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Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Cosleeping Questions
In the world of pediatric care, sleep safety guidelines are controversial and often misguided. Health professionals broadly discourage all forms of cosleeping, which, along with the potentially devastating consequences, makes deciding how and where your baby should sleep both confusing and frightening. Parents who cherish the closeness, security, and warmth of cosleeping are finding themselves conflicted, concerned, and exhausted. Cosleeping, a term which encompasses sleeping in the same room or on the same bed as your infant, is a common parental instinct driven by physiology and seen throughout human history. Despite mainstream opposition, thousands of parents continue the practice, whether intentionally, accidentally, or out of necessity. So, why do current medical guidelines insist that cosleeping is unsafe? What is the difference between SIDS and SUID, and are they related to cosleeping? What should parents do to make a safe sleep space for their infant? If a family chooses to cosleep, how should they respond to reproach from friends, family, or medical professionals? In Safe Infant Sleep , the world's authority on cosleeping breaks down the complicated political and social aspects of sleep safety, exposes common misconceptions, and compares current recommendations to hard science. With the latest information on the abundant scientific benefits of cosleeping, Dr. James J. Mckenna informs readers about the dangers of following over-simplified recommendations against the age-old practice, and encourages parents to trust their knowledge and instincts about what is and is not safe for their baby. This book offers a range of options and safety tips for your family's ideal cosleeping arrangement. These include variations of roomsharing and bedsharing, and introduce the concept of “breastsleeping.” This term, coined by Dr. McKenna himself, is based on the inherent biological connection between breastfeeding and infant sleep, and provides readers with everything they need to know about safely sharing a bed with their baby. Complete with resource listings for both parents and professionals, this book teaches you how to confidently choose a safe sleeping arrangement as unique as your family.
288 pages, Paperback
Published January 7, 2020
212 people are currently reading
841 people want to read
About the author
James J. McKenna
14 books24 followersDr. McKenna is the author of Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping .
He received his undergraduate degree from the University of California at Berkeley in Anthropology and his Ph.D. from the University of Oregon, also in Anthropology, specializing in the evolution of human parenting systems and human development. He taught at the University of California at Berkeley for two years before accepting a tenure track position at Pomona College in Claremont, California where he taught for 20 years, and won several teaching awards. In 1997, he was recruited by the University of Notre Dame, where he is a Professor and the director of the University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory.
Dr. McKenna is best known for his pioneering studies of the differences between the physiology and behavior of solitary and co-sleeping mothers and infants-and the connection these data might have in addressing SIDS risks. He has published three books, the most recent one entitled Evolutionary Medicine with Oxford University Press. In addition, he has published well over 50 peer-reviewed papers on SIDS and co-sleeping.
He received his undergraduate degree from the University of California at Berkeley in Anthropology and his Ph.D. from the University of Oregon, also in Anthropology, specializing in the evolution of human parenting systems and human development. He taught at the University of California at Berkeley for two years before accepting a tenure track position at Pomona College in Claremont, California where he taught for 20 years, and won several teaching awards. In 1997, he was recruited by the University of Notre Dame, where he is a Professor and the director of the University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory.
Dr. McKenna is best known for his pioneering studies of the differences between the physiology and behavior of solitary and co-sleeping mothers and infants-and the connection these data might have in addressing SIDS risks. He has published three books, the most recent one entitled Evolutionary Medicine with Oxford University Press. In addition, he has published well over 50 peer-reviewed papers on SIDS and co-sleeping.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
October 31, 2021
I was very torn between giving this book three and four stars. In the end, I gave it four because I think this is an important conversation that not enough medical professionals are having, so I appreciate what Dr. McKenna is trying to do. I would recommend this to someone who is already cosleeping or open to it and looking for more information about potential benefits and how to do it safely. That being said, would I recommend this to someone who is anti-bedsharing to change their mind? No, I would not. Would I recommend this to someone who wanted a balanced discussion on the topic? No, I would not.
I am very much in agreement with Dr. McKenna's philosophy on infant care. I am pro cosleeping and breastfeeding. I have a six month old who I was "breastsleeping" as Dr. McKenna calls way before I read this book. In fact, I bought this book because I wanted to be able to back my decision with science, not just my intuition as a mother.
Cosleeping mamas get a loooooot of opinions where I live, and I was looking for data to back me. Therein lies my problem with this book. It is very, very biased.
For one thing, the way studies are discussed in this book is very biased. At times, the implications drawn from the studies by Dr. McKenna are misleading bordering on dishonest, in my opinion. Dr. McKenna relies on a lot of studies that are either very small, very poorly conducted, or both. For example, he cites the infamous Middlemiss study as proof that CIO is "cruel" (pretty sure that's the word he used). Now, I personally think that the researchers were on to something with what they were trying to prove. But that doesn't change the fact that it was a poorly conducted and terribly reported on study (there were only 25 participants, infant cortisol levels were reported as "high" with no baseline, babies were put to bed by a nurse not their mother which could also cause stress, etc). But this is the kind of "proof" Dr. McKenna is using.
Dr. McKenna also heavily implies correlation=causation again and again. He cites studies and says that they found this or that positive outcome for kids that coslept compared to those who did not, and he says it in a way that makes it sound like Cosleeping is the reason the kids grew up to be confident or whatever. This is ridiculous in my opinion. There are way more reasons for this to be a correlational relationship than a causational one. Could it be that that moms who decide to cosleep have other things in common? And these x factors are what cause the kids to be more confident? Because that is a very different conclusion to draw from these studies than implying that kids who cosleep are more confident because they coslept. So I feel that it was irresponsible for Dr. McKenna to present these studies in that way.
Third, there are a lot of studies that out there that are used to support the idea of sleep training. Now like I said I'm not a sleep training fan. But for Dr. McKenna to label sleep training as "cruel" without a discussion of this research is, again, very biased and a detraction from the credibility of this book as a whole.
I know this is a lot of critique for a four star review. But I really do appreciate what Dr. McKenna is trying to do by even having this discussion, even if he doesn't do it as credibility as I feel he could. If there were lots of books about cosleeping, if it was discussed openly between moms everywhere, or if you could talk about it with your doctor without getting in trouble (I've tried), then I would not be giving this book four stars. But this is not the case where I live. And it is so important for moms to have access to information like what Dr. McKenna is trying to provide. Like Dr. McKenna points out, a lot of us end up cosleeping anyways, just not armed with information on the potential benefits or how to do it safely. I was disappointed by how biased this book is presented, but the fact is, we live in a society that is very biased in the other direction, and there aren't a lot of reputable resources for those of us who want to "breastsleep". Also, as poorly as some of the science was presented , there was some stuff in there that I really liked. For example, I found Dr. McKenna did a good job playing devil's advocate on the whole bedsharing-causes-SIDS idea. And I liked the discussion of a study correlating breastfeeding to infants sleeping through the night later in life (https://pediatrics.aappublications.or... it's a good study in my opinion, and a reassuring read for mamas whose babies aren't sleeping through the night at six months). I also thought the discussion of how to bedshare safely was very important. So for reasons like that, four stars.
In summary, it's a book about the **potential** benefits of cosleeping and how to do it safely. It stands out for good intentions, but it is biased.
I am very much in agreement with Dr. McKenna's philosophy on infant care. I am pro cosleeping and breastfeeding. I have a six month old who I was "breastsleeping" as Dr. McKenna calls way before I read this book. In fact, I bought this book because I wanted to be able to back my decision with science, not just my intuition as a mother.
Cosleeping mamas get a loooooot of opinions where I live, and I was looking for data to back me. Therein lies my problem with this book. It is very, very biased.
For one thing, the way studies are discussed in this book is very biased. At times, the implications drawn from the studies by Dr. McKenna are misleading bordering on dishonest, in my opinion. Dr. McKenna relies on a lot of studies that are either very small, very poorly conducted, or both. For example, he cites the infamous Middlemiss study as proof that CIO is "cruel" (pretty sure that's the word he used). Now, I personally think that the researchers were on to something with what they were trying to prove. But that doesn't change the fact that it was a poorly conducted and terribly reported on study (there were only 25 participants, infant cortisol levels were reported as "high" with no baseline, babies were put to bed by a nurse not their mother which could also cause stress, etc). But this is the kind of "proof" Dr. McKenna is using.
Dr. McKenna also heavily implies correlation=causation again and again. He cites studies and says that they found this or that positive outcome for kids that coslept compared to those who did not, and he says it in a way that makes it sound like Cosleeping is the reason the kids grew up to be confident or whatever. This is ridiculous in my opinion. There are way more reasons for this to be a correlational relationship than a causational one. Could it be that that moms who decide to cosleep have other things in common? And these x factors are what cause the kids to be more confident? Because that is a very different conclusion to draw from these studies than implying that kids who cosleep are more confident because they coslept. So I feel that it was irresponsible for Dr. McKenna to present these studies in that way.
Third, there are a lot of studies that out there that are used to support the idea of sleep training. Now like I said I'm not a sleep training fan. But for Dr. McKenna to label sleep training as "cruel" without a discussion of this research is, again, very biased and a detraction from the credibility of this book as a whole.
I know this is a lot of critique for a four star review. But I really do appreciate what Dr. McKenna is trying to do by even having this discussion, even if he doesn't do it as credibility as I feel he could. If there were lots of books about cosleeping, if it was discussed openly between moms everywhere, or if you could talk about it with your doctor without getting in trouble (I've tried), then I would not be giving this book four stars. But this is not the case where I live. And it is so important for moms to have access to information like what Dr. McKenna is trying to provide. Like Dr. McKenna points out, a lot of us end up cosleeping anyways, just not armed with information on the potential benefits or how to do it safely. I was disappointed by how biased this book is presented, but the fact is, we live in a society that is very biased in the other direction, and there aren't a lot of reputable resources for those of us who want to "breastsleep". Also, as poorly as some of the science was presented , there was some stuff in there that I really liked. For example, I found Dr. McKenna did a good job playing devil's advocate on the whole bedsharing-causes-SIDS idea. And I liked the discussion of a study correlating breastfeeding to infants sleeping through the night later in life (https://pediatrics.aappublications.or... it's a good study in my opinion, and a reassuring read for mamas whose babies aren't sleeping through the night at six months). I also thought the discussion of how to bedshare safely was very important. So for reasons like that, four stars.
In summary, it's a book about the **potential** benefits of cosleeping and how to do it safely. It stands out for good intentions, but it is biased.
May 26, 2020
Pay special attention to the last chapter.
“Putting the blame for chaotic cosleeping deaths on bedsharing itself, rather than on the conditions and diverse circumstances that make the practice safe for some subgroups, but not for others, is morally and scientifically wrong.”
“Putting the blame for chaotic cosleeping deaths on bedsharing itself, rather than on the conditions and diverse circumstances that make the practice safe for some subgroups, but not for others, is morally and scientifically wrong.”
December 27, 2020
Evidence-based literature that provides insightful tips to mothers who wish to breastfeed and co-sleep successfully. A great read for Westernized parents who feel like they’re the minority when it comes to their co-sleeping arrangements with their infants. Provides page after page of evidence-based research that demonstrates co-sleeping is not only beneficial to the parent(s) and child but is indeed biologically normal as well.
November 9, 2021
This isn’t so much a sleep guide as it is a history of bed sharing and how flawed research and Western beliefs about children and independence have led to a stigma against it. Dr. McKenna debunks a lot of the myths of the dangers of bed sharing and explains through research and explanation of biological norms/other cultures how cosleeping (including but not limited to bed sharing) can actually not only be safe, but beneficial in many ways to the mother-child dyad. Some benefits include: prolonged breastfeeding duration, regulation of temperature/heart rate, protection against SIDS, improved sleep, and even some links to fewer toddler tantrums, more independence and empathy, and an easier time being alone. I know, some of these seem counter-intuitive!
Personally I find issue with how much he tends to slag on formula feeding, and I say this as a mother who breastfeeds. So many mothers struggle with the decision to switch to exclusive formula feeding or mixed feeding, and sometimes it’s not even a decision but they really have no choice (low supply despite trying everything, among other reasons), and I feel like if it were me I’d be easily triggered by some of the book. While breastfeeding lowers the risk for SIDS it just seems sort of extreme to refer to formula as increasing SIDS. Same with the other touted benefits of breastfeeding. But anyway, I do recommend this book for anyone interested in bed sharing, either through necessity or by choice.
Personally I find issue with how much he tends to slag on formula feeding, and I say this as a mother who breastfeeds. So many mothers struggle with the decision to switch to exclusive formula feeding or mixed feeding, and sometimes it’s not even a decision but they really have no choice (low supply despite trying everything, among other reasons), and I feel like if it were me I’d be easily triggered by some of the book. While breastfeeding lowers the risk for SIDS it just seems sort of extreme to refer to formula as increasing SIDS. Same with the other touted benefits of breastfeeding. But anyway, I do recommend this book for anyone interested in bed sharing, either through necessity or by choice.
January 19, 2024
Take anything I say about this book with a grain of salt, as it was clearly not meant for me. The majority of this book was spent on arguing that bedsharing with a baby is not inherently dangerous. As someone who comes from a culture where bedsharing is encouraged and new parents are educated on safe bedsharing as part of their stay at the hospital, my response to this book was mainly "duh?" If anything Dr. McKenna was more cautious than the Norwegian reccomendations.
For example, he writes that any bottle feeding, regardless of whether the bottle contains formula or pumped milk, means the baby should not bedshare. Even if the baby is exclusively directly nursed now, having bottle fed in the first month of life also means the baby should not bedshare. So if the baby was given formula or pumped milk while the breastfeeding parent worked to establish breastfeeding, or if the other parent gives a bottle or two of pumped milk during the day, the parents are apparently posing a danger to their child at night due to not being optimally "in sync"? McKenna also never explains why a baby that gets some of their calories in the form of breastmilk or formula on a bottle would be any less "in sync" with their parent than a baby getting some of their calories from solids, yet he reccomends continuing the bedsharing long into the solid starts phase. There was also relatively little information on how to do it right, and the little information used vague, overarching terms such as "remove hazards" and "use lighter blankets" without specifying further. If anything this book made me more confused about the safety of bedsharing than the generally simple public reccomendations on how to bedshare in my country, so I think I'll stick to those.
McKenna is also very negative towards bottle feeding, even bottle feeding pumped milk, in this book, and while some of the stats shared are facinating and makes me feel good about the work I put in to breastfeed, I think his wording and the studies he choses to highlight needlessly fearmonger. At least in my country, people are not simply flipping a coin to decide how to feed their baby. It is well known that breastfeeding is the best nutrition for a baby and a good way to bond with a newborn child. The decision to formula feed or pump is often a careful one after weighing pros and cons heavily. People who find that they cannot breastfeed often grieve hard and feel like they fail their children. Being able or not able to provide our babies with breastmilk is a great source of pride or shame for most of us. So I think it is unneccessary to feed new parents page upon page of information that makes it seem as if the bottle fed infant is experiencing major consistent trauma and stress, without comparing this to the stress of having a parent who for example needlessly suffer from illness they should be medicated for, have high stress levels from doing painful breastfeeding, or lack of sleep from nursing constantly because they simply don't get an adequate amount of milk from the breast. The constant references to "irreversible changes to the brain!" kind of irked me, as everything we do or don't do with babies will have irreversible effects on the brain, that is what brain building is. Nobody can make every perfect decision and build the perfect baby brain that has never experienced any stressor or risk factor at all, nor should we, so presenting it as if your feeding choice is gonna be the difference between raising the new Einstein and your child needing 5 years of therapy is a bit extreme. Words like "cruel," "abuse," and "torture" could have been avoided when discussing fairly normal parenting decisions.
But again, the book was not meant for me. Who knows, maybe there is an epidemic of american parents formula feeding at random who would simply up and change their mind if they were told breastmilk is better? The statistic that 81% of american babies are breastfed vs 99% of norwegian babies could point to a lack of education, but I think it is more likely that people formula feed from the start, knowing they will have to get back to work quickly anyway and pumping may not be possible or worth the effort. Pumping is also a large economical investment that many people cannot make "just to try it out." In other words, I think there are large structural changes that will get that number up from 81%, not telling parents for the 100th time that BREAST IS BEST.
Overall, I gave it 3 stars because while I had mainly criticism, this book is probably very helpful in an american cultural context. I admit I had to ask around to really confirm that this was actually the american climate surrounding breastsleeping... I was sure this McKenna guy was a bit of a conspiracy nut thinking people are terrified of this normal sleeping arrangement. But if it's really the case that americans are being told to put their babies asleep alone with a bottle of formula or in a crib even when the baby clearly needs more support to sleep, a book like this is very much needed.
For example, he writes that any bottle feeding, regardless of whether the bottle contains formula or pumped milk, means the baby should not bedshare. Even if the baby is exclusively directly nursed now, having bottle fed in the first month of life also means the baby should not bedshare. So if the baby was given formula or pumped milk while the breastfeeding parent worked to establish breastfeeding, or if the other parent gives a bottle or two of pumped milk during the day, the parents are apparently posing a danger to their child at night due to not being optimally "in sync"? McKenna also never explains why a baby that gets some of their calories in the form of breastmilk or formula on a bottle would be any less "in sync" with their parent than a baby getting some of their calories from solids, yet he reccomends continuing the bedsharing long into the solid starts phase. There was also relatively little information on how to do it right, and the little information used vague, overarching terms such as "remove hazards" and "use lighter blankets" without specifying further. If anything this book made me more confused about the safety of bedsharing than the generally simple public reccomendations on how to bedshare in my country, so I think I'll stick to those.
McKenna is also very negative towards bottle feeding, even bottle feeding pumped milk, in this book, and while some of the stats shared are facinating and makes me feel good about the work I put in to breastfeed, I think his wording and the studies he choses to highlight needlessly fearmonger. At least in my country, people are not simply flipping a coin to decide how to feed their baby. It is well known that breastfeeding is the best nutrition for a baby and a good way to bond with a newborn child. The decision to formula feed or pump is often a careful one after weighing pros and cons heavily. People who find that they cannot breastfeed often grieve hard and feel like they fail their children. Being able or not able to provide our babies with breastmilk is a great source of pride or shame for most of us. So I think it is unneccessary to feed new parents page upon page of information that makes it seem as if the bottle fed infant is experiencing major consistent trauma and stress, without comparing this to the stress of having a parent who for example needlessly suffer from illness they should be medicated for, have high stress levels from doing painful breastfeeding, or lack of sleep from nursing constantly because they simply don't get an adequate amount of milk from the breast. The constant references to "irreversible changes to the brain!" kind of irked me, as everything we do or don't do with babies will have irreversible effects on the brain, that is what brain building is. Nobody can make every perfect decision and build the perfect baby brain that has never experienced any stressor or risk factor at all, nor should we, so presenting it as if your feeding choice is gonna be the difference between raising the new Einstein and your child needing 5 years of therapy is a bit extreme. Words like "cruel," "abuse," and "torture" could have been avoided when discussing fairly normal parenting decisions.
But again, the book was not meant for me. Who knows, maybe there is an epidemic of american parents formula feeding at random who would simply up and change their mind if they were told breastmilk is better? The statistic that 81% of american babies are breastfed vs 99% of norwegian babies could point to a lack of education, but I think it is more likely that people formula feed from the start, knowing they will have to get back to work quickly anyway and pumping may not be possible or worth the effort. Pumping is also a large economical investment that many people cannot make "just to try it out." In other words, I think there are large structural changes that will get that number up from 81%, not telling parents for the 100th time that BREAST IS BEST.
Overall, I gave it 3 stars because while I had mainly criticism, this book is probably very helpful in an american cultural context. I admit I had to ask around to really confirm that this was actually the american climate surrounding breastsleeping... I was sure this McKenna guy was a bit of a conspiracy nut thinking people are terrified of this normal sleeping arrangement. But if it's really the case that americans are being told to put their babies asleep alone with a bottle of formula or in a crib even when the baby clearly needs more support to sleep, a book like this is very much needed.
March 11, 2023
Being interested in learning about the available research on cosleeping and how it can be done safely, I found this book rather disappointing. It does cover these topics, but most of the book is a repetitive critique to the politics and ideologies behind the anti-bedsharing campaigns in the US. Interesting, yes. But no need to repeat yourself over so many pages. It looks to me like this book could be very well summarised in two articles: one about the benefits associated to cosleeping and bedsharing and how to do it safely, and another covering the criticism to the anti-bedsharing politics. This should not have been a whole book.
January 8, 2023
Lots of interesting information here but the book is a bit polemical in tone and I think in general I prefer the parenting books that gently emphasize the importance of making decisions that are best for the well-being of the family, not just for the baby. From what I’ve read it sounds like some mothers have a really hard time sleeping with a baby in the bed, or need/want the extra space that separate sleeping arrangements allow them, so sleep training makes sense for them (and isn’t inherently Bad!). If/when I have kids I’m interested in trying co-sleeping to see if it works for me and I felt like this book gave me a good handle on how to do that safely… but I also want to resolve as best I can to be flexible and gentle with myself, and to not feel guilty/bad if I try one thing and it doesn’t work out. So that means taking the “this is the best/healthiest/most natural/most loving way to do XYZ” rhetoric of some parenting advice books with a grain of salt.
August 29, 2025
Could have been an email
February 24, 2020
This was an interesting look at cosleeping. I don't have children, and I likely won't be having any, but were I to have a child of my own, I'm almost certain that I would cosleep, in some form or fashion.
This is full of useful information and a lot of statistics. There's a lot of research, and even some anecdotal stories at the very back of the book as well. There are also some grim advertisements that were actual billboards at the back of the book.
The one huge drawback for me is how repetitive this is. It constantly repeats the same information over and over and over again. I even said out loud that this was making me want to bang my head against the wall. This could probably have 100 pages cut out of it and get the point across just as well.
*I received a paperback copy of this via a Librarything giveaway*
For whatever reason, the paperback copy on Goodreads shows as being 80 pages less than it is, so I switched to the Ebook edition for this review for more accurate page count.
This is full of useful information and a lot of statistics. There's a lot of research, and even some anecdotal stories at the very back of the book as well. There are also some grim advertisements that were actual billboards at the back of the book.
The one huge drawback for me is how repetitive this is. It constantly repeats the same information over and over and over again. I even said out loud that this was making me want to bang my head against the wall. This could probably have 100 pages cut out of it and get the point across just as well.
*I received a paperback copy of this via a Librarything giveaway*
For whatever reason, the paperback copy on Goodreads shows as being 80 pages less than it is, so I switched to the Ebook edition for this review for more accurate page count.
August 1, 2024
This book is super informative. It also has practical advice on how to sleep with your baby in a safe manner. The reason I'm giving this book 3 stars is due to the extremely boring and irrelevant first half. Sure that information is useful and deserves a spot in the book. But I got it as a mom who is currently cosleeping and wanting more info, not someone who cares deeply about the recommendations and controversy. I want some practical tips to apply NOW to keep my baby safe. I almost didn't get to the part where he points out a safety error I have been making because it was after 140 pages of super boring stuff. If this book was reorganized to have the practical safety stuff first it would be so much better. Instead the author urges you to read the boring stuff for a foundation. So I obeyed and, in doing so, put my infant at risk for another month while I slogged through.
March 5, 2024
fascinating and brilliant, this book dispels the myths of cosleeping and its negative connotations. bringing the topic back to historical, scientific, and instinctual truth that cosleeping is actually incredibly important to the cognitive development of infants and children. as well as its ability to form secure healthy attachments. it’s a shame, for both the parents and the child, that so many people get it so wrong. I love how God designed a woman and her innate sense of what’s best for her baby, through the closeness of their bodies, through something as formative and impactful as sleep! excited to experience the beauty, warmth, and safety of cosleeping one day. I’d recommend this book to everyone.
February 28, 2024
While I want to call this author repetitive, I would rather say that he reiterates his main points throughout the entire book. He really hits home on why cosleeping (specifically bedsharing) is “condemned” in our U.S. culture and how to make cosleeping safe.
Since he is writing on a topic contrary to everything I’ve grown up knowing about infant sleeping and napping, there was a lot of chew on and process for my own child and family. While I initially bought this book out of cosleeping being “forced” upon me by my newborn, I now am looking forward to making an active choice.
He included such helpful graphics in most chapters!
Not sure if it was just my kindle version, but there were multiple spelling errors. 🤷🏼♀️
Since he is writing on a topic contrary to everything I’ve grown up knowing about infant sleeping and napping, there was a lot of chew on and process for my own child and family. While I initially bought this book out of cosleeping being “forced” upon me by my newborn, I now am looking forward to making an active choice.
He included such helpful graphics in most chapters!
Not sure if it was just my kindle version, but there were multiple spelling errors. 🤷🏼♀️
January 8, 2024
Great book. Read for class. So sad that the majority of parents have no idea what their options are or what normal biological/developmental infant sleep looks like. I see so many parents reading “Moms on Call” which is so unfortunate knowing (as an IBCLC myself) how it can completely undermine breastfeeding for mothers and infants. So sad that books like this aren’t more widely read or known by parents. This book was full of research, shows the problems of modern society and cultural implications that lead to infants suffering, and was just all around interesting. A must read for new parents.
January 31, 2025
I loved the laid back writing style in juxtaposition to the quantity and depth of research presented. I was previously unaware of the amount of clinical research conducted on mother/baby sleep at notre dame, which was both informative and reassuring to read. The author expertly laid out a case for the safety and benefits for co-sleeping, leaving the reader with much to absorb and reflect upon. However, I would have loved to see a little more emphasis on the practical ins and outs of breastsleeping.
August 14, 2025
This is a great book covering the topic of safe co-sleeping practices and bedsharing for newborns and babies. I actually really liked that the author, with all of his knowledge and research, still encourages the reader to follow their intuition for their baby and do what feels best, not just what everyone else tells you. A must read for any new parent wanting to learn more about the most natural way to sleep with our babies!
September 29, 2021
Babies are supposed to wake up during the night. Babies are supposed to be fed during the night. Babies enjoy sleeping close to their parents at night.
Many parents that I know cosleep or breastsleep and I already knew that that would be my preference as well. However, if you live in a society where solitary sleeping and sleep training is common this book might be a good read for you.
Many parents that I know cosleep or breastsleep and I already knew that that would be my preference as well. However, if you live in a society where solitary sleeping and sleep training is common this book might be a good read for you.
August 30, 2023
If your baby is creeping into your bed (like mine is) and you're looking for permission and advice on how to bed-share, this book's for you. It explores data biases against bed-sharing, discusses benefits, and offers some practical advice. Overall, I found it pretty reassuring. I also appreciated that he tried to contextualize the issue of infant death in broader structures like classism and racism. This was a significant strength.
It does however have its cons. I found parts pedantic. At the beginning, McKenna acknowledges that you shouldn't have to read a whole book to feel confident and equipped to safely bed-share, but then circles the issue of medical bias against bed-sharing again and again and again. Your audience is exhausted parents, let's move it along, dude! Another issue: McKenna spends a lot of time critiquing conventional advice against bed-sharing which he argues is due to ideological bias and faulty data interpretation. He is definitely guilty of this too. His claim that swaddling increases the rish of SIDS is backed by a single study. Similarly, he states that sleep training is cruel without meaningfully engaging what sleep training actually entails (I'm not interested in sleep training, but I thought this was a lazy and unsupported claim). He also really can't help but say that bed-sharing is the most natural and healthy way to go (which isn't helpful!). Finally, after all that, I felt the book failed to address some pretty basic questions like how to position yourself to balance your nursing, stop your baby from rolling, etc.
It does however have its cons. I found parts pedantic. At the beginning, McKenna acknowledges that you shouldn't have to read a whole book to feel confident and equipped to safely bed-share, but then circles the issue of medical bias against bed-sharing again and again and again. Your audience is exhausted parents, let's move it along, dude! Another issue: McKenna spends a lot of time critiquing conventional advice against bed-sharing which he argues is due to ideological bias and faulty data interpretation. He is definitely guilty of this too. His claim that swaddling increases the rish of SIDS is backed by a single study. Similarly, he states that sleep training is cruel without meaningfully engaging what sleep training actually entails (I'm not interested in sleep training, but I thought this was a lazy and unsupported claim). He also really can't help but say that bed-sharing is the most natural and healthy way to go (which isn't helpful!). Finally, after all that, I felt the book failed to address some pretty basic questions like how to position yourself to balance your nursing, stop your baby from rolling, etc.
August 13, 2025
Nu a fost chiar ce mă așteptam. E o carte care promovează dormitul alături de copil și adormitul la sân, cu multă știință în spate care să consolideze asta, nu e doar părerea autorului. Cred însă ca în societatea în care trăiam și cu ritmul pe care îl avem fiecare părinte găsește o variantă de somn sustenabilă pentru întreaga familie care, de cele mai multe ori, nu e dormitul cu copilul.
February 12, 2024
This is an amazing and scientific read if you’re interested in cosleeping in any way. I’ve learnt all I could possibly want to know from this book. There are a lot of practical tips and tricks on how to properly and safely cosleep. I especially love the picture on how to properly bedshare!
May 7, 2024
Recommending this book to everyone.
December 7, 2024
I absolutely loved this book. Changed my views and made me feel more at peace with my natural instincts. Every pregnant woman should give this read and take what they like. I appreciate knowing the breakdown of data regards SIDS too.
June 22, 2022
Definitely learned alot I didn't know, and appreciated the breakdown of how infant sleep statistics work.
September 17, 2025
so helpful! gave me the boost of confidence needed to make the sleeping choices we did with our baby. highly recommend!
March 16, 2024
Validated my instincts and made me feel better about my baby's sleep needs. I feel confident in safe sleep by choosing what works best for my baby and maximizing the benefits of breastfeeding.
April 24, 2024
Good contrast to most books that advise against cosleeping. Lots of facts and reasoning to back up the author’s view.
February 20, 2022
This book was interesting and had a lot of useful information. The term “evidence based” I personally feel is used too freely here, as the author explains thorough testing and studies have not been done on bedsharing and co-sleeping with variables and different factors analyzed. That’s not to say there’s no proof or benefits, I think after reading this I feel more secure in my decisions to co-sleep and I understand more about what would make bedsharing safe or unsafe. This is all useful and I recommend this book to new parents who may not have all the facts about safe infant sleep.
One critique I do have is this author is very opposed to solitary sleeping and sleep training. There’s no age limitations on this, but it’s implied the author is referring to any baby under the age of 1 year. While there’s evidence of “cry out” causing elevated cortisol levels in infants, it’s not clear if this is for the entirety of infancy or only up to a certain age or if there are other factors involved that may cause the elevated cortisol levels such as hunger, issues with temperature, discomfort, lack of parental engagement, low stimulation, an environment where there is a lot of fighting or aggression, etc. I feel like the message was trimmed down to “don’t let your baby cry. If you do, you’re a terrible parent and your baby will just be stressed all the time.” It’s not the most helpful or “evidence based” message and by the authors own admission seems to have more to do with their personal experience of letting their infant cry for 15 minutes and then feeling terrible about it.
I’m not saying sleep training is good or right or whatever, I’m saying there’s very little to no information on it in this book and what little there is is very personally biased against it.
To piggy back off of the above, the author barely adds in a section on transitioning from cosleeping to solitary sleeping and the few paragraphs that do cover this subject are not evidence based or even very helpful. The author says simply that it’s harder to transition to solitary sleep if you’ve been cosleeping or bedsharing for the first year or more of life (which is the recommendation of this book). And when you do transition, there’s not much the author can tell you on how to do this. It’s a few vague tips that involve understanding your child may not fully move over for an unspecified amount of time (weeks? Months? Years? Will my toddler be 4 and wanting to sleep in my bed with me still? If I don’t let her will she “cry it out” - a method this author is vehemently opposed to and claims will do a lot of harm to her?) Other than that the author suggests using bribes to transition your child, such as with the excitement of having a new bed or their own room. These suggestions are vague at best and unhelpful at worst. I almost feel like I have to read another book on transitioning from cosleeping to solitary, when it could have been easily covered in this book had the author decided it was important enough to research.
Overall a good book on safe cosleeping and bedsharing. Would recommend as a supplemental read to make sure you have all the safety facts before making any decisions. I would not suggest this be your only book on infant sleep as it is very biased and lacks information on other options including sleep training or transitioning to solitary sleep.
One critique I do have is this author is very opposed to solitary sleeping and sleep training. There’s no age limitations on this, but it’s implied the author is referring to any baby under the age of 1 year. While there’s evidence of “cry out” causing elevated cortisol levels in infants, it’s not clear if this is for the entirety of infancy or only up to a certain age or if there are other factors involved that may cause the elevated cortisol levels such as hunger, issues with temperature, discomfort, lack of parental engagement, low stimulation, an environment where there is a lot of fighting or aggression, etc. I feel like the message was trimmed down to “don’t let your baby cry. If you do, you’re a terrible parent and your baby will just be stressed all the time.” It’s not the most helpful or “evidence based” message and by the authors own admission seems to have more to do with their personal experience of letting their infant cry for 15 minutes and then feeling terrible about it.
I’m not saying sleep training is good or right or whatever, I’m saying there’s very little to no information on it in this book and what little there is is very personally biased against it.
To piggy back off of the above, the author barely adds in a section on transitioning from cosleeping to solitary sleeping and the few paragraphs that do cover this subject are not evidence based or even very helpful. The author says simply that it’s harder to transition to solitary sleep if you’ve been cosleeping or bedsharing for the first year or more of life (which is the recommendation of this book). And when you do transition, there’s not much the author can tell you on how to do this. It’s a few vague tips that involve understanding your child may not fully move over for an unspecified amount of time (weeks? Months? Years? Will my toddler be 4 and wanting to sleep in my bed with me still? If I don’t let her will she “cry it out” - a method this author is vehemently opposed to and claims will do a lot of harm to her?) Other than that the author suggests using bribes to transition your child, such as with the excitement of having a new bed or their own room. These suggestions are vague at best and unhelpful at worst. I almost feel like I have to read another book on transitioning from cosleeping to solitary, when it could have been easily covered in this book had the author decided it was important enough to research.
Overall a good book on safe cosleeping and bedsharing. Would recommend as a supplemental read to make sure you have all the safety facts before making any decisions. I would not suggest this be your only book on infant sleep as it is very biased and lacks information on other options including sleep training or transitioning to solitary sleep.
February 7, 2021
A much needed book detailing safe ways to co-sleep with your baby. I admit I'm a little biased, as I fell into bed sharing (or more accurately breastsleeping, as Dr. McKenna terms it) with my first and have never looked back (also McKenna set up his sleep lab at my alma mater). The idea that sleeping with your baby in your bed while nursing them is seen as radical in the Western world baffled me once I began the practice and immediately got more sleep and bonded with my kids on a whole new level. That said, as McKenna cautions in the book, each family will have to determine what is right for them and there are many circumstances where your child will be safer in their own sleep space. What I like most about this book is, while it's a little dry, it makes a case for another way of practicing infant sleep, making it a viable, scientific-backed method. The more options available for exhausted parents, the better, I say.
March 21, 2023
Pour tous les parents qui décident en pleine conscience de faire le partage du lit. L’ouvrage est bien vulgarisé, rapide à lire et on y apprend tous les facteurs à prendre en compte pour partager le lit de façon sécuritaire avec bébé. J’ai beaucoup aimé le chapitre sur le syndrome de la mort subite du nourrisson, qui soutient notre compréhension des facteurs de risques et l’impact réel du partage du lit sur cela.
February 8, 2023
Read this if you need to be convinced bedsharing is safe. If you are already on board, skip this book as there’s really no actionable information here.
September 18, 2025
I think this is an important book and stresses the importance of not shaming parents who co sleep, and instead educating people on how to do so safely. I did find that he just took the opposite side, and kind of tried to scare people into co sleeping (or breast sleeping) reiterating how breast feeding protects against SIDS, which I find to be a dishonest argument to harp on over and over again since the rates of SIDS is very low for all babies, in general. I guess the author felt he had to fight the other side by going as hard as they have for many decades, shaming parents who co sleep. I like that he laid out safe ways to co sleep, but wish he would have focused more on this aspect and less on his marketing for breast feeding. He should have had breast feeding in the title so those who aren’t capable of breast feeding could skip the book. The author doesn’t acknowledge that we live in a society that unfortunately doesn’t value child rearing and puts profit above it, so most people don’t have the luxury to do extended breast feeding or not sleep training their children. Most Americans at least, have to return to work 6 weeks postpartum making this almost impossible to do. I walked away from this book more educated, but with a bad taste in my mouth because of the structural issues that stand in the way of implementing his his recommendations. But I guess that’s not his problem, which is why I’m still giving the book 4 stars.
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