Welcome to JesusLand! (Formerly the United States of America): Shocking Tales of Depravity, Sex, and Sin Uncovered by God's Favorite Church, Landover Baptist

by Chris Harper, Andrew Bradley, Erik Walker

In the sacred and honorable tradition of The Onion comes a hilarious and outrageous collection of "church newsletters" that gleefully skewer America's religious right.
The Godly ministers at Landover Baptist Church (Guaranteeing Salvation Since 1612!) have been sending out their newsletters for years, helping save those headed for damnation from falling into the devil's clutches. Making sure that no Christian is left behind, and that all non-believers burn in Hell, Pastor Deacon Fred and his band of merry white preachers share such righteous wisdom as "How children can win a Playstation 3 by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal savior" and "How to prevent Santa from turning Macy's into Neverland Ranch."
Complete with Bible Quizzes, Sacrilegious Sidebars, and mug shots of America's damned, WELCOME TO JESUSLAND! is sure to become a classic of religious and political humor-while cleansing heathens from the Earth (or at least from those pesky Blue States).

Genres: Religion, Humor, Fiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published September 12, 2006

Reviews

[Kimmie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The format reminded me a lot of The Onion books or America: The Book. It was short satirical articals and fake ads. Some of them were really funny but because the book is all about the same topic- it was sometimes repetitive. If you like satire or stuff The Onion does- it is similarly enjoyable.

[Winston Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Landover Baptist. I can't get enough of their biblically accurate policies, facilities (you have GOT to take your kids to the Hell House one day. God never mentioned the exact age of accountability in his holy writ, after all) quizzes and sample essays from the most pious among us.

In this book you will find:

- How Landover Baptist got started (and why it is the ONLY true church)
- Exactly how much god values fetuses, women, men and children
- Who's more bloodthirsty? Yahweh or Allah?
- Why a budding novelist garnered an A on a religious essay on redemption and sin
- Why atheists, agnostic and other pagan heathens really do send themselves to eternal torture (masochistic satisfaction NOT included)
- How surgery can prevent irritating homosexual lisping
- Landover Baptist's latest reading recommendations, including one on how to tell your little eight-year-old daughter that her unbelieving grandmother is food for charcoal!

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!

Reserve your copy today, save money AND your soul! No more meaningless, superfluous and irrelevant genealogies that include dozens of insignificant Israelites (most of whom were destined for eternal hellfire anyway!)

[Mr I D Lodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny parody

On the nose parody of evangelical god-bothering idiots who pick and choose the convenient bits of the bible so they can hate and look down on everyone who don’t share their ridiculous nonsensical beliefs.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favorite part of this Was the Bible quizzes, most of which I could answer because I know the Bible pretty well, but I like how they they were able to shock the reader with so many horrible verses,and I'm sure they surprised a lot of people who don't know the Bible well.This book mocking fundamentalist Christianity gave some good laughs and certainly exposed the weaknesses among Christian churches and attitudes. But a lot of it served to make me angry instead of amused. At times felt it was a little too hateful, it really pulled no punches and missed no opportunities for ridicule. Sometimes it was almost too much, other times it was hilarious. I think it's a book that you need to take time reading, reading a little at a time over days or weeks, or the mean-spiritedness of it is just too much.

[Baal Of · Rating 4 out of 5]

Consistently amusing, over-the-top, Biblical based (with specific verses listed) spoof of fundamentalist opinion. The scary thing is, that as extreme as the parody is, it's really not that far off from what real Christians actually say on a regular basis. Not the sort of book to sit down and read cover to cover, but it made great and appropriate bathroom reading.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny work of satire. The subject matter was American right-wing Christianity. Very over the top and excellent in terms of using the absurdities and hypocrisy of fundamentalist Christianity against itself.

[T. Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great bathroom reading, as the book is divided into monthly newsletters with short articles, illustrations, and sidebars. Satirical skewering of evangelical Christianity in particular and religion in general.

[Bryan Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Supposedly written about the Landover Baptist Church, the book makes fun of evangelicals and their preachings. Most of the book is funny, though some of the humor is a bit obvious. A perfect companion for the bathroom as you await the outcome.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disturbingly funny!

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book. It reminded me of Glass Castle

[Peacegal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's a collection of over-the-top humor from the satiric website LandoverBaptist.org. Buy a copy for your fundie relatives..or not.