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Travails of a Trailing Spouse
The adventure starts when Sarah’s husband, Jason, is offered a position at a university in Singapore. Sarah, a successful lawyer in the US, quits her job and the couple say their farewells, and, with their two children, fly off to a new country, a new condo, and a completely new life.
The country is easy enough to adapt to (though the prices of some things? Jaw-dropping!) and Sarah and Jason soon meet the other expats in the condo. There’s Carys, the teacher, and good-looking Ian; Ashley, who keeps her apartment freezingly air-conditioned, and Chad, her amiable husband; Sara, who, like Sarah and Jason, is Asian-American, and John, who travels often for work. The couples form a close-knit group, and their evenings are soon filled with poolside barbecues, Trivia Nights, dinners, drinks and more drinks.
But is it time to put the brakes on the craziness when Jason and Chad are arrested after a pub brawl? Why, with such a fantastic lifestyle, is Sarah starting to feel listless? When will Sara’s brave front finally crack? Who’s that woman in the lift with Ian? And what secret is Carys keeping from her friends?
Not a simplistic novel of one-dimensional characters, Travails of a Trailing Spouse will strike a chord with anyone, expat or not, who has ever found life more interesting, complicated, frustrating and, ultimately, deliciously rich than could ever have been imagined.
The country is easy enough to adapt to (though the prices of some things? Jaw-dropping!) and Sarah and Jason soon meet the other expats in the condo. There’s Carys, the teacher, and good-looking Ian; Ashley, who keeps her apartment freezingly air-conditioned, and Chad, her amiable husband; Sara, who, like Sarah and Jason, is Asian-American, and John, who travels often for work. The couples form a close-knit group, and their evenings are soon filled with poolside barbecues, Trivia Nights, dinners, drinks and more drinks.
But is it time to put the brakes on the craziness when Jason and Chad are arrested after a pub brawl? Why, with such a fantastic lifestyle, is Sarah starting to feel listless? When will Sara’s brave front finally crack? Who’s that woman in the lift with Ian? And what secret is Carys keeping from her friends?
Not a simplistic novel of one-dimensional characters, Travails of a Trailing Spouse will strike a chord with anyone, expat or not, who has ever found life more interesting, complicated, frustrating and, ultimately, deliciously rich than could ever have been imagined.
332 pages, Paperback
First published January 15, 2018
8 people are currently reading
170 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
February 18, 2018
As I also moved from the US to Singapore, I freely admit to being biased when I say I found this book pretty boring. I can see why it would be interesting to people who’ve never been to Singapore or who’ve never lived abroad, but for me it was just a bland recitation of the complaints and discoveries I’ve heard expats talk about ad nauseum for the past 6 years.
I think the main issue I had was the “and then this happened” style of the plot, something that occurs when a writer draws heavily from their own experiences and is compelled to stay true to real-life chronology. It also felt like the writer held back on some of the messier, more intimate parts of marriage. Sex and fights are referenced in pretty PG terms — another symptom of writing from real life: not wanting to potentially embarrass the people you’re writing about.
I think the main issue I had was the “and then this happened” style of the plot, something that occurs when a writer draws heavily from their own experiences and is compelled to stay true to real-life chronology. It also felt like the writer held back on some of the messier, more intimate parts of marriage. Sex and fights are referenced in pretty PG terms — another symptom of writing from real life: not wanting to potentially embarrass the people you’re writing about.
March 15, 2018
It is 'life in Singapore' from the eyes of an expat. Even though it feels like the 'First World' complaints of rich wives, there is more to this book than that. With witty ends to each chapter and the internal struggles of intelligent minds this book makes you question the definition of success. Where does the feeling of being worthy arise from, is a question that is beautifully explored in this novel.
April 28, 2019
If you are in for a quick read, a cup of coffee and juicy gossips, this book is for you.
I truly enjoy this book. It's been a long time since I last truly enjoyed a book without caring what is going to happen next each page.
Reading this book I enjoyed just being present with the character and living in the moment of the story.
Being a Singaporean, I find it amusing what others find it weird from culture, habit, language when I grew up with them. It's interesting to see another POV.
This book give me Sex and The City vibes, gossip girls, desperate housewives etc.
It's about common everyday marriage, women, career problems. That we find very annoying but when it someone's else story, we find it very interesting.
There was a balance of different characters, different storyline and each relationship with the main character is not too much or too little.
The writing was very easy to read, the flow of the book was smooth and it blends together.
The ending feels like there's another story for another character which I don't mind at all.
I truly enjoy this book. It's been a long time since I last truly enjoyed a book without caring what is going to happen next each page.
Reading this book I enjoyed just being present with the character and living in the moment of the story.
Being a Singaporean, I find it amusing what others find it weird from culture, habit, language when I grew up with them. It's interesting to see another POV.
This book give me Sex and The City vibes, gossip girls, desperate housewives etc.
It's about common everyday marriage, women, career problems. That we find very annoying but when it someone's else story, we find it very interesting.
There was a balance of different characters, different storyline and each relationship with the main character is not too much or too little.
The writing was very easy to read, the flow of the book was smooth and it blends together.
The ending feels like there's another story for another character which I don't mind at all.
March 5, 2018
Reading Travails of a Traveling Spouse was like sitting down for a good gossip with a girlfriend in Singapore. Many of the characters are familiar–whether because they resemble actual expats I’ve met, or fit the widely accepted stereotypes. It’s a breezy, enjoyable read. It is the antithesis of Crazy Rich Asians, which was a soapy take on the uber-rich of Singapore.
Chen captures, honestly and beautifully, the journey of becoming an expat when you transition from working woman to stay at home mom in a new country. The thrill of excitement and discovery, and then the alienation that comes with attempts to fit into a new role and a new country. Through Sarah and her friends (all of whom are having their own, different, experiences) you get a peek into a certain type of experience of expat life in Singapore. I say certain, because most expats never have a run-in with the law!
The characters are three dimensional, and unique in their voices. Sarah struggles with her role as a stay at home mom, her anxiety at dealing with a strange country’s legal process after her husband is arrested for fighting (even though he wasn’t the one who was fighting, but he was drunk at the time), her anger and the strain on her marriage that Jason’s arrest causes, and ultimately the ebb and flow of expat life as things and people change.
Chen drops in details, like that FDW’s (Helpers) are often acting as a second mother/aunty to your child while their own children grow up far away without their mothers, and that visits are rare. However, she does so deftly, without changing the tone of the book from fiction to non-fiction. I appreciated this little nuggets, as they serve to show that the ease of expat life often comes at the expense of others, or that Singapore is often bewildering to expatriates and why.
This is also the story of expats who aren’t white, and I’m so glad to see that representation.
However, there’s one element that is missing from the book, and it’s a bit of a damned if you do/damned if you don’t situation—Singaporeans. There are Singaporean police. There are background Singaporeans. But there are no Singaporean friends, and it’s noticeable. However, had she written in a character, it would be difficult to capture the Singaporean voice and the character would be a token character. But I think that this, too, isn’t an uncommon expat experience. I’ve talked before about the expat bubble, and Sarah and her friends live in it.
I think any expat would enjoy the book, but I think non-expats would also enjoy this book. However, you’ll have to get a physical copy–there are no e-book formats available,
Chen captures, honestly and beautifully, the journey of becoming an expat when you transition from working woman to stay at home mom in a new country. The thrill of excitement and discovery, and then the alienation that comes with attempts to fit into a new role and a new country. Through Sarah and her friends (all of whom are having their own, different, experiences) you get a peek into a certain type of experience of expat life in Singapore. I say certain, because most expats never have a run-in with the law!
The characters are three dimensional, and unique in their voices. Sarah struggles with her role as a stay at home mom, her anxiety at dealing with a strange country’s legal process after her husband is arrested for fighting (even though he wasn’t the one who was fighting, but he was drunk at the time), her anger and the strain on her marriage that Jason’s arrest causes, and ultimately the ebb and flow of expat life as things and people change.
Chen drops in details, like that FDW’s (Helpers) are often acting as a second mother/aunty to your child while their own children grow up far away without their mothers, and that visits are rare. However, she does so deftly, without changing the tone of the book from fiction to non-fiction. I appreciated this little nuggets, as they serve to show that the ease of expat life often comes at the expense of others, or that Singapore is often bewildering to expatriates and why.
This is also the story of expats who aren’t white, and I’m so glad to see that representation.
However, there’s one element that is missing from the book, and it’s a bit of a damned if you do/damned if you don’t situation—Singaporeans. There are Singaporean police. There are background Singaporeans. But there are no Singaporean friends, and it’s noticeable. However, had she written in a character, it would be difficult to capture the Singaporean voice and the character would be a token character. But I think that this, too, isn’t an uncommon expat experience. I’ve talked before about the expat bubble, and Sarah and her friends live in it.
I think any expat would enjoy the book, but I think non-expats would also enjoy this book. However, you’ll have to get a physical copy–there are no e-book formats available,
March 22, 2018
As an expat living in Singapore, I related to many of the stories and sentiments shared in this story- particularly about losing and redefining ones identity. I thought this struggle, along with the strain it ours in relationships was well conveyed. I also admit that I enjoyed getting to know the author’s story (loosely based on real-life) a bit more as she is a new acquaintance of mine.
This book didn’t get five stars from me because of the style of narration. I didn’t find myself getting lost in the story or characters, instead I felt as though it was told to me by someone who was disconnected from the events. In some of the stories, I wish I would have been “shown not told.”
For anyone looking for an accurate account of life as an expat in Singapore, give this book a read.
This book didn’t get five stars from me because of the style of narration. I didn’t find myself getting lost in the story or characters, instead I felt as though it was told to me by someone who was disconnected from the events. In some of the stories, I wish I would have been “shown not told.”
For anyone looking for an accurate account of life as an expat in Singapore, give this book a read.
December 27, 2017
Oh no, it's over! That's what I thought when I finished this extremely well-written novel that touched my heart strings for various reasons. Chief among them is the quest for emotional stability, which of course, is an illusion. Some women have given up amazing careers to give their husbands and families a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; but then they find themselves with much time to ponder their own roles within their family, and the world around them. It should be a prerequisite for anyone thinking about moving abroad!
January 21, 2018
Such a fun glimpse into the life of an expat navigating a new world after leaving behind the stability and security of home. Sarah’s story will resonate with anyone who has ever had a “What if I left my well-paying but unfulfilling job to take a chance on something?” conversation. It’ll doubly speak to any immigrant child struggling to balance the Western notion of “doing what you love” with the expectations of his/her parents, who often left behind family, friends, and their own passions to pursue the American Dream.
December 16, 2017
I found the book very relatable even though I'm a guy and have never lived abroad. The expat life is inherently interesting and it sounds like a nonstop party in spite of having kids. I also found myself wondering how much is based on real events - it is written in a way where it is hard not to believe almost everything happened.
July 23, 2018
Let me preface this by saying I am an expat living in Singapore (from Australia). I found this book weak. The plot was predictable, the characters were superficial and I was particularly disappointed with the way it glossed over the foreign domestic worker situation within the country.
August 23, 2018
I feel as though I just finished reading a journal of an ex-pat housewife in Singapore rather than a thought-out storyline. The whole book revolves around the mundane every-day gossip-y lives of neighbors and friends, and the exciting parts are all the new things like fines for littering, air conditioning, and helpers in Singapore. Having just been there, it’s fun to read, but from a plot perspective and character perspective, it’s not really all there to keep any real interest. Getting into a public fight is not a strong enough conflict, and neither is the speculative infidelity of some lady’s husband - who incidentally we have very little characterization to draw any empathy for. I suppose that’s the whole idea of the book - all these non-events make up the boring lives of these people, and they have to find ways to “exciten” them up.
I liked Singapore, though.
I liked Singapore, though.
January 1, 2018
This book is exactly the kind of book I want to bring with me on vacation - a bit of drama and suspense, lots of laughs, and characters that feel modern and real. I tore through the pages of this book, really enjoying the character development and intertwined relationships. I loved the realistic depiction of the expat experience and fascinating perspective on moving to a place so different than home.
December 17, 2017
Perfect for those looking for a easy-to-read page turner! I felt like I was getting the "inside scoop" on the expat experience- crazy, but still full of the realities of family life. The characters are well-written and complex, yet relatable.
April 14, 2018
This was a bit of deja vu - most of these scenarios are found on the expat wives' FB pages online - could have saved myself the $18.50.
August 27, 2021
DNF. Mind-numbingly dull. Really unlikable protagonist.
August 2, 2019
This reads like a memoir of an expat wife in Singapore - she turns up, has life eased by the domestic helper, and valiantly attempts to occupy her time. At first she focuses on childraising, but then gets increasingly involved in ad hoc volunteer work (although the overseas trips appear to have some level of voluntourism - an idea which the narrator is uncomfortable with). She tries to fill her time in the same way her previous employment (partner in a law firm) did; but is unable to. There is that level of dissatisfaction, and Sarah never seems to fully address that.
I found this interesting - especially if you compare it to Primates of Park Avenue, which is also about living a high class life from an American perspective (although Primates was located in US). You have wives looking to fill their time - especially through charity work (Sarah remarks that the expat community was dying for charity opportunities). Sarah tends to deal with ad hoc work, rather than charity boards.
There's some drama about cheating (). There's drinking, and drunken escapades (leading to ). I liked the attempt at marital counselling too.
Singaporeans are background to this expat bubble - for all that its set in Singapore. Sarah's world feels narrow; she contemplates, at points, speaking to them, but doesn't. I don't fault the book for this - I suspect it's true to life.
I was dissatisfied with the lack of plot - Sarah really meanders through her experience, and I kept waiting for something to happen, rather than quotidian dramas. Nothing did.
So 3.5/5 stars; though that's mostly due to the setting.
I found this interesting - especially if you compare it to Primates of Park Avenue, which is also about living a high class life from an American perspective (although Primates was located in US). You have wives looking to fill their time - especially through charity work (Sarah remarks that the expat community was dying for charity opportunities). Sarah tends to deal with ad hoc work, rather than charity boards.
There's some drama about cheating (). There's drinking, and drunken escapades (leading to ). I liked the attempt at marital counselling too.
Singaporeans are background to this expat bubble - for all that its set in Singapore. Sarah's world feels narrow; she contemplates, at points, speaking to them, but doesn't. I don't fault the book for this - I suspect it's true to life.
I was dissatisfied with the lack of plot - Sarah really meanders through her experience, and I kept waiting for something to happen, rather than quotidian dramas. Nothing did.
So 3.5/5 stars; though that's mostly due to the setting.
July 11, 2021
Overall, a relatively light read. The characters were framed to not be boring and one-dimensional however, they were a tad cliche.
Some parts raised my eyebrows, others I rolled my eyes at the pretentiousness.
I asked my American fiance about certain aspects that made me scratch my head.. having been to Georgia quite a few times myself and given that he had lived there for a bit, the weather was kinda similar to Singapore so I didn't understand one character's fuss about needing the air-conditioning set at 18 all day long..
Another part was Sarah whining about Singlish... and there were quite a few rants about it.. now I do not advocate Singlish but it is what it is.. saying that it grates you hearing the kid speak such bad English - simple fix for the character Sarah - International or private school.. duh
Another part finding something that CS, a Kiwi chilled fella said twice which could have been interpreted as regular comments were instead implied to have racist connotations... eh?
Then, there was a paragraph that annoyed me with its pretentiousness. Only wanting to seek an American shrink as Sarah doubted that Jason and her could stand being judged by someone with a Singaporean accent.
Get over yourself honey..
The irony is that this book which kinda hits at some local cultural elements yet is published by a local publisher and found under the Singapore section.. hmmm...
Towards the end, the protagonist appreciates Singapore to a certain extent.. thanks?
Easy read with a couple of eyerolls, huhs thrown in, and some inklings of sex in the city - the expats edition rolled in one. *lol*
Some parts raised my eyebrows, others I rolled my eyes at the pretentiousness.
I asked my American fiance about certain aspects that made me scratch my head.. having been to Georgia quite a few times myself and given that he had lived there for a bit, the weather was kinda similar to Singapore so I didn't understand one character's fuss about needing the air-conditioning set at 18 all day long..
Another part was Sarah whining about Singlish... and there were quite a few rants about it.. now I do not advocate Singlish but it is what it is.. saying that it grates you hearing the kid speak such bad English - simple fix for the character Sarah - International or private school.. duh
Another part finding something that CS, a Kiwi chilled fella said twice which could have been interpreted as regular comments were instead implied to have racist connotations... eh?
Then, there was a paragraph that annoyed me with its pretentiousness. Only wanting to seek an American shrink as Sarah doubted that Jason and her could stand being judged by someone with a Singaporean accent.
Get over yourself honey..
The irony is that this book which kinda hits at some local cultural elements yet is published by a local publisher and found under the Singapore section.. hmmm...
Towards the end, the protagonist appreciates Singapore to a certain extent.. thanks?
Easy read with a couple of eyerolls, huhs thrown in, and some inklings of sex in the city - the expats edition rolled in one. *lol*
April 12, 2020
I adore this book! This is an honest, light-hearted portrayal of what it is like to be a successful, intelligent, well-to-do, and courageous American woman who makes sacrifices for her husband and family. What is it like to know a life of urban success but then choose to move to a foreign country? How shall she build her new life? What does it feel like to be a savvy and curios Asian American woman living in Asia? What makes her feel insecure? What makes her feel fulfilled? This novel contains excellent prose, believable dialogue, three-dimensional characters, interesting scenes, relatable problems, and memorable surprises. Clearly, she has a sharp eye and cultural sensitivity. Her writing is intelligent, clear, and precise. There is humor, family drama, and an authentic search for meaningful, human connection. I look forward to reading more fiction by Stephanie Suga Chen.
October 25, 2020
This is an honest story that dispells the expat stereotype in Singapore--that this is a privileged group of people who is happy to stick to its own community and is generally a self-satisfied lot. The author, through the viewpoint of a single character Sarah, explains why a rosy lifestyle is too good to be true, and through her interactions with a few more exaggerated characters (Ian, Chad, Sara, etc, collectively called the Manchester Crew), shows the reader that idyllic fantasies of living in an English speaking but yet foreign country can fall apart as quickly as they form. The descriptions of modern Singapore are authentic, and lend credibility to the characters' brush with the law and their career and marital problems.
February 11, 2021
This is a fun, light read for the beach or a rainy day. Or, a pandemic. It will resonate with trailing spouses, who pack up and move around the world to accommodate their partner's job opportunity. Reading it immediately took me back to the tagalong lifestyle - making new fast friends, drinking and marital problems, the loss of a sense of purpose. I liked how the narrator was quick to observe her husband's flaws, but blind to her own issues. Snap! Perfect for a girls trip to Thailand. Mai Tai, anyone?
January 30, 2020
Great light read for anyone living as an expat
Reviewing this without my background I would have rated this differently but if you have lived abroad this book strikes a cord with the struggles and blessings of being a “trailing spouse.” Written more like a memoir and maybe more appropriately penned as such, I still loved for a moment on my journey living abroad feeling connected with another who went through the expat life!
Reviewing this without my background I would have rated this differently but if you have lived abroad this book strikes a cord with the struggles and blessings of being a “trailing spouse.” Written more like a memoir and maybe more appropriately penned as such, I still loved for a moment on my journey living abroad feeling connected with another who went through the expat life!
March 15, 2021
Завязка книги «цепляет» -юрист, партнер юридической фирмы и мать двоих детей переезжает из США в Сингапур после того, как её муж получает должность профессора в университете. Адаптация к новой жизни, новые знакомства, предполагаемый гламур жизни экспатов. Героиня пытается заново изобрести себя и найти цель в жизни.
Создалось впечатление, что автор не знала как закончить повествование. Развязка разочаровала.
Создалось впечатление, что автор не знала как закончить повествование. Развязка разочаровала.
June 17, 2019
As an American expat in SE Asia, and as one who spends a lot of time in Singapore, I enjoyed reading about a character going through “similar” adjustments and experiences. That being said, the writing is very simple, and quite frankly I’m curious why she didn’t just write a memoir—I feel like that might have been a better fit for her writing style.
February 10, 2018
2.5 stars.
March 1, 2018
This is an account of a quite common new expat experience in Singapore. For many new arrivals under 40, it’s like being in college again — the good and the bad.
June 11, 2018
I am biased since I have been an expat wife for a while now. It's a very entertaining book that still showcases the real social issues that families face who choose this lifestyle.
August 8, 2018
Light read, some what relatable to my expat experience. Quite boring in parts hence why it took so long to read.
May 12, 2021
Expat fiction: I can't say how much of this is based on fact, but to me it reads very much as thinly fictionalised memoir—full of the sort of banal anecdotes that make friends back home say 'Wow! Your life is so exciting! You should write a book about it!' There are some fact-bombs about Singapore sprinkled throughout that I found fairly interesting (I know little about Singapore), but mostly...I found it hard to stay interested in stories about an enclave of foreigners doing the frat-life version of being expats. At one point Sarah (distinguished from Sara) marvels at seeing a Caucasian outside the gilded cage: On a few occasions, she had walked past a young Caucasian sitting at an outdoor hawker centre, casually drinking a glass of barley tea or eating a plate of rojak, and watching a football match playing on the ceiling-mounted TV; each time, she had wondered how he had made his way here, away from the expat enclaves of River Valley or Holland Village, to the heartlands of Singapore. Had he married a Singaporean? Had he adopted a Singlish accent to fit in? Or perhaps he was a teacher at the international school located nearby who happened to be off on the same day that Sarah made her deliveries. (220) It's sort of telling, isn't it? Sarah's willing to move abroad for a time, but only if she can stay deep within a Western comfort zone; stepping into the Singapore that Singaporeans (or, for that matter, foreign workers in domestic jobs) experience is a bridge too far. It's a pretty common expat experience, I guess, and travelling experience, but it's not what I'm looking for in a book.
December 25, 2018
Reads a little too much like a memoir of a trailing spouse (which I understand the book started as) and thus offers flat characters and a sagging story arc. Unfortunately limited in its narrow vision of expat life with little room for reflection about the political economy that makes that privileged lifestyle possible. Could there have been a male trailing spouse character? Why can’t the main character continue to meet her Chinese expat volunteer friend for coffee, if that makes them feel more comfortable than meeting in either's flat? Does the trailing spouse have to find meaning in volunteer work, such a predictable and basic end? Marketed as a light beach read and that’s about all it offers in the typical (and therefore the most frustrating aspects) of a certain type of expat life.
December 22, 2017
A really fun and easy read - finished it on one plane ride. The adventures seem unbelievable but written in such an honest, open way, I couldn't help but wonder how much was fiction. It made me want to pack my bags up and move overseas!
June 18, 2018
a light and fluffy "popcorn" read, which was what I wanted for a "convalescing" read. an enjoyable enough sorta-voyeuristic ride into life of an expat wife here, even if it's a "skimming the surface" account. Almost always interesting/fun to read books written by i) citizens with Singapore as the backdrop, ii) a visitor who has briefly spent time here or iii) a visitor who has since considered the island home.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews