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Brutal Legacy
When the battered face of Tracy Going, South Africa’s golden girl of broadcasting, was splashed across the media back in the late 1990s, the nation was shocked. Sensational headlines of a whirlwind love relationship turned horrendously violent threw the “perfect” life of the household star into disarray. In mesmerizing detail, Going takes us through the harrowing court process, her decline into depression, the immediate collapse of her career due to the highly public nature of her assault and the decades-long journey to undo the psychological damages in the search for safety and the reclaiming of self. The roots of violence form the backdrop of the book, tracing Going’s childhood on a plot in Brits, laced with the unpredictable violence of an alcoholic father who regularly terrorized the family with his fists of rage. Brilliantly penned, this highly skilled debut memoir is ultimately uplifting in the realization that healing is a lengthy and often arduous process and that self-forgiveness and acceptance is essential to fully embrace life.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
210 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
June 30, 2018
One of the questions that recurred to me as I read Tracy Going’s memoir, Brutal Legacy was, ‘What could she have done to avoid this?’ I wanted an easy answer. When, after reading the final page this morning, I took my dogs for a muddy walk and thought more about the book, I realised my question corresponds with one she repeats throughout, ‘Why?’ There are no easy answers to either.
To avoid being viciously beaten, Going would have had to spurn any opportunity to love and be loved. She fell in love and her beloved became her batterer. Why? Perhaps because he was a brute who believed himself to be invincible. And indeed, the patriarchal courts upheld this notion. Going was viciously assaulted by her boyfriend and then pummelled by the court (and by some members of the media) for about three years thereafter. It’s a chronic theme; the odds are stacked up against women, even when their bruises provide irrefutable evidence that they've been wronged.
Brutal Legacy is a powerful account of how one person’s ruthlessness can turn another’s life upside down and change everything that comes thereafter.
In addition to the story of her abuse by her former lover, the memoir tells of Going’s childhood in Brits, during which her alcoholic father regularly beat her mother. Having witnessed her father’s abuse of her mother, Going was a child when she resolved never to be beaten by a man. What could she have done to avoid it? Nothing. It’s not one person’s responsibility to avoid being harmed by another; it’s every person’s obligation to treat others with respect and compassion.
Tightly written, engaging and moving, Brutal Legacy tells a brave and important story. I loved Going’s descriptions of Brits, her childhood and the veld around the family home. (Brace yourself for her memories of the snakes.) I was enraged by the arrogance and cruelty of her assailant, and fascinated by what happened in court. I was saddened by the impact of the attack on her son and by the effect of her father’s illness on his family. Most of all though, I was left with admiration for Going’s determination to see her abuser face justice and for her remarkable strength to dare to love again.
To avoid being viciously beaten, Going would have had to spurn any opportunity to love and be loved. She fell in love and her beloved became her batterer. Why? Perhaps because he was a brute who believed himself to be invincible. And indeed, the patriarchal courts upheld this notion. Going was viciously assaulted by her boyfriend and then pummelled by the court (and by some members of the media) for about three years thereafter. It’s a chronic theme; the odds are stacked up against women, even when their bruises provide irrefutable evidence that they've been wronged.
Brutal Legacy is a powerful account of how one person’s ruthlessness can turn another’s life upside down and change everything that comes thereafter.
In addition to the story of her abuse by her former lover, the memoir tells of Going’s childhood in Brits, during which her alcoholic father regularly beat her mother. Having witnessed her father’s abuse of her mother, Going was a child when she resolved never to be beaten by a man. What could she have done to avoid it? Nothing. It’s not one person’s responsibility to avoid being harmed by another; it’s every person’s obligation to treat others with respect and compassion.
Tightly written, engaging and moving, Brutal Legacy tells a brave and important story. I loved Going’s descriptions of Brits, her childhood and the veld around the family home. (Brace yourself for her memories of the snakes.) I was enraged by the arrogance and cruelty of her assailant, and fascinated by what happened in court. I was saddened by the impact of the attack on her son and by the effect of her father’s illness on his family. Most of all though, I was left with admiration for Going’s determination to see her abuser face justice and for her remarkable strength to dare to love again.
March 17, 2018
There is nothing old about emotional, physical and psychological wounds caused by violence towards a person be it a child or an adult. The wounds and hurt take a life of their own. Inhabiting our bodies for as long as we life. Ours is working on not passing this to our future generations. Healing is a perpetual process. For as long as we keep working on the healing AND forgiveness of self, we will be alright. The perpetrators must be made to feel the full might of the law and work on their own healing. It cannot be my responsibility too😢
Violence in the home wreaks havoc. Breeds mistrust and a general trustworthiness towards the victim and all those affected. I so related to Tracy's story and was so emotional that at times, I found myself sobbing. The shame. The shame of seeing my mother's eye blue and her skin a kaleidoscope of angry reds waltzing Matilda across her face. And the secrecy. Why is this ever the child's secret to keep?????????
And the pretence which normalized this violence. The blame my grandmother apportioned to my mother. No one ever said it was my father's fault. All of it. Not some of it.
I remember testifying in my mother's case. Against my father. I was 7. In school uniform. Spoke SeSotho. There was a translator. A young black woman who was very kind. I was trembling. I had to face my father in that courtroom. He was seething and appeared to be breathing out smoke through his nostrils. In the afternoon, he came home.
This is not a "Lemme tell you about it" kinda book. Tracy story demands to be experienced. From the beginning, her beginning as a baby right through to her journey opening up about her life. This book is not about the assault inflicted on her by a sadistic and jealous ex, she is so much more than that. A whole person who had hopes and dreams and so much wanted to be "better" than her mother and was definitely not expecting her son to literally follow in her footsteps, that she was altered by the violence and had to have new hopes and dreams for herself and her son.
Lessons are such crappy sometimes. Why does the lesson has to come wrapped in hurt, anger, jealousy, kicking, biting, pulling, spilling, swearing, threats????? I'll skip such lessons, thank you.
The writing is so so good. Tracey knits her story with bales and bales of delicate wool, cashmere, I'd say, never looses a stitch, never skips a stitch. She goes way back and comes back, back again and comes back but the back and forth is looped together neatly. No messes. Like one would from a psychiatrist's couch. I was like on the outside looking in.
Tracy has been brave and continues to bravely stand up for human dignity. You don't have to be publicly active to be an activist, the little we do quietly in our corners makes a huge difference.
I remember Tracy Going. A glamorous figure on my parents' tv. A velvet-smooth voice talking to me via the wireless on radio Metro. She was in the society pages. Not a hair out of place. Perfect. I wanted to be her. Then I saw the pictures of her battered face. And I wept. Who would want to mess her up like this? I always thought that a woman-basher and a tormentor of children had a face. And that face wasn't white. I had so much to unlearn from then on. Abusers are sadist. Disgusting men with low self-esteem and control issues. Why the need to dictate, control and manipulate by any means necessary???
Tracy stood up for herself against an unjust judiciary system, a well connected tyrant and a very intrusive, sometimes abusive, public scrutiny. She wasn't alone in her corner. She had her mother, relatives and friends holding her hand. Supporting. Crutching her. Loving her. And believing in her. Reassuring her and most importantly reminding her that SHE DID NOT DESERVE THIS. ANY OF IT.
MFBooks you keep cooking the pots🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Violence in the home wreaks havoc. Breeds mistrust and a general trustworthiness towards the victim and all those affected. I so related to Tracy's story and was so emotional that at times, I found myself sobbing. The shame. The shame of seeing my mother's eye blue and her skin a kaleidoscope of angry reds waltzing Matilda across her face. And the secrecy. Why is this ever the child's secret to keep?????????
And the pretence which normalized this violence. The blame my grandmother apportioned to my mother. No one ever said it was my father's fault. All of it. Not some of it.
I remember testifying in my mother's case. Against my father. I was 7. In school uniform. Spoke SeSotho. There was a translator. A young black woman who was very kind. I was trembling. I had to face my father in that courtroom. He was seething and appeared to be breathing out smoke through his nostrils. In the afternoon, he came home.
This is not a "Lemme tell you about it" kinda book. Tracy story demands to be experienced. From the beginning, her beginning as a baby right through to her journey opening up about her life. This book is not about the assault inflicted on her by a sadistic and jealous ex, she is so much more than that. A whole person who had hopes and dreams and so much wanted to be "better" than her mother and was definitely not expecting her son to literally follow in her footsteps, that she was altered by the violence and had to have new hopes and dreams for herself and her son.
Lessons are such crappy sometimes. Why does the lesson has to come wrapped in hurt, anger, jealousy, kicking, biting, pulling, spilling, swearing, threats????? I'll skip such lessons, thank you.
The writing is so so good. Tracey knits her story with bales and bales of delicate wool, cashmere, I'd say, never looses a stitch, never skips a stitch. She goes way back and comes back, back again and comes back but the back and forth is looped together neatly. No messes. Like one would from a psychiatrist's couch. I was like on the outside looking in.
Tracy has been brave and continues to bravely stand up for human dignity. You don't have to be publicly active to be an activist, the little we do quietly in our corners makes a huge difference.
I remember Tracy Going. A glamorous figure on my parents' tv. A velvet-smooth voice talking to me via the wireless on radio Metro. She was in the society pages. Not a hair out of place. Perfect. I wanted to be her. Then I saw the pictures of her battered face. And I wept. Who would want to mess her up like this? I always thought that a woman-basher and a tormentor of children had a face. And that face wasn't white. I had so much to unlearn from then on. Abusers are sadist. Disgusting men with low self-esteem and control issues. Why the need to dictate, control and manipulate by any means necessary???
Tracy stood up for herself against an unjust judiciary system, a well connected tyrant and a very intrusive, sometimes abusive, public scrutiny. She wasn't alone in her corner. She had her mother, relatives and friends holding her hand. Supporting. Crutching her. Loving her. And believing in her. Reassuring her and most importantly reminding her that SHE DID NOT DESERVE THIS. ANY OF IT.
MFBooks you keep cooking the pots🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
March 24, 2018
Such a brave, heart-wrenching book which resonates with me so deeply. I always remember thinking how glamorous Tracy was on TV. These stories always make me question who raises such men? As a mom to a son, I can't fathom what conditions you raise them in to create such monsters.
June 17, 2019
I am completely unsettled after reading this book. This is as real and raw as it comes. Over the past few days I feel as though I’ve walked this journey with Tracy and I commend her for her bravery to speak out. It is on the shoulders of women like her that we change the world. I echo the quote on the front cover by Sisonke Msimang, “Every South African should read it. “
March 9, 2018
On seeing me read this book, someone (who happened to be a man) asked me, 'Isn't it an old story though? Why bother writing a book about an old event when everyone knows the facts?' I replied that Going's story is a relevant and important book which, besides for adding a strong voice to the speaking-up-against-abuse narrative, exposes the injustices of our justice system...and how survivors of abuse are often the ones standing trial despite their standing on the side of the prosecution. This is an excellent book written with rich, descriptive language and which one can't help devouring, even through its scenes of violence and the anger which one feels toward the law.
March 14, 2018
I was pulled into this book immediately. I found that the author created a superb visual of her surroundings, feelings and struggles. I finished it quickly because I needed to know what happened but will return to parts again. This book should be read in Life Orientation at school to illustrate how things go wrong, how to fight for yourself and to find happiness again.
August 13, 2018
A brutal legacy faced with courage, compassion and a need to understand. Necessary reading. Powerful writing. Thank you, Tracy Going.
November 8, 2025
“Perhaps it was in that moment that I silenced my inner voice. Maybe it was then, as I stood in my kitchen, accepting his abusive onslaught against another woman, that I made a near deadly contract with my abuser”
Brutal Legacy is a brilliantly befitting title of how powerful the impact of physical violence can have in forming long lasting psychological wounds for the victims. In this memoir Tracy details growing up in small and dusty farming land of Brits in the Northwest province. Going experienced the first breach of safety and trust in her childhood when her alcoholic father would regularly beat her mother, this resulted in young Tracy resolving and vowing to never be beaten by a man.
Having escaped her small town and humble beginnings, in her adulthood Tracy realised her dream of becoming a television and radio broadcaster. She is excelling and on an upward trajectory in her career when she meets the man that would become her romantic partner and alter her life forever. In the book Going details in an unflinching and raw description how she was battered, beaten and assaulted by her boyfriend at the time. The abuse was not just limited to the physical assault but verbal as well, she writes how he would often times threaten to kill her whilst calling her all sorts of obscene names.
The scenes of the abuse were difficult to read and I found myself going from being enraged at the level of arrogance of her abuser to being overcome with sadness when seeing how the abuse affected Tracy’s son and planted seeds of unworthiness in Going’s mind and self image. There is one incident in particular where her former lover vowed to kill her, including dragging her by hair. I am inspired by the determination and commitment Tracy displayed in seeing her abuser face the law. The details surrounding the court case proceedings and the line of questioning often approached from a patriarchal point of view left me as women reader feeling desponded at the lack of judiciary justice. Tracy at this time was a beloved radio broadcaster, with her fame she would not only have to navigate the disappointments of the court system but face this amidst media storm attention with her buttered face splashed across multiple tabloid and newspapers.
The book was written especially well, it is gripping, heart breaking must also inspires hope about how the human spirit is able to rise after being beaten down. Domestic violence in South Africa has become a femicide with staggering figures how victims often dying at the hands of the abuser. In Brutal legacy Tracy has given a powerful voice to the eternal wounds that emerge from physical abuse and the sheer courage and bravery she displayed in literally having to fight for her life and that of her son, and has given language to dispel myths about who the face of a victim of domestic violence looks like, having been a glamorous and a darling media face of broadcasting. The book is a must read for everyone and will have you engaged from the first page.
Brutal Legacy is a brilliantly befitting title of how powerful the impact of physical violence can have in forming long lasting psychological wounds for the victims. In this memoir Tracy details growing up in small and dusty farming land of Brits in the Northwest province. Going experienced the first breach of safety and trust in her childhood when her alcoholic father would regularly beat her mother, this resulted in young Tracy resolving and vowing to never be beaten by a man.
Having escaped her small town and humble beginnings, in her adulthood Tracy realised her dream of becoming a television and radio broadcaster. She is excelling and on an upward trajectory in her career when she meets the man that would become her romantic partner and alter her life forever. In the book Going details in an unflinching and raw description how she was battered, beaten and assaulted by her boyfriend at the time. The abuse was not just limited to the physical assault but verbal as well, she writes how he would often times threaten to kill her whilst calling her all sorts of obscene names.
The scenes of the abuse were difficult to read and I found myself going from being enraged at the level of arrogance of her abuser to being overcome with sadness when seeing how the abuse affected Tracy’s son and planted seeds of unworthiness in Going’s mind and self image. There is one incident in particular where her former lover vowed to kill her, including dragging her by hair. I am inspired by the determination and commitment Tracy displayed in seeing her abuser face the law. The details surrounding the court case proceedings and the line of questioning often approached from a patriarchal point of view left me as women reader feeling desponded at the lack of judiciary justice. Tracy at this time was a beloved radio broadcaster, with her fame she would not only have to navigate the disappointments of the court system but face this amidst media storm attention with her buttered face splashed across multiple tabloid and newspapers.
The book was written especially well, it is gripping, heart breaking must also inspires hope about how the human spirit is able to rise after being beaten down. Domestic violence in South Africa has become a femicide with staggering figures how victims often dying at the hands of the abuser. In Brutal legacy Tracy has given a powerful voice to the eternal wounds that emerge from physical abuse and the sheer courage and bravery she displayed in literally having to fight for her life and that of her son, and has given language to dispel myths about who the face of a victim of domestic violence looks like, having been a glamorous and a darling media face of broadcasting. The book is a must read for everyone and will have you engaged from the first page.
July 6, 2018
This is a deeply thought provoking book. It took me a good while to start reading it and it took even longer for me to finish. I had to read it slowly to take in all the information. Tracy’s writing style flows and describes her life and horrific trials in such a way that I felt that I was experiencing everything with her. Having not been exposed to abuse in any form (both physical or emotional), I was truly devastated that someone could treat a supposed loved one in this manner. The harsh, unsympathetic court treatment as well as the media frenzy and misreporting simply compounded an already untenable situation. While I know there are, and will be, people living in worse situations than Tracy did, She has gone a long way to bringing these wrongs to light and educating us as to what happens behind closed doors. She has shared private agonies so that others, like myself, can be made aware. This book was a riveting read which I wholeheartedly recommend to all (men and women).
July 24, 2018
South Africans know Tracy Going's face so well. Even thirty years later, we remember her. She was a television presenter when we all woke up to the morning show, every morning. That's how we caught up on what had happened while we were asleep, in those days - the traffic, the gossip. No Twitter, morning news on TV. Imagine that. This book tells her story of what happened behind the scenes, and reveals the shocking and horrific behaviour from an abusive partner, who remains unnamed throughout the telling. It's her story, at last told.
As the title warns, it is brutal. It made me angry and sad. And although I was mostly sad for Tracy, I was also sad for all the other women treated in this manner. Tracy talks about her life as a child, which wasn't perfect.
Read my full review here.
As the title warns, it is brutal. It made me angry and sad. And although I was mostly sad for Tracy, I was also sad for all the other women treated in this manner. Tracy talks about her life as a child, which wasn't perfect.
Read my full review here.
September 24, 2018
The Oscar, Daddy Going and Batterer connections enriched the expose. The absence of 'why's' disappointed. So Daddy Going was an alcoholic. But what triggered the violence in this man - what was his background, why did he drink? And as regards 'him' a whole lot more about him, his background, his personality disposition, the triggers for this incredible night of craziness would have been helpful. I gather that this book was written in a wave of awareness of violence against women. Sorry, that the journey and outcome don't seem to offer much encouragement for the bravery and relentless determination displayed by Tracy. It seems wise to avoid the 'him' characters rather than to expose oneself to such danger and hope for any form of retribution or justice. Just a sad story, offering little comfort or hope in a society of masogynists....
September 3, 2019
An account of one South African woman's harrowing abuse at the hands of her partner, and her re-victimization by the courts, which resulted in the man receiving a mere slap on the wrist despite hard, documented evidence of his heinous crimes. A thought-provoking, beautifully written true story. Tracy Going is an incredible writer, I sincerely hopes she writes another book! I salute her for baring her innermost thoughts, experiences and remembrances to the world. And for her courage in the face of terror. I am sure many women will find strength in her testimony. In a society beset by escalating gender-based violence, we need books like this to shine a harsh light on the darkness.
June 12, 2018
This is a powerful book and not an easy read. However, it is a must read for any woman who has stayed in a bad relationship thinking that things will improve. Sometimes we let an abuser in through the front door, we fail to read the warning signs or choose to ignore them. Also a must read for anyone interested in what it was like growing up in South Africa in the 1970s and 1980s. The back story of Tracy Going's childhood is just as interesting as the main story of bringing her abuser to justice.
April 11, 2019
Tracey Going , May this book encourage others to have a voice. Reading your book made me think of how many unwritten stories are out there which women have not shared. I am so sorry that you had to deal with this man. You and your family deserve all the blessings you so deserve. The day he lost you he lost everything as well as his own dignity. You are the real warrior in this story . Your son has an amazing mother and grandmother. May this book help you heal and help others heal.
October 14, 2018
Tracy grew up in an abusive household (her father was an alcoholic) and was determined that she would not suffer the same fate as her mother. But fate proved her wrong and she found herself in an awful brutal reality.
What made me angry while reading this book was how justice seem to take the side of the abuser, making him more the victim than Tracy herself.
What made me angry while reading this book was how justice seem to take the side of the abuser, making him more the victim than Tracy herself.
July 1, 2018
Brilliant. The feminist in me was angered deeply. As a woman I was saddened by how we have to be so vigilant. As a reader, I felt with Tracy Going, as hurt, disappointment, and anger were her companions. A well written book about an epidemic in South Africa - gender based violence
August 16, 2018
Brutally honest writing of a harrowing experience
Thoroughly enjoyed the book despite the difficult subject. Tracy conveys hope to women who have shared her ordeal and gives insight to those who don't.
Thoroughly enjoyed the book despite the difficult subject. Tracy conveys hope to women who have shared her ordeal and gives insight to those who don't.
October 21, 2018
Honest, sad and brave
It was an honest and brave account of personal tragedy, bravery and sadness for Tracy and the millions of women like her who never find vindication with the legal system.
It was an honest and brave account of personal tragedy, bravery and sadness for Tracy and the millions of women like her who never find vindication with the legal system.
August 2, 2018
A haunting yet incredibly topical book. Every young woman who is starting to see red flags in her relationship should read this autobiography.
June 7, 2019
Very brave, beautifully written book. A must read! Heart wrenching!
July 25, 2019
Very disturbing indeed
May 31, 2022
Brutally honest. A must read for any adult in SA where gbv is so tragically prevalent.
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