Before I Was a Critic I Was a Human Being (7)

Essais Series #7

by Amy Fung

In that moment, I felt closer to whiteness than not. I was completely complicit and didn?t think twice about entering a space that could cover their walls with images of contemporary Indigenous perspectives, but exclude their physical bodies from entering and experiencing. In that moment, I felt like a real Canadian. Before I Was a Critic I Was a Human Being is the debut collection of nonfiction essays by Amy Fung. In it, Fung takes a closer examination at Canada's mythologies of multiculturalism, settler colonialism, and identity through the lens of a national art critic. Following the tangents of a foreign-born perspective and the complexities and complicities in participating in ongoing acts of colonial violence, the book as a whole takes the form of a very long land acknowledgement. Taken individually, each essay roots itself in the learning and unlearning process of a first generation settler immigrant as she unfurls each region's sense of place and identity Praise for Before I Was a Critic I Was a Human Being : ?The hours I've spent with this knowing and moving book about place and placelessness are among the most valuable of my reading life. Wow, thank you, Amy." —Eileen Myles "As an Indigenous/Haudenosaunee writer and reader, I recognize that Amy Fung's book does not try to convince us that she is a native rights ally but shows us with language how to mould the term ally into a verb." —Janet Rogers, author of Totem Poles and Railroads "In this compelling work, Amy Fung breathes life and relevance into criticality. This visitor's guide is integral reading." —Cecily Nicholson, author of Wayside Sang , winner of the Governor General's Literary Award for Poetry.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Art, Race, Canada, Audiobook, Memoir

200 pages, Paperback

First published May 7, 2019

Reviews

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title is what caught me when I was milling around wondering what to read.

I love Amy Fung's look into the ways that Canada has barely contended with its genocide, robbery, displacement and mistreatment of Indigenous peoples as well as minorities. She pulls no punches and describes the discrimination she's also faced as a Chinese Canadian growing up in Edmonton, Alberta and travelling around different parts of Canada working as an art critic.

I love the road-trippy vibe and feel of this memoir as well. It was a great perspective because you felt like you're right beside her and sometimes her mom on these trips from coast to coast, experiencing the food, watching her engage in art spaces that were/are/can be discriminatory towards people of colour. Her mom is incredibly insightful and wise and I loved all the times she's quoted her teachings to her. Amy writes about how she's been able to slide into various spaces that are predominantly white and male and talks about all the times she's encountered white people oblivious to their own ignorance and those who are completely complacent in their racism and don't want to be awoken to the fact that they're contributing to the fuckshit hardship that non-white people are experiencing in cities where most people of colour don't feel welcome or safe, cities like Montreal. Her language was direct and her perspective was critical, sometimes amusing and definitely unique.

I don't know a lot about Amy Fung, but the one thing I will say is that although she does describe hardships facing communities of colour in the various Canadian communities she's been to, especially Indigenous communities, she doesn't really delve too deep into the anti-black racism within her own Chinese Canadian community, so some of her words at times can kind of read self-righteous.

Speaking as a Black Torontonian, shit is crazy and it's wild to see someone from a poc community talk about the ways that they are discriminated against, without acknowledging the ways that their community profits and also discriminates. I mean, I know it's not a tit for tat. I know that reasonably speaking this ain't the Oppression Olympics, but with the state of things today in cities like Toronto and Vancouver and with stories in these major cities about how Chinese Canadian business owners have discriminated against customers who are not white or Chinese or how Chinese Canadian homeowners have squeezed people out of their rental housing markets in popular housing markets, like Chinatown, North York, Downtown Toronto and Markham/Scarborough - it's just a bit wild to not contend with these issues as well.

Anyway, overall. I do think her heart is in the right place, I love the layout of the book. I love the descriptions of places she's been. I love her deep dive into the fucked up governance of Canada. I love that she rips Stephen Harper a new asshole. I loved that she's encouraging new-immigrants to take up space. I love that she's engaging all Canadians to really learn their history and really think about the ways that we participate in the Canadian experience. I'd read it again, I'd recommend it to others.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

My original reaction to this book was quite averse. I couldn't get past the author's self-righteousness.
I thought the content was great & the critique was on point but so many paragraphs struck me as near-sighted, had an annoying "better-than-thou" tone, and were full of bitterness. I couldn't figure out who the audience of the book was. If it is people like me, who already know a lot of what's in the book, why not go deeper/why be so surfacey? If it's people like the Atlantic Canadians she accuses of being ignorant, then why didn't she take the insults out?

Well, duh, my POC friends pointed out: the audience is Canadian immigrants or children of immigrants, esp POC who are subsequently marginalized when they move to Canada, and whose relationship and affinity w/ Indigenous peoples is pretty minimal. To fit in, you are encouraged to assimilate to the dominant settler culture. Why? Why must it be so? It shouldn't be so. I'm not doing a good job of articulating our conversation; Amy Fung does it better but I see now that the anger is part of the point, as is the messiness that repelled me when I first read it.

[Eleanor · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting intersection of memoir and criticism - loved reading this!

[Lia Yuliana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Update 15/01/2023

You can find my reviews at An Ode to Fiction.| Subscribe to my Booktube channel


4/5 ⭐️


A series of essays by Canadian art critic Amy Fung about the history of Canadian colonialism through the perspective of the art world. Listening on audio is highly recommended.

[Leslie Wexler · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was drawn to the title, but after reading the book in a single sitting, these essays fall into the category of institutionally fashioned critical race aspirations. It offers only the slightest snapshots of Indigenous history through the personal history of a second-Gen immigrant who identifies as from Alberta -the second Gen narrative is explored in a coming-of-age through a status quo mid-Western, (sub)urban public education. This book attempts truth, but the kind of truth you might find mostly in a municipal archive (read: trying hard but still really stale). The author is an art critic, but that seems secondary to the cross-Canada mission by the end to get woke. This book misses entirely on reconciliation, and claims to be a full length meditation-cum-land-acknowledgement but with no substantial engagement with any concepts around “land,” indigenous or otherwise. It is more of a road trip through the passivity and acquiescence within Canadian racism and by the end offers the contemporary standard: Canadian race piety. It’s last suggestion is that Indigenous sovereignty can save the rest of us from capitalism. It is a product of its time. Fairly insipid: Consume with a healthy dose of salt.

[Clementine · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Confrontational, unflinching essays on the liminality of being an immigrant and settler on unceded and Treaty territory. Fung articulates her experience as a racialized woman who is, in ways subtle and overt, made to feel unwelcome in Canada while also benefiting from the legacy of colonialism which continues to marginalize Indigenous peoples. The complexity of identity is explored convincingly; the necessity of confronting complicity in the ongoing disenfranchisement of Indigenous people is made clear. Fung writes about the Canadian art landscape and its marginalization of Indigenous artists, the way "diversity" panders to the white gaze. There were moments where I found the writing a bit clunky, taking me out of the argument, but generally it was seamless. There are a lot of big, uncomfortable ideas packed into this slim volume, and all of them felt fully explored. This is a perspective that all people living in (formerly?) colonial states should consider.

[Yan Xin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very moving essay collection that discusses racism (specifically towards Indigenous people) in the Canadian art culture. I briefly wondered if the author has the authority to comment on this, but she has never claimed expertise, and has acknowledged her privilege and previous ignorance on the topic. Her gentle/humane writing has provided a space for me to reflect on my participation in the "mainstream" (aka very white) art culture.

[Luke Spooner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good. Always, nice reading a book that is so firmly Canadian, particularly one that is so critical of Canada and especially of some of our more 'progressive' circles (art, academia, etc.). Gave me a lot to think about.

[思莹]

a series of beautiful and introspective essays on the author’s confrontation of canada’s settler-roots as a chinese immigrant and an art critic. i’ll be honest a few of the essays were not as good as the others but overall still a really great read, especially if you’re canadian ig

[Suzanne F. · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars.

A short, but really beautiful read. It was nourishing to the soul.

[Jay Cowsill · Rating 1 out of 5]

We read this book because it was scheduled for a discussion group we sometimes attend. Having read it, we're not going to the discussion group. Having lived a relatively sheltered life, he author is attempting to project herself as a subject of oppression. Apparently, an authentic life is the life of a suffering victim. She winds up as what was once called a groupie--of those who may legitimately claim to have experienced some hard knocks. This book provides no evidence of insight into her own nature or the life she has lived. Do yourselves a favour and leave it on the shelf.

[earthshattering · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate what the author is trying to do and doing for the most part. She sheds light on Canada’s hypocritical and damaging treatment of Indigenous people. Unfortunately, in the process, she also paints a really ugly and depressing picture. There are no convincing mentions of Indigenous strength and vibrant culture. She chooses to talk about Indigenous prostitutes instead. I find it very disturbing when non-Indigenous authors paint such a disempowering picture of Indigenous people. It cries “Feel sorry for me! I am destitute! There is no hope!”

Other than that, she is pretty relatable, but the whole book is kind of a downer. Especially the part about all the suicides on the Edmonton bridge.

[Florence🏳️‍🌈 · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Hmmm very self-righteous, which the author has earned the right to be with what they’re talking about n all, except there’s a part in the introduction where a young Scottish boy calls the author a slur and the author doesn’t care because:
“I knew I was better than him - due to the fact I spoke English better than he did” or something to that effect.

That was the moment I knew the author was a first generation NORTH AMERICAN immigrant lmao. A British/Australian/New Zealand first generation immigrant would never be so pathetic and classist as those in *that* particular English speaking continent are about language. They would also be smart enough to know that Scots is it’s own language separate to English. Sigh. ANYWAY. Apart from that a completely average collection of essays shajsjjs

[Sukhpreet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just brilliant.

[COOKIEHEAD · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The great colonial project of the British Empire was just an addendum to how she was comprehending her world, whose farthest interiors and landscapes would never be touched by the rudimentary grasps of the English language's insufficient imagination to express beyond the primitive desire to possess all of its grammatical subjects.” (P. 37)

“I have never been so physically reminded of the cramped
quarters of Kowloon than when under the open skies
of Saskatchewan. Not in the glass skyline of downtown
Vancouver or the packed subway cars during Torontos
rush hour. But here: sitting on a rock in an empty tarm
field in the middle of Saskatchewan. Here I was aware of
the sensation of having zero personal space in which to
breathe. Being in its diametrical opposite, I could learn
to feel the other.” (P. 75)

“When I say Winnipeg is my favorite Canadian city, I’m not saying it's perfect. Not by a long shot. I am, however, stricken to my core by the city's countless contradictions and multiplicities. It's trying to be an honest place, and that's enough for me.” (P. 84)

“She could not understand why anyone would choose to live in Chinatown if they didn't have to. Why would anyone choose to live in a poor neighbourhood? she asked me once, confused, annoyed, and perhaps unaware of the historical arc from racial ghettoization to its inevitable collision with artistic ambitions, gentrification, and development potential.” (P. 97)

“I hear all sides of the housing crisis, and how it relates to foreign investment. I hear it almost always anecdotally. Intergenerational guilt and shame co-mingling with continual invisible entitlement rendering an impotent desire
to right to white all that has been passed. The task of holding class-based differences across race seemed impossible for the right and left to hold.” (P. 99)

“The process of learning what has happened, let alone
reconciling, feels far from complete. I can only speak for
myself as a first-generation settler who has spent most of
my life trying to assimilate into a colonial nation. This
process of shifting my world views away from the linear
and binary world of Eurocentricism has been more of a
letting go and a returning to thought patterns and language formations that I have suppressed long ago. From
simply trying to fit in as the new kid in what was always
a majority-white student body, to the structures of whiteness, including academia, corporate culture, and non-profit culture, I have always had to choose between naming myself within the silo of diversity or having the privilege of
s(l)iding into whiteness as default.” (P. 107)

“Diversity works only for whiteness, for those who are happy to benevolently oversee and control diversity in all its frivolous forms, but who will immediately enforce the power of their laws the moment difference seeks actual power.” (P. 112)

“Both require a certain sense of forgetting and belonging, and immigrants eventually become settlers under colonial mentality, but I want to imagine what would happen if every first-, second-, and third-generation Canadian stopped perpetuating colonial agendas, and instead supported Indigenous sovereignty by respectfully learning and obeying the original laws and customs on our adopted homelands. Specifically, I want to imagine the ever-displaced diasporas will stop pledging allegiance to a
falling empire whose raiding history likely drove us away
from our homelands in one way or another.” (P. 175)

[Scott Neigh]

Essays that use memoir in a mode the author describes as "fictionalized nonfiction" (20) to explore migration, (non)belonging, becoming, and the hypocrisies, indignities, and violence of white-supremacist, colonial, multi-cultural Canada. The author was born in Kowloon, Hong Kong, grew up in Edmonton, has lived in and travelled to many parts of Canada, and for many years worked as an art critic; the book draws on all parts of that journey. An impulse buy, and a quick and easy read in some ways, but it packs a bit of a punch too. It made me realize how rarely I've encountered non-scholarly Canadian nonfiction dealing with these themes – I've encountered them plenty in conversation with people I know in real life, in lots of Canadian scholarly writing, in fiction, and in a range of forms from other countries, but not so often in literary nonfiction from this country. I really appreciated its honest portrayal of the author's learning journey, particularly around Indigenous peoples and struggles, but more generally too, and her wrestling with the questions of what it means to be on this land. I also appreciated her ability to name her own complicity in a way that felt more genuine and staying-with-the-trouble-ish than the more commonly seen use of such naming as an escape hatch back to innocence. The writing is good, quiet, low-key, and unflinching, though I think to be honest what I was more taken by was a certain kind of rhythm in the feel of the book, in its patterns of the heaviness of the world and the ordinariness of life and haunting and joy and melancholy. Quite good.

[Margaryta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think any book published this year will manage to top this one, for I haven't talked about a book as much as I did about Fung's debut for a long time. In some ways, "Before I Was a Critic I Was a Human Being" is the first time I saw someone put some of the things I experienced as an immigrant into words, from the complex relationship with what it means to be "Canadian" to taking a long time to clue in and learn about the ongoing genocide of Indigenous peoples. Fung's book is uncomfortable and this is exactly what makes it such a necessary read. I hope someone has the common sense to teach this book in a university course, as this would've perfectly tied in with the "Art in Canada" course I took during my undergrad. For those who might be expecting a conventional art criticism book, that's not what this is. Fung takes the title quite literally and uses it as a prompt for contextualizing the way we think about art and culture more generally. "Before I Was a Critic I Was a Human Being" felt like a de-glamorizing, a stripping away of layers to reveal the rotting core that all of us settlers continue refusing to really address. It was a reminder of the things I continue to do and not do and I am most thankful to Fung for "dipping my face in the mud" that way, as the saying goes.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, not just because Amy and I share names / cultures, but because of her genuine writing. I only read reviews after finishing a book and knew I'd see the typical accusations of "woke" in plenty.

The genuine part comes from the lack of self-flagellation perpetuated in many non-Indigenous works where the goal is to, as Amy writes, perform a "big congratulatory self-pat on the back." Thereby continuing the latest colonial project which is to perform reconciliation but only for the settler-self, and using this to justify ongoing Indigenous invisibility.

I also appreciate the discussion of anti-racist education ironically taught by white settlers who end up regurgitating colonial practices. Again, illustrating the common theme of self-congratulations found in social justice spaces.

Amy is not Indigenous nor does she pretend to be. I don't expect her to write about Indigenous knowledge in a performative or embodied way. I did not come into the work expecting her to be an expert, either. I think her language might come across as self-righteous to those unfamiliar with institution-adjacent writing.

It was really honest for who she was and what she could do, being the position she is in.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir of learning and unlearning.

“This is an art history I am only learning decades later, and this knowledge still does not yet exist in the shape of textbooks or archives.”

“So far, the default for both had been whiteness, or settlers of British/European heritage, but as the majority of the artists, for the first time, were neither, did they feel there were layers of missing knowledge between them and the dominant culture, who know little to nothing about Other histories, cultures, and experiences? With this invisible barrier in place, I wanted to know if their work felt visible here, in this context, and what were their strategies and coping mechanisms?”

“To be racialized is to be whatever’s conveniently supporting the dominant narrative.”

“…the structures of power have been shielding and protecting the settler-colonial dominance of entitled whiteness, what will happen in the future when whiteness is no longer the majority?”

[Genevieve Michaels]

This is an honest, direct account of the author’s experiences in what we call “Canada” - as a writer, as an arts professional, as an immigrant and person of colour, and as a human.

She’s spent time in many different parts of Canada, and for me, her shared experiences were a valuable and relatable account of how colonialism and systemic racism are woven into the Canadian art world.

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book - lovely to read - like a roadtrip across 'canadiana' that talks about experiences and thoughts to do with white privilege and settler blindness in a compassionate and understandable tone.

[amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brings together so many things I care about (and feel frustrated by), among them the many layers of displacement in diasporic identity.

(lol apparently all of my reviews start with "brings together ___")

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

i've never felt more seen. beyond the critique of canada's white settler colonial state i truly really deeply appreciate the nuanced capturing of canadian regionalism and how deeply jarring and isolating it is navigating that as a racialised woman from the praries specifically

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deep thoughts made easy to read, not easy to sit with.

[Chantel Nygaard · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were a few parts that I didn’t find added much to the text but overall, a beautifully articulated, fiercely aware and honest read. I know I will refer back to this book time and time again.

[Chiyi Tam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. Essential reading. Floored me.

[Anthony Chan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i will sing praises for this book til the end of my days. a vital read!

[Jessica Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book more stars. Amazing read. Forced me to self-examine and explained me to myself all at the same time.

[Michael Kwan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful, moving, saying the things that need to be said about the hypocrisy of Canadian race relations and our relationship with Indigenous peoples. No punches pulled.

[Fong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, reflective writing from a recovered art critic. Uncluttered, clear, crisp views from a prairie vantage point.