If You Were Here

by Alice Peterson

When her daughter Beth dies suddenly, Peggy Andrews is left to pick up the pieces and take care of her granddaughter Flo. But sorting through Beth’s things reveals a secret never Beth was sick, with the same genetic condition that claimed her father’s life, and now Peggy must decide whether to keep the secret or risk destroying her granddaughter’s world.   Five years later, Flo is engaged and moving to New York with her fiancé. Peggy never told her what she discovered, but with Flo looking towards her future, Peggy realises it’s time to come clean and reveal that her granddaughter’s life might also be at risk.   As Flo struggles to decide her own path, she is faced with the same life-altering questions her mother asked herself years if a test could decide your future, would you take it?

Genres: Fiction

340 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 2, 2019

About the author

At the age of eighteen Alice had been awarded a tennis scholarship to America when she experienced pain in her right hand. It was rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and she hasn’t picked up a tennis racket since, a sadness that shall always be with her. The theme of disability features in her fiction, but there is nothing gloomy about Alice or her work. Rather this gives her fiction the added dimension of true poignancy.

Reviews

[Ivana - Diary of Difference · Rating 4 out of 5]

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(This image has been taken from Alice Peterson's Website)

DO NOT – I repeat – DO NOT read “If You Were Here” in public. People will ask you why you’re crying and you won’t know what to say.



“If You Were Here” by Alice Peterson is an emotional story about Huntington’s Disease, a disease that affects your brain & movements and it gets worse as it progresses, without any cure for it yet.

Peggy has lost her husband to this disease, and now her daughter as well. But what she needs to do now is tell her granddaughter Flo that the disease is hereditary and she might be at risk.

Flo is about to get married and move to the US, but the news change everything. How do you even deal with such news, right? How do you process it? Through Flo’s character, you can clearly see her confusion and struggle to accept the fact – something that is so common for a human to do. Her fiance is not ready for the risk and will probably never will. The only support Flo has is her roommate James, his sister and her grandma Peggy. Flo needs to make the hardest decision of her life: does she take the test or not? Is she at risk of getting the disease too? What if she is tested negative? But, what if she is tested positive? Or would she just rather not know and live every day experiencing as much as she can? With her mother’s diaries helping her on this journey, she finds hope and strength she never knew she had before.

I loved Flo’s character. Despite the whole world turning upside down, she picked herself up and was always thinking on the positive side. Sure, there were ups and downs, but damn, that persistence was incredible.

”If You Were Here” is such a sad, but positive and powerful story about what we can do with our lives, and how we should live every day of our lives like it’s our last. Because – that is the truth: you don’t know whether you’ll wake up in the morning. You don’t know whether you’ll be going through troubles until it happens. You don’t have a map of your life, and that’s completely okay. Try to achieve as much as you can today, because you never know what tomorrow may bring.
Please pick this book up. It’s powerful, it’s incredible, it’s sad and it’s motivational. But above everything else, this book is bloody real!

Thank you to the teams at Netgalley and Simon & Schuster UK for providing me with an ARC copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.

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[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding out in your 20's that you could be genetically predisposed to Huntington's is a devastating situation to be in, finding out that the people you love have kept this from you is unthinkable - this happened to Flo and led her on a journey of discovery; about her grandparents, her mother, her fiance and friends but most of all about herself.

Told from three perspectives, Flo herself, her grandmother Peggy and through reading the diaries of her dead mother Beth, If You Were Here is a moving account of a young woman faced with the possibility that her body is a ticking time bomb. Google searches tell Flo that she can take a test to find out whether she will develop Huntington's the dilemma is should she? - is it worse to fear becoming ill or to know for a fact that you will?

The writing is beautiful, the story is told with compassion, sensitivity and a sprinkling of humour. I have nothing but thanks and deep respect for this author who transported me slap bang into the lives of these wonderfully drawn characters. The sensitive handling of this story and the obvious research which went into this book utterly blew me away.

A book which I read in two sittings, which took me on the whole gauntlet of emotions and one I will be recommending far and wide - unreserved 5 stars

Many thanks to NetGalley and publisher Simon & Schuster UK for the ARC of this book and allowing me to submit my honest unbiased review.

[Justkeepreading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note to everyone DO NOT read this on the bus. 🙈🙈. People will look at you extremely weirdly as you are reading with tears pouring down your face and you will just look very weird. 🙈🙈.

Onto a series note thou. In this book we meet the lovely Peggy who has certainly been through the ringer in her life. Her husband whom she loving was the carer for sadly passed away from Huntington’s. If that wasn’t bad enough her husband unwittingly passed the genetic condition onto their daughter Beth. Who also died from it.

Peggy was left to look after Beth’s daughter Flo, whom Peggy had already been helping to raise.

Flo’s life is going great, she has just been proposed to by her long term boyfriend, she is set to move to America to be with him and to start their family and life together.

However Peggy has to decide whether now is the right time to tell Flo that she is at risk of the same genetic condition that claimed her grandfathers and mothers lives.

Peggy has been trying to find the right time to tell Flo for many years now, and has never found the right time. But she knows that she really does need to tell Flo now, so that they can know what the future may potentially entail.

Flo’s world is shattered when she finds out that her grandmother and mother have kept this a secret for so long. Flo is angry at her grandmother and Marches away from her. Not wanting to talk to her. To make things worse when Flo tells her fiancé. He sadly decides that he cannot continue the engagement and breaks things off. Some people are not cut out to be carer’s For people and even thou it’s hard it’s always best for them to tell you from the start. It is something we have to learn to except and not blame them for it.

Flo’s world is rocked. Then her grandmother tells her that there is a test that she can take to find out if she has the genetic condition. Put into a position where a test could predict the future. Flo is faced with the decision of if she should take the test and find out or not. To help things her grandmother gives Flo her mothers diaries so that she can have a glimpse into what the future could entail.

No matter what Flo decides. She will need to have hope, faith, courage, strength and a network of people around her who will always stand by her, support her and care for her and not run away when the going gets tough.

Alice Peterson you have done it again. Just when I think that you can’t get better than you’re last book. You go and prove me wrong. There has been so much time and research that has gone into this book and you can really tell. Alice writes with such warmth and love. You really want the best for all these characters in this amazing book. I would really love another book in this series as I would love to know where the journey takes these characters. Be warned thou. If you are anything like me, an emotional person then you will need a bucket full of tissues to get you through this beautiful book. Which has been written with lots of love, care, understanding and compassion. I simply loved this book and highly recommend it to all.

[Rachel Gilbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just wow, I knew Alice Peterson was a fabulous writer, but this may just be my new favourite book from her, although A Song For Tomorrow is still one of my favourites.

This is certainly a thought provoking and emotional book - there were tears pricking my eyes at various points of this. If I was in Flo's situation I honestly don't know what I would do.

It's a fascinating look a one specific genetic condition, that doesn't have huge amounts of awareness, and raises all manner of questions. I think this would definitely be a great book club read.

We take in three generations of the Andrew's family, Granny Peggy and grand daughter, Flo, and we learn about Beth's life through her diaries,.

The diaries are in some respects the best bit of the book, you get a first hand look into what life as a person with the condition is like, and we also see how it affected her father.

But then again seeing the range of thoughts and emotions of Flo as she comes to terms with the information she has never been given before is also amazing, as is seeing how she reacts. The final section of the book I had a massive lump in my throat the whole time - it is just that well written.

And granny Peg, what a character she is, I loved seeing her world expand and her friendship with her new neighbour was a lovely one to see develop.

There is so much packed into this amazing story, I read the majority of it in a long stint in the garden, not overly noticing that it was getting cooler around me. It is gripping, it makes you think, it makes you feel - its just a complete story that is wonderful.

Thank you to Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for this copy which I have reviewed honestly and voluntarily,

[Agi · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If You Were Here", another life - affirming story by Alice Peterson, introduces us to three generations of women. Peggy lost her husband to Huntington's Disease, after years of caring for him and watching him deteriorate, both mentally and physically. Her daughter Beth, who we hear from through her diary entries after learning that she's dead, following a road accident 5 years ago, was aware that her chances of inheriting the disease was fifty - fifty and who has done the test but kept it in secret, and who has been left in turmoil, not being able to decide if/when to tell about it her own daughter. And Flo, twenty seven years old, loving her life, setting to move to America following her new fiancé there. However, her life is shattered after discovering that her granddad and mother had Huntington's Disease, and what consequences could this information have for her: she could also be a carrier and must decide whether to take the test telling her her fate. Flo is about to learn, not only about her family, but who her real friends are and, most importantly, about herself and her limits.

Let me tell you right at the beginning - it was a beautiful, realistic story that had me hooked from the first page - I couldn't put it down, to be honest, and was cursing life getting in the way, as I didn't want to leave the characters' world for a single second, and you'll also not want to put the book away.

The story is told from three perspectives, from Flo, her grandmother Peggy and through Beth's diary entries, and I loved each of the voices, so strong and so distinctive. Alice Peterson's heroines are always inspiring, and Flo is not an exception. It was heart - breaking to see the battle the two women, Peggy and Beth, had to endure, wanting to protect their beloved Flo, never finding the right time to tell her the truth, filled with mixed feelings and emotions. They were all so brave and strong, had their ups and downs, made wrong decisions and they simply felt so down to earth realistic, as well as the background characters. Each of them experiences the disease in another way but all of them are affected, and the author gives us a wide and deep glimpse into it. The feelings and emotions jump out of the pages, you laugh with the characters and you cry with them, I've kept everything crossed for them all and simply lived their lives together with them. Great part of this book focuses on heartbreak and guilt of not telling the truth, but you never judge the characters for it, you simply start to understand them and their choices, as the author gives them their own point of view. I loved how much the characters in this book supported each other - boy, you need such a group of friends and family in your life even when life doesn't challenge you!

It was again a book that made me think, and there were many moments when I found myself wondering, but especially one scene made me so pensive, when the first research study led to the possibility of real HD treatments in December 2017. Flo and Beth, sobbing on the phone with joy, their friends sharing the news - it actually gave me goose bumps. For me it was such a normal day, I've probably haven't even apprehended the news, and for people like our characters, and for real people all over the world, it is life changing information, giving hope. Here I am, sitting and enjoying my good health with exception of few bumps perhaps, not appreciating it enough, and here they are, crying from joy. I've been constantly asking myself what would I do if I were in the characters' shoes, what decisions would I made, and I still am not sure. I was always thinking that I would like to know what future is going to bring me but now, after reading the book, I am really not certain. Actually, I am torn. Would I change the way I am if I knew I have some genetic disorder? Or would it make me back away from life? It really isn't an easy decision to make!


I totally loved the way the author has chosen to tell about all the pros and cons of being tested to find out if you have Huntington's. She isn't judging but she allows us a deep glance into all the possibilities, describing how many feelings and emotions are involved in it, how, in fact, hard and difficult decision it is. It so much depends on the person itself, while many live their lives without the need to know, there are others who simply must find out what fate has in store for them. Also, how much this decisions affects family and friends - written with so much understanding, gentleness and heart.

The writing is, as always, beautiful but not too sentimental, and I loved it. It is also full of humour and the way the author balances it with the more poignant moments is absolutely perfect. It's written with compassion and sensitivity, right from the heart and the amount of research that went into this book is clear, and I love the fact that Alice Peterson has again found a case to raise awareness of. She writes with such warmth and love, care and empathy and the novel, even though touching about serious issues, feels chatty and uplifting, even when she tells things how they really are, not sparing us any details about the facts and reality of HD.

"If You Were Here" was full of hope. It's this kind of novel that make you look at the world differently again, start to appreciate all the little things again. The telling is so rich and vivid, oozing in feelings and emotions of courage, faith and strength, also showing the great importance of having the right network of people around you to help you get through the most difficult times. I loved every single moment of it and will be highly recommending right and left!

Copy provided by the publisher in return for an honest review.

[Alba · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since discovering Alice Peterson a few years ago, I've fallen in love with every single book she has written. Her stories always make me cry but she always manages to make me feel better about life. I absolutely loved her last book, A Song for Tomorrow, so my expectations for this one were really high. But Alice Peterson did not disappoint at all, If You Were Here is a stunning story that stole my heart.

This story is about Flo who has lost both her mother and her grand-father but who doesn't know they both had Huntington's Disease, a hereditary disorder that results in the death of brain cells, and that her chances of also having it are 50 %. She is about to move to New York with her fiancé when her grand-mother finally finds the courage to tell her. As you can imagine this changes Flo's life completely and we follow her in her journey to come to terms with this new situation and to find herself again.

Flo was such a fascinating and interesting character, it was impossible not to root for her. I loved getting to know her and she really inspired me to value life more and to challenge myself. Although I really don't know what I would do in her shoes, it was a real pleasure to share this journey with her and learn more about Huntington's and how it affects people and their family and friends. I really cannot imagine how hard it must be to live with it but I do think that this book shows us a fair portrayal of it and I'm sure that it will raise awareness on this disease.

Flo was not the only special character in this story though. I had a great team hanging out with Flo's granny Peggy and thanks to her old diaries, with Flo's mum too. The friendship between Peggy and her neighbour was definitely a highlight of the story for me, such a touching relationship. And the rest of the characters were pretty great too.

If You Were Here is truly amazing, an unforgettable story that will pull at your heart-strings. Definitely one not to miss.

[Philippa Mckenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had been talked about so much in my online book club, TBConFB, that I just had to try it. I bought it in a large, well known 'orange' supermarket for the absolute bargain price of £2.99, so was already off to a great start!

The book itself is told through the perspectives of Granny Peg (who I absolutely loved to bits), her granddaughter Flo, and Flo's mum, Beth.

Granny Peg's husband, Tim, died of Huntingdon's Disease, which is a genetic disease that can be passed on through families and for which there is no known cure. Sadly, the disease was passed on to Beth, who also died, leaving Flo in the care of her grandmother. When Flo finds out that she too might have this dreadful disease, she has a real dilemma on her hands. Should she take the test and find out, or not take the test and go through life never knowing if or when the disease will strike. Supported by her friends, Maddie and James, Flo gradually works her way towards the answer.

This story is beautifully written. The author treats the subject matter with real respect and sensitivity, whilst managing to keep it real and at some times, funny. The ONLY reason why I do not give this the full 5 stars is because I felt it was a little rushed towards the end. But on the whole, I would heartily recommend it.

[Gemma · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was back in 2017 when I read Alice Peterson’s last novel A Song For Tomorrow, so I was more than a little excited when I heard about If You Were Here and saw that gorgeous cover! As soon as I read the blurb, I just knew that this was my type of book; you know that little feeling you get when you just know for certain a novel is made for you – all those little elements you love: life changing decisions, over coming adversity, family secrets (and knowing Alice Peterson, a splash of romance thrown in for good measure). It was these reasons why I just had to skip waiting for the paperback release and read digitally (I only do this if I really cannot wait for something, as I’m a physical book in hand girl at heart!).

If You Were Here is a story about three generations of women and how Huntington’s Disease affects them as individuals and a family. From a non-gene-carrier and caregiver, Peggy, who spent years watching her husband Tim suffer and deteriorate from this cruel disease – nursing him through to the very end. To her daughter Beth (who we hear from through her diaries following a road accident 5 years previous) who was living in secret with the disease. And Flo, who at twenty seven has not just found out about her granddad and mother having Huntington’s Disease, but discovering too that this means she could also be a carrier, and having to come to that difficult decision of deciding whether to take the test or not.

I enjoy a book that really makes me think, and puts me in that position of asking myself “What would I do if I were in these characters shoes? What decisions and choices would I of made?” If You Were Here is certainly that kind of novel. When it comes to knowing our fate (if we were able to) I have always been absolutely adamant that I wouldn’t want to know mine. With something like Huntington’s Disease though, there actively is that option to know. When presented to you like that it’s not as easy to make that decision, is it? For me, just thinking about knowing, or not knowing, brings me fear in very different ways – there’s a fear of the unknown hanging over you, but there’s fear of going ahead and knowing. I can honestly say after reading this novel I have so much respect for people and families in these positions. The women in this novel are incredibly brave and strong, as are those in the real world, and there were certainly times when I had a lump lodged in my throat, and eyes filling up.

Peterson beautifully brings together and tells all three of these women’s stories, giving us a glimpse into how Huntington’s Disease plays a part in their life. It’s brilliantly done in really making us understand how something hereditary like this affects a whole family – generation to generation. You can feel the emotion coming off the pages. From the uncertainly, anger and fear that Flo is going through, the constant putting off telling Flo that Beth kept on doing, to Peggy’s heart-break and guilt as that of a spectator. Right or wrongly, you understand why these characters have made the choices they have, said the things they have and realise there is actually no right or wrong in something like this. It took me a good few days to read this book, and by no means was that because I didn’t enjoy it; there are stories that need to be savoured and I felt that If You Were Here deserved to be one of them.

There is also a beautiful ‘will they won’t they’ love story running throughout this novel. I think Flo and housemate James’s relationship was actually my favourite out of everyone’s. I instantly fell for him and felt from the very start that he would play a crucial part in this story, and he did; he was that person for Flo to shout at, cry on, or laugh with, and I adored these tender moments. I wanted to shout at her to see what was under her nose, make her just see the way that I could vividly picture him looking at her and for him to just say something. What I could never do was predict what was around the corner in this novel, or how it was going to end. Happiness or sadness? Would Flo decide to take the test or not? All I know is that when I turned the last page I just wanted more of these wonderful characters and their story.

The work gone into researching this book is clear to see and is indeed going to help in raising awareness of Huntington’s Disease. Whilst there is much care, understanding, sensitivity and empathy from the author, there is no sugar coating the facts and the realities of this disease. If you are part or a book club, run a book club, this would make a perfect choice for the many discussions it can bring to a table.

I knew instantly when I read this quote that I wanted to share it towards the end of my review. It came very early on in the book but stayed with me throughout and says so much. Admitedly, it’s something I need to remember when I’m next having a meltdown over a bit of mess…

“These days, people strive for perfection, not realising all they really need is health and happiness. A spotless kitchen isn’t going to cut the mustard. A meal in a Michelin-starred restaurant won’t either. It’s the people sitting around your kitchen table who count.”

If You Were Here is a poignant, inspiring and thought-provoking story about the utter strength and courage we find within ourselves in times of uncertainty, appreciating what you have, and just living in the moment!

[Cassandra MADEUP BookBlog · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first read by this Author, it certainly won’t be my last though. The first thing I will say, is that I am glad I read this at home because for parts I was a blubbering mess. You’ve been warned. This is a beautiful, honest, heart wrenching story that will twist and turn your insides while you devour each page like a literature starved beast.

Seriously. Tissues, comfort food and endless cups of tea of hot chocolate at the ready, snuggle in with a thick jumper in front of an open fire, phone on Do Not Disturb, or as I like to call it “Ignore”, and get started...

The story is such an emotional one, it’s absolutely a book that everyone should read. It’s amazing, beautiful, terribly honest, perfectly realistic and just so... yeh.. ALL THE FEELS for this book. I have now read it twice and I cried just as much the second time, so the best of luck to you dear reader folk.

The Characters are perfectly human, and seeing how they dealt with the scenario and lot they have been handed in life was certainly an experience, enjoyable and heartbreaking by various turns. But a truly wonderfully written tale with so much honest emotion behind the words.

The characters Peggy and Flo are each trying to handle what they need to. Peggy lost her husband and daughter to a hereditary illness, and has to break the news to her granddaughter. But Flo is getting married, and her Fiance isn’t sure he wants to or CAN cope with the potential meaning for them. Does she want to know for sure? Would she rather not? Would you?

Before Reading this, I had never considered it. But this book pulls at so many emotions, and it really does make you stop and wonder what you would do in the situations that come up, what choices would you make? Would you choose differently?

The Author perfectly represents the confusion, the grief, the whirlwind of emotion when hearing such news. Nobody can truly know what they would do, but this book certainly has you searching your inner most soul for your own thoughts! A truly beautiful book that will stand the test of time, and I’ve no doubt will prevail.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a nurse myself, this is not an entirely new subject matter to me. Having come across similar scenarios in real life, I often find myself contemplating what I would do in such circumstances. The story explores the ripple effect of a life changing diagnosis, in that it can affect many people, not just the individual involved.
In this book we meet host of characters. The story unfolds through the voices of three generations of the same family. Peggy is an elderly woman who spent many years selflessly caring for her husband who had been diagnosed with Huntington's, a life limiting, progressive disease, until he passed away. Sadly, a few years later she also lost her only daughter Beth in a sudden and tragic accident. Beth was living her life knowing that she was also a gene positive carrier of the disease. Beth's story is told through her diary entries, spanning many years of her life. She was an inspirational and positive character and was dedicated to bringing up her daughter Florence as a single Mum. She lost the man she loved indirectly because of her diagnosis.
Florence has met the man of her dreams. She intends to move to America to start a new life with him and perhaps start a family in the future.
The crux of the story is Peggy's dilemma, as whether or not to tell Flo that she has a 50% chance of inheriting the disease. Flo is happy - but Peggy knows that the Flo deserves to know the truth. What would the repercussions be either way? How would she deal with the news?
Friendships also feature heavily in this book. And a will they/wont they theme running in the background which comes to a head towards the end of the story.
I won't say any more about the story at risk of adding spoilers but I will say that my favourite character was Ricky, Peggy's dreadlocked neighbour. He added such warmth and humour and broke down stereotypes. A lovely book, that will appeal to people of all age groups. 4.5 stars from me.

[Book-shelf Shelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Peggie is lovely Grandmother to Flo, who is getting ready to start a new life with her fiance in New York. Peggie need to tell Flo before she heads off for her new life, but Peggie is worried about the reaction Flo might have. Flo is excited to be leaving her job and starting a whole new life with Theo. She is going to miss her friends and granny... but is exited to be going to the Big Apple.
Alice Peterson has not written in a while but she has turned out a pure belter with this one. She has taken the subject of Huntingtons disease and shown the world what it is like to live with someone and watch helplessly as that person slowly deterates and the only thing you can do is care for them as they lose use of every mussel.
Alice also talks about the marathon, which is right up my street. She doesn't romanticise it, but true fully describes the training and hardcore mental and body walls you hit before even starting to run on the day. I loved every page if this book, it made me laugh and cry and i seriously could not recommend it enough

[Abi Whitehouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! I was expecting a lot from the story since the blurb reminded me of previous books such as “Me before you” and “One Day”.

This is a story written from three perspectives and that makes it so much more involved. The chapters are also short, which means you really feel like they are interlocking snapshots of the respective characters lives.

The medical side of it is done incredibly well and covers a really interesting period of time for Huntington’s. Going from when it had no true diagnostic test to the point where there is real hope of an effective treatment. I thought the counselling aspect was handled extremely sensitively and I think highlights what many people do go though.

Overall a truely lovely read, well written, well researched and well developed. I have already given my copy to my mum to read!

I received a copy of the book in exchange for a review, but my review above is honest and truthful!

[Nicola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first time I had read anything by this author and it certainly won’t be the last. From the first page, I was captured by the beautiful writing and how relatable the characters are.

It is told from three perspectives, initially through Flo and her grandmother Peggy and later on by Beth’s mother through her diary as she has recently passed away. Flo is about to move to New York with her fiancé Theo, but before she leaves Peggy feel she needs to tell her granddaughter a secret that she has been harboring for a number of years, that Flo could have the genetic condition HD.

This story is told with compassion and will really pull at your heartstrings. Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster of a story, highly recommended.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book. Told from two points of view: that of Flo, who is 27 and about to go to New York for a year, and her grandmother Peggy, who is close to 80. Peggy's husband and daughter had Huntington's Disease, and it's an even chance that Flo may have inherited it...

This is a character-based story, showing the importance of family life, of supportive friendships, and of unconditional love. It's somewhat educational about this genetic syndrome too, but so well done that it didn't feel at all intrusive.

I found it almost impossible to put down - this is one of the best books I have read in a long time. I would give it six stars if I could! Very highly recommended.

Longer review here: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...

[Odette Lattimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartfelt Storyline

What a truly amazing storyline. This is the first book I have read by this author and I am someone who has a chronic condition.

This is a heartfelt story about a chronic and life debilitating illness and a family who are destroyed by it. The characters are so believable, I adore Peggy and Flo. The story line is emotional and truly believable. As the story line unfolded, I could feel the lump in my throat growing until it just broke me inside.

This is a must read.

[Gail Atkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG Alice Peterson has done it again!! What an amazing story about a chronic and life debilitating illness. The characters are so believable. The story line is amazing. As the story line unfolds you feel you are being pulled into their lives. Every character feels so real.

[Amanda Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Peterson has written an unforgettable emotional rollercoaster of a book. A moving tale told with sensitivity without holding back on the heartbreak, the fear and ultimately the courage to deal with a devastating diagnosis.

[Coffee-crafts&books]

l loved reading this book ive never heard of this author before i got to read this,icould put it down it took me 5 days to read thats how much i really enjoyed it .
i will be definetely reading more from this author

[Claire Sinclair · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It meant even more as I had just ran the London marathon before I read it.

[Suzisue13 · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible book.
I would highly recommend this. The characters were so real, I felt I knew them and the story took me on the journey with them, the highs and the lows and the laughter and tears.... and I definitely shed some real ones.
One of my favourite books ever.

[Charlie Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an emotional read. HD is in my family (distantly) and it really brought it home to me the emotional side of diagnosis as well as the physical side. Well written and tear-jerking.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant story with characters you really care about. It really makes you think about what you'd do in a situation like that. Not only that but how it affects the people close to you.

[Karen Woodhouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very thought provoking. Made you wonder what you would do.

[Gita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the book and learned so much about Huntington’s disease.

[Georgina · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the start of 'If You Were Here', we are introduced to Peggy Andrews, who is struggling with a moral dilemma. Her husband died of Huntington's disease, a rare genetic disorder that has a 50/50 chance of being passed onto a child. Peggy was terrified at the thought that her daughter Beth may have the condition, and so, when the opportunity for genetic testing was offered, she begged her not to have the test, preferring to live in hope instead of fear.

Years later, Beth dies in a sudden accident, and after her death, Peggy finds a letter confirming her worst fear - Beth had secretly had the test, and been diagnosed with Huntington's. But she had told no one, least of all her own daughter Flo, who grew up blissfully unaware of her family's connection to Huntington's. In her mind, her grandpa died of 'some kind of Parkinson's', and her mother's death was a tragic accident, as Beth had hidden her own diagnosis and symptoms from her daughter.

Peggy is now faced with the awful reality of having to tell her granddaughter the truth about their family history, and even worse, the fact that she too may have inherited this disease, leaving Flo to face a heart-wrenching decision - should she follow in her mother's path, and also get tested for Huntington's?

I have to admit, 'If You Were Here' is exactly my kind of book. You know how everyone has that type of novel, where you can tell just from the tagline and a quick skim of the description that you'll love it? Yep, for me the description literally reads like an amalgamation of all of my favourite elements of a novel smushed into one. Family drama, moral conundrums, life altering decisions - what more could you want?

At the start of the novel, Peggy is debating whether to tell Flo about the potential for her to have the Huntington's gene, and while this section was interesting, I found the book really picked up once Peggy had told Flo, as the complexities of the choice facing Flo made for really heart-wrenching reading. If you'd have asked me before I'd read this book, I would have straight away said that of course I would take the test - surely being able to prepare is better? But in that sense this book was completely unbiased as to what the best option was, and Peterson put forward a really good case for both taking and not taking the test.

One of the real strengths of this book to me was the inclusion of multiples perspectives - chapters were written from the POV of Peggy, Flo, and later, diary entries written by Beth throughout her life. Beth's diary entries in particular were a great example of strong characterisation - her voice was so distinctive, and gave a real insight into the particular struggles of being raised by someone with a genetic condition which you fear you might also have. I also found it really interesting to read from the POV of a relative who did not have the condition and the heartbreak they experienced as a spectator (Peggy), and while some of her decisions/actions were difficult to understand, it did make my heart break for her to think how awful it must be, to have a condition tear such destruction throughout your entire family.

However, obviously the main character of the book in terms of plot is Flo, and the choice she has to face with regards to getting the test. I won't spoil whether she does or not, but I will say that her decision, and the path she takes to reach it, sparked a lot of conversation with family and friends, especially when a relative pointed out that a similar dilemma had also been faced by a family on Neighbours!

All in all, I was really impressed by 'If You Were Here' - it was a poignant, moving, and ultimately really life-affirming novel about the importance of living each day to the fullest and appreciating what you have while you have it. I'll end on one of my favourite quotes, that I feel really sums up the heart of this book:

'These days, people strive for perfection, not realising all they really need is health and happiness. A spotless kitchen isn't going to cut the mustard. A meal in a Michelin-starred restaurant won't either. It's the people sitting around your kitchen table who count.'


Disclaimer: I was provided with a copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This has not influenced this review, and all opinions are honest and my own.

[VNerdbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

🅿🆁🅴🅿🅰🆁🅴 🆈🅾🆄🆁🆂🅴🅻🅵 🅵🅾🆁 🅵🅴🅴🅻🅸🅽🅶🆂

When I say prepare yourself I am not joking, I was a mess reading this one!

This is a story about a lovely family, we have Granddad Tim, Granny Peggy, Mummy Beth, and Baby Flo.

Flo (Florence) is all grown up now, and she's had to grow up pretty fast, her mother died when she was relatively young, and she was brought up by her Granny, they have a really close bond, and they love each other fiercely.

Peggy's husband Tim died when Flo was young so she didn't really know him that well, she can only remember things like laughing at him when his legs would go all wobbly when he was playing golf.

Beth (Flo's mother) died in a tragic accident, and so Peggy is really all of the family Flo has, apart from her friends that she has had since school, one of which she lives with.

5 years later and Flo is in love with a wonderful man and is ready to say goodbye and pack her backs to go and live with him in New York, except Peggy hasn't told Flo everything.

While searching through her things, Peggy discovers that Beth had done the one thing she had asked her not to do, and that was to go and get tested.

You see, Tim had, and died from a genetic condition, and there was a 50/50 chance of Beth inheriting it from him, Peggy didn't want her to know, she wanted her to just go out and live her life, but Beth obviously found out the result behind her back and never told her.

Peggy has kept this secret from Flo, but because there is also a 50/50 chance of her having it too, Peggy is torn between telling her the truth, or leaving things as they are.

A very touching, poignant story that will pull at your heartstrings and probably play a tune on them too.

It is filled with love, friendships and What If's.

If a test could decide your future, would you take it?

**Many thanks to Simon and Schuster, Netgalley, and the Author for my copy of this book**

[Hazel Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

Few novels explore health as a genetic drama. 'If You Were Here' is a three generational story of the impact of possible genetic inheritance of HD on the grand-daughter Flo , mother Beth and grandfather's carer, his wife Peggy. The dilemma is whether the grand daughter should opt for the genetic test after the knowledge of her grandfather's difficult decline and her mother's death (by accident but with some possible contributing HD symptoms) and the likelihood Flo is a carrier. If so, should she keep this secret? Does she have an obligation to future partners and maybe the future children of that relationship? Is not knowing, maintaining hope?

The medical details are informative. And the sequence of genetic counselling. The minor male characters of the nurse neighbour Ricky and the flatmate James who encourage Flo to enter the charity marathon, are more decisive. All Peterson's characters are well meaning, but occasionally they anguish far too long . Not enough 'ordinary' life until the challenge of the marathon training.

It is difficult to deal with chronic health issues in real life , and many parents have regrets about what they have said or not said or if the timing was right, but the story needs an additional sub-plot of interest outside the HD. Not many friends are so endlessly patient with a friend where the changing drama is determined by her moods and the only action is her indecision or reclusiveness.

ON the other hand, this is an excellent fictional resource for students & health professionals to initiate discussion. Highly recommend it for reading list of health courses. And the issue of genetic testing makes it highly topical. Well researched with an impressive list of acknowledgements.

[Lainy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 400

Publisher - Simon & Schuster UK

Source - Netgalley

Blurb from Goodreads

‘I can toast to my future, but the thundercloud over my head, the threat of a storm, will follow me like a shadow wherever I go. The truth is, I have a potential bomb in my bag, and who knows when or where it will go off’

When her daughter Beth dies suddenly, Peggy Andrews is left to pick up the pieces and take care of her granddaughter Flo. But sorting through Beth’s things reveals a secret never told: Beth was sick, with the same genetic condition that claimed her father’s life, and now Peggy must decide whether to keep the secret or risk destroying her granddaughter’s world.

Five years later, Flo is engaged and ready to pack up her life and move to New York with her high-flying fiancé. Peggy never told Flo what she discovered, but with Flo looking towards her future, Peggy realises it’s time to come clean and reveal that her granddaughter’s life might also be at risk.

As Flo struggles to decide her own path, she is faced with the same life-altering questions her mother asked herself years before: If a test could decide your future, would you take it?


My Review

Told from three points of view, Peggy is the granny, Beth the mother and Flo the granddaughter. Peggy nursed her husband as he battled through Huntington's disease not telling her daughter. Now Beth and her husband are gone Peggy discovers Beth knew and Flo has a 50/50 chance of getting the condition. She never told Beth and now she has to battle with telling Flo and the consequences. The chapters alternate between Peggy and Flo, we hear from Beth in diary entries from a kid to up until she died.

This book is emotive and totally pulls at the heartstrings. In Peggy we see the role of the carer, the struggles she faced in the time with her husband, love, devotion and watching this condition take away a piece of the person in different ways. In Beth we see the kid watching her father become unwell and how it affected her growing up and then her own experiences. Flo is oblivious to everything, living with the man of her dreams and ready to uproute before everything comes crashing down.

I think with this book it is the dimensions to it all, living with the condition, living with someone knowing they have it, growing up with it but not knowing and how that is viewed through a youngsters eyes. The impact it has on relationships, both families and partners. And the personal battle, journey and emotions if you had a bombshell like this dropped on you, you may potentially have a life changing condition and you are helpless to do anything about it. Would you find out or live in ignorance? No matter what you choose you also cannot control how the people in your life will react and that was a huge eye opener, none of us know what is around the corner.

Books like this make me want to read up on the condition especially when treatments are mentioned and research. There is still so much work that needs done and in the last few years they have made some progress, it is a fascinating read both this story and the academic articles out there. I do enjoy a book that provokes an emotive response but also makes you want to go and look into the condition the book centres on. My first dance with this author, it won't be my last, 4/5 for me this time.

[Julie Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absorbing story this is. The characters feel so real and honest that I felt I was in their lives living with the horrendous generic condition of Huntingdon’s.

Peggy lost her husband to the disease after years of watching him deteriorate in the saddest of ways and then she had to bear the agony of seeing her daughter Beth decide whether to get tested. As it turns out Beth is positive and through many diary entries we discover the turmoil she endured deciding when to tell her own daughter Flo. Unfortunately Beth died in a tragic accident so the burden then fell on Peggy.

This story tells of the difficult emotional decisions around getting tested to find out if you have Huntingdon’s and the highs and lows that go hand in hand with this. Many live their lives without the need to know, while others yearn to find out their fate. What is certain is that it affects family members and friends.

Hope is the one thing that stood out for me in this tale and that each sufferer had someone close to lean on during the good and dark days. Another amazing book by the talented Alice Peterson who really does write from the heart.

My thanks to Net Galley for the digital ARC in exchange for my own opinion.

[Karen Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a poignant, beautiful, moving book! Apologies to the family that my day off did not result in a shiny house and lovely cooked dinner, as, having decided I would read the opening of this book over breakfast, I could not put this it down and had to read to the end.
Over the book, we meet Flo and her grandmother, Peg along with her mother, Beth, via her diary entries. You really do feel like you have entered the world of these women and they become personal friends.This book shares with you their strength as well as their frailties; you really root for them and feel every bit of their journey. Having recently watched the London marathon, I really felt that theme of finding strength in adversity and was completely invested in the events of the book. I also adored the characters of Ricky, James, Maddie and ... who am I kidding, I loved them all! This novel is character driven and the characters just ooze the kind of warmth that we all seek in our life; I laughed, I cried, I held my breath. I loved it.