Growing With: Every Parent's Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future

by Kara Powell

Parenting that changes your kids and changes you. Many parents of a teenager or young adult feel as though they're guessing about what to do next--with mixed results. We want to stay connected with our maturing child, but we're not sure how. And deep down, we fear our child doesn't want or need us.  But growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart.

Based on brand-new research and interviews with remarkable families,  Growing With  equips parents to  take steps  toward  their teenagers and young adults in a mutual journey of intentional growth  that trusts God to transform them all. By highlighting three groundbreaking family strategies, authors Kara Powell and Steven Argue show parents that it's never too early or too late to

-  accept the child you have , not the child you wish you had 
- work toward  solutions  rather than only identifying problems
- develop  empathy  that nudges rather than judges
-  fight  for  your child , not against them
- connect your children with a  faith and church  big enough to handle their doubts and struggles
- dive into  tough discussions  about dating, career, and finances
- and  unleash  your child's passions and talents to change our world

For any parent who longs for their kids to keep their roots even as they spread their wings,  Growing With  offers practical help and hope for the days--and years--ahead.

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction, Religion

272 pages, Paperback

Published April 1, 2019

About the author

Dr. Kara Powell is the Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI), a faculty member at Fuller Theological Seminary, and Fuller's Chief of Leadership Formation. Named by Christianity Today as one of “50 Women You Should Know,” Kara serves as a Youth and Family Strategist for Orange, and also speaks regularly at parenting and leadership conferences. Kara is the author or coauthor of a number of books, including 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, Growing Young, Growing With, The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family, Sticky Faith Curriculum, Can I Ask That?, Deep Justice Journeys, Deep Justice in a Broken World, Deep Ministry in a Shallow World, and the Good Sex Youth Ministry Curriculum. Kara lives with her husband Dave and their three teenage and young adult children, Nathan, Krista, and Jessica, in Southern California.

Reviews

[Emily Huff · Rating 5 out of 5]

FABULOUS resource!!!
These prayers are bookends in the first and last chapter of the book and are really helping me frame this stage of parenting as I am growing with my kids. We are all on a journey!

"Jesus, our kids are growing us and we are growing older. These truths weigh heavily on us, some days more than others. There are moments when it feels like we’re growing together and other times when we fear we’re growing apart. By your grace, please grant us faith to trust you with our kids as well as courage to grow with them through our parenting. Spark in us a more expansive vision for this journey- a vision not only about who they might become, but also about who we might become." (Growing With, page 18)

"Jesus, we thank you that in the midst of the ups and downs of parenting, we can place our hope in you. We are grateful for how you use parenting to prune us and shape us more and more into your image. Please help us abide in you so that we may bear great fruit in our families and in our world. Thank you that you love our kids even more than we do. Thank you that you want the very best for them and for us. Please help us rest in your powerful grace that continues to transform us all. Amen." (Growing With, page 278)

[Garrett Behrends · Rating 5 out of 5]

While designed more for parents than youth ministers, I really enjoyed this book. It is packed full of good and practical advice and tips about parenting children between the ages of 13 and 30. I would recommend this book for any parent, grandparent, youth worker, or any adult that interacts with kids/teenagers in any capacity.

[Aaron Barnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful guidebook for parents or youth workers needing a game plan for parenting and leading teens. Provides super helpful research info and ideas for practically doing what they suggest. It is a systematic approach and is very detailed and exhaustive. If bought into, I imagine it’s very helpful for families and groups to have shared language and vision.

[Bronwyn Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hopeful and helpful for parents of teens and young g adults. Data based, practical, relevant insights into the developmental stages of adolescence and emerging adulthood in our kids… AND HOW WE AS PARENTS can (and must) also be developing and shifting our parenting approaches in each of these seasons. I imagine I’ll read this again in 10 years because it will still be relevant when all my kids are in their 20s!

[Rebecca Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing With: Every Parent's Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future by Kara Powell and Steven Argue. Powell and Argue acknowledge that parenting, once considered an eighteen year endeavor, really stretches far beyond that. Most children growing up in the Millennial and iGen generations are not fully launching into their marriages, careers, and new households until closer to the age of 30. With that in mind, Powell and Argue in collaboration with a series of interviews with parents, have divided the teen and young adult years into three stages. These stages begin with learning (13-17), exploration (18-23), and focusing (23-29). As their children traverse through these stages, it should be the goal of adults to go through the stages of teaching, guiding and becoming a resource to their children. With that mind, Powell and Argue develop both general guidelines and some specific ideas of how to interact with teens and young adults along the way.

I think that this book is a veritable treasure trove in parenting the modern teen and young adult. More than anything, this a book of advice in how to let go of control over your child, letting go without becoming overly distant. It's a difficult balancing act, and as my oldest child just turned fourteen this week, it is something that I expect will heavily figure into my next ten to twenty years of relationship with my children. Powell and Argue give much advice on how to build your relationship with your children and how to love and support, even when you disagree with their decisions and lifestyle choices. This was truly helpful. (book 53 of 2019)

[Adam Metz · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most reliable and respected voices in youth ministry over the past couple of decades has been the work of Fuller Seminary and its most recent iteration as the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI). Anyone seriously involved in youth ministry – particularly in congregational settings – would do well to keep a watchful eye on their work. After undertaking some major research initiatives aimed at learning more about young people, the church’s ministry to young people, and the overall trends shaping faith development in young people, FYI and their staff have been hard at work examining and interpreting their findings. Kara Powell made a big splash in the youth ministry world coauthoring the book Sticky Faith in 2011 alongside youth ministry pioneer Chap Clark – a widely respected book. More recently in the 2016 book, Growing Young, the authors (all FYI staff) presented trends within churches they identified as successfully engaging young people.

Next week (available March 5) a subsequent volume focuses on parents and their roles in “helping teenagers and young adults in their faith, family, and future” as the subtitle reads. While I found Growing Young a solid resource for helping spur honest discussions among fellow church leaders about how we can effectively engage young people in our ministry, Growing With hit me more between the eyes in its practicality and directness. I have read few books that had a more direct bearing on my stage of life and the realities of everyday life. It isn’t often that I read something and find myself referring to it or recommending it so often – and so quickly after I have been reading it, but the stuff that Kara Powell and Steven Argue talk about are the life-shaping, faith-forming issues of the every day life of young people.

The first part of the book presents a highly readable and entirely accessible description of the nuances at play in the broadening category known as “young people” (including the broad spectrum of teenagers, adolescents, emerging adults, and young adults) On the surface, it seems a bit of a stretch to address parenting insights of children from 12 to 29, but the first section sets the course for how it makes perfect sense. They adeptly highlight the paradox of today’s youth culture that faces mounting pressure and expectations at younger ages (leading to a “growing up earlier” dynamic), while at the same time prolonging life choices that once were looked at as initiating a person into adulthood (marriage, having children, and determining careers). As these broader sociological realities have elicited a great deal of attention in recent years, Powell and Argue tackle the dramatically important topic of the dynamics of faith development throughout this changing stage of life.

They present three “dynamic verbs” which provide the backbone for the book: withing, faithing, and adulting. They explore the evolution of these verbs through the young adult development from “learners” (13 to 18 year olds), “explorers” (mid teens to 23), and “focusers” (most of the 20s). While I found the language a tad clunky at times, the picture they draw of what it is like to navigate through this time of life from both sides (as a young adult and as a parent) really brings to life the issues at hand in faith development. They emphasize an often neglected point for parents – that parents and their relationship and role is changing just as the child is experiencing dramatic changes.

The authors dedicate one section to each of the verbs (withing, faithing, and adulting), and do a wonderful job of integrating statistically-validated insights, parenting stories from their own families, wisdom from others, and practical suggestions for implementing the ideas they propose. At the end of of the each of these chapters there are several suggestions for experimenting with “withing” philosophies (see what I mean about the clunky play of the words!)

I found myself nodding my head often as they talked about the unique challenges and needs of the “learners” (currently where my own children are). Powell and Argue come across as transparent and authentic as they discuss their own challenges as parents – sometimes looking back at mistakes they’ve made in the past while at other times confessing the challenges of their current life setting. There is nothing trite about their proposals. They tackle head on many of the complexities facing families today including: economic challenges facing young adults starting out on their own, increasing complexities in romantic relationships (online relationships, having a gay or transgendered child), and the call for parents to say something about their faith. [Christianity Today ran an article adapted from this book highlighting this very point.] I especially appreciated their acknowledging that faith discussions can seem forced, awkward, and challenging even for ministers talking to their own children – but they remind the readers how essential it is to have these intentional conversations. This discussion alone is worth the time and money of the book.

There are few voices within youth ministry that speak with the authority and respect of FYI, and this book will do nothing but further their reputation. I can’t recommend this book enough to any parent of young people or to anyone who cares about the faith we are passing on to young people in the church today. Each chapter ends with a series of questions that will help facilitate deep and meaningful conversations about a very important topic, and I hope to lead a class at our church using them very soon. Do yourself a favor and pick this book up soon! Find a group of parents that you can read and discuss this book with – you won’t regret it!

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing With’s subtitle– –Every Parent's Guide To Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future––captures the book’s purpose well. I came to the book expecting excellence, as I always find with Fuller youth Institute materials. I hoped to be able to use it as a resource for families in my church. I was happily surprised to find I can still use the material with my own children even though they are past their teen years.

The authors help parents navigate from the early teen years to late 20s and perhaps beyond. Though I feel like our children are fairly well launched, I still learned quite a bit about how to maintain close contact and have good conversations as we grow geographically farther apart. I will use the tools they offer to stay with my kids and to talk about their faith in different ways as we all grow.

Powell and Argue use three verbs to help parents during the three stages of their children's growth.
Withing––how do we relearn to actually be with our children, not simply around them?
Faithing—how do we help our kids navigate the changes in their faith with patience and optimism, realizing that our faith, too, is or should be ever-changing?
Adulting– –what tools do our kids in need to thrive in their own new life, and what is our role in supply and them?

I won't lie ––Growing With can be a tough read if your kids are already in their 20s, as mine are. You can't help but notice the many things you could have done better. Yet Powell and Argue lace Growing With with grace. They are parents, too. They have made their own mistakes and are not afraid to let the readers know it. The message comes through––we're all imperfect humans raising imperfect humans. We all need some help. Both generations need grace to understand that the other is still growing, learning, and making mistakes. That understanding alone it is worth the price of admission for this book.

The authors talk about the cultural changes that have made growing up in this generation far different than the world their parents knew at their age. They lay down some of the stark facts that might depress us about our children's faith, but they also debunk some of the myths about the Millennial generation and iGen that keep parents awake at night. The clear, well-informed and fact checked understanding of the next generations’ hopes, worries, and beliefs are invaluable to parents, grandparents, and church leaders who wants to understand what is going on in the heads and hearts of these generations.

I love how the authors explain the different roles parents need to take on as their children change. It helped me to see more clearly ways that I have changed as a parent and ways that I still must work on.

As a pastor, I will definitely suggest this book to parents as their children enter the teen years. I might even hand it to them. In fact, I think I will preorder a copy for all the high school and junior high parents in the church. Parents, grandparents, and teachers in the church need the information in Growing With.

[Ty Gist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing With is a book by Kara Powell, and Steven Argue and it comes out of Fuller Seminary's Youth Institute. Seriously, the things that they produce are THE BEST resources on students, faith, and ministry for youth! This book is no different.

The book comes out of some extensive research on young people (teens-twenties) and their faith habits and patterns. Growing with takes an honest look at the trends for faith in young people today, and draws out ways that parents, ministers, and friends of young people can help to inspire faith in the next generation. Some of this research can feel tedious as you read through the first part of the book, but Powell and Argue do a really good job of balancing important information and practical tools for parents.

Withing, Faithing, Adulting

Growing With is all about how parents can grow together with their children as they mature, leave home, and make big life decisions in their 20's. The book breaks this Growing with strategy up into three categories "Withing, Faithing, and Adulting." The focus is on how parents can help their kids grow in life, in faith, and in interdependence as they age and mature.

One of the most impactful takeaways from the book for me was the way Powell and Argue redefined the stages our kids transition through as they grow up. They argue that as young people grow up they move through three different phases:

Learner - "A season of rapid physical, emotional, relational, intellectual, and spiritual growth and change." Typically ages 13-18.

Explorer - "As our kids leave adolescence and launch into emerging adulthood, they often venture for the first time away from home... to pursue their goals, relationships, and beliefs. Explorers feel excited about the future yet unsure about themselves." Typically, 18-23.

Focuser - "Landing on the Path(s) that best fits." Focusers are "Focusing on their careers, on their relationships, on their beliefs, and on a reset." Typically, 23-29.

As your kids move through these phases the role of the parent changes from "Teachers" to "Guides" to "Resources."

Growing with does an excellent job at identifying the different stages young people are walking through, and the specific challenges they are facing. And with that Powell and Argue provide a wealth of advice, counsel, personal wins and losses, and encouragement for parents who are growing with their kids. I loved this book, and I cant stress enough how much this book has to offer for parents and ministers working with students. I cannot wait to share this book with our parents, and to apply these lessons to my own parenting!


"A mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all."

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible Resource!
I have read many other resources created by the Fuller Youth Institute and writers Kara Powell and Steven Argue, and all of their work has been heavily steeped in both research and practical ways to apply their findings. When they announced they were teaming up for Growing With, I knew the book would be another invaluable resource that would give me specific ways to implement effective strategies in our youth group and with my future kids.

Growing With did not disappoint—it comes from two experienced parents, youth mentors, and researchers, and it provides clear and data-based explanations for all the tips and recommendations offered. The overarching premise that we need to grow and adapt as parents just as we expect our kids to grow and adapt seems obvious, but this book challenged me to think deeply about my own growth in a new way. Powell and Argue give new language and understanding to general stages of development and the corresponding roles that parents need to fill to best parent their child at every phase of life. Within each phase, they also explain (with useful, practical ideas!) how we can grow together as a family; they turn "with," "faith," and "adult" into verbs and provide examples of how parents can incorporate withing, faithing, and adulting into family routines and norms. Best of all, they leave room for you to apply all of their strategies within your specific context, but they are never condescending or assuming. They understand that parenting is messy and complex, and that the kids in our lives are equally dynamic and complicated. They aren't here to tell you that you are failing as a parent; in fact, they do a great job of sharing their own parenting struggles and encouraging readers in their own challenges.

As someone who is expecting a baby this spring, I am so grateful to have this book early in my parenting journey. It's given me a rich understanding of how I can focus on my own growth while adapting to meet the needs of my son as he becomes an adult. But even if you don't have kids, anyone who works with youth or wants to be a meaningful contributor to a church body will benefit from reading this book. I took away tons of ideas for my role as a youth pastor, and I have fresh language to give my congregation about how they can pour into the lives of our young church members. My book is full of highlights, especially in the sections where they list specific tactics or initiatives to try. I am eager to apply these with my own child and with the youth in my church, and I will be returning to this book often!

[George P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kara Powell and Steven Argue begin Growing With by pinpointing the dilemma our kids face in the crucial season between 13 and 29 years of age: “On the one hand, our kids’ sophistication has accelerated and it seems like they are getting older earlier; but on the other hand, they feel less mature as the typical markers of adulthood are now delayed.” In other words, the transition to adulthood begins earlier and lasts longer in this generation than in previous generations.

How we parent our children changes as they age. Powell and Argue define “Growing With parenting” as “a mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all.” Growing With helps Christian parents navigate those changes by describing three stages of development our kids go through.

In the “learner” stage (ages 13–18), our kids enter “a season of rapid physical, emotional, relational, intellectual, and spiritual growth and change.” As parents, our primary role in this stage is as “teachers,” not in the sense of telling them what to do, but in the sense of “learner-centered teaching.”

In the “explorer” stage (ages 18–23), our kids “often venture for the first time away from home or home-oriented routines to pursue their goals, relationships, and beliefs.” During this stage, parents’ primary role is as “guides,” shifting “our parenting focus away from setting goals for our kids and toward guiding them on the journey of setting their own goals.”

Finally, in the “focusers” stage (ages 23–29), our kids “begin to gain a clearer sense of who they are and have likely made educational, vocational, and relational choices that set them on particular trajectories.” Our primary role is as “resourcers.” Our kids come to us for advice because “we have lived through the life events they now anticipate, including career advancement, marriage, parenthood, renting or buying a home, and financial investments.”

As these changes occur, Powell and Argue urge parents to pay “special attention to three keys areas of our child’s exploration: family, faith, and freedom” [emphasis in original]. Parents who do so engage in what the authors call the three “dynamic verbs” of “withing,” “faithing,” and “adulting.”

* Withing: “a family’s growth in supporting each other as children grow more independent”
* Faithing: “a child’s growth in owning and embodying their own journey with God as they encounter new experiences and information”
* Adulting: “a child’s growth in agency as they embrace opportunities to shape the world around them”

The unique contribution Growing With makes to the literature of Christian parenting is its detailed advice about what shapes withing, faithing, and adulting take in the learner, explorer, and focuser stages of our kids’ lives, and how we should parent as a result. This advice takes up the bulk of the book (chapters 3–8). In this review, I’m only focusing on the organizing framework. You’ll have to read the book to get Powell and Argue’s detailed advice.

Growing With is a valuable read for parents of adolescents and young adults. It describes the changes our kids are going through, and what kinds of major life choices they are beginning to make using a memorable vocabulary to describe both the changes and the choices. Throughout, the authors urge parents to keep the lines of relationship with our kids open, even when — perhaps especially when — they begin to make choices we disagree with. In that vein, I wish the authors had provided clearer direction to Christian parents about kids and LGBT issues, which are a much bigger deal today than when most of us were growing up.

I close by quoting three mantras the authors encourage parents to tell themselves:

1. “Today I will attempt to be in the right place at the right time.” This means knowing what stage your kids are in and what role your parenting should take as a result.
2. “Today I will allow grace to give me courage to take a next faithful step.”
3. “Today I have what it takes to be the best parent for my kid.”

It’s never too late to be a better parent, and Growing With offers valuable advice for better parenting our kids as they emerge into young adulthood.

Book Reviewed
Kara Powell and Steven Argue, Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2019).

P.S. If you found my review helpful, please click “Helpful” on my Amazon review page.

P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com with permission.

[Richard Heyduck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Note: A free copy of this book was sent to me by Baker Book Bloggers for purposes of review.

Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future is a helpful book for Christian parents. Based on their research, both teach at Fuller Seminary in the area of youth ministry, and their experience as parents, they write to help families be healthy together.

Powell and Argue introduce what they call “Growing With parenting,” which they define as “a mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all.” To this end, they create some new words to talk about distinct areas of parenting. “Withing” refers to “a family’s growth in supporting each other as children grow more independent.” “Faithing” refers to parents and children intentionally engaging with and developing their relationship with God together. Their third term, “adulting,” is in more common use and refers to equipping children to make the transition from dependence not only to independence, but also to interdependence. In their chapters they deal with each of these three elements in relation to three stages of maturation. They call these stages “learner” (childhood), “explorer” (teenagers), and “focuser” (young adults), showing how each stage differs and builds upon what has gone before.

One thing I appreciated about the book was that they mentioned the presence of disabled children at a couple of places. Our own oldest child is disabled, now an adult still living in our home and dependent on our care. Most books on parenting that I’ve read in the past don’t even acknowledge the presence of disabled children. Furthermore, their research led them to recognize differences among racial and ethnic parenting and family styles (very broadly conceived). In both these cases the book mostly just points at these differences and doesn’t develop material to help parents who are not middle class white people with “normal” children.

This book would be of primary value to parents dedicated to raising Christian children and open to a non-authoritarian style. Powell and Argue assume that parents have as much learning and adapting to do as children, so parents who are convinced they know all they need to know and are committed to acting as if the parent is always right will be frustrated by their advice. Style-wise, the book would work well for a parent’s class or discussion group.

[Joel Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parenting teenagers and emerging adults proves difficult for many. Kara Powell and Steven Argue present a fantastic model for doing so in "Growing With." They begin by developing a model of adolescence that enables the parent to understand how they can guide their children through each stage of growing. This model begins with children being learners (ages 13-18 - traditional adolescence). This age group is characterized by physical, spiritual, mental and emotional growth and change. Parents can come alongside their learners as teachers, guiding them as they learn about themselves. After this children emerge into the stage called Explores (ages 19-23). In this stage children move away from home, pursuing goals and relationships. Young people are often unsure of themselves during this stage. Parents walk alongside them during this stage as guides, helping their offspring explore their goals and desires. Finally, young people reach the stage of Focusers (ages 23-29). Focusers have hopefully developed into young adults who have assurance in their talents and an understanding of what they wish to do with their lives. At this point parents are resourcers, providing helpful guidance when asked and helping their offspring to claim life and live it.
Following the development of this family theory and how emerging adults and parents should interact with one another, Powell and Argue apply their theory to various areas of life. They do a beautiful job exploring relationships, faith, career, and other necessary aspects of growing into adults. Central to all of their conversation is helping students continue to grasp unto Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior as the reach adulthood.
All parents concerned for the healthy emergence of their children into adult life should consider the wisdom shared in "Growing With." In addition to the book, the authors provide many on-line resources which can be reached through the Fuller Youth Institute.
I received this book as a review copy for Baker Publishers Blogging program.

[Cindy DeBoer · Rating 5 out of 5]

With four kids are between the ages of 17 – 27, my husband and I are in the “thick” of parenting the young adult. It has quickly become apparent to us that this parenting gig doesn’t get any easier. We never anticipated that parenting at this stage would zap so much of our psychological, spiritual and emotional energies and many times we’ve lamented, “Nobody prepares you for this season of life. We always thought we’d “launch” these kids and all would be well. But it’s not like that. The dynamics, challenges and pressures are intense at this stage and they’re always changing! It sure would be great if there was a guide or something.”

Enter to the scene: Growing With!

I loved this book for the clear and understandable explanation of what to expect from the emerging young adult and also for the practical ways that we, the Christian parent, can grow alongside our children in their journey.

Using their extensive research and personal stories, Powell and Argue first lay the groundwork for understanding the complex nuances of three developmental stages of the young adult which they have named: Learners, Explorers, Focusers. Next, they lead the reader into understanding the three roles of the parent that coincide with those stages: Teacher, Guide, and Resourcer.

By teaching the reader terms like “withing”, “faithing” and “adulating”, the authors show – in very tangible ways – how parents must mature and change alongside our young adult kids in order to help them become everything God made them to be. I felt as if I learned many practical insights on how to deliver just the right “amount” of parenting at every stage of the emerging young adult.

For all parents desiring to give their kids their best efforts in faithful, Christ-centered parenting, this book is a must-read.

[Randy · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world of pithy social media memes and passionate TED talks on parenting comes a resource that speaks with true authority. Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family and Future (BakerBooks, 2019) uses extensive research and interviews to inform this guide for parents with teenagers and emerging adults. Authors Kara Powell and Steven Argue season the research results with stories from their own parenting experiences to lay out the concept of Growing With parenting: “a mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all” (23).

The process of maturing to adulthood has undergone significant change in the last couple of decades. Growing With helpfully describes these changes and the reasons for them. Powell and Argue then detail how parents can journey with their children through this maturing process. Their emphasis is always on keeping a positive relationship through the changing dynamics of their kids’ stages of development.

Two features of this book I found particularly helpful. First, all through the book there are sidebars that give insight into research, information from other experts, and helpful online resources. Secondly, each chapter concludes with a set of practical questions and exercises that help the reader process the chapter content. Both things enhance the value of the book for any parent seeking to grow with their children through adolescence and emerging adulthood.

Growing With offers parents a solid and well-supported paradigm for parenting that isn’t neatly tied-up-in-bow, but clearly effective. Powell and Argue speak truthfully about the messiness and challenges of parenting. But they offer parents a hopeful way forward to grow with their kids into adulthood. Highly recommended.

[Andrew Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Here we go again”, you might be thinking, but Growing With is not just another Christian parenting book offering trite answers or cliché solutions. With teenagers of my own, I have agonized trying to guide them to make wise choices, build a family relationship, and have a vibrant faith. Though my goal has been to provide a bright future for them, we more often seemed to fight than agree. Growing With has changed my perspective of, and approach to, parenting the two young people in my home!

Growing With is a research-based guide to parenting a new generations with love, grace, and hope. While it describes the challenges faced by young people 13-30. Instead of giving steps, it encourages authenticity as families journey together. Parents aren’t merely practitioners, but fellow pilgrims – growing with young people – as the title suggests. How parents support independence, model faith, and relinquish control can help young people develop lives of purpose and meaning and grow closer to their families.

If you have struggled in a tug of war with a teen or young adult concerning the direction of their future, Growing With will help you to trust God as these young people blaze a new path in a world far different than their parents experienced. Giving up control doesn’t mean giving up connection. Instead, it means offering authentic support, loving example, and patient release.

Growing with acknowledges the difficult reality of parenting today, and highlights the importance of continuing the journey long after the typical milestones of graduation or leaving home. This parenting book isn’t about making kids behave or creating the perfect child. It is about the development of families. Parents and kids growing together on the journey of life.

[Jamie Meyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved the “Sticky Faith” concept since I first heard it, and read anything by Kara Powell that I can get my hands on. The importance of passing our faith on to our kids is not something Colby and I take lightly. But we are alao preparing for the day that our kids step out on their own and make a life for themselves, and we understand the importance and responsibility we have to prepare them for that day. So when I saw this book I knew I had to read it.

The authors tackle the idea of not just raising your kids but actually growing with them. What does it look like to parent a teenager into young adulthood? Does your responsibility as a parent end the day they turn 18? How can you transition into this new role in their life and at the same time set them up for their best success? What does encouraging them in their faith in this stage of their life look like? These and soooo many more questions were answered in such an incredible way!

If you have kids 12-28, or will in the future, or if you work with teenagers or young adults in any way, you need to read this book. Honestly, it’s written gold and will help you so much through the transition phases you’ll face with your kiddos.

[Joshua Comer · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent, I'm really grateful for this book.
As a pastor, I'm relieved that parents can have this book in their arsenal.

Here's what I love:
1. The book is incredibly informative.
Backed by Fuller Theological Seminary, the book is full of original and published research. It's not "fluffy;" what they write is what the best data would tell you. It can get stuffy, sometimes, so if you don't care about the research, skip it (the authors give you permission in the book).

2. It's incredibly practical.
The authors (Kara & Steven) give incredible examples, both personal and learned, that are really easily implemented into family life. Every chapter has applications. Some of them are revolutionary. But, I imagine, if you're reading a parenting book, some of the tips won't be that surprising. And honestly, that was okay with me, because it made me realize I wasn't alone!

3. It's the perfect combination of depth, length, and levity.
I've read 3 other books for parents this year (leave me alone, it's for research). This book said more, more clearly and with more detail. And it was a good time. It's a no-brainer.

[Michele S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book from Kara Powell! As a parent of teens, I felt this book was informative and full of ideas to use with my family. I like how the research is woven throughout the book. I also like that this research sheds light on the young adult group - sometimes backing up my beliefs of this group while at other times offering a different perspective that helps me to understand them better. It provides encouragement for parents in the midst of the teen/young adult stage by offering ideas on how to be a better parent -- but it's not preachy either. Both Kara and Steven share personal stories where they have succeeded and also where they have failed. It provides hope for parents. We are all on a journey with our children -- and we need to be growing alongside of them! I really liked the ideas of "withing", "faithing" and "adulting" -- opening my eyes to seeing things in a new way. I

[Alan Mercer · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a youth worker and a parent of young adults, I appreciated the insights, ideas, and practical advice I found in Growing With. It is all too easy as a parent to not “grow with” your children, but rather try to stick with the tried and true parenting methods that worked when they were small. As a youth worker, I know these methods need to change, but as a parent, I struggle to adapt. I like control and control is not realistic or healthy with emerging adults. Powell and Argue do a great job of framing three different stages of development in the relationship between parent and child in these teenage and young adult years. Each stage has helpful resources and ideas for strengthening the relationship between parent and child as well as practical wisdom for what to expect and how to thrive in each stage. This book is a “must add” to the resource list of parents and youth workers.

[Christian Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am thankful for this helpful and practical book. I am grateful as both a parent as well as pastor. As a parent this book encourages me in my personal journey of helping my two teenagers grow in their faith and preparing them to flourish in the adventure ahead of them. I know I am a better equipped parent for having read this book. Perhaps it is the stage my kids are out now, but part four of the book about “adulting” was most helpful to me for understanding the dynamics of connecting with others in these times of flux.

As a pastor, I am happy to have this wonderful resource available refer to fellow parents and ministry volunteers. Many parenting resources focus on the early years of childhood, but this book adresses the teeenage and young adult ages. I will be wholeheartedly recommending this resource to others.

[Chap Henricks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara and Steve have assembled a book that challenges current assumptions and changes ways of thinking as we seek to grow alongside our churches and young people. In lieu of the traditional age-based model of adolescents and young adults, Kara and Steve argue from their research and breadth of experience that we should look to a new set of categories when describing those ranging in age from 13-29. These new categories - Learner, Explorer, and Focuser - are more loosely connected to age and firmly connected to a place of social development. Growing With offers nuanced categories for mentors and parents as well, and uses the buckets of family, faith, and future to provide structure to thier discussion and insights for growing with our young adults. If you have any interaction with young adults at all, as a parent or in your church, this book is a must read for you!

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

With our only child moving away to college this year, I wanted some help navigating the necessary changes in our relationship with him. Jumping in to do things for him before he had a chance to try for himself has never been a great strategy, so now that that's physically impossible it's a good opportunity to curb that impulse. But what to replace it with?

Powell and Argue offer plenty of practical suggestions for parenting children in their late teens and twenties, but for me the biggest help is just their perspective on maintaining relationships and having that be the biggest priority. As my son moves from absorbing knowledge to exploring his options and ultimately focusing on a vocation, Powell and Argue challenge me to step back and let him do more on his own while also reaffirming my instinct to keep the relationship warm and open.

[Mike Weniger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing With is a must-read book for parents and mentors of teenagers and young adults, as well as children of all ages. Even if parents have young children, the ideas shared in this book will help them prepare for when their kids get older. The definition of Growing With parenting, as shared in the book, sums up what the parenting journey should be: “A mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all.” Kara Powell and Steven Argue use the dynamic verbs withing, faithing, and adulting as ways adults can support young people in life and in faith. If you want to understand what role to play, as a parent or mentor at different points in young people’s lives, you need to read Growing With.

[Robin Patras · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading “Growing With” is like grabbing a cup of coffee, pulling up a chair and having a conversation with old friends. Kara and Steve open up and get real about the joys and struggles of parenting young people from 13-29. “Growing With” is not your typical ‘how to’ book that talks ‘at’ you. Rather, it’s a field guide for parents that connects research based insight with practical strategies for parenting today’s young people as they navigate the awkward time of transitioning from teens to young adults. As a Director of Children’s Ministry and the parentt of an older teen and three twenty-something’s, I can honestly say this is a must read for parents, grandparents, youth workers and anyone who loves the young people in their life!

[Stephanie Ziebarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing With by Kara Powell and Steven Argue is an excellent resource for any parent and for anyone who works with young people. Using solid research and real-life stories, the authors guide parents of 13-29-year-olds through the changing seasons of parenting emerging adult children. Despite being research-based, the book keeps readers’ interest and motivates them in their own growth journeys. There are not only doable application steps included throughout the content, but there are thought-provoking, helpful questions at the end of each chapter. I personally found an abundance of help and encouragement for my roles as both parent and ministry leader. I enthusiastically recommend this book.

[Kristin Gustafson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing with is a gamechanger for parenting. It brilliantly helps you understand how to grow with your teen and young adult through the ever-widening and confusing stage called growing up. It sets a framework that will help you understand where your kid is at and how you can change your parenting approach to fit the stage they are in. It also is filled with practical examples so you walk away from the book with more than just theory, you see what it looks like in practice. As a youth pastor and as a parent of a teen and a young adult, this book was like an Oasis in the challenge of parenting that gave hope, peace, and strength for the journey ahead!

[Jimmy Bero · Rating 5 out of 5]

6/5 stars! Maybe more!!!

This is the new gold standard for parents who desire to raise their teenagers and young adults to love and follow Jesus while they face the many challenges of growing up. From the thesis statement that basically says life is a mutual journey of transformation for parents and their kids to the countless examples and stories shared throughout the pages, this book is perfect. For the next 20-30 years there won’t be a more essential book for parents of teens and young adults. Any parent hoping to learn and grow needs to read and apply this NOW. An entire generation of young people deserve it.

[Diane Higgins · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Growing With” by Kara Powell and Steven Argue is a very informative guide to help parent’s in raising their teenagers and young adults. This book focuses on the subjects of faith, family and future. I have a 17 and 23 year old, so this book was very informative for me.

I liked how they broke up teenagers/young adults in the categories of: learners, explorers and focusers. Teenagers and young adults mature at different ages, and this helped classify my kids in where they needed to be. I gained some great information through reading this book. This book is definitely one I will keep and refer to often.

I received this book from Baker Books for my honest opinion.

[Travis Bow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty unique as far as parenting books go, with a focus on parenting teens and relating to your kids in their 20s, with lots of research-based advice and examples from interviewing a bunch of parents identified as great examples by various churches. Brought up some good issues to think about in the near and far future, like how to get to know your teen's friends and handle dating and or pressure or how to react if your kid decides to pursue a career you don't see promise in, or live with their significant other before marriage, or abandon church when they go to college. A little dry at times but I appreciated the research-backed and reasonable tone.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I listened to this book on audio as part of a virtual Sunday School class at our church and we are so thankful that we did. It's an amazing book for families with children around 11 years old or older, including the years after your children have moved out on their own. Although the book is faith-based, it would be helpful to anyone hoping their children share their ideals, keep in relationship with the family, and live happy successful lives.