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More Love Less Conflict: A Communication Playbook for Couples
The pace of modern life leaves little time to truly connect with our partners, yet the need for good communication is greater than ever before. This book of strategies will teach you how to communicate effectively through structured practices. You’ll learn simple ways to keep the lines of communication open, become a better listener, understand and avoid your own and your partner’s triggers, and solve common problems. The methods in this book will help you to build your communication skills in a safe and deliberate way. Once your communication muscle is strong, you will have the ability to handle almost any situation. Your relationship will be filled with more intimacy and connection and less frustration and arguments.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 1, 2018
About the author
Jonathan Robinson
19 books6 followersJonathan Robinson, M.A., M.F.T., is a psychotherapist, bestselling author of 14 books, and professional speaker based in Northern California.
His work focuses on simple, practical tools for greater happiness, emotional healing, and spiritual growth. His books have reached over 200 million readers worldwide and have been translated into 47 languages.
Jonathan’s latest book, The Enlightenment Project: How I Went From Depressed to Blessed, and You Can Too, shares powerful insights drawn from interviews with over 100 spiritual teachers including the Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, and Mother Teresa.
Over the years, Jonathan has appeared on programs such as The Oprah Show, CNN, and numerous national television talk shows, sharing practical strategies for living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
He has also spoken to organizations including Microsoft, IBM, Coca-Cola, and Google, where he is known for delivering engaging, practical, and immediately usable insights.
Jonathan is the co-host of the podcast Awareness Explorers.
To learn more, visit his website and download a free ebook on simple ways to experience greater peace and clarity in daily life.
His work focuses on simple, practical tools for greater happiness, emotional healing, and spiritual growth. His books have reached over 200 million readers worldwide and have been translated into 47 languages.
Jonathan’s latest book, The Enlightenment Project: How I Went From Depressed to Blessed, and You Can Too, shares powerful insights drawn from interviews with over 100 spiritual teachers including the Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, and Mother Teresa.
Over the years, Jonathan has appeared on programs such as The Oprah Show, CNN, and numerous national television talk shows, sharing practical strategies for living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
He has also spoken to organizations including Microsoft, IBM, Coca-Cola, and Google, where he is known for delivering engaging, practical, and immediately usable insights.
Jonathan is the co-host of the podcast Awareness Explorers.
To learn more, visit his website and download a free ebook on simple ways to experience greater peace and clarity in daily life.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 31, 2022
I just want to say that i wish i did read this book before getting divorced.
I will actually share this book with our asshole family consultant that never tried even one technique from that book !
I have loved this book so mush.
Starting by:
1- describing the levels of communication and their differences (informational, personal, relational).
2- the acts that are taken when it comes to stress situation #FFF (fight, flee, freeze)
3- the three keys that we always tend to have in a relationship: #CUE (care, understand,empathy).
4-the #DDDD(denial, dismissle, distraction,denigration)that stops us from achieving the #CUE.
5- The 5 magical questions to ask ur self when it comes to a conflict. (What is the story i imagine , what i feel , what i want , what my partner would think abt it , how to contribute in a better way)
6- the magic word that made jonathan fly 60000 miles from home to hear (thank you in your heart 24/7)
7- the curiosity pattern (asking questions)
8- pushing triggers and buttons (rehab to attenuate the triggers point, and find positive buttons to push instead of negatives)
9- the questions game.
10- shared pleasure (list activities that make u fee happy and revealed, share it with ur partner...)
11- the guru and the student game (to better get the advices from others).
12- yellow and red lights (the breaks for not falling down)...
Too many tools you can learn from this 📚.
I really love it, i wish i have read this before.
But i will surely use these tools in my second marriage (if it happens).
I will actually share this book with our asshole family consultant that never tried even one technique from that book !
I have loved this book so mush.
Starting by:
1- describing the levels of communication and their differences (informational, personal, relational).
2- the acts that are taken when it comes to stress situation #FFF (fight, flee, freeze)
3- the three keys that we always tend to have in a relationship: #CUE (care, understand,empathy).
4-the #DDDD(denial, dismissle, distraction,denigration)that stops us from achieving the #CUE.
5- The 5 magical questions to ask ur self when it comes to a conflict. (What is the story i imagine , what i feel , what i want , what my partner would think abt it , how to contribute in a better way)
6- the magic word that made jonathan fly 60000 miles from home to hear (thank you in your heart 24/7)
7- the curiosity pattern (asking questions)
8- pushing triggers and buttons (rehab to attenuate the triggers point, and find positive buttons to push instead of negatives)
9- the questions game.
10- shared pleasure (list activities that make u fee happy and revealed, share it with ur partner...)
11- the guru and the student game (to better get the advices from others).
12- yellow and red lights (the breaks for not falling down)...
Too many tools you can learn from this 📚.
I really love it, i wish i have read this before.
But i will surely use these tools in my second marriage (if it happens).
March 15, 2024
some solid, helpful techniques
written really tackily. he spends the first chunk of the book defending the book and talking himself, the book, and the concepts up.
rant warning -
half way through the book he remembers gay people exist
tells some wild stories that some how relate to his points, very hard to believe.
this book would have been a lot better if it was the same concepts (but only the genuine ones), same chapter distribution, but less him trying to sell me on the concepts. i’m reading the book. i trust you already.
i did not really remember enough of the techniques to use them, but i did come up with a technique of my own recently in my relationship and it make me think back to this book.
written really tackily. he spends the first chunk of the book defending the book and talking himself, the book, and the concepts up.
rant warning -
half way through the book he remembers gay people exist
tells some wild stories that some how relate to his points, very hard to believe.
this book would have been a lot better if it was the same concepts (but only the genuine ones), same chapter distribution, but less him trying to sell me on the concepts. i’m reading the book. i trust you already.
i did not really remember enough of the techniques to use them, but i did come up with a technique of my own recently in my relationship and it make me think back to this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 10, 2018
Highly recommended for couples seeking therapy, but don't want to go see someone yet. I read this 2 years ago as a single person hoping to simply learn basic communication skills. It was somewhat helpful (3 stars). I wasn't overwhelmed by the usefulness of the author's advice. However, now that I'm engaged, I am finding plentiful opportunities to apply his marriage counseling advice. Here are a few bits of advice:
1. Deep down, the author believes that everyone needs CUE — Caring, Understanding, and Empathy.
2. Breakdown misunderstandings in communication by verbalizing what's going on in your mind when you apply meaning to what others say and do. For example, you might say, "when I see you grimace when I make quick decisions, the story I'm telling myself is that you think I'm foolish because I'm not thinking things through."
3. Let go of the "scarcity" mentality. Simply focus on being grateful. For example, instead of saying "that's it?!" could be replaced with "thank you." This quiets and opens the mind.
1. Deep down, the author believes that everyone needs CUE — Caring, Understanding, and Empathy.
2. Breakdown misunderstandings in communication by verbalizing what's going on in your mind when you apply meaning to what others say and do. For example, you might say, "when I see you grimace when I make quick decisions, the story I'm telling myself is that you think I'm foolish because I'm not thinking things through."
3. Let go of the "scarcity" mentality. Simply focus on being grateful. For example, instead of saying "that's it?!" could be replaced with "thank you." This quiets and opens the mind.
July 7, 2018
I probably shouldn't bother to listen to these kind of books if I'm not going to be diligent about actually doing the exercises. Still, I jotted a few notes down and so hopefully I'll get a little better at communicating.
P.S. If you're trying to save your marriage I'm sure the ideas in this book would be worth a try. And for the opposite approach you might try How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words.
P.S. If you're trying to save your marriage I'm sure the ideas in this book would be worth a try. And for the opposite approach you might try How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words.
March 4, 2019
I really like this book & found it to be a gift from God On how to communicate not only with my spouse but with others as well. I really enjoyed reading this book on the Valentine holiday. It let me know how to listen, show & better communicate love to Marty, my family & others. Some of these activities can also be used at work as well. Available for free on Overdrive app (app of Utah’s libraries. On audio too there.
August 21, 2018
I’m always down for a book that can help me improve my marriage. This book was full of lots of communication exercises that not only help resolve conflict, but that help couples draw closer to each other. I will probably order the paper version so I can have a better reference for using them with my spouse.
April 26, 2019
Some good tips and ideas. I'm not likely to go recommending this book to anyone, but I wouldn't discourage someone from reading it either.
More of a strategies book than a fundamental way of being book. Some of it feels like he's simply re-packaged information from real researchers and given it a slightly different presentation. Sometimes that's what people need though so, not all bad.
More of a strategies book than a fundamental way of being book. Some of it feels like he's simply re-packaged information from real researchers and given it a slightly different presentation. Sometimes that's what people need though so, not all bad.
September 12, 2020
I really liked this book. I feel like most relationship-oriented books that I read focus on a "big truth", and then extrapolate off of it. This book is a collection of communication tactics that couples (or even individuals) can use to remove communication blockage, resolve arguments, and increase closeness. I've been looking for something like this for awhile.
June 20, 2018
This book offers many useful communication exercises. It also gives examples which are helpful.
September 22, 2018
I loved how you could pick out what exercises you want to do. They worked great for us.
January 13, 2022
A good collection of communication tactics. This is nice because it offers different options for things to try when communication is failing.
June 3, 2022
3.5 stars. Some helpful stuff. Kind of sexist and simplistic which was annoying
January 9, 2024
Really enjoyed the different methods in this book!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews