Hello Lovelies!: A Novel

by Hayley DeRoche

For fans of Sophie Kinsella and Kevin Kwan comes a laugh-out-loud debut that takes listeners inside the cutthroat world of mommy blogging.

Ruthie St. James - formerly a political communications strategist, currently a stay-at-home mom, and all of a sudden friendless after her daughter's peanut butter cookie sends another toddler to the hospital - needs a break. And when she wins an all-expenses paid cruise vacation with her idol, the superstar mommy blogger Jesca Pine, she can't wait to connect with other moms IRL. But the cruise is not the Instagram-worthy getaway Ruthie had in mind: firstly, the other bloggers aren't here to make friends - they're here to impress a major talent agent who's been spotted on the ship, and they'll do just about anything to get her attention. On top of that, someone aboard keeps leaking scandalous (and off-brand) stories to an unforgiving gossip site, and Jesca's losing her followers as quickly as her sanity. All this leaves Ruthie walking on eggshells, and after a scandal of her own, she only has one more chance to salvage her vacation: using her political savvy to negotiate with the team of ruthless saboteurs behind Jesca Pine's demise...Jesca's own teenage daughters.

Hello Lovelies! is a joyous, irreverent debut about friendship, motherhood, and what it takes to survive and thrive in today's digital world.

Genres: Chick Lit, Audiobook, Fiction, Humor

Audible Audio

Published May 23, 2019

About the author

Hayley DeRoche's work has been featured in McSweeney's, Audible and more; she is the creator of the viral "Sad Beige Werner Herzog" TikTok series, praised by the BBC as "skewering...very funny...hysterical" and by John Green as "incredible," in addition to being featured in The Washington Post's THE LIST, The Wall Street Journal, The Guardian, Yahoo! News, Mom.com, Today's Parent, and Hyperallergic, and others. She lives in Petersburg, Virginia.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know that we have all heard of a beach read but what about a beach listen? I’ve never really thought about any particular audiobooks being perfect for vacation but while I was listening to this one I kept thinking that this would be ideal! It was the perfect blend of humor and lighthearted fun to make this is an incredibly easy listen and one that I enjoyed immensely.

I’m no stranger to online mommy drama, I’m not sure there is any way to avoid it if you’re raising young children today so that’s what initially caught my eye with this one. Throw in a cruise with influential mommy bloggers and my drama radar is beeping loud and clear! This poked fun at the mommy wars in a snarky way that seriously made me cackle. It’s over the top dramatic in the best and most fun way, I can’t even tell you how many times I was dying laughing.

The narration was fantastic, there were lots of excerpts from blog posts, podcasts and various social media sites and there were many fitting sound effects included to help keep things straight. It was a fun added touch that I appreciated and definitely helped to keep things from being confusing.

Overall I really, really liked this one and would most definitely read another book from the author, it was super fun and a really great listen!

Hello Lovelies! in three words: Snarky, Witty and Hilarious

[Katy O. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I admire the effort and the attempt to take on the cutthroat world of competitive blogging and parenting, but too much about it just drove me INSANE. There's one particular transgression in the book that was dealt with way too lightly in my opinion and never adequately addressed. Like I said, I appreciate the topic, but not the execution.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 5

Hello Lovelies!: A Novel by Hayley DeRoche, narrated by Emily Baueris, is an incredibly fun and drama-filled look at the world of mommy blogging.

What it's about: Ruthie St. James needs a break. Once a communications strategist for political campaigns, she is now a stay-at-home mom who has just found herself friendless due to a peanut butter cookie fiasco. So she is thrilled when she wins an all-expenses paid cruise with one of her favorite mommy bloggers Jesca Pine. But what she was hoping would be a chance to connect with other moms and a chance to befriend Jesca, turns into a scandalous trip full of backstabbing, cheating, and what could end up being her own demise.

I really can't stress enough how fun of a read Hello Lovelies! is. I may not be a mom, but the world of mommy blogging just took over my life while I was listening to this book and I loved it. If you are into drama, then this will be absolutely perfect because there is an immense amount of it! I also consider this to be the perfect beach listen. There are parts that had me in hysterics and since it has enough drama to sink a ship, what better time to listen than on the beach?

I have been reading a lot of thrillers lately due to it almost being Halloween and listening to Hello Lovelies! was a great way to break them up. I listened to it every time I was in my car or doing something that wouldn't distract me from the narrator. Ruthie was such a great character, and the majority of the mommy bloggers were just so ridiculous that it seemed to even out quite nicely. I also really enjoyed the addition of other media and sounds in the audio which made it even more fun.

Song/s the book brought to mind: Backstabber by Kesha and Drama by AJR

Final Thought: If you want drama, then you want to listen to Hello Lovelies!. Emily Baueris was a great narrator, and I loved the way DeRoche wrote this book. If you are a mom or even a blogger, I think you will really appreciate the story it tells. The world of social media makes people feel insignificant and like they are doing everything wrong, when in fact no one is perfect, and I think Hello Lovelies! does a great job of getting that point across. Such a light and humorous but important read, and I can't wait to see what DeRoche comes up with next!

Thank you to Audible for providing me with a copy of this audiobook! All opinions and thoughts are my own.

[Hayley DeRoche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving this 5 (very biased!) stars!

[Knobby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not much for audiobooks, but the premise of this one was so intriguing and the reviews so good that I had to give it a listen. The story follows Ruthie, a former political communications strategist, now an unfulfilled and lonely stay-at-home mom. She is a fangirl of influencer Jesca Pine and wins a cruise giveaway hosted by the blogger. Ruthie hopes that she'll make new mom friends on the cruise, but she doesn't expect the level of backstabbing and cattiness she encounters while on on vacation, nor did she think she'd deal with Jesca's rebelling teenaged twins who are fed up with being used as blog fodder for all of their lives. Ruthie pulls out her old communications strategist skills to try to diplomatically fix the crisis between Jesca and her daughters. (There's also a bit where Ruthie makes a really bad judgment with a bartender, but we don't need to talk about that.)

This was a nice, lighthearted read with a subject that has intrigued me (and which is why I read books like The Book of Essie or Just for Clicks). Blogs have been around for over a decade now, and the babies of bloggers who have grown under the spotlight are now old enough to understand that their privacy have been violated for their entire lives. What happens when they say "no more"? Granted, this book wasn't exactly about that — I believe the focus was supposed to be on mothers and the huge upheavals of their personal and professional lives once children are in the picture — but I still really liked this particular angle of this book.

I found myself giggling at a lot of the story, especially the ridiculous Nadine (of Na-DINING dot com). Spy Felicia was a totally spot-on example of a hate-reader's blog and I loved her snark. I loved Kelsey the artist, that warm-hearted lady! The narrator did an amazing job of varying her voices and accents to suit each character, and the little sound effects (like one for text, one for email, etc.) were a nice touch.

Def recommend!

[kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

Who is this written for? It is much more irritating than fun and the characters are all unlikable (and not in an engaging Olive Kitteridge sort of way).

[Mackenzie Marrow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok confession I am a big fan of DeRoche's tiktok account (@sadbeige), go follow it's incredible.

Hello Lovelies! is a really interesting look into the mommy blog-o-sphere pre-tiktok era and I think that's something to absolutely keep in mind when reading. Nowadays when I think of "mommy influencers" I think of tiktokers basically selling every second of their child's life, and while that was an issue (obviously) before tiktok, I don't think it was as malicious as it is now.

That being said, going into this book and knowing the author through her videos, I fully expected a revenge porn style book about moms who take advantage of their children getting their asses FULLY handed to them and get their independence. But, sadly, Hello Lovelies is based more in reality and is more nuanced than that. Written from the perspective of a small-time mommy blogger, we spend more time knowing the moms behind the blogs who are doing their best than the children who want out. At times, it feels like the book is more on the side of the moms than the girls fighting against an abusive parent. It is a much more generous take on the industry, but gives it a firm talking to.

There were a few plot lines that we kinda left behind, and the consequences for taking advantage of your children didn't seem steep enough for me (though there was an epic fight scene). But an awesome first novel.

And I heard that DeRoche will be publishing more books, so maybe I will get my gratuitous mom shaming I am foaming at the mouth for. (sorry boss babes)

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, my darlings! This book!

By turns hilarious and heartbreaking, skewering, fun, sharp-witted, and self-deprecating, I loved every minute of it. Anybody who enjoys (or abhors, or is in any way fascinated by) internet culture would enjoy this book—not just people who happen to be mothers or bloggers. The setting of a cruise was a fun departure, and I enjoyed exploring the cutthroat world of online drama in this microcosm (and all the accusations and arrogance and self-satisfied haterade that entails).

My only complaint is that the audio format isn't the absolute best possible way to suit this book's epistolary format and various transitions between listening to what someone's typing, a blog post read aloud, actual in-person dialog, etc. etc. But I think they tried to alleviate this as best they could with little audio cues that gave you context, which I appreciated. And hey, maybe this means I would just really love to get my hands on a print version someday!

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book.

From the perspective that it's audio-only, I think it's worth noting it is VERY well produced. I loved the subtle extra effects like clicks, ticks, and dings when electronic communication is happening, and the very distant bustle of a coffee shop in one scene. The narrator was great.

The celebrity blogging culture and its pillars of fame and hashtag-spon-con-revenue-generation felt super real, and having lived adjacent to that culture for a decade... de Roche nailed it.

I love that the characters were complicated (or, you know... actual humans). My allegiances switched multiple times, which is a feat for an author to accomplish in a 1st person story.

Here's the spoiler, and my only nitpick about the book: Ruthie kisses a dude who isn't her husband, and I get why she did it. But it's not settled on the page (in your earbuds?) how she resolved that with her husband. Ruthie role-plays the conversation she needs to have with him with a friend, and she described how she was able to minimize the publicity of her actions, but the "hard part" of fixing her shit felt glossed over. (It occurred to me as I was needling this point that, were the MC in the book a dude, and he'd done exactly what she'd done, I probably would be more inclined to give him a pass with how it was resolved. I don't have the brain power to interrogate that more in this review... I'm just sayin' it's a thing.)

Aside from that, I thought it was a darkly funny sendup of modern mom life and the blogosphere. Too real man, too real.

[Kandise · Rating 5 out of 5]

So funny. I laughed out loud multiple times; the hashtag jokes in particular were the gift that kept on giving. At my precise intersection of motherhood, old school internet communities, communications work, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it feels written for me.

[Libby Chennell · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book, ugh. I was so disappointed by it. So many issues with this as an anti-feminist work masquerading as one.

The message is that, rather than support each other in motherhood, women should gossip and tear each other down (it's not ok if you're a genuinely good person but if you're not a likable woman, are short so you take bad insta photos -WHAT??- etc. etc., by all means, rip in and feel entitled to expose a woman's ugliness vs. letting them be to work out their own problems or encouraging their positive traits and behaviors).

I also get exploring sexuality after motherhood, feeling undesirable and craving attention, but choosing infidelity and then blaming it on the man involved as 100% his fault, then walking away and dusting your shoulders off is not ok.

I could go on and on. Not good.

[Janie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining and parts are really funny! 4 stars!

[Mercedes Fassero · Rating 3 out of 5]

So on the one hand I couldn’t stand a single character (not A. SINGLE. ONE.) but on the other hand I still wanted to know what was going to happen next so there’s that.

Overall, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this one ...

[Jessica Mccolgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Where do I even begin? This book was very irritating, as it was told through the lens of a driven mother who *only* cared about the career she once had and what other moms think of her, and not her 3yo or the demise of her marriage. Like, what? Not relatable, or likable. Very self-absorbed.

First, I *absolutely* can relate to the pull of wanting and needing to be the mom AND to keep my identity in my established career that I miss. That is exactly where I am in my life right now. But I *also* am very much a mom and care very much about my kids and would miss them and even feel pangs of guilt if I spent a week away from them on a tip, even if a week away is just what I want (and need). I’d also have a little anxiety about whether my kids were getting their needs met to the level that is required for a three year old while I was away. Not saying Graham couldn’t do that, but this is depicted like Ruthie is the default parent. I couldn’t imagine going completely off the grid with no thoughts about it. Regardless of how good a parent you are, if you aren’t the default parent, you simply wouldn’t know all the idiosyncrasies of kids schedules and needs bc you don’t need to pay attention to those details when someone else does—which is why it makes no sense none of this crosses her mind. All that aside, she simply never contacts her daughter just to check in— unrealistic. Her only thoughts about Birdie are of how much of an inconvenience she is in relation to her career. Um, ok. I don’t think this book captures the full 360 perspective of the complexity of emotions of motherhood. It only captures the “pining-away” for a career. That’s it.

Second, where was the dynamic and normal thought process about her marriage? Instead of freaking out about how she potentially ruined her home life, she is obsessing over how it will look online for her old political career, and worrying about a very self-absorbed mom blogger who so clearly doesn’t care about Ruthie at all. Then, it takes her what feels like decades to realize Wes is not good for her. She only comes to this conclusion when he dismisses her woes... and not when it’s displayed online for the world to see. Again, unrealistic. My eyes are rolling so far back into my head.

This book had a very interesting format and story to tell, the behind the scenes of mom bloggers (which in this book, were all unlikeable) and the pull of motherhood and work and marriage—but the way the story unfolded majorly missed the mark.

[Ali M · Rating 2 out of 5]

2**Stars
This book was awful. It was so whiny. Woe is me! I cannot have it all! Me! Me! Me! I have a beautiful, healthy child, a loving supportive husband, but everything is not perfect in my life and I want to return to a “career” that is a net negative for society and you get to listen to me to complain about it all. Oh and by the way it’s the fault of men. Men are awful.

Ugh. There were so many things wrong with this book aside from the incessant whininess. This girl needs a major reality check. You cannot always get what you want in life, there is a lot of compromise involved as we navigate the world. That includes in your marriage. You cannot have it all, at least not at the same time. You cannot have a hard charging career and children, but you can do one and then the next. Choices! Make good choices and then live with them like a grown up.

Speaking of good choices, it’s a really bad idea to cheat on your husband, but an even worse idea to have that splashed all over social media. This little episode did not make our lead more likeable or relatable. It made her repulsive. Just like her raging against men (Wes – her extramarital fling) made her repulsive. Even though there takes two to tango and he was just trying to help and she was solely responsible for the situation she found herself in, it was somehow all her fault.

This storyline and the main characters had nothing to much to recommend it. It was a reminder that American culture is toxic to marriage and there is nothing lovely about that.

[Tina Pendergraph · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m really disappointed in this book for a few reasons. The language - A LOT of F bombs and God D - - - from these blogger moms. None of the women I spend time with (or men for that matter) use the level of profanity that was in this book. I’m also disappointed in the handling of the emotional/partially physical affair of the main character. Ruthie St. James really didn’t seem to feel much remorse for what she did nor did she make it a priority to contact her husband when a picture was posted of her and her cruise boyfriend. She was more concerned about helping one of the other blogger moms resolve issues with her daughters than she was about the fact that she needed to head off the damage to her marriage. This storyline was essentially left unresolved. So disappointing to broach the subject of a new mom feeling disconnected from her spouse, making a mistake when away and then never seeing the storyline through to resolution.

[RuthAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Audible for my free review copy of this audiobook!

My friend, Hayley, wrote this fun, smart novel about the internet subcultures of blogging and social media! The story is light, but I think it explores deeper questions we all wrestle with on social media: image curation, authenticity, motivation. I would definitely be interested to hear others' thoughts on it! The audio production is fantastic, with excellent narration and sound effects that help differentiate the various electronic forms of communication at play (texting, blogging, Instagram, etc). If you are looking for a summer read, be sure to check this one out! (I would suggest private earbud listening; this one isn't for a roadtrip with kiddos!)

[Kamel Dupuis-Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a funny, and delightful look at the cutthroat world of mommy bloggers and influencers. I really believe crazy things like those in this story happen IRL all the time. The audiobook was the perfect length, with a fantastic performance by the narrator. She really sold the story, mood, characters and her use of words like “amazeballs” felt like such a natural fit to the whole thing. Would recommend to anyone interested in gossipy stories about web savvy, entrepreneurial women.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO MUCH FUN. Fun characters, great story, and some really wonderful, open moments about motherhood. A great mix of humor and heart.

Confession: my friend Hayley wrote this, but I would’ve loved it regardless.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is seriously so frustrating. SO. Frustrating. I have technical writing gripes and problems with the plot itself.

The technical problems:
There are several parts with repetitive turns of phrase. Often happening within the same paragraph.

The plot:
I hated the MC. Which is a real issue when it's a first person POV. Here's the thing, I normally love a problematic character, and I don't need or want a perfect character, but Ruthie was so delusional and oblivious that it set my teeth on edge. She thinks she's so much better than the fellow mom bloggers on the trip, but she is *just like them*. She spent a majority of the book trying to be a part of the friend group despite mentally judging them and pointing out what terrible and vapid women they were.
Additionally, the book repeated over and over again how much she misses her career as a communications director in politics to the point where it started making me wonder why she had a kid in the first place. I get that many people have children and careers and the system makes it pretty fucking impossible for women to do both; however, Ruthie described such a specific career trajectory that it was obvious she never really thought about how having a baby would affect that. So is she really delusional enough to think that having a baby wouldn't have changed anything? Then she spent the entire book whining about it which left me thinking "what the fuck did you think was going to happen??" I would've liked even a small blurb about why Ruthie and her husband decided to have a kid in the first place or maybe she hadn't intend to get pregnant but decided she wanted to keep the baby. Just some sort of explanation as to why Ruthie had a kid because she talked about how Birdie was an impetus to her career the entire time as if she wasn't the one to have a baby in the first place.

***Spoiler***

She also cheated on her husband because she was so unhappy in her marriage, and she justified doing so by calling it some feminist sexual liberation moment. On top of that, she wasn't even apologetic after it was found out. She didn't think about how her husband might feel or how this would affect her daughter and their family. All she cared about was how it would affect her future career and her online presence. She calls herself a decent person but didn't even feel the need to apologize for cheating.

[Kelsi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was just what I needed right now - lighthearted, relatable and fun. But it also got me thinking about bigger questions of social media influencers, privacy for children, and parenting in the internet age. I truly sympathized with the children of the mommy bloggers, as they tired of having their personal lives discussed online and sponsored as part of their mother's brand. I did not care for the main character. She whined endlessly and made dumb decision after dumb decision. But - as a working mom - I appreciated her perspective on stay-at-home motherhood and found it at least understandable, if not relatable.

[MissPosabule · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5 stars

The reason this book has such low ratings isn't because of the quality of the writing but rather because the main character briefly cheats on her husband with a hot bartender, and the narrative is mostly "eh whatever" about it. It's just a kiss, and she comes to her senses soon, but it is an admittedly sleazy thing to do, and we don't get to see how the husband reacts (he's not exactly a character in this story).

Sometimes the mommy drama is fun, other times, it's incredibly stressful. I think the message is pretty clear though: maybe don't pimp out every moment of your and your kids' lives for profit.

[Mrs Camp · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me hooked from the first sentence to the last.

Excellent storytelling and fast paced plot make this an absolute page turner, or binge listen, as this is the perfect book to listen to while taking care of those pesky chores.
Hello Lovelies is draws us into a story so finely written, we the reader become engaged in the drama of the cut throat blogging industry, while allowing the reader to live vicariously sipping mimosas in vacation paradise. Be careful what you wish for.

[Rea · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was honestly really really bad and I don’t know why I finished it. Did you know that social media isn’t actually representative of real life? If that’s a new concept to you, then this book might actually be useful! Otherwise, save your 9 hours or whatever it was.

Actually, just go spend the 9 hours scrolling the author’s instagram posts on @sadbeige that has absolutely nothing to do with this train wreck and is actually well thought out and entertaining.

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was interesting… as a blogger and as a mom, there was plenty to relate to. It attempts to make commentary on mommy blogging, and there are plenty of things it gets right but also plenty of things it glosses over. Jessica’s kids are made out to be brats when their concerns are completely valid. There are zero likeable characters. The MC’s storyline isn’t resolved at all. I wouldn’t recommend this.

[McKenzie McWhorter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was funny and lighthearted with an important concept at the heart of the book, the thought of how much our children are posted online.

I think Hayley did a great job of tackling the dark side of mommy blogging while keeping it funny. The drama was ridiculous at times but I've heard of almost all of it in the real world too.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely 4.5 stars! A great book about the stay at home mom, mommy blogging life. I could totally relate to this book in so many ways! A funny story to make you feel like a normal mom, just like everyone else!

[Bailey T. Hurley · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s so many things I enjoyed about this story but there were some character developments that were difficult to believe. The main character prioritizes everything over being a wife or mother and it’s hard to believe she’s help everyone with their problems over her own.

[Evie Ebert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sharp and witty, with heart.

[Jina with a J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not my kind of genre, but if you’re into this type of fiction it’s good.