Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual

by Elaine Mallon

HEALING AFTER THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER is a heartfelt and practical guidebook for those mourning the loss of their mother & for supporters hoping to help a loved one through the grief. Like a compassionate friend, author Elaine Mallon captures the raw, unique pain of losing your mother with empathy, honesty, and eloquence. She tenderly walks the reader through each step of the grieving process, offering straightforward answers to many common questions and addressing fears faced by those grieving, as well. This is an essential step-by-step guidebook for anyone uncertain about what to do or where to turn after their mother’s death. For those hoping to support someone who is grieving, this book also offers insight on how to comfort them by explaining what a person in mourning is going through and how to be most helpful to them. If you’ve lost your mother, please know If you’re grieving, you’re healing—and you are not alone. This grief recovery manual provides helpful information • What Can I Expect? The List • How Do I Do This? The Process • How Long Will This Pain Last? • Getting A Support System • Shifting Relationships • Identity Crisis • Grief Work vs. Allowing • Coping Tools • Grief vs. Depression • When to Seek Help • Triggers • Surviving the Holidays, Mother's Day, Birthdays and Special Occasions • The New Normal • The Path Toward Healing • What to Do/What Not to Do for Someone Grieving • Grief Community Forum Q&As * PERSONAL JOURNALING SECTION - Notes to Myself - Favorite Stories & Memories - Gratitude Journal

Healing After the Loss of Your A Grief & Comfort Manual has consistently been a popular Amazon Best Sellers book in several categories, including Grief & Bereavement, Self-Help (Mental & Spiritual Healing), Love & Loss, the Sociology of Death, and has been named among the 100 Best Grief Books of All Time by BookAuthority.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Death

187 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 24, 2018

About the author

Author Elaine Mallon knows the magnitude and overwhelming heartbreak of losing parents firsthand. With deep empathy for those who might feel lost, misunderstood, or alone after the death of their mother, Elaine felt compelled to write the compassionate grief recovery guidebook she desperately needed when her own mom unexpectedly died. After her father’s passing eight years later, she followed up with a second book about navigating double parental loss and entering this new stage in life as an “adult orphan.”

Her first book, "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual"—recognized among the Best Grief Books of All Time by BookAuthority— is a heartfelt and practical guidebook for those mourning the loss of their mother and for supporters hoping to help a loved one through grief.

Since its launch in 2018, the acclaimed self-help book has consistently been an Amazon Best Seller in several categories, including Grief & Bereavement, Mental & Spiritual Healing, Love & Loss, and Sociology of Death.

"Healing After the Loss of Your Parents: Finding Comfort & Purpose Through This New Life Stage as an Adult Orphan" is a natural follow-up to her first book. It's a topic that will one day touch all of us, yet seldom covered in grief literature.

"Healing After the Loss of Your Parents" is an insightful and empowering grief recovery guidebook that helps readers navigate through the disorienting “natural rite of passage,” cope with the profound changes that follow the death of their parents, and learn new ways to rebuild their life after loss.

Both books provide a road map through heartache… toward hope and healing.

In addition to writing, Mallon is a grief support advocate who founded two bereavement groups as companions to each book. In 2016, she established Healing After the Loss of Your Mother – Grief Support (approximately 25,000 members worldwide), and in 2024, formed Healing After the Loss of Your Parents – Grief Support. Both online groups are sacred spaces for those seeking comfort and community through their loss. They are free and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year on Facebook.

Elaine Mallon is an award-winning public relations and marketing veteran who began her professional career in entertainment publicity and later became Vice President, Media & Corporate Relations at 20th Century Fox Television.

She resides in Los Angeles, California.

Reviews

[Laura Loch · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom passed away unexpectedly two years ago & I started reading this about a week after & it was just too hard because of the grief that I was going through. I finally read the entire book instead of just a page at a time & than putting it down. I have to say that the author captures exactly how I’m feeling with different emotions, questions & knowing that I’m not alone in this. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who has lost their mother because it will help you come to terms with it. I found this to be a book of comfort & the author is obviously a caring person.

[Carole Skees · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feels like a hand holding yours as you grieve, feel, and accept loss.

[Karolina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book talked about a lot of stuff I knew already but there were a few things that resonated with me. I feel like in a book like this as long as you get one thing that resonates with you it is helpful. I think this book may be better for my fiancé to read or someone’s surrounding support group who has never had a loss of this kind to help them better understand what people are going through. But also for me this book was comforting to see some things of what i am feeling out down in a book and made me feel like I am not the only one feeling these types of ways with this type of loss.

[Jayne Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

It helped.

[Lindsey Schrimp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting and relatable

[Georgina Nicholos · Rating 4 out of 5]

After losing my mom last year, I was trying to find something that would help me understand through viewpoints of others. I lost my dad when I was 9, I am 25 now, so it's a big difference. Also because my mom and I were best friends. Anyway, I wanted to read something that could possibly serve as a comfort manual but not a manual manual. This book does that. Hubby didn't know what to get me for Christmas, so I asked him for this. I started reading after the holidays, which was about 9 months in to the loss. Because I started reading a little while in, this book helped me even more because certain things the author discussed, I had already been through. It was comforting, which is what I needed.

The first part is all about loss and each chapter represents different parts of grief, memories, holidays, timeframes, emotions, etc. She explains, in depth, how to navigate each milestone and emotion without directing. She uses her own loss as a way of doing so. This is important I think, especially in grief, because nobody needs to be told HOW to do anything. Instead, this book is more of "don't worry, it's normal" and I even went through this or that. It's extremely helpful and I think anyone who loses their mother needs to read this book. The second part is also helpful because it's for other people who need to learn how to comfort someone who is grieving. However, it's also special because by reading it, you may be able to figure out what you need or do not need from others to help you get through your grief.

Overall, it's a very special and helpful book. It's spot on. And it's done everything I wanted and needed it to. I've even re-read some chapters on very tough days. It's been over a year now, so in year 2, but still very difficult. I know this book will forever be special. And a cute sidetone, my bookmark for this book is a photo-booth print out of me and my mom when I was about 7, which makes it all the more special.

[Jen Tyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

It helped because she told her own story which I could relate.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is what it purports to be. It's simple, compassionate, and short. I doubt there is much in it the average person hasn't heard about grief, but there will still be little gems for everyone. It's not a book that will likely change your perspective, but it can help you keep perspective and know what to expect, while giving some helpful tips and tools. It is a gift, a little road map, from someone who's been down the path to those of us who are just stepping on the path of grieving our mothers.
There is also a whole section on how to support grieving people. I skipped it for now but imagine it's useful like the rest of the book and will revisit it someday.

[Gina Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to put into words how this book made me feel. Seen, understood, sad, connected, proud, empowered, hopeful…
I wish i had this book 2 years ago when i lost my mom and truly thought I would not survive.

“You will not move on, you will simply move forward.”

“There will be a day when your heart isn’t feeling so broken. You can then tell the pain, “Hush. You can go now.” That’s when you create more space for peaceful memories to find their way back in.“

“Your pain and scars can make you more compassionate, more vulnerable, stronger, and wiser.”

[Tracey Ellis]

No rating needed, just a comforting voice in a time of need

[Angela(Angie) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very helpful. I just wish that I did not have a reason to read this.

[Nina B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a comforting friend. It is providing me comfort during the most painful time of my life.

[Rochelle Squires · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very comforting guidebook in the wake of grief, like someone holding your hand, making space for your loss when you need it the most.

[Mary Burkholder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing really profound or psychological but very validating to all the crazy thoughts and feelings you experience when grieving. A comforting read.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a nice respite from the world of advice that people seem compelled to give me. The writing was really accessible and the tone was like a friend chatting. It was equal parts helpful and comforting. So many things to relate to because she's not a psychiatrist spouting theories. She's a woman who lost her mom unexpectedly and wanted to share from her own experiences. That works. At least it does for me.

I also liked reading the part about what others should do to support people grieving a loss. I wish people who knew me were required to read it because they don't get it, and sometimes what they say makes me feel even worse. She is right on about people not offering advice about how someone should grieve or what someone should do in the process for themselves. Seriously, when someone says, "I miss calling my mom and talking to her on the phone every day." The response is not to say, "You can call me." The response should be, "I know how much you miss her. It'll get better in time" or something along those lines. Calling someone else does not and can not replace calling one's mom. No one is a replacement.

Anyway, a big thank you to Elaine Mallon from this reader who has been struggling making her way these past few weeks.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered this book in anticipation of my mom’s passing. I am very happy that I did that because I would not have been in the right mind to order it when having to make funeral decisions. This book is a guide and comfort manual. Following my mom’s passing I would reach for this book daily. I review it now when I need words of inspiration and comfort. It has been nine months since my mom’s passing and this book has helped me grieve in so many ways.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book the day after my mom died. Excellent resource to navigate grief. I've both the kindle and audible version. Both are terrific. The book is divided into small sections which are easy to digest at a time when concentrating is so difficult.

[Terry S · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful gift I received when my mother recently passed away. It brings to light many internal feelings and struggles that are difficult to express or understand. A book to read again and again through the various stages of healing.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for everyone. We all lose someone special as life goes on. Losing the longest and likely closest relationship in our lives can be overwhelming. I lost my mother 10 months ago. We were not terribly close, yet the author’s advice has helped me navigate areas of guilt (for Mom and I not being as close as I would have liked) and has helped me deal with emotional moments that manifest seemingly out of nowhere. So many of my personal thoughts were validated, easing my mind and helping me continue to grieve in my own personal way. Especially helpful was the writing on what to say and what not to say. I will no doubt refer back to this book as I continue through my life. Truly a “must read” for all. (Audible did a fantastic job with the presentation, by the way…a soft, gentle, caring voice to deliver a sometimes heart-wrenching message.)

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have finally finished this book. It's a short read, but it was still too raw for me to go through all the emotions. I bought this book 6 months after my mom passed and it still took another 6 months to open it up and start reading. I kind of wish I started reading it when I first got it. Chapter 4 talked about all the firsts without your mom that first year. It could have helped me as I went through it. So many good lines in the book.
"They say your first love in life is your mother"
"Losing your mother is primal pain" SO very true.
"It is said that no one will ever love you the way your mother does and that is why it hurts so much"
I always sympathized with friends when they lost their mother or father, but unless it's happened to you, you have NO idea what that pain feels like. I recommend this to everyone who has lost their mother.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very helpful book dealing with the loss of your mother. It has so many helpful hints on how to grieve. It tells you the steps of how to grieve. It also tells you that not all people grieve the same way. I found it particularly helpful when I neared my mother's one year passing anniversary. The book gives you permission to do what is right for you as you grieve. It also gives you tips on how to help others through their grief. Grief is something we all go through and we do it in our own way and time. It tells you about the help that is out there to help you through. It is just an awesome book.

[Brissia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an easy and practical how to guide for navigating through the initial grief if losing one’s mother or person who raised us- it’s a great start for the first few months and figuring out a way for the next first years after our moms passing - I got it as a recommendation from a friend who had just lost her mom three months ago. My mom passed three years ago so I wish I had it then! It has a lot of useful coping exercises and things you need to hear for yourself in order to allow the process of grief and healing to begin.

[Katríne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book at Amazon to help me understand what I’m going through right now ~ even for just a bit.

I have a long way ahead of my journey with this thing called grief; I’ve people tell me to move on (like hello, this isn’t some kind of a break up that I can move on from) and I’ve heard things and stuff that aren’t helping me with my situation.

I’ve read the words I haven’t heard from other people in this book, and it helped me ease my mind for a bit.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a while to finish this short book because I kept returning to the first page to reread. And I did that throughout the book. I went back and read and reread certain chapters. I’ll continue to do that. Tomorrow, it will be two months since my mamma passed away. I cannot believe it. The pain is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m grateful for the helpful advice which suggests what I’m feeling is normal and universal.

[George · Rating 4 out of 5]

Contains helpful information and references to other works that may provide additional relief. Elaine’s writing is raw, honest, and concise.
More references to neuroscience and psychology may have been helpful. That said this book seems like a must-read for individuals caught in the turmoil of grief.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is was a hug for me. After loosing my mom in September of 2021 I was finding myself at a loss. I joined a FB group and found out about this book. This book validated all my feeling, emotions, and somehow knew just what I was going through. It was a relief to know that what I was going through I was not alone and I was okay to not be okay. I have read this book several times over since I bought it and I always find something new that I must have overlooked.

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book

really has been a big help for me. There has been so much loss in our family and sometimes it feels overwhelming. Understanding the grieving process has helped me see how I’ve been pushing loved ones away to not feel more pain later. I finally feel like I’m headed in the right direction toward healing. This book has been a valuable tool.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being very new to having lost my mom, I found the author very empathetic and helpful, having lost her own mother rather suddenly. I also appreciated sections that could help those who try to be supportive of us and about support groups, blogs, etc. I'm grateful to have found this book when I most needed it at the beginning of this sad journey.

[Lenore Kuipers-Cummins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent resource for anyone grieving the loss of their mother....whether it was 2 days ago or 5 years ago. Excellent comments from those who had been through the experience. Full of reference resources to go to at the end of the book to go to if needed.

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me about 20 months after my mom passed away to be ready to start reading this book that I received right after she died. I highly recommend it and her Facebook support group page for those that have lost their beautiful moms.