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Queer: The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens
Teen life is hard enough, but for teens who are LGBTQ, it can be even harder.
When do you decide to come out? Will your friends accept you? And how do you meet people to date? Queer is a humorous, engaging, and honest guide that helps LGBTQ teens come out to friends and family, navigate their social life, figure out if a crush is also queer, and challenge bigotry and homophobia. Personal stories from the authors and sidebars on queer history provide relatable context. This completely revised and updated edition is a must-read for any teen who thinks they might be queer or knows someone who is.
A delightful collection of trustworthy and accurate information that tweens and teens need today, all told in a sort of quirky, sometimes goofy, and always approachable tone...a fun, easy to read, and occasionally hilarious guide that should be available on a shelf in every high school library.
--Diane Anderson-Minshall, Editorial Director, The Advocate magazine
Not every queer kid has easy access to a family member, teacher, counselor, or friend who can help them through the coming-out process. Even when they do, NEWSFLASH, most of us don't have all the answers! Queer is a great way for a teen, or someone who is trying to mentor or understand a queer teen, to gain some knowledge from a thoughtful, cute perspective.--Honey Mahogany, Activist, RuPaul's Drag Race Alumnus, Cofounder of the Compton's Transgender Cultural District
I learned more than a few things about our fabulously diverse queer culture, and especially the younger generation, that everyone should know.--Terry Beswick, Executive Director of the GLBT Historical Society Archives and Museum
When do you decide to come out? Will your friends accept you? And how do you meet people to date? Queer is a humorous, engaging, and honest guide that helps LGBTQ teens come out to friends and family, navigate their social life, figure out if a crush is also queer, and challenge bigotry and homophobia. Personal stories from the authors and sidebars on queer history provide relatable context. This completely revised and updated edition is a must-read for any teen who thinks they might be queer or knows someone who is.
A delightful collection of trustworthy and accurate information that tweens and teens need today, all told in a sort of quirky, sometimes goofy, and always approachable tone...a fun, easy to read, and occasionally hilarious guide that should be available on a shelf in every high school library.
--Diane Anderson-Minshall, Editorial Director, The Advocate magazine
Not every queer kid has easy access to a family member, teacher, counselor, or friend who can help them through the coming-out process. Even when they do, NEWSFLASH, most of us don't have all the answers! Queer is a great way for a teen, or someone who is trying to mentor or understand a queer teen, to gain some knowledge from a thoughtful, cute perspective.--Honey Mahogany, Activist, RuPaul's Drag Race Alumnus, Cofounder of the Compton's Transgender Cultural District
I learned more than a few things about our fabulously diverse queer culture, and especially the younger generation, that everyone should know.--Terry Beswick, Executive Director of the GLBT Historical Society Archives and Museum
208 pages, Library Binding
Published October 1, 2019
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May 4, 2024
April 2024 update: Apparently there's a new edition of this book. The below review applies to the first edition published in 2011.
I don't know whether they fixed it, but I'll be excited to check it out from the library now that I'm a grown adult with a degree in Gender Studies.
------------------------------
"A little different than bisexuals, pansexuals [sic] people are attracted to not only boys and girls, but people who identify as transgender." - Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens, page 14
I think this definition is wrong because it implies that transgender people aren't truly men/women because they were born blah blah. I think a better definition would be one that explains that pansexual people are attracted to people who identify as male, female, or are genderqueer or genderfluid or completely outside the binary. (I acknowledge that the definition of pansexual is an ongoing debate; I just think that there are better definitions of pansexual than the one provided by this book. I also have the nagging suspicion that if the authors, a lesbian and a gay man, had consulted any trans, bi or pan people, this definition would have been altered.)
Apart from that, a very comprehensive and helpful book. I'd recommend this to any queer or questioning teenager.
I don't know whether they fixed it, but I'll be excited to check it out from the library now that I'm a grown adult with a degree in Gender Studies.
------------------------------
"A little different than bisexuals, pansexuals [sic] people are attracted to not only boys and girls, but people who identify as transgender." - Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens, page 14
I think this definition is wrong because it implies that transgender people aren't truly men/women because they were born blah blah. I think a better definition would be one that explains that pansexual people are attracted to people who identify as male, female, or are genderqueer or genderfluid or completely outside the binary. (I acknowledge that the definition of pansexual is an ongoing debate; I just think that there are better definitions of pansexual than the one provided by this book. I also have the nagging suspicion that if the authors, a lesbian and a gay man, had consulted any trans, bi or pan people, this definition would have been altered.)
Apart from that, a very comprehensive and helpful book. I'd recommend this to any queer or questioning teenager.
Read
June 11, 2021Disclaimer: I do not pretend to be an expert in these identities that I am discussing. I am simply an angry aroace who wrote a rant review. If any of the language or stuff I say is incorrect, please tell me (politely) and I will fix it.
This book is mainly geared at lesbian, gay, and trans youth and isn't the best resource if you are a questioning teen. There is misinformation and some identities are barely touched on, if at all. I think it would have been better if instead of glossing over each identity, have authors who identify with the identities write a piece on that. Then collect them all and put it together. That would be a resource I would use and enjoy having on my bookshelf for both my own identites and research for others.
My problem with this book stems from misinformation and lack of representation from nonbinary, aromantic, asexual, pansexual, etc voices.
Asexuality and Aromanticism
Some of this stuff *is* true, just not all of it. The demisexual part is true and completely valid, but explaining that the person is asexual until they have a bond is necessary because people claim that they are demisexual or say that everyone is demisexual and we should be moving to accept all orientations not push them away. It also only scrapes the surface of demisexuality and doesn't even go into the discrimination asexuals/aromantics face both in and out of the community. There are also other identities on the asexual and the aromantic spectrums like demiromantic, greyromantic/sexual, etc. Those could have been explained and just the sentence "it's a spectrum and different people experience different things" would have been nice.
The really really bad thing about this paragraph is that it says that asexuality and aromanticism are the same thing WHICH IS NOT TRUE. They may look the same on the surface, both don't experience a form of attractions but aromantic people don't experience romantic attraction and never will, asexual people don't experience sexual attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction are different things and should be treated as such. Someone can be panromantic and asexual or omnisexual and aromantic and that is completely valid and okay. Your romantic and sexual attractions can be different and fluxuate over time and none of this was explained in the book which ticks me off.
There is actually an identity called ace-jump where someone is normally allosexual (feels sexual attraction for other people) and then gets rare bursts of asexuality. But saying that asexuality is basically a choice is not okay. There is a difference between not being interested in sex and not being able to feel sexual attraction, so comparing the two doesn't make sense and it's passing the information that asexual people are "just not interested in sex" and "they just haven't met the right person". Both of which are not true and an allosexual person feels sexual attraction whether they are interested in sex or not, asexual people cannot feel sexual attraction whether they want to have sex or not.
Pansexuality and Bisexuality
Bisexuals can be attracted to nonbinary people. Bisexuality just means you are attracted to two or more genders, but not all of them. Some people are only attracted to men and women, but others are attracted to nonbinary people and the same gender, nonbinary people and the opposite gender. There are different combinations of bisexuality and all of them are valid and beautiful, not just men and women.
One, this is the entire paragraph explaining pansexuality. Does no one see the problem with that? The lesbian and gay ones were at least double the size. Not exactly equal representation. Two, bisexual people can be attracted to more than men and women so there's no point mentioning "beyond men or women". Pansexuality is being sexually attracted to someone regardless of that person's gender. It's not being attracted to pans, having sex in pans, or any of the other ridiculous things people say. They are not more likely to cheat just because they are attracted to more than one gender in this heteronormative society, just like bisexual people. The authors could have done so much more. Explaining and debunking pansexual myths or just having a pansexual person write the thing would've have helped the information to be better and more concise.
Nonbinary
The paragraph about being nonbinary was actually pretty good and I don't have much to say about it. But the actions of being inclusive to those who use they/them pronouns was not shown. Most of the examples used he, she, or he/she in the sentence instead of simply using they/them to include any and all genders. Instead of When you think of him:, the authors could have said, When you think of them:. It makes sense in the sentence and includes male, female, nonbinary, etc in the quiz. It's a simple switch in language that makes people feel a bit more comfortable and validated in their gender identity. The authors could have also had a trans or nonbinary person write a story from their lives to help questioning teens with their identity crisis and help them to feel less alone.
Sex, Dating, Finding the Right Person
I've never been in a relationship, so I don't know how accurate the relationship advice is but it basically told me most of the stuff my health teachers have told me in the past. Talk out your problems, don't meet people you met online privately in person, don't send nudes, etc. Though the sex chapter in the back goes much more into depth than my sex ed ever did and it gave me a lot of informationt that I never needed to know nor am I ever going to use. But that may be helpful to the teens (or adults) who have found their identity and want to have safer sex.
Slurs
The d-slur, f-slur, and queer were used in this book and the book talked about these terms were now being used in a liberating way instead of a degrogatory way. But the authors should have also made it clear that if you don't identify in those specific communities, you shouldn't use those terms because people are still very sensitive to them and it's disrespectful.
Miscellaneous
The art in this book is adorable and fits right in with the writing. It's simplistic and cute and an excuse for me to gush in an angry review. The list of resources in the back with descriptions of each website was nice and helpful.
In conclusion, this book isn't worth your time or money. Most of the information about sex and dating can be found online or from trusted lgbtq+ people in your life. The internet is a very helpful tool to start with when questioning your sexual orientation and gender identity. You don't need to rush to find an identity and it can change overtime so don't worry and take your time.
Resources
Advocates for Youth
The Trevor Project
Bisexual Resource Center
The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network
LGBTA Wiki
Gender Spectrum
LGBT National Help Center
This book is mainly geared at lesbian, gay, and trans youth and isn't the best resource if you are a questioning teen. There is misinformation and some identities are barely touched on, if at all. I think it would have been better if instead of glossing over each identity, have authors who identify with the identities write a piece on that. Then collect them all and put it together. That would be a resource I would use and enjoy having on my bookshelf for both my own identites and research for others.
My problem with this book stems from misinformation and lack of representation from nonbinary, aromantic, asexual, pansexual, etc voices.
Asexuality and Aromanticism
An asexual or aromantic person is someone who is not sexually attracted to other people, no matter their gender. Asexual people can still date, have relationships, masterbate and even have sex. It's just that they generally identify with not being sexually attracted to others. Aromantics are not interested in romantic relatioknships with anyone, regardless of gender or orientation. Demisexual people are those who must form an emotional connection to someone before they can be sexually attracted to them.
Some of this stuff *is* true, just not all of it. The demisexual part is true and completely valid, but explaining that the person is asexual until they have a bond is necessary because people claim that they are demisexual or say that everyone is demisexual and we should be moving to accept all orientations not push them away. It also only scrapes the surface of demisexuality and doesn't even go into the discrimination asexuals/aromantics face both in and out of the community. There are also other identities on the asexual and the aromantic spectrums like demiromantic, greyromantic/sexual, etc. Those could have been explained and just the sentence "it's a spectrum and different people experience different things" would have been nice.
The really really bad thing about this paragraph is that it says that asexuality and aromanticism are the same thing WHICH IS NOT TRUE. They may look the same on the surface, both don't experience a form of attractions but aromantic people don't experience romantic attraction and never will, asexual people don't experience sexual attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction are different things and should be treated as such. Someone can be panromantic and asexual or omnisexual and aromantic and that is completely valid and okay. Your romantic and sexual attractions can be different and fluxuate over time and none of this was explained in the book which ticks me off.
People who identify as asexual actually never feel sexually attracted to other people,, and they still lead full and healthy lives. (Many people, queer and straight, go through asexual periods in their lives too, where they aren't interested in sex for a few months or even years.)
There is actually an identity called ace-jump where someone is normally allosexual (feels sexual attraction for other people) and then gets rare bursts of asexuality. But saying that asexuality is basically a choice is not okay. There is a difference between not being interested in sex and not being able to feel sexual attraction, so comparing the two doesn't make sense and it's passing the information that asexual people are "just not interested in sex" and "they just haven't met the right person". Both of which are not true and an allosexual person feels sexual attraction whether they are interested in sex or not, asexual people cannot feel sexual attraction whether they want to have sex or not.
Pansexuality and Bisexuality
Some people who are attracted to men and women call themselves bisexual or bi. Some people think bisexuals are equally attracted to both men and women, but this is not necessarily the case. If you are open to dating both men and women, even if you prefer on sex over the other, then you may identify as bisexual.
Bisexuals can be attracted to nonbinary people. Bisexuality just means you are attracted to two or more genders, but not all of them. Some people are only attracted to men and women, but others are attracted to nonbinary people and the same gender, nonbinary people and the opposite gender. There are different combinations of bisexuality and all of them are valid and beautiful, not just men and women.
A little different from bisexuals, pansexual people are attracted to all genders across the spectrum, beyond just men or women. Or they can be attracted to someone regardless of their gender. Pansexuality acknowledges the idea that gender is fluid. Some people simplify this by simply saying they are queer, but for others the label of pansexual feels more descriptive.
One, this is the entire paragraph explaining pansexuality. Does no one see the problem with that? The lesbian and gay ones were at least double the size. Not exactly equal representation. Two, bisexual people can be attracted to more than men and women so there's no point mentioning "beyond men or women". Pansexuality is being sexually attracted to someone regardless of that person's gender. It's not being attracted to pans, having sex in pans, or any of the other ridiculous things people say. They are not more likely to cheat just because they are attracted to more than one gender in this heteronormative society, just like bisexual people. The authors could have done so much more. Explaining and debunking pansexual myths or just having a pansexual person write the thing would've have helped the information to be better and more concise.
Nonbinary
The paragraph about being nonbinary was actually pretty good and I don't have much to say about it. But the actions of being inclusive to those who use they/them pronouns was not shown. Most of the examples used he, she, or he/she in the sentence instead of simply using they/them to include any and all genders. Instead of When you think of him:, the authors could have said, When you think of them:. It makes sense in the sentence and includes male, female, nonbinary, etc in the quiz. It's a simple switch in language that makes people feel a bit more comfortable and validated in their gender identity. The authors could have also had a trans or nonbinary person write a story from their lives to help questioning teens with their identity crisis and help them to feel less alone.
Sex, Dating, Finding the Right Person
I've never been in a relationship, so I don't know how accurate the relationship advice is but it basically told me most of the stuff my health teachers have told me in the past. Talk out your problems, don't meet people you met online privately in person, don't send nudes, etc. Though the sex chapter in the back goes much more into depth than my sex ed ever did and it gave me a lot of informationt that I never needed to know nor am I ever going to use. But that may be helpful to the teens (or adults) who have found their identity and want to have safer sex.
Slurs
The d-slur, f-slur, and queer were used in this book and the book talked about these terms were now being used in a liberating way instead of a degrogatory way. But the authors should have also made it clear that if you don't identify in those specific communities, you shouldn't use those terms because people are still very sensitive to them and it's disrespectful.
Miscellaneous
The art in this book is adorable and fits right in with the writing. It's simplistic and cute and an excuse for me to gush in an angry review. The list of resources in the back with descriptions of each website was nice and helpful.
In conclusion, this book isn't worth your time or money. Most of the information about sex and dating can be found online or from trusted lgbtq+ people in your life. The internet is a very helpful tool to start with when questioning your sexual orientation and gender identity. You don't need to rush to find an identity and it can change overtime so don't worry and take your time.
Resources
Advocates for Youth
The Trevor Project
Bisexual Resource Center
The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network
LGBTA Wiki
Gender Spectrum
LGBT National Help Center
May 4, 2020
E-arc provided by Netgalley.
This book could have been so great and at times it was but then the incorrect information on bisexuality and some confusing/unclear info on ace vs aro just brings this book right down.
In its attempts to describe the difference between being bi and pan the book says, “…pansexual people are attracted to all genders across the spectrum, beyond just men or women.” *sigh* How many bi people are going to have to yell that they too are attracted to all genders beyond just men or women before people actually listen!? Yes, there are bi people who are attracted to only men and women, but there are so many who are attracted to just women and non-binary people, or their own gender and all other genders, or any combination of people. There are so many ways to be bi and sometimes that overlaps with the definition of being pan and people choose the label that fits right for them (or sometimes both labels like I do!). I’m so tired of people refusing to listen to bi people.
And then we get the short paragraph where asexual, aroromantic, and demisexual gets all lumped together. The first sentence of this paragraph goes, “An asexual or aromantic person is someone who is not sexually attracted to other people, no matter their gender.” Yeah, that only describes asexuality, there was no need to have aromantic in that sentence. A few sentences later the books does describe being aromantic correctly but why the hell was it lumped in with asexuality in that first sentence. The last sentence is about demisexuality which is described correctly but there is absolutely no mention of the term demiromantic which is frustrating. Also no mention of gray-ace or gray-romantic.
Thankfully the later sections of this book have some great things to offer. There are sections on dating, coming out, sex, and just in general being queer. I think a lot can be gained from those sections, especially if you are a teen or somebody who is just their identity or coming out. But if you want a resource for different identities and their definitions this is not the book. I would highly recommend The ABC’s of LGBT+ by Ash Hardell (published under the name Ashley Mardell).
This book could have been so great and at times it was but then the incorrect information on bisexuality and some confusing/unclear info on ace vs aro just brings this book right down.
In its attempts to describe the difference between being bi and pan the book says, “…pansexual people are attracted to all genders across the spectrum, beyond just men or women.” *sigh* How many bi people are going to have to yell that they too are attracted to all genders beyond just men or women before people actually listen!? Yes, there are bi people who are attracted to only men and women, but there are so many who are attracted to just women and non-binary people, or their own gender and all other genders, or any combination of people. There are so many ways to be bi and sometimes that overlaps with the definition of being pan and people choose the label that fits right for them (or sometimes both labels like I do!). I’m so tired of people refusing to listen to bi people.
And then we get the short paragraph where asexual, aroromantic, and demisexual gets all lumped together. The first sentence of this paragraph goes, “An asexual or aromantic person is someone who is not sexually attracted to other people, no matter their gender.” Yeah, that only describes asexuality, there was no need to have aromantic in that sentence. A few sentences later the books does describe being aromantic correctly but why the hell was it lumped in with asexuality in that first sentence. The last sentence is about demisexuality which is described correctly but there is absolutely no mention of the term demiromantic which is frustrating. Also no mention of gray-ace or gray-romantic.
Thankfully the later sections of this book have some great things to offer. There are sections on dating, coming out, sex, and just in general being queer. I think a lot can be gained from those sections, especially if you are a teen or somebody who is just their identity or coming out. But if you want a resource for different identities and their definitions this is not the book. I would highly recommend The ABC’s of LGBT+ by Ash Hardell (published under the name Ashley Mardell).
March 2, 2020
Might be useful for other orientations, but the descriptions of asexuality leave a lot to be desired, such as when asexuality and celibacy are falsely equated. Furthermore, the definition of bisexuality as meaning only attraction to men and women, rather than the more common meaning of attraction to two or more genders, is also frustrating.
August 12, 2012
I found this book---because I feel that I need more resources in my classroom for the queer community. I have now taught Health twice to my students---and neither the textbook nor the curriculum asks for me to touch upon alternative lifestyles---nothing outside boy/girl sex. I also have students who make comments...hints rather, that they are gay....and in desperate search of an ally...and while, I am supportive, I cannot answer all questions, so this book was nabbed so that students could borrow it (though I am not sure my students would be brave enough to ask for it....we shall see).
I read this book myself and I was pleased with how--- honest, and clear it was. They touched on most areas that my students would want to know about---and then gave great advice/resources for more information. I loved the goofiness of the language....though I am not sure my ESL students would understand it. This will be on my bookshelf....hopefully just its appearance will allow my students to feel more open to other lifestyles and not be so judgemental.
I read this book myself and I was pleased with how--- honest, and clear it was. They touched on most areas that my students would want to know about---and then gave great advice/resources for more information. I loved the goofiness of the language....though I am not sure my ESL students would understand it. This will be on my bookshelf....hopefully just its appearance will allow my students to feel more open to other lifestyles and not be so judgemental.
July 1, 2021
Many people looking up a title like Queer do so because they have loads of questions, and Queer tries to answer some of these. The book does n o t have all the answers, and the authors state that in the blurb. One of the strong points of this book are the open and positive messages that every questioning teenager needs, and Queer is helpful there.
Nevertheless, I am a little disappointed that some paragraphs concerning identities are rather misleading and simply too short to explain enough, for me the most obvious ones being the entries about bisexuality and pansexuality. So, you might not want this as your only resource to look for answers, but there is definitely a lot of useful advice concerning dating, coming out, relationships, dealing with queerphobia, additional resources, and much more.
As a starting point, Queer might just help in the right moment, but due to the misleading passages I give 4 out of 5 stars.
Nevertheless, I am a little disappointed that some paragraphs concerning identities are rather misleading and simply too short to explain enough, for me the most obvious ones being the entries about bisexuality and pansexuality. So, you might not want this as your only resource to look for answers, but there is definitely a lot of useful advice concerning dating, coming out, relationships, dealing with queerphobia, additional resources, and much more.
As a starting point, Queer might just help in the right moment, but due to the misleading passages I give 4 out of 5 stars.
January 14, 2018
This is definitely a book that will help queer teens (and others) to find answers to their questions. Whether it is about coming out, dating, meeting your love's parents, and so many more things, you'll find something that might just help you get through a situation.
The texts are easy to understand, the advice is down-to-earth and manageable for teens, and the way it is written, I am sure most readers will identify thoughts and moments they have already experienced.
Apart from the solid advice, the book also has some really entertaining qualities, which is due to the cartoon-like drawings, the personal experiences the authors describe, the introductions to the different chapters, and the sometimes slightly pert way things are expressed.
I am sure I missed several positive points that should be added, but I loved the book when I read it, and as a result give 5 out of 5 stars.
The texts are easy to understand, the advice is down-to-earth and manageable for teens, and the way it is written, I am sure most readers will identify thoughts and moments they have already experienced.
Apart from the solid advice, the book also has some really entertaining qualities, which is due to the cartoon-like drawings, the personal experiences the authors describe, the introductions to the different chapters, and the sometimes slightly pert way things are expressed.
I am sure I missed several positive points that should be added, but I loved the book when I read it, and as a result give 5 out of 5 stars.
August 11, 2011
Publisher: Zest Books
Pages: 208
“It Gets Better” is a message that has wormed its way into mainstream media as a reaction to bullying and violence toward gay teens. And although this is a necessary message for young people who sexually identify as queer, or think they might be, there is not a lot of information out there telling them how to make it better. Until now.
This Queer 101 manual gives accessible and real-world advice, geared to teens, on a myriad of topics including:
- how to determine if you are queer, or are just curious,
- coming out to family and friends,
- navigating social situations and dating,
- standing up for your rights,
- information about safe sex,
- overcoming homophobia.
The authors, Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke, draw from their personal experience and professional resources to present unflappable support and guidance to young people. Queer is a humorous, engaging and honest guide that can help teens understand what it means to be queer. It offers information focused on health, community, safety, political issues, and queer history. The authors back it all up with a reading resources list.
I believe this is a fabulous resource for any teen. I remember, over forty years ago, feeling that I was the only queer in my school. And if there were others, I didn’t have a clue how to find them. The feelings of loneliness, shame, and confusion often became overwhelming. I wish I could have had this little gem of compassionate intelligence to help me along that path of discovering the fabulous, perplexing, often times scary, world that is queer life.
I believe this is a must read for all teens who identify as gay/lesbian, and also for the parents of these special young people. I think this book should be taught in high schools across the country. But don’t wait for that to happen. Grab a copy or two and give them to young people and parents who can benefit.
Pages: 208
“It Gets Better” is a message that has wormed its way into mainstream media as a reaction to bullying and violence toward gay teens. And although this is a necessary message for young people who sexually identify as queer, or think they might be, there is not a lot of information out there telling them how to make it better. Until now.
This Queer 101 manual gives accessible and real-world advice, geared to teens, on a myriad of topics including:
- how to determine if you are queer, or are just curious,
- coming out to family and friends,
- navigating social situations and dating,
- standing up for your rights,
- information about safe sex,
- overcoming homophobia.
The authors, Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke, draw from their personal experience and professional resources to present unflappable support and guidance to young people. Queer is a humorous, engaging and honest guide that can help teens understand what it means to be queer. It offers information focused on health, community, safety, political issues, and queer history. The authors back it all up with a reading resources list.
I believe this is a fabulous resource for any teen. I remember, over forty years ago, feeling that I was the only queer in my school. And if there were others, I didn’t have a clue how to find them. The feelings of loneliness, shame, and confusion often became overwhelming. I wish I could have had this little gem of compassionate intelligence to help me along that path of discovering the fabulous, perplexing, often times scary, world that is queer life.
I believe this is a must read for all teens who identify as gay/lesbian, and also for the parents of these special young people. I think this book should be taught in high schools across the country. But don’t wait for that to happen. Grab a copy or two and give them to young people and parents who can benefit.
April 18, 2023
I read this book because of a potential challenge. It took me a while to read this one. It's nonfiction so there are little stories sprinkled in, but it's mostly information. It's very informative and I could see it being really helpful for a confused or questioning teen or tween. Honestly, kids are pretty good at self-censoring so they likely wouldn't read sections that they're not ready for yet. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's up to the parents to decide what is appropriate for their children. I have no way of knowing what your particular kid is ready for. It is a library's responsibility to provide materials, not to decide who can and can't read them.
June 24, 2019
Es una buena guía para adolescentes donde se habla claro, de forma sencilla, abierta y directa de muchas cuestiones muy importantes.
Desde cómo se pueden sentir hasta el tipo de relaciones, la depresión, el sexo, las ets (una lista, cómo se contagian,lo que notas y cómo se curan), el bullying, historia de lo queer, intercalando en cada tema anécdotas reales de los dos autores .
Es una guía agradable en la que no se fuerza nada, los autore priman a la comodidad de la persona y apelan a la HONESTIDAD con una misma y con los demás:
no se tiene porqué definir con una de las siglas, ni tener sexo, ni pareja (o múltiples si todos los implicados están de acuerdo), pero, a la ve, intentando no ser prejuicioso, etc.
Además, en ebook está baratita: 2,80€ aprox.
Desde cómo se pueden sentir hasta el tipo de relaciones, la depresión, el sexo, las ets (una lista, cómo se contagian,lo que notas y cómo se curan), el bullying, historia de lo queer, intercalando en cada tema anécdotas reales de los dos autores .
Es una guía agradable en la que no se fuerza nada, los autore priman a la comodidad de la persona y apelan a la HONESTIDAD con una misma y con los demás:
no se tiene porqué definir con una de las siglas, ni tener sexo, ni pareja (o múltiples si todos los implicados están de acuerdo), pero, a la ve, intentando no ser prejuicioso, etc.
Además, en ebook está baratita: 2,80€ aprox.
January 11, 2021
This was very basic. Almost too basic. I get that it's supposed to be a beginner book, but you can't call something an "ultimate LGBT guide" and then barely touch on the B or T, much less anything else from our alphabet soup family. I want to yell DO BETTER at these authors.
May 13, 2017
Should be called Queer: The Ultimate LG Guide for teens. Useful but could use an update that includes the voices of bi and trans people.
December 8, 2022
A little outdated since published in 2011, but excellent resources and anecdotes from the authors. Also pictures!!
My favorite chapters were on queer relationships and sex. The book was informative on safety and how navigating romance as a queer person is much different than as a straight person, but neither is better or easier than the other.
My favorite chapters were on queer relationships and sex. The book was informative on safety and how navigating romance as a queer person is much different than as a straight person, but neither is better or easier than the other.
August 2, 2020
This book would not have been very helpful to me if I had read it as a lesbian teenager. Overall, the language/pop culture references in this book are very outdated and very out of touch. The strongest point of this book was when it addressed healthy dating/healthy relationships. Otherwise, it was very weak and felt very scattered.
Definitions of identities are inaccurate (specifically regarding bisexual vs pansexual) and inappropriate for the target age group (I don’t think teenagers should be presented with “leather gay” as an option for identity when leather culture is very much an adult space). Additionally, identities are presented in a reductive way—for example, saying “femme lesbians” like “shopping and chick flicks” as a key part of their identity. The section of the book covering sex—specifically, safe sex—wasn’t very clear or informative, and I feel like this book wouldn’t have been helpful to me when I was a youth trying to learn how to have safe sex.
Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this book. It had good intentions but ultimately just felt out of touch.
Definitions of identities are inaccurate (specifically regarding bisexual vs pansexual) and inappropriate for the target age group (I don’t think teenagers should be presented with “leather gay” as an option for identity when leather culture is very much an adult space). Additionally, identities are presented in a reductive way—for example, saying “femme lesbians” like “shopping and chick flicks” as a key part of their identity. The section of the book covering sex—specifically, safe sex—wasn’t very clear or informative, and I feel like this book wouldn’t have been helpful to me when I was a youth trying to learn how to have safe sex.
Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this book. It had good intentions but ultimately just felt out of touch.
June 27, 2019
While I'm sure this contains plenty of useful information, it did ultimately let me down in terms of resources and information for bi individuals. I simply couldn't get past the transphobic definition this book uses to define bisexuality. We need more books that accurately define bisexuality.
January 12, 2018
There were... a lot of gaps in terms of information. Wouldn’t recommend.
April 15, 2021
I read this to prepare for a job interview. Seemed like a fine book, but overall seemed a bit basic. Might be helpful though for Teens.
February 22, 2020
Great book with practical advice. Friendly, positive tone. This 2nd edition (2019) surely benefited from 1st edition comments and questions to yield a detailed and complete book all queer teens should read.
Queer The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke
1. . . The "Q" Word - Am I Queer
2. . . Embracing Your Queerness - Coming Out
3. . . Navigating Your Queer Sphere - Finding Your People
4. . . Rising Above - How To Overcome Queerphobia
5. . . Making Your Move - Queer Dating
6. . . Getting Together - Queer Relationships
7. . . The Big "S" - Queer Sex
Conclusion
Resources
Index
Here is a sub-listing of all the bold header topics within each chapter:
Queer The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke
1. . . The "Q" Word - Am I Queer
. . . a.. . . What does it mean to be queer?
. . . . . . i.. . . Lesbian
. . . . . . ii.. . . Gay
. . . . . . iii.. . . Bisexual
. . . . . . iv.. . . Pansexual
. . . . . . v.. . . Transgender
. . . . . . vi.. . . Nonbinary
. . . . . . vii.. . . Cisgender or Cis
. . . . . . viii.. . . Asexual, Aromantic, Demisexual
. . . . . . ix.. . . Queer
. . . b.. . . How do I know if I'm queer?
. . . c.. . . Do I have to have sex to know?
. . . d.. . . Why are people queer?
. . . . . . i.. . . What percentage of the population is queer?
. . . . . . ii.. . . What is intersex
. . . e.. . . Where are you on the sexual spectrum?
. . . f.. . . When do I need to decide if I'm queer?
2. . . Embracing Your Queerness - Coming Out
. . . a.. . . Coming out to your family
. . . b.. . . How to do it
. . . . . . i.. . . Timing is everything
. . . . . . ii.. . . Plan it out
. . . . . . iii.. . . Be patient
. . . c.. . . Help them out
. . . d.. . . Coming out as Trans
. . . e.. . . Have a Backup plan
. . . f.. . . You're not ready but they are
. . . g.. . . You're outed
. . . h.. . . You're asked to keep it a secret
. . . i.. . . Your parents won't accept the truth
. . . j.. . . Coming out at School
. . . . . . i.. . . Is you school a place you'd feel comfortable coming out?
. . . . . . ii.. . . Who do you want to come out to?
. . . . . . iii.. . . Are you ready to handle rejection?
. . . k.. . . How to do it
. . . l.. . . Carving out your new identity
. . . m.. . . If things don't go well
. . . n.. . . Finding a queer-positive counselor
. . . . . . i.. . . The internet
. . . . . . ii.. . . A local LGBTQ center
. . . . . . iii.. . . Queer-friendly publications
. . . . . . iv.. . . Insurance plans
. . . . . . v.. . . Suicide
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . The Trevor Project
. . . o.. . . Talking to other people
. . . p.. . . When people try to un-queer you
3. . . Navigating Your Queer Sphere - Finding Your People
. . . a.. . . Pinging your people
. . . . . . i.. . . Locate queer meeting places
. . . . . . ii.. . . Access queer youth online resources
. . . . . . iii.. . . Join a GSA or LGBTQ teen group
. . . . . . iv.. . . Find other like-minded groups
. . . . . . v.. . . Use your gaydar.
. . . b.. . . Finding adult allies
. . . c.. . . Know your rights
. . . . . . i.. . . Can I wear a queer rights T-shirt to school
. . . . . . ii.. . . Can I bring a same-sex date to prom?
. . . . . . iii.. . . What if I'm being bullied at school?
. . . . . . iv.. . . What if I want to identify as another gender at school?
. . . . . . v.. . . Which bathroom do I use?
. . . d.. . . Get involved
. . . . . . i.. . . Plan for the national Day of Silence
. . . . . . ii.. . . Join your local LGBTQ community center
. . . . . . iii.. . . Join or start a GSA or diversity club
. . . . . . iv.. . . Volunteer for political campaigns
. . . . . . v.. . . Launch or join an online community
. . . . . . vi.. . . Start your own revolution
. . . e.. . . Find a great queer college
4. . . Rising Above - How To Overcome Queerphobia
. . . a.. . . Why do people hate?
. . . b.. . . Triumphing over haters
. . . . . . i.. . . Stand up for yourself
. . . . . . ii.. . . Tell someone
. . . . . . iii.. . . Stick with friends
. . . c.. . . When community feels like hypocrisy
. . . d.. . . Dealing with physical or sexual assault
. . . e.. . . Oh, God - you're gay
. . . f.. . . Baiting and social traps
. . . g.. . . Relax, reboot, recenter
5. . . Making Your Move - Queer Dating
. . . a.. . . Is your crush on the same team?
. . . b.. . . Investigating further
. . . c.. . . Dating when you're trans
. . . d.. . . Friends or more than friends
. . . e.. . . Um, so, uh, wanna hang out sometime?
. . . f.. . . The woe of rejection
. . . g.. . . Great first date ideas
. . . . . . i.. . . Movies
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . Top retro LGBTQ teen date movies
. . . . . . ii.. . . Skateboarding, video games, bowling, miniature golf, bike ride, go to a play.
. . . . . . iii.. . . Gay-friendly spot for coffee or underage club for live bands
. . . . . . iv.. . . Hang out in the park or walk around downtown or at the mall
. . . h.. . . If someone asks you out
. . . . . . i.. . . Is it a date?
. . . . . . i.. . . Making it past date one
. . . . . . i.. . . Keep it short
. . . . . . ii.. . . Don't advertise
. . . . . . iii.. . . Power off
. . . . . . iv.. . . Break the ice
. . . . . . v.. . . Keep it light
. . . . . . vi.. . . Privacy rules
. . . . . . vii.. . . Leave out your ex
. . . . . . viii.. . . Take it slow
. . . . . . ix.. . . Don't play games
. . . . . . x.. . . Stay classy
. . . . . . xi.. . . Try not to judge
. . . . . . xii.. . . Forget about typical roles
. . . . . . xiii.. . . End on a high note
. . . j.. . . Going for a date two
. . . k.. . . What to do if the date sucks
6. . . Getting Together - Queer Relationships
. . . a.. . . What is a queer relationship?
. . . b.. . . Are you ready?
. . . . . . i.. . . Dating someone much older
. . . c.. . . Mapping it out
. . . d.. . . Learning to communicate
. . . e.. . . Is it love?
. . . . . . i.. . . Does it seem mutual?
. . . . . . ii.. . . Can you trust your partner with your secrets?
. . . . . . iii.. . . Do you bring out the best in each other?
. . . . . . iv.. . . Are you confident about the relationship?
. . . . . . v.. . . Are you happy?
. . . . . . vi.. . . Does the relationship make your life better?
. . . f.. . . Meeting the parents
. . . . . . i.. . . Know what you're walking into
. . . . . . ii.. . . Pull out the tie and jacket
. . . . . . iii.. . . Make eye contact and speak in full sentences
. . . . . . iv.. . . Help out!
. . . . . . v.. . . Join in
. . . . . . vi.. . . Go easy on the PDA
. . . . . . vii.. . . Understand the rules
. . . . . . viii.. . . Keep it short
. . . g.. . . Us against the world
. . . h.. . . Learn to fight fair
. . . . . . i.. . . Never fight when others are present
. . . . . . ii.. . . Take a time out
. . . . . . iii.. . . Choose your words
. . . . . . iv.. . . Never get physical
. . . i.. . . Is your relationship healthy?
. . . . . . i.. . . 10-question quiz
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . Quiz analysis
. . . j.. . . If a relationship ever gets abusive
. . . k.. . . Breaking up
. . . l.. . . Good breakup conversation starters
. . . m.. . . Getting over it
. . . n.. . . Breakup dos and Don'ts
7. . . The Big "S" - Queer Sex
. . . a.. . . Are you ready?
. . . b.. . . Starting solo
. . . c.. . . What does it mean to "lose it"?
. . . d.. . . Your first time
. . . e.. . . Not doing it
. . . f.. . . Doing it
. . . . . . i.. . . Will sex affirm my queerness
. . . . . . ii.. . . Touching and rubbing
. . . . . . iii.. . . Oral sex
. . . . . . iv.. . . Anal sex
. . . . . . v.. . . Vaginal sex
. . . g.. . . Sexually transmitted infections
. . . . . . i.. . . STI or STD
. . . h.. . . Disease table
. . . i.. . . Trans people and sex
. . . j.. . . Safer sex
. . . . . . i.. . . Condoms
. . . . . . ii.. . . Dental dams
. . . . . . iii.. . . Gloves
. . . . . . iv.. . . PrEP
. . . k.. . . Other tips for cleanliness and safety
. . . . . . i.. . . What is lubrication
. . . l.. . . Sex and love
. . . m.. . . Consent
. . . n.. . . All for one or one for all?
. . . o.. . . You like to do what?
. . . p.. . . What about porn?
. . . q.. . . Sex and technology
. . . . . . i.. . . Protect yourself
. . . . . . ii.. . . Don't lie
. . . . . . iii.. . . Don't gossip or brag
. . . . . . iv.. . . Don't cruise for porn
. . . . . . v.. . . Never post naked pictures
. . . . . . vi.. . . No sexting
. . . . . . vii.. . . No private meet-ups with strangers
. . . r.. . . Bad sex
. . . . . . i.. . . Don't be jailbait
Conclusion
Resources
. . . Queer Organizations
. . . Religious websites
. . . Books
Index
Queer The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke
1. . . The "Q" Word - Am I Queer
2. . . Embracing Your Queerness - Coming Out
3. . . Navigating Your Queer Sphere - Finding Your People
4. . . Rising Above - How To Overcome Queerphobia
5. . . Making Your Move - Queer Dating
6. . . Getting Together - Queer Relationships
7. . . The Big "S" - Queer Sex
Conclusion
Resources
Index
Here is a sub-listing of all the bold header topics within each chapter:
Queer The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke
1. . . The "Q" Word - Am I Queer
. . . a.. . . What does it mean to be queer?
. . . . . . i.. . . Lesbian
. . . . . . ii.. . . Gay
. . . . . . iii.. . . Bisexual
. . . . . . iv.. . . Pansexual
. . . . . . v.. . . Transgender
. . . . . . vi.. . . Nonbinary
. . . . . . vii.. . . Cisgender or Cis
. . . . . . viii.. . . Asexual, Aromantic, Demisexual
. . . . . . ix.. . . Queer
. . . b.. . . How do I know if I'm queer?
. . . c.. . . Do I have to have sex to know?
. . . d.. . . Why are people queer?
. . . . . . i.. . . What percentage of the population is queer?
. . . . . . ii.. . . What is intersex
. . . e.. . . Where are you on the sexual spectrum?
. . . f.. . . When do I need to decide if I'm queer?
2. . . Embracing Your Queerness - Coming Out
. . . a.. . . Coming out to your family
. . . b.. . . How to do it
. . . . . . i.. . . Timing is everything
. . . . . . ii.. . . Plan it out
. . . . . . iii.. . . Be patient
. . . c.. . . Help them out
. . . d.. . . Coming out as Trans
. . . e.. . . Have a Backup plan
. . . f.. . . You're not ready but they are
. . . g.. . . You're outed
. . . h.. . . You're asked to keep it a secret
. . . i.. . . Your parents won't accept the truth
. . . j.. . . Coming out at School
. . . . . . i.. . . Is you school a place you'd feel comfortable coming out?
. . . . . . ii.. . . Who do you want to come out to?
. . . . . . iii.. . . Are you ready to handle rejection?
. . . k.. . . How to do it
. . . l.. . . Carving out your new identity
. . . m.. . . If things don't go well
. . . n.. . . Finding a queer-positive counselor
. . . . . . i.. . . The internet
. . . . . . ii.. . . A local LGBTQ center
. . . . . . iii.. . . Queer-friendly publications
. . . . . . iv.. . . Insurance plans
. . . . . . v.. . . Suicide
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . The Trevor Project
. . . o.. . . Talking to other people
. . . p.. . . When people try to un-queer you
3. . . Navigating Your Queer Sphere - Finding Your People
. . . a.. . . Pinging your people
. . . . . . i.. . . Locate queer meeting places
. . . . . . ii.. . . Access queer youth online resources
. . . . . . iii.. . . Join a GSA or LGBTQ teen group
. . . . . . iv.. . . Find other like-minded groups
. . . . . . v.. . . Use your gaydar.
. . . b.. . . Finding adult allies
. . . c.. . . Know your rights
. . . . . . i.. . . Can I wear a queer rights T-shirt to school
. . . . . . ii.. . . Can I bring a same-sex date to prom?
. . . . . . iii.. . . What if I'm being bullied at school?
. . . . . . iv.. . . What if I want to identify as another gender at school?
. . . . . . v.. . . Which bathroom do I use?
. . . d.. . . Get involved
. . . . . . i.. . . Plan for the national Day of Silence
. . . . . . ii.. . . Join your local LGBTQ community center
. . . . . . iii.. . . Join or start a GSA or diversity club
. . . . . . iv.. . . Volunteer for political campaigns
. . . . . . v.. . . Launch or join an online community
. . . . . . vi.. . . Start your own revolution
. . . e.. . . Find a great queer college
4. . . Rising Above - How To Overcome Queerphobia
. . . a.. . . Why do people hate?
. . . b.. . . Triumphing over haters
. . . . . . i.. . . Stand up for yourself
. . . . . . ii.. . . Tell someone
. . . . . . iii.. . . Stick with friends
. . . c.. . . When community feels like hypocrisy
. . . d.. . . Dealing with physical or sexual assault
. . . e.. . . Oh, God - you're gay
. . . f.. . . Baiting and social traps
. . . g.. . . Relax, reboot, recenter
5. . . Making Your Move - Queer Dating
. . . a.. . . Is your crush on the same team?
. . . b.. . . Investigating further
. . . c.. . . Dating when you're trans
. . . d.. . . Friends or more than friends
. . . e.. . . Um, so, uh, wanna hang out sometime?
. . . f.. . . The woe of rejection
. . . g.. . . Great first date ideas
. . . . . . i.. . . Movies
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . Top retro LGBTQ teen date movies
. . . . . . ii.. . . Skateboarding, video games, bowling, miniature golf, bike ride, go to a play.
. . . . . . iii.. . . Gay-friendly spot for coffee or underage club for live bands
. . . . . . iv.. . . Hang out in the park or walk around downtown or at the mall
. . . h.. . . If someone asks you out
. . . . . . i.. . . Is it a date?
. . . . . . i.. . . Making it past date one
. . . . . . i.. . . Keep it short
. . . . . . ii.. . . Don't advertise
. . . . . . iii.. . . Power off
. . . . . . iv.. . . Break the ice
. . . . . . v.. . . Keep it light
. . . . . . vi.. . . Privacy rules
. . . . . . vii.. . . Leave out your ex
. . . . . . viii.. . . Take it slow
. . . . . . ix.. . . Don't play games
. . . . . . x.. . . Stay classy
. . . . . . xi.. . . Try not to judge
. . . . . . xii.. . . Forget about typical roles
. . . . . . xiii.. . . End on a high note
. . . j.. . . Going for a date two
. . . k.. . . What to do if the date sucks
6. . . Getting Together - Queer Relationships
. . . a.. . . What is a queer relationship?
. . . b.. . . Are you ready?
. . . . . . i.. . . Dating someone much older
. . . c.. . . Mapping it out
. . . d.. . . Learning to communicate
. . . e.. . . Is it love?
. . . . . . i.. . . Does it seem mutual?
. . . . . . ii.. . . Can you trust your partner with your secrets?
. . . . . . iii.. . . Do you bring out the best in each other?
. . . . . . iv.. . . Are you confident about the relationship?
. . . . . . v.. . . Are you happy?
. . . . . . vi.. . . Does the relationship make your life better?
. . . f.. . . Meeting the parents
. . . . . . i.. . . Know what you're walking into
. . . . . . ii.. . . Pull out the tie and jacket
. . . . . . iii.. . . Make eye contact and speak in full sentences
. . . . . . iv.. . . Help out!
. . . . . . v.. . . Join in
. . . . . . vi.. . . Go easy on the PDA
. . . . . . vii.. . . Understand the rules
. . . . . . viii.. . . Keep it short
. . . g.. . . Us against the world
. . . h.. . . Learn to fight fair
. . . . . . i.. . . Never fight when others are present
. . . . . . ii.. . . Take a time out
. . . . . . iii.. . . Choose your words
. . . . . . iv.. . . Never get physical
. . . i.. . . Is your relationship healthy?
. . . . . . i.. . . 10-question quiz
. . . . . . . . . 1. . . Quiz analysis
. . . j.. . . If a relationship ever gets abusive
. . . k.. . . Breaking up
. . . l.. . . Good breakup conversation starters
. . . m.. . . Getting over it
. . . n.. . . Breakup dos and Don'ts
7. . . The Big "S" - Queer Sex
. . . a.. . . Are you ready?
. . . b.. . . Starting solo
. . . c.. . . What does it mean to "lose it"?
. . . d.. . . Your first time
. . . e.. . . Not doing it
. . . f.. . . Doing it
. . . . . . i.. . . Will sex affirm my queerness
. . . . . . ii.. . . Touching and rubbing
. . . . . . iii.. . . Oral sex
. . . . . . iv.. . . Anal sex
. . . . . . v.. . . Vaginal sex
. . . g.. . . Sexually transmitted infections
. . . . . . i.. . . STI or STD
. . . h.. . . Disease table
. . . i.. . . Trans people and sex
. . . j.. . . Safer sex
. . . . . . i.. . . Condoms
. . . . . . ii.. . . Dental dams
. . . . . . iii.. . . Gloves
. . . . . . iv.. . . PrEP
. . . k.. . . Other tips for cleanliness and safety
. . . . . . i.. . . What is lubrication
. . . l.. . . Sex and love
. . . m.. . . Consent
. . . n.. . . All for one or one for all?
. . . o.. . . You like to do what?
. . . p.. . . What about porn?
. . . q.. . . Sex and technology
. . . . . . i.. . . Protect yourself
. . . . . . ii.. . . Don't lie
. . . . . . iii.. . . Don't gossip or brag
. . . . . . iv.. . . Don't cruise for porn
. . . . . . v.. . . Never post naked pictures
. . . . . . vi.. . . No sexting
. . . . . . vii.. . . No private meet-ups with strangers
. . . r.. . . Bad sex
. . . . . . i.. . . Don't be jailbait
Conclusion
Resources
. . . Queer Organizations
. . . Religious websites
. . . Books
Index
October 19, 2023
My star rating reflects how good of a resource I think this is for teens. Overall, it think this is a good resource for young queer and questioning teens. The book reads like a 101 crash course on the queer community, giving definitions for various sexualities, queer dating advice and sex ed, anecdotes from other queer people, and short snippets on the history of the LGBT community. Basic stuff, but a good intro if you're completely unfamiliar with the queer experience and want to learn more.
I only have two gripes. The first being that this book does the thing where it tries to connect with teens by using hip teen lingo. The kind of "how do you do, fellow kids?" writing that I think is ultimately harmless, but makes me curl into a little ball of cringe reading it. It was a nice try, A for effort.
The other gripe is a little less harmless. I'm not the only one that's mentioned this, and it's just one definition so I still think this is a good resource overall, but the definition of pansexual is not good. It distinguishes pansexuals from bisexuals by saying pansexuals aren't just attracted to boys and girls, but transgender people as well. I think the authors had the best of intentions, but their definition implies that transgender people aren't real boys or girls. They're some other third thing. Not good.
I read the first edition of this book, so if this is fixed in later editions then consider my second gripe moot.
I only have two gripes. The first being that this book does the thing where it tries to connect with teens by using hip teen lingo. The kind of "how do you do, fellow kids?" writing that I think is ultimately harmless, but makes me curl into a little ball of cringe reading it. It was a nice try, A for effort.
The other gripe is a little less harmless. I'm not the only one that's mentioned this, and it's just one definition so I still think this is a good resource overall, but the definition of pansexual is not good. It distinguishes pansexuals from bisexuals by saying pansexuals aren't just attracted to boys and girls, but transgender people as well. I think the authors had the best of intentions, but their definition implies that transgender people aren't real boys or girls. They're some other third thing. Not good.
I read the first edition of this book, so if this is fixed in later editions then consider my second gripe moot.
June 10, 2023
I picked up this book because it’s currently being challenged in my local library system. While I think it should certainly remain in the library, I didn’t find it to be the *best* or most comprehensive/inclusive/up to date resource out there on queer stuff.
I was frustrated by their definition of bisexuality (attracted to men and women—nope. It’s attracted to your same gender and other genders). I also felt they oversimplified asexuality and flattened that experience to the point where the information was inaccurate/useless. Lastly, the trans stuff was quite skimpy and inadequate.
Also worth noting that the tone tries to seem young and hip, but it comes across as cringey and out of touch. When I flipped to the author photos/bios at the end, part of my brain went “yup, that checks out” LOL.
All that being said! I think this could still be a useful book for its target audience: teens early in their queer identity/self discovery journey. It has helpful sections on coming out, dating, what constitutes a healthy relationship, navigating sex, STIs, and more. I think the safe sex section is what makes conservatives want to ban it 🙄
For a book on queer identity, it’s quite mild and not that progressive. It’s hard to believe people want to ban this book, but unsurprising given the way things are going in the US lately. Kids should have access to information like this. Besides, they could find all this on the internet anyways.
I was frustrated by their definition of bisexuality (attracted to men and women—nope. It’s attracted to your same gender and other genders). I also felt they oversimplified asexuality and flattened that experience to the point where the information was inaccurate/useless. Lastly, the trans stuff was quite skimpy and inadequate.
Also worth noting that the tone tries to seem young and hip, but it comes across as cringey and out of touch. When I flipped to the author photos/bios at the end, part of my brain went “yup, that checks out” LOL.
All that being said! I think this could still be a useful book for its target audience: teens early in their queer identity/self discovery journey. It has helpful sections on coming out, dating, what constitutes a healthy relationship, navigating sex, STIs, and more. I think the safe sex section is what makes conservatives want to ban it 🙄
For a book on queer identity, it’s quite mild and not that progressive. It’s hard to believe people want to ban this book, but unsurprising given the way things are going in the US lately. Kids should have access to information like this. Besides, they could find all this on the internet anyways.
April 29, 2023
Oh my goodness - I found this to be fantastic!
The first 6 chapters are so incredibly beautiful, life-affirming, accessible, and informed...
I can see why Chapters 7+ scare some grown-ups. But they are still honest, candid, unpretentious, and natural.
That being said, the authors don't have all the answers to all the questions one could or should have! This isn't an encyclopedia of all things LGTBQ+! While it is a guide, a good resource, I wouldn't call this "The Ultimate Guide."... yet, I found it to be profoundly educational, legitimate, and a great platform from which more understanding, compassion, and empathy can grow.
The first 6 chapters are so incredibly beautiful, life-affirming, accessible, and informed...
I can see why Chapters 7+ scare some grown-ups. But they are still honest, candid, unpretentious, and natural.
That being said, the authors don't have all the answers to all the questions one could or should have! This isn't an encyclopedia of all things LGTBQ+! While it is a guide, a good resource, I wouldn't call this "The Ultimate Guide."... yet, I found it to be profoundly educational, legitimate, and a great platform from which more understanding, compassion, and empathy can grow.
June 3, 2024
A good choice at the beginning of Pride month. This is a great book to help teens navigate issues associated with coming out, dating, entering relationships, and living life as a member of the LGBTQ community. The chapters on dating and relationships also provide excellent guidance for straight people and those well beyond their teens.
December 4, 2018
Es una revista informativa para adolescentes LGBT
Es bueno el libro/revista solo que siento que va más dirigido a lesbianas que a gays o bisexuales o cualquier otra orientación.
Me gustó mucho leer los testimonios y datos históricos.
Es bueno el libro/revista solo que siento que va más dirigido a lesbianas que a gays o bisexuales o cualquier otra orientación.
Me gustó mucho leer los testimonios y datos históricos.
June 3, 2021
I won't lie, quite a bit of nostalgia goes in hand with this review: this book came out when I graduated high school, which was a tumultuous time for me. Growing up in a very backwards town that was stagnant in progressive ideas, I didn't have much of anything to be supported by. I didn't know what "transgender" was or even that being "queer" was a thing! But I happened to be shopping with a friend at a bookstore in a different town when I came upon this book. I cannot tell you how it changed my worldview! The book gave me answers to things I had been struggling with for a long time and even the strategies and answers I could use when coming out to my family (which was the scariest time of my life!). This is a good book for teens who need support into becoming the beautiful individuals they were always meant to be.
August 30, 2022
A pretty good start for gay/bi/lesbian teens. I can't recommend it to ace/trans people though (it barely mentions these topics at all).
June 1, 2011
Queer is exactly what it says it is: a comprehensive guide for teens about LGBT life. It provides the facts about what it means to be LGBT as well as providing practical advice on how to come out, how to fight homophobia, and how to generally be an awesome person. Writers Belge and Beischke offer a funny, no-frills approach to providing as much information about LGBT life to teens as possible.
This is a pretty important book. In a time when teenagers are committing suicide because of bullying related to LGBT issues, a book like this is necessary. It offers a great deal of information and is written specifically for teens who are questioning or struggling with their sexuality. The authors use humor and a straightforward approach to broaching issues. Topics tackled include tips for coming out, tips for finding other teens who are LGBT(Q), facts about STIs, and inspiring stories about teens who have stood up and fought homophobia in their communities. The authors also provide personal anecdotes about their own lives, which helps give the book a more personal feel.]
The book is organized well, with little comic-strip drawings to help illustrate important points. The use of humor helps to alleviate any sense of nervousness teens might feel about their questions, and the authors’ ability to tackle topics without hesitation helps to reinforce the idea that this is not a taboo topic. In addition to offering facts about the LGBT world, the authors provide helpful, relevant suggestions on how teens can surround themselves with positivity and experience a healthy LGBT social life. Like I said, it’s not just practical information: this is necessary stuff.
Part dating guide, part activist’s handbook, this book is essential for any school or public library. It offers information not just for LGBTQ teens, but for adults who need information about how to talk to teens as well.
Queer: The Ultimate GLBT Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Beischke. Zest: 2011. Electronic galley provided by the publisher via Netgalley.
This is a pretty important book. In a time when teenagers are committing suicide because of bullying related to LGBT issues, a book like this is necessary. It offers a great deal of information and is written specifically for teens who are questioning or struggling with their sexuality. The authors use humor and a straightforward approach to broaching issues. Topics tackled include tips for coming out, tips for finding other teens who are LGBT(Q), facts about STIs, and inspiring stories about teens who have stood up and fought homophobia in their communities. The authors also provide personal anecdotes about their own lives, which helps give the book a more personal feel.]
The book is organized well, with little comic-strip drawings to help illustrate important points. The use of humor helps to alleviate any sense of nervousness teens might feel about their questions, and the authors’ ability to tackle topics without hesitation helps to reinforce the idea that this is not a taboo topic. In addition to offering facts about the LGBT world, the authors provide helpful, relevant suggestions on how teens can surround themselves with positivity and experience a healthy LGBT social life. Like I said, it’s not just practical information: this is necessary stuff.
Part dating guide, part activist’s handbook, this book is essential for any school or public library. It offers information not just for LGBTQ teens, but for adults who need information about how to talk to teens as well.
Queer: The Ultimate GLBT Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Beischke. Zest: 2011. Electronic galley provided by the publisher via Netgalley.
February 19, 2021
This book struck a nostalgic tone for me. It was reminiscent of the sweet-but-patronizing books for straight kids (or perhaps I should say, books that assumed all kids were straight) that were available in the eighties and nineties. It was kind of wholesome to see that kind of book recreated for queer kids. I appreciated some of the personal anecdotes, and there was a lot of good information related in a way that normalized and celebrated queerness. However:
-It did have that old-people-trying-to-be-cool tone, which would probably cause an actual teenager to be deeply skeptical or deeply amused if it was that noticeable to 39-year-old me.
-It gave warnings that seemed like they were trying not to be too scary and thus skipped over some harsher things that really should be said. Examples: warned against taking/sharing nude pics but described consequences as “could get arrested” or “not get into your college of choice” without mentioning the possibility of a lifetime on a sex offender registry; warned against sex games or role play that involve “ropes or knives” but didn’t mention breath play at all.
-More importantly, it spent very little time on asexuality, didn’t make a clear distinction between asexuality and aromanticism, didn’t make a distinction between sexual and romantic orientation at all, and barely mentioned nonbinary identities.
-There were many instances of the word “lame,” which seemed again like old people trying to sound cool while completely missing the point that the word is (a) mostly not used by teenagers at all because (b) it is offensive and ableist.
While I am glad that something like this exists, I hope there are better books. I think on some of the topics, Ash Hardell’s ABCs of LGBT is a better choice, but I intend to keep reading on the subject! Today’s queer teens deserve truly spectacular books, not just un-vetted tumblr posts and goodness knows what.
-It did have that old-people-trying-to-be-cool tone, which would probably cause an actual teenager to be deeply skeptical or deeply amused if it was that noticeable to 39-year-old me.
-It gave warnings that seemed like they were trying not to be too scary and thus skipped over some harsher things that really should be said. Examples: warned against taking/sharing nude pics but described consequences as “could get arrested” or “not get into your college of choice” without mentioning the possibility of a lifetime on a sex offender registry; warned against sex games or role play that involve “ropes or knives” but didn’t mention breath play at all.
-More importantly, it spent very little time on asexuality, didn’t make a clear distinction between asexuality and aromanticism, didn’t make a distinction between sexual and romantic orientation at all, and barely mentioned nonbinary identities.
-There were many instances of the word “lame,” which seemed again like old people trying to sound cool while completely missing the point that the word is (a) mostly not used by teenagers at all because (b) it is offensive and ableist.
While I am glad that something like this exists, I hope there are better books. I think on some of the topics, Ash Hardell’s ABCs of LGBT is a better choice, but I intend to keep reading on the subject! Today’s queer teens deserve truly spectacular books, not just un-vetted tumblr posts and goodness knows what.
May 7, 2018
I’ll be honest, here. My first impressions of this book are bad. It has othering language regarding trans folks, focuses more on the binary, and it tries to be inclusive but has managed to sorely miss on the asexual community and beyond (there is one mention in the book of asexuality and it is in a blurb that mentions that some people aren’t DTF and that’s it).
However. It feel like this is a valuable primer with gobs of information to offer! There are sections not just on what being queer is, but also about dating, sex, social ties, etc. It encourages safety, explains important laws, suggests plans for the worst-case scenarios and tries hard to direct young people in a healthy direction. It also has a list of resources for further learning, and dips a toe in history.
It’s best for questioning folks or people who need help navigating the world post-closet.
CW FOR THE SERIES:
-sections on dealing with abuse and assault, all clearly marked
However. It feel like this is a valuable primer with gobs of information to offer! There are sections not just on what being queer is, but also about dating, sex, social ties, etc. It encourages safety, explains important laws, suggests plans for the worst-case scenarios and tries hard to direct young people in a healthy direction. It also has a list of resources for further learning, and dips a toe in history.
It’s best for questioning folks or people who need help navigating the world post-closet.
CW FOR THE SERIES:
-sections on dealing with abuse and assault, all clearly marked
March 10, 2018
This book has a reassuring yet breezy tone that seems perfect for its audience. I wasn't surprised to learn that the authors consulted with teens as they wrote the book. As a parent, I appreciated the way the book focused on empowerment and reassurance, e.g., it's ok to not have everything figured out, it's ok to wait until you're comfortable, feelings come in many many varieties so it's ok if you don't exactly fit a stereotype, etc. I think the book would work especially well for young teens: it has advice for how to know whether you are gay, how to find out if the person you have a crush on is gay, how to ask someone on a date, what you're supposed to do on a date, etc., though it does talk about sex too. There's a long table about STI's that would probably be quite helpful except that it's impossible to read on an e-reader.
April 5, 2022
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Although the book was brief and didn't dive into any particular topic much, it did offer a pretty good overview of what LGBTQ+ encompasses. Compared to the previous edition, which according to its reviews, had some language and phrasing problems, such as the definition of pansexual, the language in this edition was overall much more friendly and validating. It offered really great resources that were geared specifically toward the LGBTQ community, such as The Trevor Project. One thing I did notice was that all the examples used "she" or "he." It's a small thing, but using "they" would be so much more inclusive and it wouldn't be necessary to have little disclaimers about changing pronouns to match yours or your partner's.
Although the book was brief and didn't dive into any particular topic much, it did offer a pretty good overview of what LGBTQ+ encompasses. Compared to the previous edition, which according to its reviews, had some language and phrasing problems, such as the definition of pansexual, the language in this edition was overall much more friendly and validating. It offered really great resources that were geared specifically toward the LGBTQ community, such as The Trevor Project. One thing I did notice was that all the examples used "she" or "he." It's a small thing, but using "they" would be so much more inclusive and it wouldn't be necessary to have little disclaimers about changing pronouns to match yours or your partner's.
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