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Can You Learn to Be Lucky?: Why Some People Seem to Win More Often Than Others
“I don't know when I've been so wowed by a new author”
–Chip Health, co-author of The Power of Moments and Switch
A talented journalist reveals the hidden patterns behind what we call "luck" -- and shows us how we can all improve outcomes despite life’s inevitable randomness.
"Do you believe in luck?" is a polarizing question, one you might ask on a first date. Some of us believe that we make our own luck. Others see inequality everywhere and think that everyone’s fate is at the whim of the cosmos. Karla Starr has a third unlucky, "random" outcomes have predictable effects on our behavior that often make us act in self-defeating ways without even realizing it.
In this groundbreaking book, Starr traces wealth, health, and happiness back to subconscious neurological processes, blind cultural assumptions, and tiny details you're in the habit of overlooking. Each chapter reveals how we can cultivate personal strengths to overcome life’s unlucky patterns. For
• Everyone has free access to that magic productivity app—motivation. The problem? It isn’t evenly distributed. What lucky accidents of history explain patterns behind why certain groups of people are more motivated in some situations than others?
• If you look like an underperforming employee, your resume can't override the gut-level assumptions that a potential boss will make from your LinkedIn photo. How can we make sure that someone’s first impression is favorable?
• Just as people use irrelevant traits to make assumptions about your intelligence, kindness, and trustworthiness, we also make inaccurate snap judgments. How do these judgments affect our interactions, and what should we assume about others to maximize our odds of having lucky encounters?
We don’t always realize when the world's invisible biases work to our advantage or recognize how much of a role we play in our own lack of luck. By ending the guessing game about how luck works, Starr allows you to improve your fortunes while expending minimal effort.
–Chip Health, co-author of The Power of Moments and Switch
A talented journalist reveals the hidden patterns behind what we call "luck" -- and shows us how we can all improve outcomes despite life’s inevitable randomness.
"Do you believe in luck?" is a polarizing question, one you might ask on a first date. Some of us believe that we make our own luck. Others see inequality everywhere and think that everyone’s fate is at the whim of the cosmos. Karla Starr has a third unlucky, "random" outcomes have predictable effects on our behavior that often make us act in self-defeating ways without even realizing it.
In this groundbreaking book, Starr traces wealth, health, and happiness back to subconscious neurological processes, blind cultural assumptions, and tiny details you're in the habit of overlooking. Each chapter reveals how we can cultivate personal strengths to overcome life’s unlucky patterns. For
• Everyone has free access to that magic productivity app—motivation. The problem? It isn’t evenly distributed. What lucky accidents of history explain patterns behind why certain groups of people are more motivated in some situations than others?
• If you look like an underperforming employee, your resume can't override the gut-level assumptions that a potential boss will make from your LinkedIn photo. How can we make sure that someone’s first impression is favorable?
• Just as people use irrelevant traits to make assumptions about your intelligence, kindness, and trustworthiness, we also make inaccurate snap judgments. How do these judgments affect our interactions, and what should we assume about others to maximize our odds of having lucky encounters?
We don’t always realize when the world's invisible biases work to our advantage or recognize how much of a role we play in our own lack of luck. By ending the guessing game about how luck works, Starr allows you to improve your fortunes while expending minimal effort.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published August 14, 2018
51 people are currently reading
521 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
September 15, 2018
Sociability is a predictor of opportunity.
Proximity is a predictor of acquaintanceship.
Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks.
Students who wrote for 15 minutes about one of their strengths – independence, say, or creativity – went on to perform better.
Be capable of looking at a loss and criticism as a learning experience time and time again, relentlessly focusing on improvement and exercising unyielding self-control.
Self-control is an essential component to success.
Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
Proximity is a predictor of acquaintanceship.
Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks.
Students who wrote for 15 minutes about one of their strengths – independence, say, or creativity – went on to perform better.
Be capable of looking at a loss and criticism as a learning experience time and time again, relentlessly focusing on improvement and exercising unyielding self-control.
Self-control is an essential component to success.
Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
August 27, 2018
A well-researched and readable motivational book which, though it repeatedly acknowledges the role of privilege and happenstance in finding success, makes some suggestions for improving the odds--that is, how you can go about counteracting the influence of bad luck and adopting the positive (if unearned) attitude of the privileged. Ultimately, it's a "power of positive thinking" approach with some good general suggestions, but it has a heck of a good bibliography.
July 20, 2020
A dozen memorable and fun insights
I recommend this unreservedly: well-written smart and so engaging. Countless invaluable insights on how to be luckier. Well ... not really luckier ... more fortunate!!
I recommend this unreservedly: well-written smart and so engaging. Countless invaluable insights on how to be luckier. Well ... not really luckier ... more fortunate!!
June 2, 2020
The whole book can be summed up as "You can make a lot of your own luck" by just showing up, being there, being noticed and being good-looking.
Pretty light-weight.
Pretty light-weight.
August 13, 2022
This book was recommended by Chip Heath in his book
Read a book summary:
1. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #1: Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
2. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #2: Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
3. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #3: Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
4. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #4: Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks, but it’s more dependent on social conditioning than we might think.
5. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #5: To be truly successful, hard work isn’t enough. Rather, you need multiple pieces of luck to come together.
6. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #6: Self-control is an essential component to success.
7. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #7: Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
8. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #8: Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Detailed review of the principles:
1. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #1: Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
•
You’ve doubtless heard someone account for a serendipitous event – be it a job opportunity, a promotion or a romantic encounter – by saying, “I was just in the right place at the right time.” Well, it turns out there is a lot of truth to this cliché. At the very least, the “right time” part is crucial.
• Counterintuitive as it might seem, luck often depends on coming last.
• Just consider house hunting. The first properties you view will be judged against your ideals because your mind isn’t yet stocked with real-life examples of real estate to compare them to. But, over time, as you see more properties, your brain will receive information about what is actually out there. You’ll start to think, “Well, this house seems pretty good compared to the first nine I looked at.”
• House hunters viewing their first property never say, “This house is perfect! We’ll take it!” They wait until they’ve seen a number of houses before settling on one they like.
• In the same way, figure-skating judges are reluctant to award an early competitor a 5.9 or a 6 (the highest marks available) because this will make it impossible to give later competitors a higher mark. By the end, competitors are more likely to pick up those high marks, however, since the judges know there is no one else coming who could trump them.
2. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #2: Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
A social psychologist named Robert Zajonc once ran an experiment in which he exposed Westerners to foreign characters – Chinese logograms, for example – and then asked them how much they liked each character. Overall, the participants favored those characters that they had seen most frequently.
This experiment is a demonstration of the exposure effect, which predicts that people will like things they’re familiar with. This effect has an obvious evolutionary explanation. As Zajonc put it, “If it’s familiar, it hasn’t eaten you yet.”
So we tend to like what we know, and, in general, we’re most familiar with whatever we regularly get physically close to. For instance, one classic study shows that the physical proximity of two police recruits during training classes is positively correlated with the likelihood of their later becoming friends. Another study reveals that school children sitting in the center of a classroom make more friends than those on the edges because their central location makes it easier for other students to talk to them. So if making connections doesn’t come easily to you, don’t linger on the edges of that party or networking event. Get into the thick of it!
But merely being around other people isn’t sufficient to spark friendships or profitable business connections. You also need to look the part. That’s because people instinctively use first impressions as a guide to decision-making.
A study once examined whether musicians’ appearances affected how they were assessed. Judges were shown a series of videotaped violin performances, each by a female artist. Some of the violinists wore short skirts and tight tops, while others wore formal concert dress. The trick was that each performance was dubbed with the same musical recording. Nonetheless, judges consistently rated those in formal concert dress to be more technically proficient.
Other studies show that doctors can increase their trustworthiness ratings simply by putting on a white coat over their suit.
We can’t help but use our gut feelings to guide our decision-making. Thanks to years of observation, we simply feel that doctors wearing white coats can be trusted and that violinists in formal concert dress are the real deal. More often than not, our estimation of a person’s trustworthiness is based on a lightning-fast mental assessment – a first impression.
So, whether with your Linkedin profile, your clothes or the strength of your handshake, try to make that first impression a good one. It really does matter.
3. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #3: Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
Since we can’t directly assess the quality of someone’s genes, we tend to make guesses based on the information that is available. An attractive, symmetrical face and nice, shiny hair are indicative of solid genes, so we tend to prefer people who possess such qualities. Our brains seamlessly make a series of logical leaps – from “this person is beautiful” to “this person must have good genes” to “this person is likely to be smart and well-adjusted.”
4. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #4: Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks, but it’s more dependent on social conditioning than we might think.
Confidence is about focusing more on reward than risk. Now, our brain has both an activation system, which encourages us to do things based on potential reward, and an inhibition system, which uses stress and anxiety to stop us from doing things based on potential risk. When we shift from activation to inhibition, we go from “go and talk to him – you might get a date out of it!” to “you’ll only embarrass yourself – it’s time to accept that you’ll die alone.”
People who are able to push activation over inhibition are luckier because they are more likely to get into the situations – talking to potential partners, demanding a promotion – that create opportunities for luck.
Low standing in the social hierarchy can mean low confidence and, therefore, less luck. But it’s possible to escape this trap. Girls are often told that they are less good at math than boys, and studies of women often find worse math results than for men. In one study, however, women about to take a math test were told to imagine themselves as “a stereotypical male.” This caused discrepancies in male and female performance to almost disappear completely. The women’s newfound confidence resulted in an obvious increase in mathematical ability.
If you’re naturally confident, lucky you! If not, here’s a trick that can help. Students who wrote for 15 minutes about one of their strengths – independence, say, or creativity – went on to perform better, over the course of a year, than a control group. Take time to remind yourself of your strengths. You got this!
5. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #5: To be truly successful, hard work isn’t enough. Rather, you need multiple pieces of luck to come together.
Researchers exploring the link between genes and athletic performance have found that genes can account for anywhere between 31 and 85 percent of variation between athletes. So the difference between an Olympic medalist and an “also ran” doesn’t depend on practice alone; it’s also genetic.
You need the right resources, too, not to mention the right location. It’s entirely possible that someone with the perfect genetic makeup for competitive skiing is living in a favela in Brazil. Of course, that person would be unlikely to ever hit the Winter Olympic Games, for geographical and financial reasons.
Studies of top swimmers show that they tend to come from families with a decent income. If they didn’t, they’d be unable to travel around to competitions. They also tend to come from places like southern California, where the sun shines all year round and there are plenty of pools.
To add to genes, resources and location, you also need mental toughness. Reaching the very top in any field depends on never saying, “I quit.”
6. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #6: Self-control is an essential component to success.
Self-control, and investing time and effort in activities that are only rewarding in the long-term, is a great way to generate successful, apparently lucky outcomes.
Meet Derek Sivers. He’s a millionaire who set up a company called CD Baby back in the 1990s. Sivers had created a credit-card account to sell CDs of his own music. CD Baby was born when a friend asked him if he would help set up a website for independent bands to sell their CDs. The site was created over the course of a weekend and later sold at a value of $22 million. What luck! A chance conversation that led, decades later, to a multimillion-dollar payout!
Except it wasn’t really luck. Among his friends, Sivers was known as “the robot.” He had a long attention span and was happy to block out the world and work nonstop for a weekend if he wanted to master a new skill. When, in 1993, he first heard of the internet, he didn’t just start exploring it; he taught himself HTML so he could create his own websites.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to improve your ability to self-regulate your behavior, so don’t get too despondent if you struggle with willpower. Our brain finds it easier to do things that we’ve done many times before – that’s why adults who have tied a tie every morning for ten years can do it on autopilot. Doing things that don’t come naturally, like tying a tie for the very first time, or teaching yourself HTML instead of watching old episodes of Friends, requires us to use the most energy-demanding part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex. If learning new skills feels like hard work, that’s because it really is.
The good news is that, though arduous, self-improvement isn’t impossible. We can all get better at self-discipline by employing tricks like physically moving short-term temptations away (no more cookies in the cupboard!) and picturing the eventual reward of long-term decisions (do I want another cocktail now, or a house in ten years?).
So cultivate your self-discipline, and when a lucky opportunity pops up, you’ll be well placed to capitalize on it, just as Derek Sivers was.
7. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #7: Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
In 1989, sociologist Katherine Giuffre tried to get an idea of how social connections affected success by examining the people and relationships within the New York fine art photography scene.
She found three groups. First, there were strugglers – people who were unsuccessful in their careers. Second, there was a group of photographers with stable, long-term connections with the same curators and artists. They were doing okay, but their careers weren’t taking off. And then there was the third group – successful photographers regularly receiving attention from major art journals. This group was different. Its members had more social ties and knew more people, who, in turn, knew still more people. In short, they had a huge network.
Giuffre noted that a lot of art delivered by the first two groups was simply filtered out into obscurity. The art wasn’t necessarily worse – in some cases, it was mind-blowing – but the photographers lacked the right social connections to get ahead.
So a fine art photographer who can strike up a positive, engaging conversation with anyone is more likely to get ahead, and the same goes for all of us.
But most of us can’t effortlessly chat up a journalist at a gallery opening. We enter into social interactions with nervousness or inhibitions, or we misinterpret the meaningless gestures of our interlocutor. We see them cross their arms and interpret it as “stay away,” not simply “I forgot my sweater today.”
This kind of caginess can easily inhibit real connections, so, to get around it, you should demonstrate expressive interest in other people. Make crystal clear that you are genuinely interested in the other person. Send unmistakably friendly signals, like smiles and leaning in, and make open, welcoming gestures. If you are unmistakably pleasurable to be around, people will open up and warm to you quickly. Remember that humans are social animals. Just as we’re hardwired to enjoy sex and food consumption, we’re instinctively drawn to friendly smiles and welcoming body language.
8. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #8: Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Many people aren’t curious, and, as a result, they neither get nor take any shots at success. As we’ve seen, our default mental setting is to stick with the familiar. The unknown – for instance, turning up at a party where we don’t know anyone – often feels threatening. Our brain switches to inhibition mode and we do nothing.
Being cautious, or curious, about new things is self-perpetuating. If you don’t go to that party, you are missing a chance to get better at handling new things, and your commitment to the status quo strengthens. If you do go to that party, perhaps you’ll meet someone new, who will invite you to another party, and then another, until you eventually meet someone special – your future spouse, perhaps, or a new friend or an entrepreneur with a great business idea.
So try to recognize that while your brain’s default is to stick to the familiar, you can make the decision to do something new. And there are ways to make that easier. You can build your social network because friends often help us do new things. Or you can save money, so you have a cushion if you want to take some risks. Or you can reduce your stress levels and work on your confidence so that taking that leap into the unknown feels easier. Say yes to things. Stay curious. In the end, you might just get lucky.
Short summary:
Life often feels random, as though luck is what separates the best from the rest. And it’s true that many events are outside of our control. But when we start to understand how our brains work, and how invisible biases and patterns influence our behavior, we can learn how to be luckier. So do your best to position yourself for luck. Expand your social network, stay curious and say yes to new opportunities.
Actionable advice:
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
Try out and learn different activities as much as possible. Learn computer programming, study French or try out a new sport. Maybe you’ll stumble upon a world-class talent you never knew you had, or meet your next business partner in class. At worst, you’ll get a better idea of what you truly enjoy doing!
Read a book summary:
1. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #1: Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
2. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #2: Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
3. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #3: Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
4. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #4: Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks, but it’s more dependent on social conditioning than we might think.
5. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #5: To be truly successful, hard work isn’t enough. Rather, you need multiple pieces of luck to come together.
6. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #6: Self-control is an essential component to success.
7. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #7: Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
8. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #8: Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Detailed review of the principles:
1. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #1: Appearing last could help your chances of being lucky.
•
You’ve doubtless heard someone account for a serendipitous event – be it a job opportunity, a promotion or a romantic encounter – by saying, “I was just in the right place at the right time.” Well, it turns out there is a lot of truth to this cliché. At the very least, the “right time” part is crucial.
• Counterintuitive as it might seem, luck often depends on coming last.
• Just consider house hunting. The first properties you view will be judged against your ideals because your mind isn’t yet stocked with real-life examples of real estate to compare them to. But, over time, as you see more properties, your brain will receive information about what is actually out there. You’ll start to think, “Well, this house seems pretty good compared to the first nine I looked at.”
• House hunters viewing their first property never say, “This house is perfect! We’ll take it!” They wait until they’ve seen a number of houses before settling on one they like.
• In the same way, figure-skating judges are reluctant to award an early competitor a 5.9 or a 6 (the highest marks available) because this will make it impossible to give later competitors a higher mark. By the end, competitors are more likely to pick up those high marks, however, since the judges know there is no one else coming who could trump them.
2. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #2: Humans like familiar things, so looking the part and being in the right place will increase your luck.
A social psychologist named Robert Zajonc once ran an experiment in which he exposed Westerners to foreign characters – Chinese logograms, for example – and then asked them how much they liked each character. Overall, the participants favored those characters that they had seen most frequently.
This experiment is a demonstration of the exposure effect, which predicts that people will like things they’re familiar with. This effect has an obvious evolutionary explanation. As Zajonc put it, “If it’s familiar, it hasn’t eaten you yet.”
So we tend to like what we know, and, in general, we’re most familiar with whatever we regularly get physically close to. For instance, one classic study shows that the physical proximity of two police recruits during training classes is positively correlated with the likelihood of their later becoming friends. Another study reveals that school children sitting in the center of a classroom make more friends than those on the edges because their central location makes it easier for other students to talk to them. So if making connections doesn’t come easily to you, don’t linger on the edges of that party or networking event. Get into the thick of it!
But merely being around other people isn’t sufficient to spark friendships or profitable business connections. You also need to look the part. That’s because people instinctively use first impressions as a guide to decision-making.
A study once examined whether musicians’ appearances affected how they were assessed. Judges were shown a series of videotaped violin performances, each by a female artist. Some of the violinists wore short skirts and tight tops, while others wore formal concert dress. The trick was that each performance was dubbed with the same musical recording. Nonetheless, judges consistently rated those in formal concert dress to be more technically proficient.
Other studies show that doctors can increase their trustworthiness ratings simply by putting on a white coat over their suit.
We can’t help but use our gut feelings to guide our decision-making. Thanks to years of observation, we simply feel that doctors wearing white coats can be trusted and that violinists in formal concert dress are the real deal. More often than not, our estimation of a person’s trustworthiness is based on a lightning-fast mental assessment – a first impression.
So, whether with your Linkedin profile, your clothes or the strength of your handshake, try to make that first impression a good one. It really does matter.
3. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #3: Humans are predisposed to favor attractive people, meaning beautiful people get lots of luck.
Since we can’t directly assess the quality of someone’s genes, we tend to make guesses based on the information that is available. An attractive, symmetrical face and nice, shiny hair are indicative of solid genes, so we tend to prefer people who possess such qualities. Our brains seamlessly make a series of logical leaps – from “this person is beautiful” to “this person must have good genes” to “this person is likely to be smart and well-adjusted.”
4. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #4: Confidence creates opportunities for lucky breaks, but it’s more dependent on social conditioning than we might think.
Confidence is about focusing more on reward than risk. Now, our brain has both an activation system, which encourages us to do things based on potential reward, and an inhibition system, which uses stress and anxiety to stop us from doing things based on potential risk. When we shift from activation to inhibition, we go from “go and talk to him – you might get a date out of it!” to “you’ll only embarrass yourself – it’s time to accept that you’ll die alone.”
People who are able to push activation over inhibition are luckier because they are more likely to get into the situations – talking to potential partners, demanding a promotion – that create opportunities for luck.
Low standing in the social hierarchy can mean low confidence and, therefore, less luck. But it’s possible to escape this trap. Girls are often told that they are less good at math than boys, and studies of women often find worse math results than for men. In one study, however, women about to take a math test were told to imagine themselves as “a stereotypical male.” This caused discrepancies in male and female performance to almost disappear completely. The women’s newfound confidence resulted in an obvious increase in mathematical ability.
If you’re naturally confident, lucky you! If not, here’s a trick that can help. Students who wrote for 15 minutes about one of their strengths – independence, say, or creativity – went on to perform better, over the course of a year, than a control group. Take time to remind yourself of your strengths. You got this!
5. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #5: To be truly successful, hard work isn’t enough. Rather, you need multiple pieces of luck to come together.
Researchers exploring the link between genes and athletic performance have found that genes can account for anywhere between 31 and 85 percent of variation between athletes. So the difference between an Olympic medalist and an “also ran” doesn’t depend on practice alone; it’s also genetic.
You need the right resources, too, not to mention the right location. It’s entirely possible that someone with the perfect genetic makeup for competitive skiing is living in a favela in Brazil. Of course, that person would be unlikely to ever hit the Winter Olympic Games, for geographical and financial reasons.
Studies of top swimmers show that they tend to come from families with a decent income. If they didn’t, they’d be unable to travel around to competitions. They also tend to come from places like southern California, where the sun shines all year round and there are plenty of pools.
To add to genes, resources and location, you also need mental toughness. Reaching the very top in any field depends on never saying, “I quit.”
6. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #6: Self-control is an essential component to success.
Self-control, and investing time and effort in activities that are only rewarding in the long-term, is a great way to generate successful, apparently lucky outcomes.
Meet Derek Sivers. He’s a millionaire who set up a company called CD Baby back in the 1990s. Sivers had created a credit-card account to sell CDs of his own music. CD Baby was born when a friend asked him if he would help set up a website for independent bands to sell their CDs. The site was created over the course of a weekend and later sold at a value of $22 million. What luck! A chance conversation that led, decades later, to a multimillion-dollar payout!
Except it wasn’t really luck. Among his friends, Sivers was known as “the robot.” He had a long attention span and was happy to block out the world and work nonstop for a weekend if he wanted to master a new skill. When, in 1993, he first heard of the internet, he didn’t just start exploring it; he taught himself HTML so he could create his own websites.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to improve your ability to self-regulate your behavior, so don’t get too despondent if you struggle with willpower. Our brain finds it easier to do things that we’ve done many times before – that’s why adults who have tied a tie every morning for ten years can do it on autopilot. Doing things that don’t come naturally, like tying a tie for the very first time, or teaching yourself HTML instead of watching old episodes of Friends, requires us to use the most energy-demanding part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex. If learning new skills feels like hard work, that’s because it really is.
The good news is that, though arduous, self-improvement isn’t impossible. We can all get better at self-discipline by employing tricks like physically moving short-term temptations away (no more cookies in the cupboard!) and picturing the eventual reward of long-term decisions (do I want another cocktail now, or a house in ten years?).
So cultivate your self-discipline, and when a lucky opportunity pops up, you’ll be well placed to capitalize on it, just as Derek Sivers was.
7. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #7: Connecting with other people will help generate new opportunities.
In 1989, sociologist Katherine Giuffre tried to get an idea of how social connections affected success by examining the people and relationships within the New York fine art photography scene.
She found three groups. First, there were strugglers – people who were unsuccessful in their careers. Second, there was a group of photographers with stable, long-term connections with the same curators and artists. They were doing okay, but their careers weren’t taking off. And then there was the third group – successful photographers regularly receiving attention from major art journals. This group was different. Its members had more social ties and knew more people, who, in turn, knew still more people. In short, they had a huge network.
Giuffre noted that a lot of art delivered by the first two groups was simply filtered out into obscurity. The art wasn’t necessarily worse – in some cases, it was mind-blowing – but the photographers lacked the right social connections to get ahead.
So a fine art photographer who can strike up a positive, engaging conversation with anyone is more likely to get ahead, and the same goes for all of us.
But most of us can’t effortlessly chat up a journalist at a gallery opening. We enter into social interactions with nervousness or inhibitions, or we misinterpret the meaningless gestures of our interlocutor. We see them cross their arms and interpret it as “stay away,” not simply “I forgot my sweater today.”
This kind of caginess can easily inhibit real connections, so, to get around it, you should demonstrate expressive interest in other people. Make crystal clear that you are genuinely interested in the other person. Send unmistakably friendly signals, like smiles and leaning in, and make open, welcoming gestures. If you are unmistakably pleasurable to be around, people will open up and warm to you quickly. Remember that humans are social animals. Just as we’re hardwired to enjoy sex and food consumption, we’re instinctively drawn to friendly smiles and welcoming body language.
8. Can You Learn to be Lucky? Key Idea #8: Staying curious about new things will increase your chances of finding luck.
Many people aren’t curious, and, as a result, they neither get nor take any shots at success. As we’ve seen, our default mental setting is to stick with the familiar. The unknown – for instance, turning up at a party where we don’t know anyone – often feels threatening. Our brain switches to inhibition mode and we do nothing.
Being cautious, or curious, about new things is self-perpetuating. If you don’t go to that party, you are missing a chance to get better at handling new things, and your commitment to the status quo strengthens. If you do go to that party, perhaps you’ll meet someone new, who will invite you to another party, and then another, until you eventually meet someone special – your future spouse, perhaps, or a new friend or an entrepreneur with a great business idea.
So try to recognize that while your brain’s default is to stick to the familiar, you can make the decision to do something new. And there are ways to make that easier. You can build your social network because friends often help us do new things. Or you can save money, so you have a cushion if you want to take some risks. Or you can reduce your stress levels and work on your confidence so that taking that leap into the unknown feels easier. Say yes to things. Stay curious. In the end, you might just get lucky.
Short summary:
Life often feels random, as though luck is what separates the best from the rest. And it’s true that many events are outside of our control. But when we start to understand how our brains work, and how invisible biases and patterns influence our behavior, we can learn how to be luckier. So do your best to position yourself for luck. Expand your social network, stay curious and say yes to new opportunities.
Actionable advice:
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
Try out and learn different activities as much as possible. Learn computer programming, study French or try out a new sport. Maybe you’ll stumble upon a world-class talent you never knew you had, or meet your next business partner in class. At worst, you’ll get a better idea of what you truly enjoy doing!
August 25, 2021
NoPE. Absolutely no.
Just no.
Is this book a science paper? A boring scientific report? Cause it sure reads and feels like one!
It was way off track for me, to the point that within minutes of beginning I thought I'd missed something as I was completely lost.
And the amount of footnotes and references!?? I have never seen what should be a fun enjoyable topic be so full of "data".
There are SOoooo many reference footnotes on each page that there are pages and pages in the book that take up 1/4 of the book itself! (No joke).
It's like this author (do we call someone that when they write a scientific journal??) didn't really have any of their own words but instead only cited others.
I am really disappointed on this as it is a very real question in the world, of why some people have "all the luck" while others can " never catch a break".
In all honesty the book could have just been the chap end notes, the summary, and been way more informative. Instead of having to crawl through endless stories, data, and seemingly unrelated words and graphs.
Oh well.
Luck is yet still illusive!
Be grateful when you get some, and work harder when you don't.
Simple.
Just no.
Is this book a science paper? A boring scientific report? Cause it sure reads and feels like one!
It was way off track for me, to the point that within minutes of beginning I thought I'd missed something as I was completely lost.
And the amount of footnotes and references!?? I have never seen what should be a fun enjoyable topic be so full of "data".
There are SOoooo many reference footnotes on each page that there are pages and pages in the book that take up 1/4 of the book itself! (No joke).
It's like this author (do we call someone that when they write a scientific journal??) didn't really have any of their own words but instead only cited others.
I am really disappointed on this as it is a very real question in the world, of why some people have "all the luck" while others can " never catch a break".
In all honesty the book could have just been the chap end notes, the summary, and been way more informative. Instead of having to crawl through endless stories, data, and seemingly unrelated words and graphs.
Oh well.
Luck is yet still illusive!
Be grateful when you get some, and work harder when you don't.
Simple.
September 21, 2018
I read this book thanks to Blinkist.
This book contains advice I’ve already read before, as well as some very interesting new bits. It gave me a new perspective about old truths.
The key message in these blinks:
Life often feels random, as though luck is what separates the best from the rest. And it’s true that many events are outside of our control. But when we start to understand how our brains work, and how invisible biases and patterns influence our behavior, we can learn how to be luckier. So do your best to position yourself for luck. Expand your social network, stay curious and say yes to new opportunities.
Actionable advice:
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
Try out and learn different activities as much as possible. Learn computer programming, study French or try out a new sport. Maybe you’ll stumble upon a world-class talent you never knew you had, or meet your next business partner in class. At worst, you’ll get a better idea of what you truly enjoy doing!
Suggested further reading:
How Luck Happens by Janice Kaplan and Barnaby Marsh
How Luck Happens (2018) debunks the myth that luck is something we have zero control over, revealing that we certainly can influence the level of luckiness in our lives. Packed with examples and practical advice, this book shows how luck can be improved in the workplace as well as the dating scene.
This book contains advice I’ve already read before, as well as some very interesting new bits. It gave me a new perspective about old truths.
The key message in these blinks:
Life often feels random, as though luck is what separates the best from the rest. And it’s true that many events are outside of our control. But when we start to understand how our brains work, and how invisible biases and patterns influence our behavior, we can learn how to be luckier. So do your best to position yourself for luck. Expand your social network, stay curious and say yes to new opportunities.
Actionable advice:
Maximize your lucky opportunities by regularly trying new things.
Try out and learn different activities as much as possible. Learn computer programming, study French or try out a new sport. Maybe you’ll stumble upon a world-class talent you never knew you had, or meet your next business partner in class. At worst, you’ll get a better idea of what you truly enjoy doing!
Suggested further reading:
How Luck Happens by Janice Kaplan and Barnaby Marsh
How Luck Happens (2018) debunks the myth that luck is something we have zero control over, revealing that we certainly can influence the level of luckiness in our lives. Packed with examples and practical advice, this book shows how luck can be improved in the workplace as well as the dating scene.
August 22, 2018
This is just such a great read. Informative, motivating, humorous and soooooo helpful. I can kind of relate to being in such a funk, just laying on the couch and binging on netflix, and struggling to get my shit together. But in each chapter Starr gives concise, well researched and even science based neuro stuff, which helps you understand the why. At the end of each chapter there are bullet points, which I think I will paste on my refrigerator!! I definitely recommend this book, it could possibly motivate you to get off that couch and live your best life!
February 25, 2019
Very well researched book with reliance on research done in neuroscience. The book has quick recap at the end of each chapter. For people interested in detailed reading on topics there are copious notes with references to original work. In fact a quarter of the book is with notes and references showing the level of research done by author
March 23, 2019
I really thought this book would be different, but all of really does is point out how lucky you are to be born attractive and into money. Every chapter just seemed to out line that if you are born into money, you're doing better than most. If you are working class and of average appearance, try the things that come naturally to the pedigree of the rich and beautiful.
June 9, 2019
It’s a book about privilege that never uses the word “privilege” and doesn’t address the systemic power behind many forms of so-called luck. Feels like a bit of a dance around keywords to keep this book off certain shelves at the bookstore.
January 18, 2025
Karla Starr’s Can You Learn to Be Lucky? is an intriguing exploration of how luck, preparation, and perception intersect in determining success. Drawing on an eclectic mix of psychological research, neuroscience, and engaging real-life anecdotes, Starr tackles one of life’s perennial questions: how much control do we truly have over our fate?
The central thesis of the book is both reassuring and thought-provoking: while we may not control chance or randomness, we can control our preparedness, mindset, and social interactions to create more opportunities for serendipity. Starr argues that behaviors and perspectives like confidence, persistence, and openness to new experiences can amplify our ability to “get lucky.” This shift from a fatalistic view to an actionable one offers readers a refreshing and empowering way to see their own potential.
Starr’s writing is accessible, witty, and often conversational, making complex scientific concepts digestible for general audiences. She skillfully bridges academic findings with engaging stories of individuals who have succeeded despite challenges. For example, her exploration of cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect and the ways our brains are hardwired to misjudge probabilities offers practical insights that readers can immediately apply to their personal and professional lives.
One of the book’s most compelling strengths is its balance of optimism and realism. Starr acknowledges the role that luck plays—where we’re born, who we meet, and even the timing of events—but she also emphasizes the power of agency. She effectively dismantles the myth that luck is purely random, encouraging readers to take active steps toward cultivating it through social skills, strategic thinking, and self-awareness.
However, at times, the book can feel overly reliant on anecdotal evidence, and some readers may find certain chapters more speculative than scientifically rigorous. While the research is presented clearly, it occasionally leans toward generalization, leaving those looking for deeper academic depth wanting.
Overall, Can You Learn to Be Lucky? is a thought-provoking and motivational read. It challenges conventional narratives about success and provides practical tools for harnessing life’s uncertainties. Perfect for readers interested in personal growth, psychology, or navigating the unpredictable nature of modern life, Karla Starr delivers a hopeful message: while we can’t control everything, we can make our own luck by creating the conditions where it is most likely to thrive.
Make crystal clear that you are genuinely interested in the other person. Send unmistakably friendly signals, like smiles and leaning in, and make open, welcoming gestures. If you are unmistakably pleasurable to be around, people will open up and warm to you quickly. Remember that humans are social animals, just as we're hardwired to enjoy sex and food consumption, we're instinctively drawn to friendly smiles and welcoming body language.
Rating: 4/5
The central thesis of the book is both reassuring and thought-provoking: while we may not control chance or randomness, we can control our preparedness, mindset, and social interactions to create more opportunities for serendipity. Starr argues that behaviors and perspectives like confidence, persistence, and openness to new experiences can amplify our ability to “get lucky.” This shift from a fatalistic view to an actionable one offers readers a refreshing and empowering way to see their own potential.
Starr’s writing is accessible, witty, and often conversational, making complex scientific concepts digestible for general audiences. She skillfully bridges academic findings with engaging stories of individuals who have succeeded despite challenges. For example, her exploration of cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect and the ways our brains are hardwired to misjudge probabilities offers practical insights that readers can immediately apply to their personal and professional lives.
One of the book’s most compelling strengths is its balance of optimism and realism. Starr acknowledges the role that luck plays—where we’re born, who we meet, and even the timing of events—but she also emphasizes the power of agency. She effectively dismantles the myth that luck is purely random, encouraging readers to take active steps toward cultivating it through social skills, strategic thinking, and self-awareness.
However, at times, the book can feel overly reliant on anecdotal evidence, and some readers may find certain chapters more speculative than scientifically rigorous. While the research is presented clearly, it occasionally leans toward generalization, leaving those looking for deeper academic depth wanting.
Overall, Can You Learn to Be Lucky? is a thought-provoking and motivational read. It challenges conventional narratives about success and provides practical tools for harnessing life’s uncertainties. Perfect for readers interested in personal growth, psychology, or navigating the unpredictable nature of modern life, Karla Starr delivers a hopeful message: while we can’t control everything, we can make our own luck by creating the conditions where it is most likely to thrive.
Make crystal clear that you are genuinely interested in the other person. Send unmistakably friendly signals, like smiles and leaning in, and make open, welcoming gestures. If you are unmistakably pleasurable to be around, people will open up and warm to you quickly. Remember that humans are social animals, just as we're hardwired to enjoy sex and food consumption, we're instinctively drawn to friendly smiles and welcoming body language.
Rating: 4/5
April 9, 2022
This is a shockingly short book. I read it on the Kindle app. There are about 177 pages of reading - which is about 60% of the book. The other 40% are footnotes and an index. Still, it took me a while to read. I don’t think that has anything to do with the quality of the book - just that I keep getting distracted from my reading goals. I was also in a “bad place” while reading this book. I felt like even though this is an upbeat, motivational book I kept saying to myself “well, I’ve f***ed up in that aspect of life.” I did make a bunch of highlights and notes. Maybe I’ll go back and review them when I’m feeling more confident about myself. Additionally, with a title like “Can You Learn To Be Lucky?” I thought this book would at least teach me how to increase my odds of winning the lottery. It did not. F***!
September 15, 2018
No. You cannot learn to be lucky.
If you don’t have genes, resources and location, no matter how much hard you’ll work, you won’t achieve that. At least according to this book.
But the good news is that you can maximize your lucky opportunities with curiosity to learn/try new things, self-control and networking.
If you don’t have genes, resources and location, no matter how much hard you’ll work, you won’t achieve that. At least according to this book.
But the good news is that you can maximize your lucky opportunities with curiosity to learn/try new things, self-control and networking.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2022
Overall, a good and thought-provoking book. I can see why Starr is so successful.
She has clearly done her research and I enjoyed her willingness to be self-deprecating. I wish that she included more content and fewer notes. At 177 pages (minus the exhaustive notes), this is a deceptively short read.
She has clearly done her research and I enjoyed her willingness to be self-deprecating. I wish that she included more content and fewer notes. At 177 pages (minus the exhaustive notes), this is a deceptively short read.
January 30, 2025
Well-researched, inspiring, and funny. Similar to Mary Roach's books, but more personal. At times, the writing wasn't quite punchy enough in terms of here's my argument, here's the evidence, and this is what it means, notwithstanding the bulleted lists at the chapter ends. Regardless, a great read. This book deserved a better cover and better distribution.
September 27, 2023
Though some of the possible revelations seemed a little pedestrian, I think the book made a decent effort at bringing practical and evidence based information to the abstract concept of luck. It allows the reader to strategize their actions and can be useful heuristic for system thinking.
October 22, 2024
Great book. A lot of practical tactics to help your luck.
Worth reviewing the full copy and summarising the specific tactics and protocols that help.
Not wishful thinking, smart and science based.
Listened via Blinkist at 2x speed. 23mins.
Worth reviewing the full copy and summarising the specific tactics and protocols that help.
Not wishful thinking, smart and science based.
Listened via Blinkist at 2x speed. 23mins.
November 2, 2018
This book was a Best of the Best for the month of November 2018, as selected by Stevo's Book Reviews on the Internet. http://forums.delphiforums.com/stevo1...
November 19, 2018
A so-so book that basically equates what's seen as luck to privilege.
January 8, 2019
rubbish.
March 20, 2019
Lots of studies, including some super interesting ones e.g. the scare one.
Not the most flowing read or clear actionable takeaways
Not the most flowing read or clear actionable takeaways
September 26, 2019
Loved that book a lot, resonated with me a lot.
Keep positive, flexible and open for new opportunities !!
Keep positive, flexible and open for new opportunities !!
February 3, 2020
Pretty good advice and pretty lively telling.
October 30, 2024
Inspirational and Thought provoking
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews