What do you think?
Rate this book
Chasing A Flawed Sun
★"Riveting" ★ ★"I Couldn't put it down!"★ ★"Not just another addiction memoir" ★ ★"Must read!" ★
The phrase “Heroin saved my life” could be considered both controversial and even offensive to some. However in “Chasing a flawed sun” the author shows us how after breaking him down and almost taking his life several times, the battle with the drug did just that. This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self discovery, and realization.It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind. What makes it so unique is the vulnerability and transparency with which it is told.
It is the goal of this story to not only to tell a vivid tale but to also share hope and experience with those who are actively struggling with their own demons, and to shed some light to those who have lost or are currently dealing with a loved one who is struggling with addiction, alcoholism and/or a lost sense of “self”.
Daniel McGhee lives and owns several businesses just outside of Baltimore, Md. He also owns a non-profit and works with addicts, children and homeless in his area. In his eighteen years in recovery he’s learned to enjoy writing, fitness, and traveling the world. He enjoys going to other countries either for relief work, exploration or just chasing the sun that never ceases.
"Chasing a Flawed Sun is in turns beautiful and brutal. The book is profoundly insightful for someone who has felt the sting of addiction. It is a difficult subject to write about, but McGhee has done a great service in writing this book. Not only has Daniel McGhee survived hell and lived to tell the tale, but his words are an inspiration and can act as a guide for people still traversing that dark path, in a memoir that is at once merciless and uplifting."
~Self-Publishing Review, ★★★★½
The phrase “Heroin saved my life” could be considered both controversial and even offensive to some. However in “Chasing a flawed sun” the author shows us how after breaking him down and almost taking his life several times, the battle with the drug did just that. This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self discovery, and realization.It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind. What makes it so unique is the vulnerability and transparency with which it is told.
It is the goal of this story to not only to tell a vivid tale but to also share hope and experience with those who are actively struggling with their own demons, and to shed some light to those who have lost or are currently dealing with a loved one who is struggling with addiction, alcoholism and/or a lost sense of “self”.
Daniel McGhee lives and owns several businesses just outside of Baltimore, Md. He also owns a non-profit and works with addicts, children and homeless in his area. In his eighteen years in recovery he’s learned to enjoy writing, fitness, and traveling the world. He enjoys going to other countries either for relief work, exploration or just chasing the sun that never ceases.
"Chasing a Flawed Sun is in turns beautiful and brutal. The book is profoundly insightful for someone who has felt the sting of addiction. It is a difficult subject to write about, but McGhee has done a great service in writing this book. Not only has Daniel McGhee survived hell and lived to tell the tale, but his words are an inspiration and can act as a guide for people still traversing that dark path, in a memoir that is at once merciless and uplifting."
~Self-Publishing Review, ★★★★½
460 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 6, 2019
672 people are currently reading
651 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
June 27, 2019
Daniel McGhee tells an honest and unapologetic truth about his years in active addiction. He didn't discriminate in which drugs he tried. If it was available to him he used it. This is his story as well as a glimpse into partial stories of those he was around.
I don't read many non fiction books but I liked this one. He didn't sugarcoat anything. Its a story I believe anyone touched by addiction in anyway should read.
I don't read many non fiction books but I liked this one. He didn't sugarcoat anything. Its a story I believe anyone touched by addiction in anyway should read.
June 23, 2019
This story and journey was very enlightening to me. It's something I've never experienced and I've never had anyone close go through this, so I would never acquire this type of understanding without reading this book. I finished this book in 5 days. I couldn't put it down. It did seem to get redundant if I'm being honest, but I think that was part of the artistic aspect of the book. Clearly as Danny is getting tired of the same old song and dance, I too, was reading it thinking "here he goes again". I could not wait to get to the point when he was released from his daily struggle with heroin. I knew it would come eventually because from knowing him, i knew he had been clean for years and years.
There are a few grammatical errors like "your " instead of "you're", but nothing too concerning.
I feel like this story would make a great movie. There's a lot of visuals and foreshadowing that would lend itself nicely to the movie screen.
The advice given and the experiences shared are personal and I really felt connected to Danny, though I've never been in the situation myself. It's an honest reflection of addiction, realization, responsibility, and how things can change for anyone willing to work hard.
There are a few grammatical errors like "your " instead of "you're", but nothing too concerning.
I feel like this story would make a great movie. There's a lot of visuals and foreshadowing that would lend itself nicely to the movie screen.
The advice given and the experiences shared are personal and I really felt connected to Danny, though I've never been in the situation myself. It's an honest reflection of addiction, realization, responsibility, and how things can change for anyone willing to work hard.
January 7, 2023
An absolute rollercoaster ride.
The author Danny allowed us to watch everything from a birds eye view of his journey. We watch him struggle with alcoholism that turns into an addiction to heroin, lots of theft, homelessness, extreme anger/violence, selling drugs, incarceration, rehab, and so much more. He had an amazing way with his words and kept me fully engaged in this whole book. It's absolutely incredible to watch him succeed in staying clean. But also all of the success that he has in his life now.
"I disliked myself from the very first time I realized that I could have feelings about my own self." -Danny McGhee.
The author Danny allowed us to watch everything from a birds eye view of his journey. We watch him struggle with alcoholism that turns into an addiction to heroin, lots of theft, homelessness, extreme anger/violence, selling drugs, incarceration, rehab, and so much more. He had an amazing way with his words and kept me fully engaged in this whole book. It's absolutely incredible to watch him succeed in staying clean. But also all of the success that he has in his life now.
"I disliked myself from the very first time I realized that I could have feelings about my own self." -Danny McGhee.
June 28, 2020
This could have been a compelling story of a dark journey. Instead every chapter had preachy interpretation by the author, imposing his present self into every inch of the story of his past self and thereby ruining any hope of story arc. This is not simply bouncing back and forth in time. I often like those stories. Instead this is "this was an awful thing I did," "junkies dont care about anyone," "I was such an awful person then," "I hurt a lot of people." All of that may be true, but trust a reader to get that out of the stories themselves, or include it more strongly into the story itself. It got better when I went to the next chapter once the tone changed so that I skipped all the moralizing.
April 9, 2024
This is a beautiful
Amazing heart wrenching book about addiction , and it’s ties to the Baltimore area … I loved it
Amazing heart wrenching book about addiction , and it’s ties to the Baltimore area … I loved it
April 11, 2022
Epic!
Could not put this down AT ALL!! This is honest, full and bleak at times, and above all else......an epic read! You get taken into his life and its like your right there living it with him. The ups and downs are a roller coaster of feelings and turmoil bubbling away. Loved every minute of this book!
Could not put this down AT ALL!! This is honest, full and bleak at times, and above all else......an epic read! You get taken into his life and its like your right there living it with him. The ups and downs are a roller coaster of feelings and turmoil bubbling away. Loved every minute of this book!
February 7, 2020
Amazing
Wow! What an amazing and heartfelt testimony! Thanks for sharing your journey! It was difficult to read at times because I could feel your pain and frustration. Many blessings for your future!
Wow! What an amazing and heartfelt testimony! Thanks for sharing your journey! It was difficult to read at times because I could feel your pain and frustration. Many blessings for your future!
Read
July 27, 2019Amazing
Finished the book and boy it was amazing. Ur such an inspiration and I'm very proud of u. God bless
Finished the book and boy it was amazing. Ur such an inspiration and I'm very proud of u. God bless
August 16, 2019
Raw and honest
I read this book in two days. It’s heartbreaking and inspiring and the best book I’ve read all year. The author lets you into the darkest parts of his life and I felt like I was experiencing the journey with him. The message is clear. It’s never too late and miracles do happen.
I read this book in two days. It’s heartbreaking and inspiring and the best book I’ve read all year. The author lets you into the darkest parts of his life and I felt like I was experiencing the journey with him. The message is clear. It’s never too late and miracles do happen.
December 24, 2025
Of all the books I've ever read, this is one of the most important to me. I really don't say that lightly.
I've been to rehab twice and, in my thirty-something years on earth, it's still the place where I have met some of the deepest, most genuinely kind souls I probably ever will. (You'll meet some assholes in rehab too, of course, but you'll also meet exceptional people.)
"How did you end up in rehab?" you may be wondering. Well it turns out that one of the only things my father was ever well enough to do for me was pass down his alcoholism and, though I now know he was also a life-long crack cocaine addict as well (along with a few of my aunts and uncles), rehab was the first time I ever really got to know some of the "junkies" and "crackheads" who share one manifestation of my own personal struggle with trauma and self-medicating.
That experience has meant the world to me and I've wondered a lot ever since about what kinds of wounds and shame they might have been carrying, what addiction looked like for them and how similar their wounds might be to mine. Though I've read a few other books about crack and heroin addiction ("Righteous Dopefiend" by Philippe Bourgois is an especially good one), this memoir is a profoundly more eye-opening look into the life and the soul of a drug addict (a heroin addict in this particular case) than anything else I've been able to find.
"I risk my life to come here," Daniel McGhee writes in the introduction, referring to his choice to revisit his most painful memories of active addiction. "I'm not being dramatic--it's as serious as it sounds. I risk my life to come here, to share these reflections with you, so let's not waste our time..."
The more I read the book, the more I started to think "oh... I get that." Although this is probably the kind of book you could ordinarily read in a day or two despite its length (if you had the time at least), it took me much longer to finish. It was a strange experience: I felt emotionally invested in the story but it was simultaneously painful to read at times. Still, the more I read, the more I began to more deeply understand just how much one smell, one memory or one temptation can be enough to bring back the cravings for someone like Daniel McGhee and reenslave him in the same miserable cycle he fought so much to escape.
A lay reader could be forgiven for wondering why on earth anyone would do something as crazy as inject heroin into their arm despite all the risks. They'd also be naive. The author started out in territory very familiar to me, except at an even earlier age: drinking to escape something inside of himself. He drank for reasons that I imagine a lot of young people do: to bury fears of inadequacy, to quiet his inner doubts and, in the case of a lot of young men i'm guessing, to feel more comfortable trying to establish a reputation as Mr. Tough Guy despite actually being a much kinder, more compassionate and much more *deep-thinking* person underneath the facade he felt compelled to project.
This passage from the last chapter of the book when the author describes some of his realizations in recovery really struck me: ".. those who I once saw as cool suddenly weren't so cool anymore. The hardcore addicts were weak, broken, and in pain. The dealers were feeding on the weakness of the sick, and the gangsters were just lost souls covering up their insecurities with toughness... All of those I had once thought were strong and tough were quite the opposite. I had been looking up to the wrong people the whole time."
I don't know if you can imagine this, especially given that I'm literally a colossal geek who writes book reports for fun, but I wasn't exactly popular in school. At any point. In fact I always felt like I was missing out on all the fun and joys that the cool kids got to experience with each other as I sat at home reading old-lady mystery novels weekend after weekend. So it was some relief (and a bit of a surprise) to read that Daniel experienced the same sense of alienation despite actually having been invited to all the cool kid parties, many of which he was kicked out of for getting too drunk and starting a fight.
Drinking to the point of getting in blackout fist fights every night, waking up to the embarrassment the next morning and drinking even more heavily the next night to forget the shame quickly became the norm for him. I guess I experienced something similar in college so I can understand how, once one risky behavior becomes normalized to you, others more easily follow. For Daniel, drinking every night easily led to doing raw ecstasy to impress a girl. Doing raw ecstasy with his new crush and her friends led to believing "this is normal? Sure, let's do ketamine now." Doing ketamine with his new but evasive lady friend eventually led him down the path to trying her absolute favorite drug, heroin. And the rest is history.
Why would a person keep injecting heroin? Three main reasons, from what I can gather:
1.) heroin feels like a pillow. The author compares it to the comforting, blissful warmth of the sun (hence the book's title) that can take every hurt you've ever felt completely away. At least *sometimes.* There's no surgeon general's warning on the baggies they sell in the hood, but I imagine if there were they would say "heroin may result in occasional euphoria if you're lucky, sometimes followed by feelings of intense shame. Side effects may include homelessness, jail time, financial ruin or death."
2.) you also apparently get extraordinarily sick when you withdraw from heroin. It becomes as important emotionally, physically and psychologically as food and water on a daily basis and, when you go too long without it, your body feels like it is literally dying. Intensely so.
3.) though you may wish you could quit heroin after your first few tries, as the author wished he could immediately, and begin to feel like the world's biggest piece of shit the more you lie, cheat and steal to get your next desperately needed fix, when you try to check into a rehab you may be told your urine is hot and you need to find a hospital to detox in first. Good luck if you have warrants out for your arrest (which you probably do if you are an addict and got caught shoplifting to fuel your daily supply) and can't risk being caught in certain facilities. The temptation to just say "fuck it" and try to escape into the sun once again must be ENORMOUS in such circumstances-- the more you've used, the more you have probably lost sight of the person you are beneath the addiction. (I can't imagine Daniel ever imagined during his years of active addiction that he was the kind of man who could ever write such an articulate, insightful and actually quite beautifully written book. Heroin makes you think you're a worthless piece of shit who should just keep using because you deserve to die as a junkie. It makes you forget everything you ever saw in yourself before addiction.)
The book might have answered one of the biggest questions I've always had: what does it take for a heroin addict to get clean? What is the secret? From what I can gather, the secret appears to just be enduring a lot of false starts, at least for most people. Slowly you begin to accept life on life's terms, promising yourself you won't get high again every time you reach a new low only to disappoint yourself and everyone else once again as you paradoxically slowly begin to absorb the fact that you are not in fact the world's biggest asshole, that you're actually quite nice if you give yourself the chance and that you have gifts just waiting to be discovered in a life beyond addiction.
"Ultimately, as crazy as it sounds, heroin saved my life," Daniel writes in the final chapter. "I was a lost soul, a savage who was hellbent on self-destruction, living at animalistic levels, with no respect for others' lives or property, including my own. Heroin eventually broke down every single wall I had erected around myself and brought me to my knees. The very walls I had built, convinced that I was protecting myself, were in reality only closing me in. Heroin made them all crumble and left me bare and naked, with only the breath in my lungs that it almost stole from me as well. With nothing else remaining, I looked into my own soul, and eventually reached out to God to save me. Nothing in my life taught me as many invaluable lessons as heroin did. It taught me empathy, humility, selflessness, integrity, and gratitude, among others."
Anywho, here is a link to an interview with the author if you want to learn more-- https://youtu.be/3Ds8JMUKt44?si=Zg6Qn.... I've watched a couple of his interviews since reading the book, and more than anything else I just loved seeing a person transform as they peel back the layers that were hidden by addiction, gradually discovering new parts of their deeper self that they never let themselves believe they were good enough to have. He has a follow-up memoir as well that I hope to read sometime soon about his life in recovery, so I'll share my thoughts on it once I get around to reading it. :)
I've been to rehab twice and, in my thirty-something years on earth, it's still the place where I have met some of the deepest, most genuinely kind souls I probably ever will. (You'll meet some assholes in rehab too, of course, but you'll also meet exceptional people.)
"How did you end up in rehab?" you may be wondering. Well it turns out that one of the only things my father was ever well enough to do for me was pass down his alcoholism and, though I now know he was also a life-long crack cocaine addict as well (along with a few of my aunts and uncles), rehab was the first time I ever really got to know some of the "junkies" and "crackheads" who share one manifestation of my own personal struggle with trauma and self-medicating.
That experience has meant the world to me and I've wondered a lot ever since about what kinds of wounds and shame they might have been carrying, what addiction looked like for them and how similar their wounds might be to mine. Though I've read a few other books about crack and heroin addiction ("Righteous Dopefiend" by Philippe Bourgois is an especially good one), this memoir is a profoundly more eye-opening look into the life and the soul of a drug addict (a heroin addict in this particular case) than anything else I've been able to find.
"I risk my life to come here," Daniel McGhee writes in the introduction, referring to his choice to revisit his most painful memories of active addiction. "I'm not being dramatic--it's as serious as it sounds. I risk my life to come here, to share these reflections with you, so let's not waste our time..."
The more I read the book, the more I started to think "oh... I get that." Although this is probably the kind of book you could ordinarily read in a day or two despite its length (if you had the time at least), it took me much longer to finish. It was a strange experience: I felt emotionally invested in the story but it was simultaneously painful to read at times. Still, the more I read, the more I began to more deeply understand just how much one smell, one memory or one temptation can be enough to bring back the cravings for someone like Daniel McGhee and reenslave him in the same miserable cycle he fought so much to escape.
A lay reader could be forgiven for wondering why on earth anyone would do something as crazy as inject heroin into their arm despite all the risks. They'd also be naive. The author started out in territory very familiar to me, except at an even earlier age: drinking to escape something inside of himself. He drank for reasons that I imagine a lot of young people do: to bury fears of inadequacy, to quiet his inner doubts and, in the case of a lot of young men i'm guessing, to feel more comfortable trying to establish a reputation as Mr. Tough Guy despite actually being a much kinder, more compassionate and much more *deep-thinking* person underneath the facade he felt compelled to project.
This passage from the last chapter of the book when the author describes some of his realizations in recovery really struck me: ".. those who I once saw as cool suddenly weren't so cool anymore. The hardcore addicts were weak, broken, and in pain. The dealers were feeding on the weakness of the sick, and the gangsters were just lost souls covering up their insecurities with toughness... All of those I had once thought were strong and tough were quite the opposite. I had been looking up to the wrong people the whole time."
I don't know if you can imagine this, especially given that I'm literally a colossal geek who writes book reports for fun, but I wasn't exactly popular in school. At any point. In fact I always felt like I was missing out on all the fun and joys that the cool kids got to experience with each other as I sat at home reading old-lady mystery novels weekend after weekend. So it was some relief (and a bit of a surprise) to read that Daniel experienced the same sense of alienation despite actually having been invited to all the cool kid parties, many of which he was kicked out of for getting too drunk and starting a fight.
Drinking to the point of getting in blackout fist fights every night, waking up to the embarrassment the next morning and drinking even more heavily the next night to forget the shame quickly became the norm for him. I guess I experienced something similar in college so I can understand how, once one risky behavior becomes normalized to you, others more easily follow. For Daniel, drinking every night easily led to doing raw ecstasy to impress a girl. Doing raw ecstasy with his new crush and her friends led to believing "this is normal? Sure, let's do ketamine now." Doing ketamine with his new but evasive lady friend eventually led him down the path to trying her absolute favorite drug, heroin. And the rest is history.
Why would a person keep injecting heroin? Three main reasons, from what I can gather:
1.) heroin feels like a pillow. The author compares it to the comforting, blissful warmth of the sun (hence the book's title) that can take every hurt you've ever felt completely away. At least *sometimes.* There's no surgeon general's warning on the baggies they sell in the hood, but I imagine if there were they would say "heroin may result in occasional euphoria if you're lucky, sometimes followed by feelings of intense shame. Side effects may include homelessness, jail time, financial ruin or death."
2.) you also apparently get extraordinarily sick when you withdraw from heroin. It becomes as important emotionally, physically and psychologically as food and water on a daily basis and, when you go too long without it, your body feels like it is literally dying. Intensely so.
3.) though you may wish you could quit heroin after your first few tries, as the author wished he could immediately, and begin to feel like the world's biggest piece of shit the more you lie, cheat and steal to get your next desperately needed fix, when you try to check into a rehab you may be told your urine is hot and you need to find a hospital to detox in first. Good luck if you have warrants out for your arrest (which you probably do if you are an addict and got caught shoplifting to fuel your daily supply) and can't risk being caught in certain facilities. The temptation to just say "fuck it" and try to escape into the sun once again must be ENORMOUS in such circumstances-- the more you've used, the more you have probably lost sight of the person you are beneath the addiction. (I can't imagine Daniel ever imagined during his years of active addiction that he was the kind of man who could ever write such an articulate, insightful and actually quite beautifully written book. Heroin makes you think you're a worthless piece of shit who should just keep using because you deserve to die as a junkie. It makes you forget everything you ever saw in yourself before addiction.)
The book might have answered one of the biggest questions I've always had: what does it take for a heroin addict to get clean? What is the secret? From what I can gather, the secret appears to just be enduring a lot of false starts, at least for most people. Slowly you begin to accept life on life's terms, promising yourself you won't get high again every time you reach a new low only to disappoint yourself and everyone else once again as you paradoxically slowly begin to absorb the fact that you are not in fact the world's biggest asshole, that you're actually quite nice if you give yourself the chance and that you have gifts just waiting to be discovered in a life beyond addiction.
"Ultimately, as crazy as it sounds, heroin saved my life," Daniel writes in the final chapter. "I was a lost soul, a savage who was hellbent on self-destruction, living at animalistic levels, with no respect for others' lives or property, including my own. Heroin eventually broke down every single wall I had erected around myself and brought me to my knees. The very walls I had built, convinced that I was protecting myself, were in reality only closing me in. Heroin made them all crumble and left me bare and naked, with only the breath in my lungs that it almost stole from me as well. With nothing else remaining, I looked into my own soul, and eventually reached out to God to save me. Nothing in my life taught me as many invaluable lessons as heroin did. It taught me empathy, humility, selflessness, integrity, and gratitude, among others."
Anywho, here is a link to an interview with the author if you want to learn more-- https://youtu.be/3Ds8JMUKt44?si=Zg6Qn.... I've watched a couple of his interviews since reading the book, and more than anything else I just loved seeing a person transform as they peel back the layers that were hidden by addiction, gradually discovering new parts of their deeper self that they never let themselves believe they were good enough to have. He has a follow-up memoir as well that I hope to read sometime soon about his life in recovery, so I'll share my thoughts on it once I get around to reading it. :)
July 4, 2019
Amazing
I read this book straight through. Our lives are definitely paralleled in certain areas for sure. This book is great!!!
I read this book straight through. Our lives are definitely paralleled in certain areas for sure. This book is great!!!
June 23, 2021
An absolute roller coaster!
Wow. I can't ever remember reading another book that took me through as many emotions as this one did. At times I didn't think I could continue reading because there were so many situations that Danny put himself into that seriously mad me angry and disgusted! I've read many books on addiction because my family has been affected by it and I try to educate myself on the disease but this one was so much more raw than any of the others. I found myself practically screaming at the pages and asking WTF? as Danny described one bad situation after another. Just when I thought he finally had it together he would fall backward again and reading was sometimes heartbreaking! Nonetheless, Danny had me rooting for his recovery every step of the way despite how mad I became at him for stooping as low as he did to get high. What I didn't realize until after I finished the book was that he did all of us none addicts a favor by being so candid about his misgivings. It helped me see how much drugs really do have such a pull that all morals are very easily forgotten on the road to "getting well". Danny, if you ever read this, I would like to say thank you for bearing your soul for the world to see in order to educate the rest of us. I'm very glad to hear that, after doing so much wrong, that you are now making things right, not just for yourself and your family, but for addicts that are still in the throws of their addiction. I cried so much while reading your story. I pray that you stay on your tightrope of recovery and only walk forward. I am so happy for your parents who finally have their son back after so many years of pain. This review is much longer than I anticipated but, honestly, I could write for days about Danny's story. If you have loved one suffering from addiction, you need to read this book. You will be surprised by how enlightening it is. May God bless you and your family, Danny. I hope you continue to find the sun.
Wow. I can't ever remember reading another book that took me through as many emotions as this one did. At times I didn't think I could continue reading because there were so many situations that Danny put himself into that seriously mad me angry and disgusted! I've read many books on addiction because my family has been affected by it and I try to educate myself on the disease but this one was so much more raw than any of the others. I found myself practically screaming at the pages and asking WTF? as Danny described one bad situation after another. Just when I thought he finally had it together he would fall backward again and reading was sometimes heartbreaking! Nonetheless, Danny had me rooting for his recovery every step of the way despite how mad I became at him for stooping as low as he did to get high. What I didn't realize until after I finished the book was that he did all of us none addicts a favor by being so candid about his misgivings. It helped me see how much drugs really do have such a pull that all morals are very easily forgotten on the road to "getting well". Danny, if you ever read this, I would like to say thank you for bearing your soul for the world to see in order to educate the rest of us. I'm very glad to hear that, after doing so much wrong, that you are now making things right, not just for yourself and your family, but for addicts that are still in the throws of their addiction. I cried so much while reading your story. I pray that you stay on your tightrope of recovery and only walk forward. I am so happy for your parents who finally have their son back after so many years of pain. This review is much longer than I anticipated but, honestly, I could write for days about Danny's story. If you have loved one suffering from addiction, you need to read this book. You will be surprised by how enlightening it is. May God bless you and your family, Danny. I hope you continue to find the sun.
January 1, 2020
My boyfriend grew up in this Baltimore area. After 3 decades of sobriety, crack and heroin took him out for another 10 year run. Now clean & sober 11 years, his story includes these same horrors sprinkled with humor that only addicts can relate to.
February 2, 2021
Wow. This book has been on my list for quite some time due to the local connection, but I did not expect to be gripped by this book like I was. As a person who has dispatched and responded to several overdoses in my years of public service, I could never relate to people in the plight of drug addiction. This book changed all that. You’ll feel every emotion towards the author, anger, sadness, relief, joy, hope, and so on. Not only that, you really feel for those he surrounded himself with, including his parents. This book is a definite must-read.
December 24, 2021
Amazing and uplifting story
Daniel's story is incredible and it is truly a miracle he is alive to tell it. Flawed Sun is not only about one person's struggle but also about the alarming chokehold that drugs have on our cities and children.
And now with fentanyl it is worse than ever and more kids are dying. Send this book to our leaders and hold them accountable.
Daniel's story is incredible and it is truly a miracle he is alive to tell it. Flawed Sun is not only about one person's struggle but also about the alarming chokehold that drugs have on our cities and children.
And now with fentanyl it is worse than ever and more kids are dying. Send this book to our leaders and hold them accountable.
March 9, 2022
2.5 stars. I really enjoy honest memoirs about drug addiction, but this one could have used some editing-could have easily been 100 pages shorter, yet still contain all of the necessary content. He had SO MANY "get out of jail free" chances-I just wonder how his situation would have been different if he'd been a Black man.
November 27, 2021
Powerful
Very powerful story of the grip addiction holds over the user. So happy to see that he made it through to the other side. I hope he stays on this path for the rest of his time here on earth. Well done sir.
Very powerful story of the grip addiction holds over the user. So happy to see that he made it through to the other side. I hope he stays on this path for the rest of his time here on earth. Well done sir.
February 20, 2022
A beautiful memoir. Really shed light on alcoholism turned heroin addiction. Pretty raw and difficult to read at some points, but truly depicts the depths and darkness of substance abuse. Would recommend!
April 26, 2020
Hmm
Good read, however, there wasn't much humility in this book. I enjoyed it for the most part, but there could have been more writing on the recovery process.
Good read, however, there wasn't much humility in this book. I enjoyed it for the most part, but there could have been more writing on the recovery process.
September 23, 2020
One huge war story with a sprinkling of recovery in the end.
November 29, 2021
This is a MUST READ memoir! Truly amazing how God saved his live(O.D) countless times and Daniel came to a point in his live where he discovered the real SON.
September 11, 2020
Chasing a Flawed Son by Daniel McGhee
This was an eye-opening, gut-wrenching, hard-to-but-must-read-book! It is the brutally honest story of the author’s life thus far in his 40-some years on earth, growing up near a heroin-infested Baltimore, MD. It includes many fairly detailed recountings of McGhee’s addictions, mainly heroin and alcohol. From a very early age, despite not having any family history of addictions, nor any hint of physical or sexual abuse growing up, Daniel McGhee seems to be drawn to trouble like a moth to a flame. He grew up in a fairly normal suburban middle-class family with parents who remained married and worked consistently, and two younger siblings, whom he only briefly mentions in the book. But for some inexplicable reason, he seems hell-bent on self-destruction from about the age of 14-15 on. The drug of choice just seemed to bounce around between violence, robbery, alcohol, heroin, cocaine, and sex. He has a very intense, extremely addictive, almost OCD personality. By the grace of God, he narrowly escaped death many times beyond what any human can expect, and is now a successful bail bondsmen in the same town he grew up in and trashed for many years. I grew up in a suburb of Baltimore that is not mentioned in this book at all. I knew heroin was a problem in Baltimore, and had heard that it had become more common especially with youth out in the suburbs, but I had no idea of its power or immensity or extension. I moved out of MD to FL about 20 years ago and have watched Baltimore further unravel along with the rest of the world (remember Freddie Gray’s death of 5 years ago?). In some sense after reading this book, it was like a lightbulb went off, and I said, “Ahhhh...now I see why Baltimore is what it is today.” I had no idea until reading this book just how corrupt every aspect of the problem is—from the police, the halfway houses, the de-tox enters, the methadone clinics, the detention centers, the jails, the courts, ETC. There is widespread deceit, bribery, delinquency, misconduct, criminality, etc in every one of those domains. And the punishments are clearly just slaps on the wrist, and proving to be very ineffective in deterring the addictions or solving the problems. It is incredibly sad! I taught school in the city for 8 years, and looking back, I am thankful I had as few incidents as I did with trouble. Baltimore really does have a lot of charm, but at this point, it is going to take cleaning up and re-hauling and re-building every one of these institutions and elements of the problem. The city is so dangerous it is hard to police there, and so the chaos continues... Despite being a VERY hard book to swallow, I am very appreciative that Daniel McGhee wrote it and shared his experiences with us all. I, for one, have a changed perspective because of it. I am so thankful that McGhee became a believer of Jesus Christ. I hope that he shares his story everywhere he goes. I think he could have a great impact and be a positive influence to youth caught in the same trap that he was, and also to parents in learning what to do and what not to do to help. Detention centers, church youth groups, de-tox centers, recovery groups—lots of audiences for this stuff! I would recommend this book for anyone with a loved one stuck in the addiction trap. I would also recommend it for anyone working in the fields of addiction, detox, or recovery. Maybe even EMT’s, nurses, and ER workers.
This was an eye-opening, gut-wrenching, hard-to-but-must-read-book! It is the brutally honest story of the author’s life thus far in his 40-some years on earth, growing up near a heroin-infested Baltimore, MD. It includes many fairly detailed recountings of McGhee’s addictions, mainly heroin and alcohol. From a very early age, despite not having any family history of addictions, nor any hint of physical or sexual abuse growing up, Daniel McGhee seems to be drawn to trouble like a moth to a flame. He grew up in a fairly normal suburban middle-class family with parents who remained married and worked consistently, and two younger siblings, whom he only briefly mentions in the book. But for some inexplicable reason, he seems hell-bent on self-destruction from about the age of 14-15 on. The drug of choice just seemed to bounce around between violence, robbery, alcohol, heroin, cocaine, and sex. He has a very intense, extremely addictive, almost OCD personality. By the grace of God, he narrowly escaped death many times beyond what any human can expect, and is now a successful bail bondsmen in the same town he grew up in and trashed for many years. I grew up in a suburb of Baltimore that is not mentioned in this book at all. I knew heroin was a problem in Baltimore, and had heard that it had become more common especially with youth out in the suburbs, but I had no idea of its power or immensity or extension. I moved out of MD to FL about 20 years ago and have watched Baltimore further unravel along with the rest of the world (remember Freddie Gray’s death of 5 years ago?). In some sense after reading this book, it was like a lightbulb went off, and I said, “Ahhhh...now I see why Baltimore is what it is today.” I had no idea until reading this book just how corrupt every aspect of the problem is—from the police, the halfway houses, the de-tox enters, the methadone clinics, the detention centers, the jails, the courts, ETC. There is widespread deceit, bribery, delinquency, misconduct, criminality, etc in every one of those domains. And the punishments are clearly just slaps on the wrist, and proving to be very ineffective in deterring the addictions or solving the problems. It is incredibly sad! I taught school in the city for 8 years, and looking back, I am thankful I had as few incidents as I did with trouble. Baltimore really does have a lot of charm, but at this point, it is going to take cleaning up and re-hauling and re-building every one of these institutions and elements of the problem. The city is so dangerous it is hard to police there, and so the chaos continues... Despite being a VERY hard book to swallow, I am very appreciative that Daniel McGhee wrote it and shared his experiences with us all. I, for one, have a changed perspective because of it. I am so thankful that McGhee became a believer of Jesus Christ. I hope that he shares his story everywhere he goes. I think he could have a great impact and be a positive influence to youth caught in the same trap that he was, and also to parents in learning what to do and what not to do to help. Detention centers, church youth groups, de-tox centers, recovery groups—lots of audiences for this stuff! I would recommend this book for anyone with a loved one stuck in the addiction trap. I would also recommend it for anyone working in the fields of addiction, detox, or recovery. Maybe even EMT’s, nurses, and ER workers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 1, 2020
I received this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. This book contains graphic language, sexual situations and violence.
Written by Daniel McGhee, Chasing a Flawed Sun follows the author's journey from adolescent trouble maker to full-blown addict. His descent into addiction is described in vivid detail. This book is narrated by Frank Gerard, who gives a strong, engaging performance. This is a must-read for those looking to explore the mindset and behavior of an addict.
Daniel had a quiet, emotional demeanor at a young age, but these were qualities that he came to despise. He started abusing alcohol whenever he could get his hands on it, and it caused him to be outspoken, energetic and violent. As his alcohol abuse turned into an addiction, he started numerous fights and assaulted strangers. Eventually friends and acquaintances introduced Daniel to harder substances, like cocaine and crack. He was willing to try anything that was made available to him, so it wasn't long before he started smoking heroin. His life took a drastic turn once he started injecting it. His entire goal in life became finding and consuming heroin. He moved through various jobs, robbed countless strangers, shoplifted, burglarized and assaulted all to support his high. Daniel made numerous attempts at recovery, but he continuously returned to heroin. It isn't until he's left with few options that he chooses to stick to a path of recovery and find freedom from addiction.
Daniel writes a fast-paced and engrossing book. His descriptions are vivid and detailed, and the conversations and interactions he has with family, friends, acquaintances and fellow addicts are believable. It is somewhat beyond belief to think that an addict with one focus could recall so many years of his life in such accurate detail. Even still, it makes for a story that's both thrilling and tragic. Around 13 hours of the 14 hour and seven minute duration are spent focusing on Daniel's addiction and relapse. It's a shame that more time wasn't spent on his recovery and the ten years leading up to the final chapter. Nonetheless, this book captures the addicted years of Daniel's life in vivid detail.
Frank Gerard narrates Chasing a Flawed Sun, and he provides a solid performance. He uses a unique voice for Daniel's character that's never grating or harsh. He adds a lot of emotional weight when appropriate, and his diction flows smoothly throughout. He adds a comforting tone to a book that deals with intense subjects. The recording itself has some issues. Occasionally a passage will change volume or tone. It sounds like these passages were added post-production because they don't flow with the rest of the narrative. Despite this, the narration never detracts from the story.
Chasing a Flawed Sun is a graphic and obscene depiction of one man's journey through darkness. If you're able to listen past the dialogue, language and disturbing violence, you'll find a story that's both heartbreaking and convicting.
Written by Daniel McGhee, Chasing a Flawed Sun follows the author's journey from adolescent trouble maker to full-blown addict. His descent into addiction is described in vivid detail. This book is narrated by Frank Gerard, who gives a strong, engaging performance. This is a must-read for those looking to explore the mindset and behavior of an addict.
Daniel had a quiet, emotional demeanor at a young age, but these were qualities that he came to despise. He started abusing alcohol whenever he could get his hands on it, and it caused him to be outspoken, energetic and violent. As his alcohol abuse turned into an addiction, he started numerous fights and assaulted strangers. Eventually friends and acquaintances introduced Daniel to harder substances, like cocaine and crack. He was willing to try anything that was made available to him, so it wasn't long before he started smoking heroin. His life took a drastic turn once he started injecting it. His entire goal in life became finding and consuming heroin. He moved through various jobs, robbed countless strangers, shoplifted, burglarized and assaulted all to support his high. Daniel made numerous attempts at recovery, but he continuously returned to heroin. It isn't until he's left with few options that he chooses to stick to a path of recovery and find freedom from addiction.
Daniel writes a fast-paced and engrossing book. His descriptions are vivid and detailed, and the conversations and interactions he has with family, friends, acquaintances and fellow addicts are believable. It is somewhat beyond belief to think that an addict with one focus could recall so many years of his life in such accurate detail. Even still, it makes for a story that's both thrilling and tragic. Around 13 hours of the 14 hour and seven minute duration are spent focusing on Daniel's addiction and relapse. It's a shame that more time wasn't spent on his recovery and the ten years leading up to the final chapter. Nonetheless, this book captures the addicted years of Daniel's life in vivid detail.
Frank Gerard narrates Chasing a Flawed Sun, and he provides a solid performance. He uses a unique voice for Daniel's character that's never grating or harsh. He adds a lot of emotional weight when appropriate, and his diction flows smoothly throughout. He adds a comforting tone to a book that deals with intense subjects. The recording itself has some issues. Occasionally a passage will change volume or tone. It sounds like these passages were added post-production because they don't flow with the rest of the narrative. Despite this, the narration never detracts from the story.
Chasing a Flawed Sun is a graphic and obscene depiction of one man's journey through darkness. If you're able to listen past the dialogue, language and disturbing violence, you'll find a story that's both heartbreaking and convicting.
October 5, 2023
Man, he was a little shit at times. I got incredibly uncomfortable with the “you my n*****” because it seems he still doesn’t get what was wrong with it! He repeatedly did it despite being asked not to. The matter of fact way things are stated show only marginal remorse and not for the correct reasons. He still seems to reveal in the violence and harm he caused others, almost as if they’re bragging rights. He had fun, despite the cost it came at. He did whatever he wanted and showed little remorse. “Glassware had supposedly broke” after multiple examples of breaking glassware. And all the bragging of how many times he got away with it!. He allegedly threw rocks at police and didn’t even wind up in jail? He just barely escaped getting locked up how many times?! This shit won’t add up.
The present day and past tense blurred together in a way that made it a confusing read. And again, little to no desire to change. Bragging about what a horrible person he was. Ugh. Talking about liking Latina women, and saying this one particular one wasn’t attractive. But he absolutely slept with her and used her. The way the relationship was depicted was so icky.
The end was also really preachy. All in all, I can’t can’t recommend iit. His attitude made it impossible to feel any compassion for him, and even after finding Jesus, he never took accountability for his actions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2020
Daniel McGhee in his book ‘Chasing a Flawed Sun’’ writes a narrative of life as a drug addict whose story is a living proof of how drug addiction is the root of all other evils. The book has a clear description of the different characters and the various situations that made the lead character get to where he was in life before he began his road to recovery.
The description does not revolve solely around the drug addiction and it’s direct effects. The reader is able to understand the thought process of the narrator and how the decision making process of a drug addict deteriorates over time. In addition to this, the process by which the relationship of a drug addict with his/her parents worsens is portrayed too.
Please read the full review on https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/vie...
The description does not revolve solely around the drug addiction and it’s direct effects. The reader is able to understand the thought process of the narrator and how the decision making process of a drug addict deteriorates over time. In addition to this, the process by which the relationship of a drug addict with his/her parents worsens is portrayed too.
Please read the full review on https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/vie...
January 24, 2023
I’ve enjoyed this book, it was brutally honest, to the point at times I found myself getting frustrated with how many chances the author had been given and how he threw them away constantly - as the author himself admitted to doing time and time again. I thought that the concept of heroin saving the author’s life was interesting and controversial, in a good way.
However, although I understand that the process of getting clean involves relapsing and detoxing, however many times it takes, I did find myself getting bored after a few times - not because I didn’t feel for the author, but because it was almost a copy & paste situation which I believed could have been shortened rather than described in detail again and again. I almost felt like skipping some of the sentences - but at the same time, maybe I was just rushing and rooting for a happy ending.
However, although I understand that the process of getting clean involves relapsing and detoxing, however many times it takes, I did find myself getting bored after a few times - not because I didn’t feel for the author, but because it was almost a copy & paste situation which I believed could have been shortened rather than described in detail again and again. I almost felt like skipping some of the sentences - but at the same time, maybe I was just rushing and rooting for a happy ending.
September 18, 2019
I give this four stars only because he did a fairly decent job of writing about his descent into hell from a very young age even though his inability, ad nauseum, to conjugate "to lie" drove me to distraction. And the crazy thing is he uses the wrong tense - and even a tense of to lie that doesn't even exist -repeatedly throughout his writing. So there's that.
In any case, this is a book you won't put down too many times before finishing it. And if you're familiar with Harford and Baltimore County, and East and West Baltimore in the city, you'll find his account of those drug neighborhoods to be quite distressing and depressing. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)
In any case, this is a book you won't put down too many times before finishing it. And if you're familiar with Harford and Baltimore County, and East and West Baltimore in the city, you'll find his account of those drug neighborhoods to be quite distressing and depressing. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)
May 15, 2020
I have read several memoirs on Addiction. Daniel's story was well written and very moving. I liked that he went into detail in both his days of use, and the struggle through several attempts at recovery. Many of the books I have read do not focus on how difficult the total recovery process can be and the multiple attempts and struggle. The grit of the days on the street and in and out of jail is amazing to read and well-detailed for a reader that hasn't had experience in those types of situations, but he puts you right there like you can see it with your own eyes, and brought me to the brink of tears several times. I thank Daniel for putting his experience on paper for others and am happy this story ended in a positive outcome for him and his family.
May 29, 2021
Danny did an amazing job capturing his past and struggles with his addictions in this gripping book. It was definitely a page turner. I couldn't put it down. The book was so raw and eye opening.
I've always disagreed with the statement "addiction is a disease", but after reading this book, through Danny's thoughts and memories, I now agree. Danny wrote in the most perfect way to explain what goes on in the mind of an addict.
This book is a perfect read for someone that is or was struggling with addiction. It's also great for someone that knows an addict and wants to understand it more.
Thank you Danny for telling us your story. Good luck with everything in life and God Bless. 🙏
I've always disagreed with the statement "addiction is a disease", but after reading this book, through Danny's thoughts and memories, I now agree. Danny wrote in the most perfect way to explain what goes on in the mind of an addict.
This book is a perfect read for someone that is or was struggling with addiction. It's also great for someone that knows an addict and wants to understand it more.
Thank you Danny for telling us your story. Good luck with everything in life and God Bless. 🙏
May 22, 2022
Excellent
Wow! I almost read entire book right through! It was a roller coaster of a ride. So many times I had wanted to be next to Danny to drag him away from bad people and situations the mom in me. I jumped for joy when they let him go and he wasn't arrested. I was happy for him when the judge gave him chances. I was getting scared toward the end of book. I didn't know if he wrote the book from prison, if he was sentenced to 14 years. I'm so glad that he has been successful in his quest for sobriety! I believe Gods hand was on him the whole time. I pray that God's presence remains with him forever!
Wow! I almost read entire book right through! It was a roller coaster of a ride. So many times I had wanted to be next to Danny to drag him away from bad people and situations the mom in me. I jumped for joy when they let him go and he wasn't arrested. I was happy for him when the judge gave him chances. I was getting scared toward the end of book. I didn't know if he wrote the book from prison, if he was sentenced to 14 years. I'm so glad that he has been successful in his quest for sobriety! I believe Gods hand was on him the whole time. I pray that God's presence remains with him forever!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews