Three-Martini Family Vacation: A Field Guide to Intrepid Parenting

by Christie Mellor

Chill the glasses! The author of the wildly successful Three-Martini Playdate is back with more irreverent and useful advice about life with children. Wickedly funny essays offer helpful advice on harnessing the energy of on vacation, out to dinner, even just when grandmother stops by for a visit. Parents will relearn the art of traveling, socializing, and eating out like adults . . . sometimes with well-behaved children in tow. In dozens of short, kicky chapters like Cocktail Actually for Grown-ups! and The Theme Park A Last Resort, Christie Mellor gently reminds parents that family vacations can truly be fun.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Humor, Family

144 pages, Paperback

First published May 3, 2007

About the author

Author of The Three-Martini Playdate, Fun Without Dick & Jane, three other books and a few screenplays, SAG/ATRA member and former working actor, singer of Depression-era and original songs with Doozy (in Los Angeles), and lifelong self-taught artist. Born & raised in San Francisco, lived many years in Los Angeles, then painted in a small kitchen in New York City, now painting on another small island somewhere.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author seems to really hate children in general and most of their parents. Tries to find humor in her superiority. Not my style. Would have been humorous if she had even once been self-deprecating, but apparently she's perfect. I would have avoided this author at mommy groups like the plague. Do not recommend.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are several other quotes that made me laugh as I was reading them, but these translate well out of context.

"...I go through life generally assuming, however erroneous this assumption may be, that most people don't adore children, and I have attempted to train my children to behave accordingly." (p. 69)

"With a look of horror, I realized the place was absolutely crawling with them. Packs of children. In pairs and in gangs, they were everywhere. Where had they come from, and why didn't they go back there? How could there be so many?" (p. 110)

"Do not loose a spoiled, arrogant child upon a world that is in enough trouble as it is, or we are surely doomed." (p. 159)

The book can be summed up as follows: do not allow your kids to rule your life. (I know my parents didn't cater to us kids often. If they had company over, we were allowed to play card games with them for a little bit, then it was off to bed at a reasonable time so the adults could have their own fun. I plan to treat my kid(s) similarly.)

A quick easy read, and fairly entertaining to someone with a small child. Also contains some practical advice, but the type of people who need advice like "don't go to Disney World on holiday, pick somewhere more interesting where you can really create memories" are exactly the type of people who will never touch a book like this. To date, my fondest vacation memory is camping with my grandma and going to a reptile show-and-tell where she was terrified of the boa constrictor and wouldn't go with me to hold it. So suck it, Disney World.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Each person in the family gets to plan an entire day and the whole family must go along. your child will get a portion of the vacation exactly the way he wants it, but so will everyone else in the family, thereby slamming home to your child the message that the family is a team, and not simply his entourage. It is not only the actually day that is so much fun, but also the anticipation of your impending kingship or queenship, which is more than half the excitement. Time is spent planning, and lists are made; your child is a joy to be around the rest of the time, because he knows that his turn will come.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

So this book isn't exactly what it says -- so far it doesn't have much to do with family vacations, but a lot to do with intrepid parenting. Anyway, it's my guilty pleasure -- it's hilarious, but I still regret the title and some of the mild cursing. This is a quick read and when I'm done, I'm looking for the others by this author. I LOVE the silly 50's illustrations!

The book went downhill from there, actually. Not particularly interested in finding more from this author after all.

[DW · Rating 2 out of 5]

This isn't going to win any literary prizes, but it's fairly entertaining and VERY easy to read. There's less about travel specifically than I expected. But she does have some good advice on getting out in the world with children and not feeling locked in to 'family style' vacations/restaurants. She's also highly critical of parents who orchestrate too much of their lives around their children. That's where the humor comes in.

[Maria (Ri) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally a parenting book that says straight up how it is (or how it needs to be!) This should be required reading for new parents. Sometimes we all just nee d a reminder that we are the parent and the world does not need to center around the children! They are a part of the family, but not the only ones in the family who matter. Balance is certainly key. This is a quick fun book that is the sensibility that so many of today's parents need.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

The essence of this writer is to not totally dive into your kids' life but to maintain a sense of identity yourself. She uses many anecdotal stories and different situations to highlight her message. Sometimes I laughed out loud and I really related to the section about visiting grandparents. Houwever it is not a must read for every parent.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun, light read. In it, Mellor makes some good points concerning uptight-child-centric parenting. The chapter "Staying with Friends Abroad" had me laughing out loud. Now I'm off to read the one...

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very light and funny book about young yuppie parents and the annoying traits they take on in raising their kids. LOL funny at times, with some parent-enhancing chapters on living-and traveling with children. A must read for parents with young children.

[Mary]

This book was so funny! LOVED it. Made me think of my SIL Paige, she would get a kick out of this book! Not a good baby shower gift as it would scare the hell out of any soon-to-be or new mom. I am looking forward to reading the other Three Martini books. Enjoy it with a few drinks!

[Kristen Rudd · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could not pass up this title. Very dry, very witty, and I actually did laugh out loud in several places. Joshua kept asking me what was so funny, so I'd read him a sample, and then he would laugh out loud. A quick read. Very fun.

[Jack · Rating 1 out of 5]

Waste --- She gives some tips for surviving as a parent and continue to live as an adult. Tries to be funny but really just annoys with her constant drone against shitty kids. Not really much useful advice. The one funny thing was the child name she kept using. Jackson, Tucker, Logan, etc.

[Vani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved it. Great advice, but not doctor like. The author had a great sense of humor (IMO) and I agreed with a lot of what she had to say.

[Terrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was actually better than the first one, with more useful tips. Will definitely reread when we're ready to take our first vacation with The Boy.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every bit as fun as "The Three Martini Playdate." Everyone with kids should read these books.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Adorably fluffy, yet down to earth.

[Andrea]

When do I get the six-martini teenager book???? I need that one right NOW!!!

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. I read it while on vacation with my husband. Very funny!!

[Heather Novak Bornemeier · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so funny. As a parent you have to have a good sense of humor to enjoy it. It was a fast read and lots of fun.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny....as with Three Martini Playdate, humorous takes on raising kids with underlying advice.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book hilarious! There were so many things I could relate with. A must read for any parent.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as clever at Three Martini Playdate, but still fun and contains a lot of good advise on making the kids behave when out amongst the civilized.

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the first book so I bought the second.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was funny but not as much as The Three-Martini Play Date. But I love the descriptions of the people and the crazy things they do because they have kids. A quick read.

[Melissa (Always Behind) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author is hilarious, this book is a very funny look at parenting.

[Kim Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good sound advice shared in a humorous format. If you don't think it's funny then this book is probably about you.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun read and full of funny insights into the crazy world of parenting. She starts to get a little grating by the end, however...

[Jolynne Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is snarky and I really enjoyed it. It does have a little language 2 or 3 words. I reread it. It makes me smirk :)

[C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I reread this author periodically to remind myself to stay sane about the whole parenting thing.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some funny lines. Not nearly as good as The Three-Martini Playdate.