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Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way can help. Based on Gary Neuman's phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty thousand children cope with divorce, this warm, empathetic guide shows
How to build a co-parenting relationship--even when you think you can't
When you or your child should see a therapist
Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues
What to do when a parent moves away
How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse
How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation
How to help your child deal with change
How to cope with kids' common fears about separation
How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily
More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children's lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
How to build a co-parenting relationship--even when you think you can't
When you or your child should see a therapist
Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues
What to do when a parent moves away
How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse
How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation
How to help your child deal with change
How to cope with kids' common fears about separation
How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily
More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children's lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
460 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
November 12, 2025
This was insightful, and I think that it would be a good book for parents going through a divorce that does not involve abuse, either physical or substance. The advice there seemed like it would be great if I was divorcing a rational or even stable person, but due to the situation things were just not tenable. There was a blurb in the book about halfway in that a lot of this information can be disregarded when an abusive situation is present; it was at that point that I started skimming.
For additional reviews please see my blog at www.adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot...
For additional reviews please see my blog at www.adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot...
January 12, 2016
Some helpful information. Some of it I disagreed with so much that I'd recommend the book only with disclaimers. The big problem for me was that it advocated what I consider to be lying to your children. Truths certainly have to be delivered at age appropriate times and in age appropriate ways, but it is never a good idea to lie. Kids need someone in their lives who will tell them the truth.
February 26, 2012
I have used this book to work with families going through divorces. The author is extremely helpful in helping parents to understand this process from the child's point of view and age of the child.
February 26, 2015
Clear. Concrete. Practical, with examples and suggested games to help kids talk about their feelings. Recommended.
March 28, 2020
Really very good book...I feeling happy when I read the context of this parts.
contents:
_ Introduction: parenting after divorce………..p03
where do the pessimistic predictions come from? …etc.
1. How children Expreience divorce……………..p25
- The Art of discipline………………………………..p
- technique for dealing with anger…………p
- remember that you child loves you, too…
2. Bodies to sticks, make-believe to resolution : understanding children’s play and Art:………………p53
- the play’s the thing. A suggested shopping list-stooking your art cabinet…….p85
3. a life begins: understanding your infant or toddler…….p85
4. the age of wonder: understanding your preschooler….p105
5. the discovery of self: understanding your six to eight year old..p123
6. the season of change: understanding your nine to twelve your old…p139
7. the oust for independence: understanding your thirthen to seventeen year old…….p159
8. the challenge of change……….p179
9. “please stop! : when parents fight………..p193
10. the first day of divorce: how to tell you child……p223
11. the first goodbye: when a parent moves aways……p249
12. hello, good bye: cusstoday and visitation……..p271
13. one heart, two homes: parenting the child of divorce….p303
14. Our new life: dealing with divorce related change….p331
15. there’s someone I want you to meet: you new signicant other…p357
16. More than “Another chance”: the stepfamily……..p383
17. Epilogue: the changing Family………p415
Introduction:
- Free to love, children of divorce need and desrve permission to love both of their parents as this serventeen- year old boy illustrates.
- all loving parents want the best for their children.
Facing the future together:
- the legal dissolution of a marriage is not a single, isolated event but a long –term series of gains and losses, break throughs and setbacks, calm and crisis…..etc.
- For adults divorce can represent an ascape from an unhapyor abusive situation, a new world of challenges and possibilities a tragic disappointment, a fresh start.
- Parents after divorce become so absorbed in the amotional ,legal… and they may not realize how differently their children view the changes in their lives.
How children experience divorce:
- Divorce is a family problem, but this book is predominatly about children: how divroce affects them, how they feel about it.
- what this book will give you is the insight and the practical advice to help your child cope with and understand to the best of his ability.
- Children of divorce also experience high levels of stress but lack the coping skill and apportunities adults dependon.
- the problem is that the needs to learn to do so in an apporopriate, acceptable manner.
- All children need parents quidance and love to find the acceptance and resolution and resolution they must achieve to continue growing.
Communication as an Expression of love:
- communication must flow two ways, and communication with children is not easy under the best of circumstances, and divorced parents often have trouble for other reason.
- Divorce complicates the job of parenting you maybe very argry with year ex- spouse or feel threatened or half siblings and a stepparent.
the new Facts of life:
- I believe that one reason parents and children of divorce feel so helpless is that the society at large has not quite reconciled to the reality of divorce.
- I firmly believe that every couple should strive to repair and develop a marriage of happiness. but this is not always possible and once a couple has decide to divorce everyone should accept their decision.
- the sendcastle survery ( the sanscastles program).
- sample authorization for emergency treatment of minors.
contents:
_ Introduction: parenting after divorce………..p03
where do the pessimistic predictions come from? …etc.
1. How children Expreience divorce……………..p25
- The Art of discipline………………………………..p
- technique for dealing with anger…………p
- remember that you child loves you, too…
2. Bodies to sticks, make-believe to resolution : understanding children’s play and Art:………………p53
- the play’s the thing. A suggested shopping list-stooking your art cabinet…….p85
3. a life begins: understanding your infant or toddler…….p85
4. the age of wonder: understanding your preschooler….p105
5. the discovery of self: understanding your six to eight year old..p123
6. the season of change: understanding your nine to twelve your old…p139
7. the oust for independence: understanding your thirthen to seventeen year old…….p159
8. the challenge of change……….p179
9. “please stop! : when parents fight………..p193
10. the first day of divorce: how to tell you child……p223
11. the first goodbye: when a parent moves aways……p249
12. hello, good bye: cusstoday and visitation……..p271
13. one heart, two homes: parenting the child of divorce….p303
14. Our new life: dealing with divorce related change….p331
15. there’s someone I want you to meet: you new signicant other…p357
16. More than “Another chance”: the stepfamily……..p383
17. Epilogue: the changing Family………p415
Introduction:
- Free to love, children of divorce need and desrve permission to love both of their parents as this serventeen- year old boy illustrates.
- all loving parents want the best for their children.
Facing the future together:
- the legal dissolution of a marriage is not a single, isolated event but a long –term series of gains and losses, break throughs and setbacks, calm and crisis…..etc.
- For adults divorce can represent an ascape from an unhapyor abusive situation, a new world of challenges and possibilities a tragic disappointment, a fresh start.
- Parents after divorce become so absorbed in the amotional ,legal… and they may not realize how differently their children view the changes in their lives.
How children experience divorce:
- Divorce is a family problem, but this book is predominatly about children: how divroce affects them, how they feel about it.
- what this book will give you is the insight and the practical advice to help your child cope with and understand to the best of his ability.
- Children of divorce also experience high levels of stress but lack the coping skill and apportunities adults dependon.
- the problem is that the needs to learn to do so in an apporopriate, acceptable manner.
- All children need parents quidance and love to find the acceptance and resolution and resolution they must achieve to continue growing.
Communication as an Expression of love:
- communication must flow two ways, and communication with children is not easy under the best of circumstances, and divorced parents often have trouble for other reason.
- Divorce complicates the job of parenting you maybe very argry with year ex- spouse or feel threatened or half siblings and a stepparent.
the new Facts of life:
- I believe that one reason parents and children of divorce feel so helpless is that the society at large has not quite reconciled to the reality of divorce.
- I firmly believe that every couple should strive to repair and develop a marriage of happiness. but this is not always possible and once a couple has decide to divorce everyone should accept their decision.
- the sendcastle survery ( the sanscastles program).
- sample authorization for emergency treatment of minors.
August 6, 2020
I'm so surprised to see the mixed reviews on this book. I imagine it can be a hard read, and it's not intended to fit all divorce situations, but it's the most comprehensive, practical book I've found on this topic. You get a lot of good background on child development and how kids respond by age, plus concrete "what to say when" advice. It's endorsed by Mr. Rogers, what more could you want?
March 31, 2024
عنوان فارسیش هست تاثیر طلاق بر فرزندان نشر صابرین منتشر کرده.
خوب و کاربردی بود
یه سری بازی خوب هم پیشنهاد داده که بنظرم رابطه والد کودک رو بعد طلاق به خوبی میسازه
خوب و کاربردی بود
یه سری بازی خوب هم پیشنهاد داده که بنظرم رابطه والد کودک رو بعد طلاق به خوبی میسازه
November 17, 2025
An insightful book. Not every chapter was applicable to my kids ages or my situation, but I was able to get some helpful learning.
November 27, 2012
This was (and remains) a very hard book to read. Not because the the writing style, but because of the reality of the pain of having to walk this road. The section on the introduction of new partners (and seeing how that impacts little ones) was especially brutal. That said, if you live in the West, this is an important book. This book is for those who are facing the reality of or walking in the reality of a divorce who have children and are trying, struggling and fighting to help their children not be overcome or defined by it. From that vantage point it is a very good book. I would very much recommend it.
August 23, 2007
Still in the process of reading, but it contains some very valuable information. PLUS, it totally validates some of my concerns/issues. Nice to see my thoughts and reasonings actually in written form.
June 25, 2010
I have used this book in the past with children I taught whose parents were going through a divorce. The author provides many strategies to help parents and teachers understand the perspective of children as they experience divorce and provides many strategies to help support them.
February 13, 2010
Just started browsing to help the boys and myself. Not much time to read these days but thought this could be helpful.
June 12, 2011
This book wasn't bad. It just wasn't relevant to the problems I am trying to solve.
July 11, 2012
If you have children and any of the following are true:
*divorced
*separated
*considering divorce
you MUST read this excellent book. You owe it to your kids, and you owe it to yourself.
*divorced
*separated
*considering divorce
you MUST read this excellent book. You owe it to your kids, and you owe it to yourself.
November 4, 2015
Parts of this were painful to read, but overall it was reassuring - and definitely worth the read.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews