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The Dark Sides of Empathy

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Many consider empathy to be the basis of moral action. However, the ability to empathize with others is also a prerequisite for deliberate acts of humiliation and cruelty toward them. In The Dark Sides of Empathy, Fritz Breithaupt contends that people commit atrocities not out of a failure of empathy but rather as a direct consequence of over-identification. Even well-meaning compassion can have many unintended consequences, such as intensifying conflicts or exploiting others.

Empathy plays a central part in a variety of highly problematic behaviors. From mere callousness to terrorism, exploitation to sadism, and emotional vampirism to stalking, empathy all too often motivates and promotes malicious acts. After tracing the history of empathy as an idea in German philosophy, Breithaupt looks at a wide-ranging series of case studies -- from Stockholm syndrome to Angela Merkel's refugee policy and from novels of the Romantic era to helicopter parents and murderous cheerleader moms -- to uncover how narcissism, sadism, and dangerous celebrity obsessions alike find their roots in the quality that, arguably, most makes us human.

288 pages, Paperback

First published June 15, 2019

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Fritz Breithaupt

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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for McKenzie.
284 reviews35 followers
July 2, 2019
I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I'll be honest I didn't get very far in this book. I didn't feel drawn to continue it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it reads like an essay, a really long needlessly drawn out essay. Secondly, the conclusions Breithaupt was drawing early on felt inaccurate. For example, he opined that serial killers kill because of the empathy they feel with their victim's suffering. I'm not a psychologist but I think that's too simplistic and makes it seem as though all serial killers would be at least partly masochistic rather than just sadistic. The way it was worded made it seem as though empathy caused them to kill people rather than it being something else in their psyche that caused it and empathy was just a convenient emotion during the killing. Either way this book just didn't feel like it had been written or edited as it should have been and it led me to stop reading. This book simply wasn't for me.

Please come visit the blog https://www.literarydragonreviews.web...
Profile Image for Lora Milton.
620 reviews
November 15, 2020
This is a Psychology book and as such a little dry. It examines the minds of people who rather than using empathy to sympathise with others in a positive way, are actually motivated by it to do harm.

Breithaupt gives five dark sides of empathy: self loss, black and white thinking, humanitarianism as ego gratification, the darkest one in my opinion is motivation for sadism, identifying with the victim, and vampiristic empathy, people who expand their own life experience by over-identifying with someone else, like helicopter parents.

It's a very dark read, but very thought-provoking and genius in its field. This would be very useful for anyone who works in the psychiatric field or for people who deal with negative qualities from someone else who may fit one of these categories. Also Horror writers who could easily base a scary character on these all too human flaws.

Impressively insightful, if disturbing.
Profile Image for Dimitris Passas (TapTheLine).
485 reviews76 followers
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May 22, 2019
This was a title I was eager to check out as I was curious to see the argument(s) that would put in question the dominant interpretation(s) of empathy. The writer, Fritz Breithaupt, is a professor of cognitive science but himself claims that his main academic focus is literary criticism and cultural studies. He claims that this is not a book against empathy but rather intends to suggest a different approach to this "central form that shapes what we are as human beings". Breithaupt struggles to show the reader the sadistic, callous actions that can be triggered by empathy and because of it. He writes: "Extreme acts of cruelty require a high level of empathy" and continues, "Sadism is not the product of a lack of empathy but rather from the wish for its intensification".

The book consists of five chapters (plus the introduction and the epilogue), and some of them are truly engaging as Breithaupt follows consistent reasoning, thus never confusing even the ignorant reader, and he coins terms such as "False Empathy", "Filtered Empathy", "Empathetic Sadism" and "Vampiristic Empathy" (!). I found the first chapter on the relation of the Nietzschean notions of "Self" and "Self-Loss" with empathy and Aesthetics. Nietzsche, in his books Beyond Good and Evil and Genealogy of Morals, writes about the "Objective Man'' who is an observer lacking any special feature that is associated with the sense of selfhood, he is nothing more than a mirror who, nevertheless, is the only human being capable of expressing genuine sympathy. Those who exhibit a strong sense of self are not likely to show signs of empathy as their defining features block such inclinations. I also thought that the third chapter about false and filtered empathy was also enlightening and very well-written.

There is also a number of references for those who are interested in the subject, so don't forget to check out the bibliography at the end of the book. To sum up, this is an interesting read on a subject that, until now, was not in dispute in the academic milieu. Any bold attempt to new interpretations on tough subjects is worthy of our respect and Fritz Breithaupt succeeds in planting the seed of doubt in the readers' minds.

I want to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing a free ARC of this title.
Profile Image for Morgan Schulman.
1,295 reviews47 followers
April 18, 2019
I received an advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book caused me to think things through very deeply that I probably would not have thought if I had not read it – and for that alone I would consider it a worthwhile use of my time. It examines human nature more honestly then many books of its kind, and well I definitely saw some of myself in the more selfish or as he would put it “vampiric “type of empathy, I understand that was something I probably needed to look at. I work in mental health, with people who are often considered personality disordered, which labels them as having a lack of empathy, but instead it is this dark empathy that dominates that leads to their behaviors, and so much of what happens in our society that often leads us confused- how could “good” people cause such bad feeling? Definitely should be read by students of psychology and philosophy.
Profile Image for H. C..
125 reviews5 followers
June 24, 2023
I’m definitely biased because the author was my college professor, but this book was very informative and interesting to read nonetheless.

On a side note, the author is a really cool guy and he’s so kind! I love how enthusiastic he is about his teaching. He whizzes around the room as he teaches!
Profile Image for Jim Robles.
436 reviews44 followers
August 24, 2019
Five stars! Our motives are fortunately and unfortunately usually opaque to ourselves. Let us be careful what we do and why. This one provides dark guidance.

"Empathy is not necessarily pernicious, but neither is it principally good" (221).

I first heard about this one on NPR:
The End Of Empathy
April 15, 20195:00 AM ET
HANNA ROSIN

https://www.npr.org/2019/04/15/712249...

"Introduction

This book is about the terrible things we do because of our ability to empathize with others" (1).

"Painting the world in black and white makes such perception easier, as does the stage view afforded by vampiristic empathy" (18).

Men react differently than women to punishment of the guilty. "This specific difference is more remarkable because in no other case has so fundamental a difference between men and women in empathy-relevant situations been found" (28-29).

"1 Self-Loss" (37)

"To quickly summarize the argument in the first part of 'On the Genealogy of Morals': Morality is the product of the conflict between two political classes (or races), namely masters and common people or slaves" (52).

"Usually the more central features of a culture are not visible from within" (71).

"2 Painting in Black and White" (75)

"The focus on the actual uses of empathy then leads to one of the dark sides of empathy--the biases, prejudices, and injustices that empathy can cause" (76).

"Catalysts. . . . unconscious emotional 'infection' . . . mass hysteria)" (80). Also p. 88.

"In-group bias" (86). Particularism!

"Research indicates that people show more empathy towards acute patients than chronic patients in specific cases" (92).

"It seems to be a compelling hypothesis that side-taking is the primary, and evolutionarily older, structure and that moral judgment follows closely on its heels" (98).

The "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin" leaped off of p. 101. He is a vegetarian for moral reasons. He is becalmed at sea. Cod are being caught and fried, and smell "wonderfully good." He triumphantly justifies giving up vegetarianism exactly as described.

"Modern terrorism has its origins in the incendiary nationalisms of the nineteenth century, which coincided with the emergence of mass media" (115).

The bottom of p. 115 misses the effect of the ummah, and understates the positive correlation between material well-being and propensity to commit terrorist acts.

"This case suggests the limits of education to make a significant difference in perspectives shaped by history" (119).

"3 False Empathy, Filtered Empathy" (131)

"Positive change allows the emphatic observer to withdraw their empathy once the other no longer needs it" (133). This allows us to expect the undeveloped world to remain in a state of immiseration as we continue to consume and pollute.

"To me, our current global state of affairs seems to be utterly indefensible, radically unfair, and life negating" (144).

"Both filtered empathy and false empathy can create a quick straw fire of enthusiasm, but it does not usually last" (158).

"4 Empathetic Sadism" (161)

"The paradox of tragedy is that the observer is left with a positive (or somehow positively marked) feeling as a direct result of the terrible fate of the tragic hero" (164).

"Seen this way, sadistic empathy makes sense, as it would have a selection advantage for the community" (177).

The "dictator game" is on p. 178. The motive is revenge, rather than fairness.

"Akin to the sadistic benefactor is the figure wielding advocative exploitative empathy. This advocate empathizes with the one suffering and takes their side in order to find pleasure and satisfaction in playing the role of the advocate. Because the suffering of the other is necessary for the existence of their role, this can mean that the advocate wishes for positive change while at the same time prolonging the suffering" (189).

"5 Vampiristic Empathy" (201)

"Epilogue: Empathy Between Morality and Aesthetics" (221)
Profile Image for J Earl.
2,350 reviews113 followers
August 1, 2019
The Dark Sides of Empathy from Fritz Breithaupt makes the general argument about empathy that, I think, can be made about just about any aspect of human feeling and behavior, namely that there are more sides than the one we generally perceive.

I have mixed feelings about this book, but less because of the conclusion than because of the structures and arguments constructed in making his argument. In other words, I agree that empathy, just like love and selfishness/selflessness, can have negative as well as positive outcomes. I just disagree with some of what he calls empathy as well as some of what he claims isn't empathy. It seemed to me that he made his case far more convoluted than it had to be, and in doing so overstepped in his structuring of what is and is not empathy or empathetic feelings.

I found some of his readings to be very good, particularly of Nietzsche in the first chapter. I have a couple minor disagreements there but that could largely be from the context within which I first studied those texts. I did not, however, think some of his connections were as strong as he believes them to be.

In short, I think he could have made his case with a lot less mental gymnastics. I think he could lose some readers through minor disagreements when a more basic argument might have brought more agreement. I don't buy all of his categories or his architecture. I don't dismiss them out of hand either, I just am not convinced based on this book, my previous readings in the area, and my life experiences. Yet those same factors are exactly why I agree with his conclusion, that empathy is far more nuanced than popular opinion currently believes.

A quote from an interview he did sums up much of what I agree with: "Yes, we're biologically primed for it [empathy], but we also have to cultivate it, and cultivation is something that can [be a] lifelong learning task." That cultivation is how we can minimize the negative or darker aspects while enhancing the positive.

I do recommend this to readers who want to understand empathy better. We are told in many venues to be empathetic, but that is far too broad of a statement, there are times to temper our empathy, even if only for a short time until we have more information. Breithaupt's book will help you to think about when these times might be, and any additional self-knowledge we gain is a positive.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.
31 reviews33 followers
August 4, 2019
The Dark Sides of Empathy by Fritz Breithaupt presented many interesting arguments related to the downside of empathy and made a case that we should not just blindly teach or encourage empathy without any checks and balances. While there were many interesting arguments, and it was interesting to learn about the history of empathy and empathy research, the book was written in a very academic way. It made it more challenging to read and I felt that I needed to read it more slowly and/or read again certain passages and paragraphs in order to accurately interpret and retain the information that was being presented. I would not consider most of the book a light or easy read, and I think some of the arguments were overly elaborate and convoluted and could have been said in a more succinct and easy to read manner. Some chapters were an easier read than others.

With that being said, it did get me to think about empathy in some ways that I had not really fully considered. As someone who works in the mental health field, and utilizes empathy on a daily basis, it was an overall interesting read, and inspired me to give more thought to empathy and the roles that it plays in relationships to others, as well as to the relationship to ourselves. It was also interesting to read about situations where I think most people would assume someone is displaying a lack of empathy, but many of the arguments in the book suggest it is actually the opposite.

If you are looking for a lighter read, this probably is not the book for you, but if you want to learn more about empathy, and don’t mind something written more like an argument essay or something written in a more academic way, then you would probably enjoy this book.

I was given the opportunity to read this book thanks to NetGalley and the publishers in an exchange for an unbiased review.

#bookreview #NetGalley #TheDarkSidesOfEmpathy
Profile Image for Anusha Datar.
417 reviews12 followers
March 19, 2022
I've always almost strictly (and naively!) thought of empathy as a virtue. Of course, someone could be so empathetic that it could interfere with their own self-interest, but I generally saw this as something generally admirable, even if it ended in unideal outcomes.

This book provides a more balanced framing of empathy and focuses on its negative outcomes. I thought his contentions were reasonable, even if the writing style was sometimes a little overly verbose or otherwise hard to track. I do wish he had more cleanly defined and stuck to a clear definition of empathy throughout the book, but I thought his variation was acceptable.

I think that Breithaupt's examples and references to literature are very hit or miss throughout this book. I enjoyed his exploration of Nietzsche early in the book and his framing of vampirist empathy towards the end, but I found some of his commentary around sadism and filtered empathy to be a bit contrived and drawn out. It also felt like there was a whole body of literature he chose not to reference - I wish he had provided more detail around the psychology of soldiers or other instruments of control/operation.

I gave this book three out of five stars because while I enjoyed the premise and the general concept of the execution, I did sometimes find the content somewhat tired and excessive. Either way, I would recommend that someone interested in this topic take the time to at least visit this text.
Profile Image for Sergio Caredda.
298 reviews14 followers
August 21, 2019
L’autore esamina il concetto di Empatia da molti punti di vista, sottolineando che non necessariamente l’empatia abbia un valore morale positivo.
Investigando ambiti legati al comportamento umano, offre una chiave di lettura molto interessante su un tema che nella recente letteratura, specie manageriale, viene semplicemente considerato “positivo”, senza chiedersi cosa ci sia dietro.
Il testo è scritto come saggio scientifico, quindi non si presta a una facile divulgazione. Ma molti degli esempi più attuali aiutano a comprendere molto bene le varie interpretazioni proposte.
Fa sicuramente riflettere.
Profile Image for Steve Ellerhoff.
Author 12 books61 followers
October 9, 2022
Breithaupt presents an argument for empathy that nevertheless focuses on the ways it can go wrong. Feels like a necessary and positive voice to help correct some of the pie-in-the-sky takes on empathy -- as well as the outright rejections of it. I found the chapter on empathetic vampirism especially interesting. The voice struck me as being dry, clinical, so general readers might find it tedious. But the ideas are pretty dang good.
Profile Image for Cristie Underwood.
2,270 reviews66 followers
June 16, 2019
The author really laid out a strong case with numerous facts about how harmful empathy can be. I never thought that people could be too empathetic, but this book has me second guessing that! This was well written and provided new insight into empathy for me.
Profile Image for Matthew Chapman.
329 reviews1 follower
July 20, 2022
The best book I have read on empathy. A needed balance to many peoples assumption that empathy is universally good. I would recommend many of my friends and colleagues read this book.
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