Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue

by Darby A. Strickland

Abuse in a marriage is a difficult problembut there is comfort in knowing that the Bible points the way toward answers. While it may not use the language of victims and abusers, it has plenty to say about the oppressed and their oppressors, and how much God opposes oppression.

Experienced family counselor Darby Strickland shows counselors and concerned family and friends how to recognize and uncover abuse, then uses Scripture to show what is truly happening in oppressive marriages. She explains how abuse confuses the oppressed into thinking they are to blame, then equips us to be the wise, informed defenders and advocates they need.

Learn how to walk patiently with victims and guide abusers toward repentance, through Strickland's concrete suggestions for comforting and protecting the oppressed while reorienting the heart of the oppressor.

Genres: Counselling, Self Help

56 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2018

Reviews

[Jennifer Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource/starting place.

[Jimmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the booklet I learned the most from in this biblical counseling series called “Resources for Changing Lives” printed by Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing. In the past there were many works in this series which I have read, reviewed and recommended but this one thus far surpasses them all in terms of it being biblical, practical and insightful. I am glad that is the case since the booklet covers a difficult topic that many pastors and churches might not have thought through about judging from the various controversies the last few years concerning pastors, churches and spiritual leaders concerning how they addressed or neglected the issue of abuse.


This booklet is longer than some of the other booklets in the series but the length is much needed given the complexity of the issue. The book is well organized beginning first with a definition of abuse and how to uncover it. Since abuse often is hidden by the abuser and also by the abused because of shame it is important that a pastor, biblical counselor or a church leader figure out how to uncover abuse. Here the booklet is incredibly helpful. The booklet then discuss about how addressing domestic abuse as merely a marriage problem can be destructive if one doesn’t understand the nature of abuse. This part of the book was very important and the author states some things that I have not seen in other works before. Finally the book looks at seven common traits of abusers and guidelines for the counselor on how to deal with both the victim and the oppressor.

Again there is a lot of good contents in this book. One shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but here you also shouldn’t judge it from its size. I took many pages of notes reading through this book of thing I learned or discovered. Probably one of the most memorable quote for me in this booklet is the truth that “Know that oppression is not about pain or feelings, but about maintain control.” Therefore the author exhorted biblical counselors not to let the abuser not to follow rabbit trails of the abuser’s discussion of his or her perceived hurt or emotions.

There is so much in the booklet. The cost of the booklet is rather inexpensive considering how helpful this booklet is.

NOTE: This book was provided to me free by P&R Publishing and Net Galley without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied

[Michael Philliber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Just plain wow! Darby Strickland, a Christian Counselor who teaches Counseling Abusive Marriages,through CCEF's School of Biblical Counseling, has penned a potent and profitable manuscript, and packaged it in this 52 page mini-book. The subject is serious, the content constructive, and the tone is tutorial.

Strickland begins with an opening scene where "Clint" and "Ashley" are sitting in her office beginning counseling...actually, she's the sixth counselor they've seen. The author is caught completely off guard by the tactics "Clint" uses to cover up his own oppressive conduct and actions. It took several sessions before she realized what was happening and the danger "Ashley" was in. I almost fell out of my chair as I was reading this scene, because it followed a pattern I too had experienced a few short years ago. Then I sat up and started taking note. The author unpacks the traits of oppressive people: (1) they feel entitled; (2) they dominate others; (3) they use threats; (4) the punish others in order to command and control; (5) they are blind to the destructive nature of their actions; (6) they feel justified in how they treat others; (7) the view themselves as blameless; (8) they will often see themselves as the real victim; and (9) they often shift the blame onto others (26-36). She also works through the patterns that the oppressed often show, and how to care for them.

"Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue" is a handy tool to have around and read periodically. It is well documented, and lists a number of helpful addresses, web sites, and phone numbers in the back. Pastors, as a Pastor you need this booklet now because there are some sitting in your pews or comfy chairs who will be visiting you soon. You need this info, you need to become familiar with these traits, the questions to ask, and what to look for. I'm going to be honest: we have not done a good job in helping oppressed people (normally women and children) and have often been taken for a joy ride by very tricky oppressors. I cannot recommend this pamphlet to you enough!

[Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book the church needs. In biblical, succinct, and powerful words, Darby Strickland points out the signs and strategies for dealing with oppression. Having seen this play out before my eyes with couples I've counseled, I wish this resource had been in my hands years ago. In fact, I'd go as far to suggest church leaders and seminaries should use this as required reading.

Perhaps my favorite thing about this booklet is the desire to see both the oppressed and oppressor find their hope and healing in Jesus, while at the same time giving space to address the tactics and trauma surrounding domestic abuse. This booklet is practical and personal, as Darby shares her own experience. If you are in a position to counsel couples relating to marriage issues, don't make things worse for the oppressed by ignoring the warning signs or viewing regular marriage counseling as the viable solution. The church needs to do better when it comes to dealing with abuse, so do yourself a favor and read this book.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This booklet should be on the must read list for anyone involved in church work or service. The pastoral team, elders, deacons, and any other leaders of adult groups should be well-versed in this topic. It is a situation often overlooked in the church, with people wearing blinders as to the truth that is probably sitting in the pews every Sunday, very often with those you least expect. Being in the church does not make couples exempt from this dynamic, and it is just as prevalent in the church as it is out of the church.

Darcy Strickland gives excellent tips for recognizing, responding, and rescuing women who find themselves in such relationships. There are so many mistakes that can be made without some basic knowledge, and this book is a great place to start.

Although it is just a short booklet, it is packed full of researched and helpful information, and even if nothing else can be read on the topic, this is a great foundation. With more time to spare, Is It Abuse? would be the next recommended book to educate on this often misunderstood dynamic.

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Domestic Abuse
Recognize, Respond, Rescue
by Darby A. Strickland

P & R Publishing


Christian
Pub Date 30 Apr 2018

I am reviewing a copy of Domestic Abuse through P&R Publishing and Netgalley:


Domestic abuse takes many forms, often starting with one spouses need to dominate and control the others. This is a prevalent problem and Christian marriages are no exception. This books helps to answer the questions how can concerned family members , and even counselors know how to recognize it.


Oppressed spouses become isolated and dominated over time. They begin to feel trapped with no way out.


This brief book is great for anyone who fears they may know someone who is in a situation of Domestic Abuse.


Four out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

[Charity Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short booklet, good for a quick overview of the topic of domestic abuse
this booklet would be a good way to introduce Christians and churches to this important yet often overlooked topic.
Compassion for victims, or the oppressed as they are called in the book; and a realistic perspective towards the oppressor (no fluffy promises or happy endings guaranteed).
I only wish there was a more details regarding identifying abusive behaviors included.

[Noel Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very short but excellent summary of how to approach and help those going through a domestic abuse situation in their home. Written from the perspective of the counselor.

[Thomas Pujol · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Primer

This is a great place to start for those in the weeds of un helpful secular advice, and an unbiblical patriarchy.

[Mayu Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Claro y liberador

Me ayudo a identificar lo toxicas que pueden llefar a ser las relaciones en el matrimonio y que hay esperanza para los sobrevivientes del abuso domestico.

[Wood Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful

This book is so helpful for those counseling those in abusive relationship. This is another must have for pastors and counselors.

[Kaitlyn Pindak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Darby Strickland is excellent.

Careful, compassionate, and practical.

[Aubrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tons of helpful info packed into a tiny booklet.

[Rena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good mini book but difficult content to read.