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Girls and Sex
From the back cover: "The years of puberty and early womanhood are difficult, even frightening, for many girls. This is the time they need objective, factual information and sympathetic advice about their physical and emotional changes. Dr. Pomeroy superbly fills this important need."
174 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1970
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
not-interested
July 28, 2012From the 1991 edition, pgs. 50-51:
"Much as feminists may deplore it, appreciative whistles from strangers on the street or from passing truck drivers are trivial. The feminists argue that such behavior degrades women by making them sex objects, but this has been so through recorded history. But half-joking sexual advances from a girl friend's father may or may not be another matter. If he puts his arm around her from behind and presses on her breasts, or strokes her buttocks affectionately, or likes to put his arms around her, it may be a hardly concealed sexual advance, but since it's done in the presence of other people. it's not necessarily dangerous. If it's done when the two are alone, however, warning signals should, and probably will, flash in a girl's mind."
I've heard the book has a lot of good things to say as well, but an edition as recent as 1991 with a passage such as this is not worth my time.
"Much as feminists may deplore it, appreciative whistles from strangers on the street or from passing truck drivers are trivial. The feminists argue that such behavior degrades women by making them sex objects, but this has been so through recorded history. But half-joking sexual advances from a girl friend's father may or may not be another matter. If he puts his arm around her from behind and presses on her breasts, or strokes her buttocks affectionately, or likes to put his arms around her, it may be a hardly concealed sexual advance, but since it's done in the presence of other people. it's not necessarily dangerous. If it's done when the two are alone, however, warning signals should, and probably will, flash in a girl's mind."
I've heard the book has a lot of good things to say as well, but an edition as recent as 1991 with a passage such as this is not worth my time.
October 12, 2015
I found this book so offensive I could not finish it!!!!!! The author gives way to many opinions and not enough facts for a supposed "unbiased" book. He bashes feminism every few pages.
This book is supposed to be for young girls to learn about sex in a way that is not harmful to them but when he inserts his opinions on street harassment, saying "appreciative whistles from strangers on the street or from passing truck drivers are trivial" (50). This sentence is in regards to older men doing this to adolescent females. How can the author claim this book is for them when he literally trivializes their feelings of discomfort from inappropriate advances.
He goes on later in the book, "The advances of a girl friend's father, or the father of the baby you've been sitting with, are hard to anticipate . . . If something happens unexpectedly, it's right not to be awed by his greater age and authority and to simply reject his advance, . . . It's the girl who consciously or unconsciously invites advances from older men who may be in trouble. Sometimes it's the sheer pleasure of knowing she can attract an older man" (52).
At this point I had to stop reading this book. I could not handle anymore. I would never let anyone male or female read this book. I am never a fan of banning books, but this is definitely outdated. It was originally printed in 1969. I read the 3rd edition for the 90's. He even openly admits their is no statistics to back up his statements. This book should be challenged; challenged for inaccurate miss information that is harmful to people. This book may have been forward thinking in the 70's, now it is backwards.
Then what book do you turn to for an unbiased, educational, and inclusive book on sexuality for young adults:
S.E.X. by Heather Corrina, The All Need to Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.
This book is supposed to be for young girls to learn about sex in a way that is not harmful to them but when he inserts his opinions on street harassment, saying "appreciative whistles from strangers on the street or from passing truck drivers are trivial" (50). This sentence is in regards to older men doing this to adolescent females. How can the author claim this book is for them when he literally trivializes their feelings of discomfort from inappropriate advances.
He goes on later in the book, "The advances of a girl friend's father, or the father of the baby you've been sitting with, are hard to anticipate . . . If something happens unexpectedly, it's right not to be awed by his greater age and authority and to simply reject his advance, . . . It's the girl who consciously or unconsciously invites advances from older men who may be in trouble. Sometimes it's the sheer pleasure of knowing she can attract an older man" (52).
At this point I had to stop reading this book. I could not handle anymore. I would never let anyone male or female read this book. I am never a fan of banning books, but this is definitely outdated. It was originally printed in 1969. I read the 3rd edition for the 90's. He even openly admits their is no statistics to back up his statements. This book should be challenged; challenged for inaccurate miss information that is harmful to people. This book may have been forward thinking in the 70's, now it is backwards.
Then what book do you turn to for an unbiased, educational, and inclusive book on sexuality for young adults:
S.E.X. by Heather Corrina, The All Need to Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.
November 3, 2014
I was too embarrassed to read it when it was first given to me as a girl. My friends would all giggle laugh about parts of it but I mostly just tried to ignore it. So it's impossible for me to judge it's effectiveness. It wasn't until I was past puberty that I read it but event then only found a few parts relevant to me. However it was easy to read, and I remember finding some parts encouraging. However I also remembering feeling disappointed when I learned that the writer was a man. More mature now of course, but during that weird teenage phase it seemed weird to me.
December 22, 2011
Sex education being impossible for the adolescent boys of Chicago's Mission of Our Lady of Mercy, we had parochial high school girls brought in by bus. I read this in preparation for the new, mixed class. It worked. The boys matured immediately upon the inclusion of females.
December 10, 2021
I grabbed this book off the library shelves because a cursory glance through some of the pages was comical and amusingly outdated. Admittedly, the comedy was probably amplified by giggling about it with the friend who had joined me on my library adventure. (Sure, we’re both in our thirties and giggling about a sex book in the library is possibly a little immature. But I believe that growing up is optional!)
In short, I took Girls and Sex out and read it mostly ironically. And there was a lot that was indeed humorous through the lens of an adult who has been married for over fifteen years. Also as someone reading it in 2021, when it was originally “revised” in 1991. Original publication in 1969 with a second edition in 1981.
Let’s start with the negative. And in this case it’s REALLY negative. I granted a little leeway because it is 30 years out of date and the social world and dialogue surrounding sex has changed very much. However, some things were never ok, and can be VERY damaging when read by a vulnerable adolescent girl, which is this book’s target demographic. There are passages in here that border on victim blaming, talking about how a girl may purposefully or ignorantly frustrate a boy or man, making her somewhat responsible for what may follow. Also suggesting that if she is touched by a man she does not know in a theater to just “go to a different seat and report it to a manager if it persists.” Umm. No. Responses in such situations should be a lot more severe than that.
I was even more concerned by the sections that seemed to suggest that a 13 year old in a relationship with a 21 year old, or even a 35 year old man, were probably a bad idea, but could potentially be a positive experience. Nope. No way. No how. No 13 year old girl should be under the impression that any grown man trying to have a relationship with her is anything but a predator. No matter what the gender breakdown, a full grown adult should not be in a sexual relationship with a child.
This book also by and large ignored LGBTQ+ identities and relationships. It did eventually dedicate a chapter to them, and in that chapter, was actually fairly progressive and positive about homosexuality and bisexuality, if with a fair amount of outdated notions and language. It also touched on “transexuals” in a fairly short section. There was no negativity in the discussion of it. I will give that as a credit to the author for his age and the time the book was originally written.
I am giving it a grudging two stars despite the detrimental issues mentioned above. If only for the fact that it gives girls a lot of information in a positive way about their bodies. It explains that they should not be ashamed about their sexual behavior and that it is all the more an enjoyable part of life if you can remove feelings of guilt and shame. Something that was desperately needed 30 years ago, and even today as there is still a societal double standard regarding female “purity” and “slut” shaming. We’ve made progress, but we’ve got a ways to go.
Ultimately, there are much better resources that are much more updated. (That would also likely use the word “fondle” a lot less…)
In short, I took Girls and Sex out and read it mostly ironically. And there was a lot that was indeed humorous through the lens of an adult who has been married for over fifteen years. Also as someone reading it in 2021, when it was originally “revised” in 1991. Original publication in 1969 with a second edition in 1981.
Let’s start with the negative. And in this case it’s REALLY negative. I granted a little leeway because it is 30 years out of date and the social world and dialogue surrounding sex has changed very much. However, some things were never ok, and can be VERY damaging when read by a vulnerable adolescent girl, which is this book’s target demographic. There are passages in here that border on victim blaming, talking about how a girl may purposefully or ignorantly frustrate a boy or man, making her somewhat responsible for what may follow. Also suggesting that if she is touched by a man she does not know in a theater to just “go to a different seat and report it to a manager if it persists.” Umm. No. Responses in such situations should be a lot more severe than that.
I was even more concerned by the sections that seemed to suggest that a 13 year old in a relationship with a 21 year old, or even a 35 year old man, were probably a bad idea, but could potentially be a positive experience. Nope. No way. No how. No 13 year old girl should be under the impression that any grown man trying to have a relationship with her is anything but a predator. No matter what the gender breakdown, a full grown adult should not be in a sexual relationship with a child.
This book also by and large ignored LGBTQ+ identities and relationships. It did eventually dedicate a chapter to them, and in that chapter, was actually fairly progressive and positive about homosexuality and bisexuality, if with a fair amount of outdated notions and language. It also touched on “transexuals” in a fairly short section. There was no negativity in the discussion of it. I will give that as a credit to the author for his age and the time the book was originally written.
I am giving it a grudging two stars despite the detrimental issues mentioned above. If only for the fact that it gives girls a lot of information in a positive way about their bodies. It explains that they should not be ashamed about their sexual behavior and that it is all the more an enjoyable part of life if you can remove feelings of guilt and shame. Something that was desperately needed 30 years ago, and even today as there is still a societal double standard regarding female “purity” and “slut” shaming. We’ve made progress, but we’ve got a ways to go.
Ultimately, there are much better resources that are much more updated. (That would also likely use the word “fondle” a lot less…)
January 8, 2012
I understand that this is important for young girls as they slowly enter the world of puberty. Something like this would have been very helpful to me growing up. However, I don't agree with everything mentioned or explained in the book. But this should never be taken off library shelves just because someone doesn't like what it has to say.
December 28, 2018
I only read chapter 10 and it was quite impressive, considering it was written long time ago and even by man who hasn't been a girl at all. Some parts was ok and some parts should be changed? But I think it would have helped someone who really needed information back in 90s when there weren't enough sources to learn about this! But now, since there are a lot of good books, I would rather read those books!
September 19, 2024
I read the 1981 revised edition with the pink cover of the 1969 book. The three stars are for the useful, if somewhat clinical information. The missing stars are because the book is quite dated and in many ways we have evolved past even this very accepting approach to sexuality.
July 17, 2023
I don’t think this man has ever spoken to a woman
Read
July 19, 2018Radiolab asked listeners for their sex ed recommendations.
Viv, a Radiolab listener, says, "It was 1976, America's bicentennial, and I stumbled upon this book on the shelves of the children's (!) section of the Oak Park (IL) library at the age of 9. Parts of it are quite dated now, but at the time it was incredibly reassuring and remarkably sex-positive. It dispelled myths about masturbation and even said it was okay to do! For this girl, at that time, thinking I was a weirdo, it made everything OK in a way that the one awkward conversation my mom attempted definitely didn't (and neither did that "your body is changing" movie in 5th grade, sponsored by Modess feminine products...). Of course, later, my go-to was Our Bodies, Our Selves, but, again, that was like 10 years later. Girls and Sex was much more my speed, at the age of 9. Then of course I read the companion book, Boys and Sex, which was quite eye opening... and also very reassuring. "
Viv, a Radiolab listener, says, "It was 1976, America's bicentennial, and I stumbled upon this book on the shelves of the children's (!) section of the Oak Park (IL) library at the age of 9. Parts of it are quite dated now, but at the time it was incredibly reassuring and remarkably sex-positive. It dispelled myths about masturbation and even said it was okay to do! For this girl, at that time, thinking I was a weirdo, it made everything OK in a way that the one awkward conversation my mom attempted definitely didn't (and neither did that "your body is changing" movie in 5th grade, sponsored by Modess feminine products...). Of course, later, my go-to was Our Bodies, Our Selves, but, again, that was like 10 years later. Girls and Sex was much more my speed, at the age of 9. Then of course I read the companion book, Boys and Sex, which was quite eye opening... and also very reassuring. "
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews