Aging for Beginners

by Ezra Bayda

We all grow old. This book teaches us how to take advantage of a new phase of a phase of renewal and inner exploration.

We’re all beginners when it comes to aging. And although the fact that we are in new territory can certainly contribute to the difficulties in dealing with getting older, it can also have a very positive side. Aging can be seen as a new phase of our a phase of renewal. Nowhere is this more evident than in our opportunity to devote more time to reflection and inner exploration. The result, regardless of whatever physical limitations we may be experiencing, is the possibility of cultivating and living increasingly from kindness and gratitude—two of the essential qualities of a life of satisfaction and equanimity.

With techniques that are both simple and richly unfolded, this book will help
• learn the subtle art of being with pain
• uncover the fears that amplify suffering
• tap into the true sources of meaningfulness and joy

Winner of the Spirituality & Practice Best Book Award in 2019.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

208 pages, Paperback

Published November 20, 2018

Reviews

[Gabrielle Jarrett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bayda's book did not draw me, as it took quite a bit to finish. It is worthwhile in the goal to remember the three things we cannot ever avoid: Illness, Aging, and Death. Quite simple, yet most difficult. We believe we are entitled to good health, especially if we work at it. We believe we can control it. Yet, the three inevitables are pretty much inevitable. The urge to stay present with whatever is happening within us is in itself a huge challenge. Bayda gives many examples of meditations to stay present with pain, anxiety, confusion, and anger that our bodies are no longer who they were one, two, three, four decades ago.
I like the TS Eliot quote: "Humankind cannot bear very much reality."
And, Stephen Levine: "Pain is one thing. How we relate to it is the other."
Bayda discusses the four fears: Fear of loss of safety, fear of loss of connection/abandonment, fear of powerlessness, and fear of unworthiness. A book worth reading.

[Ruthie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exactly what I need to guide me through the uncharted territory of aging! It addresses so many issues that come up as we age and the author offers a unique way to face the challenges that will arise as we grow older, in a kind and gently way. We will all have some, if not all, of these issues to face the longer we live, so it's somewhat comforting to know that this is felt in some degree or other by all of us. He offers an approach that includes meditation and embracing aging as a spiritual practice. This book is not secular in nature. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels the aging process beginning. Or, before it begins! The practices and meditations outlined can help anyone traverse this landscape of getting older. Give it a try!

[John Kaufmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is a Zen practitioner who has written one or two other very good books (Being Zen: Bringing Meditation to Life, Zen Heart: Simple Advice for Living with Mindfulness and Compassion, and others) on Zen practice and meditation. This book follows in the same footsteps, with some modification and adaptation for people who are aging and coping with illness and death (themselves or loved ones).

[Ann Douglas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the ideal reader for this book is probably someone a little older than me. (The author was in his mid-70s when he wrote the book; and I'm roughly two decades younger.) All that said, I loved his wise and honest reflections about learning to make peace with some of life's more difficult experiences, including grief. This is a deeply spiritual book that encourages you to look at the bigger picture: "The more we can truly understand that we don't have endless time, the more we can connect with what really matters to us--which allows us to prioritize more clearly how we really want to spend our time and energy."

[Ilon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book hoping I could learn more about what was going on as my Great Grandma ages and her mental health declines, but this is not that book. And it's not really a book about the specifics of what changes happen as you age, it's more about what simple changes you can make to your lifestyle and mindset to make the changes smoother. Most of the tips are applicable to EVERYONE- drink water, meditate, connect with friends, practice gratitude, etc.

[Susan Arthur · Rating 5 out of 5]

TIMELY. This read is timely for me. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about aging and death. This book has normalized those thoughts for me. The author takes a very Zen approach to aging that I endorse fully. The word “nihilism” even appeared in one chapter. There are no cures for aging found in this book ... but several coping mechanisms: meditation, gratitude, kindness, love among many others. This book was a gift from someone I don’t even know. Loved it! ❤️

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of the many books I’ve been reading on aging and all that comes with it — coping with illness, grief, death as well as establishing priorities for this new stage of living — this has been the best. Many meditations to help focus your exploration of the realities of getting older, much good advice and all written by someone who has met and continues to meet his own challenges. Highly recommend.

[Claire · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title of this book intrigued me because I thought it might have some insights and advice regarding aging. I was disappointed! It is full of all kinds of tips for meditation: the usual breathing and mindfulness stuff. I found it simplistic and silly and pretty much a waste of time.

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

It drew me in a bit at the beginning but less so as it went on. If you have done a lot of reading or practice of zen or yoga to Tao philosophy it will be a bit basic. If all of that is new then I suspect the book would resonate more

[Chelsea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I was expecting, but a deeply contemplative Buddhist work about aging that periodically includes meditations to include in your daily practice. Most of it centers on Bayda's own experiences with aging (he was in his 70s when he wrote this) and how he has grown and mentally adapted to it.

[Lael · Rating 3 out of 5]

My expectations got the better of me. I was thinking this would be a practical guide about aging, specifically and it was I guess, just not in the format and specifics I was hoping for.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine, but not really any different than the 100s of mindfulness books out there.

[Ric D. Savage · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sound advice but you should really be ready to retire. Otherwise it can be overwhelming and depressing.

[Rae Simpson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Own copy. One of best fits for me on aging

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's not just the outer circumstances of change and uncertainty that are the problem, but how we deal with them.

We are all programed to seek meaning.

On the surface there's nothing wrong with trying to be safe or comfortable. Our survival mode may take over and as we get older we may push aside curiosity, and appreciation. This may make our lives become narrowed and increasingly less satisfying.