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The Goodbye Diaries
Two months to live. That's what the doctor says.
Sally responds with grace and optimism.
Marisa responds by closing herself off. If her mother is going to die before she graduates from high school, why even try. Cancer has already ruined everything.
Honest and heartfelt, The Goodbye Diaries offers a touching glimpse into both sides of terminal illness—the one who will leave and the one who will be left behind. Told in alternating voices, Sally and Marisa reveal their fears, their frustrations, and their fierce connection to each other.
This poignant mother-daughter memoir is an intimate look at unconditional love during a heart-breaking goodbye.
Sally responds with grace and optimism.
Marisa responds by closing herself off. If her mother is going to die before she graduates from high school, why even try. Cancer has already ruined everything.
Honest and heartfelt, The Goodbye Diaries offers a touching glimpse into both sides of terminal illness—the one who will leave and the one who will be left behind. Told in alternating voices, Sally and Marisa reveal their fears, their frustrations, and their fierce connection to each other.
This poignant mother-daughter memoir is an intimate look at unconditional love during a heart-breaking goodbye.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
247 pages, Paperback
First published May 7, 2019
5 people are currently reading
289 people want to read
About the author
Marisa Bardach Ramel
2 books5 followersMarisa Bardach Ramel is author of The Goodbye Diaries: A Mother-Daughter Memoir (Wyatt-MacKenzie, May 2019). She’s a former magazine editor who has written for Seventeen, Prevention, Woman’s Day, Glamour, HuffPost, POPSUGAR, xoJane, Modern Loss, and more. She lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband, toddler boy, and baby girl.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 9, 2019
I broke down crying when I finished this book. The story follows teenager Marisa as she deals with her mother's cancer diagnosis while trying to make the big step from high school to college.
I'm not generally a memoir reader, but this book certainly didn't feel like a memoir in the way I normally think of them. It felt a lot more like reading a new-adult coming-of-age fiction novel the way it is written. While I knew the book would be about the relationship between the author and her mother, I wasn't expecting all of the fun and compelling story arcs about the author's personal life. For example, the author's love triangle with Wilson and Tony is very entertaining. The classic love triangle trope is not something I often enjoy, but something about knowing it happened in real life makes it so good.
There are a lot of really good story arcs that play out during the book: Marisa's confusion about her future and picking a college, her role as a female drummer, her relationship with her friend Laura, and her trying to maintain a college relationship while her boyfriend is studying abroad in Spain. Watching Marisa go through all of these life events while receiving advice from her mom is what highlights the mother-daughter relationship so strongly.
The book being dual-narrated by both Marisa and her mom, Sally, is striking. Knowing that Sally's parts were written in real-time made me feel like I personally knew her myself. I enjoyed watching scenes play out in Marisa's point of view, and then getting Sally's take on it a few pages later. While I did feel as though Marisa was the main narrator, and I found myself enjoying her parts a bit more, I'm really glad Sally's parts were shared.
There was something especially exciting for me about seeing a story take place between 1999 and 2002. I'm a big reader of more contemporary YA books which often try so hard to pound the reader over the head with modern pop culture references, so I had such a refreshingly good time with references to Blink-182 and Jimmy Eat World. It was also interesting to see the characters' real-time reaction to 9/11, especially in a story whose theme is death. The author makes a comparison of sudden death and a drawn-out death by cancer and it is one of the most profound moments in the book.
As someone who is also from Long Island, went to Syracuse University, and has a strong relationship with a mother who is a cancer-survivor, this book resonated with me very strongly. However, I think everyone can relate to the story of a young person's relationship with her parent. The story is heart-breaking and gripping, and even though you know how it ends the entire time you read, you will cry when you reach those final few chapters. I think this is a must-read for anyone who enjoys stories with great characters and a captivating plot. It will also remind you to appreciate what you have and let those you are closest to know how much you love them.
I'm not generally a memoir reader, but this book certainly didn't feel like a memoir in the way I normally think of them. It felt a lot more like reading a new-adult coming-of-age fiction novel the way it is written. While I knew the book would be about the relationship between the author and her mother, I wasn't expecting all of the fun and compelling story arcs about the author's personal life. For example, the author's love triangle with Wilson and Tony is very entertaining. The classic love triangle trope is not something I often enjoy, but something about knowing it happened in real life makes it so good.
There are a lot of really good story arcs that play out during the book: Marisa's confusion about her future and picking a college, her role as a female drummer, her relationship with her friend Laura, and her trying to maintain a college relationship while her boyfriend is studying abroad in Spain. Watching Marisa go through all of these life events while receiving advice from her mom is what highlights the mother-daughter relationship so strongly.
The book being dual-narrated by both Marisa and her mom, Sally, is striking. Knowing that Sally's parts were written in real-time made me feel like I personally knew her myself. I enjoyed watching scenes play out in Marisa's point of view, and then getting Sally's take on it a few pages later. While I did feel as though Marisa was the main narrator, and I found myself enjoying her parts a bit more, I'm really glad Sally's parts were shared.
There was something especially exciting for me about seeing a story take place between 1999 and 2002. I'm a big reader of more contemporary YA books which often try so hard to pound the reader over the head with modern pop culture references, so I had such a refreshingly good time with references to Blink-182 and Jimmy Eat World. It was also interesting to see the characters' real-time reaction to 9/11, especially in a story whose theme is death. The author makes a comparison of sudden death and a drawn-out death by cancer and it is one of the most profound moments in the book.
As someone who is also from Long Island, went to Syracuse University, and has a strong relationship with a mother who is a cancer-survivor, this book resonated with me very strongly. However, I think everyone can relate to the story of a young person's relationship with her parent. The story is heart-breaking and gripping, and even though you know how it ends the entire time you read, you will cry when you reach those final few chapters. I think this is a must-read for anyone who enjoys stories with great characters and a captivating plot. It will also remind you to appreciate what you have and let those you are closest to know how much you love them.
April 3, 2019
As if the high school/college transition isn't confusing enough, Marisa is dealt the blow of her mother's cancer diagnosis just as she's about to finish high school. Reading about her reaction to the situation and how she processed it forced me to remember all the times I was rude to my parents as an adolescent—just because I was lost and confused—and the unconditional love I received in return.
The Goodbye Diaries is about more than a terminal illness—it's about hope, family bonds, teenage love and friendships, facing one's emotions, and coming of age in an always-unpredictable world. I'm an avid memoir reader, but I had yet to encounter the unique back-and-forth diary setup between Marisa and her mom. It will tug at your heartstrings and remind you not only to hold your loved ones tight, but that we're all human and trying to do our best.
The Goodbye Diaries is about more than a terminal illness—it's about hope, family bonds, teenage love and friendships, facing one's emotions, and coming of age in an always-unpredictable world. I'm an avid memoir reader, but I had yet to encounter the unique back-and-forth diary setup between Marisa and her mom. It will tug at your heartstrings and remind you not only to hold your loved ones tight, but that we're all human and trying to do our best.
April 12, 2019
If you are like me and refuse to read sad books because … life. Don’t be. This book is awesome. Marisa Bardach brings the reader back to the worst time of her teenage years, and we have to thank her for her brutal honesty. This book is a great reminder that ageing is a gift, and time, a great ally. I can’t wait to see what she writes next.
May 30, 2019
Beautiful wonderful mom, stricken unexpectedly with cancer, 17yr old beautiful wonderful daughter learns how to live without her best friend. For those of us, the motherless daughters, this is a pain and grief like no other. Heartbreaking, indeed, but a well written and powerful memoir. Amazing love story, wish I could have known Sally. What a lovely, strong lady.
May 19, 2019
Reading grief books, stories that mirror my own recent experiences, is so cathartic for me.
June 6, 2019
I can't say enough about how much I loved this book. You think you know what it is about as the synposis is pretty clear... the story of a mom and daughter dealing with a terminal diagnosis. But it is so much more than that. The Goodbye Diaries spans so many ages and so many people can relate to it, but I love the college Marisa the most. She is so so relatable to anyone going to college but especially because she is living with this secret and trying to stay as normal as possible through it all. I think it is really eye opening to see lives that people live inside their own "inner circle" and when you meet them in other circumstances you don't know what they are going through. It gives lots of perspective on your relationships and how you view situations.
The writing is beautiful and flows so easily. If I didn't have kids, I could have finished this book easily in one afternoon as it really was a struggle to put it down and deal with my own life. As a mother, it was so nice to be in a place where I could relate to both sides of the stories (Marisa and Sally) and I found myself sometimes yearning for one voice and then other times wishing for the other. Their bond was so inspiring and makes me hope for that with my own children.
Overall I would give this book 10 stars if I could. It was such a wonderful story and so bittersweet as even though you know how it ends, you are still rooting for Sally to make it through.
I highly recommend this book - for mothers, daughters, sons, husbands... anyone that has a passion for human relationships. Simply brilliant.
The writing is beautiful and flows so easily. If I didn't have kids, I could have finished this book easily in one afternoon as it really was a struggle to put it down and deal with my own life. As a mother, it was so nice to be in a place where I could relate to both sides of the stories (Marisa and Sally) and I found myself sometimes yearning for one voice and then other times wishing for the other. Their bond was so inspiring and makes me hope for that with my own children.
Overall I would give this book 10 stars if I could. It was such a wonderful story and so bittersweet as even though you know how it ends, you are still rooting for Sally to make it through.
I highly recommend this book - for mothers, daughters, sons, husbands... anyone that has a passion for human relationships. Simply brilliant.
May 27, 2019
This book is a quick read because the story of Marisa and Sally is so well done that you want to keep turning the page to learn more about their journey. It's such a unique concept to read Marisa's feelings and memories of her mom battling cancer, and then witness almost the same scene through her mom's lens.
The way Marisa lets the reader into her life during high school and that first year of college was so realistic, at times I felt like I was back in the late 90s.
I witnessed my mom battle cancer, but survive, so this book pulled at my heartstrings. It makes you appreciate life and reminds us that we can't take any day for granted. Overall, it's a beautiful story about the bond between mother and daughter.
The way Marisa lets the reader into her life during high school and that first year of college was so realistic, at times I felt like I was back in the late 90s.
I witnessed my mom battle cancer, but survive, so this book pulled at my heartstrings. It makes you appreciate life and reminds us that we can't take any day for granted. Overall, it's a beautiful story about the bond between mother and daughter.
December 9, 2019
Marisa gave me a copy of her memoir to read a few years after we published one of her stories about her mom in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Thanks to My Mom. I put off reading it for a while because it's about her mother's journey through cancer and I was going through my own. But I finally read it now that I'm in remission and it was great. A wonderful story about a mother and teenage daughter making their way through all the normal stuff, plus so much more... because of the mother's prognosis. Marisa did an amazing job of pulling together her own teenage diaries and her mother's diary that she kept while she was going through her illness. Ultimately, I found this story so uplifting and I'm very glad hat I read it.
November 14, 2020
Loved this book. Touchingly and well written.
From page 242: "The guilt is eating me alive, and I'm worried that if I continue to hide Mom's prognosis from her, I'll always regret it..."Mom, do you know what's going on?" I ask gently.
"Everyone's coming to visit," she says slowly. "I must be dying."
I don't agree or disagree, but it's enough to assuage my guilt, to feel that Mom knows there's not much time.
Page 243: "You're a good kid, Miss."
A gentle whisper I'll remember my whole life. I make my tears have no sound, gulping down sobs. I pray my voice will be calm so she won't know it's good-bye.
"You're a good mom, Mom."
From page 242: "The guilt is eating me alive, and I'm worried that if I continue to hide Mom's prognosis from her, I'll always regret it..."Mom, do you know what's going on?" I ask gently.
"Everyone's coming to visit," she says slowly. "I must be dying."
I don't agree or disagree, but it's enough to assuage my guilt, to feel that Mom knows there's not much time.
Page 243: "You're a good kid, Miss."
A gentle whisper I'll remember my whole life. I make my tears have no sound, gulping down sobs. I pray my voice will be calm so she won't know it's good-bye.
"You're a good mom, Mom."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 21, 2019
The author reels the reader into this fascinating, dual perspective mother-daughter story. For those of us who have lost a parent to cancer, the read is cathartic, but it is ultimately a tightly-woven memoir for everyone. Full of love and even hope, the author so gracefully offers her own and her mother's insights that we become suspended between them ... and come to love them both.
July 21, 2019
Well told, these sad but positive mother-daughter diary entries are inspiring and honest. The family love is evident and the fight to make every minute count is heartening. The thoughtful, reflective writing make this book a must-read for everyone, any age, facing terminal illness with a loved one.
June 20, 2019
Beautiful story, beautifully told. Mother (Sally) and daughter (Marisa) express their feelings about Sally’s cancer diagnosis and her short survival expectancy. Both are gifted writers and easy to connect to.
July 29, 2019
Excellent, touching and well written. I should also add that it’s not as depressing of a read as one might expect. There are sad moments of course but overall it’s a touching story about family and relationships.
May 30, 2019
I cannot love this book more. It should be required reading for any female. It's beautifully written and wonderfully vulnerable!
June 22, 2019
Such a lovely and deeply empathetic read.
February 5, 2020
Oh my what a good read. Even though I was an adult and not a teen while walking with my mom through cancer, i can relate to Marisas feelings.
May 5, 2020
Five stars for mom, Sally. Five stars for daughter, Marisa. And five stars for the love between mothers and daughters.
September 24, 2025
I loved this book! It is one of those books that will sit in my heart forever. I cannot imagine the emotional strength and thoughtfulness to capture these moments in writing.
May 22, 2019
The Goodbye Diaries is a moving story that reminds you how complicated, yet special a mother-daughter relationship can be. If you're either, mom or daughter, you will relate deeply to both of these women. A must read.
April 22, 2021
This book is an alternating memoir between passages from the author's point of view and her mother’s perspective in her voice as if she's writing a diary. There is a chapter about her diagnosis, how their friendship changed, and even about a fight, they had after she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
The author wrote so beautifully about the mother-daughter relationship, not just with her mother but with her children. In the prologue, the author noted that when she was pregnant, she was so terrified of miscarriage, writing, “My daughter reassures me from the inside with an Olympic gymnast tumble the way she has throughout my pregnancy. The seismic shift in my belly leaves me in awe. ‘She never makes me worry,’ I say to friends about the acrobatics. And yet, by her mere presence and the fear of her absence, she makes me worry all the time. She quiets down. Resting a hand on my stomach, I caress a leg or an arm, who knows which and imagine my little girl brightening up the spaces left dark by my grief, and I wait.”
In the epilogue, she wrote another lovely passage, saying, “I lay on the couch and hold my newborn daughter close, her tiny ear pressed against my swelling heart. Instead of telling her about my mom, I tell her about the kind of mom I long to be. With my silence, I show her that I will always listen. I remember all the times I went upstairs to my mother’s room and lay quietly beside her until the words began to trickle out. I sense that in the years to come, this is the only way my daughter, too, will reveal to me all the things deeply rooted in her heart. As my baby’s fingers clutch my hand, I realize that mothers draw strength from their daughters too.” I started crying when I read that.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/mar...
The author wrote so beautifully about the mother-daughter relationship, not just with her mother but with her children. In the prologue, the author noted that when she was pregnant, she was so terrified of miscarriage, writing, “My daughter reassures me from the inside with an Olympic gymnast tumble the way she has throughout my pregnancy. The seismic shift in my belly leaves me in awe. ‘She never makes me worry,’ I say to friends about the acrobatics. And yet, by her mere presence and the fear of her absence, she makes me worry all the time. She quiets down. Resting a hand on my stomach, I caress a leg or an arm, who knows which and imagine my little girl brightening up the spaces left dark by my grief, and I wait.”
In the epilogue, she wrote another lovely passage, saying, “I lay on the couch and hold my newborn daughter close, her tiny ear pressed against my swelling heart. Instead of telling her about my mom, I tell her about the kind of mom I long to be. With my silence, I show her that I will always listen. I remember all the times I went upstairs to my mother’s room and lay quietly beside her until the words began to trickle out. I sense that in the years to come, this is the only way my daughter, too, will reveal to me all the things deeply rooted in her heart. As my baby’s fingers clutch my hand, I realize that mothers draw strength from their daughters too.” I started crying when I read that.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/mar...
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews