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Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together

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Technology has allowed us to connect with more people in more places than ever before. Sure we have “friends” we even have “followers” and yet, a silent epidemic is sending shock waves straight into our living rooms. What is this hidden disease? Loneliness. Popular author Erin Davis knows what it’s like to feel lonely. She knows how it feels to have many friends, a full schedule, and a pit in her stomach. As she wrestled her own feelings of loneliness to the ground, Erin started to feel like the scientist charged with finding the cure for the lonely epidemic—a journey that has proved to be funny, encouraging, and helpful. What is causing the pain of loneliness to gnaw at our hearts? What does God know about feeling alone? While swimming in a sea of people, what’s a lonely girl to do? Where should she turn for a life raft? Erin has traveled across the country to talk with other women and answer these questions for us all. Come along in Connected to learn about her journey as well as the stories of women who are probably a lot like you!

227 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 4, 2014

27 people are currently reading
289 people want to read

About the author

Erin Davis

72 books58 followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Erin Davis is a popular speaker, author, and blogger, Erin is passionately committed to sharing God's truth with others. She is the author of several books including Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess: Embracing Humility in an All About Me World, Beyond Bath Time, and the One Girl Series. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. When she's not writing, you can find her herding goats, chickens, and children.

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5 stars
58 (38%)
4 stars
50 (33%)
3 stars
33 (21%)
2 stars
8 (5%)
1 star
2 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
Profile Image for Kathrin.
867 reviews57 followers
April 16, 2017
I received a free copy of this book via NetGalley.

I wanted to like this book. I honestly did but learned quite early that it won't work for me. To be honest, the amount of religious believe that was repeated over and over again disturbed me. I usually spend a lot of time trying to spot those books in order to avoid them as I know I'm just not interested in reading them. I believe by checking out the information on Goodreads and NetGalley on the book it was impossible to see the connection. Truth be told, if I had looked at the author's profile I would've been aware of the fact and avoided the book.

The topic is highly interesting. I think a lot about my use of social media and the time I spend online - I've got to admit that I share the feeling of being lonely while constantly talking to other people. Unfortunately, while church and religion is the answer to this problem for other people, it won't work for me.
The author makes some really good observations and I like her train of thoughts which is why I settled for 2 stars in the end. To be honest, the parts of the book that focused on the topic of loneliness as well as how the internet changes our daily lives are great. The book is really easy to read and I like the author's writing style.
Unfortunately, every other chapter in the book was about finding a new hold within your religious community which is okay for people interested in this approach. My opinion differs a lot on topics like sin, shame and values which is why some parts of the book highly annoyed me. If you don't mind you'll find an interesting book - it just wasn't right for me.
Profile Image for Ioana.
336 reviews8 followers
February 21, 2015
Loneliness is such a widely discussed topic. Whoever spends a few days (maybe less) on any social media platform will encounter a pin, a tweet, a share, a something advising and encouraging to step away from the said social media medium and connect in real life. As in, face to face, with people and use words and stuff when relating to them. Well, let me tell you something. I agree. But in the same time I think it’s hard, man! It takes courage and compassion and vulnerability to step out into the real word and engage. To connect.

Loneliness hits when you least expect it, and when it hits, I hits like a brick. The author lists some factors that unveil or trigger the loneliness, such as sudden changes; our stubbornness in holding tight to our schedules and busy lives; sin; our unwillingness to be vulnerable (both a cause for sorrow and joy - see Brene Brown's talk); our lack of fellowship with God. These factors are all real and true, some with a greater immediate impact than others. It’s such a clear and obvious thing that when we have our priorities in check, somehow we know how to navigate those seasons of loneliness. No, not eradicate it completely, but to not fall in the pit of self-pity and self-imposed loneliness. As all seasons, there’s something to be learned in each, when there’s sorrow, or we go through a change, a transition, when we feel betrayed, or in the hard times when we have to carry a cross that seems unbearable.

Probably the part that is worth insisting upon and without which this book would have been useless, is the emphasis on a serious, personal relationship with God. His presence with us at all times, in all seasons of life is the great news of great joy. God loves us. He is enough. From Him spring all things. This is such a simple and at the same time overlooked factor. While reading the book I realized how prone I am to look for quick ways to fix things. Microwave solutions to both loneliness and any other aspects of life. Dwelling in the truth that God is enough is the starting point of all good things.
Going from here, the author stressed the importance of church community. It makes sense since the Church is the body of Christ and it is built on and around Him. I am so glad she didn’t overlooked this aspect!

As far as research goes, honestly, I would have loved maybe a few more personal stories. She just mentions some relevant to each chapter. She also makes references to some Bible studies and commentaries, come general studies on the topic of loneliness, and to Brené Brown’s TED talk, ThePower of Vulnerability. (Brene Brown also has some books worth checking out.) I personally think this small portion of research is okay for this book, but for someone looking for more data about loneliness, its factors, cures & co, this is just a recommended starting point.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this. It’s a pretty fast read. I can’t say that the things written were illuminating in themselves, but what I found helpful were the way in which the information was structured and that can go a long way.
31 reviews
July 9, 2022
Great book for those struggling with Loneliness. Erin Davis' witty humor shines bright, along with Biblical teaching. I'm glad I read this book for a book study!
Profile Image for Erin Straza.
Author 2 books46 followers
July 1, 2014
Challenging thoughts from Erin Davis regarding our lack of deep connections. I especially appreciated her analysis of isolation and vulnerability avoidance as contributing factors. Erin offers plenty of personal examples and hope from Scripture to help readers reflect and apply the insights. I highly recommend this for small groups and book clubs. An excellent read!

Merged review:

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Erin Davis's Connected. Not only is she personable in style, her ideas are backed by solid research and Scripture. She makes a strong, convincing case for us to intentionally pursue deep, meaningful relationships. I especially appreciated her insights in how isolation and fear of vulnerability prevent the very relationships we long for. If you need a pick for a small group study or a book club, I think you'd find plenty of discussion fodder here!
Profile Image for Jennifer Johnston.
206 reviews
July 22, 2020
Pandemic

I had this book in my library for a very long time due to the topic being something I needed to improve in my life. Since we are experiencing a medical pandemic and that is used as an analogy in this book, I thought it timely. The writing style reminded me very much of a topical blog... written “girlfriend style.” 4 stars because this hits the mark in many ways about the power of and reason for connecting with others. A good starting point for further reading on (and praying about) this topic.
Profile Image for Kaitlyn Bouchillon.
Author 1 book132 followers
January 19, 2015
In a book that this generation certainly needs, Erin paints a picture that at our very core we long to be connected. She weaves her personal story of loneliness and community throughout the book, while also including Scripture and quotes from women she has interviewed. While I'm glad that I was given the opportunity to read this book and was encouraged to dive deeper into community, I think it still leaves much to be said on this topic.
Profile Image for Shannon.
4 reviews
June 18, 2014
A book sprouting from my very own heart! Erin Davis reaches in and grabs ahold of a place within myself that has been lurking for some time. Her words are honest and down-to-earth with a touch of yo-go-girl. A must read for anyone struggling with being alone in a crowded world.
Profile Image for Kelly.
614 reviews2 followers
October 1, 2018
Technology has allowed us to connect with more people in more places than ever before. Sure we have “friends” we even have “followers” and yet, a silent epidemic is sending shock waves straight into our living rooms. What is this hidden disease? Loneliness. Popular author Erin Davis knows what it’s like to feel lonely. She knows how it feels to have many friends, a full schedule, and a pit in her stomach. As she wrestled her own feelings of loneliness to the ground, Erin started to feel like the scientist charged with finding the cure for the lonely epidemic—a journey that has proved to be funny, encouraging, and helpful. What is causing the pain of loneliness to gnaw at our hearts? What does God know about feeling alone? While swimming in a sea of people, what’s a lonely girl to do? Where should she turn for a life raft? Erin has traveled across the country to talk with other women and answer these questions for us all. Come along in Connected to learn about her journey as well as the stories of women who are probably a lot like you!

I really enjoyed this book. I read a chapter a day and found it to be a quick read but with lots of thought provoking ideas/quotes. My favorite chapter was chapter six. I LOVED this quote:

“If you’re going to get connected, you’re going to have to make peace with messy relationships. You’re going to have to be okay with letting others in when you are at your worst and your life is a total train wreck. You also must be willing to turn the tables. When other people lives are messy, you can’t turn a blind eye or offer cheap words of comfort. You must willingly walk into the mess, even if they’re hiding, and bear the bad stuff together…Valuing people means adopting an overt willingness to be inconvenienced. It means doing doing things that can’t be measured. It means developing relationships based on who people really are and not who we want them to be.”

This author could still be writing this book and never be finished. We are in a world that is craving connection but going about it all the wrong way. So many people are lonely. I am convinced by it every day by what I see on the news. Shortly after finishing this book I was in a moment of crises and found myself depending on friends more then ever. Our home was flooding and we stayed with friends and they took care of all of our needs. It was a huge blessing and stretching. Our life was messy and it didn’t scare them away. I hope some day I can remember that and do the same. Be vulnerable, you never know how you will be blessed.

I rate this book a 4 out of 5 stars.
Profile Image for Luann Habecker.
283 reviews2 followers
Read
July 31, 2021
pg 32, 42, 50,

phone pings/email = feeling known?

What aren't we doing by spending time on FB, tv...

Satan as crafty. cunning. He will trick us. stalks us, much like a lion pride stalks their prey. 1 peter 5:8

God does not change. He does not retreat form us. When distance and isolation creep into our relationship with Him, it is always our choice not Gods. (cycle of rebellion)

bible mentions the value of hard work 30ish times and Sabbath rest 150 times.
taking a day to rest and refuel requires self-denial. to pull the brakes on our busyness, inconvenient to have a regular rhythm of rest, to allow white space in our lives. The sabbath is a gift to you.

times of transition, pg 154

God is ever present. He is a refuge from the gnawing pain of loneliness. He consistently seeks to know and be known in a life filled with inconsistencies.

she could have stayed but the stream, waiting for a different kind of comfort. begging people to see and validate her pain. but she chose to let God be enough. God saw her. He looked after her. She let that be enough.
Profile Image for Kirsten.
2 reviews1 follower
December 17, 2016
An easy read in the sense that topics flow in a sequential fashion; however, content wise, loneliness is a difficult and uncomfortable subject to discuss. Whether one is experiencing chronic loneliness or a season of loneliness, Davis's transparency and vulnerability not only allow the reader to sympathize with her struggles, but also reflect on one's personal life, where the similarities between the two experiences can be highlited. At the end of the day, Davis's insight that "like an alarm clock set at regular intervals, loneliness is the reminder we need to wake up and be aware of who God is and how much we need Him" puts an aspect of loneliness into perspective. When we isolate ourselves from God and others in order to preserve a "holy" self-image, we are preventing the acceptance of our true selves: when we are truly known, then we can be truly loved. I encourage you to read this book regardless of how lonely you feel or where you consider yourself to be in your faith.
18 reviews
December 25, 2021
Erin Davis puts to words the feelings and aches many have felt in seasons of loneliness. This book allowed for many exhales as I realized I wasn’t alone in the cycle and thoughts that loneliness leaves us with. The beautiful thing about this book is that as I read it I was empowered to do the hard work of connecting, which lead to new life-giving friendships and me putting the book down for a couple months before finishing it. Great, vulnerable writing!
Profile Image for Donna.
68 reviews3 followers
April 30, 2021
Very interesting look at how important it is for us to be connected to others and discusses that feeling of loneliness many of us have felt even when we are not alone. Being alone leaves us vulnerable to temptations that lead us away from God.
Profile Image for Allie.
2 reviews
July 10, 2022
Great book read as a book study. At a time when not only relational pandemic is rampant, the world is in a Covid pandemic and the feeling of loneliness has exploded. Biblical truths woven through this book and a really enjoyable read. Erin Davis rocked it!
Profile Image for Lecy Beth.
1,834 reviews13 followers
June 26, 2017
Connected is a book about the loneliness epidemic in a world where technology has us so tied into the hub of quick communication and ease of access to anyone we desire to connect with. We can reach out to friends and colleagues in a moment's notice. We know what their children are doing in school and we know where they went to dinner last Tuesday night, but we rarely sit down, face to face, and have a conversation with these people. We have never been so disconnected from each other.

Let's first discuss the design of the book. The cover art is a group of birds sitting on several telephone wires and although it does (sort of) align with the overall theme of the book, I felt that there could have been a better design. At first, I thought this was just the ARC cover, but no, it is the cover on all copies. Perhaps something more related to technology and humans would have better portrayed this work. Had I seen this on the shelf at a bookstore, I would have skipped right over it because there was nothing to draw me in and make me want to read the story.

The overall structure of the book was a little confusing to me and maybe this is just the case with the Kindle version, but there aren't defined chapters, rather lots of headings and subheadings. The titles of these headings weren't overly descriptive of the coming section, but something like "There's a Hole in My Sidewalk". Again, this made me ponder how the title fit the book rather than absorbing the information the author meant for me to focus on - the actual storyline.

The writing was good. Erin Davis does a good job of getting her point across and writes very poetically. The content is very heavy on Scripture and I felt like this could have been cut back a bit. I am a Christian and can appreciate using Biblical references in books but when a passage is used to back up EVERY. SINGLE. POINT. it becomes a bit tedious. This book is really not relevant unless you have a firm basis in faith and Scripture already and nothing in the title or book description alludes to the fact that this is a faith-based book. The spectrum of readership could have been broadened a bit by tying in more facts related to the technology and interpersonal relationships rather than only using Scripture as a source.

Overall, I'd recommend this book to someone who is looking for answers about how to let go of the need to communicate solely through the use of digital devices and step back into a real connection with the people around them. This is definitely a good book for those who have a Bible-based faith and enjoy learning how Biblical stories can relate to communication and relationships today.

*I received an advance reading copy from the publisher for my honest review. All opinions are my own.*
85 reviews10 followers
April 9, 2015
It is sad that we live in a society in which people feel like they are more connected than ever via technology and yet are more lonely than ever in reality. Busyness and misplaced priorities are a huge culprit. I long for a world in which Sunday dinners with family and more in person interactions with friends are the norm. I absolutely think it is why there is such a prevalence of depression and why so many people feel so alone. Connected hits the nail on the head several times about relationships- actual real-life, in person relationships, not the superficial all online kind- and the things that have led them to have almost disappeared. Smart phones and Facebook seem to take priority over real life get togethers- something I think many people will regret years down the line-up you can't ever get that time back. The book gets off track several times for me into other subjects when I think the absolute focus should be on how we as a society can get back the community aspect of relationships, but the author's heart is in the right place. This is definitely a subject we should all take the time to think about.

*I received a copy of the book from the publisher via NetGalley.
Profile Image for Eryn.
403 reviews6 followers
July 19, 2019
I've never written a review, or rated a book, before I was even finished with it. But there is a first for everything.

When I first saw this book, and read about it, the idea sounded interesting and important. Especially in an age where everyone is attached to technology, myself included.

Maybe I should have done a bit more research, or paid closer attention to the description of the book, but I didn't realize this was going to be a book that preached the bible and Christianity, and what is right and wrong. While I would love to write a super extensive rant about this book. I won't. It's not worth the effort. I will simply say if you are not a religious person, do not read this book. I'm halfway through and I feel like I have sat through an hour-long sermon about what is sinful and what is not.

Again, maybe it's my own fault for not paying closer attention to the description, but this is not what at all what I thought it was going to be. This is an important topic, and this book most certainly does not cover it.

I will finish it, purely because I refuse to put a book down, no matter how much I don't like it.
35 reviews
October 19, 2014
Grateful for this book

In this last few years I have struggled and walked through seasons of loneliness. This book was so encouraging and gave me a lot to consider as I am walking through this season. I was very charged at the difference between just pursuing being loved and loving others and seeking to be known and to know others. I know I will be pondering those things for a while. I also loved the end of the book: being reminded of the gospel and Jesus's work for me, the truth that God sees me, knows all out me, and loves me, and lastly how these truths should change me and Christ's church. I highly recommend this book for any woman, but especially the one who is walking through a season of loneliness.
Profile Image for Becca.
790 reviews48 followers
August 2, 2016
I HIGHLY recommend this book, even if "lonely" is not a word you would use to describe yourself. :) We are all in need of connection, and Erin Davis does an awesome job of showing us why and how. Read my full review here. *I received a free copy of the book in ebook form through netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review.*
Profile Image for Beverly S.
24 reviews1 follower
May 10, 2016
I liked the premise of this book: that technology is making us less connected as a society. I managed to get through the first part but it was the second that I had some issues with completing. I was not expecting all that Scripture that she places in the book to prove her connection points. For me this was a turn off.
Profile Image for Sara.
102 reviews2 followers
September 30, 2015
Nailed the increasing loss of personal communication in a world of technology and social media
1 review
April 17, 2016
Very inspiring!

I think we all go through a season of loneliness a time or two. We are blessed when we have others to help pull us out of that place.
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