Some Day You'll Thank Me for This: The Official Southern Ladies' Guide to Being a "Perfect" Mother

by Charlotte Hays, Gayden Metcalfe

A hilarious guide to that incomparable creature -- the Southern mother.

Southern society is arranged along matriarchal lines, since the Southern matriarch is a far more formidable being than the much nicer Southern male. She has to be this way; she was put on earth with a sacred mission: to drum good manners and the proper religion--ancestor worship--into the next generation.

In Some Day You'll Thank Me for This , Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, bestselling authors of Being Dead Is No Excuse and Somebody's Going to Die If Lily Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet , deliver up a hilarious treatise--complete with appropriate recipes from those finicky, demanding moms--on the joys, trials, and tribulations of being the daughter of a Southern mother. Including sections such as A Crown in Heaven (a Southern mother's favorite fashion accessory), Grande Dames, Toasting the Southern Mother, and why grandmothers prefer their "precious angel baby" grandchildren to their own "bad" children, this is the perfect gift for any Southern mother -- or daughter of one.

Genres: Humor, Southern, Nonfiction, Parenting

256 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2008

About the author

Charlotte Hays is the Director of Cultural Programs and Senior Editor at the Independent Women's Forum.

Reviews

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be fair, I think I would have liked this book much more if I had read it rather than listening to the audio. I could not take the reader's fake southern accent! Also, it is part cookbook so it was a little boring listening to ingredients read out loud.

[Drucye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny and interesting book. Not as good as some of their other books, though.

[Sue Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very funny book on southern mothers and their daughters. Lots of recipes.

[Sophie Rayton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is hilarious. I'm choosing to believe that this book is a parody of the serious etiquette guides that no doubt exist, although if the authors are not being ironic then this book is tragic. I live in the UK and there's no southern mother's here. God help all those who are afflicted with the real thing.

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good recipes

[Colleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a rather random Christmas present from my mother. I think she thought it would be funnier to me than it was, because we used to joke about Southern manners a lot while I was growing up. But she is not a Southern Mother, nor am I a Southern Daughter, and we most assuredly have not adopted that culture. I do write thank-you notes, sometimes, but that's about it.

In addition to not having a Southern Mother, I also have not been consistently exposed to Southern culture from friends or forced co-location. The farthest South that I've lived was for college at Virginia Tech, and even then, my roommates were from NoVA, Maryland, and Connecticut. I never pledged a sorority. So while some of the descriptions were funny even outside of Southern situations (cross-eyed bears!), I think a lot of the humor was too contextual for me to truly enjoy the way it was intended.

The other disappointment of this book - for me - is that almost a third of it is taken up with recipes rather than writing. While that might be lovely if you actually care about cucumber sandwiches and wedding cookies, it did little for me. I stopped actually reading the recipes about three chapters into the book. So while the page count was 256, it was really more like 160 pages of descriptive content.

I recommend this book to people who are immersed in the South, or have been there long enough to pretend.

[Tammy]

This book is somewhat amusing but so redundant and frustrating that I almost didn't finish. My major complaint is that it's so insular and non-representative of Southern womanhood. You'd never know it from this book, but Southern women do more than join the garden club and count Daddy's or hubby's money. Being a lady in any culture has little, if anything, to do with having money. The author says so herself near the end of the book, but the overall tone implies exactly the opposite.

In addition, while some of the author's descriptions are right on target (i.e., saying something is "cute" is just as likely to mean that it's the most hideous thing you've ever seen as meaning that it is, in fact, cute), many of her "rules" are hopelessly dated (such as sending your daughter to college primarily to find a husband) and/or never applied to any except the wealthy (it is possible, after all, to be a Southern lady without having a rich daddy, being a member of a sorority, marrying someone not of old money, and not knowing one style of silver from another).

My conclusion: an unsatisfying read that irritates more than entertains.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like its predecessors, this book is a combination recipe book and humorous (snarky) commentary about some aspect of life in the South. The first book was about death and funerals. The second, weddings. This one covers the topic of Southern mothers. This one's title lacks a tiny bit of the zing of the first two (i.e. Being Dead is No Excuse and somebody is Going to Die if Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet, but it's still reasonably amusing. The recipes don't do much for me personally. Most of them fall into the category known as "hoity toity," but it's never a bad thing to have some of those types of recipes around...just in case. Overall a good, quick, light and fluffy summer read!

[Shmegal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is the literary equivalent of Paula Deen planning a plantation wedding. I get that there is supposed to be tongue and cheek ribbing in this but for that to work you need humour and a bit of playful irreverence, two things missing in this book. It trivialises mental illness, discourages education for women, gambles in toxic misogynistic stereotypes, and encourages unhealthy relationships between mothers and daughters. It does not represent Southern culture or Southern women. Instead, it is a farce of upper middle-class White Southern stereotypes that were topical maybe 40 years ago. The only reason it earned two stars instead of one was the recipes. Just go watch Steel Magnolias if you need a sassy Southern lady fix

[Jenny France · Rating 2 out of 5]

I became interested in this book after reading the authors' tongue-in-cheek article on Thanksgiving etiquette in November's issue of Southern Living magazine. Some Day You'll Thank Me was filled with Southern recipes that for better or worse reminded me of my grandmother's cooking - sherry, mayonnaise, lots of cream cheese. It inspired me to make Country Captain Chicken. It was delicious, but I don't think Metcalfe or Hays would appreciate that I opted for the NEW YORK TIMES recipe over theirs. Audiobook. 234 pages.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Call me crazy, but I enjoyed the sequel on the Southern funeral just a tad bit more. This book is also full of Southern recipes and information about mother/daughter relationships in the South. I don't believe the relationships between mothers and daughters is really any different in other places, but I guess it could be. The best thing about the book is that it made me dig out my deviled egg plate.

[Paprika Stiletto · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more of a cookbook than a reference book, so I can't help but to give it one less star, because I was expecting more of a description (As snarky as it might be) of Southern Mothers. And it is a good book, but not worth 4 stars, so I gave it 3. Now, I certainly can't wait to try some of these recipes... I just wish there was more backstory to them. A very, very, VERY light read, consisting mostly of ingredient lists.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A walk down memory lane

Thank you for writing Someday you'll thank me for this. My mama passed away 10 years ago and I still miss her. This book sounded like you recorded my upbringing. All of the illustrations were exactly like I experienced growing up in South Alabama. My grandmother helped spoil me but unlike the grandmother in the book, mine could cook. I give the book 5 stars.

[Toni Maines · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a little disappointed, and to tell the truth, never finished. The humor wasn't enough for my taste, though I did laugh out loud a couple times. I thought there wasn't enough "meat" to balance the inclusion of typical southern recipes, which I suppose might be something new for those of us not raised here.

[Fran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightfully humorous look at Southern Mothers. Probably more appreciated by those of us with Southern Mothers than the rest of the world (who, after reading this, will think we are just plain weird!). Great recipes from my childhood are included (they are what we call 'Southern Favorites') and I was equally delighted to see them in print as to read the wit.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could identify with many of the lists the Daughters of Southern Mothers (DSM) shared in this book. And, yes, I realize that I, too, am turning into my mother with the things I think about or say with respect to being a lady or a gentleman. Thank you, Mom!

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not from the south, but I thought this book was funny and very interesting. I have to admit, though, that a lot of the recipes featured did not sound all that appealing. Do people really eat stuff like this?

[Somer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's funny because it's true. While perhaps somewhat of a caricature of Mississippi women, particulary from the Delta, I recognized women from my childhood in almost every story and recipe in this book. Speaking of recipes, this book is worth the read for the recipes alone.

[Leigh Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though I wasn't raised by a Southern mother, I recognized a lot of this book. Very funny. The recipes look good, but I have never used that much cream cheese in my life! I guess Midwest recipes had more Jello and less cream cheese!!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some recipes I'd like to try. Some recipes have been in my family for generations. Some recipes I would never try. I understand some crazy women in my life much better. It was fun to read. I wish I bought the hard copy and not ebook just for the recipes. I like my recipes in hard copy.

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as funny as their other books. Same formula, different title. Still funny. Just not as funny the third time around.

[Kate McAllister · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quick read, humorous, but not fantastic. I was going to give it to my mother but decided not to...not enough in there that she would appreciate. Very Delta-oriented.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was much more of a nostalgia trip for me than a how to book. Fun read.

[Kathryn Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ha! What a hoot (and scarily quite true)!

[Mary Jane Rouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Southern recipes for foods and hilarious thoughts associated with
the traditional southern role of motherhood.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very accurate observations about women in the South

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, quick read with southern antics--some ridiculous and some funny because they're true. Recipes are old southern style. Cute mother's day gift.

[Jeanne Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are from the south,chances are you will recognize some of your friends. . . and some of yourself! There's a lot to be said for the parts on etiquette!

[Cyndie Dyer · Rating 1 out of 5]

read a few pages then discarded

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this one even more. Could have something to do with my work. Funny and true!