Everybody (Else) Is Perfect: How I Survived Hypocrisy, Beauty, Clicks, and Likes

by Gabrielle Korn

From the former editor-in-chief of Nylon comes a provocative and intimate collection of personal and cultural essays featuring eye-opening explorations of hot button topics for modern women, including internet feminism, impossible beauty standards in social media, shifting ideals about sexuality, and much more.

Gabrielle Korn starts her professional life with all the right credentials. Prestigious college degree? Check. A loving, accepting family? Check. Instagram-worthy offices and a tight-knit group of friends? Check, check. Gabrielle’s life seems to reach the crescendo of perfect when she gets named the youngest editor-in-chief in the history of one of fashion’s most influential publication. Suddenly she’s invited to the world’s most epic parties, comped beautiful clothes and shoes from trendy designers, and asked to weigh in on everything from gay rights to lip gloss on one of the most influential digital platforms.

But behind the scenes, things are far from perfect. In fact, just a few months before landing her dream job, Gabrielle’s health and wellbeing are on the line, and her promotion to editor-in-chief becomes the ultimate test of strength. In this collection of inspirational and searing essays, Gabrielle reveals exactly what it’s truly like in the fashion world, trying to find love as a young lesbian in New York City, battling with anorexia, and trying not to lose herself in a mirage of women’s empowerment and Instagram perfection.

Through deeply personal essays, Gabrielle recounts her struggles to reconcile her long-held insecurities about her body while coming out in the era of The L Word, where swoon-worthy lesbians are portrayed as skinny, fashion-perfect, and power-hungry. She takes us with her everywhere from New York Fashion Week to the doctor’s office, revealing that the forces that try to keep women small are more pervasive than anyone wants to admit, especially in a world that’s been newly branded as woke.

From #MeToo to commercialized body positivity, Korn’s biting, darkly funny analysis turns feminist commentary on its head. Both an in-your-face take on impossible beauty standards and entrenched media ideals and an inspiring call for personal authenticity, this powerful collection is ideal for fans of Roxane Gay and Rebecca Solnit.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Essays, LGBT, Feminism, Queer, Audiobook

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 26, 2021

Reviews

[Cindy Pham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is actually more of a 3 star read, but I’m bumping it up to 4 due to personal bias and just cuz I feel like it.

Things I liked:
- Discussions about the cult of empowerment and commercialization of body positivity
- The disconnect between how brands talk about empowering women VS the actual culture within those companies
- The beauty industry capitalizing on diversity while remaining misogynistic, racist, fatphobic, etc.
- How women’s media and women-run businesses are still problematic under capitalism
- Her realizations towards the end of the book about how workaholism and constant productivity didn’t fulfill her well-being

Things that could use more work:
- Many of the points she made throughout the book get very repetitive without going further into those topics beyond a few anecdotes
- The book gets stuck in a crossroad between talking about the industry VS her personal struggles without diving deeper into either, which makes it overall surface-level
- She talks a lot about pushing for more diversity and representation while working at Nylon, but does not elaborate on what she did exactly to improve it. I’m glad she acknowledges racism and her privilege in the book, but would like to know what specific actions she took for better inclusion if she is going to be making claims about pushing for those things. I have no clue what she actually did to push that needle forward because there was a total lack of elaboration.

The second half of the book was stronger for me because as someone who works in advertising, her discussions about work culture and capitalism resonated with me. I think this book would be suited for those working in similar industries; otherwise, due to the limitations of how much she actually dives into these things, it might not hit as hard for most people.

I was also more interested in her observations from working in the industry rather than her personal life, and think the book would have fared better as a nonfiction book that critiques the industry rather than a memoir, since her examinations of her struggles weren’t quite deep or unique enough to subsist a book.

[Katie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a fascinating collection of essays written by the former editor-in-chief of Nylon, a lifestyle magazine known for its focus on pop culture and fashion. A highly respected gig as Gabrielle Korn was responsible for shaping the magazine's content. Invites to every industry related party, and free access to clothing from all the hottest designers are other pretty cool perks of the job. She was living the dream! Except we all know things are never as they seem. These essays are raw, honest, and powerful and make for a thought-provoking read.

There are so many subjects explored in her writing and each reader has the potential to take away something different. I personally was drawn more to her stories of working in the publishing industry rather than her personal life although they were all good reads. It kinda is mindboggling that so many publications attempt to promote body positivity but yet frequently miss the mark. And it's sad although not too surprising that most female industry professionals still strive for that size 2 body.

A must read if you enjoy reading nonfiction that explores the topic of feminism and many other worthwhile subjects.

Thank you to Atria Books for providing me with an advance copy! All thoughts expressed are my honest opinion.

[Sheena · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir discusses many important aspects of what women and others in our society go through. Homophobia, sexism, racism, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and mental health. I believe these topics are extremely important especially in this day and age. I did enjoy this but there was something I found lacking that kept me from connecting with the author. This was however a very quick read, I finished it in a few hours.
Thank you Netgalley for this advanced copy!

[Phoebe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel bad leaving a two-star review without context, so I'll say my main issue with this book was it's repetitiveness. It felt like reading the same two essays over and over again; it could have easily been one (1) internet Long Read. I don't want to hold that against Gabrielle Korn, I've followed her for years on Instagram and she seems like a cool, nice person with a cute wife and dog, so I guess instead I'll hold it against whoever edited the book. At one point Korn actually acknowledges she wrote it mainly on the subway while commuting, which 1) I can believe and 2) felt like a weird admission of half-assing it?

[casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75

overall i enjoyed this, having experienced a similar work environment in the past i could really relate to a lot of what gabrielle talked about concerning her early career. one part of the story that i felt was the most profound and honestly was something i wished she spent more time on was talking about her relationship with career status/success and how it played a role in her identity/how she perceived herself especially given her age. she has some really insightful thoughts on it that she puts so beautifully especially towards the end of the book that really made me wish she had talked more about it. to have that much success under you belt at 30 and not be absolutely wracked with anxiety over what you’re doing next is crazy, those last two paragraphs agh!! i wish we could have heard more about how she got to that point of having such a hopeful take on that degree of change/uncertainty and seperating herself from her success

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

At 64, I'm not sure I'm the target audience for this book, but as someone who has strived (and failed numerous times) for perfection through body image, relationships, and career goals, maybe I am. Gabrielle Korn's words resonated with me.

As I read, I highlighted phrases and while there were a lot, the following sentence spoke to me the most: "I grieved for the years of my life I'd spent not speaking up for myself, years I'd never get the chance to do over." Sadly, I think a lot of women (and men) can relate to those words. When we don't speak up and move on, we lose.

Ms. Korn's writing is provocative, raw, and brutally honest, and Everybody (Else) Is Perfect is testimony to the fact that she has learned to move on and that our best support network is the one within ourselves.

*Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for this ARC (Advance Reader's Copy) in exchange for my honest review.

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure if this type of memoir is even possible to write without a lot of humble bragging about the author's various successes, and it makes for a slightly cringe-y reading experience. I did want to like this based on the blurb, and she had some interesting perspectives, but overall I found it a bit surface level and repetitive and didn't think any of her takes were really THAT insightful or unique. Like.. the fact that the beauty industry is misogynistic and racist and fatphobic doesn't particularly surprise me. I feel like I've read about all these issues, many times over. I'm happy that she tried to make changes but at the same time, I'm not sure if that industry is redeemable in its current form. Personally, I don't have a lot of interest in fashion, so it seems really hard to reconcile how fucked the industry is with.. "I like pretty clothes and makeup." Like there's this sense that she's trying to justify complicity by claiming that fashion is so important, and I'm kind of skeptical about that. But, I'm also very anti-consumerism, so I'm biased, too! Also, I do empathize with her struggles, but it's a bit harder when the struggles seem to be interspersed with self congratulations, almost to like.. soften them? Like "I accomplished this and this and this and this and it all seemed so perfect but secretly I had an eating disorder and a bad relationship and it was hard." I'm sure it WAS hard, like we all have struggles and I'm not discounting that, but I'm not sure if her struggles were enough to fill a whole book. Or at least, I think her examinations of her struggles never dove deep enough. I think other people who have more interest in the New York fashion world with a queer bent will appreciate this more than I did.

[Genevieve Trono · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the books that I initially picked up almost entirely because of the amazing title. I mean, who hasn't felt this way before?! It doesn't matter what stage of life you are in...it is quite easy to fall into the trap of feeling less than and thinking everyone else has a better understanding of how to do it all. Now imaging navigating this feeling while working in women's media..in the beauty department.

Shared through essay format, Everbody (Else) is Perfect takes us through Gabrielle Korn's experience as a white, Jewish lesbian in her 20s, working in women's digital media. From imposter syndrome to body dysmorphia to the mixed messages society sends us daily, this was just such a timely and important read. Her perspective was refreshing, and the insider look at the beauty and fashion media empire was fascinating and illuminating. The underbelly of the media that touts self-love also shares a whole other level of hypocrisy and Korn showed up.

While the focus on the beauty and fashion industry was a large part of these essays, Korn also shared candidly about many other important topics, including sexuality, feminism, mental health, racism, eating disorders/body dysmorphia, and misogyny. Like many essay collections, some of them were 5-star reads for me while others were not quite as impactful but overall this was a very solid read that had the perfect mix of being totally readable while also being a powerful call for change.

Thank you to Atria Books for my advanced copy.

[Toni Kely-Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was just OK - maybe because I'm Australian and don't know who the author is or the magazine "Nylon". I wanted to read it because I was interested in her inside view of the fashion and media industry. After finishing it, I realised I wanted more discussion about the problems within an industry that really only sells a dream - the commercialisation of body positivity (honestly I hate it!), how magazines and the fashion industry say they empower women and now are trying to reflect society and be more diverse. Instead, its all dis-genuine and capitalism still rules the school as inside the industry it's still about the impossible beauty standards of the thin, white, young woman (and its is rife with eating disorders, body dis-morphia, etc.)

However, for a small book and a quick read it is VERY repetitive and really only skims the surface and the author focuses alot on her personal struggles. I liked her insights into America's (or Western cultures) obsession with money, consumerism and productivity until you burn out but maybe she should have written two books? One a memoir about her personal struggles and the other a non-fiction book about working in the fashion and magazine industry. That's the book I wanted to read.

[Jill Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

The essays in here were interesting, although I must confess that about halfway through they started to feel very repetitive to me. Her perspective on her professional challenges was interesting, as were the memoir/self-reflection aspects of the stories she told, but the repetitive nature did make even the interesting bits less interesting over time. Perhaps this is exacerbated by the fact that I did not know what Nylon was and had never heard of Gabrielle Korn. I'm not much for fashion or lifestyle and trend magazines, online or otherwise, so I'm probably not the ideal audience for this and that may explain why I had a difficult time staying interested in the latter parts of the book. Still, her struggles as a young woman in a field that is very competitive and male-dominated at the highest levels, exacerbated by the emphasis on thinness and control, did make for interesting reading...

[Nora Gomperts · Rating 1 out of 5]

i really wanted to / thought i would like this book, especially as a queer woman who lives in the same neighborhood the author does, but i... really didn’t. i found it / the author self-aggrandizing, aloof, and very limited in her understanding or acknowledgement of systemic racism and oppression. she talks a lot about diversity and representation (and gives herself a lot of credit for improvements on those fronts) but never really gets to inclusion or equity. i feel bad writing this but was also borderline offended by her lack of awareness and/or acknowledgment of the role that whiteness has played in her life and success.

[Mhughessc · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gabrielle Korn, the former editor of Nylon magazine, has written this collection of essays about a variety of topics: self esteem, self discovery, making your way up the corporate ladder, etc. While I felt that the author had some good perspective, I didn't feel connected to her personally and I didn't feel that there was anything in this book that I hadn't read before.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Radha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fairly disorganized in its structure, often quick to judge (e.g., thin, ergo, eating disorder), with a fair bit of mixed messaging thrown in - "all body types should be celebrated but let us celebrate better the ones that are truly Glossier-like"
However, the book was on point in calling out the hypocricy in feminist marketing by some brands.

[Prescilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt like a magazine interview with a famous person. The only difference was that it wasn't a famous person but a random lady I couldn't care less about. Very disappointing.
This book was provided to me for free from the publisher in exchange of an honest review.

[Jolanta (knygupė) · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5*

[meri · Rating 3 out of 5]

i kind of really liked this, it’s great to read of young queer women rising to positions of power. however, the subtitle of the book, ”how i survived…” was not really fullfilled as korn survived her hectic work at nylon by anorexia and eventually quitting. so i’m not quite sure these are the means of survival. however, discussing cult of empowerment, the ins and outs of fashion and beauty industry this was a good book.

[Ethan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So this is my first review which is exciting! Was this book perfect? No, it could have gone deeper into the issues at hand and was a little repetitive at times. That being said, the way Gabrielle Korn writes is absolutely amazing. She talks to you and not at you. She is the feminist older sister I never had.

[Madison Shields · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

Pretty interesting read! I felt that some of the chapters/essays were stronger than others which made for a bit of a disconnected feeling, but it was an easy entry into feminist thought.

[Maude Carrier-Pion · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not the type of book that I normally read. However, it was a good one.

[Maxime Hons · Rating 3 out of 5]

was the author correct about a lot of things she said? yes. did i agree with everything? no. did i stumble upon any groundbreaking facts about the beauty industry or how hard it is for queer woman in the business industry? no. but i did find her writing style interesting enough to continue reading and i’m glad she quit and put herself first in the end. i was expecting more from this book tho, however this is what happens with most autobiographies i read so i’m not surprised.

[SarahReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everybody (else) is perfect seemed like a compelling book. A memoir that looks at at so many womens and queer issues as well as eating disorders and navigating success at a young age. Although well written, the book quickly felt repetitious - at times it felt like she was beating a dead horse in writing about some of the book's themes. At 38 I am probably outside the target age group for this book, but I found Korn harder to relate too as the book continued. This book is probably better suited to the 18-30 age range, perhaps younger people will better connect with the author.

2.5 Stars rounded up to 3.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advanced copy of this book.

[Ilana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved everything about this book, from the approachable writing to the complicated topics and approaches to things like social messaging, capitalism, gender, and eating disorders. Gabrielle is such a vital voice on these topics, and so nuanced that I found myself nodding along constantly. Add to that the way she writes to invite people in rather than shut them out, and you have a wonderful essay collection that's essential reading during our time when corporations co-opt the slogans of social justice movements and we are made to feel like we can girlboss our way out of climate change.

[Lisa Konet · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was ok but not as good as I thought it was going to be. Some of the essays I felt were good but some were just lacking. I felt this was not on par as some of the other memoirs I have read this year. Liked the cover and overall idea but it was mediocre at best. Cannot recommend.

Thanks to Netgalley, Gabrielle Korn and Atria Books for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Already available: 1/26/21

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

i think gabrielle korn is so, so cool but i only sort of liked this — it reads pretty repetitive. i’m also VERY far from a Career Woman so maybe i’m not quite the demographic: i wanted more stories about her misspent queer youth lmao

[emma renee]

Reading this book was like a breath of fresh air. I rarely pick up personal essay non-fiction as the experiences detailed don't typically feel relatable, but that was not the case here. Examining the intersection between being a woman, a lesbian, and a person struggling with body image, the author also highlights the way these things impacted her career in fashion and media. As someone who identifies with these topics and also creates content on the internet, these stories resonated and I'm very glad I was able to read them.

The book is not without its flaws. It was a quick and easy read, but certainly could have been longer in order to further expand on the changes the author would allude to making in her workplaces. I also can understand why some reviewers found the stories to be repetitive or platitudinal, but I personally did not feel that way.

If you read this book, definitely be aware of the triggering topics including disordered eating and SA, among other things. I would look up trigger warnings if you are sensitive to those.

All in all, I did really enjoy my time with this book, and am glad I picked it up. I finished in under 24 hours and I would recommend, especially for fans of queer/feminist non-fiction. Thank you so much to Atria for sending me the book!!

[Samantha (my_read_feed) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everybody (Else) Is Perfect is a beautifully written memoir by a firecly intelligent + wonderfully honest feminist. Gabrielle Korn, the Former EIC of Nylon, discusses her career path, her push for diversity, anti-racism, queer representation and size inclusivity, and some of her own thoughts on what it means to be a feminist.
⠀⠀
Throughout the book Korn also discusses her own battle with anorexia. She also weaves her battle into the story, explaining how even the most feminist-forward and size-inclusive women oftentimes forget to view themselves in the same light—countless women championing size diversity in the media look at themselves in the mirror and berate their own love handles.
⠀⠀
I really don’t have anything bad to say about this book. It’s clear from her writing how much Korn cares about the issues she discusses, and she discusses them with such eloquence and passion. I highly recommend this book!

**I was gifted this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and feelings expressed above are my own.**

[Lexi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gabrielle Korn delivers nothing but honesty and humility in her new memoir Everybody (Else) Is Perfect through various essays with interconnecting themes. Readers get an inside look at the world of beauty and fashion journalism through the eyes of the intelligent and accomplished author. Korn spent her 20s developing an identity within her sexuality, maneuvering through various romantic interests (some of which being extremely toxic), and regaining herself through a battle with an eating disorder. Meanwhile, Korn rocketed through the ranks at an independent fashion, entertainment, and music magazine, Nylon, until she became the editor-in-chief at the spritely young age of 28. However, Korn delves into how her fancy new title came with new, nearly insurmountable, responsibilities.

The best word to sum up the book (even though summarizing a book in one word is a terrible idea) is: important. Korn's ability to call out the beauty/fashion industry's hypocrisy for touting self-love and empowerment without improving the environment within their own offices is refreshing. People on the outside of the industry can be easily fooled into believing they're alone in their struggle to find a place of self acceptance when they're constantly bombarded with magazines and influencers telling them to drop all of your insecurities this second, and if you can't then you're just not trying hard enough. Additionally, Korn's honesty in how this industry dynamic affected her own experience with an eating disorder is exactly the kind of rhetoric the industry needs to produce more of to offset the insecurities they help create.

Everybody (Else) Is Perfect won't be for everyone. Despite Korn's evident writing talent, any reader who has no interest in journalism, specifically beauty and fashion journalism, might find they have trouble keeping an interest in this book. Since the book is a collection of essays, there are some essays that stand out and others that feel like they were used to puff up the book. This proved the book difficult to rate. While there are several 5-star essays, the inclusion of a couple 2 or 3-star essays averages the book out to a solid 4-star read.

At times, there was a little too much description of what people were wearing or what bag someone was holding. Of course, these are the kinds of details expected from a writer whose background is in beauty and fashion, so perhaps the reader should do their best to forgive Korn for these instances. The struggle with any book with a theme as strong as this one, is how it can start to seem repetitive after a while. Korn did her best in trying to bring certain points up in different ways, but it wasn't always possible to avoid. Due to the structure of the book, there are several essays in a row that are extremely similar and could cause many readers to give up before reaching the essays later in the book with novel themes. Readers who find themselves discouraged should try to skip around within the book and consider reading the essays out of order.

[Lex · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When people complain about something they don’t like about themselves and it’s something I also have but never really paid attention to or felt bad about, suddenly I wonder if I should feel bad about it. Then I fixate on it and berate myself for not noticing and worry about how people saw me.”

So many excerpts from this book are so relatable but this one takes the cake.

As someone who is currently working in the fitness field, where you are glorify and praised for being skinny or lean, it's hard to have the "I love my body, no matter what size I am" mentality because of the constant nagging and unsolicited advices I get from my boss and also my colleagues. It was detrimental to my mental health because it turned me into a person who would constantly ask people if my body looks bloated and then would limit the food I eat because I don't wanna get 'big'. I hate how people just could not shut their mouth even you continuously tell them that you are happy, the way you are. It sucks that you always have to conform to society's ideal physique when we all have different bodies & preferences.

[Juan Calvo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es una recopilación de ensayos de Gabrielle Korn.
Se habla de feminismo, la industria de la moda, el movimiento de body positivity, como algunas marcas se muestran como inclusivas solo como una estrategia de marketing, crecer siendo queer en un ambiente religioso, adicción al trabajo, racismo, homofobia, etc.

Lo recomendaría para cualquiera interesadx en la industria de la moda o que trabaje en marketing/publicidad y que esté dispuestx a leer una gran crítica social a la manera como vivimos a través de una pantalla en la actualidad.

Algunos trigger warnings: Trastornos alimenticios & Abuso sexual.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not sure how this random book ended up on my radar but I’m glad it did! Gabrielle is notable for being the youngest ever editor in chief of Nylon. She’s also a lesbian, breaking into spaces that had no queer people. Her story was quite interesting to follow. She focuses a lot on her personal challenges such as anorexia and being trapped in loveless relationship. She also talks a lot about beauty standards and I thought her stance was a good one to navigate from. I felt like her pop culture references were super relevant to me and ended up confirming we are born eight days apart so that makes sense!