The war of the Wenuses

by Charles Larcom Graves, Edward Verrall Lucas

"No one would have believed in the first years of the twentieth century that men and modistes on this planet were being watched by intelligences greater than woman's and yet as ambitious as her own. With infinite complacency maids and matrons went to and fro over London, serene in the assurance of their empire over man. It is possible that the mysticetus does the same. Not one of them gave a thought to Wenus as a source of danger, or thought of it only to dismiss the idea of active rivalry upon it as impossible or improbable. Yet across the gulf of space astral women, with eyes that are to the eyes of English women as diamonds are to boot-buttons, astral women, with hearts vast and warm and sympathetic, were regarding Butterick's with envy, Peter Robinson's with jealousy, and Whiteley's with insatiable yearning, and slowly and surely maturing their plans for a grand inter-stellar campaign."

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction, Satire

140 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1898

About the author

Charles Larcom Graves (1856 - 1944) was born in Dublin, Ireland. He married Alice Emma Grey on 30 July 1889, in Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, London, England. They were the parents of at least 2 sons.
Graves was a frequent contributor to Punch magazine. He died on 18 April 1944, in Carlisle, Cumberland, England, at the age of 87.

Reviews

[Daren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Published in 1898, shortly after The War of the Worlds, this book is of course a parody of that work.
I confess I read it mostly for the fantastic cover, which is worth going and clicking on to view. I confess also that I read an ebook download from Project Gutenberg, but have chosen to cheat and show that I read this edition - again, for the cover.

I expect that a lot of the odd references are directly related to WOTW, and that if i had read that more recently (so long ago that it isn't even on my GR list, although I have seen the film a few years ago), I might have picked up a whole lot more of the jokes.

Certainly some funny parts - using W's in place of V's in the general text:

and in spite of all that has happened since I still remember our wigil very distinctly. (I spell it with a "w" from an inordinate affection for that letter.)

... That was the first hint I received of the wonderful wisit...
...then suddenly the Crinoline burst, revealing a wision of ultra-mundane lovelines...
...and the wengeance of my wife.
etc

And the abundance of unnecessary words beginning with W

Coming home, a party of bean-feasters from Wimbledon, Wormwood Scrubs, or Woking passed us, singing and playing concertinas. It all seemed so safe and tranquil. But the Wenuses were even then on their milky way.

As a storyline, it bumbles and jumps, and is ever wordy, but amusing enough for a short read.

3 stars.

[Wreade1872 · Rating 4 out of 5]

"My wife, in a nickel-plated Russian blouse, trimmed with celluloid pompons, aluminium pantaloons, and a pair of Norwegian Skis, looked magnificent."

That was stupid.. like Spaceballs levels of dumb... it was kinda awesome :) . So a parody of War of the Worlds that came out only weeks/months after the original book.

"My terror had fallen from me like a bath towel."

Highly recommend reading this as close to War of the Worlds as possible. Even so 100 year old comedy isn't always easy to parse.
There's some odd word choices too, it spends a lot of time describing streetnames and stuff which i think are digs at the original.
It breaks the forth wall and does allsorts of absurd parody elements. Its pretty short, certainly worth a look for fans of War of the Worlds.

"I stood there ecstatic, unprogressive, immoderate; while swiftly and surely ungovernable affection for all Wenuses gripped me."

Edit: Made available by the Merril Collection.

[greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this book in an odd way: a challenge from my mother to identify the word "pinguid." It's not part of my daily working vocabulary, but I searched wordincontext.com and found several examples, including this passage:

Suddenly I was conscious of a pale pink glow which suffused my writing-pad, and I heard a soft but unmistakable thud as of a pinguid body falling in the immediate vicinity. Taking off my boots, I stole gently down to the scullery and applied the spectroscope to the keyhole. To my mingled amazement and ecstasy, I perceived a large dome-shaped fabric blocking up the entire back garden.
C. L. Graves and E. V. Lucas - The War of the Wenuses

The War of the Wenuses? What kind of authority might this be? Had to look it up to see for myself. Turns out to be a riot. The author Lucas wrote prolifically for Punch magazine and elsewhere (some say* he wrote more words than he ever spoke). The Wenuses are the feminine analogs (from Venus, but with a W) of the Martians of H.G. Wells in his War of the Worlds. It's a complete and even accurate parody, published in the same year, 1898. The scheming Wenuses arrive, not in phallic space cylinders, but embroidered crinolines that open up to reveal unspeakably attractive pink creatures that lure human males to their death with their irresistible Mash-Gaze. Only the women and the most firmly misogynistic of men can resist their lethal charms. Be not surprised that he found a way to insert "pinguid" into the narrative; there are countless more well-researched odd words showing up at just the right places. It's been years since I read War of the Worlds, and after review, it is eminently worthy of such parody.

The book is not very long (really a short story with several chapters), off copyright, and freely downloadable from gutenberg or free on Kindle from Amazon. I thought it was pretty funny, in a hundred-year-old way.

*Wikipedia: E.V. Lucas

PS: "pinguid" means fatty or soapy, and it makes a highly appropriate new appearance in Michael Palin's "Hemingway's Chair".

[Hákon Gunnarsson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells is in many ways still a very interesting book, and I have for a long time been curious about the effect it has had on literature since it was published, so I've read quite few books that somehow take a cue from it. The War of the Wenuses is one of those books. It's the earliest parody of Wells' work, published in the same year.

It is a quick read. It's a long short story or a novelette, I'm not quite sure which, but short at least. For anyone interested in the history of The War of the Worlds, and the effects it has had it still holds some value. It is even an amusing parody which I liked to certain degree. Lucas and Graves did a fair job making fun of the invasion classic, but some of the humor hasn't aged that gracefully.

I'm glad I read it. More because of its historic, than its entertainment value, but still it was interesting. Even so, I don't think I will re read The War of the Wenuses any time soon. It's not that funny, and it is probably rather forgettable to be honest.