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Beautiful Chaos
SILAS
My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.
I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent...feel what it's like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now...
COREY
I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion...at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share--cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.
I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent...feel what it's like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now...
COREY
I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion...at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share--cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
422 pages, Paperback
First published October 9, 2018
801 people are currently reading
1915 people want to read
About the author
Riley Hart
114 books7,131 followersRiley Hart is the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. She's a hopeless romantic. A lover of sexy stories, passionate men, and writing about all the trouble they can get into together. If she's not writing, you'll probably find her reading.
Riley lives in California with her awesome family, who she is thankful for everyday.
Riley lives in California with her awesome family, who she is thankful for everyday.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 357 reviews
October 25, 2018
~4.5~
These authors' prior collaborations were a miss for me, but Hart and McCormack hit it out of the park with this story.
Both MCs have suffered: Corey at the hands of an abusive ex, Silas when he escaped a horrific, unfathomable situation. Both are damaged. Silas has agoraphobia and hasn't left his house in years. Corey still self-harms and thinks he deserves pain; he pays men for rough sex.
Silas and Corey tape notes to their windows. They text, then video chat. The virtual friendship becomes physical and all too real. The men lose themselves in one another, but at what cost?
The emotions in this book are raw and real. The relationship between the men is the sole focus of the story.
The sex is out of this world hot. The MCs learn that they can play rough, but that not all pain is created equal.
The few secondary characters, including the Potter cats, are well sketched, and the ending is a realistic, hard-earned HEA.
I was utterly moved by this story. Beautiful chaos, indeed.
These authors' prior collaborations were a miss for me, but Hart and McCormack hit it out of the park with this story.
Both MCs have suffered: Corey at the hands of an abusive ex, Silas when he escaped a horrific, unfathomable situation. Both are damaged. Silas has agoraphobia and hasn't left his house in years. Corey still self-harms and thinks he deserves pain; he pays men for rough sex.
Silas and Corey tape notes to their windows. They text, then video chat. The virtual friendship becomes physical and all too real. The men lose themselves in one another, but at what cost?
The emotions in this book are raw and real. The relationship between the men is the sole focus of the story.
The sex is out of this world hot. The MCs learn that they can play rough, but that not all pain is created equal.
The few secondary characters, including the Potter cats, are well sketched, and the ending is a realistic, hard-earned HEA.
I was utterly moved by this story. Beautiful chaos, indeed.
October 21, 2018
I love hurt/comfort, but sometimes the hurt overwhelms me when it’s two characters that are hurt instead of one.
And that was the case here. I loved how Silas and Corey both supported and understood each other, but with both sets of issues (and they both had BIG issues), I was kind of drowning.
Yes, it has a good solid HEA. And yes, there was all kinds of light at the ends of the tunnel. But it was still a bit of a sad book. Or perhaps it just made me sad.
I should stick to hurt/comfort where one has big issues and the other one has either small issues or no issues. That balances it out more for me.
But I do think lots of people will love this book. I just wasn’t in the mood for it.
And that was the case here. I loved how Silas and Corey both supported and understood each other, but with both sets of issues (and they both had BIG issues), I was kind of drowning.
Yes, it has a good solid HEA. And yes, there was all kinds of light at the ends of the tunnel. But it was still a bit of a sad book. Or perhaps it just made me sad.
I should stick to hurt/comfort where one has big issues and the other one has either small issues or no issues. That balances it out more for me.
But I do think lots of people will love this book. I just wasn’t in the mood for it.
August 9, 2019
I wanted to read this because I like the color scheme on the cover. I also really like the title. The blurb intrigued me since I'm a sucker for characters overcoming mental illness to find an HEA.
I gave it more than a chance, but I'm throwing in the towel at 64%. To be honest, I can't believe I slogged through this much of it. I was outside looking in the whole time. I never connected with either character. There is so much "telling" as in he did this or that, I did the other. I also had a big problem believing Silas' kink. It made no sense to me in light of who he was. I kept waiting for it to be explained but I got nothing. It was so jarring. And at 64% I am still totally clueless about his friend Dyna. How, when and why did their relationship develop?
I was a little more partial to Corey, but by 60% I'd pretty much had it with him too. It's not a good thing when all you want to do is give the character a good kick in the ass. Especially if that character is portrayed as mentally ill and abused. But, yeah, I'd had it with him. He couldn't stand up for himself in the most basic way. Maybe if the ending of his previous relationship had been detailed it might have helped. But I'm not even sure. All I saw was a total doormat who let himself be completely controlled by the mentally ill neighbor next door.
The fact they walked on eggshells around each other still at 64% told me there was little hope their dynamics were going to change.
It was my intention to slog through this story all the way to the end. But as I tend to do when I'm not liking a story, I went to read some reviews to see if I could get a feel for what was ahead. I read a review that talked about a long separation. There's little I hate more than long separations in a romance story. That was pretty much the last straw and I'm out. Now you know why.
I gave it more than a chance, but I'm throwing in the towel at 64%. To be honest, I can't believe I slogged through this much of it. I was outside looking in the whole time. I never connected with either character. There is so much "telling" as in he did this or that, I did the other. I also had a big problem believing Silas' kink. It made no sense to me in light of who he was. I kept waiting for it to be explained but I got nothing. It was so jarring. And at 64% I am still totally clueless about his friend Dyna. How, when and why did their relationship develop?
I was a little more partial to Corey, but by 60% I'd pretty much had it with him too. It's not a good thing when all you want to do is give the character a good kick in the ass. Especially if that character is portrayed as mentally ill and abused. But, yeah, I'd had it with him. He couldn't stand up for himself in the most basic way. Maybe if the ending of his previous relationship had been detailed it might have helped. But I'm not even sure. All I saw was a total doormat who let himself be completely controlled by the mentally ill neighbor next door.
The fact they walked on eggshells around each other still at 64% told me there was little hope their dynamics were going to change.
It was my intention to slog through this story all the way to the end. But as I tend to do when I'm not liking a story, I went to read some reviews to see if I could get a feel for what was ahead. I read a review that talked about a long separation. There's little I hate more than long separations in a romance story. That was pretty much the last straw and I'm out. Now you know why.
October 21, 2018
There are so many beautiful elements to this book - hurt, trauma, compassion and love. Silas suffered an extreme trauma and became agoraphobic- his life lived via the internet and watching through a window. Deeply damaged, his life in a constant loop. His neighbor Corey makes connection through windows one evening and an extremely slow and tentative relationship begins. Corey himself is fearful of others after suffering at the hands of an ex partner. Adding to his bipolar/ anxiety & self harm, poor Corey is a mess. This title Beautiful Chaos really rings true. I loved this book... there is hope & love for everyone ❤️
March 25, 2023
please be aware of the trigger warnings!
Riley Hart and Devon McCormack did an insanely good job of portraying these heavy topics so wonderfully.
I was a little afraid that the book wouldn't satisfy me. I don't know how I could have had such a thought with these authors.
The writing is phenomenal, not in the sense of extraordinary or anything, but just so you can read how much thinking and emotion the authors put into it.
At first it was a little difficult to connect with Corey and Silas. But that's just the nature of their brokenness. The communication was difficult and dragged on a bit, but anything else would have been futile, only this way the plot is realistic.
The finish ... I understand that this must be the logical course of the plot ... somehow. But at the same time I am a little angry. It almost reads like a lecture that only therapy can cure mental disorders. Gaaaah that was just too much. Especially since I thought Corey's therapist sucked. This therapist is a lousy piece of shit. How can someone in this profession be so insensitive, she must see that she does not help Corey but makes his happiness bad every time. I am soooo angry.
I nodded, ready for the conversation to be over. She’d taken something I was excited to talk about and turned it into something ugly. 😡😡😡
Okay, now how do I get from that back to the good stuff in the book? ... Sex, yes sex is always good 😊
Kinky, hot and slightly dirty. Since both are also not quite normal in their sexual appetites, wrong word, ... exceptional. They both like it rough and verbal humiliation is the spice in the whole thing.
It felt different with Silas, which was both scary and comforting. I wanted to be tight for him. I wanted to be a good hole for him. I wanted him to be glad he’d chosen to use me. 👀
Sometimes their communication is just funny and gives you a ton of hope for them.
“No, stay,” I spit out quickly.
“I’ll pop a Xanax, and we can have some tea and honey.”
“Well, I already took an Ativan, so I guess I’m way ahead of you.” 💗
But I definitely cried a lot, my tummy was in knots and the tears ran steadily.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you what you need. I’ve been in this house for years. That won’t change.” 😪🤧
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve you…that I don’t deserve any of the good things I have. There’s this voice in my head all the time telling me I’m not worthy, that I’m a waste, but you…you’re the only thing that helps quiet it.” 🥺😢
Riley Hart and Devon McCormack did an insanely good job of portraying these heavy topics so wonderfully.
I was a little afraid that the book wouldn't satisfy me. I don't know how I could have had such a thought with these authors.
The writing is phenomenal, not in the sense of extraordinary or anything, but just so you can read how much thinking and emotion the authors put into it.
At first it was a little difficult to connect with Corey and Silas. But that's just the nature of their brokenness. The communication was difficult and dragged on a bit, but anything else would have been futile, only this way the plot is realistic.
The finish ... I understand that this must be the logical course of the plot ... somehow. But at the same time I am a little angry. It almost reads like a lecture that only therapy can cure mental disorders. Gaaaah that was just too much. Especially since I thought Corey's therapist sucked. This therapist is a lousy piece of shit. How can someone in this profession be so insensitive, she must see that she does not help Corey but makes his happiness bad every time. I am soooo angry.
I nodded, ready for the conversation to be over. She’d taken something I was excited to talk about and turned it into something ugly. 😡😡😡
Okay, now how do I get from that back to the good stuff in the book? ... Sex, yes sex is always good 😊
Kinky, hot and slightly dirty. Since both are also not quite normal in their sexual appetites, wrong word, ... exceptional. They both like it rough and verbal humiliation is the spice in the whole thing.
It felt different with Silas, which was both scary and comforting. I wanted to be tight for him. I wanted to be a good hole for him. I wanted him to be glad he’d chosen to use me. 👀
Sometimes their communication is just funny and gives you a ton of hope for them.
“No, stay,” I spit out quickly.
“I’ll pop a Xanax, and we can have some tea and honey.”
“Well, I already took an Ativan, so I guess I’m way ahead of you.” 💗
But I definitely cried a lot, my tummy was in knots and the tears ran steadily.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you what you need. I’ve been in this house for years. That won’t change.” 😪🤧
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve you…that I don’t deserve any of the good things I have. There’s this voice in my head all the time telling me I’m not worthy, that I’m a waste, but you…you’re the only thing that helps quiet it.” 🥺😢
January 7, 2019
✪✪✪ 1/2
I will never be a fan of toxic relationships, but I will always be a fan of toxic changing to healthy.
💭Pre-reading thoughts:
A new year, more gay shit, my heart is happy.
I will never be a fan of toxic relationships, but I will always be a fan of toxic changing to healthy.
“But loving you isn’t going to make me magically better. And I can’t be part of your destruction. I love you too much for that…and I want you so much, but I don’t want to lose myself either. Losing myself means losing you.”
💭Pre-reading thoughts:
A new year, more gay shit, my heart is happy.
November 13, 2018
Ooooow that was a cute one ❤️ always love the troubled ones a little bit more
October 23, 2018
Mmm, difícil. Ambos personajes principales parten de un estado mental complicado debido a experiencias traumáticas, se definen a sí mismo como "rotos" y eso hace que una relación sentimental sana sea difícil. Es un libro con partes muy tristes, con luces a final del túnel, pero con un ambiente triste. Debido a cómo se encuentran los protagonistas, sus problemas a la hora de afrontar la vida, la carga emocional es muy grande, sin embargo yo no he conseguido sentirme totalmente implicada en su relación y en ellos, algo más con Corey, pero con Silas a veces me ha resultado difícil empatizar y en algún momento me he llegado a aburrir.
Está bien porque era un KU, pero no es para todo el mundo.
Está bien porque era un KU, pero no es para todo el mundo.
October 28, 2018
The writing is amazing (my favorite out of all the ones the duo have written), the character are written really well and the storytelling is believable. But the book is just too depressing. I'm at 62% and there's been nothing but an layer of sadness! So i'm stopping there for now.
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Find me on: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Blog
September 3, 2019
Eh... weird and weirder. Doesn't keep my attn. DNF @ 75%. I really tried.
September 30, 2022
3 stars
For a good part of the book I was hooked, these two troubled characters sought each other out, but were relying to much on the other to help them get better. I am glad they wanted to get better for themselves and not the other person.
I did get kinda bored towards the end, it just felt like the spark from the beginning was gone hah soo I skimmed the last 15%-20%… 😬
Moral of the story learn to love yourself flaws and all. and to make sure you get better for yourself first and foremost, not for someone else.
For a good part of the book I was hooked, these two troubled characters sought each other out, but were relying to much on the other to help them get better. I am glad they wanted to get better for themselves and not the other person.
I did get kinda bored towards the end, it just felt like the spark from the beginning was gone hah soo I skimmed the last 15%-20%… 😬
Moral of the story learn to love yourself flaws and all. and to make sure you get better for yourself first and foremost, not for someone else.
October 16, 2018
I don’t even know how to start this review all you guys need to know is: YOU NEED THIS BOOK IN YOUR LIFE!!
this book was amazing and emotional and everything i ever wanted in a male/male romance. the two main characters were both going through so many things im not going to spoil anything but they have both gone through so much and i cried my eyes out on every single chapter.
Disclaimer: there is a lot of trigger warning in this book so i would be aware. Self harm is a big thing in this book that one of the main characters go though. I WARNED YOU ALL 😊
this book was amazing and emotional and everything i ever wanted in a male/male romance. the two main characters were both going through so many things im not going to spoil anything but they have both gone through so much and i cried my eyes out on every single chapter.
Disclaimer: there is a lot of trigger warning in this book so i would be aware. Self harm is a big thing in this book that one of the main characters go though. I WARNED YOU ALL 😊
December 9, 2018
I loved the story, and the characters. The sex was hot (except one little thing). Ugh!
But the whole thing felt rushed. I don't mean their relationship. It was not insta. But probably because of the writing style. There was more telling than showing.
Most of the time the characters just said what happened that day, instead of discussing it. Like, for example Corey said this and it's not a direct quote: "When I arrived home and rushed inside, I immediately opened up the chat. Silas was already waiting for me. We talked about our days. He told me about his new client, what he ate for lunch, how he spied on our neighbors. After a few hours talking, I ate dinner, took a shower and went to bed."
See what I mean? It's all just telling. Almost the whole book was written like this. Why couldn't there be more dialogue? Ugh. And I think that's why it felt rushed.
So 3.5 stars.
But the whole thing felt rushed. I don't mean their relationship. It was not insta. But probably because of the writing style. There was more telling than showing.
Most of the time the characters just said what happened that day, instead of discussing it. Like, for example Corey said this and it's not a direct quote: "When I arrived home and rushed inside, I immediately opened up the chat. Silas was already waiting for me. We talked about our days. He told me about his new client, what he ate for lunch, how he spied on our neighbors. After a few hours talking, I ate dinner, took a shower and went to bed."
See what I mean? It's all just telling. Almost the whole book was written like this. Why couldn't there be more dialogue? Ugh. And I think that's why it felt rushed.
So 3.5 stars.
October 10, 2018
Silas is trapped by agoraphobia. He watches the neighborhood and finds himself fascinated by his new next door neighbor. Corey has suffered from mental issues most of his life. When the two exchange notes they find a lot of common ground.
This book is super intense. The mental issues are handled with sensitivity and compassion. Negative behaviors are explored with dignity. The intensity is balanced with the romance. I enjoyed the journey the men were on and was satisfied by the end. Impeccably plotted and crafted. I highly recommend this book.
This book is super intense. The mental issues are handled with sensitivity and compassion. Negative behaviors are explored with dignity. The intensity is balanced with the romance. I enjoyed the journey the men were on and was satisfied by the end. Impeccably plotted and crafted. I highly recommend this book.
July 23, 2024
⊹ ⁺ ₊ ✧
Beautiful Chaos
┊
3 stars
✧ ₊ ⁺ ⊹
☆₊⋆ → thoughts┊I loved their dynamic except when it came to the spice, I just didn’t vibe with it. They were so cute together though, but I didn’t connect with the characters.
☾ TWs ☽
౨ৎ happy reading ౨ৎ
∘₊✧ ── "To be without Corey would have been to be without breath." ── ✧₊∘
☆₊⋆ → thoughts┊I loved their dynamic except when it came to the spice, I just didn’t vibe with it. They were so cute together though, but I didn’t connect with the characters.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄☆⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
☾ TWs ☽
౨ৎ happy reading ౨ৎ
October 19, 2018
This was a much better collaboration between these two authors than previous efforts. This story contains and immense amount of trauma and both MC's are very damaged individuals. The story was gritty and felt very organic. Nothing was rushed and everything did not get wrapped up perfectly. There was no perfect here there was just hope and things are getting better which I liked. Good story.
July 31, 2019
Get it here:
Amazon US * Amazon UK
I was a little nervous going into this book since both main characters were dealing with some pretty heavy things and I was worried one would be pushed into the background. But that didn't happen at all and I really enjoyed how Both Silas's and Corey's problems were dealt with. And we still got a heavy dose of romance between them that I loved. Definitely a must read for fans of m/m or emotional stories.
Amazon US * Amazon UK
I was a little nervous going into this book since both main characters were dealing with some pretty heavy things and I was worried one would be pushed into the background. But that didn't happen at all and I really enjoyed how Both Silas's and Corey's problems were dealt with. And we still got a heavy dose of romance between them that I loved. Definitely a must read for fans of m/m or emotional stories.
October 23, 2018
4 stars.
September 26, 2023
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mental Illness, Domestic Abuse & Kidnapping
It's an amazing book about mental illness, domestic violence and kidnapping, and I warn any reader that it is very dark, but also extremely thought provoking. We have Silas Rizner who has agoraphobia as the result of a horrible and unspeakable violent event that happened to him as a young adult. He is literally a prisoner within his own home, shutting out the rest of the world, except for his one and only friend, Dyna. Dyna is the only person he trusts to enter his house. Corey Marshall moves in next door and attracts Silas’ immediate attention. Corey has fought his own demons for as long as he can remember. He lost the only person who ever truly loved him...his mom, when he was eighteen. The only other person to show him attention, almost killed him during a domestic violence situation. Now he can barely get through his daily life. He vows to never let anyone close to him again as he believes on a deep-down level that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. He daily gets release from physical pain and that is always too short lived. When these two men become attracted to one another we have to wonder how can anything possibly work? I've read Riley Hart for a long time, and I have to say that this has to be one of the darkest stories I have ever read, and I am still not entirely sure how to write this review. This story has stuck with me. I had to admire the way that it deals with mental illness in such an honest way. I had read that the authors worked with two psychologists and a therapist to make sure they got it right, and actually had them read the book for authenticity purposes. Silas and Corey have both dealt with some of the most horrific things that can be done to someone by another person. It makes you wonder how anyone could survive all they have been through and even still function. They no longer have anything resembling trust left in their lives, yet they know that they need to find some way, or what life that is left to them won't be worth living. The story deals with the aftermath of extreme violence. This book will certainly not be for everyone, and I strongly advise a future reader to pay attention to the "trigger warnings" at the beginning of this review. If you decide to read it you will find that it is one of the most touching stories you will ever read, showing just how strong the human spirit is and how it can rise above anything no matter how hard. Simply, it's the story of how love can, and does, survive.
It's an amazing book about mental illness, domestic violence and kidnapping, and I warn any reader that it is very dark, but also extremely thought provoking. We have Silas Rizner who has agoraphobia as the result of a horrible and unspeakable violent event that happened to him as a young adult. He is literally a prisoner within his own home, shutting out the rest of the world, except for his one and only friend, Dyna. Dyna is the only person he trusts to enter his house. Corey Marshall moves in next door and attracts Silas’ immediate attention. Corey has fought his own demons for as long as he can remember. He lost the only person who ever truly loved him...his mom, when he was eighteen. The only other person to show him attention, almost killed him during a domestic violence situation. Now he can barely get through his daily life. He vows to never let anyone close to him again as he believes on a deep-down level that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. He daily gets release from physical pain and that is always too short lived. When these two men become attracted to one another we have to wonder how can anything possibly work? I've read Riley Hart for a long time, and I have to say that this has to be one of the darkest stories I have ever read, and I am still not entirely sure how to write this review. This story has stuck with me. I had to admire the way that it deals with mental illness in such an honest way. I had read that the authors worked with two psychologists and a therapist to make sure they got it right, and actually had them read the book for authenticity purposes. Silas and Corey have both dealt with some of the most horrific things that can be done to someone by another person. It makes you wonder how anyone could survive all they have been through and even still function. They no longer have anything resembling trust left in their lives, yet they know that they need to find some way, or what life that is left to them won't be worth living. The story deals with the aftermath of extreme violence. This book will certainly not be for everyone, and I strongly advise a future reader to pay attention to the "trigger warnings" at the beginning of this review. If you decide to read it you will find that it is one of the most touching stories you will ever read, showing just how strong the human spirit is and how it can rise above anything no matter how hard. Simply, it's the story of how love can, and does, survive.
November 4, 2018
Rzadko piszę cokolwiek pod książką, ale przy tej nie przejdę obojętnie. Skończyłam czytać wczoraj (a w zasadzie dzisiaj nad ranem), a jeszcze kłębi się we mnie tyle emocji, że mam mętlik w głowie i pewnie to co napiszę będzie chaotyczne. Boję się, że co bym nie napisała, będzie zbyt banalne. Jest to historia o potrzebie akceptacji, o posiadaniu nadziei, że miłość można znaleźć w najciemniejszych miejscach. Dla mnie jest to niesamowita, niebanalna, głęboko poruszająca, naszpikowana różnego rodzaju emocjami historia, której długo nie pozbędę się z głowy. Bohaterowie złamani, pokiereszowani na wiele sposobów, obaj tak wiele przeszli i to z powodu osób, którym zaufali, które nie miały prawa, by im to zrobić. Tak bardzo przeżywałam to co spotkało tę dwójkę, jak walczyli. Zawsze podchodzę bardzo emocjonalnie do książek, przeżywam z postaciami, ale tu… łzy za łzami.
„Obaj przeżyliśmy. Teraz nadszedł czas, aby żyć”.
Tak nadszedł czas, by żyć. Los połączył te dwie złamane dusze, by dać im szansę. Dać im nowy start. Serce mi krwawiło, ale cały czas żyłam nadzieją, nadzieją na lepsze jutro dla nich, zresztą autorzy tę nadzieję skutecznie we mnie zakorzeniali z każdym fragmentem. Że ci dwaj złamani mężczyźni będą swoimi kotwicami. I walczyli, obaj chcieli być silniejsi dla siebie, ale nie było to proste. Mimo że nie jest to łatwa historia, mimo wylanych wielu łez, uwielbiam opowieść o Sliasie i Corey’u. Czytałam ostrzeżenie autorów odnośnie książki i jej zawartości, ale muszę przyznać, że nie byłam w pełni przygotowana na to.
June 14, 2019
3.5 Stars
First half - 5 stars
Second half - Barely squeaked out with 3 stars
This had two very broken, damaged heroes. I was instantly intrigued and captivated by their different, but similar, stories. Silas has agoraphobia due to a traumatic event in his past and Corey suffers from self-harm, bipolar disorder, and lingering issues from his abusive ex. If hurt/comfort is your thing, you will love this. Since both characters are broken, at times you feel as if you are drowning in sadness and feels. There is certainly a heavy, serious, sometimes painful tone within this book but it made for a beautiful story as you watch Corey and Silas not only fall in love but work on the fears holding them back from living a full life.
Beautiful Choas was surprisingly kinky in a way I didn't see coming. I found the kink believable for Corey but not so much for Silas. . The story started off slow as they became friends and gradually built in a pace I found appropriate for each man's issues. I loved getting to know more about them before the steam started. What steam did occur wasn't too much; however, in case you are curious .
About 50% in, the writing style began to get on my nerves and I couldn't un-notice it. It has a telling vibe such as "He came home, we did this, we cooked dinner together, we watched a movie, and then Corey went home. Later, we video chatted until we fell asleep together". It was incredibly obvious that these scenes were occurring to move the plot along in lieu of a massive time jump while strengthing their connection but they were repetitive and boring. There is a lengthy separation in this book as well that while maybe necessary, I thought it went on too long. I skimmed through all the lovey-dovey stuff at the end, mainly due to losing the connection I had to the characters. I think the long ass separation that could have ended way sooner and needlessly dragged on somewhat ruined this book for me and by the end, I wasn't sure I cared much about their HEA anymore.
First half - 5 stars
Second half - Barely squeaked out with 3 stars
This had two very broken, damaged heroes. I was instantly intrigued and captivated by their different, but similar, stories. Silas has agoraphobia due to a traumatic event in his past and Corey suffers from self-harm, bipolar disorder, and lingering issues from his abusive ex. If hurt/comfort is your thing, you will love this. Since both characters are broken, at times you feel as if you are drowning in sadness and feels. There is certainly a heavy, serious, sometimes painful tone within this book but it made for a beautiful story as you watch Corey and Silas not only fall in love but work on the fears holding them back from living a full life.
Beautiful Choas was surprisingly kinky in a way I didn't see coming. I found the kink believable for Corey but not so much for Silas. . The story started off slow as they became friends and gradually built in a pace I found appropriate for each man's issues. I loved getting to know more about them before the steam started. What steam did occur wasn't too much; however, in case you are curious .
About 50% in, the writing style began to get on my nerves and I couldn't un-notice it. It has a telling vibe such as "He came home, we did this, we cooked dinner together, we watched a movie, and then Corey went home. Later, we video chatted until we fell asleep together". It was incredibly obvious that these scenes were occurring to move the plot along in lieu of a massive time jump while strengthing their connection but they were repetitive and boring. There is a lengthy separation in this book as well that while maybe necessary, I thought it went on too long. I skimmed through all the lovey-dovey stuff at the end, mainly due to losing the connection I had to the characters. I think the long ass separation that could have ended way sooner and needlessly dragged on somewhat ruined this book for me and by the end, I wasn't sure I cared much about their HEA anymore.
October 16, 2018
This book is simply brilliant! Honestly, Riley and Devon have delivered a love story that will have you fully engaged and cheering on the MCs as they work through their personal demons, both alone and together.
Corey and Silas absolutely define the books title and their journey to their #HEA is just heartbreakingly beautiful. I adored this story, it's gorgeous even in the sad parts.
A #recommended #read.
Please note the trigger warnings as this story may not suit all #readers due to the sensitive nature of each MCs trauma and their individual coping mechanisms.
5/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Corey and Silas absolutely define the books title and their journey to their #HEA is just heartbreakingly beautiful. I adored this story, it's gorgeous even in the sad parts.
A #recommended #read.
Please note the trigger warnings as this story may not suit all #readers due to the sensitive nature of each MCs trauma and their individual coping mechanisms.
5/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
May 6, 2021
I really liked this book but there was a lot of hurt in it.
March 11, 2023
3/5 stars
August 10, 2019
This was NOT an easy book to finish because of the heavy stuff the MCs went through. I was glad that I read it through to the end though.
I love it when characters get their well deserved HEA and these two certainly did!!
Great writing from this duo
I love it when characters get their well deserved HEA and these two certainly did!!
Great writing from this duo
October 17, 2018
Beautiful Chaos by Riley Hart and Devon McCormack
5 stars!!!
I was in need of a different read, my book funk was real, and a contemporary romance just wasn’t hitting the spot, and so I decided to read an M/M. Scouting Amazon for a read I came across this one and the blurb just called to me, and I’m so glad that I took that jump. This book was stunningly, heart-breakingly beautiful. These characters…I adored them, every beautiful, broken piece of them. These two will stay with me for a very long time.
Silas is an agoraphobic, his home his prison and the comings and goings of his neighbours a way of passing way too much time on his hands. Blighted by insomnia, Silas spent way too many hours being a voyeur, but more for the feeling of safety than being nosey and bored. Silas wasn’t always this way, after a traumatic event, the mental scars were everlasting even though the physical scars had healed.
Corey has just moved into the neighbourhood, a new start, because like Silas, he had been through the mill too. Corey has his own issues, ones that he is making strides in overcoming. But again, like Silas, the physical scars may remain, but it is the mental scars that leave their lasting mark that dictate the future he feels he deserves.
On paper, these two should never have worked, their issues too great, too deep-rooted, too all-consuming and yet something draws these beautiful souls together, and it all starts in the most adorable meet-cutes.
I was championing these two along from the beginning, I wanted them to overcome their issues even though I knew deep down it was a tall order. This book covers some extremely sensitive subjects, and the authors dealt with them with sensitivity and care and so much emotion. My heart was decimated for the situation that these two found themselves in and yet the authors expertly give the reader that constant glimmer of hope that these two broken men could and would be each other's balm.
This was a stunning slow burn, one that forged that character connection deep into your heart and soul as the authors slowly leak out their pasts and their own tragedies. Neither man looking for love, but more acceptance and finding it with the one person that could understand them the most. Neither man wanting to ask for help and yet finding it with notes, video chats, kisses and more. I loved everything about this book. My heart full by the end and my tear ducts alleviated of a little saline. I will definitely be reading more by these two authors.
www.theromancecover.com
5 stars!!!
“I’m me.”
I was in need of a different read, my book funk was real, and a contemporary romance just wasn’t hitting the spot, and so I decided to read an M/M. Scouting Amazon for a read I came across this one and the blurb just called to me, and I’m so glad that I took that jump. This book was stunningly, heart-breakingly beautiful. These characters…I adored them, every beautiful, broken piece of them. These two will stay with me for a very long time.
“We’ve both survived. Now it’s time to live.”
Silas is an agoraphobic, his home his prison and the comings and goings of his neighbours a way of passing way too much time on his hands. Blighted by insomnia, Silas spent way too many hours being a voyeur, but more for the feeling of safety than being nosey and bored. Silas wasn’t always this way, after a traumatic event, the mental scars were everlasting even though the physical scars had healed.
“We weren’t people or animals, but two souls colliding among the stars, the eruption shooting all our pain and hurt outside our reach.”
Corey has just moved into the neighbourhood, a new start, because like Silas, he had been through the mill too. Corey has his own issues, ones that he is making strides in overcoming. But again, like Silas, the physical scars may remain, but it is the mental scars that leave their lasting mark that dictate the future he feels he deserves.
On paper, these two should never have worked, their issues too great, too deep-rooted, too all-consuming and yet something draws these beautiful souls together, and it all starts in the most adorable meet-cutes.
“The whole world was walking on shards, traipsing across the broken fragments of my life scattered all around me.”
I was championing these two along from the beginning, I wanted them to overcome their issues even though I knew deep down it was a tall order. This book covers some extremely sensitive subjects, and the authors dealt with them with sensitivity and care and so much emotion. My heart was decimated for the situation that these two found themselves in and yet the authors expertly give the reader that constant glimmer of hope that these two broken men could and would be each other's balm.
“You’re my home…the only one I’ve had in a long time.”
This was a stunning slow burn, one that forged that character connection deep into your heart and soul as the authors slowly leak out their pasts and their own tragedies. Neither man looking for love, but more acceptance and finding it with the one person that could understand them the most. Neither man wanting to ask for help and yet finding it with notes, video chats, kisses and more. I loved everything about this book. My heart full by the end and my tear ducts alleviated of a little saline. I will definitely be reading more by these two authors.
www.theromancecover.com
November 2, 2018
I seem to grativating toward emotionally intense and darker books lately, Beautiful Chaos scratched that itch wonderfully.
This is the story of Silas and Corey, who both have traumatic pasts, the effects of which still hounding them. This isn’t an easy book to read, these characters have experienced the most cruel side of humanity and the world and they’re still suffering years later.
That’s when they find each other. The relationship building is very well-paced and slowburning, developing a friendship first. Corey and Silas find so much in each other; comfort, affection both of which are starved for, strength, motivation... They connect on such a deep level and just get each other in every way. They chip each other walls and defenses down, slowly open up and through their empathy for each other and their building hope for happiness together, they find a will to get better for themselves.
This isn’t a “love cures mental illness” story. In fact, it’s the antithesis of that. It doesn’t shy away from showing how Silas and Corey can enable each others dysfunctional coping mechanisms. I loved that honesty and realness so, so much. It emphasized that recovery is hard work and requires willingness to struggle and put in the effort.
This was a fantastic read for me personally.
This is the story of Silas and Corey, who both have traumatic pasts, the effects of which still hounding them. This isn’t an easy book to read, these characters have experienced the most cruel side of humanity and the world and they’re still suffering years later.
That’s when they find each other. The relationship building is very well-paced and slowburning, developing a friendship first. Corey and Silas find so much in each other; comfort, affection both of which are starved for, strength, motivation... They connect on such a deep level and just get each other in every way. They chip each other walls and defenses down, slowly open up and through their empathy for each other and their building hope for happiness together, they find a will to get better for themselves.
This isn’t a “love cures mental illness” story. In fact, it’s the antithesis of that. It doesn’t shy away from showing how Silas and Corey can enable each others dysfunctional coping mechanisms. I loved that honesty and realness so, so much. It emphasized that recovery is hard work and requires willingness to struggle and put in the effort.
This was a fantastic read for me personally.
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August 26, 2021
I want to give this book 5 stars because of how the research and the attention to detail that was given to both main characters and their demons but I couldn’t get fully on board with the rest of it. I absolutely LOVE Silas and Corey, the relationship they created together despite the profound traumas they both had and I loved the way both were motivated to finally get help after realizing they could never be together unless they made themselves better as individuals.
The reason I couldn’t get fully on board with this book is because the last 30% felt very rushed. The characters deserved more and I wish it had been longer or made into a duet. 3 months is not enough time to overcome the trauma both these men had and while it was clear they both still had work to do, it just wasn’t realistic. I understand it’s fiction but because the rest of the book is so raw, gritty and real, I did not like the way this was cleanly tied up in a bow. I wanted to see how they overcame their demons, how things progressed after they both started working on themselves and not have a surface level gloss over at the end. Besides that though, I loved these two characters and I cried my eyes out reading this.
The reason I couldn’t get fully on board with this book is because the last 30% felt very rushed. The characters deserved more and I wish it had been longer or made into a duet. 3 months is not enough time to overcome the trauma both these men had and while it was clear they both still had work to do, it just wasn’t realistic. I understand it’s fiction but because the rest of the book is so raw, gritty and real, I did not like the way this was cleanly tied up in a bow. I wanted to see how they overcame their demons, how things progressed after they both started working on themselves and not have a surface level gloss over at the end. Besides that though, I loved these two characters and I cried my eyes out reading this.
January 7, 2019
A Perfectly Imperfect Love Story
I loved this story. I loved everything about this. I loved how perfectly imperfect Silas and Corey were as a couple and as individuals. This story was a lot darker than others by Hart and McCormack but was just as hot and romantic. This is definitely going to be one of my favorite books for 2019. I’m ready to read it again. It was that good.
I loved this story. I loved everything about this. I loved how perfectly imperfect Silas and Corey were as a couple and as individuals. This story was a lot darker than others by Hart and McCormack but was just as hot and romantic. This is definitely going to be one of my favorite books for 2019. I’m ready to read it again. It was that good.
October 19, 2018
The foreword is almost "too discouraging." The book was not too sad, dark, depressing of any of the like to me but I did get bored and started skimming.
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