The Changeling

by Gail Gallant

In this haunting memoir, Gail Gallant recounts her unbelievable life as a changeling, a child born to replace another.

When Gail Gallant was five months old, she died. A year later, she was reborn. Or so her mother said.

The crash occurred on a July night in 1955. The truck hit the Gallant family's car head-on; a few weeks later, newborn baby Gail died from her injuries. Mad with grief, her mother prayed feverishly for Gail's return, convinced that God would bring her child back to her. And when she gave birth within a year to a baby girl who looked identical to her lost child, she believed her prayers had been answered.

She named that newborn baby Gail.

In this haunting memoir about having and losing faith, Gail Gallant recounts her awe-inspiring true story of life as a changeling--a child born to replace her deceased baby sister. A middle child in a large Catholic family, Gail embraced the belief that she was especially anointed, a status that was reinforced by her stern, devout mother and distant, hard-drinking father. Babies sometimes die, after all, but she was the one that God had chosen to bring back to life.

Eventually, this special status--the feeling that she had been singled out by God, and just as importantly, by her mother--became a source of secret anxiety for Gail. Doubt began to cast its shadow. As she grew up, questions plagued her: Why did God save her? What did he want in return? And what if she couldn't live up to his--or her mother's--expectations? What if she wasn't so special after all? Or worse, what if she was a mere imposter, only pretending to be the first Gail, whose life she now lived?

For this changeling child with a tortured soul, finding her own identity meant wrestling with sainthood and sin alike. As she rewrote her origin story, Gail battled blinding depression and loss of faith. Ultimately, she discovered her own sense of what is extraordinary in becoming simply herself.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

272 pages, Paperback

Published March 26, 2019

About the author

I have written a memoir called THE CHANGELING (2019) about being haunted all my life by the death of my sister the year before I was born. My mother believed I was her lost daughter, returned from the dead by God, and so I believed it too. Until I began to question it, and her, and God and myself.

I've also written two paranormal thrillers about Amelia Mackenzie, a supernatural sleuth in training. Like a crime detective, solving ghost crimes. But she's also a teenage girl with boy issues, big time. APPARITION came out in September of 2013, and its sequel ABSOLUTION is coming out in Fall of 2014. I blog about things related to my books and ghosts in general at http://gailgallant.com
and my Facebook page is www.Facebook.com/GailGallantBooks

I've worked in factual television for many years, current affairs and documentaries, as a producer, director, story editor and writer. I live in Grey County, Ontario, in a very old stone farmhouse.

Reviews

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a changeling, switched at birth with a baby who had died. Torn between my two identities, I was neither. I was no one.

What a sadly compelling story Gail Gallant shares in her memoir My Life as a Changeling: After Gallant's parents lost the youngest of their three daughters, Gail, in a road accident, her devoutly Catholic mother begged God to send her back to them. When another baby girl was born the following year – with all the same features and attended by a pain-free birth – her mother declared it a miracle and named this infant “Gail” as well. Eventually giving birth to three more children, the busy mother's attention and affection were hard to come by, but as the “miracle baby”, Gail enjoyed her special place in the family's mythology – until she grew older and realised the psychological toll this otherness, this “changeling” role, had taken upon her. Gail Gallant's story isn't of some extraordinary life meant to enthrall or entertain the reader, but her experiences are just unusual enough to have expanded my notion of what a life can look like; and that's a good reading experience to me. (Note: I read an ARC and quotes may not be in their final forms.)

I began to see a psychiatrist. For the first time ever, I started to really think about the role the other Gail had played in my life. The circumstances of my birth had always made me feel special. At the same time, though, I felt as if I had to do something special to deserve this miracle. I had to make up for the family tragedy. Pay the debt.

My own mother – from Prince Edward Island like the author – was meant to be named Maggie until my grandparents' best friends lost their infant daughter, Brenda, to some epidemic, and in honour of her, my mother was christened with the name “Brenda” as well; at no time, however, was it suggested that my mother was that same wee soul sent back to Earth (yet now I wonder what effect this tossed-off story actually had on her child's mind?) By contrast, Gail Gallant was told that she was the return of the dead Gail, and she began to worry why God had answered her mother's prayers when children died (and stayed dead) all the time; what purpose did God have for her? She became particularly pious (which earned her some degree of approval from her cold mother), but young Gail was terrified that the Virgin Mary would appear to her and assign her some dangerous task suited to the saints and martyrs that she learned about. She began to experience a duality in her personality – Gail believed that other Gail lived under her bed – and she became so adept at projecting one face (the pious) while hiding her true one (the terrified), that she embarked on a life in which no one ever saw the “real Gail”. As she details her entire life story, this duality had repercussions for her in school, at work, and in her personal relationships. And through it all, her mother remained cold and her father remained distant; this is not the story of a happy life.

All my life, you have been my dead sister. They named me after you. I am so much like you, if you'd been born later, they'd have named you after me. But you are more real than I have ever been. Admit it. You are Gail. I am only the “other Gail”.

I find it intriguing that Gallant has successfully harnessed her early dread of/fascination with the supernatural – she has written a couple of YA books around hauntings – and I appreciate the thoughtfulness and reflection she has put into this memoir. Maybe not of wide appeal, but I am pleased to have learned of Gallant's unusual origins.

[Sheila Tucker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a captivating story, and quite unique. A baby born to replace one that died, and given the same name? I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel growing up with a religious mother who believed I was her previous baby given back by God, and I can't. However, this is not the only element - the writer's teen and adult years are equally fascinating. The book was, for me, relatable in many ways, for Ms. Gallant reveals her most private feelings throughout and I really "got it" about her school days and dating years. Poignant and well-paced, The Changeling is a coming-of-age memoir and I read it in just a few days - I couldn't put it down.

[Claudia Rynkowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I began this book with a strong interest in the psychological aspect of Gail’s story and a slight reluctance towards the religious and spiritual ones. It turns out that they are all enmeshed in this memoir, and it was a pleasure to read. Most of the memoirs I’ve read happen to be very heavy in context (and leave me feeling quite disturbed afterwards), but Gail’s story has just as many ups as it has downs.

The author recounts her life as a replacement child with beautiful brevity.

[Darlene Stericker · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Changeling is a wonderful book about a long journey of psychological self discovery and the unwinding of a problem caused by the grief of Gallant's parents.

[Nathaniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compelling in a rare way, The Changeling is a book I won’t soon forget.

[Margie Buttignol]

A head on car crash killed a 5 month old baby named Gail-Marie Gallant. This book of raw and penetrating disclosure, illustrates how this event changed the Gallant family forever. Baby Gail returns to life a year later (or so her Mother claimed) and the author writes how she, the second baby Gail, returned as a changeling struggling to examine and place herself in all of this, her family and her world.
A gripping book. Eloquently and honestly written.

[mara · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars - it was definitely unique! and it definitely wasn’t bad. the writing was very strong but it didn’t offer much other than an interesting story. the feelings gail had were interesting and insightful but the actual novel was longer than it needed to be and offered nothing. i read it and once i finished it i thought “that’s it?” it felt like there was no point to the book. maybe it just went over my head but other than a charming novel that tugs at the heartstrings with some relatable (and also some very non-relatable) anecdotes, it didn’t really offer any meaning or satisfaction once i finished it.

[Steph M · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fascinating tale, The Changeling had me absolutely captivated from the moment I read the back.
Having been raised to believe she was the reincarnation of her deceased sister, in an extremely religious family, Gail speaks about her struggles with severe depression and anxiety, her waning belief in god, the ghost of her former self, and her internal conflict and coming to terms that she may not be a divine being as she once believed.

Excellent read - 4/5

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I squint, half of the book was about the author being a changeling and it's repercussions. This half was crazy (sad? evil? terrifying?) eye opening about the damage parents could do to their children.
The other half was a memoir like any other memoir. Although sometimes it read like a novel (in a good way). Story aside it was a very well written book.

[Ann Peachman Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir, Gail Gallant tells the bizarre story of her family. Severely injured in a car accident, her younger sister died as a family tragedy. Ten months later, she was born and given the same name, a replacement for “the other Gail.” The story tells of her journey and how this bizarre treatment affected her.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I squint, half of the book was about the author being a changeling and it's repercussions. This half was crazy (sad? evil? terrifying?) eye opening about the damage parents could do to their children.
The other half was a memoir like any other memoir. Although sometimes it read like a novel (in a good way). Story aside it was a very well written book.

[Child960801 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up at the library because the cover was so intriguing and then I just blew through it. As a parent, reading stories of people's unhappy childhoods makes me so sad. I wanted to reach through the pages and give her a hug.

Gail was born to replace her dead sister, and that had a long lasting, deep impact on her life.

Content warning: child death, abusive relationships, cancer

[Johanny Moreno · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinated real life story. Once I started reading it, I could not put it down.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t find the story interesting largely because of the prose... it just didn’t draw me in.

[Amanda Cox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting life, but sometimes hard to read about somebody making decisions to do something that is obviously a mistake.

[Shelly Steffler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, the stories we tell ourselves as children! I've often remember my own - some fondly, some... not as much. A great read!

[Tay Gard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart Wrenching.
To think this all happened close to home here in Canada.

[Kim Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen to the audiobook very good 👍 made me cry 😢 and laugh