This year began with the word awe. Every year I have a word that shapes and forms how I attempt to approach my daily life, to force myself to see through the lens of that word, as last year the word was joy and I made it my intention to "count it all joy," which is easier to proclaim than to live out. So I awakened each morning with the goal to see the world not through the eyes of pessimism and sarcasm and cynicism, which comes so naturally to our culture, but through a spiritual purposefulness of reverence and wonder. To approach with awe instead of a commercial consumerism is, in itself, an act of defiance. It is a willful choosing to see the world and those in it (both people and nature) not in terms of being a chance for transactions but moments and opportunities of transformations (my own). What I had not expected was that this would be a season of sorrows, one in which my depression returned and that there would be days when simply getting out of bed and living out my day in all of its routines would be overwhelming enough.
Yet, even in the midst of anxieties and uncertainty, I have forced myself to pause, pay attention, and reflect on the beauty that could be found in something as simple and miraculous as a flower that bloomed in our backyard garden or a raindrop that had formed on the leaf of a hydrangea bush or the feeling of sunlight on my skin as I sit in the grass of our yard with my eyes closed. It has also meant that I have sought out books whose gentle, lyrical and lovely wisdom have nourished my spirit and helped me adjust my eyes to seeing the great wonders that our daily lives have to offer but we so often neglect to take the time to just simply see and be with. It meant that I etched out space to read and reflect on poetry, as well as spending quiet timed mediating and allowing for being and not doing. As I read poets like Rilke, Rumi, Hafiz, Wordsworth, Hopkins, Donne, Berry, Oliver, and Heaney, I found that their words penetrated and permeated my daily thinking. Their imagery and metaphor gave meaning to my moments, to how I began to view the world around me. As Mesiter Eckhart wrote, "Every creature is a word of God." To see in that way is to transform everyone and everything, including how we view ourselves.
Reading poetry, walking in nature, sitting in silence all became sacramental and necessary acts as a way to connect with the grace and graciousness of creation. When we see the world as wonderful we find ourselves more easily going about our days in wonder, in the awe instead of estrangement and isolation. So often I could easily get lost in Plato's cave that is social media and forget that it is not the real world. My identity is not found in the likes of a tweet or post.
One of those writers I have turned to is John O'Donohue. Ever since I was given a copy of his Anam Cara years ago by a close friend, I find connection in his writing about the connection between the visible and invisible worlds, between the spiritual and the material ones, about the beauty and fragility of our lives. Earlier in the year I had spent over a month slowly reading and reflecting on his book Beauty: The Invisible Embrace. For me, his work is not meant to be hurriedly sped through, but is meant to be read in passages at a time in order that I might process and ponder the meaning of what he is writing but how to incorporate in my own daily practices the profundity of silence and stillness in the intimacy of eternal grace that is revealed throughout all of creation. O'Donohue's writing opens me up to the wonder, imagination, and possibility that dwells in the rhythms of our transitory daily lives.
"An unexamined life," wrote Socrates, "is not worth living."
As I began Walking in Wonder, I knew that I would once more be re-engaging with the examined life, with the life worth living because it was a life lived in wonder. When we open ourselves up to beauty, the landscapes we live in become illuminated and infused with this spirit of awe and reverence. I knew that John O'Donohue's writing would put me in touch with this gracious and compassionate way of wondering and wandering. It does not take me long to come to this passage:
If you look as thought as a circle, and if half the arc of the circle is the infusion of wonder, then the thought will be kind, it will be gracious, and it will be compassionate, because wonder and compassion are sisters.
The phrase "wonder and compassion are sisters" resonated deeply within me; as if someone had rung a bell in my spirit. "Wonder and compassion are sisters." I loved this idea of sisterhood between wonder (which the dictionary defines as a feeling of surprise, mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable) with compassion (defined as a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for other people's suffering and a desire to help). This means that to have wonder, we must also have compassion (compassion for others and for our environment, for the natural world). We embrace the suffering of another, or of our planet, and strive to help or alleviate the suffering in any way that we are capable. Wonder and compassion mean connection. They remove the delusion that we are not responsible for each other or for nature. We are custodians and stewards of both our inner and outer worlds. We are to balance solitude with community.
I also loved that he expressed "thought as a circle." What immediately came to mind when I read this was Richard Rohr's book on the Trinity entitled The Divine Dance. The Trinity as a divine circle, unity, and completeness. The circle as a dance which we are invited to join into. It's a concept that brings Matisse's wonderful and vivid painting The Dance up from my subconscious. Every time I look at his bright, bold painting, I long to become one of those dancers. There are a joy and a spirit of life and hope in the painting that fills me with a desire to be a part of it, a part of that circle. A dance is not a closed circle but one that welcomes others to join in, to become a part of the dance. I love this image of the Trinity as one of gladness and dancing and laughter and movement - all with the intent that those who see the dancing will heed the call and become a dancer themselves.
The Celtic circle represents unity in spirit. It's also known as the Trinity Knot. It is tri-cornered. Mind, body, soul. Past, present, future. Life, death, rebirth. Or, as Richard Rohr writes, "God for us, God alongside us, God within us."
This is part of why I read and return to John O'Donohue's writing. When I read him, I become more contemplative. When I engage in his writing, I find myself engaging with my own thoughts and inner world, but also with how I approach the outer world. True contemplation can never be an isolated or isolating act. Contemplation brings forth awareness and awareness should lead to compassion and this compassion is lived out in community. The solitary leads to our discovering our commonality with others. We move beyond the symbolic to the societal. Returning to Meister Eckhart, "What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action." This requires us all to enter into the sacred circle and begin the holy dance.