read and kept my attention the whole way through. I do agree that it wasn’t edited very well. There were a lot of grammatical errors and at one point it seems like a sentence is cut off half way through. Overall I thought it was great.

[Kayla Bair · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow. I’m five years sober, and thought this book would be genuinely good. I have never been so disappointed. Alexis constantly contradicts herself throughout the entire thing. And for someone who is 8 years sober, she is still very much playing the victim. She also unnecessarily throws Tess under the bus throughout the entire thing. She states, “Tess’s story is not mine to tell” when referring to childhood trauma. Then she proceeds to drag Tess through the mud, for absolutely no reason. If you’re going to tell the parts of someone’s story where they’re falling apart, in the throws of drug addiction... you should just go ahead and tell the story of how they got there. Why do you get to justify your actions, but Tess doesn’t? My opinion of Alexis is completely changed by this book. I no longer look up to her, and I no longer consider her genuine. Don’t waste your money

[yelenska · Rating 3 out of 5]

- Glad to see the person she has become, shes definitely come a long way.
- I liked the little quotes she added at the beginning of each chapter.
- I guess the main conclusion we can draw from her account is how important childhood is in the long term; how every little trauma can have such a powerful, devastating impact later on in life ; how fucked up some parents can be, even if they mean well.

[Danielle Kohs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a huge fan of the show #prettywild back in 2010. In her book, I love hearing how far she’s come since her infamous arrest for the “bling ring.” Openly she describes how she went to rehab for her drug addiction, got married, had two daughters, opened her own rehab house with her husband Evan, and started a podcast called #recoveringwithreality. In her book she’s real and raw, giving the details the media decided to withhold from what had really happened.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty Wild was a huge guilty pleasure for me in 2009 and I always felt that there was more to the story then what was shown on TV. After finding Alexis' podcast and reading this book, I am so incredibly impressed with how she has turned her life around. This book was insightful, inspirational, heartbreaking, and interesting - I would definitely recommend ⭐

[Kimmy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I've been keeping up with Alexis Haines since her Pretty Wild days and have always been fascinated with her story. Our timelines are actually quite similar in that we're about the same age, started using at about the same age, and got our lives together at about the same age so I can really relate to her story. Her life growing up on the outskirts of LA and Hollywood, however, was very different from my life in suburban New Jersey and that certainly adds an element of drama and glamour whether she wants it to or not. I find Alexis to be, strangely perhaps, a great role model. She totally owns her femininity and woo-woo spirituality as well as her past mistakes while standing up for herself, educating herself, and working hard to parent her daughters better than she was parented. She encourages forgiveness where it makes sense but isn't someone who says victims MUST forgive their perpetrators to reach spiritual enlightenment which is a trend I've spotted in other similar books. Lastly, I just genuinely found her memoir really interesting and flew through it, I finished it in less than a day. Highly recommend for anyone who's dealt with substance abuse issues or is just interested in the dark side of reality TV. My only complaint was the Kindle edition at least could have been better edited, I spotted quite a few little mistakes (but I'm nit-picky like that!). Loved it!

[Brianna Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pun intended

Trigger warning: Molestation, Sexual Abuse

This book was pretty wild. Pun intended. From watching Pretty Wild when the show was first airing to following the bling ring case many years ago, I knew Alexis had it bad but I just didn't know how TRULY hard she had in it her early years. Alexis was getting hit left and right from the time she was five years old. This book was a true eye opener of showing who the true Alexis is and how she persevered through all the trauma throughout her life. Excellent book.

Hearing Alexis’s account of her “involvement” in the bling ring was truly eye opening it was and how the police simply wanted to point fingers on her when she was just a sick kid high on drugs. But I think if it wasn’t for her arrest I think she wouldn’t be alive today.

[Liz Moreno · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recovering From Reality is one of the best memoirs I’ve read from my generation and Alexis story is one full of courage, vulnerability, rawness and one powerful message. I remember watching Pretty Wild while still being a teenager at school and followed a bit of her life throughout the years, but never ever could I imagined how much tribulations she had experienced in her life since so little. I really loved and enjoyed how gracefully this book was written, it felt so genuine and intense at times, but left me with so much insight and self realizations. I finished reading it in one day. I recommend following her podcast too. Alexis Haines is such a warrior and an inspiration -her story is both fascinating and impressive, and I have nothing but respect for her and what she does.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I throughly enjoyed this book. After reading the reviews here I was skeptical, but it really seems like people have a weird vendetta against Alexis for some reason. I am so grateful that she has shared her experience via a book. And given the fact that she wrote the book herself, I think it is well done. Many celebrities don't write their own books. After being a long time listener of the podcast, and a fan of Pretty Wild her story has helped me in so many ways the biggest being not letting my family bully me around anymore. I had so many huge take aways in this book and Alexis is a prime example of owning your chaos and finding the glory in your personal pain. I'm glad I had the time to read this while stuck at home.

[Samantha (Millennial Life Crisis Bookshelf) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book and the insight it provided! I enjoyed hearing about her life experiences especially after the portrayal we saw from the media and Pretty Wild. I also really loved what information she provided on addiction and recovery and how a different model worked for her rather than the typical route of modern medicine. I was a fan of Alexis before and have continued to be a fan even after the book!
I voluntarily read and reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book.

[V · Rating 4 out of 5]

I watched Pretty Wild years ago and the Bling Ring documentary on Netflix a few weeks ago. In the documentary, she did not seem genuine or taking accountability for her actions. In her book, there was inconsistencies that did not align with her interview which was frustrating. For example, in the documentary she said she did not know who Nick was but in her book she did. But I’m still glad I read the book. I’m glad to see how much she has changed compared to her younger self.

[Erin Crutchman · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who watched the show Pretty Wild I have always found Alexis fascinating! This book shed light on her life during that time, what lead her there, and how she got out. This book provides wonderful insight into the life of someone with childhood trauma. This book shows the strength in healing and moving on! I highly recommend this book!

[Phillip · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember following Alexis when Pretty Wild was on TV. The whole Bling Ring thing was so fascinating to me and I don’t know why. When I found out she wrote a book, I was all in! I liked the honesty, but sometimes I felt she blamed Tess for too much. Overall, the book was still good and I appreciate her for being able to share those dark and haunting parts of her life.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up watching Alexis on “pretty wild” thinking the shit that was TV was just for TV. Never realized what was actually happening behind the scenes. Great story about how she over addiction and how she still struggles with the past, today.

[Stella Fantasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought it would be juicier.

I commend Alexis (and Tess) for getting sober against all odds, and wish them the best. What disappointed me about this was sometimes it read more like a self-help than a memoir. She uses a lot of psychology buzzwords, and she has a tendency to blame others for her failings rather than take accountability, which I was hoping to see more of.

Having said that, she HAS grown and healed immensely; I love that she can finally laugh at the “NaNcY Jo, tHiS iS aLeXiS nEiErS CaLLiNg !” because that is a classic pop culture moment, for better or worse. She frequently admits that healing and forgiveness are hard and painful, which, when you’re on the healing journey, you can’t be reminded of enough. It’s only through pain that we can grow.

I think she has the patience of a saint for putting up with Andrea for all those years, and continuing to do so. What worries me is, she’s now divorced, and I felt strongly like she replaced drugs with her husband (they started dating when she had only a year of sobriety under her presumably-designer belt). Hopefully the kids are enough to keep her sober. May Alexis and Tess enjoy many more years of sobriety, and break the generational trauma with their own girls.

And so it is!

[Al verte entre líneas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of Emma Watson and I truly believe “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” and “The Bling Ring” have defined her career after the Harry Potter era. I loved Nicki Moore role and how great Emma was performing it in the movie. But then I was aware that “The Bling Ring” was real and, obviously, wanted to know more about this gang.
Time went by (so fast) and suddenly I started to watch “Pretty Wild” on Hayu (this reality show is so great and bizarre at the same time 😂) and also the Netflix documentary series about the robs. I hated Nick Prugo (he is still trying to get the spotlight he thinks he deserves) and I detected truth in Alexis Neiers words. That is the reason why I decided to start “Recovering From Reality”.
Honestly, I’m impressed. As a reader, you get a full perspective of her life journey and sometimes it’s hard to swallow. At the end of the day, I’m glad that Alexis is out of the ashes trying to be her best version day by day and capable to share her story with us. And so it is. 💕

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I watched the documentary first. Learned about the book after doing research about the documentary. This is a first person perspective from one of the young ladies who participated in the crime. The story unfolds, prior to the crime, with her living in a dysfunctional environment, with adults that lacked the ability to be good roll models. After the crime, she worked very hard to change her life and now spends her days working with others who also grew up in less than ideal situations. The trauma that can mold a child has impacts that last a lifetime, and watching her navigate her hidden shadows was enlightening. A dislike the term "self help", but I will say that if you have had addiction or childhood trauma in your lifetime, you might come across some words of wisdom that may help you navigate your journey. Note, this absolutely does not read as a "self help" book. Just a great biography from a talented author who had an intriguing story to tell. I would read anything else she wrote.

[Bethany Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I've been able to read of this book is inspiring as Alexis has been through a lot of disruption and trauma and came through it being able to use her experience to help others. I don't buy from Amazon so could only read the first couple of chapters, but I've been listening to her podcast and she seems honest and genuinely a nice person. Some reviews say she throws people under the bus and I can't say whether I agree because I haven't read the whole book, but I can see how her upbringing would make judging others difficult. I think her goals were tainted by her childhood and adolescence and can see how she became an addict and found solace in designer clothes and the idea of fame. I hope she carries on this positive path and continues to use her platform to help others and herself. God bless 💜

[Sherry Lynn Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

A hot mess

I knew nothing of this author before reading this book. I haven't seen the movie or her shows. I found it to be disappointing. I wish she had spoken like a lady instead of using the F word every other breath and other expletives. As a Christian I'm also not convinced of her belief in God as in Jesus Christ. Maybe a little g god. You can't belong to Christ and follow Buddha too. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. I just feel like she's still a hot mess with a lot of issues to work out. I know, we all have them. But I didn't write a book claiming to have solved them either.

[Abbey Mccann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book from the beautiful Alexis! Would highly recommend, finally she can say her truth and recover from her reality ! She deserves all the recognition for this book, people really do deserve second chances in this world as we can become products of our past and it’s so lovely reading about her journey In life and how she overcame her struggles ! I read this in less than a week and couldn’t put it down!
Thank you for this book and proving to the world that you can overcome anything if you put your mind to it !
And so it is ....
Also listen to her podcast it’s one of my favourites ! X

[Karissa Melendez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED THIS BOOK FINISHED IT IN TWO DAYS. If you were a fan of the show Pretty Wild when it was on E! You will absolutely adore this book! It gives you the juicy details about Tess and Alexis while on the show and the drug benders they did, or when the crew flushed their drugs down the toilet in Mexico. This book also give some pretty wild party details. It’s a must read about recovery and how successful they have become even against the odds both of them had stacked against them. 5 stars !!!!!! Must read!

[Kaylee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alexis' story is not only very inspirational but relatable and raw. I have always found her life fascinating with Pretty Wild, but upon finding her podcast and now book, I have a completely new understanding about her life and respect for her strength. I view this book as a glimmer of hope because many lines throughout the book spoke to me and it was really hard to put down. I finished it in a day and overall really really enjoyed it.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comeback Kid

What a comeback story!!! I followed Alexis starting on her reality show and I have to say she sounds so grown up and self aware. She didn't just go thru the motions of rehab she really did the work and held herself accountable for her actions. It was a great read. And so happy she got a happy ending. She really is a great writer

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so inspirational. I truly loved how real and raw this story is. So many of us need to find our healing journey and Alexis told hers beautifully. It inspired me to want to make the changes in my life so that I can start my own healing journey. Thank you for being strong enough to open up to your readers. We need more people like you in this world.

[Cassie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reading about Alexis’s life was interesting after watching pretty wild way back and seeing her transformation. The writing was kind of all over the place and I feel like it wasn’t edited that well. It was very preachy and cliche throughout most of the book- not her personal experiences, just her advice of how she got through them. I’ll still listen to her podcast but the book was subpar.

[Emily Diepenbrock · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took a lot of courage and personal turmoil for Alexis to write this. I have been following her over her career, so there wasn’t much in the book that she hasn’t already discussed, but it’s a good read. I think Alexis’s story and turnaround is so inspiring.

[Jassi Ci · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conoscevo già la sua storia, ed ero curiosa di vedere come l’aveva narrata. Il libro parla di una ragazza che fa errori si ritrova in situazioni e poi riesce finalmente a combattere per stare meglio. Un libro scritto con sincerità è una piacevole lettura

[Matt Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend!

Loved this book and could not put it down. There’s so much more to Alexis’ story beyond the Bling Ring.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like nonfiction books, but for whatever reason I didn't click with book, yet I got something out of it regardless.