The Power of the Powerless: A Brother's Legacy of Love

by Christopher de Vinck, Henri J.M. Nouwen (Introduction), Fred Rogers (Afterword)

Christopher De Vinck's moving account of his life with his brother made a deep impression on the hearts and minds of Americans. Due to a tragedy at birth, Oliver de Vinck was born severely handicapped—blind, mute, crippled, helpless. Despite the doctors' bleak prognosis, his loving parents took him home, where they and their children cared for him. He lived for thirty-three years.

Genres: Nonfiction, Disability, Memoir, Inspirational, Philosophy, Faith, Family

176 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1988

Reviews

[Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came to this book because I’ve known its author as a colleague for many years. Chris and I met again and again at various professional meetings over the years. I always knew he wrote and was serious about his writing, but during all those years he never tried to get any of us to read his books. Instead, from time to time, we’d come across various human-interest feature articles in the local newspapers.

The story at the heart of The Power of the Powerless, which is one of those features first appeared on the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal in 1985. (Here’s a link to a copy of that article: http://www.theosophy-nw.org/theosnw/i..., which is also reprinted in the early chapters of the book.) The powerless person alluded to in the title is the author’s younger brother, Oliver, who was born blind, mute, and severely cognitively impaired. Despite the fact that doctors estimated that his catastrophic disabilities would cause Oliver to die by the age of eight, he lived for thirty-two years at home with his family. He never gets out of diapers, sits up, or speaks. For thirty-two years his family cared for him, keeping him fed, clean, comfortable, and well-loved.

The focus of the book (as opposed to the article) is only partly about Oliver. In the first section of the book, de Vinck makes the case that loving Oliver led him to understand the nature of love in the world. His words are persuasive, and he shows how the lessons he learned shaped his own life. De Vinck’s 1985 article received lots of attention, including letters from Mr. Rogers and President Reagan. The rest of the book focuses on a handful of the many letters de Vinck received from others who were inspired by de Vinck’s words and their own situations to make important and positive changes in their own lives. All say in their various ways that learning to care for the least among us will change our lives for the better. The ability to make others change their own lives for the better is the power of the powerless.

[Pam · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a college professor of Communicative Disorders, I teach a counseling class in which I require students to read a memoir or fictional account of someone with a disability. This semester, The Power of the Powerless was one of the books I selected for the class. I am sorry for my students that I did, as I had to force myself to finish it. While certainly, De Vinck does provide some insight into being the brother of someone with signifiant disabilities, the books seemed less about understanding the family impact, joys, and sorrows of a family member with a disability and more about promoting his own writing career. Overall, the book seemed a bit pretentious in both content and writing style. For example, "Children dance around the glowering fire if their ancestors teach them how. Oliver (the brother) was part of that fire: the dry wood, the embers and the mystery in the smoke." Writing such as that seems a bit forced and flowery. Additionally, there were repeated statements (name dropping?) about De Vinck's relationship with the NY Times, Reader's Digest, and the Kennedy-Shriver family. I also found it a bit odd that the other stories about families with disabilities that he included all came from a male point of view. It was always a father or brother telling the story--never a female family member. There was certainly some food for thought in this book, but it was not what I was expecting based on the description and I thought the writing was a bit contrived. I will not use this book in my class again.

[Kelly L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was written by one of my favorite high school English teachers. His brother Oliver was the victim of a gas leak while in utero and was born severely handicapped. This story tells of the love the family felt for Oliver and also tells the stories of families with children like him. I still remember the day Oliver died when I was a freshman. I also still remember the grace shown by the author and his entire family growing up in our town.

[Adam Barger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second de Vinck book. I continue to appreciate his style, his rhythm of writing, and his underlying theme of valuing life. Much like his book on life transitions (Only the Heart Knows Where to Find Them), this book taps into the emotions of the reader by laying bare those of the writer. De Vinck is unapologetically challenging the notion of “other” by centering the experiences of those that many would call the least, last, left out, and lonely. Specifically, he translates the experiences of Oliver, his brother, to show us our need for people with different or disabled bodies.
This book is heart wrenching. And it should be. In a country where we care more about football, beer, and our dog’s Halloween costumes than the wellbeing of others, de Vinck’s lessons of 40 years ago are needed more than ever.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A slightly dated memoir published in the 80’s about a man whose brother was severely disabled (paralyzed, mute, deaf, etc.). He published a short article about how his family was transformed through loving his brother. His article raised a lot of awareness from politicians and the public on the need to shed our ableism and see the beauty in all of humanity.

[Kat Kent · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a good short read, the sad parts weren't really sad at all, but there are parts of this book that could make a person cry. I loved a couple lines on pages 110 and 138. The author does more than just write a memoir or an autobiography of HIS life and how it affected HIM, but he found other people like him who also had mercy-type situations who cared for people that either couldn't understand how much the person sacraficed for them or couldnt even respond back with the same amount of love. I like how he gets other stories of people but its no too long so their parts last a couple pages, it was a really interesting sad in an ok way read. i like how its only about 200 pages because it would be too depressing to read a 500 page or 1000 page book of sadness and sick children :(

[ananasparachute · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was disappointed in this book.
Christopher sounds like a lovely person, but I found the book deeply problematic.
The lives of the disabled people portrayed in his book (the author's brother, Oliver, along with a few others.) seemed to be treated as props for those that knew them, or read about them, to feel better about themselves and to discover "the meaning of life". Ironically, for a book that claims to want to give "power" to these disabled voices and to lend meaning to lives that others might write off as meaningless, it doesn't do any such thing. The prose is flowery and over-sentimental, with glurge-y religious overtones. The disabled people are basically inspiration porn.(from Wikipedia:" Inspiration porn is the portrayal of people with disabilities (or other uncommon life circumstances) as being inspirational to able-bodied people (or other common reference group), on the basis of their life circumstances.". These people didn't exist so that others could find some sort of inspiration and lead better lives. Their lives, just on their own, had meaning and purpose. We don't discover who these people really were. They're all painted in the insufferable "angelic" or "saintly" portrayal that a lot of severely disabled people get slapped with. These were real, live people who happened to have disabilities. They didn't exist so others could be inspired. They're not angels or saints. They're people.
I get that at the time Christopher likely published the original article, attitudes towards disability were even worse than they are today, so this would be ground-breaking. It desperately needs an update. (I was also, on a side note, not impressed with how much Reagan loved the article. Reagan could have used that so-called compassion towards those with AIDS that he treated like crap, and those living in poverty.)
I was bitterly amused at the fact that he gushes about the Kennedy family, after Sargent Shriver writes him a glowing letter about the original article about Oliver. Christopher glosses over and barely mentions the fact that JFK had a sister named Rosemary, who was intellectually disabled and rendered severely incapacitated after her father authorized her to get a lobotomy. She lived in a secluded convent home for the rest of her years, not seeing family for decades. I don't think JFK ever visited her. Christopher mentions vaguely how Rose Kennedy had a disabled child she was inspired by. Inspired by? Maybe much later in life, but they did exactly what Christopher was supposed to be preaching against: subjected Rosemary to brutal, inhumane treatment (although that was likely all her father, it's said Rose didn't know about it, but hard to say what really happened.) because the success-driven Kennedys were embarrassed by her, then warehoused her in an institution. (While Rosemary was a child, they also exaggerated and lied about her abilities, and hid her disability.) Not an uncommon attitude at the time, but it baffled me that Christopher held up the Kennedys as some sort of beacon of advocacy for the disabled without mentioning the dark truth of Rosemary. Yes, Eunice Kennedy did start Special Olympics, but she insisted that had nothing to do with her sister.
I was expecting to read a book about Oliver, and what life was like as the brother of a severely disabled sibling, living in decades when disability was barely understood and the rights of the disabled non-existent. His own story, and Oliver's, were skimmed upon and made into some sort of montage of ideal childhood memories.
It's unfortunate. This had the chance to be a great autobiography telling the story of a unique relationship with a man and his brother who lived with disabilities. Instead, it disintegrated into Hallmark-sentiment glurge that smacked of ableism.

[Owen Reilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fantastic story of a brother's love and the overarching impact that a disabled person's legacy can have on someone. I am biased in that this story hits close to home with the lessons that my brother taught me, which have led me to who I am today, and will ultimately continue to shape my life. This book provided a lot of comfort during a difficult time and the way that de Vinck expresses many aspects of growing up with a disabled sibling mirrored many of my feelings in my early life. Despite the heavy religious tone at times, I think this book is a must-read for anyone looking to understand, and love, a little more.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a book!!! Truly something everyone should consider reading. But even more so, learning from and thinking on what’s written … what these words convey … that’s where the good good is! 🥰🥰

“Because of them I won't let the world be destroyed. They are my favored ones and with them I made my conveant and I will be faithful to it.”

“Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God.”

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful story of acceptance and love. This recounting of one family's love for a son and brother who was born very different is something we can all learn from. Who are the people in our lives that we need to love on because they are simply there?

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first, I was really enjoying this novel, but after a while, it just seemed so repetitive.

[Meagan Grubbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great message. That’s all I can say.

[Carrie Cohen · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptionally beautiful book. Simple. Yet it goes to the deep parts of the human heart. I love this prose written by a poet. A great read, even better message.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, poignant, and important.

[Domonique Delaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very well written book full of touching stories. I could not put it down.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is centered around the subject of an essay that the author, Christopher DeVinck, wrote in the April 10, 1985 Wall Street Journal. The essay and it's subject not only changed his life but those of so many people who read it. It definitely changed mine. It was an inspiration to me.

In his essay and this book, Mr. DeVinck reflects on growing up with Oliver, his severely disabled, bedridden brother and how it influenced his life for the better. He tells the reader that Oliver was the most hopeless human being he had ever met, the weakest human being he had ever met, but he was also the most powerful human being he had ever met. Oliver "contributed" to their family in ways that changed all their lives. The author also took time out and visited with three other families with their own "Olivers". He tells their stories of how their children also impacted their lives as well.

After being given a grim prognosis about Oliver's condition, when it came to deciding whether to put Oliver in an institution or take him home to raise, his parents, Catherine and Jose DeVinck, chose the proactive response. Most parents would have chosen to put their child in an institution. They, however, took Oliver home and loved him and cared for his every need during the 32 years of his life. It was the road less taken perhaps, but it made all the difference. The DeVincks taught each of their children how to care for Oliver as well and he was made part of the family. By the author's own admission, Oliver influenced his life greatly, in ways he never imagined. He made him who he is today, a caring and compassionate individual. That is the power of the powerless!

Definitely a must read to be reminded of the things that are really important in life. Love, character, compassion and commitment just to name a few. I especially liked Mr. DeVinck's compassionate writing style. It lead me to read several of his other books.

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was billed as lessons a man learned from his brother, Oliver, who spent his life unable to see, communicate or move. Oliver spent his life on his back in bed in the same room, but touched the lives of his family. From this description, I expected a narrative kind of story about Oliver, the author, and the family. It was, instead, disjointed chapters of musings of the author which were sometimes relevant and poignant, sometimes passages in which he plagerized himself. Interspersed were stories by others who had written him letters after his initial essay was printed in the Washington Post. He interviewed three of these people and tells the story of how the impaired person in their families changed their lives for the better. I was somewhat surprised by the fact that all of these stories from other families were told by the male member....fathers or brothers, not mothers. I don't know if it was because these were the people who wrote the letters initially, or if they were the ones willing to speak, but the absence of a mother's voice was noticeable. Not that this was a bad book. Just not what I was expecting, not much about Oliver, and with a little bit of pretension in the language of the author. The message is worthy, though, and for that reason, I will would recommend the book. It's a fast read, so just dive in, find your moral and be happy with that.

[Desiree · Rating 3 out of 5]

This author's style was thoughtful and playful. My literary heart enjoyed his poetry and short stories. I adored his reference to great writer's from the past throughout his collection of stories. 

The Power of the Powerless is a thought provoking book that inspires a person to see strength in the weak, develop a heart of compassion through difficulty and to see ALL people as valuable and full of purpose. 

My modern nature questioned some of the archaic vocabulary used to describe people with special needs, however, the heart of the author and those that have allowed themselves to be changed and touched by people with special needs rang strong throughout the book. 

This book blessed my heart

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks for Ricky (Bianca's husband) for recommending this book about a mentally and physically disabled child who changed the life of his parents and siblings by simply being-
I wanted to give the book 5 stars but I felt like although the book itself added a few more details that it just couldn't improve on the short essay that initially inspired this book:
the essay itself (see link below) is a short/sweet must read
www.redeemertulsa.org/News/NewsStory....

[Toni · Rating 3 out of 5]

The following I submit as my expectations of this book (I haven't read it all yet, so I am not counting this as an actual "review"):

That loving the powerless may help us to uncomplicate the tangled mess of the world.... or that maybe this is just another sentimental expression of a fool. I mean, on one hand, giving care at home to one who is powerless can be very honorable, focusing, simplifying, gratifying. One the other hand, the necessity of dealing with evil broken systems and people (e.g., American "Health Care System and its Providers") can make one completely MAD.

[Jacqueline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Simply amazing and beautiful! de Vinck's story of his brother, Oliver, is a reminder how intricate and wonderful each child of God. He goes being on the "seeing" to present the true power of "knowing" our Father's love. de Vinck shows in our world that we hear but only by truly listening, even in the moments of no voice sounds, we are truly humbled and are transfigured to become meek allowing to then receive the love by those who are in our life as God's testament of love by his own love of his son. The Power of the Powerless gives so much hope when there is so much hopelessness.

[Luanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a VERY inspirational book, that came to me like a gift just at the time when I needed to hear its message. The writing is not extraordinary, but the message is.
About a man who had a brother, Oliver, who was extremely handicapped and powerless but had the power to bring out so much in others. Great message that in the end love is all there is and all that is needed.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris deVinck wrote an essay for Reader's Digest about his brother Oliver, who lived his entire life in one room unable to feed or clothe or take care of himself in any way. Is someone like that worth keeping alive? Can someone like that make a difference? deVinck answers these questions in this book.

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am an English teacher and am lucky to say that the author of this book is my Supervisor. If you think his writing is amazing and his stories are touching, you should meet him in person! He is lovely and caring and a gifted storyteller.

[t · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving, wonderful reminder of how much we need the meek and powerless to teach us... I read this in one sitting and was deeply touched... I came to love that phrase "the house of Oliver", because Chris brings us to Oliver, and others like him, and we find ourselves loving them also...

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book written by a high school English teacher at NHRHS, where I went to high school. Why wasn't I in one of his classes? Get the tissues ready and be ready to thank God for your health, and the health of your child/children.

[Concetta Kellough · Rating 5 out of 5]

All lives have meaning and this book proves it. The author talks about people who are "vegetables" that some people may think aren't worth anything. The author shows us that all people have a meaningful life.

[Madi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book, made me have to stop and think often about my own views and perspective. I do slightly wish the author would have focused a bit more on the details of his own story, but I certainly appreciated hearing about all the families that could related to having an Oliver.

[Tina Zellman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring

[Sheri Girgenti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. Something every person should read.