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Love on Every Breath: Tonglen Meditation for Transforming Pain into Joy
Makes accessible a core meditation of Tibetan Buddhism, Tonglen, in which practitioners breathe in suffering and breathe out compassion Rewires the nervous system and transforms negativity toward oneself and others into love and wisdom In addition to in-person retreats, Lama Palden will teach a yearlong online class built around the book Author's writings have been published in Lion's Roar, Tricycle, and Mandala
232 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 28, 2019
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66 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 2, 2019
Endorsements:
“As the rising voice of the feminine gives new life to perennial wisdom teachings, hidden jewels are being revealed through a feminine lens and rendering the esoteric utterly available. Tonglen is such a treasure. Through Lama Palden’s loving heart and lucid mind, we are offered practical tools with which to take the pain of the world all the way in, where it may be transmuted into a healing elixir for all beings.”
— Mirabai Starr, author of Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation and Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics
“Drawing on Eastern spirituality and modern psychology, Love on Every Breath offers a tried-and-true method for living joyfully in a suffering world. Indeed, this empowering book reveals how we can transform ourselves and our world by opening our hearts to others. If you want to bring more kindness into the world, read this book.”
— Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents and The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less
“Love on every breath is not just for Vajrayana practitioners. Lama Palden offers alternative ways of framing the embodiment of love for people of other traditions. She says that love on every breath is a particularly helpful practice for activists confronting the suffering of this world.”
— Lion’s Roar
“The Tibetan Buddhist practice of Tonglen — breathing in suffering and breathing out compassion — is a once-secret treasure that our world now urgently needs. Lama Palden faithfully transmits the traditional instruction she received from her many Tibetan masters, while speaking in the warm, conversational tone of an intimate friend. . . . Love on Every Breath is rigorous enough to appeal to the dedicated Buddhist practitioner, while being accessible to people of every religious or nonreligious persuasion.”
— Lewis Richmond, author of Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
“As a Catholic Sister, I found Lama Palden’s book, Love on Every Breath, to be an important spiritual work for persons of every spiritual tradition. Living in such a time of increasing hatred and violence, Palden’s sharing of how to grow our capacity for compassion through her enhanced practice of Tonglen is so needed. Her explanation of the Buddhist framework for this practice is clear and interspersed with examples from her life, making it very readable for those not as familiar with that tradition.”
— Sister Nancy Sylvester, IHM, Institute for Communal Contemplation and Dialogue
“With all the suffering in our world right now, there isn’t a better time to learn and use this compassionate and loving practice.”
— Krysta Gibson, New Spirit Journal
“In Love on Every Breath, Lama Palden offers us a clear and powerful treatise on how to turn suffering into compassion, both within ourselves and with all others. We all desire to be happy, to love, and to be loved. Through the exquisite practices of Tonglen, Palden presents straightforward and easy-to-follow guidelines for learning how to extend loving-kindness to ourselves and to all others. Both beginning and seasoned practitioners of meditation, as well as readers who desire a secular way to discover a path for embodying loving-kindness in their hearts, will find Palden’s offering of immeasurable value.”
— Richard Miller, PhD, founder of iRest Institute and author of iRest Meditation: Restorative Practices for Health, Resiliency, and Well-Being
“Love on Every Breath illuminates a clear and practical pathway for cultivating an awakened, loving heart. Drawing deeply from her Buddhist training and life experiences, Lama Palden Drolma masterfully presents a powerful guide for navigating the painful world we live in with compassion, openness, and healing. This book is an invaluable contribution for our times.”
— Wendy Garling, author of Stars at Dawn: Forgotten Stories of Women in the Buddha's Life
“With Love on Every Breath, Lama Palden offers an accessible and adaptable method to transmute suffering — our own and others’ — and to more deeply attune with our inherent loving awareness. An important, illuminating, and timely contribution!”
— John J. Prendergast, PhD, author of The Deep Heart: Our Portal to Presence and In Touch: How to Tune In to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself
“Love on Every Breath by Lama Palden Drolma brings to the public an ancient meditation practice, one that can help transform our personal and collective grief by awakening the love and compassion that are inherent in all beings. This book is a beautiful exploration of a practice that is so very needed today and is accessible to all. It is a practice that can be done in solitude in deep meditation or on the subway during one’s daily commute. As individuals and as a collective, we are dealing with much suffering in our world today, both human and planetary. There is no more urgent task than to learn to transform this pain into love so that we can awaken to a greater sense of well-being and to the true reality of what is. Lama Palden shows us the way by recounting stories from her own journey. She shows us that by practicing the Love on Every Breath meditation techniques, we, too, can find the beauty and love that reside in each and every heart.”
— Dena Merriam, founder of the Global Peace Initiative of Women and the Contemplative Alliance
“Lama Palden Drolma’s book, Love on Every Breath, is a beautiful guide for activating the awakened heart through her translation of this ancient Tibetan practice. She applies the teachings not only to Tibetan Buddhism but to all traditions, bridging the Eastern and Western practices, as her own lived experience. As a Western woman who was born into Christianity and who was called and trained to become a lama, she has the spiritual capacity to find the common ground and healing potential of love held at the core of the mystical traditions and bring it forth to her readers in a way that transforms pain into joy through love. Reading her book is a powerful blessing.”
— Carolyn Rivers, founder and director of the Sophia Institute
“As the rising voice of the feminine gives new life to perennial wisdom teachings, hidden jewels are being revealed through a feminine lens and rendering the esoteric utterly available. Tonglen is such a treasure. Through Lama Palden’s loving heart and lucid mind, we are offered practical tools with which to take the pain of the world all the way in, where it may be transmuted into a healing elixir for all beings.”
— Mirabai Starr, author of Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation and Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics
“Drawing on Eastern spirituality and modern psychology, Love on Every Breath offers a tried-and-true method for living joyfully in a suffering world. Indeed, this empowering book reveals how we can transform ourselves and our world by opening our hearts to others. If you want to bring more kindness into the world, read this book.”
— Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents and The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less
“Love on every breath is not just for Vajrayana practitioners. Lama Palden offers alternative ways of framing the embodiment of love for people of other traditions. She says that love on every breath is a particularly helpful practice for activists confronting the suffering of this world.”
— Lion’s Roar
“The Tibetan Buddhist practice of Tonglen — breathing in suffering and breathing out compassion — is a once-secret treasure that our world now urgently needs. Lama Palden faithfully transmits the traditional instruction she received from her many Tibetan masters, while speaking in the warm, conversational tone of an intimate friend. . . . Love on Every Breath is rigorous enough to appeal to the dedicated Buddhist practitioner, while being accessible to people of every religious or nonreligious persuasion.”
— Lewis Richmond, author of Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
“As a Catholic Sister, I found Lama Palden’s book, Love on Every Breath, to be an important spiritual work for persons of every spiritual tradition. Living in such a time of increasing hatred and violence, Palden’s sharing of how to grow our capacity for compassion through her enhanced practice of Tonglen is so needed. Her explanation of the Buddhist framework for this practice is clear and interspersed with examples from her life, making it very readable for those not as familiar with that tradition.”
— Sister Nancy Sylvester, IHM, Institute for Communal Contemplation and Dialogue
“With all the suffering in our world right now, there isn’t a better time to learn and use this compassionate and loving practice.”
— Krysta Gibson, New Spirit Journal
“In Love on Every Breath, Lama Palden offers us a clear and powerful treatise on how to turn suffering into compassion, both within ourselves and with all others. We all desire to be happy, to love, and to be loved. Through the exquisite practices of Tonglen, Palden presents straightforward and easy-to-follow guidelines for learning how to extend loving-kindness to ourselves and to all others. Both beginning and seasoned practitioners of meditation, as well as readers who desire a secular way to discover a path for embodying loving-kindness in their hearts, will find Palden’s offering of immeasurable value.”
— Richard Miller, PhD, founder of iRest Institute and author of iRest Meditation: Restorative Practices for Health, Resiliency, and Well-Being
“Love on Every Breath illuminates a clear and practical pathway for cultivating an awakened, loving heart. Drawing deeply from her Buddhist training and life experiences, Lama Palden Drolma masterfully presents a powerful guide for navigating the painful world we live in with compassion, openness, and healing. This book is an invaluable contribution for our times.”
— Wendy Garling, author of Stars at Dawn: Forgotten Stories of Women in the Buddha's Life
“With Love on Every Breath, Lama Palden offers an accessible and adaptable method to transmute suffering — our own and others’ — and to more deeply attune with our inherent loving awareness. An important, illuminating, and timely contribution!”
— John J. Prendergast, PhD, author of The Deep Heart: Our Portal to Presence and In Touch: How to Tune In to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself
“Love on Every Breath by Lama Palden Drolma brings to the public an ancient meditation practice, one that can help transform our personal and collective grief by awakening the love and compassion that are inherent in all beings. This book is a beautiful exploration of a practice that is so very needed today and is accessible to all. It is a practice that can be done in solitude in deep meditation or on the subway during one’s daily commute. As individuals and as a collective, we are dealing with much suffering in our world today, both human and planetary. There is no more urgent task than to learn to transform this pain into love so that we can awaken to a greater sense of well-being and to the true reality of what is. Lama Palden shows us the way by recounting stories from her own journey. She shows us that by practicing the Love on Every Breath meditation techniques, we, too, can find the beauty and love that reside in each and every heart.”
— Dena Merriam, founder of the Global Peace Initiative of Women and the Contemplative Alliance
“Lama Palden Drolma’s book, Love on Every Breath, is a beautiful guide for activating the awakened heart through her translation of this ancient Tibetan practice. She applies the teachings not only to Tibetan Buddhism but to all traditions, bridging the Eastern and Western practices, as her own lived experience. As a Western woman who was born into Christianity and who was called and trained to become a lama, she has the spiritual capacity to find the common ground and healing potential of love held at the core of the mystical traditions and bring it forth to her readers in a way that transforms pain into joy through love. Reading her book is a powerful blessing.”
— Carolyn Rivers, founder and director of the Sophia Institute
August 2, 2019
Can a lay person like myself learn the ancient Tibetan practice of tonglen? Sometimes called “taking and sending”, it teaches the practitioner to breathe in the suffering of self and others—eventually of the entire world—envisioned usually as a stream of black smoke, converting it with a “brilliant lightning strike” into pure love, and sending it out again in the form of healing compassion.
Even this oversimplified nutshell version suggests the depth, perhaps even the danger of this challenge. You’d think that it requires years of immersion in the study of Buddhist teachings (the dharma) and more years of retreat with distinguished gurus and of personal meditation practice. But Lama Palden Drolma (who, not incidentally, brings all this experience to her book on the subject) is persuasive in suggesting that even a lay person can be taught. In Love on Every Breath: Tonglen Meditation for Transforming Pain into Joy she walks the reader through eight progressive steps to learn the practice.
Those steps lead us through “Resting in Open Awareness”—what I think of as the “big sky” mind—and “Seeking Refuge in the Awakened Sanctuary” of the Triple Gem—the Buddha, the dharma and the noble sangha—to “Cultivating Awakened Mind” and “Stepping into Love.” These carefully detailed initial steps are critical preparation in making the essential connection with the heart and opening it for the real work ahead: the “Taking and Sending” first, importantly, for oneself, and only then for others. The practice concludes with “Dissolving”—a necessary letting go after the intensity of the experience—and “Dedicating” its benefits “to the happiness and liberation of all beings.”
Readers should make no mistake: tonglen is no easy path, as I can attest, as one who has made the effort to follow it in the past. It is serious business for both mind and heart to consciously breathe in, with intention, so much suffering. So it’s important to note that Lama Palden writes with the love, the depth of seriousness and the respect that both her subject and her reader require. To read her deeply caring, patient and thorough instruction manual requires every ounce of the rapt attention she so lovingly describes in her early pages. To read the book as it demands to be read also requires the exercise of each “complete meditation” practice the author outlines at the conclusion of her discussion of each step along the way. (The “on-the-spot” meditation she offers as an alternative in the stress of quotidian events is useful, but is practicable only, in my view, after the reader has experienced the complete version).
This is a rewarding book for the attentive and committed reader who wants to heal the world as well as him- or herself. With so much suffering everywhere we look, it is also a timely one. Would that this depth of compassion which, as Lama Palden is at pains to point out, can be found in every human heart, were more common currency. This world would be a better place indeed.
Even this oversimplified nutshell version suggests the depth, perhaps even the danger of this challenge. You’d think that it requires years of immersion in the study of Buddhist teachings (the dharma) and more years of retreat with distinguished gurus and of personal meditation practice. But Lama Palden Drolma (who, not incidentally, brings all this experience to her book on the subject) is persuasive in suggesting that even a lay person can be taught. In Love on Every Breath: Tonglen Meditation for Transforming Pain into Joy she walks the reader through eight progressive steps to learn the practice.
Those steps lead us through “Resting in Open Awareness”—what I think of as the “big sky” mind—and “Seeking Refuge in the Awakened Sanctuary” of the Triple Gem—the Buddha, the dharma and the noble sangha—to “Cultivating Awakened Mind” and “Stepping into Love.” These carefully detailed initial steps are critical preparation in making the essential connection with the heart and opening it for the real work ahead: the “Taking and Sending” first, importantly, for oneself, and only then for others. The practice concludes with “Dissolving”—a necessary letting go after the intensity of the experience—and “Dedicating” its benefits “to the happiness and liberation of all beings.”
Readers should make no mistake: tonglen is no easy path, as I can attest, as one who has made the effort to follow it in the past. It is serious business for both mind and heart to consciously breathe in, with intention, so much suffering. So it’s important to note that Lama Palden writes with the love, the depth of seriousness and the respect that both her subject and her reader require. To read her deeply caring, patient and thorough instruction manual requires every ounce of the rapt attention she so lovingly describes in her early pages. To read the book as it demands to be read also requires the exercise of each “complete meditation” practice the author outlines at the conclusion of her discussion of each step along the way. (The “on-the-spot” meditation she offers as an alternative in the stress of quotidian events is useful, but is practicable only, in my view, after the reader has experienced the complete version).
This is a rewarding book for the attentive and committed reader who wants to heal the world as well as him- or herself. With so much suffering everywhere we look, it is also a timely one. Would that this depth of compassion which, as Lama Palden is at pains to point out, can be found in every human heart, were more common currency. This world would be a better place indeed.
May 10, 2019
Drawing on Eastern spirituality and modern psychology, 'Love on Every Breath' offers a tried-and-true method for living joyfully in a suffering world. Indeed, this empowering book reveals how we can transform ourselves and our world by opening our hearts to others. If you want to bring more kindness into the world, read this book!
March 14, 2021
I learned Tonglen years ago and this is a very different take on the practice. Not saying it's not Tonglen--it IS, for sure, but it's a much more compassionate and heart-centered version of the practice than what I was taught and frankly, I love it.
The Tonglen I learned was about really service to others, sort of using the breath and intention to transform negativity. This version does the same, but starting with the self, and invites you to invoke Chenrezig (or Avalokitsvara, or Kwan Yin) to help the process.
I've done Tonglen through the pandemic--when I was most prone to panic and anxiety, I would pull out this meditation practice to feel like I was at least 'doing something'. And I was, but this also helps the practitioner focus on helping oneself first--we have to send and receive for ourselves, before others. In fact, this process suggests you do that for yourself for some time before you even think about sending and receiving tonglen for others. I think this would build a very strong practice that is heart-centered and enjoyable, much less intimidating than the traditional practice I learned. Absolutely transformed how I do the practice.
The Tonglen I learned was about really service to others, sort of using the breath and intention to transform negativity. This version does the same, but starting with the self, and invites you to invoke Chenrezig (or Avalokitsvara, or Kwan Yin) to help the process.
I've done Tonglen through the pandemic--when I was most prone to panic and anxiety, I would pull out this meditation practice to feel like I was at least 'doing something'. And I was, but this also helps the practitioner focus on helping oneself first--we have to send and receive for ourselves, before others. In fact, this process suggests you do that for yourself for some time before you even think about sending and receiving tonglen for others. I think this would build a very strong practice that is heart-centered and enjoyable, much less intimidating than the traditional practice I learned. Absolutely transformed how I do the practice.
September 13, 2023
I wanted to love this book. And I WAS inspired. But the steps in this book do not apply to everyone.
Meditation has always been a struggle for me until I learned of aphantasia. I cannot visualize. Since learning about this I’ve been able to adapt most meditations into a form that works for me.
However, this entire book and its steps are nothing but visualizations. With very little room to adapt for us that cannot visualize. I still love the concept and will be trying to figure out my own version of it, WITHOUT having to use my fully shut minds eye. But this book was not helpful in that regard whatsoever.
Meditation has always been a struggle for me until I learned of aphantasia. I cannot visualize. Since learning about this I’ve been able to adapt most meditations into a form that works for me.
However, this entire book and its steps are nothing but visualizations. With very little room to adapt for us that cannot visualize. I still love the concept and will be trying to figure out my own version of it, WITHOUT having to use my fully shut minds eye. But this book was not helpful in that regard whatsoever.
September 19, 2019
A great into to Buddhism and meditation for people raised in Christian culture.
December 13, 2023
Great guide to Tonglen meditation.
October 13, 2024
DNF - I’ve found this book really hard to follow. The ideology is great but the way it’s explained is not fluent. I do like this book, however wish it was simpler and more organised.
June 22, 2019
Lama Palden offers the ancient Buddhist practice of Tonglin to ease the stress of our complex, modern lives. She offers a powerful and very practical approach that powerfully connects us to our deepest desire to calm the anxiety, isolation and depression that impair our well-being. She brilliantly shines light on how to awaken life fulfillment, calmness, kindness and joy. Everyone can discover the great value of Love on Every Breath, a gift that nourishes the mind, body and heart.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews