We Live for the We: The Political Power of Black Motherhood

by Dani McClain

What black mothers can teach us about raising happy, free, and fearless children.

"Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to 'jump at the sun. We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.'"-Zora Neale Hurston

A longtime reporter on race, reproductive justice, policy and politics, Dani McClain is now also the mother of a baby girl. Like all first time mothers, she has countless questions about raising her child to be ethical and kind, but also to be healthy, happy, and safe in what she, as a black woman, knows to be an unjust, even hostile society to people of color.

In Jump at the Sun, McClain interviews other mothers and experts, asking the tough, scary questions, but also celebrating the joys of motherhood and hope that children bring. Following a child's development from infancy to toddlerhood through early childhood and the teenage years, the book touches on everything from the importance of creativity and the imagination to managing a functioning relationship with authority and the law. McClain shows that how we parent, perhaps even more importantly than how we participate in direct action and advocacy, will determine how we survive these turbulent times.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Feminism, Race, Social Justice, Anti Racist, Memoir

272 pages, Hardcover

First published April 2, 2019

Reviews

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exactly what I had been looking for as I became interested in reading about social justice, feminism and motherhood. Usually, books that focus on motherhood are catered to white middle class women. As a black woman, my experience is totally different when raising a child, a black child, in this racist world

Dani McClain answers what makes black mothering an inherently political act — from the construction to the content — this novel is everything. It provides real solutions + well researched content for various issues such as birth, co-parenting, discipline and more. It balances the fine line of personal with research. This novel would make the perfect Mother’s Day gift and I highly recommend you to pick this up!! If you want to read more of my thoughts, I put a full review on my blog✨

www.absorbedinpages.com/blog

[Traci Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting look at Black mothering. Lots of information and perspective in this book. Often times contradictory or at adds which I appreciated. Very smart and specific.

[Smileitsjoy (JoyMelody) · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you haven't read this book, then you need to stop what you're doing RIGHT now and crack the spine open and savor every sentence.
I have had this book on my shelf for some time and since I am such a mood reader it took some time for me to get to it and as always: I read a book RIGHT when I need to be reading it.

McClain does an amazing analysis of what it means to be a Black mother in the United States--a country so fraught with racism and white supremacy.
I felt like I savored every word and when ever I stopped reading I would sit for 30 mins just thinking about what I just read.

MUST READ

[Britt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is AMAZING. There are many ways that Black Motherhood has been the hardest most challenging thing that I have every tasked myself with, but it is definitely not a fruitless fight. Dr. McClain makes it clear that we are raising little formidable people that deserve out resources and wisdom. These same little people deserve to learn in environments that love and edify them while understanding the nuance of their black girl existence. As a mother, daughter, wife, and lover this book was beautiful.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

We Live For The We made me tear up in public places several times, gave my heart several reasons to soar, and offered me time to reflect on something I’ve only really thought about in the abstract as a late 20s, single, Black woman with no immediate interest in having children of my own. Despite my current status, reading this book felt familiar in a host of ways and aligned very closely with the beliefs I've formed for myself in my foray into adulthood. One quote the author shares that I think nicely sums up the feel of the book reads as follows:

"Black mothering is a political project, and our mission—should we choose to accept it—is nothing short of revolutionary."

It's clear from the entire book that creating an intentional atmosphere that enriches the life of her daughter is a high priority for the author, Dani McClain. I was consistently impressed (but interestingly not surprised) by the time and dedication the author took when considering most decisions concerning her daughter, both "large" and "small." It was helpful to see how many decisions I take for granted that mothers are considering daily. Reading this book so close to Mother's Day also gave me a whole nother wave of appreciation for my own mother and the gifts, small joys, and lessons she instilled in me before I even realized it was happening.

Each chapter addresses a different lens to look at motherhood and mothering and I enjoyed the number of perspectives throughout the reading experience. As the author is a dedicated writer by trade, it was a lovely experience to actually contend with the research she took into each of the claims she made (detailed extensively and helpfully at the end of the book). I'm sure it would be a less moving read for someone who doesn't agree with the author's ideology, but I found a lot of similarities in what she expressed and the general sentiments I have for the topics addressed. All in all, one I enjoyed and would recommend.

[Jalisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't lie I cried early on with the discussion of spanking as violence and the use of extension cords, etc. as weapons. It really broke me open and immediately reminded me of the feeling I got the first time I read bell hooks "All About Love." This was just the first of many ways this book would take my own lived experience and put it into a wider, more political context. It gave me a frame for really grappling with my own relationship with parenting and where it came from. I hadn't previously thought of Black motherhood as inherently political, but this book opened that up in some new ways and deepened my thinking in other ways. It feels like this book is in conversation with Mia Birdsong's "How We Show" in the way that it posits that our interpersonal relationships, and in this case mothering specifically, can be spaces where we practice the world we want to live in. I highly recommend this book and can't wait to discuss it with others.

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many good things about this book. As a mother, I appreciated reading the thoughts of another mother in my same city. As a white woman, I liked that she took the time to explain some of the misconceptions I had about black motherhood and family structure. I know I am not without my unconscious biases, but as a teacher who teaches mostly students of color, this book offered me a new perspective of how many of my students may be parented at home along with giving me ideas to use in my classroom (I like the idea of restorative justice) and school library (reaffirming for me my goal of making sure all of my students see themselves represented in the literature available to them). This book is well researched and reported, and this is a book I’d recommend to any mom.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

..Black women are more likely to die during pregnancy or birth than women of any race. I endured health problems during my pregnancy and had only white medical providers, so I've thought a lot about the link between bias in health care and maternal mortality.

Despite the alarming statistics, this book was really hard to digest. I am not a black woman so I cannot feel empathy towards people that fits this demographic. However, I was raised by a black woman who really was the example of love and sacrifice. I am in the anomaly, I had both parents with me growing up, they are still married to still day. Reading this book taught me to reflect of what Black woman go through, they are resilient and courageous. This nation goes back to slavery when white people were inferior over Blacks, and the subtle racism is still prevalent today. Although most of what I discovered in this book did not surprise me, it was still hard to read through. When you are talking about political power, how different Blacks raise children and how they are derived from the resources to aid other races..you can't help but wonder if there is ever going to be a time when we were all treated the same? There seems to be so much racist undertones in this book but the author did a good job of describing her experience as a mother.

While this book was very hard to read, I would still recommend it to not only Black women but all races who will benefit from this poignant novel.

[Erricka Hager · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just wow! Finally a book that I can relate to as a young Black mother. This book spoke to every single one of my fears as a Black mother raising a Black boy and girl in America.

The exploration of faith, community, mental health, feelings, sexuality and education was AMAZING. This book will certainly be read over and over because I’m sure I missed a LOT.

[Yasmin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read almost 100 books this year, and this hands down was the only one that I can say has expanded my capacity to believe in a better, more beautiful future. This book was gloriously written, researched and crafted with love, and came to me during a time where I was low on hope. I'm not a mother, but I have been mothered by so many black women, am approaching an age where mothering is a close possibility, but pre-2020 election and post-George Floyd, was in a deep, dark place where I felt like that work was work I could not take on, would never pass on to the next generation.

I am so, so grateful that I stumbled upon this when I did. It was a gift to my present and future selves that gave me a vision -- multiple visions -- of a livable future. This book is for black women, which I was grateful for, but I cannot recommend more highly to EVERYONE of all backgrounds -- anyone considering or currently engaged in motherwork, non-mothers looking to better understand and support the mothers around them, and any person who wants to reshape their perspective on our collective possibilities. If you believe that black women 'saved us' through voting blue, give the gift of your gratitude by reading their real, every day stories and learning about our real, beautiful, fraught lives.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been wanting to branch out on reading books from different parenting perspectives, as most of the books I've read have been written by middle class white women, and while that describes me as well I knew I would benefit from other people's perspectives. I heard McClain speak on The Double Shift Podcast, https://www.thedoubleshift.com/episod... and picked up her book from the library. Reading this definitely puts my worries about parenting in perspective. My kids and I live in a world that is very accepting of us, so consequently all my worries about parenting choices, really pale in comparison to the worries of black mothers, who at every step of the parenting journey have road blocks thrown up against them. It's a powerful and important book representing a perspective that we do not see enough in parenting books.

[Beverlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

What kind of political power do I possess? Is it a power that when aligned with other like-minded people decides who represents our interests in Washington DC? Is it a transformative power that influences my interactions with other people? Or maybe it's a power that guides one of the important roles in my lifetime as a mother? I think We Live for the We is a mixture these ideas and more. The first thing to acknowledge is that politics should not be limited to political party preferences and systems. Politics has multiple meanings (5 are listed in Merriam Webster Dictionary) and the one that is most fitting is "the total complex of relations between people living in a society". A close second is "political actions, practices, or policies". As a parent, one thing I think about constantly is what kind of world are we living in and what can I do to ensure that my son is safe. It's evident that even when supposed "rules" and laws are followed, it's no guarantee that he and I are not seen as a threat. I think this is a timely read that should engage the reader by encouraging them to think about how do we create a world where we are loved and respected. What does this place look like and what steps should be taken to create it? Dani McClain tackles several topics that mothers deal with on a regular basis, all of which center on "power, position, and protection" (3). I give this book five stars because it recognizes the power Black women have to affect change, often working with the least amount of resources. It's an acknowledgement that motherhood is not restricted to biological ties but includes those who nurture, teach, protect, and provide.
Taking a moment to think-
Should discipline be traditional (corporal) or should other means be explored? How much should children be allowed to say to their parents; is it having an opinion or being disrespectful? "These beatings were born of a fear that if, as a black parent, you did not go to great lengths to teach your child his or her place, then some white person would someday do so with much more violence and far more serious consequences. The violence inflicted by black parents on their children was born out of both love and a deep abiding fear for that child's ability to survive the American caste system that devalues black life" (41).
The promotion of marriage and nuclear family as a way out of poverty. "But unmarried black mothers and their daughters aren't lauded for holding the keys to resisting patriarchal oppression. Instead, the dominant narrative is that we're poor, draining public coffers, and so a blight on society. Some academics, politicians, and pundits seem certain of the link between poverty and remaining unmarried. But I would argue that economically stable, educated individuals tend to marry each other. They stay out of poverty because they weren't impoverished in the first place" (64).
Why assimilation is dangerous and the meaning of socialization-"but there is a fine line between surviving the world accepting it as it is. I don't want her to assimilate to the point that she loses the ability to see and challenge what is wrong around her" (80). *Author is writing in reference to her daughter*.
Education's role as an equalizer, path to middle class. 66 years after the Brown decision is this reality? What's the cost to have your child attend school in a wealthy suburban area if they are one of a few ethnic minority students? Or to have your child attend a ethnically diverse but not as wealthy school?
Why Black mothering is political and revolutionary-Cat Brooks, a community organizer based in Oakland says "our job as black mothers is to keep pushing the liberation ball down the court. Our obligation is to leave the world better for them and to ensure that they are equipped with the tools that they need to fight...we don't live for the I, we live for the we" (201).

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Finished: 05.10.2020
Genre: non-fiction
Rating: D
#AudioBook
Conclusion:

Sorry, the book sounded like a
very long lecture.
Informative but ...soporific.

[Jasmine Rollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not alone… Phew!
As a black mom of 3 black boys I struggle with constant fear and anxiety for a number of reasons.
This book appeared at a perfect time for me as I am attempting to tackle those feelings.
Not to mention Dr. McClain is a fellow Cincinnatian!

Best read of the year!!

“It feels as if there is some ancestral knowledge deep in my bones driving my desire to keep a protective bubble around my daughter for as long as I can.”

[Zahra Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love seeing books about Black motherhood on the shelves. I enjoy that in a place where it is difficult to connect with others and my family so fat away that this book provides some opportunity to engage with the thoughts and experiences of other Black mothers. However, for me, the title and description of the book is a bit misleading. The author shares a great deal of her personal experience as a Black mother and speaks for the other women whose experiences were included in the book. I was hoping to hear their stories by first account and written by them. The book offers little about the positive politics of black motherhood and has so far talked about black women having higher rates of complications and death during childbirth, fear in raising a Black child and the lack of need to raise a child in a household with a mother and father. Though I am in full agreement that a child's success is not contingent on having a heterosexual and 2 parent household, the author seems to go on to described as a patriarchal oppression. Single parenting as well as married households can both be positive environments for raising children and neither need demonizing to bring positivity to the other. In my opinion, this makes the book inaccurate and hard to read as a Black and married mother without family or community behind me I do not identify with the section about family at all. I feel thay isolation is a huge issue for mothers and particulary black mothers as our communities have been split by am attempt to assimilate into American culture.i was hoping to find accounts of Black motherhood written by the actual women as well as an unbiased view at Black motherhood embracing all facets of it in a positive light. 3 stars for courageous effort and writing on Black motherhood

[Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a new parent, I have a complicated relationship to parenting books. I want the wisdom and knowledge, but find that many authors present themselves as the only true expert with the "right" approach to parenting.
This book is satisfyingly much better. The author is relatable in her desire to do what's best for her child, drawing on what was great and not-so-great about her own growing up, as well as drawing on the wisdom and experience of other moms she admires. She presents multiple viewpoints even as she clearly marks what she wants to emulate, and where she still dances (as one of the mothers describes near the end of the book) to find what works for her and her family.
The book serves multiple levels: an overview of some of the most important current areas of concern for parents of Black children (and, honestly, all children); the personal journey about the author's particular motherhood journey; a thoughtfully-considered review of the lives of women who are both activists and mothers; and a series of profiles of role models of parent-activists. Although she doesn't shy away from the daunting nature of parenting and working toward a better world, this is one of the best books on parenting I've read.

[Colton · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author does an amazing job with interweaving personal, political, and history. Detrimental to any learning or unlearning that needs to be done.

[Ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Black mothering is a political project, and our mission—should we choose to accept it—is nothing short of revolutionary."

I chose to read this book as someone still unsure about being a mother and also as someone due to life circumstances having to deal with temporarily parenting a Black pre-teen. I always assumed as a Black mom you have to be intentional about your parenting but was never sure where one would start. This book is a great primer, both for Black women who want to be mothers (or currently are) and those who have no interest in having children but want to know how they can best love and support the Black moms and kids in their lives. I would suggest pairing this book with WHY ARE ALL THE BLACK KIDS SITTING TOGETHER IN THE CAFETERIA? because it gets into more of the nitty gritty and tough race conversations you should have with your kids at various ages. This book is more wide ranging and big picture, trailing off mostly after elementary school. There's a chapter on education but it's broad. This isn't a bad thing, just something I feel the need to point out in case others (like me) had somewhat different expectations going into the book.

McClain's journalism training is readily apparent, she refrains from judgement even when the mothers she interviews offer different perspectives from her own or other interview subjects. Although she does note her own point of view where appropriate and makes her values clear, such as when writing about the practice of spanking kids; "Still, I choose to use the word 'violence' to describe the use of physical discipline, though it feels a little dramatic. As a black mother, framing it in this way is a political choice. It's a reminder that I want my daughter to know that her body is her own, that pain at others' hands is not a natural part of life, and that no authority figure-whether it's me now or some teacher or police officer later in her life-has the right to hurt her as a way to force obedience" (39). She also has an ear for the most relevant and powerful anecdotes, we don't see the interview transcripts but it feels like McClain offers the most compelling personal stories or quips from her interviews which is appreciated. The mothers she interviews are from different parts of the country and have made different parenting choices whether by homeschooling their kids, choosing to raise their kids as a single parent, etc. There are plenty of perspectives offered that don't obscure the commonalities between each parenting journey or perspective. Aside from the interviews McClain also has a strong sense of when to bring in history and data, presenting both to strengthen or further illustrate the stories shared. She also clearly isn't interested in shaming moms for certain parenting choices they make particularly when it comes to single moms, noting "Government aren't equipped to understand all the pressures that low-income couples face. What governments areequipped to do is address poverty head on, by acknowledging and supporting people's economic and social rights. Instead, our government punishes unmarried mothers, sending the message that a husband can and should be a family's source of financial stability. Lost in the conversation connecting low marriage rates and poverty is the impact low-wage work has on black families" (67).

WE LIVE FOR THE WE makes the very effective argument that for Black mothers parenting is political and that Black moms (and those who love them) need to unleash their political power in order to raise happy, healthy and protected Black children. There are a few missing topics that I thought would have been important to touch upon, such as the differences in raising Black boys vs girls or non binary children as well as how to navigate the various stages of the education system, the inclusion of these could have added new insight and depth to the book. In my opinion the book's best chapters focus on pregnancy and the early stages of childhood development so it's especially helpful for new or aspiring Black moms. This is an excellent entry point for those looking to learn more about Black motherhood, the writing is poignant and accessible, the interview subjects fascinating and the research impeccably laid out. I look forward to following McClain's reporting and reading any other books she chooses to write.

Other favorite lines:
"Black mothers advocate for our children everywhere, from the playground to the schoolhouse to the doctor's office. There is always a campaign to wage. There is always a need to make our children's humanity more visible and to convince, cajole or pressure someone who's making our lives more difficult because of their own blind spots or racist impulses." (202)

"I think the most important dividing line today is between those who believe our greatest resource is our imagination and those who think unbridled imaginations are dangerous, a threat to existing ways of organizing power." (228)

[Roan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this. I was expecting more history and political context; there was some of that, combined with the author’s personal experience, reflections on early motherhood, hopes and expectations for the future. This personal narrative made for a very readable and likable text that was also specific to the experience of being middle/professional class, having an involved (though not cohabitating) coparent, and having one (young) child. This is not the way most people in the US experience parenting- which the author acknowledges.

I appreciate/share a lot of Dani McClain’s politics and values and enjoyed reading her thoughts on family, education, mothering, belonging, sex ed, spirituality, and movement-building. An early chapter was drawn from her very good 2017 article in The Nation about birth outcome disparities for black women and the impact of systemic racism and medical bias. She interviewed several other black mothers and includes snippets throughout the book of their stories of organizing, family building, finding (and starting) schools with strong academics AND social/cultural/spiritual support for black kids.

This book fills a very important niche that shouldn’t be a niche - parenting books geared towards black families. Much of the book is concerned with questions of how to support black kids’ psychic freedom in a society shaped and dictated by white supremacy. McClain thoughtfully explores the way blackness shapes some common parenting questions that are very whitewashed in mainstream narratives: what school environment will my kids thrive in? Where/how do I find and build community? What family structure best supports kids? How do get the best birth and prenatal care? What kind of discipline to use? What is a healthy relationship to and distribution of home/domestic labor? What does it mean to balance my family’s needs with the needs of a collective? McClain offers different perspectives and resists easy/pat answers.

The book really shines where it combines personal narrative with history and research, like in the chapter on school that explores the history of Detroit Summer and other liberation-based programs. I loved the connection-making between the author’s family and history/broader context. I enjoyed the broad brush strokes, and also craved a deeper dive into some of the topics the book raises.

[Pretty_x_bookish · Rating 4 out of 5]

|| We Live for the We: The Political Power of Black Motherhood x Dani McClain (3,5⭐️) ||


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|| “Many black parents question and have mixed feelings about passing on the values of a society that says…”We do not value black men and women, boys and girls, as much as we do whites…” ||


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|| This book is an eye opener for me as someone who doesn’t have kids yet, but I plan on having them at some point. Dani McClain goes really highlights the challenges/complexities if raising black girl children in a world that continually undervalues them. She shows how parenting at the margins requires a lot more thought and attention to actively engaging with your child’s environment. The dominant narrative around parenting and especially motherhood is distinctly western and white. Very often the circumstances around which women of colour - and other minority groups - raise children is completely overlooked. This book starts to peel back the curtain and show just how distinct the experience of parents of color are in a dominantly white society ||


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|| I never really thought about how important it was growing up, that my parents made it necessary that my brother and I had a tangible relationship with the spaces and places where they grew up. We were raised in white suburbia - so that spacial link to our Xhosa heritage gave us a sense of belonging and rootedness that would have been lost had we just been kids who were born and bred in the heart of white society. Thinking about it now, I see how my parents had constantly straddle the line between integrating us into the dominant society - and giving is the tools to thrive there - while also making sure that our link to our culture was cultivated. It was a constant balancing act - that I don’t think I ever really thought about before reading this book ||

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|| This book definitely gave me something to think about….You can tell that the writer did her research and consulted other black mothers on their experiences - which added a relatability to the book. I especially found the chapter of ‘School’ to be an interesting read. ||


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|| I would be interested to read a similar book from a South African perspective....would be very interesting ||

[Tibby]

I loved this book. It was exactly the kind of book I was looking for when I first became a mother and I wish I had had it then.

I know as a white middle class stay at home mom I'm supposed to connect with the majority of the literature (fiction and nonfiction) published about motherhood. I am supposed to connect with other white middle class stay at home moms at the park. But I don't. It all felt so empty and disconnected from the things I was feeling. Sure, there were aspects of it that I understood, McClain says as much for herself too. And there's nothing wrong with those books and accounts, it's just not what I was looking for. But I also didn't know what I was looking for. Turns out it's a lot of what McClain discusses.

The format of the book with each chapter about a different aspect of mothering was brilliant. The different topics do overlap, but she's broken them out in a way that makes a lot of sense- passing on spirituality, what schooling to choose, where to live and why, how to be a mother doing movement work, etc. She tells the story of being a Black mother more broadly through the various issues she grapples with as her own daughter grows. McClain covers topics and issues that because I am white I won't have to deal with. I worry that my daughters will be the victims of sexual violence, but I don't worry that their humanity will be invisible or denied and that they'll be killed for it.

Still McClain is so thoughtful about how she approaches each of these challenges of mothering. She's so intentional about the decisions she makes. She's also open to change. She consults lots of other mothers positioned similarly and differently than herself to get perspective. This is what I was looking for in discussions of motherhood and I felt a lot more connected to this book than any others I have read.

I would also love a second book about how she has parented in the intervening years. This was published in 2018 and her daughter was only 2. I wonder what decisions she has stuck with and which have changed and why. I wonder what new challenges she has looked at and thought about.

[Herbie]

There's a fundamental way in which most parenting books are oriented. They address how to get the best for your child and sort of ignore all the context that occurs around child-rearing: society, race, class, culture, sexism. This kind of approach is how well-meaning people become dream hoarders, I think. Everybody optimizing for their own progeny is not how we create a better world.

So I'm interested in the project of this book, maybe more than I'm interested in the book itself. I read a few chapters. There's a discussion of the "absent father" and how this phenomena has been racialized. White fathers are often quite absent, in the sense that they are doing no child-rearing work; they are just still married to their spouses so we consider them present. The stereotype of the black absent father is an unfair racial stereotype. This isn't a shocker, but wasn't something I had thought about before. I liked that part a lot. There were other parts -- about racial disparities in giving birth, for instance -- that I felt like were covering well worn (for me) ground and that I felt like skimming.

I abandoned this book for now, but maybe I'll pick it back up again later.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic listen. While it may seem that the audience is other Black mothers like the author, I'd argue that many of the points McClain makes are relevant to anyone who is a mother or has a role in a child's life. McClain gives insights into the tough choices facing Black mothers and the difficulty of raising a girl-child in ways that avoid exposing her to bias. She talks about the books that are read (and having to change the gender of characters to let women have the same possibilities as men), choosing schools, deciding how to engage in activism while making time for her child, and the important role of family in raising Black children. She also addresses the very real health risks that occur when you're trying to become a mother and you're Black (high maternal mortality rates, medical providers who think you don't feel pain, lack of clear information, etc.). It was a great and quick listen. Highly recommend for anyone who wants to better understand the difficult choices facing Black mothers who are trying to do the right thing.

[L.C. Fiore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dani McClain is a professional writer: with clear, polished prose she offers an honest and personal examination of what it means to be a black mother in America today. Here, the personal becomes universal, as she uses the questions she's faced as a new parent to explore the good and bad aspects of American society. The chapters on "School" and "Spirit" especially stood out; the gems offered up in these sections cross racial and social boundaries. I'm glad to have read this book. Anything that makes us more empathetic, that introduces us to perspectives other than our own, that forces us to see the humanity in our neighbor, is worth the time.

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through the Amazon Vine program in exchange for an honest review.

This is a great book!

McClain dives into her experience as a Black mother and the institutional and social barriers in place.

McClain highlights the development of her daughter and examines her parenting style for inclusion and how to discipline. She talks about how our healthcare and educational systems treat Black women even before they're pregnant and how so many women are put at risk because of racist foundations.

It's a very informative and thoughtful read filled with research and grounded in the author's own life.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fairly new mother to a little black boy, I must say that this book helped me understand just how important the decisions we make as mothers have a profound impact on the lives of our children. The interviews conducted by the writer were so insightful and I enjoyed reading the varying opinions of others on how to look at things from education to the role of religion and spirituality. I’ve never read a book like this before and I truly enjoyed it and all the things I’ve learned in reading it.

[The Atlantic]

"Dani McClain’s work is notable for its vulnerability. She weaves together research, conversations with activists, and her personal experience of raising a Black daughter. McClain doesn’t provide us with pat answers, but she offers a wealth of perspectives that broaden our definitions of motherhood and family before returning her focus to what we can control." — Taylor Harris

https://www.theatlantic.com/books/arc...

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

McClain's journey of thought is a gift for everyone, mother or not, Black or not. She so openly shares her worries, hopes, and decisions as the mother of a Black child, who has the full understanding of what that means for her girl historically, systemically, and spiritually. She thinks about how to intentionally create community and how to be an activist while also centering identity and family. We Live For the We is about collective power and disrupting/rejecting harmful narratives to make space for a future where everyone gets to be a little more free, and more fully humanized.

[Tamara Pierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely LOVED this book!
As a new mom, this is definitely a read I plan to re-read & go back to from time to time. Dani McClain for sure took her time to write this, and it shows for sure.

Dani McClain definitely gave language/answers to questions that I have as I embark on this journey of motherhood. She even worded perfectly answers I’ve wanted to give, yet couldn’t find the right words to express.

Thank you Dani, for sharing such a sacred journey of motherhood.

[Tori Hinde · Rating 4 out of 5]

This deeply personal book explored key aspects of black motherhood through the author’s experience parenting her 2 year old in Cincinnati and extensive research. McClain’s own stories and experiences were the highlight of the book for me. Her writing was very approachable rather than academic and gave me a lot to think about.