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Everything Changes: The Insider's Guide to Cancer in Your 20's and 30's
"By page three of the introduction to Everything Changes, I wanted not only to devour the rest of the book, but I wanted to call Kairol up, get to know her, and (if we weren't both already married) see if I could sleep with her. Then the book got really good. It is, without doubt, the most forthright, emotionally sophisticated, and plain-old valuable book of its kind I've seen. The book defines and exemplifies what the verb 'fight' really to arm, prepare, and engage in sustained effort to gain a desired end. If that's your mission, this is your instruction manual."
—Evan Handler, actor and author of Time On Fire and It's Only The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive (and a guy who got well from acute myeloid leukemia in 1985) On a shoestring budget and with tape recorder in hand, Kairol Rosenthal emerged from treatment and hit the road in search of other twenty- and thirty-something cancer survivors. From the Big Apple to the Bible Belt, she dusted the sugarcoating off of the young adult cancer experience, exposing the gritty and compelling stories of twenty-five complete strangers. The men and women in Everything Changes confess their most vulnerable moments, revealing cancer experiences they never told anyone else—everything from what they thought about at night before going to bed to what they wish they could tell their lovers but were too afraid to. With irreverent flare and practical wisdom, Everything Changes includes stories, how-to resources, and expert advice on issues that are important for young adult cancer patients,
—Evan Handler, actor and author of Time On Fire and It's Only The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive (and a guy who got well from acute myeloid leukemia in 1985) On a shoestring budget and with tape recorder in hand, Kairol Rosenthal emerged from treatment and hit the road in search of other twenty- and thirty-something cancer survivors. From the Big Apple to the Bible Belt, she dusted the sugarcoating off of the young adult cancer experience, exposing the gritty and compelling stories of twenty-five complete strangers. The men and women in Everything Changes confess their most vulnerable moments, revealing cancer experiences they never told anyone else—everything from what they thought about at night before going to bed to what they wish they could tell their lovers but were too afraid to. With irreverent flare and practical wisdom, Everything Changes includes stories, how-to resources, and expert advice on issues that are important for young adult cancer patients,
256 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2009
10 people are currently reading
90 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
April 25, 2015
I just finished reading this and I'm having a huge moment of please can everyone read this book. First so there is more empathy, but mainly so that we get young people diagnosed before they hit advanced stages of cancer. And, seriously, can we fix the healthcare system!
And I want to write Kairol Rosenthal and say thank you for collecting these interviews and telling the patients' stories, because I feel how they feel, and it's comforting to know I'm not the only one.
And I want to write Kairol Rosenthal and say thank you for collecting these interviews and telling the patients' stories, because I feel how they feel, and it's comforting to know I'm not the only one.
March 7, 2009
I haven’t done much reading since beginning cancer treatments, but it didn’t take much motivation to breeze through “Everything Changes,” a series of interviews with cancer patients in their 20s and 30s. There are quite a few personal biographies of having cancer in this age group, but I haven’t read anything that truly captures the entire breadth of the experience like this book does. Several times I actually had tears in my eyes, because I felt understood in a way those who are not going through this experience can provide. The author, Kairol Rosenthal, writes with a good deal of humor, but doesn’t shy away from the difficult moments, and the grief for those interviewees who ultimately lost their battle with cancer. She also expresses some righteous anger at the injustices young adult cancer patients have to fight, particularly lack of access to insurance and quality healthcare, but also the lack of clinical trials and research geared to the unique physiologies of patients in this age range. I certainly felt inspired to be a more assertive advocate for myself, and once done with treatment, for undergraduates and graduate students who almost always lose their health insurance when this illness requires them to take a leave of absence from their classes. This book also provides a very comprehensive list of various medical, legal, and healthcare resources that would serve as a great place to start for anyone with cancer. If you are interested in gaining insight into the experience of having cancer under 40, or know someone in this age range who has been diagnosed with cancer, this book should be in the number 1 spot on your list. I really can’t recommended it highly enough.
April 22, 2011
Not the best writing style, but the content was great. Helped me to better understand cancer and all the side effects. Whew! Impressive strengths, weaknesses, and straight-up honesty about this disease.
January 1, 2010
Very good, alhtough at times too negative. I'm not asking for a warm, fuzzy cancer book, but it would be nice to point out some of the positives that young adult cancer patients have--supportive friend networks, better knowledge of resources and how to access them, and, of course, time.
January 13, 2017
Not a bad resource when you live in a place that doesn't have a young cancer group and you're looking for some shared experience. Comes from an angle of the younger and underinsured, which made me feel quite fortunate.
September 8, 2015
This book, written by a woman with incurable thyroid cancer, weaves together her interviews with 25 young adults with cancer and resources that address the problems specific to young adults with cancer.
Reading this book is like talking to a cool, experienced friend who has your best interest at heart, and wants to share a few things that might make your life easier.
STATISTICS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF YOUNG ADULT CANCER
Many young adult cancer patients are diagnosed at more progressed stages of cancer, both because their symptoms are frequently dismissed by doctors and because they often do not have access to health insurance.
70,000 young adults in their twenties and thirties are diagnosed with cancer in the United States each year.
22% young adult cancer patients will not survive cancer.
Unlike pediatric and older adult cancer, the survival rate for young adult cancer has not improved in over 30 years. Nationally, the five-year survival rate among 20- to 39-yearolds has been stuck at 70% since 1986.This is partly caused by the lack of young adult participation in clinical trials. While over 60% of pediatric patients participate in clinical trials, only 2% of twenty- and thirty-something patients participate.
Know that there are very few known causes of cancer during the early adulthood, and that it just happens, regardless of the health of the person." -Archie Bleyer, MD
"Oncologists are notorious for overlooking young adults as participants in clinical trials." --Kairol Rosenthal.
There are virtually no clinical trials exclusively for eighteen-to-thirty-nine-year-olds, but young adults can participate in clinical trials written for the eighteen-to-sixty-five age range. Young adults
Before starting treatment, young adults should pursue a service to preserve their future fertility options. For men, sperm banking is recommended. A woman's eggs can be harvested, but eggs don't survive well unless immediately fertilized and then frozen. Women can sometimes have their ovaries relocated to remove and protect them from a field of radiation.
I skimmed through sections on being uninsured, dating, seeking new employment, and being gay with cancer because they aren't relevant to my situation, but would encourage any young adult with cancer to read this book for pointers on all kinds of cancer/life stuff.
ATTITUDES OF YOUNG ADULTS WITH CANCER:
Once a young adult has been diagnosed with cancer, even if they are cured, they can never again be as innocent and carefree as their friends about health insurance coverage and jobs.
Body image, dating, and relationships can be very difficult for singles with cancer.
Serious relationships can be challenging for young adults with cancer who have been forced to move back in with their parents.
Young adult cancer patients and their spouses will never again be the people they were before thier diagnosis. Those people are gone. Cancer makes you into a different person in a major way.
A woman with a rare cancer spoke of feeling alone because no one she knew or that anyone she knew was acqauinted with had that type of cancer. She wished that she had a common cancer so that people could say, "Oh, yeah, so-and-so that I know had that."
A honest young man described in the chapter called "Malignant and Indignant" described the world-renowned hospital M.D. Anderson as the "cancer factory."
There is a concept called "magical thinking" where people think that if they talk about something bad that could happen, then it means that it is going to happen. That thinking stops people from having some really important conversations.
"....having cancer does not necessarily make someone a nice or interesting person." - Kairol Rosenthal.
"I don't think there is any reason I got cancer. I don't think it is because I deserve it, or am going to learn from it. I think it is bad luck, bad genes, or a toxic environment." -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes.
"People at work say how strong I was and they couldn't handle cancer if it was them. I probably thought that I couldn't handle it either, but when you are faced with it, what choice do you have?" -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes.
A highly devout Christian named Richard explains how he processes and prays about his Stage IV cancer.
enviroparanoia
"A lot of people try to build you up emotionally with false cheeriness. I just want someone to say, 'This really, really sucks.'" -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes. '
"About 25% of all cancer patients suffer from clinical depression."
"Contrary to popular opinion, large clinical trials (most notably, the Emotional Well-Being Study conducted in 2007 at the University of Pennsylvania with more than a thousand patients) have proved that emotions are not linked to cancer outcomes."
"Although depression, anxiety, and other 'negative' thoughts will not cause your cancer to grow or hasten your death, they do make for a poor quality of life and should be addressed."
"If simply expressing our emotions was a viable method of cancer prevention, I'd be overjoyed never to have a pap-smear or breast exam again, and I could check colonoscopies off my 'after fifty' to-do list; the government would have justification for its decreases in the National Cancer Institute funding; and my inbox would not be clogged with pledge forms from women in pink walking for the cure." -Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
"....if a broken heart caused cancer, I don't know a woman in the world who would not have been diagnosed by her mid-twenties." -Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
College students with cancer have to stay enrolled in college full-time so that they can remain on their parent's health insurance policy.
"Other people are overly postitive, saying, "You'll be fine, you'll get through it.' But when I don't feel good, I want someone to feel sorry for me sometimes or understand that this is really hard." -Mary Ann in an interview with Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
ON RELIGION AND YOUNG ADULT CANCER:
Richard Acker, a 36-year old environmental lawyer and Evangelical Christian with Stage IV colon cancer. Married father of a 10-month old daughter.
"I've seen the wonderful things it [my cancer] has caused people to do." -Richard Acker
"I believe that there are times when it is appropriate to receive help, just as there are times when it is appropriate to give help. If you ever refuse to receive, you are unnecessarily putting a barrier between yourself and the love of others. It's normal for humans to live in communities where there is love and relationshipand receiveing is just as important a part of being in that community as giving is. It is happier for us to be supported and uplifted by others, rather than being along wrestling with something very hard on our own and saying, "I'm not going to share this cancer struggle."
"I've had friends say, 'Richard, it's not fair that you would get cancer. You are young; You have a young child; You are doing good things; Someone else should get cancer; Someone whose life is not as productive.' My feeling is, fairness doesn't enter into the question of who gets cancer. The bible says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. There is no one person who is more of less deserving of cancer than any other."
Richard Acker continues, "I don't think that God sent the cancer. I think that bad things don't come from God. They come from the fact that we live in a fallen world where there is sin and disease and death, and God uses these bad things and turns them into good things. So perhaps the reason 'Why me?' is that God sees a good opportunity to be glorified through me. If, for example, God gives me a miraculous healing, I plan to talk about it. I plan to say, 'God did something great in my life.' If I can bring people to faith and can open up their eyes to the magnificent character of a loving God through that, then that was totally worth it. My cancer will be used for good, despite the fact that cancer itself is a bad thing, and if given the choice I would certainly choose not to have it."
"....My prognosis is not certain. The extent of the disease is hard to determine, even the best scans only give you an approximation. Things come and go without explanation. I try to understand what I can to make informed decisions about my treatment, of course, but I recognize my limits and know this is something that I will never be able to grapple with entirely, and I'm not going to knock my head against a wall trying. Instead, I will take the elements that are beyond my control and turn them over to God--which is both scary and comforting. It's scary for me to let go of something, but it is also comforting to say, 'God, you could control this, so I leave it in your hands.'"
"....I say, 'Father, what we can do here on earth is pretty limited, so I need a miracle of healing. You created everything, so this is pretty trivial in comparison.'"
I winced when I read Richard's comment: "One of the biggest reasons I want to live is to save my family from pain and loneliness."
"....Cancer is complex by its physical nature, where the cells divide so rapidly that you can't get a handle on them. Not many diseases are like that; most others retain the same characteristics throughout the disease. They don't go through ten generations within your body so one medication starts working and then stops. It is somewhat discouraging that we haven't made more advances against cancer, other than early detection and treatment, but it is also not surprising since its rapid reproduction makes it so hard to nail down." -Richard Acker.
Sadly, Richard Acker passed away from cancer before this book was published. I have quoted him extensively here because his views on God and cancer have comforted me.
RESOURCES FOR YOUNG ADULT CANCER:
MyPlanet.planetcancer.org has an active online forum for parenting with cancer for moms and dads with cancer.
www.waitingroommagazine.com an uncensored, online-only publication for young adults with cancer.
http://www.getpalliativecare.org/ explains the resources available for pain-management care. Palliative care is not Hospice care.
Book called "Share the Care: How to Organize a Group to Care for Someone Who Is Seriously Ill"
ADVOCACY
"Signing petitions and telling your healthcare story on action blogs are good fun, but aids on Capitol Hill advise that these forms of active are not effective in persuading lawmakers. The most effective action you can take is to meet in person with your elected officials. The second most effective action is letter writing followed up with a phone call." -Kairol Rosenthal in Everything Changes.
RESEARCH
"Use consumer health libraries. These libraries are often based in university hospitals, and most are open to the general public. Can't find one locally? Contact Stanford Health Library for free medical information searches online at healthlibrary@stanfordmed.org, or call 800-296-5177."
Online medical dictionary: Medlineplus.gov or Dictionary of Cancer Terms on cancer.gov
Online medical encyclopedia: illustrated A.D.A.M. Medical encyclopedia at medlineplus.gov
"Cancer Epidemiology in Older Adolescents and Young Adults 15 to 29 Years of Age, including SEER Incidence and Survival: 1975 - 2000" can be downloaded from www.seer.cancer.gov. Click on "Publications" and then on "Monographs."
"Closing the Gap: A Strategic Plan" by the Adolescent and Young Oncology Progress Review Group. www.livestrong.org. Enter into the search box "Closing the Gap: A Strategic Plan."
SPECIFIC POPULATIONS RESEARCH: Do a Web search for "cancer" and your ethnicity, nationality, race, religion, sexual orientation, geographic location, and other personal identifiers. Add your cancer type or "young adult" or "early onset" to the search.
Reading this book is like talking to a cool, experienced friend who has your best interest at heart, and wants to share a few things that might make your life easier.
STATISTICS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF YOUNG ADULT CANCER
Many young adult cancer patients are diagnosed at more progressed stages of cancer, both because their symptoms are frequently dismissed by doctors and because they often do not have access to health insurance.
70,000 young adults in their twenties and thirties are diagnosed with cancer in the United States each year.
22% young adult cancer patients will not survive cancer.
Unlike pediatric and older adult cancer, the survival rate for young adult cancer has not improved in over 30 years. Nationally, the five-year survival rate among 20- to 39-yearolds has been stuck at 70% since 1986.This is partly caused by the lack of young adult participation in clinical trials. While over 60% of pediatric patients participate in clinical trials, only 2% of twenty- and thirty-something patients participate.
Know that there are very few known causes of cancer during the early adulthood, and that it just happens, regardless of the health of the person." -Archie Bleyer, MD
"Oncologists are notorious for overlooking young adults as participants in clinical trials." --Kairol Rosenthal.
There are virtually no clinical trials exclusively for eighteen-to-thirty-nine-year-olds, but young adults can participate in clinical trials written for the eighteen-to-sixty-five age range. Young adults
Before starting treatment, young adults should pursue a service to preserve their future fertility options. For men, sperm banking is recommended. A woman's eggs can be harvested, but eggs don't survive well unless immediately fertilized and then frozen. Women can sometimes have their ovaries relocated to remove and protect them from a field of radiation.
I skimmed through sections on being uninsured, dating, seeking new employment, and being gay with cancer because they aren't relevant to my situation, but would encourage any young adult with cancer to read this book for pointers on all kinds of cancer/life stuff.
ATTITUDES OF YOUNG ADULTS WITH CANCER:
Once a young adult has been diagnosed with cancer, even if they are cured, they can never again be as innocent and carefree as their friends about health insurance coverage and jobs.
Body image, dating, and relationships can be very difficult for singles with cancer.
Serious relationships can be challenging for young adults with cancer who have been forced to move back in with their parents.
Young adult cancer patients and their spouses will never again be the people they were before thier diagnosis. Those people are gone. Cancer makes you into a different person in a major way.
A woman with a rare cancer spoke of feeling alone because no one she knew or that anyone she knew was acqauinted with had that type of cancer. She wished that she had a common cancer so that people could say, "Oh, yeah, so-and-so that I know had that."
A honest young man described in the chapter called "Malignant and Indignant" described the world-renowned hospital M.D. Anderson as the "cancer factory."
There is a concept called "magical thinking" where people think that if they talk about something bad that could happen, then it means that it is going to happen. That thinking stops people from having some really important conversations.
"....having cancer does not necessarily make someone a nice or interesting person." - Kairol Rosenthal.
"I don't think there is any reason I got cancer. I don't think it is because I deserve it, or am going to learn from it. I think it is bad luck, bad genes, or a toxic environment." -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes.
"People at work say how strong I was and they couldn't handle cancer if it was them. I probably thought that I couldn't handle it either, but when you are faced with it, what choice do you have?" -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes.
A highly devout Christian named Richard explains how he processes and prays about his Stage IV cancer.
enviroparanoia
"A lot of people try to build you up emotionally with false cheeriness. I just want someone to say, 'This really, really sucks.'" -Jill Woods in interview for Kairol Rosenthal's book, Everything Changes. '
"About 25% of all cancer patients suffer from clinical depression."
"Contrary to popular opinion, large clinical trials (most notably, the Emotional Well-Being Study conducted in 2007 at the University of Pennsylvania with more than a thousand patients) have proved that emotions are not linked to cancer outcomes."
"Although depression, anxiety, and other 'negative' thoughts will not cause your cancer to grow or hasten your death, they do make for a poor quality of life and should be addressed."
"If simply expressing our emotions was a viable method of cancer prevention, I'd be overjoyed never to have a pap-smear or breast exam again, and I could check colonoscopies off my 'after fifty' to-do list; the government would have justification for its decreases in the National Cancer Institute funding; and my inbox would not be clogged with pledge forms from women in pink walking for the cure." -Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
"....if a broken heart caused cancer, I don't know a woman in the world who would not have been diagnosed by her mid-twenties." -Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
College students with cancer have to stay enrolled in college full-time so that they can remain on their parent's health insurance policy.
"Other people are overly postitive, saying, "You'll be fine, you'll get through it.' But when I don't feel good, I want someone to feel sorry for me sometimes or understand that this is really hard." -Mary Ann in an interview with Kairol Rosenthal in 'Everything Changes.
ON RELIGION AND YOUNG ADULT CANCER:
Richard Acker, a 36-year old environmental lawyer and Evangelical Christian with Stage IV colon cancer. Married father of a 10-month old daughter.
"I've seen the wonderful things it [my cancer] has caused people to do." -Richard Acker
"I believe that there are times when it is appropriate to receive help, just as there are times when it is appropriate to give help. If you ever refuse to receive, you are unnecessarily putting a barrier between yourself and the love of others. It's normal for humans to live in communities where there is love and relationshipand receiveing is just as important a part of being in that community as giving is. It is happier for us to be supported and uplifted by others, rather than being along wrestling with something very hard on our own and saying, "I'm not going to share this cancer struggle."
"I've had friends say, 'Richard, it's not fair that you would get cancer. You are young; You have a young child; You are doing good things; Someone else should get cancer; Someone whose life is not as productive.' My feeling is, fairness doesn't enter into the question of who gets cancer. The bible says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. There is no one person who is more of less deserving of cancer than any other."
Richard Acker continues, "I don't think that God sent the cancer. I think that bad things don't come from God. They come from the fact that we live in a fallen world where there is sin and disease and death, and God uses these bad things and turns them into good things. So perhaps the reason 'Why me?' is that God sees a good opportunity to be glorified through me. If, for example, God gives me a miraculous healing, I plan to talk about it. I plan to say, 'God did something great in my life.' If I can bring people to faith and can open up their eyes to the magnificent character of a loving God through that, then that was totally worth it. My cancer will be used for good, despite the fact that cancer itself is a bad thing, and if given the choice I would certainly choose not to have it."
"....My prognosis is not certain. The extent of the disease is hard to determine, even the best scans only give you an approximation. Things come and go without explanation. I try to understand what I can to make informed decisions about my treatment, of course, but I recognize my limits and know this is something that I will never be able to grapple with entirely, and I'm not going to knock my head against a wall trying. Instead, I will take the elements that are beyond my control and turn them over to God--which is both scary and comforting. It's scary for me to let go of something, but it is also comforting to say, 'God, you could control this, so I leave it in your hands.'"
"....I say, 'Father, what we can do here on earth is pretty limited, so I need a miracle of healing. You created everything, so this is pretty trivial in comparison.'"
I winced when I read Richard's comment: "One of the biggest reasons I want to live is to save my family from pain and loneliness."
"....Cancer is complex by its physical nature, where the cells divide so rapidly that you can't get a handle on them. Not many diseases are like that; most others retain the same characteristics throughout the disease. They don't go through ten generations within your body so one medication starts working and then stops. It is somewhat discouraging that we haven't made more advances against cancer, other than early detection and treatment, but it is also not surprising since its rapid reproduction makes it so hard to nail down." -Richard Acker.
Sadly, Richard Acker passed away from cancer before this book was published. I have quoted him extensively here because his views on God and cancer have comforted me.
RESOURCES FOR YOUNG ADULT CANCER:
MyPlanet.planetcancer.org has an active online forum for parenting with cancer for moms and dads with cancer.
www.waitingroommagazine.com an uncensored, online-only publication for young adults with cancer.
http://www.getpalliativecare.org/ explains the resources available for pain-management care. Palliative care is not Hospice care.
Book called "Share the Care: How to Organize a Group to Care for Someone Who Is Seriously Ill"
ADVOCACY
"Signing petitions and telling your healthcare story on action blogs are good fun, but aids on Capitol Hill advise that these forms of active are not effective in persuading lawmakers. The most effective action you can take is to meet in person with your elected officials. The second most effective action is letter writing followed up with a phone call." -Kairol Rosenthal in Everything Changes.
RESEARCH
"Use consumer health libraries. These libraries are often based in university hospitals, and most are open to the general public. Can't find one locally? Contact Stanford Health Library for free medical information searches online at healthlibrary@stanfordmed.org, or call 800-296-5177."
Online medical dictionary: Medlineplus.gov or Dictionary of Cancer Terms on cancer.gov
Online medical encyclopedia: illustrated A.D.A.M. Medical encyclopedia at medlineplus.gov
"Cancer Epidemiology in Older Adolescents and Young Adults 15 to 29 Years of Age, including SEER Incidence and Survival: 1975 - 2000" can be downloaded from www.seer.cancer.gov. Click on "Publications" and then on "Monographs."
"Closing the Gap: A Strategic Plan" by the Adolescent and Young Oncology Progress Review Group. www.livestrong.org. Enter into the search box "Closing the Gap: A Strategic Plan."
SPECIFIC POPULATIONS RESEARCH: Do a Web search for "cancer" and your ethnicity, nationality, race, religion, sexual orientation, geographic location, and other personal identifiers. Add your cancer type or "young adult" or "early onset" to the search.
December 31, 2022
If you look across the young adults with cancer landscape, the lack of literature is depressing. I searched high and low for a book that would make me feel less alone. I received this book as a gift and I am so grateful. This is definitely a worthwhile read.
Rosenthal manages to combine really helpful tips with personal stories that are relatable. She covers some deep and difficult topics (e.g. dating, relationships, insurance) while still managing to keep a personal, conversational tone, which I think is honestly one of the strengths of this book.
Rosenthal inspires readers to be advocates for themselves and I found this book to be a relief in that regard. It wasn’t constant toxic positivity like a lot of cancer books there. It is a more realistic depiction of what experiencing cancer in your 20s and 30s feels like.
Some patient stories made me cry, but honestly this is the one book that I think is super useful to read if you find yourself facing a diagnosis that feels heavy and insurmountable.
Rosenthal manages to combine really helpful tips with personal stories that are relatable. She covers some deep and difficult topics (e.g. dating, relationships, insurance) while still managing to keep a personal, conversational tone, which I think is honestly one of the strengths of this book.
Rosenthal inspires readers to be advocates for themselves and I found this book to be a relief in that regard. It wasn’t constant toxic positivity like a lot of cancer books there. It is a more realistic depiction of what experiencing cancer in your 20s and 30s feels like.
Some patient stories made me cry, but honestly this is the one book that I think is super useful to read if you find yourself facing a diagnosis that feels heavy and insurmountable.
August 24, 2018
3.5 stars
I liked many elements of this book, but mostly that it suited my cancer aesthetic. I appreciated that most of the interviewees shared my realistic outlook on cancer treatment and living with cancer. I also got a lot of interesting information about survival rates for young adults and how they have not increased at all in years.
The main issue with this book is that most of the resources provided are American resources. This isn't the fault of the author at all, but as a Canadian person, it's tough to find books like this that look at things from my contextual reality and a lot of the resources that the author gives were completely irrelevant to my situation. I would have appreciated a few more international resources, but I understand that that would have been practically impossible.
I liked many elements of this book, but mostly that it suited my cancer aesthetic. I appreciated that most of the interviewees shared my realistic outlook on cancer treatment and living with cancer. I also got a lot of interesting information about survival rates for young adults and how they have not increased at all in years.
The main issue with this book is that most of the resources provided are American resources. This isn't the fault of the author at all, but as a Canadian person, it's tough to find books like this that look at things from my contextual reality and a lot of the resources that the author gives were completely irrelevant to my situation. I would have appreciated a few more international resources, but I understand that that would have been practically impossible.
July 26, 2023
Reading this in 2023–I thought it’d be outdated, but wow so relevant. The interviews the author selected are some of the best thoughts I’ve read—raw, honest, real. And not in a shocking, dramatic survivor victory story kind of way. Just deep. With all the space for messiness, and totally unapologetic.
The resources sections are actually still really valuable. Links might be old/obsolete, but some of it is evergreen (and very good) and mostly it’s just super useful to be aware of the kinds of things that are out there that you can look for (plus so much more 14 years later.)
I will legitimately be rereading parts of this. Like my favorite things some of my cancer friends have written that just capture something and make me feel so understood, or make things feel possible, or give me permission. You know. How heavy things to read like this can also be so unbelievably refreshing.
The resources sections are actually still really valuable. Links might be old/obsolete, but some of it is evergreen (and very good) and mostly it’s just super useful to be aware of the kinds of things that are out there that you can look for (plus so much more 14 years later.)
I will legitimately be rereading parts of this. Like my favorite things some of my cancer friends have written that just capture something and make me feel so understood, or make things feel possible, or give me permission. You know. How heavy things to read like this can also be so unbelievably refreshing.
July 11, 2020
Valuable. Don't be put off by the weird Goodreads description. I'd highly recommend this book for people in this specific group.
August 28, 2016
I was diagnosed with cancer on April 14th of this year. I was given this book at the end of April by a co-worker of mine whose sister is the author. It took me a long time to read through it. I found the stories to be engaging and very close to my heart since I too, have experienced many of the struggles such as with work, overall well-being, being engaged, and battling cancer.
Filled with interviews of young adults in their 20s and 30s who tell their private stories in their battles with cancer, Rosenthal has put together a book that paints another picture of cancer. This is NOT "Chicken Soup for the Soul." This guide shares the darker thoughts and feelings along with tidbits of inspiration. It really opens the door to every aspect of cancer, especially expressing some righteous anger at the injustices young cancer patients have to fight through, particularly the lack of access to quality healthcare, clinical trials and research geared to the unique physiologies of patients in this age range. The book is also chock full of resources for self education, financial assistance, and dealing with the freak show that is the US health care system.
I'm a 29-year old breast cancer patient with the BRAC2 mutant gene, and I found great comfort in this book. It will give you an insight as to how lonely and private this crappy disease can be and how easily it can shift extroverted happy folks to emo types in a heartbeat, and why that's absolutely OK. It's nice to know that I'm not alone on my occasional visits to the dark side. Gritty, but a good read.
Filled with interviews of young adults in their 20s and 30s who tell their private stories in their battles with cancer, Rosenthal has put together a book that paints another picture of cancer. This is NOT "Chicken Soup for the Soul." This guide shares the darker thoughts and feelings along with tidbits of inspiration. It really opens the door to every aspect of cancer, especially expressing some righteous anger at the injustices young cancer patients have to fight through, particularly the lack of access to quality healthcare, clinical trials and research geared to the unique physiologies of patients in this age range. The book is also chock full of resources for self education, financial assistance, and dealing with the freak show that is the US health care system.
I'm a 29-year old breast cancer patient with the BRAC2 mutant gene, and I found great comfort in this book. It will give you an insight as to how lonely and private this crappy disease can be and how easily it can shift extroverted happy folks to emo types in a heartbeat, and why that's absolutely OK. It's nice to know that I'm not alone on my occasional visits to the dark side. Gritty, but a good read.
April 25, 2011
Being a cancer survivor myself and I could not have chosen a better book to read. I have not reached the point of long term remission yet, but with all of the interviews from young cancer patients it really helped me! The book is filled with interviews of young adults who tell their private stories in their battles with cancer. I found their experiences to be interesting, and very close to my heart since I too, had experienced many of their struggles such as with work, overall well-being, being engaged, and living with cancer. The writing style was not my favorite, however, it is so helpful.
I was diagnosed with stage four thyroid cancer right before I got engaged and have felt a lot of guilt! I felt so horrible that I put my family, friends, and my new husband through the cancer battle. I'm 26 and found great comfort in this book. It's nice to know that I'm not alone on my occasional visits to the dark side. Finally, some validation regarding my twisted sense of tumor humor. Everyone always told me that "At least you have the good cancer... at least they got it out" Well, honestly, thyroid cancer is not the good cancer, especially when it has moved to your lymphnodes and lungs. I might never get pregnant.. I could relapse... etc.... etc. The quote that stood out most to be from this book was, "The idea that there are 'good cancers to have' is a disgusting thought."
I think this book is an essential read for young cancer patients and loved ones.
I was diagnosed with stage four thyroid cancer right before I got engaged and have felt a lot of guilt! I felt so horrible that I put my family, friends, and my new husband through the cancer battle. I'm 26 and found great comfort in this book. It's nice to know that I'm not alone on my occasional visits to the dark side. Finally, some validation regarding my twisted sense of tumor humor. Everyone always told me that "At least you have the good cancer... at least they got it out" Well, honestly, thyroid cancer is not the good cancer, especially when it has moved to your lymphnodes and lungs. I might never get pregnant.. I could relapse... etc.... etc. The quote that stood out most to be from this book was, "The idea that there are 'good cancers to have' is a disgusting thought."
I think this book is an essential read for young cancer patients and loved ones.
August 20, 2009
I've just finished reading Kairol Rosenthal's new book "Everything Changes."
This is definitely NOT "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
It's not like any book on cancer I've ever read.
There are no stories in this book of people who conquered Everest, ran marathons or won the Tour de France in spite of a cancer diagnosis in their 20s or 30s.
No.
These are not the stories you might see profiled on Oprah.
But that's just the point.
Kairol has written a book that paints another picture of cancer.
These were not the stories that I was used to reading about in self-help style books focused on cancer.
But, I found them even more compelling - I wanted to hear more about how these young adults faced their cancer and their unique experiences:
* HollyAnna, a native woman who tells how she hid her melanoma from her friends, family, even her husband
* Amilca's tale - a new mother, consumed by her fear of cancer, first pushes her newborn son away. But her son then becomes her motivation to heal and push on.
* Geoff's story of life on the edge (chemo + extreme mountain biking)and how cancer forced him to face his drug addiction
I highly recommend adding this book to your library.
If you want to read my complete review, you can at
http://www.lifeemerging.com/blog/book...
This is definitely NOT "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
It's not like any book on cancer I've ever read.
There are no stories in this book of people who conquered Everest, ran marathons or won the Tour de France in spite of a cancer diagnosis in their 20s or 30s.
No.
These are not the stories you might see profiled on Oprah.
But that's just the point.
Kairol has written a book that paints another picture of cancer.
These were not the stories that I was used to reading about in self-help style books focused on cancer.
But, I found them even more compelling - I wanted to hear more about how these young adults faced their cancer and their unique experiences:
* HollyAnna, a native woman who tells how she hid her melanoma from her friends, family, even her husband
* Amilca's tale - a new mother, consumed by her fear of cancer, first pushes her newborn son away. But her son then becomes her motivation to heal and push on.
* Geoff's story of life on the edge (chemo + extreme mountain biking)and how cancer forced him to face his drug addiction
I highly recommend adding this book to your library.
If you want to read my complete review, you can at
http://www.lifeemerging.com/blog/book...
September 18, 2016
I suppose I should just say first off in this review that I do not have cancer.
At the time I was reading this book, I was a nursing assistant for a young woman with leukemia. I did not know much about this topic, and nursing school I was in wasn't assisting me much. I was walking through the bargain books at Ollie's when I picked this up for $1.99.
Unfortunately, my patient went into hospice shortly after and died before I got the chance to finish the book. I was sad and did not want to continue on in the story. 3 years later, I ended up with it on a list for a challenge and wrapped it up in 2 days.
I'm wafting before 4 and 5 stars for this, but I'm choosing a five. I could see how this would be wonderful for the patient, with tons of resources in payment and support organizations. As a healthcare provider, it was less than helpful. It did provide resources I could give any future patients.
I was looking for a book with the real heartfelt experience of cancer patients. I found that few and far between. Overall though, I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to all.
At the time I was reading this book, I was a nursing assistant for a young woman with leukemia. I did not know much about this topic, and nursing school I was in wasn't assisting me much. I was walking through the bargain books at Ollie's when I picked this up for $1.99.
Unfortunately, my patient went into hospice shortly after and died before I got the chance to finish the book. I was sad and did not want to continue on in the story. 3 years later, I ended up with it on a list for a challenge and wrapped it up in 2 days.
I'm wafting before 4 and 5 stars for this, but I'm choosing a five. I could see how this would be wonderful for the patient, with tons of resources in payment and support organizations. As a healthcare provider, it was less than helpful. It did provide resources I could give any future patients.
I was looking for a book with the real heartfelt experience of cancer patients. I found that few and far between. Overall though, I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to all.
July 19, 2009
I saw Kairol speak at an event I attended a few months. I immediately went out and bought the book but have been putting off reading it, save for a page here and a page there. I finally sat down and read it cover to cover today. The book made me immensely grateful to MGH - as many of the stories recounted the impersonal hospitals and cold, uncaring doctors and nurses - whereas I could not have felt more cared about than I did at MGH. The major underlying theme for me in moving past cancer is the fear of cancer coming back and the related waiting game, and this is addressed several times in Kairol's book. Unfortunately for me, in a lot of the stories recounted, the cancer did come back to the patients. Not exactly a ringing endorsement that I'm scared for nothing. I'm glad it read it though - I wish I had read it earlier, but the resources provided in the book would be incredibly helpful to anyone undergoing treatment.
June 4, 2010
While I was eating lunch today, I watched episode 2 of season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. After lunch and the episode were over, I debated between watching the next episode or picking up and reading Everything Changes: The Insider’s Guide to Cancer in your 20s and 30s. The book came on Tuesday but I’ve been hesitant to start reading it because I knew it would make me cry; the book was described to me as being like the chicken soup books but for the darker sides of things.
By page 21, I was already back to Buffy. And I don’t mean I decided to put the book down and watched that next episode. I mean the very first story is that of a 24 year old woman with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma who says: “I really wish there were people my age that I could relate to. Instead, my support group was Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs.”
continue reading at Carrie Actually
By page 21, I was already back to Buffy. And I don’t mean I decided to put the book down and watched that next episode. I mean the very first story is that of a 24 year old woman with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma who says: “I really wish there were people my age that I could relate to. Instead, my support group was Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs.”
continue reading at Carrie Actually
April 21, 2009
So honest it's raw, this book is the result of several interviews with young adult cancer patients--a group seriously overlooked in terms of reporting, research, and all too often diagnosis. Rosenthal brings us their voices full of complexity and even contradiction, confronting the biggest issues of living: religion, sex, marriage, family, fighting, and many others. It's heartfelt but also provides a great many facts and resources. A must-read for young adult patients of cancer or any chronic illness, and their friends, and family, and anyone who wants an inspiring but blunt look at living with disease.
April 20, 2009
A very honest read. To be a "Survivor" does not mean that you are automatically a "Lance Armstrong-like Superhuman". It explores issues that are normally not addressed by the pediatric population or the geriatric population like fertility, employment/career, dating, and relationships with friends/family. It is filled with many great resources/ links to websites. A must read, if you dealing with a cancer diagnosis in your 20s or 30s.
January 11, 2010
As a nurse, and someone who is completing her dissertation on young adult oncology, I thought this would give me a good patient perspective on some of my endeavors and had minimal expectations. It was real, gritty, thoughtful, and beautifully written. One of the most accurate accounts I've ever read. It was emotionally cathartic and a must read for providers as well as patients.
September 28, 2010
Having a best friend that was just diagnosed with cancer very unexpectedly, this book really made me appreciate just how hard it can be and in how many ways to deal with the realities of being young and being sick. I think that hopefully I learned something that will help me interact with her as effectively as possible as she deals with this.
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January 29, 2014There is a lack of information for cancer patients and caregivers who are young adults. This book does well to fill this gap. It made me laugh and cry. It was refreshing to read a book that dealt with this issue honestly. Author Kairol Rosenthal got cancer patients and survivors to be open and honest on a horrible subject. Great read for anyone in their 20s and 30s.
May 15, 2015
Such a good read, I would highly reccomend it to American citizens, as it had many help lines that you could get in touch with. I like how this isn't your typical cancer book, it has different story's, which a number of people talking about Their personal stuggle with cancer.
January 30, 2016
I have a full review of this book over at my blog! Check it out!
February 15, 2010
I found this book during an Amazon search and found it to be a really good read for people in their 20's & 30's dealing with cancer.
May 22, 2010
indispensable.
January 4, 2012
I wish this book had been available when I was diagnosed in 1997. It was really informative.
November 24, 2009
It's good. Not stellar, but better than your standard "inspirational" cancer book.
February 22, 2016
Reading this to help relate to a friend going through cancer - well written and informative!!
April 3, 2017
This book gives excellent insight to anyone dealing with cancer and the cluster-you-know-what-it-is. It tackles insurance, dating, being true to yourself, and much more. The book also includes a ton of great resources.
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