As I entered my kitchen the smell of the cat poo was not wholly unpleasant but not wholly pleasant either, it was one of those things that are not wholly unpleasant or wholly pleasant, like receiving a bill you know you can pay immediately, or a kiss from a relative you don’t really like too much because you’ve noticed she’s not that kind to your children. I cleared up the cat poo and reflected that cats are poo machines, we buy them cat food, they shovel it in at one end, then all the time we are stroking them and admiring their lovely fur and supple frames, they are creating poo, which is not so pleasant really, although not completely unpleasant….
Stop, stop, please don’t carry on with this … I suppose it’s one of your parodies?
Well – his style does lend itself…
Yes, but please, the actual Knausgaard is bad enough! Anyway, a parody version is too easy – it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
Well, okay… no need to get tetchy. Parodies are fun! You know, Murakami, Sebald….
Ah yes – I’m glad you mentioned him…. I thought this Knausgaard book reminded me of a much less well-read kind of non-intellectual Sebald –
With an admixture of Nicholson Baker’s Room Temperature and some seasoning from Rousseau and Emerson, all that nature nature nature -
Well, that’s his thing….
It’s not my thing. You seen one leaf, you seen them all. Also, what was with this Don’t Give Anyone Any Names business? I am fed up with books with Unnamed Narrators – here we had unnamed everybody. His wife and four children – no names! One time the depressed wife addresses him by HIS name (Karl Ove) so he gets his own name and everybody else is “the siblings” “your younger sister”, “my nearest neighbour”…
I’m getting the idea that this wasn’t your cup of tea either.
Once again I seem to be immune to everybody’s current crush.
Ah don’t look so woebegone, you love it, you old curmudgeon! You can do one of your one star specials!
No, not really…. I can’t deny he’s got…. Soul. His writing is like a spaniel with huge eyes full of love looking at you, defying you not to love it back. It’s all children, and nature, and intimacy, and wife, and wondering about Life Itself, and the aggravations of pettiness (no petrol!) and the wonder of the entire cosmos (look at the ocean! And that castle! And that ant!)
He got on your nerves didn’t he.
Yeah…. Yeah….
So give me an example of all this then…
Okay… here :
The silence reigning there, so specific to sun-filled afternoons in late summer, how the sounds that breach it all seem so far away, almost dream-like, even the sound of the children splashing about in the plastic pool, making a racket, as if the sky is too deep, the world too vast for something as small as a voice to find a foothold in.
It’s like …. “you are getting sleepy…. Your eyes are so heavy…. You are eleven years old…. You will buy my next book…”. There’s one part on page 64 and 65 where he describes being jetlagged as if we need a slow mournful meandering description of what jetlag is because we will never have known such a thing.
Even though I knew I was in Australia, on the other side of the globe, in Sydney, it was as if the sensation of being in Bergen trumped reason… it was almost as if I was sleepwalking.
And I was thinking…No kidding, Karl Ove!
All right, all right. So this three star rating, what – another cop-out?
Ah, the loose and baggy monster that is the three star rating. Some people think it just means “yeah, well, whatever” but it’s more interesting than that. It also means “really excellent but badly flawed” and in this case “I think this guy’s got something, he’s not bad, he’s just…. look, if he rings me again, tell him I’m out. In fact, tell him I’ve emigrated…”.
Does this mean you'll not be reading Min Kamp this year?
Hahaha....hahaha.....