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Thieves' Lyric #1
River of Thieves
We were the worst kind of people. For the best reasons.
After a robbery gone horribly wrong, cursed thief Cord broadens his horizons and plans to execute the heist of a lifetime. With fellow thief and knife connoisseur Nenn in tow, the two build their ragtag crew to target the heart of the kingdom - Midian, the seat of tyrant King Anaxos Mane. As treachery, horrifying creatures of nightmare, and opposition bar their path at every turn, the gang must depend on skill - intellectual, martial, and magical - to deliver them an endless summer and keep them free from the clutches of evil despotism. If they don't sh*t the bed first.
After a robbery gone horribly wrong, cursed thief Cord broadens his horizons and plans to execute the heist of a lifetime. With fellow thief and knife connoisseur Nenn in tow, the two build their ragtag crew to target the heart of the kingdom - Midian, the seat of tyrant King Anaxos Mane. As treachery, horrifying creatures of nightmare, and opposition bar their path at every turn, the gang must depend on skill - intellectual, martial, and magical - to deliver them an endless summer and keep them free from the clutches of evil despotism. If they don't sh*t the bed first.
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First published April 19, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
August 4, 2024
River of Thieves is a brutally entertaining grimdark fantasy by Clayton W. Snyder about a group of thieves who try to pull off the ultimate heist.
Sound familiar? Yes, there is definitely a lot in common between River of Thieves and Scott Lynch's masterpiece, The Lies of Locke Lamora.
After reading The Lies of Locke Lamora, I was left thirsty for more in this subgenre of grimdark fantasy. Unfortunately, Scott Lynch's two sequels were a let-down, at least for me. Neither of them captured the joyful feeling of reading The Lies of Locke Lamora.
Clayton W. Snyder's River of Thieves helps to fill that void. It's not quite at the same level as The Lies of Locke Lamora, but it's still a hugely entertaining read. If you start with The Lies of Locke Lamora and somehow make it funnier and even more profane, then that should give you a good idea of what River of Thieves is like. The character work is not at the same level as The Lies of Locke Lamora, but it's still really good.
There are a lot of inside jokes here, which I enjoyed, including a bunch of references to fellow author Dyrk Ashton.
Bottom line: If you loved The Lies of Locke Lamora and want to read more in that vein, be sure to check out River of Thieves. Highly recommended for grimdark fans who enjoy a big dose of humor to help offset the savagery.
Sound familiar? Yes, there is definitely a lot in common between River of Thieves and Scott Lynch's masterpiece, The Lies of Locke Lamora.
After reading The Lies of Locke Lamora, I was left thirsty for more in this subgenre of grimdark fantasy. Unfortunately, Scott Lynch's two sequels were a let-down, at least for me. Neither of them captured the joyful feeling of reading The Lies of Locke Lamora.
Clayton W. Snyder's River of Thieves helps to fill that void. It's not quite at the same level as The Lies of Locke Lamora, but it's still a hugely entertaining read. If you start with The Lies of Locke Lamora and somehow make it funnier and even more profane, then that should give you a good idea of what River of Thieves is like. The character work is not at the same level as The Lies of Locke Lamora, but it's still really good.
There are a lot of inside jokes here, which I enjoyed, including a bunch of references to fellow author Dyrk Ashton.
Bottom line: If you loved The Lies of Locke Lamora and want to read more in that vein, be sure to check out River of Thieves. Highly recommended for grimdark fans who enjoy a big dose of humor to help offset the savagery.
April 21, 2019
What a blast! This book is insanely good, insanely funny, and insane. Think The Lies of Locke Lamora meets Discworld (a Lynch/Pratchett love-baby, if you will), with a sense of both Kings of the Wyld and Orconomics, and occasionally a touch of darkness and horror ala Michael R. Fletcher's incredible Beyond Redemption. I know, I know, as I said, insane - but all in a good way. All in all, though, this is uniquely Clay Snyder through and through. I've read his Child of Nod and loved it, and with River of Thieves he's taken his wild ideas up a notch - maybe sideways several notches - or both. Snyder lets it all hang out, bars no holds, and delivers a truly unique and original dark-comedy-fantasy-farce, skewering social injustice, and a hell of a lot of fantasy tropes, in the process.
Concept and style aside, we have fantastic characters, snarky, violent, fun, on outrageous adventures to fill their pockets - but deep at heart, to right some wrongs along the way. We get to know them and love them and feel their pain and joy, even as they say and do the craziest things.
If you want something different, fun, and fast-paced, definitely check this out.
Concept and style aside, we have fantastic characters, snarky, violent, fun, on outrageous adventures to fill their pockets - but deep at heart, to right some wrongs along the way. We get to know them and love them and feel their pain and joy, even as they say and do the craziest things.
If you want something different, fun, and fast-paced, definitely check this out.
August 29, 2020
My rating 4.0
The fantasy book "River of Thieves" by Clayton Snyder, C.W. Snyder is a solid work with a dark story and quite a bit of dark humor. The world in which the is set is wacky and well described. The story itself is solid to me, although at times I was bothered by the morbidity of certain parts (especially when the story would deviate from the main story). The characters are well-characterized, and some readers might resent them for swearing quite a bit throughout the book. The story that follows the two thieves Cord and Neen is fun. The main character Cord a silly immortal weirdo and all the time gets his companion Neen in trouble because he is coming up with the craziest scenarios for robberies. This creates a Neen hill of problems because his ideas always getting complicated to the point of unconsciousness. All in all a fun book and fans of dark fantasy will surely like it.
The fantasy book "River of Thieves" by Clayton Snyder, C.W. Snyder is a solid work with a dark story and quite a bit of dark humor. The world in which the is set is wacky and well described. The story itself is solid to me, although at times I was bothered by the morbidity of certain parts (especially when the story would deviate from the main story). The characters are well-characterized, and some readers might resent them for swearing quite a bit throughout the book. The story that follows the two thieves Cord and Neen is fun. The main character Cord a silly immortal weirdo and all the time gets his companion Neen in trouble because he is coming up with the craziest scenarios for robberies. This creates a Neen hill of problems because his ideas always getting complicated to the point of unconsciousness. All in all a fun book and fans of dark fantasy will surely like it.
May 6, 2022
For my final #Grimdarkmasters read of April 2022 (the month where I dedicate most of my TBR to reading the works of four of the top Indie grimdark writers) I read "River of Thieves" (Thieves' Lyric Book One) by Clayton Snyder.
This book was a Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off SPFBO Semi-Finalist in 2019, and Snyder himself is one of the most decorated grimdark authors out there. He's a three-time SPFBO Semifinalist, an SPFBO 7 Finalist, a WSFA (World's Small Press) & 2-time Stabby Nominee, a Booknest Longlist & Grimmy Award Winner.
Still, even knowing what an illustrious writer Synder was, and having previously read some of his work, I was caught wholly unprepared for what I read in "River of Thieves". It was mind-boggling, and truly I struggled to write this review, because it's hard to review a book like this one. But I mean all this only in a good way.
The main plot is the simple part. It's about two thieves, Cord and Nenn. Larcenous funny-guy with a heart of gold underneath, Cord has a nasty habit of not staying dead after every heist, where invariably he gets into trouble and ends up, of course, being killed. These resurrections appear to be wearing more and more on him, as nastier creatures emerge from his mouth post-demise, and he's getting more tired of dealing with dying over and over again, period.
Nenn is Cord's deadly, knife-wielding, brooding, intense but witty and sharp-tongued companion who gets to narrate a large part of the tale first-person. She is, against her better judgement, always getting talked into going along with Cord's hair-brained ideas. But she too is worried about the affects constantly dying and coming back is having on her friend. So when Cord suggests one last big job (you know these always go horribly wrong) to set them up for retirement, Nenn - daydreaming of settling down with a nice woman or man one day, and living peacefully in a nice home, removed from thieving and mayhem - reluctantly goes along.
Collectively, this group loves to cuss, loves to hump regardless of gender or which side good or bad their bedding partner is on, loves to stab, and are fiercely loyal to one another. They rack up the body count, and leave a trail of havoc wherever they go, but their fearless approach to facing their own doom, laughing all the way, and the way they bind together like a very dysfunctional family is admirable, and will have the reader rooting for them.
Cord recruits two other sidekicks to join him and Nenn. One is a frenemy, a massive, hulking man named Rek, who can crush skulls with one hand, but happens to have a soft spot for kittens. The other is a beautiful, mysterious witch with some daunting powers named Lux who Nenn gets all hot and bothered about.
The foursome follow Cord's plan which looks like a suicide mission, to infiltrate the realm of King Anaxos Mane, a notorious tyrant, with lots of human and inhuman protection.
Sounds like a classic fantasy heist tale? Think again dear readers, nothing typical about this book.
Parts of the book had me dazed and confused, as we dive headlong into a world of magic-wielders, gods, spirits, undead, more. While the main plot and main point of view is very straightforward and linear, there are a few additional POVs thrown in later in the book that give some momentary vertigo, but once you get through them the reader will likely see how much more enriching the story becomes for them.
The characters are exceptional. It's not a big cast, and it allows the reader to really connect with the four main thieves. The relationships are filled with sarcasm, animosity, and derision layered on top of deep bonds of friendship, and it makes for a truly poignant and entertaining read. In particular, I loved the dynamic between Rek and Cord, even though the Cord-Nenn partnership is at the heart of the narrative.
The villains (that is the ones who are not the main characters) are quite nasty, and the Harrowers in particular are detestable. And I truly HATED Rook. The gods are capricious (which I love) and you can sense the humans are really just pawns in their schemes, despite the gods professing their affection for certain characters. The worldbuiding, exposition, and prose is sneakily fantastic. Snyder can really write well, and I had to go back and re-read some of his eloquent descriptions of landscapes and settings because I realized I was missing out on some great stuff that might have otherwise gotten lost in the black humour and action pieces. Synder's prose can be very beautiful, even lyrical, at times, and it is never dull, always ironic and sharp.
From Orlect, to Midian, to the open water, the settings were gloriously depicted, and felt real. Engines propelled by hearts that have been ripped out of chests, zombies, ghouls, and other macabre features of the book are really neat and inventive that will delight dark fantasy fans.
There are some truly gut-punching moments in the book, and please don't expect happy endings here. Though the conclusion is somewhat definitive, and are more installments, don't expect a pleasing and neatly-wrapped up resolution to this book. As a matter of fact expect to have your heart broken a few times, and for some things to be left rather ambiguous.
In saying all this, the book was funny as hell. If there's one thing that the reader will quickly find out about Snyder is that he has a wicked sense of humour, and can really bring the satire.
In this book, the complete paragraphs of banter are just as good as the quick and deadly one-liners. We as readers get to indulge in that little juvenile that lurks within all of us that says "you just have to laugh at this because it is freaking funny" warring with the adult that is saying "you shouldn't be laughing at this, it's juvenile" (stifles a laugh) and the juvenile always wins. But there is a LOT more than adolescent humour going on here - most of the humour is very adult, dark, and viciously, outrageously hilarious. I had to stop reading several times because I was howling, laughing nearly to tears, or just appalled at myself at the fact that I was laughing in the first place.
There is an abundance of pop culture references, innuendo about current world politics, and even nods to famous books and authors such as Scott Lynch's Gentleman Bastards series. None of it felt out of place, and only enhanced my reading experience, and that is a credit to Synder in the way it was done, because usually this sort of stuff I find somewhat distracting in a fantasy book. But that's my particular taste issue, not anything an author does wrong by going there.
Synder tackles some compelling themes in the book, including religion, and apathy towards it, as seen through Nenn's disdain:
"I'm not much for religion, never really was. It's hard to believe in any deity that says 'This is your life. You can't improve it, but if you worship me, I can make it not worse. That's not patronage, it's blackmail. It's a protection racket. I'd seen a million of them, growing up in the streets and the alleys. I could respect the hustle, but not the sentiment."
I need to pay homage here to the tale within a tale in the book (a feature I adore in fantasy), the story of the Goblin King. This was phenomenal: I recommend the reader slow down and pay attention to this one when it appears.
I cannot conclude a review of this book without mentioning some of the chapter titles. These days one rarely finds chapter titles anymore in books, however...here are some of them in "River of Thieves": Bandit Lettuce Tomato, This Asshole Again, That's a Filthy Joke You Dickhead, Storytime for Wayward Rogues, Party Crashing and Insurrection for Fun and Profit, Pirates are Just Thieves with More Syphilis and perhaps my favourite - Cat Shit and Violence. Do I need to say more?
Finally, to state the obvious, this book is truly dark. Don't read it if you are not ready for that. I found Qoth's tale interspersed throughout the narrative was particularly bleak and gruesome, but as noted above, very valuable into learning more about the overall story and character motivations. Like most grimdark books - and remember I consider Snyder a grimdark master - prepare to be surprised, horrified, creeped out, and be given lots to ponder after you finish the book.
Crude, rude, funny as hell, gory, bizarre, ultimately brilliant, "River of Thieves" goes into my consideration for my top books I read so far in 2022, and the twisted genius that is Clayton Synder has not disappointed me yet. I plan to read everything this very talented writer writes.
This book was a Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off SPFBO Semi-Finalist in 2019, and Snyder himself is one of the most decorated grimdark authors out there. He's a three-time SPFBO Semifinalist, an SPFBO 7 Finalist, a WSFA (World's Small Press) & 2-time Stabby Nominee, a Booknest Longlist & Grimmy Award Winner.
Still, even knowing what an illustrious writer Synder was, and having previously read some of his work, I was caught wholly unprepared for what I read in "River of Thieves". It was mind-boggling, and truly I struggled to write this review, because it's hard to review a book like this one. But I mean all this only in a good way.
The main plot is the simple part. It's about two thieves, Cord and Nenn. Larcenous funny-guy with a heart of gold underneath, Cord has a nasty habit of not staying dead after every heist, where invariably he gets into trouble and ends up, of course, being killed. These resurrections appear to be wearing more and more on him, as nastier creatures emerge from his mouth post-demise, and he's getting more tired of dealing with dying over and over again, period.
Nenn is Cord's deadly, knife-wielding, brooding, intense but witty and sharp-tongued companion who gets to narrate a large part of the tale first-person. She is, against her better judgement, always getting talked into going along with Cord's hair-brained ideas. But she too is worried about the affects constantly dying and coming back is having on her friend. So when Cord suggests one last big job (you know these always go horribly wrong) to set them up for retirement, Nenn - daydreaming of settling down with a nice woman or man one day, and living peacefully in a nice home, removed from thieving and mayhem - reluctantly goes along.
Collectively, this group loves to cuss, loves to hump regardless of gender or which side good or bad their bedding partner is on, loves to stab, and are fiercely loyal to one another. They rack up the body count, and leave a trail of havoc wherever they go, but their fearless approach to facing their own doom, laughing all the way, and the way they bind together like a very dysfunctional family is admirable, and will have the reader rooting for them.
Cord recruits two other sidekicks to join him and Nenn. One is a frenemy, a massive, hulking man named Rek, who can crush skulls with one hand, but happens to have a soft spot for kittens. The other is a beautiful, mysterious witch with some daunting powers named Lux who Nenn gets all hot and bothered about.
The foursome follow Cord's plan which looks like a suicide mission, to infiltrate the realm of King Anaxos Mane, a notorious tyrant, with lots of human and inhuman protection.
Sounds like a classic fantasy heist tale? Think again dear readers, nothing typical about this book.
Parts of the book had me dazed and confused, as we dive headlong into a world of magic-wielders, gods, spirits, undead, more. While the main plot and main point of view is very straightforward and linear, there are a few additional POVs thrown in later in the book that give some momentary vertigo, but once you get through them the reader will likely see how much more enriching the story becomes for them.
The characters are exceptional. It's not a big cast, and it allows the reader to really connect with the four main thieves. The relationships are filled with sarcasm, animosity, and derision layered on top of deep bonds of friendship, and it makes for a truly poignant and entertaining read. In particular, I loved the dynamic between Rek and Cord, even though the Cord-Nenn partnership is at the heart of the narrative.
The villains (that is the ones who are not the main characters) are quite nasty, and the Harrowers in particular are detestable. And I truly HATED Rook. The gods are capricious (which I love) and you can sense the humans are really just pawns in their schemes, despite the gods professing their affection for certain characters. The worldbuiding, exposition, and prose is sneakily fantastic. Snyder can really write well, and I had to go back and re-read some of his eloquent descriptions of landscapes and settings because I realized I was missing out on some great stuff that might have otherwise gotten lost in the black humour and action pieces. Synder's prose can be very beautiful, even lyrical, at times, and it is never dull, always ironic and sharp.
From Orlect, to Midian, to the open water, the settings were gloriously depicted, and felt real. Engines propelled by hearts that have been ripped out of chests, zombies, ghouls, and other macabre features of the book are really neat and inventive that will delight dark fantasy fans.
There are some truly gut-punching moments in the book, and please don't expect happy endings here. Though the conclusion is somewhat definitive, and are more installments, don't expect a pleasing and neatly-wrapped up resolution to this book. As a matter of fact expect to have your heart broken a few times, and for some things to be left rather ambiguous.
In saying all this, the book was funny as hell. If there's one thing that the reader will quickly find out about Snyder is that he has a wicked sense of humour, and can really bring the satire.
In this book, the complete paragraphs of banter are just as good as the quick and deadly one-liners. We as readers get to indulge in that little juvenile that lurks within all of us that says "you just have to laugh at this because it is freaking funny" warring with the adult that is saying "you shouldn't be laughing at this, it's juvenile" (stifles a laugh) and the juvenile always wins. But there is a LOT more than adolescent humour going on here - most of the humour is very adult, dark, and viciously, outrageously hilarious. I had to stop reading several times because I was howling, laughing nearly to tears, or just appalled at myself at the fact that I was laughing in the first place.
There is an abundance of pop culture references, innuendo about current world politics, and even nods to famous books and authors such as Scott Lynch's Gentleman Bastards series. None of it felt out of place, and only enhanced my reading experience, and that is a credit to Synder in the way it was done, because usually this sort of stuff I find somewhat distracting in a fantasy book. But that's my particular taste issue, not anything an author does wrong by going there.
Synder tackles some compelling themes in the book, including religion, and apathy towards it, as seen through Nenn's disdain:
"I'm not much for religion, never really was. It's hard to believe in any deity that says 'This is your life. You can't improve it, but if you worship me, I can make it not worse. That's not patronage, it's blackmail. It's a protection racket. I'd seen a million of them, growing up in the streets and the alleys. I could respect the hustle, but not the sentiment."
I need to pay homage here to the tale within a tale in the book (a feature I adore in fantasy), the story of the Goblin King. This was phenomenal: I recommend the reader slow down and pay attention to this one when it appears.
I cannot conclude a review of this book without mentioning some of the chapter titles. These days one rarely finds chapter titles anymore in books, however...here are some of them in "River of Thieves": Bandit Lettuce Tomato, This Asshole Again, That's a Filthy Joke You Dickhead, Storytime for Wayward Rogues, Party Crashing and Insurrection for Fun and Profit, Pirates are Just Thieves with More Syphilis and perhaps my favourite - Cat Shit and Violence. Do I need to say more?
Finally, to state the obvious, this book is truly dark. Don't read it if you are not ready for that. I found Qoth's tale interspersed throughout the narrative was particularly bleak and gruesome, but as noted above, very valuable into learning more about the overall story and character motivations. Like most grimdark books - and remember I consider Snyder a grimdark master - prepare to be surprised, horrified, creeped out, and be given lots to ponder after you finish the book.
Crude, rude, funny as hell, gory, bizarre, ultimately brilliant, "River of Thieves" goes into my consideration for my top books I read so far in 2022, and the twisted genius that is Clayton Synder has not disappointed me yet. I plan to read everything this very talented writer writes.
January 24, 2020
This read kind of what it would be like if you were reading more stories about Locke and Jean except one was a woman and the other one kept dying and then coming back from the dead as part of the heist fuckery. This is a story that centers around heists, there’s lots of creative cursing, and the banter is similar in tone and jest. There are chapter titles such as: “The One Time a Horse Almost Fucked Me”, and I Kind of Miss the Dick Spiders”, and “Dolphin Orgy” This is, however, it’s own thing in its own right.
It took me a minute to realize our MC, Nenn, was a woman. Everything is from her perspective written in the first person. It could be easily argued that Cord, her partner, is just as much of a MC as she is. Their relationship reminded me of Locke & Jean and there’s even a nod to the Gentleman Bastards early on in the book, getting ahead of the inevitable comparisons. Nenn seems to be the brains and the more cautious one of the bunch of thieves. She can be convinced to do stupid things though, and now she’s found herself getting roped into the biggest heist of their careers … if everything goes to plan, they will have more money and riches than they could possibly spend in a lifetime. First, though, they need to build their team. Eventually, we have a team of side characters added over the first half of the book and for the most part, I enjoyed them. I think I found Lux the undead sorceress the most interesting, but my heart was all with Rek, a lumbering mountain of a man who loves kitties.
The plot was the weakest part of this book for me, sometimes it wandered around a bit… well more than a bit. There were times I got a little lost and forgot what was going on because the banter and weirdness going on around it obscured the plotline. I was really more in it for the characters and their banter, and the interesting world-building and magic. The fact that Cord kept coming back from the dead by vomiting up some odd creature caught my attention early. The “Harrowers” are just as eerie as the name implies. I liked the setting which took place mostly up and down a river and in small shanty towns with less than savory people.
The writing was clean, I didn’t catch any errors that I can remember, (I’m writing this review months after I finished the book). It was quick paced purely because the dialogue was so abundant and so enjoyable to read I just kept turning pages. I think I got through this in a day or two, and if you have a few spare hours this could make for a fun weekend worth of reading. I’ll definitely find the time to read more by this author. Also, look at that cover – I might buy the hard copy because it looks so neat.
TLDR: Gentleman Bastards type humor mixed in with Pratchett. Quirky and memorable characters. Heists, rogue characters, group going on a mission. Neat world-building with old school mysterious magic, undead main characters, and wizards. Quick reads.
Ratings:
Plot: 9.5/15
Characters: 13/15
World Building: 12/15
Writing: 13/15
Pacing: 11/15
Originality: 12/15
Personal Enjoyment: 8/10
Final Score: 78.5/100
More Reviews on my blog: https://weatherwaxreport.blog/2020/01...
It took me a minute to realize our MC, Nenn, was a woman. Everything is from her perspective written in the first person. It could be easily argued that Cord, her partner, is just as much of a MC as she is. Their relationship reminded me of Locke & Jean and there’s even a nod to the Gentleman Bastards early on in the book, getting ahead of the inevitable comparisons. Nenn seems to be the brains and the more cautious one of the bunch of thieves. She can be convinced to do stupid things though, and now she’s found herself getting roped into the biggest heist of their careers … if everything goes to plan, they will have more money and riches than they could possibly spend in a lifetime. First, though, they need to build their team. Eventually, we have a team of side characters added over the first half of the book and for the most part, I enjoyed them. I think I found Lux the undead sorceress the most interesting, but my heart was all with Rek, a lumbering mountain of a man who loves kitties.
The plot was the weakest part of this book for me, sometimes it wandered around a bit… well more than a bit. There were times I got a little lost and forgot what was going on because the banter and weirdness going on around it obscured the plotline. I was really more in it for the characters and their banter, and the interesting world-building and magic. The fact that Cord kept coming back from the dead by vomiting up some odd creature caught my attention early. The “Harrowers” are just as eerie as the name implies. I liked the setting which took place mostly up and down a river and in small shanty towns with less than savory people.
The writing was clean, I didn’t catch any errors that I can remember, (I’m writing this review months after I finished the book). It was quick paced purely because the dialogue was so abundant and so enjoyable to read I just kept turning pages. I think I got through this in a day or two, and if you have a few spare hours this could make for a fun weekend worth of reading. I’ll definitely find the time to read more by this author. Also, look at that cover – I might buy the hard copy because it looks so neat.
TLDR: Gentleman Bastards type humor mixed in with Pratchett. Quirky and memorable characters. Heists, rogue characters, group going on a mission. Neat world-building with old school mysterious magic, undead main characters, and wizards. Quick reads.
Ratings:
Plot: 9.5/15
Characters: 13/15
World Building: 12/15
Writing: 13/15
Pacing: 11/15
Originality: 12/15
Personal Enjoyment: 8/10
Final Score: 78.5/100
More Reviews on my blog: https://weatherwaxreport.blog/2020/01...
December 3, 2020
Boy, this was a mess. I'll start with the good, but this is going to be more like upside-down shit toast than a shit sandwich.
The Harrowers were a pretty cool concept. I liked parts of what Cord was about, and the author did an okay job of making me care about him and the POV character.
Any good ideas this book had were totally undermined by the pacing, though. Holy moly, this was a non-stop action thrill ride in the worst way possible. The entire book could pretty much be summed up as: thing happens, dick joke, thing happens, shit joke, thing happens. Everything felt rushed and the stakes, which seem high at the outset of any given scene, are spoiled by the fact that everything just sort of turns out okay and we're onto the next dick joke. Every single plot point is dealt with so quickly that the book should come with a whiplash warning and nothing really seems to matter. Even the final climactic battle is done in a couple of pages, leaving a sense of "huh, I guess it's over."
Which, appropriately, brings me onto the language of the book. It's crude. I've seen some people in other reviews comparing this to Terry Pratchett and I can't help but think those people have never actually read a Pratchett novel. This is closer to the TV show Bottom, but with none of that show's self awareness or social commentary. It's just puerile, incessantly puerile, and coupled with the gratingly modern parlance of the characters in general, it started to ware on my nerves very quickly.
Normally, I don't mind a touch of modern language in my fantasy - Gideon the Ninth was my favourite book this year, and it's full of the stuff. But here, for reasons I can't quite put my finger on, it just felt off. Maybe it was because it was usually used to make the characters seem edgy and sarcastic, which always came off as juvenile. Maybe the rest of the book rubbed me the wrong way so badly that I wasn't willing to go along with author on his foul-mouthed ride. To be clear, I've no problem with swearing or crude jokes, but when more than half of the dialogue in the book is swearing or crude jokes, they lose any edge they might once have had.
It's rare that I DNF a book, but honestly I think I only finished this one out of spite - so I could leave a review about how much I disliked it without having people question my commitment. Maybe it's the fact that the breakneck speed made the book feel mercifully short. Either way, I did see it out, and I'm glad I did, because I can say without doubt that this book does not improve at the end.
The Harrowers were a pretty cool concept. I liked parts of what Cord was about, and the author did an okay job of making me care about him and the POV character.
Any good ideas this book had were totally undermined by the pacing, though. Holy moly, this was a non-stop action thrill ride in the worst way possible. The entire book could pretty much be summed up as: thing happens, dick joke, thing happens, shit joke, thing happens. Everything felt rushed and the stakes, which seem high at the outset of any given scene, are spoiled by the fact that everything just sort of turns out okay and we're onto the next dick joke. Every single plot point is dealt with so quickly that the book should come with a whiplash warning and nothing really seems to matter. Even the final climactic battle is done in a couple of pages, leaving a sense of "huh, I guess it's over."
Which, appropriately, brings me onto the language of the book. It's crude. I've seen some people in other reviews comparing this to Terry Pratchett and I can't help but think those people have never actually read a Pratchett novel. This is closer to the TV show Bottom, but with none of that show's self awareness or social commentary. It's just puerile, incessantly puerile, and coupled with the gratingly modern parlance of the characters in general, it started to ware on my nerves very quickly.
Normally, I don't mind a touch of modern language in my fantasy - Gideon the Ninth was my favourite book this year, and it's full of the stuff. But here, for reasons I can't quite put my finger on, it just felt off. Maybe it was because it was usually used to make the characters seem edgy and sarcastic, which always came off as juvenile. Maybe the rest of the book rubbed me the wrong way so badly that I wasn't willing to go along with author on his foul-mouthed ride. To be clear, I've no problem with swearing or crude jokes, but when more than half of the dialogue in the book is swearing or crude jokes, they lose any edge they might once have had.
It's rare that I DNF a book, but honestly I think I only finished this one out of spite - so I could leave a review about how much I disliked it without having people question my commitment. Maybe it's the fact that the breakneck speed made the book feel mercifully short. Either way, I did see it out, and I'm glad I did, because I can say without doubt that this book does not improve at the end.
September 14, 2019
Do you like stories with great characters? How about ones with great world building? How about stories that are funny? If so, this book is definitely not for you. This is a truly terrible read.
April 24, 2019
We were the worst kind of people. For the best reasons. We understood that, even if no one else did.
After a robbery gone horribly wrong, Cord, a cursed thief, broadens his horizons and plans to execute the heist of a lifetime. With fellow thief and knife connoisseur Nenn in tow, the two build their ragtag crew to target the heart of the kingdom - Midian, the seat of tyrant King Mane Anaxos. As treachery, horrifying creatures of nightmare, and opposition bar their path at every turn, the gang must depend on skill - intellectual, martial, and magical - to deliver them an endless summer and keep them free from the clutches of evil despotism.
I've had the pleasure of beta reading this book and have witnessed something great only evolve and grow in scope and grandeur, becoming even more amazing, with each iteration. On its surface, this story is a wild and insane ride, peppered with plenty of "wtf?" moments, violent, wince-inducing action, and crude humor, but beneath all the layers, this is a tale of fighting for what you believe in, of how inaction is just as detrimental and damning as the actual crime, and how people need not share blood in order to be family. While dark and serious themes are tackled within, the pages are literally oozing with an unapologetic, sarcastic, and refreshing humor I've rarely encountered in books I've read over the years. And if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard reading a story in my life…ever. River of Thieves is highly imaginative, wildly hilarious, and so very weird - in the best way possible.
It's impossible to begin discussing River of Thieves without giving Cord & Co. the attention they deserve, as Cord, Nenn, Rek, and Lux complete one of the most dynamic and charming "ragtag group of rogues" I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Collectively, they're a group of charismatic, intelligent (debatable), debaucherous, sweary, and stabby thieves with tons of heart, willing to do whatever needs to be done in order to instill and protect the free will they believe all are entitled to. However, they have no regard for collateral damage, and more often than not, disaster and death of immeasurable proportion follow in their wake. While each contributes to the group in their own distinct way, they have more in common than they would like to believe, leading to some pretty impressive and witty banter, bickering, and artistic insults - as with any family, of course. As for secondary characters, I…I just can't…you’ll have to pick up the book to meet them yourself (Tug's my favorite, by the way).
Ever since I cracked open Snyder's Child of Nod, I've been a fan of his flowing and poetic prose, and he never ceases to impress. The use of metaphors and skillfully executed comparative language vividly paints this story in a such a way I didn't think possible, being both impactful and exceedingly amusing. The narrative itself is told through the eyes of Nenn, giving it a strong voice, projecting a firsthand account of the action, and perfectly immersing you in the many misadventures they face along their journeys. She's a sassy and sarcastic badass, and the tone of the tale reflects this. In addition to the main storyline, crafted myths are injected to add depth and history in interesting and entertaining ways - the tale of the goblin king is quite possibly the most beautifully written little yarn I’ve ever read.
He did not weep though the ground doubled and trebled before him and the carmine drops on his blade blurred to the point of blossoming into petals.
The story itself is broken up into three parts, each their own little adventure, but tied together throughout. Whether we're celebrating St. Cruciatus Day in the flooded streets of Midian, hiding away in a little hamlet under the boot of religious oppression, ascending the dominating onyx tower in the bustling center of Orlecht, or just sailing our way downriver, there's no shortage of interesting settings, strange enemies, or trouble to encounter. Although part one is the largest of the three and mainly focuses on events in one city, parts two and three are definitely a build-up for a grander story to (hopefully!) be addressed in future Cord & Co. books.
River of Thieves is one of the most entertaining reads I've read this year, and I cannot express enough how much I've fallen in love with these amazing characters. To me, this is a bit of a deranged retelling of Robin Hood - punish the rich…and also everyone else - done in such an exceptional way, using ridiculous(ly funny) pop culture references, pitch black humor, and unwavering emotion. I had so much fun reading this and am really looking forward to spending more time with the gang in the future. This book has a little bit of something for everyone, so you should definitely pick it up and give it a try. I highly recommend.
After a robbery gone horribly wrong, Cord, a cursed thief, broadens his horizons and plans to execute the heist of a lifetime. With fellow thief and knife connoisseur Nenn in tow, the two build their ragtag crew to target the heart of the kingdom - Midian, the seat of tyrant King Mane Anaxos. As treachery, horrifying creatures of nightmare, and opposition bar their path at every turn, the gang must depend on skill - intellectual, martial, and magical - to deliver them an endless summer and keep them free from the clutches of evil despotism.
I've had the pleasure of beta reading this book and have witnessed something great only evolve and grow in scope and grandeur, becoming even more amazing, with each iteration. On its surface, this story is a wild and insane ride, peppered with plenty of "wtf?" moments, violent, wince-inducing action, and crude humor, but beneath all the layers, this is a tale of fighting for what you believe in, of how inaction is just as detrimental and damning as the actual crime, and how people need not share blood in order to be family. While dark and serious themes are tackled within, the pages are literally oozing with an unapologetic, sarcastic, and refreshing humor I've rarely encountered in books I've read over the years. And if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard reading a story in my life…ever. River of Thieves is highly imaginative, wildly hilarious, and so very weird - in the best way possible.
It's impossible to begin discussing River of Thieves without giving Cord & Co. the attention they deserve, as Cord, Nenn, Rek, and Lux complete one of the most dynamic and charming "ragtag group of rogues" I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Collectively, they're a group of charismatic, intelligent (debatable), debaucherous, sweary, and stabby thieves with tons of heart, willing to do whatever needs to be done in order to instill and protect the free will they believe all are entitled to. However, they have no regard for collateral damage, and more often than not, disaster and death of immeasurable proportion follow in their wake. While each contributes to the group in their own distinct way, they have more in common than they would like to believe, leading to some pretty impressive and witty banter, bickering, and artistic insults - as with any family, of course. As for secondary characters, I…I just can't…you’ll have to pick up the book to meet them yourself (Tug's my favorite, by the way).
Ever since I cracked open Snyder's Child of Nod, I've been a fan of his flowing and poetic prose, and he never ceases to impress. The use of metaphors and skillfully executed comparative language vividly paints this story in a such a way I didn't think possible, being both impactful and exceedingly amusing. The narrative itself is told through the eyes of Nenn, giving it a strong voice, projecting a firsthand account of the action, and perfectly immersing you in the many misadventures they face along their journeys. She's a sassy and sarcastic badass, and the tone of the tale reflects this. In addition to the main storyline, crafted myths are injected to add depth and history in interesting and entertaining ways - the tale of the goblin king is quite possibly the most beautifully written little yarn I’ve ever read.
He did not weep though the ground doubled and trebled before him and the carmine drops on his blade blurred to the point of blossoming into petals.
The story itself is broken up into three parts, each their own little adventure, but tied together throughout. Whether we're celebrating St. Cruciatus Day in the flooded streets of Midian, hiding away in a little hamlet under the boot of religious oppression, ascending the dominating onyx tower in the bustling center of Orlecht, or just sailing our way downriver, there's no shortage of interesting settings, strange enemies, or trouble to encounter. Although part one is the largest of the three and mainly focuses on events in one city, parts two and three are definitely a build-up for a grander story to (hopefully!) be addressed in future Cord & Co. books.
River of Thieves is one of the most entertaining reads I've read this year, and I cannot express enough how much I've fallen in love with these amazing characters. To me, this is a bit of a deranged retelling of Robin Hood - punish the rich…and also everyone else - done in such an exceptional way, using ridiculous(ly funny) pop culture references, pitch black humor, and unwavering emotion. I had so much fun reading this and am really looking forward to spending more time with the gang in the future. This book has a little bit of something for everyone, so you should definitely pick it up and give it a try. I highly recommend.
Want to read
November 22, 2020LMAO this book has passed in and out of my radar for some months now and y'all reviewing this book comparing it with Gentleman Bastards and Pratchett calm your tits I'm adding it to my TBR now
June 25, 2019
An entertaining and viciously funny heist story with lots and lots of pop-culture references, twisted and dark sense of humor (think Family Guy meets Guy Ritchie). Also, lots and lots of profanity and swearing :)
July 10, 2019
4.5 stars. Hilarious, action-packed and touching. There were a few minor plot holes, hence the 1/2 star off. But, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
December 5, 2019
I loved this book! River of Thieves is an excellent tale that often makes you consider whether Cord, Nenn and the rest of the crew are brave or just plain stupid, as they move from heist, to con, to murder and back again - often all at the same time. It's hugely entertaining to watch them go abut their bitter, bloody and ultimately brilliant business. The characters drive the plot and the ties that bind them only serve to make their losses, victories and half-misses all the more compelling.
This book hit all the right notes for me, dark, sardonic, witty, emotional, hilarious and action packed. Get yourself a copy of River of Thieves or you'll be missing out on one of my favourite reads of 2019.
This book hit all the right notes for me, dark, sardonic, witty, emotional, hilarious and action packed. Get yourself a copy of River of Thieves or you'll be missing out on one of my favourite reads of 2019.
Read
April 23, 2019DNF because CNF.
February 18, 2020
I've put off writing a review for this book for a while, because I couldn't think of how to describe it in a way that would do it justice. It's fantasy, of course, and it's funny, disgusting, strange, heartbreaking and thrilling in turn. It can also at times be confusing and seemingly disjointed, but in the end, you come to realize that confusion, those abrupt scene changes are deliberate - it honestly demands the reader's attention. Too few fantasy books nowadays expect you to put on your big kid pants. River of Thieves does, and I have a great deal of respect for that.
If you are a fantasy fan who also has a soft spot for, say, Hunter S. Thompson, you're going to love this book.
If you are a fantasy fan who also has a soft spot for, say, Hunter S. Thompson, you're going to love this book.
April 30, 2019
If you’ve ever wondered what a Terry Pratchett novel would look like if he got drunk and dabbled in grimdark, well...here you go. The table of contents alone gives a great indication of RoT’s tone and my god could I not stop laughing. If you enjoy snark, magic, and dick spiders, please do pick up a copy of River of Thieves and let Cord take you on a ride.
August 10, 2019
If Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams got really drunk together...
This book is not for the faint of heart. F-bombs galore. If you're not easily shocked, read on...
The short synopsis doesn't look too exciting. A few characters come together, cause lots of wreckage for good reasons, murder a God or two, like you do. The end. But there's no way I can give River of Thieves justice just by giving you a short summary, similarly to any Pratchett book, because the strength of the book lies in the voice and the characters. The banter between Cord (lead character) and Nenn (the narrator – I am fascinated by how Snyder pulls off the narrator and protagonist not being the same person) is worth six stars alone. A muscled giant who cares less for himself and more for Mr. Meowington. An undead wizardess, who is sometimes a bit more undead than at other times. And more one-liners than you can eat.
There's an old saying. It goes something like 'if man makes plans, and the gods laugh, then burn them down, piss on the ashes, then mix them with shit and paint the walls with the leftovers.
There are not-so-gentle allusions to Earth politics in the book (I am not throwing comparisons to Sir Terry around lightly). How do you like knowing that wizards, mostly known for their 'well, actuallys', form a club called The Unfucks, as in Involuntarily Unfuckable? How do you like graphic descriptions of dick spiders? Oh. That's not political. I think.
(TW: there's a dick spider in the book. If you're a conservative or very religious person you will not like much about this book, I think. Maybe the cover.)
You know what, just read it, especially as I want to copy-paste the entire book as my favourite bit. Except the ending. Hurry up with the sequel, Mr Snyder. I'm deducting a star for the ending, so it's only 5/5.
This book is not for the faint of heart. F-bombs galore. If you're not easily shocked, read on...
The short synopsis doesn't look too exciting. A few characters come together, cause lots of wreckage for good reasons, murder a God or two, like you do. The end. But there's no way I can give River of Thieves justice just by giving you a short summary, similarly to any Pratchett book, because the strength of the book lies in the voice and the characters. The banter between Cord (lead character) and Nenn (the narrator – I am fascinated by how Snyder pulls off the narrator and protagonist not being the same person) is worth six stars alone. A muscled giant who cares less for himself and more for Mr. Meowington. An undead wizardess, who is sometimes a bit more undead than at other times. And more one-liners than you can eat.
There's an old saying. It goes something like 'if man makes plans, and the gods laugh, then burn them down, piss on the ashes, then mix them with shit and paint the walls with the leftovers.
There are not-so-gentle allusions to Earth politics in the book (I am not throwing comparisons to Sir Terry around lightly). How do you like knowing that wizards, mostly known for their 'well, actuallys', form a club called The Unfucks, as in Involuntarily Unfuckable? How do you like graphic descriptions of dick spiders? Oh. That's not political. I think.
(TW: there's a dick spider in the book. If you're a conservative or very religious person you will not like much about this book, I think. Maybe the cover.)
You know what, just read it, especially as I want to copy-paste the entire book as my favourite bit. Except the ending. Hurry up with the sequel, Mr Snyder. I'm deducting a star for the ending, so it's only 5/5.
July 7, 2019
4.5 stars
A wickedly funny satire (not for the easily offended) with a lot of heart. There are so many snicker, giggle, or laugh-out-loud moments, but the book is more than the sum of its jokes. The excellent characterization and in particular, the relationship between thief Cord and Nenn the narrator, is really what makes this book stand out. There’s depth beneath the humor; Cord is like Robin Hood on speed, but inside all the craziness, the story has a lot to say about friendship and what makes a family.
I loved Cord and Nenn, and I would gladly read as many books about them as Snyder wants to write. Nenn’s dry, ironic, take-no-crap voice is fun to read, and Snyder’s dialogue is snappy and, along with Nenn’s voice, carries the book. The plot meanders around a bit; the book functions more as three separate parts linked together than as a single plot. But to me, the plot was really secondary anyway. Most of the fun of the book was watching Cord and Nenn interact.
I was lucky enough to beta read an early version of this book, and I really enjoyed reading it again in its finished version.
A wickedly funny satire (not for the easily offended) with a lot of heart. There are so many snicker, giggle, or laugh-out-loud moments, but the book is more than the sum of its jokes. The excellent characterization and in particular, the relationship between thief Cord and Nenn the narrator, is really what makes this book stand out. There’s depth beneath the humor; Cord is like Robin Hood on speed, but inside all the craziness, the story has a lot to say about friendship and what makes a family.
I loved Cord and Nenn, and I would gladly read as many books about them as Snyder wants to write. Nenn’s dry, ironic, take-no-crap voice is fun to read, and Snyder’s dialogue is snappy and, along with Nenn’s voice, carries the book. The plot meanders around a bit; the book functions more as three separate parts linked together than as a single plot. But to me, the plot was really secondary anyway. Most of the fun of the book was watching Cord and Nenn interact.
I was lucky enough to beta read an early version of this book, and I really enjoyed reading it again in its finished version.
April 23, 2019
River of Thieves is so much fun! Funny, clever, quirky, odd, Snyder comes up with the strangest ideas and makes you laugh (while also muttering WTF? under your breath.) River of Thieves pokes fun and tropes and stereotypes in a playful way, but also pays homage to some great indie voices that have gone before. Along with the satire are some really great fantasy ideas - messed up sorcerers called Harrowers, a crazy magic system, and of course tyrants and gods in need of an attitude adjustment!
Great for readers who aren't afraid of spiders :-)
Great for readers who aren't afraid of spiders :-)
March 4, 2020
Preamble
I picked this one up ages back, when the author, Clayton Snyder /u/cw_snyder , announced a sale on a thread here on r/fantasy. Something described as a foul-mouthed Pratchett immediately caught my attention. I must admit: I am one for the puerile, the juvenile, the ridiculous. The dirtier the joke, the better. In fact, I am currently writing a series of bawdy tales which play up the very same sort of humour. So, I suppose this is research?
A quick note about my review style: I am no monkey picking nits from the hide of his pack mate. I take a Ram Dassian view of art, i.e. perfection does not exist in nature, but five out of five reviews do (go figure)! I try to look at books as forests, rather than groupings of trees, and I’m not a teacher. If a book is effective in what it sets out to do, the writing is good, and I am happy with it when it’s done, I generally give it full marks. Small stylistic, grammatical, or spelling blemishes do not usually detract from a score. What will detract is abortive pacing (one of my biggest peeves), overuse of description (see my first peeve), and ineffectual characterization. I also know from personal experience that some things decried as bugs are in fact features, so I try to appreciate what an author is trying to do when I come up with my score.
In this case, the book was billed as a comedic romp through something grim. I think ‘dick joke’ was mentioned in the selling blurb, so I was immediately intrigued.
Review – 5/5
And with good reason! Let me copy out something I highlighted from the text: “How wizards seem to be obsessed with dicks. I mean, they’re everywhere. Not once have I seen a vagina monster, Cord. Why?”
This is just one of the many philosophical asides of great import offered up by one of the characters in the book. Nenn, the main character in the tale (it’s told from her perspective), is best friends with Cord, a guy who has been cursed with… eternal life? It’s a pretty cool hook, the whole revenant thing. Cord apparently got on the wrong side of a Harrower, a necromancer-type thing who made it so that every time he died, he would come back (after vomiting up some strange insectile bit of meat that skitters around before getting slapstick smashed by whoever is around).
Cord and Nenn end up plotting a few heists, meeting some other ‘party members,’ slaughter a bunch of things (during battles in which Cord inevitably gets killed). The ‘main quest’ gets finished about halfway through the book, and then something new comes into play. Which brings me to my only issue with the book.
I had a hard time deciding whether I would give this book a 4 or a 5 out of 5. And the reason is strictly this: I had a hard time following / caring about the plot beyond it being a backdrop for the jokes. It’s not strictly a bad thing, but there were several jarring dream sequences / involvement of other points of view that did not sit well with me. However, I did ‘get it’ – that is, I understood the reasoning for it and I don’t think it was badly executed. But the world itself did not feel ‘real’ to me. There were glimmers throughout the book, times when I thought the chain would catch and the engine would rev on the emotional attachment, but it petered out each time.
Which brought me back to my own review philosophy. Here’s how I see it: if you are looking for something different, a good laugh at stupid shit like a golem with dicks for eyes, you are in for a treat. If you are looking for a story that tugs at the old heartstrings or gets a serious investment from you in terms of caring, I’m not sure this is the story.
Because, let me make sure you understand: I laughed out loud several times while I was reading this book. I caught pop culture references (was someone accused of being a rabid anti-deadite in the story, a la Seinfeld’s anti-dentite), I chuckled at the ridiculous situations and characters, I thoroughly enjoyed a large portion of the banter. It did what it was supposed to do and did it well. Which means a 5 out of 5 in my book.
Do yourself a favour and read it for a laugh.
I picked this one up ages back, when the author, Clayton Snyder /u/cw_snyder , announced a sale on a thread here on r/fantasy. Something described as a foul-mouthed Pratchett immediately caught my attention. I must admit: I am one for the puerile, the juvenile, the ridiculous. The dirtier the joke, the better. In fact, I am currently writing a series of bawdy tales which play up the very same sort of humour. So, I suppose this is research?
A quick note about my review style: I am no monkey picking nits from the hide of his pack mate. I take a Ram Dassian view of art, i.e. perfection does not exist in nature, but five out of five reviews do (go figure)! I try to look at books as forests, rather than groupings of trees, and I’m not a teacher. If a book is effective in what it sets out to do, the writing is good, and I am happy with it when it’s done, I generally give it full marks. Small stylistic, grammatical, or spelling blemishes do not usually detract from a score. What will detract is abortive pacing (one of my biggest peeves), overuse of description (see my first peeve), and ineffectual characterization. I also know from personal experience that some things decried as bugs are in fact features, so I try to appreciate what an author is trying to do when I come up with my score.
In this case, the book was billed as a comedic romp through something grim. I think ‘dick joke’ was mentioned in the selling blurb, so I was immediately intrigued.
Review – 5/5
And with good reason! Let me copy out something I highlighted from the text: “How wizards seem to be obsessed with dicks. I mean, they’re everywhere. Not once have I seen a vagina monster, Cord. Why?”
This is just one of the many philosophical asides of great import offered up by one of the characters in the book. Nenn, the main character in the tale (it’s told from her perspective), is best friends with Cord, a guy who has been cursed with… eternal life? It’s a pretty cool hook, the whole revenant thing. Cord apparently got on the wrong side of a Harrower, a necromancer-type thing who made it so that every time he died, he would come back (after vomiting up some strange insectile bit of meat that skitters around before getting slapstick smashed by whoever is around).
Cord and Nenn end up plotting a few heists, meeting some other ‘party members,’ slaughter a bunch of things (during battles in which Cord inevitably gets killed). The ‘main quest’ gets finished about halfway through the book, and then something new comes into play. Which brings me to my only issue with the book.
I had a hard time deciding whether I would give this book a 4 or a 5 out of 5. And the reason is strictly this: I had a hard time following / caring about the plot beyond it being a backdrop for the jokes. It’s not strictly a bad thing, but there were several jarring dream sequences / involvement of other points of view that did not sit well with me. However, I did ‘get it’ – that is, I understood the reasoning for it and I don’t think it was badly executed. But the world itself did not feel ‘real’ to me. There were glimmers throughout the book, times when I thought the chain would catch and the engine would rev on the emotional attachment, but it petered out each time.
Which brought me back to my own review philosophy. Here’s how I see it: if you are looking for something different, a good laugh at stupid shit like a golem with dicks for eyes, you are in for a treat. If you are looking for a story that tugs at the old heartstrings or gets a serious investment from you in terms of caring, I’m not sure this is the story.
Because, let me make sure you understand: I laughed out loud several times while I was reading this book. I caught pop culture references (was someone accused of being a rabid anti-deadite in the story, a la Seinfeld’s anti-dentite), I chuckled at the ridiculous situations and characters, I thoroughly enjoyed a large portion of the banter. It did what it was supposed to do and did it well. Which means a 5 out of 5 in my book.
Do yourself a favour and read it for a laugh.
September 26, 2019
Note: this book contains cussing, graphic violence, sexual innuendoes, vulgar humor, and breaking the fourth wall. It’s not for everyone! If it was a movie, it would be rated R. Think Deadpool.
That said, I have to appreciate the humor. While it’s vulgar and gross, it doesn’t cross the line into truly offensive for me. For example, there are no offensive terms for minority groups (racist, homophobic, misogynist, etc.) or rape jokes. Sometimes “shock comics” throw in these types of horrible jokes just to rile people up, but the author doesn’t stoop to that level. There is bathroom humor, dick jokes, and worse, but it follows the example of “punching up.” It makes fun of the privileged people in power instead of kicking people who are already down. So while it sometimes had me a little horrified, it didn’t make me want to throw the book across the room or quit reading.
Also, I love the female protagonist, Nenn. She’s super relatable and very realistic in the way she’s written. I would love her no matter who wrote her, but I feel the need to call out that the author is male. I’ve complained about a few books from SPFBO this year because of problems with male authors writing female characters as stereotypes and/or sex objects. Nenn reads like women that I’ve known. I’m assuming that the author did his research when it comes to things like menstrual cramps because there were sections that had me clutching my midsection in sympathy.
It was a fun romp as the thieves sail around and have various adventures. I really enjoyed seeing all of the different places and troubles that the characters got themselves into. I’d watch an episodic TV show with this bunch as they encountered monster-of-the-week type situations. If I was just rating this book on the amount of entertainment, I would give it five stars.
Where it fell down for me was the jumbled story arc. About halfway through the novel, there are attempts to hint at a larger arc with a reoccurring villain and some involvement with gods who have plans for the characters. But a lot of this seems to get shoved to the side in favor of the next joke or wacky situation. If I tried to plot out the rise and fall of the action in this story, it would be all over the place. And that chaos wouldn’t be bad if, as I said, it was intentionally episodic or a rambling journey. But then it tries to sew things up into an ending that left me dissatisfied and a little confused.
It wasn’t labeled as a series when I picked up this book, and I originally felt it worked okay as a stand-alone. Now I see that there’s a new cover (see above) and it claims it’s “Thieves’ Lyric Book 1” (not sure if I’m reading that correctly). The author mentioned he’s working on a sequel. Maybe things will become more clear in a second book and things are left hanging because it’s leaving the door open for things to come.
LGBT representation: Cord and Nenn both seem to be bisexual/pansexual and are intimate with people of different genders. Lux also shows attraction to other women. None of this is called out as remarkable or in the minority, like maybe their society just takes it for granted that sexual attraction isn’t restricted by gender.
So I’m rating it four stars, maybe edging into 4.5. I would definitely recommend it to fans of dark humor and rogueish fantasy. If you like Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, Steven Brust’s Vlad Taltos novels, and/or the movies Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Deadpool, and you enjoy cussing/R-rated humor, then you might enjoy the book. Come along for the ride but don’t try to make too much sense of the plot.
That said, I have to appreciate the humor. While it’s vulgar and gross, it doesn’t cross the line into truly offensive for me. For example, there are no offensive terms for minority groups (racist, homophobic, misogynist, etc.) or rape jokes. Sometimes “shock comics” throw in these types of horrible jokes just to rile people up, but the author doesn’t stoop to that level. There is bathroom humor, dick jokes, and worse, but it follows the example of “punching up.” It makes fun of the privileged people in power instead of kicking people who are already down. So while it sometimes had me a little horrified, it didn’t make me want to throw the book across the room or quit reading.
Also, I love the female protagonist, Nenn. She’s super relatable and very realistic in the way she’s written. I would love her no matter who wrote her, but I feel the need to call out that the author is male. I’ve complained about a few books from SPFBO this year because of problems with male authors writing female characters as stereotypes and/or sex objects. Nenn reads like women that I’ve known. I’m assuming that the author did his research when it comes to things like menstrual cramps because there were sections that had me clutching my midsection in sympathy.
It was a fun romp as the thieves sail around and have various adventures. I really enjoyed seeing all of the different places and troubles that the characters got themselves into. I’d watch an episodic TV show with this bunch as they encountered monster-of-the-week type situations. If I was just rating this book on the amount of entertainment, I would give it five stars.
Where it fell down for me was the jumbled story arc. About halfway through the novel, there are attempts to hint at a larger arc with a reoccurring villain and some involvement with gods who have plans for the characters. But a lot of this seems to get shoved to the side in favor of the next joke or wacky situation. If I tried to plot out the rise and fall of the action in this story, it would be all over the place. And that chaos wouldn’t be bad if, as I said, it was intentionally episodic or a rambling journey. But then it tries to sew things up into an ending that left me dissatisfied and a little confused.
It wasn’t labeled as a series when I picked up this book, and I originally felt it worked okay as a stand-alone. Now I see that there’s a new cover (see above) and it claims it’s “Thieves’ Lyric Book 1” (not sure if I’m reading that correctly). The author mentioned he’s working on a sequel. Maybe things will become more clear in a second book and things are left hanging because it’s leaving the door open for things to come.
LGBT representation: Cord and Nenn both seem to be bisexual/pansexual and are intimate with people of different genders. Lux also shows attraction to other women. None of this is called out as remarkable or in the minority, like maybe their society just takes it for granted that sexual attraction isn’t restricted by gender.
So I’m rating it four stars, maybe edging into 4.5. I would definitely recommend it to fans of dark humor and rogueish fantasy. If you like Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, Steven Brust’s Vlad Taltos novels, and/or the movies Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Deadpool, and you enjoy cussing/R-rated humor, then you might enjoy the book. Come along for the ride but don’t try to make too much sense of the plot.
March 19, 2020
What a laugh this book is!
Lots of action, lots of swearing (strong and amusingly creative), adult sexual content and a great deal of (appropriate) blood, gore and worse!
The characters and their story are engaging and the world-building is creative and convincing, so pick up the book, suspend belief and prepare to be delightfully revolted by the antics of this anarchic crew. Not for the faint of stomach.
(Borrowed on Kindle Unlimited)
Lots of action, lots of swearing (strong and amusingly creative), adult sexual content and a great deal of (appropriate) blood, gore and worse!
The characters and their story are engaging and the world-building is creative and convincing, so pick up the book, suspend belief and prepare to be delightfully revolted by the antics of this anarchic crew. Not for the faint of stomach.
(Borrowed on Kindle Unlimited)
November 6, 2019
Impressive dialogue throughout, full RTC
July 20, 2020
I hated this and could not finish it.
July 29, 2020
Great fun! Rollicking story that pushes you along with a legendary group - at least in their last an minds - as they topple kingdoms, kill gods, and continually drop references to current music! Who knew death and resurrection could be so much fun?
Beware, not all of the grammatical idiosyncrasies are unintentional. I think.
Beware, not all of the grammatical idiosyncrasies are unintentional. I think.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2019
Full of adventure, thiefcraft, and Pratchetesque humor, Clayton Snyder’s RIVER OF THIEVES is a picaresque caper set in a high fantasy world. There’s a lot to like about this book, particularly the colorful, nay, resplendent, use of language:
“...the masts looked like they’d give you a splinter if you looked at them wrong.”
“Not that Anaxos’ priests knew anything about that. The churches were in on it. Tithe, donate, spend. Make the pews more comfortable, make the books more ornate, make the spire bigger so we can fuck the heavens with our giant phallic patriarchal metaphor.”
Whereas most thief duos in fantasy share strong bonds of friendship (such as Royce & Hadrian; Jean & Locke), Snyder brings something different to the table with frenemies Nenn and Cord. Expect plenty of heated banter and such lovely threats as, “If we get out of this, I’m going to wear your balls for earrings, Cord.”
That was Nenn the narrator speaking. It’s largely her voice and reflections that kept me turning the page:
“My brain drifted with them, wondering what a normal life might look like. House, field, two kids, husband. Dog? Probably a dog.”
“When you’re handling dead guys and dealing with bureaucracy, you have fun when you can.”
Only problem is I found Cord more interesting than Nenn. As the leader of their job, it’s mostly him who pushes the plot along. I’ve seen this “Watson-to-Sherlock” style of narrating done in Scourge of the Betrayer, and had a problem there as well. It’s probably just a preference thing, seeing how well that work is generally received. Personally, I would’ve liked to see more agency from the main character rather than feeling left in the dust by Cord. I think it would’ve strengthened the overarching importance of/my interest in the plot itself.
“...the masts looked like they’d give you a splinter if you looked at them wrong.”
“Not that Anaxos’ priests knew anything about that. The churches were in on it. Tithe, donate, spend. Make the pews more comfortable, make the books more ornate, make the spire bigger so we can fuck the heavens with our giant phallic patriarchal metaphor.”
Whereas most thief duos in fantasy share strong bonds of friendship (such as Royce & Hadrian; Jean & Locke), Snyder brings something different to the table with frenemies Nenn and Cord. Expect plenty of heated banter and such lovely threats as, “If we get out of this, I’m going to wear your balls for earrings, Cord.”
That was Nenn the narrator speaking. It’s largely her voice and reflections that kept me turning the page:
“My brain drifted with them, wondering what a normal life might look like. House, field, two kids, husband. Dog? Probably a dog.”
“When you’re handling dead guys and dealing with bureaucracy, you have fun when you can.”
Only problem is I found Cord more interesting than Nenn. As the leader of their job, it’s mostly him who pushes the plot along. I’ve seen this “Watson-to-Sherlock” style of narrating done in Scourge of the Betrayer, and had a problem there as well. It’s probably just a preference thing, seeing how well that work is generally received. Personally, I would’ve liked to see more agency from the main character rather than feeling left in the dust by Cord. I think it would’ve strengthened the overarching importance of/my interest in the plot itself.
August 9, 2019
For the TL DR (“too long, didn’t read”) zombie swarm: River of Thieves (humorous fantasy) was lots of fun for me, and one of the main reasons for it is that the characters were quite unpredictable, they never said or did what I expected. I was delighted to find no clichés in dialogues or actions!
Now, for whomever may like to read more: in River of Thieves (ROT), the reader joins a most peculiar foursome of social misfits on the way to their ultimate job. They’re deadly, sometimes they’re gross, and still I caught myself finding them lovely in their own way. My darlings were the two girls, Nenn and Lux, but I must admit that Cord was the spirit and the heart of the group, and without Rek nothing would have worked out. I couldn’t help thinking it would be fun to have these dudes as characters in a RPG.
The titles of the chapters always made me chuckle. For instance, chapter 3 is called “That one time a horse almost f***** me”—without these asterisks that I added to avoid being caught by the moderation algorithm or reported by excessively sensitive people. So, here is a trigger warning: the book uses strong language. And another trigger warning: it contains as much gore as a horror book. I’m undisturbed by gore and I love strong language, because, even though I seldom voice it, all my thoughts come in strong language.
Finally, although I wouldn't expect anyone to agree with it, I'd like to share a highly subjective comparison, totally biased by my tastes: the humor in ROT often reminded me of Monty Python, and the way the characters came across a number of side quests made me think of Skyrim.
Now, for whomever may like to read more: in River of Thieves (ROT), the reader joins a most peculiar foursome of social misfits on the way to their ultimate job. They’re deadly, sometimes they’re gross, and still I caught myself finding them lovely in their own way. My darlings were the two girls, Nenn and Lux, but I must admit that Cord was the spirit and the heart of the group, and without Rek nothing would have worked out. I couldn’t help thinking it would be fun to have these dudes as characters in a RPG.
The titles of the chapters always made me chuckle. For instance, chapter 3 is called “That one time a horse almost f***** me”—without these asterisks that I added to avoid being caught by the moderation algorithm or reported by excessively sensitive people. So, here is a trigger warning: the book uses strong language. And another trigger warning: it contains as much gore as a horror book. I’m undisturbed by gore and I love strong language, because, even though I seldom voice it, all my thoughts come in strong language.
Finally, although I wouldn't expect anyone to agree with it, I'd like to share a highly subjective comparison, totally biased by my tastes: the humor in ROT often reminded me of Monty Python, and the way the characters came across a number of side quests made me think of Skyrim.
March 1, 2020
If Terry Pratchett and Guillermo del Toro had gotten together to write a sword & sorcery book, and then Tamsyn Muir had ambushed that book in a back alley and peeled its skin off to wear as a ragged flesh tuxedo, this would be the shaky cell phone video of the event as transcribed by a dirtbag tumblr humorist with a maimed but not yet dead sense of truth and justice. This book is not for everyone, but the people it’s for, it’s *for*.
April 11, 2020
When I rate books, I base my rating primarily on the amount of enjoyment I got out of reading them, and this book was a fucking blast! Fast paced, great dialogue, and enjoyable characters that I grew to love. Lot's of crassness and swearing, so avoid if that's not your thing. Not a flawless book, but a shit ton of fun, and at the end of the day, I read to be entertained, so that's really all I care about
December 5, 2019
A gem
Witty, very funny and some of the best characters I've read. A small group of people hook up to con, steal and cause havoc where ever they go. Throw in some nasty language and bad jokes and you got a heck of a book.
Witty, very funny and some of the best characters I've read. A small group of people hook up to con, steal and cause havoc where ever they go. Throw in some nasty language and bad jokes and you got a heck of a book.
July 19, 2020
DNF at 33%.
It's not a bad book, exactly, but it's one I found easy to put down and walk away from. The main issue, I think, is that the author has a very sparse, minimalist style, with an absolute minimum of exposition -- especially character exposition. The result is that after a hundred pages of gathering together the Heist Crew, the amount I know about any character could fit in maybe five sentences. It's mildly interesting, but there's just not enough there for me to really feel invested in the characters.
The setting has some pretty intriguing elements as well, but is likewise rather minimalist in presentation, and the plot is, at least at this point, a pretty barebones heist story.
Overall, not a bad book, but one that felt too stripped down to hook my interest.
It's not a bad book, exactly, but it's one I found easy to put down and walk away from. The main issue, I think, is that the author has a very sparse, minimalist style, with an absolute minimum of exposition -- especially character exposition. The result is that after a hundred pages of gathering together the Heist Crew, the amount I know about any character could fit in maybe five sentences. It's mildly interesting, but there's just not enough there for me to really feel invested in the characters.
The setting has some pretty intriguing elements as well, but is likewise rather minimalist in presentation, and the plot is, at least at this point, a pretty barebones heist story.
Overall, not a bad book, but one that felt too stripped down to hook my interest.
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