The Very Ineffective Haunted House

by Jeff Burk

"Like Lloyd Kaufman and Sam Raimi's mutant offspring." -Wil Wheaton "Reminiscent of a modern William Faulkner." -Lloyd Kaufman, President of Troma Entertainment and creator of The Toxic Avenger

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror

140 pages, Paperback

First published May 29, 2018

About the author

Jeff Burk lives in Portland, OR where he edits the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. He writes Bizarro fiction and is the author of Shatnerquake.

Reviews

[Danger]

A fun collection of short fiction that nestles in the delicate place between humor and horror, playing with and subverting genre tropes left and right. Easy, enjoyable reading.

[Frank]

I read an ARC of Jeff Burk's The Very Ineffective Haunted House. I've been long anticipating new work from Jeff Burk and he made it worth the wait for the most part. There are some pieces in this collection that I'd read in other releases but for the most part this is all new stuff sort of reminiscent of Cripple Wolf but a tad less dark.
The titular story is a gas. It presents a unique story PIC that is all Jeff Burk. There are some other cool pieces like poems and such that make this collection a must read treasure.
This is a great book for fans of Burk's writing as,well as those looking for a place to start with the writer. Most people associate Jeff Burk for Shatnerquaker, but this collection is far more representative of his capabilities. This is a short story collection you'll not be disappointed in.

[John The Crippledgimp]

First time reading this author and another that I will definitely read more of. I enjoyed this book of stories. Every story in this collection was just awesome. Jeff Burk writes some really off the wall awesome shit. This collection really has something for everyone. Some stories were bizarre some were creepy and some just made me laugh. This book was honestly a really fun read for me with plenty of what the fuck moments that usually ended with me laughing which also makes me wonder what that says about me. I recommend this for a quick run read also it was really cool at the end of this book he gives some insight to each story in the book which was awesome.

[Seb]

What the hell was that? 😆

This is a real melting-pot of anything, from classic horror to bizarro to cute tales to monster erotica...

Some stories I liked, some others not that much, but overall I enjoyed it and got some good laughs 🙃

AH and also, I want to never have inkers at home. Ever.

[Ryan]

Exactly what I want from Bizarro. Fun stories that are more silly than they are horror (which is no surprise if you know my tastes).

Burk plays a ton off of pop culture and twists these modern devices into stories, poems, and essays that are just wholly enjoyable. Taking a look at everything from Pokemon to clickbait articles to unpacking videos to GG Allin, they're quick reads.

I read the eBook, Kindle version which contained a handful of editing errors, but nothing that took away from the book as a whole. Definitely would recommend this.

[Josh Warfel]

The right dose of bizarro to have a wonderful time. Each story is unique and intriguing enough to keep wanting one more .

I sat with a stupid smile on my face the entire time reading it.

[Horror Bookworm Reviews]

The Very Ineffective Haunted House holds many pleasant literary surprises including a tasty morsel from the Clickers Mythos which the reader can chew on...literally. Along with his illustrations, take a romp through the innovative mind of Jeff Burk as he provides anecdotes that read to the point of interactive enjoyability for the bibliophile, much like a controlled sneeze. Five Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Nicole]

Ever read a story that makes you want to scream, kick, flail and curse at the author, but then shake his or her hand because, how perfect?! Yeah, The Window Shouldn't Be There was like that for me. So from giving me convulsions, to making me laugh (The Dog Who Stared) to giving me that, "brain scooped out of my head, what the hell did I just read?!" feeling (I've Seen Enough Hentai To Know What Happens Next and Hipster Hunter.) this was the most fun I've had reading all year. And a bonus, if you enjoy the behind the scenes feeling, there is a section about the authors inspiration for the featuring stories.

[Billy]

It is impossible to pick a favorite among the stories in this book, strange and incredibly stupid as they all are. It takes talent to make a story so dumb yet so touching as the titular story or "I've Seen Enough Hentai to Know where This is Going." And then there are "The Window Shouldn't be There" and "The Dog Who Stared" with their genuine, if mild, creepy factor. The explanations for the inspirations for each story at the end of the book is a nice touch and gives more insight into understanding the stories. The Clash Press paperback version is admittedly severely in bed of a good copy editor, but if you can get passed that this is a great little collection.

[Christian]

2019 Splatterpunk Award Nominee for Best Collection

First time reading any of Jeff's work. Two stories really stood out for me, "Ten Secrets to Survival Clickers Don't Want You to Know - They Really Hate Number Six" and “How I Got A MY LITTLE PONY Tattoo”. They made me laugh out loud a number of times. Brilliant. The rest were just okay.

[Brett Grossmann]

I happen to facebook know the author. My knowledge of his day to day and his life...effected my review. The stories effected me more than the written word may have... without prior contact. The stories are fun. Three star worthy for sure. I tossed another star his way cause of my association....